The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I thought I was going to stop writing for the time being after the article before this one, but it looks like God intended otherwise. So here goes the story, and I’ll share it quick: it looks like God has already assigned me my first task for the Bible verse I shared in this article. And it was a missed opportunity. Sorry, Lord. I’ll try better next time. 😀
Yesterday, I went to Sorsogon City to have my FPE (first patient encounter) at SMMGH since I have chosen it as my YAKAP provider. Why SMMGH? I am already familiar with the place since we stayed there for almost 2 months in 2023 during Mom’s confinement. I always get lost inside hospitals. lol
I was planning on having my first consultation at the OPD, as I was targeting to avail of their breast screening services (breast ultrasound and mammogram), but I was informed that they are still waiting for the mammography machine to arrive.
I thought I’d just wait for it to arrive before I have my first consultation. Or I can have the breast ultrasound first because SMMGH is my YAKAP provider until December this year only.
It was around 8am when I left Bulan on board the Bulan Trans Co. shuttle. The bus conductor was a jolly, old fellow who approached me while we were en route to Sorsogon City, asking to exchange a 20-peso coin for 1 peso or 5 peso coins. He was already short of change, and I was more than glad to exchange the coins in my purse, as they are also heavy.
After a couple of minutes, he approached me again. This time, he handed a 500-peso bill, and when I looked at it, I knew what he meant. I smiled my widest and nodded, declining his request. And we both burst out in laughter. He knew that I was not going to exchange my smaller bills because, well, “barya lang sa umaga.” 😀
We arrived in Sorsogon City around 10am, and I was planning on grabbing a bite at SM City Sorsogon. Only to realize that SM adjusted its store hours to open at 11am pala. lol I was also planning to freshen up there. So I have decided to go straight to SMMGH instead via the tricycle and just have my brunch at a small cafeteria in front of the hospital, still looking “unfresh” from my 2-hour trip.
After I ordered my food, I chose a table and sat with my back towards the entrance so I wouldn’t get to see the passersby. Then a woman sat at the next table across from me. When she entered, she already sort of half addressed me, telling me she was going to get water from the water dispenser. I quickly noticed her expression, though she tried to smile: lost and bewildered.
I smiled back at her, albeit awkwardly, because I really don’t converse with strangers. Then I resumed eating, and I can see from my peripheral vision that she is somehow not relaxed. So I looked at her, and I saw that she’s also looking at me as if she wanted to say something, but was just hesitating. Then she just started sharing about how her son (if I got it right, because she was speaking fast) was bitten by a dog and has had a fever for 2 days already.
They came here at SMMGH to get an anti-rabies vaccination and an anti-tetanus shot, but she doesn’t know how much they are going to pay. So to make her feel relaxed, I’ve been asking her questions, like the age of the boy (grade 5). Then there was a pause in our convo, and I felt like I wanted to ask her if she’s eaten already. But I don’t know how to ask that question out of the blue because it seems off-topic.
I waited, and she started talking again and said that they are waiting for Doctor Hermo to check the kid, and she hasn’t eaten yet. Ah, yes, and there was my cue. I immediately took my wallet and gave her a 100-peso bill. I told her, “Ate, bili mo ‘yan ng pagkain mo ha.” She thanked me right away, and I asked her where they came from. She said they’re from Bacon, and I also told her I’m from Bulan.
Then she stood up and thanked me again multiple times while bowing. I almost laughed and just told her, “Okay lang ‘yan, Ate. No problem. God bless you po.”
Why did I give her money? What if she were just a con artist or a beggar? It doesn’t matter – the need was there.
I know that look. Three years ago, I was also seated at the same table where she sat, having the same lost and bewildered look, almost close to breaking down, and contemplating what would happen to my Mom. I was in that exact table, processing everything that my family and I were going through.
Questions like, will she survive her stage 4 breast cancer? How long are we staying in the hospital? How long will I see her with so many contraptions attached to her? Will we be able to keep up with the running bill at the hospital? And a whole lot more of anxieties and worries.
For someone like me who is extra sensitive to other people’s energy and vibe, I can sense right away without them telling me what they are thinking or feeling. And maybe this is the reason why I often encounter strangers who would just vent out their problems to me, and at first, I thought it was a bit awkward. But when it happened a lot of times, I realized that it was no longer a coincidence.
Then it dawned on me, I missed the opportunity. I should’ve PRAYED for her even if it’s just a short prayer. And it came clearer what the right response should be when people approach and share their problems: listen, pray together, ask God for solutions, and then go find those solutions.
At that time, I was in a hurry, though, because I didn’t know how long the FPE takes, and I was also going to the PhilHealth Sorsogon branch afterwards to inquire about contributions since I had missed payments (when I transitioned to a freelancer).
Yes, when I am on an errand, I tend to be “Flash” woman, accomplishing everything in as little time as possible. lol Let’s just say I am always deliberate and systematic in how I do things, and I am very intentional with how I use my time. So, no dillydallying. 😀 I also thought I’d process all of these now while I am not yet physically weak.
Going back to her, I know that is not a reason enough to let her go without praying for her. I should’ve asked her to sit beside me so I could pray for her and maybe give her a hug, too. I felt that her need was genuine; she was desperately looking for help, even if it was just for her food.
My heart bleeds for moments like this. 100 pesos is not much. It’s like the story of 5 barley loaves and fishes in the Bible. I was thinking what food she can buy with it, with all the inflation and skyrocketing prices of everything. And yet, I prayed to God that, though the monetary value of that money might be small, may its impact on her be big enough to sustain her and her boy – faith, hope, courage, and strength.
I believe my first task has already started. I know, I will be meeting more people like her. I know I will be praying for more like her in this setting, even as I myself will be in dire need of prayers. Because the comfort God gave me when I was in a situation like theirs is the same comfort that God has tasked me to share with them. ❤
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
P.S. Naisip ko na hindi kaya dahil din sa akala niya ay Med Rep ako? lol Check out the photo below for reference. I only had 3 seconds to take this photo before I caused traffic in the comfort room. Sareeee. 😀
I think it’s the bag that gave away the Med Rep vibe. lol
P.P.S. I thank God for the trusted and reliable workers whenever we have projects at home or on the farm. We wouldn’t be able to achieve each one of these projects if it weren’t for them. And I’d like to thank Tio Bindoy, a highly skilled mason who’s worked with the family for generations already, for bringing in these farm harvests galing din sa bukid ng kamag-anak nila.
Noong nakaraang buwan naman, isda galing sa huli ni Tio Pono, isa rin sa mga katiwala namin sa bukid whose other source of livelihood is fishing kapag wala nang masyadong gawain sa bukid. We insisted on paying for them pero ayaw nila tanggapin. Minsan, kung sino pa ang tinutulungan namin, sila pa ang mas generous, giving us anything that they could give sa mga tanim-tanim nila. Nothing is more humbling of an experience than this. I pray i-bless din sila ng Panginoon a millionfold sa generosity nila. ❤
Disclaimer: Mahaba-haba itong post na ito at hindi ko alam kung kailan ulit ako makakapost. 🙂
Nabanggit ko sa nakaraang blog post na magso-social media hibernation ako as part of my personal prayer and fasting, but I thought mas maigi sigurong sumabay na lang ako sa mid-year prayer and fasting sa church, which will most likely fall in July siguro.
Because the pain I mentioned in that article is, I think, my cue already to schedule a doctor’s appointment asap. Though I have no other symptoms, it may have been just part of my PMS since I just had my period yesterday.
But just so I have peace of mind, I am planning on getting a medical checkup tomorrow. Kaya nitong nakaraang linggo, panay research na ako ng anything related to breast cancer from PhilHealth’s Z Benefit package, the YAKAP program, palliative care, at marami pang iba.
As someone with OC tendencies, I have a knack for organizing stuff. I love details, and details love me back. Unlike Math. It just doesn’t love me back. Hays.
Sa sobrang dami nga lang nitong mga nahanap ko, hindi ko na tuloy alam kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin. lol Seriously though, ito na ‘yung sinasabi ng mga breast cancer patients and all patients in general na sobrang exhausting and draining, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ang magkasakit. Andami mong aasikasuhin at iisipin. Siyempre, magastos din at goal ko na huwag magagalaw ang savings at huwag manghingi o manghiram ng pera.
So now, I am putting ChatGPT to the test again, kung kaya niyang i-synthesize lahat ng info na makukuha niya sa mga screenshots na ito na plan kong i-upload lahat sa isang prompt lang. Para mas comprehensive ang guide pero simplified and coherent version. Magagawa kaya ito ni ChatGPT? 😀
Acceptance As A Pathway To Peace
By the way, kasama na sa ginawa ko ang last love letter to my family na isi-send ko sa husband ko and sa family ko. It included steps on what to do kapag terminal stage na or palliative care here at home pati ‘yung sa insurances, medical and burial assistance, cremation, etc.
I also added a DNR (do not resuscitate) request if ever i-rush pa nila ako sa hospital, and that I prefer a 1-day wake and prayer vigil only. Yep, I am a nonconformist – I don’t follow cultural norms and traditions all the time. I also and always question the status quo, but I am very compliant naman with God’s laws. 😀
Ganyan ako mag-ayos ng mga bagay-bagay because I just love to plan. Pero syempre ni-remind na naman ako ni Lord na many are the plans of man, but it is God’s purpose that will prevail. I already planned everything kasi ayoko maging burden sa lahat ng aspeto sa loved ones ko when I get sick. Sobrang stressful on their end kapag wala kang habilin, and itong ginawa ko will make decision-making easier for them. Actually, for execution na lang talaga sya.
Right now I am doing a lot of mind conditioning for myself and si husband ay inuunti-unti ko na din. Kasama na din sa ni-research ko kung paano kapag hindi tanggap ng loved one mo ang terminal diagnosis mo, kasi siyempre dadaan din sila sa stages of grief at bawat tao may kanya-kanyang way and timeline to cope with a terminal diagnosis and eventually loss of a loved one.
ChatGPT Does It Like No Other
Now, let’s move to the fun part ng article kasi ayoko ito maging super heavy. Speaking of ChatGPT, ‘di ba nga ni-try ko ipa-edit ang 2×2 ID photo ko na gawin niyang bald dito sa article na ito kasi gusto ko lang makita how I’d look without any hair on and nag-malfunction siya. So, ni-try ko ulit kasi syempre favorite natin ang persuasion. Bumigay din si ChatGPT, and I was stunned by the result.
Kasi sabi ko lang sa prompt, eh breast cancer warrior ang babae, kaya dapat ang aura ay confident na sort of mala-women empowerment. Ayun, sinamahan na niya ng quotation sa gilid. O ‘di ba, winner talaga.
Parang gusto ko na magpagupit ng ganito next week. lol Ang galing na talaga ng AI mang-convince. 😀
Mission accomplished na sana, kaso napansin ko na sa unang photo na na-generate niya, ang laki ng ulo ko (mayabang daw ako sa tingin ni ChatGPT). Sabi ko kay ChatGPT, “Witchikels, sakit na breast cancer lang po ang meron itong babae, hindi po kasama ang hydrocephalus.” huhuhu
Naubos ang image creation limit ko (up to 5 only sa free version ng ChatGPT) dahil pinapabago ko ang poses pati ang details sa background at sa outfit.Para lang ma-achieve itong “Crazy Rich Asian” na datingan ng photo na ito. Pero kapag ako talaga ‘yan, “Crazy Asian” lang. lol
Sabi ko, i-adjust niya ang size ng ulo ng babae para mag-match sa body build niya. In fairness, nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ang tamang edits, and the photos above are the best results. At dahil natuwa ako sa resulta, na-curious ako kung ano kaya kung pagawin ko naman ang tousled crop look.
Hindi ko muna pinagamit ang 2×2 ID photo ko at baka magka-hydrocephalus naman tayo. Sinabi ko lang na Asian woman, and I included my basic facial features, i.e., heart-shaped face, chubby cheeks, dark brown hair, etc. At ang resulta ay maeenganyo ka talaga gayahin ang mga suggested looks ni ChatGPT. Galing, noh?
Kaya next prompt ko kay ChatGPT eh i-apply na niya sa picture ko ang hairstyle na ito. And voila, the AI-generated images look so posh, hindi na pinalaki ulo ko. Humble na daw kasi uli tayo. I styled this look and mga poses at nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ‘yung bet kong concept.
The top has to be pink, kasi ‘yun ang universal awareness color ng breast cancer. Although this will not be the first time kasi noong high school ako, I sported this short hairdo – part of my rebellious teen era, which I am not proud of, by the way.
Siyempre, dahil nag-e-enjoy tayo kay ChatGPT, umiral na naman ang creative side, kaya simula sa crew cut hairstyle na napunta sa tousled crop hanggang sa nilagyan ng headband, tapos ang ending ay fashion styling. At siyempre, background si Mt. Mayon. Slay ba, mga ‘teh? 😀
Bet na bet ko itong may headband na scarf. Although ‘di nga masyado nakuha ni ChatGPTeksakto ang sa prompt ko kasi ang instruction ko sa kanya na nasa left side ng leeg ang knot ng scarf para sa mas edgy look.But I still love this look.
❤ Chinitang Bicolanang Fashionista ❤
‘Yung ganitong aura-han actually keribels siya kapag nasa UP Diliman ka. I wouldn’t think twice about wearing this while inside the Diliman campus; normal lang doon makakita ng mga extreme—nakapambahay na getup like bagong gising at nakasuot lang ng shorts, t-shirt, and tsinelas kasi late na sa klase at meron ding may nakatakong ng almost 1 foot na. Seryosooooo?!?!
Siyempre joke lang ‘yung 1 foot, basta mga very unique choices. We celebrate freedom of expression and creativity sa unibersidad, basta siyempre hindi offensive sa ibang tao. Kumbaga may limit pa din naman.
I would love to wear this here in Bicol sana, but most likely, I’ll be getting a lot of stares. Baka matawag pa tayong Disney Princess na galing sa Maynila. Or worse, nepo baby. Nepopotamus po siguro, pwede naman. Pero maganda rin mag-social experiment. Malay natin the mindset has shifted already, given na madami na gumagamit ng internet and social media.
I’ve already been seeing a lot of photos of brave women who shared their post-chemo and surgery pictures nila, because of breast cancer. I joined breast cancer support groups, by the way, on Facebook in 2023 after Mom passed away because of breast cancer. And one of these beautiful breast cancer warriors is Ms. Cams.
Her photos are BEAUTIFUL. She has a very pretty face (Coleen Garcia look-alike), but there is something about her aura that exudes confidence and a quiet strength, which makes her even more beautiful. And if ever ganito rin ang pagdaanan ko, gusto ko rin ng ganitong photos. Though for me, dahil nurturer ako, and I am ready to go na talaga, parang gusto ko alagaan si cancer, and I will just let it grow. lol
Waiting On God’s Will And Instructions
Seriously, death is only terrifying when we are not yet ready to go. And we will only be ready to go when there is peace in our hearts because of the following truths:
we have been saved by the Cross
we know that this world is only temporary
we believe we will see and will be reunited with our loved ones again, together with God, in the new Heaven and new Earth
we have faith that life in eternity is waaaaaay better.
I have this quiet resolve that whatever the diagnosis, whether I have stage 1 or stage 4 cancer, whether I have months or years to live, my perspective about death will never change – it is nothing to be feared, and it is an answered prayer. Why answered prayer? Who wouldn’t want to be with God in a place where everything is perfect? 😀
But then again, this is my wish. But what if God has another plan? Kasi meron ding desire sa puso ko na, if ever I have cancer and God wants me to survive it, I really want to be a volunteer patient assistant/coordinator/navigator. Nga lang, volunteering will require a lot of resources, time, and manpower. Kaya ang prayer ko kay God na bigyan Nya sana ako ng different sources of income that will give me more autonomy when managing my time, so I can still volunteer on the side.
May isa kasing incident noong 2023 sa isang Facebook group ng mga breast cancer warriors na hanggang ngayon hinding-hindi ko nakakalimutan. I shared an infographic from the Philippine Society of Medical Oncology about how to get treated kapag na-diagnose ng breast cancer, at may isang matandang babae who PMed me kung pwede ko daw syang samahan kasi 68 years old na sya and walang available to assist her.
I really would love to say yes, kaso at that time, I am still grieving over my Mom, and from Batangas sya tapos nasa Pasig City ako. Tsaka marami pa akong hindi alam about navigating through a breast cancer treatment as a patient. Pero naawa talaga ako sa kanya, ang sakit sa puso na I had to decline her request.
Marami pa akong need matutunan, like, paano ba ang sistema gaya ng pagpila kung ia-avail niya ang mga free treatments na ino-offer sa ating mga pampublikong ospital. Kaya sa tingin ko, kung mag-positive ako sa breast cancer and kahit ayawan ko ang medical treatment dahil siyempre stubborn ako, pero doon at doon din ako nili-lead ni God, I have no other choice but to obey in the end.
Sabi ko sa asawa ko na dito ko preferred sa Bicol magpa-checkup o magpagamot if ever. Tingin ko, lalo akong mase-stress sa traffic sa Manila, plus the metropolitan pollution might aggravate my allergic rhinitis at bababa ang immune system ko lalo.
Mas madali rin sa akin mag-commute via public transportation dito sa Bicol since plano kong mag-isa ko lang lalakarin ang lahat kasi gusto ko talagang matutunan kung paano ang pasikot-sikot ng sistema. At para malaman kung ano pa ang puwedeng ma-improve sa sistema to make it easier and more convenient sa mga kapwa pasyente.
Sa kaka-research ko, ang dami kong nahalungkat, pati ‘yung uso daw na mga kabitan sa medical field. Anyare algorithm at nasama ito sa research ko. Paki-explain please. Or else, off with your head, too. lol
Caring For The Community
Hindi ako most likely makakapasa as indigent, pero ang gusto kong tulungan kasi ay galing sa group nila. Hindi sa akin prob ang pumila nang mahaba kasi siyempre graduate ako ng University of Pila. Like ‘yung dito sa SMMG Medical Plaza sa Bulan na pipila sana ako ng mga 3am para kumuha ng slot para sa ultrasound ni Dad at every Saturday lang schedule nila.
Kaso, pag-research ko sa Fb, gabi pa lang na mga 10pm, pumipila na sila, tapos 35 lang daw ang slots, tapos 4am pa lang, puno na. I was shookt mga ‘teh. As in shakening shakening like that.
And yet, I am very GRATEFUL. Why?
May 35 na mga taga-Bulan ang nabibigyan ng serbisyong medikal gaya ng ultrasound bawat linggo. 35 na pasyente na ang nakatipid sa pamasahe para pumunta sa karatig na bayan at doon magpa-ultrasound. 35 na pasyente ang hindi bumyahe nang malayo o gumastos para sa pagkain nila.
Samantalang 10 years ago, marami ang deprived ng mga serbisyong pangkalusugang ito na, sadly, nakakadagdag sa mortality rate sa town. Kaya hindi na kami pumila, para ibigay na lang ang slot para sa mas nangangailangan na taga-Bulan. Dad can still travel pa naman at may sasakyan para comfortable ang byahe nya.
And another reason to be grateful is that may cardiologist na din sa Bulan, si Dr. Clarisse (Hi, Dra.!), Dad’s new cardio. She’s the first cardiologist, if I am not mistaken, in Bulan. We don’t have to go to Sorsogon City para sa follow-up checkup ni Dad every 3 months since kailangan ng close monitoring ang heart condition ni Daddy dahil 86 years old na sya and may Stage 5 CKD din.
Kaya hanga talaga ako sa mga doctors to the barrios and other health practitioners na mas pinili na manilbihan sa mga komunidad na malalayo sa kabihasnan. Hindi biro ang calling na ito, and it requires a lot of sacrifices. Sila na ang lumalapit sa mga komunidad para hindi na bumyahe nang malayo ang mga pasyente.
Parang ito ang counterpart ng Gurong Pahinungod, ang volunteer teaching program ng UP (w/ monthly stipend naman) na gusto ko rin sanang salihan, but I am only one, ang dami kong gustong gawin, and yet I cannot do everything. 😀
An Advocacy In The Making
Going back to BC cancer support groups, naghanap din ako kung merong breast cancer support groups sa Bicol sa Facebook. So far, Albay lang ang meron. Gusto ko gumawa din for Bulan or sa Sorsogon Province. Para mas madali ang breast cancer education para ma-raise ang awareness and ma-break ‘yung social stigma nila about having the illness or the medical treatments, in particular ‘yung chemotherapy kasi takot malagasan ng buhok or ‘yung mastectomy.
Isa sa nakikita ko na challenge ng mga galing dito sa Sorsogon ay ang transportation. Puwede magamit ang old Innova namin panghatid-sundo sana para sa lahat ng mga breast cancer patients sa Sorsogon if sa Sorsogon, Legazpi, or Naga pupunta. Need ko lang ng volunteer driver, kasi ayoko mag-drive when there are so many things running in my head tas sa pang-gas hanap pako ng magdo-donate, although may nakikita na akong prospect. 😀
Kausapin lang namin ang doktor namin kung puwede pare-pareho ang schedule ng appointments namin. Puwede kaya ‘yun? Sabihin ko, maggi-girl bonding kami sa ospital. Siyempre, maganda rin sana may free food and accommodation, especially if ang iba mag-u-undergo na ng treatments and traveling long distances nang tuloy-tuloy, e hindi advisable.
At kung indigents ang tutulungan, kahit basic needs salat sila, kaya hindi talaga nila priority ang pagpapagamot. Actually, if ma-diagnose ako with breast cancer, mag-a-agree lang ako to get medical treatments para ang libreng gamot na makuha ko, ibibigay ko sa breast cancer warrior who has young kids and ayaw na ayaw pa niyang mamaalam sa mundo because nafi-feel niya na madami pang pinapagawa sa kanya si Lord.
Altho sa accommodation, meron na akong nakikita din na host na possible can help us out. Kung nasa Manila ako, mabilis sana mag-organize ng ganito kasi ang mga friends ko doon, lalo na noong mga young professionals pa kami and single, ‘yung tipong kahit last-minute na invite para sa isang volunteering event, e go kaagad ang mga ‘yan.
‘Yung mga biglaang PM na “Hey girl, you free this weekend? Tara, volunteer tayo. No worries sa transpo and supplies, konting add na lang sa ganito ganyan.” 😀
Nga lang, feeling ko kami ‘yung mga grupo ng mga pasyente na maiingay kapag nasa ospital na. Kapag nakarinig kayo ng malalakas tumawa, alam na this. Siyempre, good vibes dapat, lalo na kung ang ibang pasyente e sobrang bigat talaga ng pinagdadaanan.
‘Yung tipong gusto ko silang biruin ng “Manay, huwag kang matatakot. Gusto mo sabayan kita papunta sa kabila. Pero syempre hatid lang kita. Kontratahin ko muna si Lord na bigyan ako ng return ticket. Kasi madami pa akong ia-assist sa Earth kaya need kong bumalik.”
Tapos bigla akong sinakal ni ate, noh, sabay sabing ayaw pa niyang mamaalam. Kaya ‘wag din basta-basta magbiro. Piliin ang tamang oras at tamang salita.
When God Plants A Dream
Pero honestly, ito talaga ang rason kaya nagkaroon ako ng hospice dream. I want patients to die with dignity because not all of us are privileged enough to die comfortably and surrounded by loved ones. Kahit man lang sa huling sandali, we give them the peace and comfort that they need lalo na kung hindi naman kayang mapunuan ang need na iyon sa bahay nila.
Right now, priority ko muna ang makapagpa-checkup, and I will let God lead me from there. Kaya ngayon, siyempre “ging-ot is life” muna ang motto natin. Panay gulay-gulay ang kinakain ko, kasama na ang 1 glass a day ng ni-blender na fresh malunggay leaves na may halong kalamansi, carrots, and cucumber. Being healthy means eating as much fiber and getting as many nutrients as you can.
Gaya nitong pinya sa aming bakuran. Benta ko sa inyo ng 300 pesos. Syempre, infleshun is realz. So yaaas, buy na plith. May kasama namang flying kick, este flying kiss ‘yarn. Joke lang, pang-garden-to-table lang po itong mga pinya namin.
Na hindi ko pa alam ang tawag. Sabi ko sa ate ko, ‘“Di ba Mariposa ito?” Sagot nya, “Ha? Butterfly kaya ‘yang mariposa.” Sagot ko, “Ay lam ko na, Hermosa tawag dito.” ‘Di na nya napigilan tumawa kasi apelyido daw ‘yun. Kaya to the rescue na si Daddy, Formosa pala tawag dito sa pinya namin sa bakuran. Maliliit pero super tamis.
Maganda din itong gawing smoothie. Parang kasing smoothie-fied ng mukha ko. Itong Oppo Kopong Kopong ko kasi pinagmumukha akong 20 years old sa filter nya. Buti pa si ChatGPT e pinagmumukha talaga akong 40 years old.
I-normalize natin ang bacon neckline of pambahay clothes because why not.
Wala po akong makeup dyan or anything. Kasi noong pumunta ako sa Watsons, nagpa-assist ako sa sales lady. Sabi ko, “Miss, anong compact powder kaya bagay sa akin kasi ang dami kong tan lines. Iba kulay ng mukha ko, iba din sa leeg, iba din sa braso, iba din sa kamay, tas iba sa binti, at iba din sa paa. Alin susundin natin?”
Tumawa na lang si Ate pero feeling ko gusto niya akong sagutin ng “Ma’am, bumili ka na lang po ng Johnson’s Baby Powder.”
Ayun, Johnson’s Baby Powder na nga lang talaga binili ko kasi naawa naman ako kay Ate sales lady. Hirap na hirap kasi siya pabalik-balik kakahanap ng magma-match sa zebra stripes ko. Mamaya hindi ko rin magamit kasi ayoko magmukhang nag-chinchansu.
Ayun lang po. End of the story na tayo kasi ang haba na nito. 99.9% na-convinced pala ako ni ChatGPT doon sa tousled crop look, kaya i-te-test ko one of these days ang predictive ability ni AI, na even without any 3D facial recognition involved, ang resulta ng tunay kong haircut ay tulad ng suggestion niya.
Kung hindi tugma ang resulta sa expectation, eh talagang hihingi na ako kay Lord ng sign kung will ba talaga Niya that I survive or exit na sa Earth.
Sabi ko kay Lord dapat ‘yung sign na ipapadala Niya ay kapag ang UP Diliman ay naging UP Liwanagan. ‘Yun, sure talaga ako na sign ‘yun na gusto pa Niya akong maghasik ng katatawanan sa mundong ito.
Siyempre joke lang ulit. Iba ang calling sa akin ni Lord na ihasik at ito ‘yun:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” – Luke 4: 18-19
I ordered this last week and got it yesterday.The random Bible verse listed under the container was God’s clearest sign.
Please pray for me and all those who are sick, and for God’s will to be done always. ❤ And don’t forget to smile and laugh always. 😀
P.S. May nahanap pala akong bagong playlist ng mga worship songs na papakinggan at Filipino Christian artists sila. Please do subscribe to their channel to show your support. Ang gogondo ng mga kanta nila. ❤
I also found these scholarly journals and research on the role of spirituality in the healing and recovery of patients with breast cancer. I am praying that more research will be conducted on this topic here in the Philippines, including Filipina breast cancer survivors as respondents. I volunteer as a respondent, if ever, and pwede rin akong mag-research assistant. Basta, wala lang computation. lol
Just Sharing – My Unusual Energy Of Other-Worldliness:
I slowly integrated Torti, our twenty-something-year-old male turtle, into our garden. It looks like he is nestled in quite comfortably.
This is one of the baby fruit bats that have been falling off the house’s roof vent as the heat index here in our town reaches 48 degrees Celsius. The effects of (super) El Niño on our wildlife will be critical. I pray for these creatures that they will survive.
This dragonfly has entered my bedroom, probably to cool itself down from the scorching heat outside. It breaks my heart that these little creatures will be the first to go when the effects of climate change worsen in the coming years. 😦
There was one time that I asked God, “Lord, why is it that I feel like I experienced so many things in just 40 years, things that I think I should experience for the entire 80 years or a lifetime?”
I never got a direct answer. Though I had my assumptions: 1) I am not to live long in this world, or 2) They are all part of God’s alignment towards His greater purpose.
Or it could be both. 😀
Lately, I’ve been contemplating the brevity of life after experiencing a radiating pain between my left armpit and breast that comes and goes. The first thing that came to my mind was: “Could this be breast cancer?”
I am now 40 years old, which means a yearly mammogram is recommended, given our family’s breast cancer history. My maternal grandma had a lumpectomy and lived with no recurrence until she was 94 years old.
My Mom had a mastectomy when she was also in her 40s, but had a recurrence, and we lost her at age 76 in 2023 due to stage 4 or metastatic breast cancer. Neither of them pushed through with chemotherapy at the onset of their diagnosis.
I just forgot to ask Mom’s oncologist (one of the best in Bicol), Dr. Louis Mervyn Leones, what type of breast cancer Mom had. TNBC (Triple-Negative Breast Cancer) is the most aggressive type of breast cancer with a high recurrence rate.
On my father’s side, we also had a grandma (my paternal grandpa’s sister) who passed on due to breast cancer. I am the only one among my sisters and me who’ve never undergone a mammogram, although I had an executive checkup in 2024, which included a breast ultrasound. And the results turned out negative, I was all clear.
When Health Becomes A Priority
I had that executive checkup because I’ve been getting UTIs frequently, sometimes every other month. And I am on antibiotics often, which is not good, by the way, as far as developing antibiotic resistance is concerned.
My allergic rhinitis also worsened, and I kept on getting nosebleeds often to the point that I was prescribed by my ENT doctor a maintenance medicine, and other medications to lessen the inflammation. Although one of her suggestions is a change in the environment, if I have the option to do so. That means living somewhere else since something in the condo might be triggering my allergies.
While the antihistamine she prescribed relieved me from the symptoms, such as a clogged nose, especially during the night, one of its side effects is brain fog. Dealing with this side effect is challenging for me because I do a lot of creative thinking in my work as a writer and a marketing professional.
After doing my research, I also found out that prolonged use of the medication is not advisable, as this can increase depression and agitation. So by 2022, after my husband resigned from work, we decided to come to Bulan and live here for good.
It also came in timely because in June 2023, Mom was confined and passed on in August of that year. This allowed me to help my siblings take care of her while she was at the hospital. Things didn’t pan out the way my husband and I planned, so my husband decided to work abroad, which didn’t work out, either.
But he’s now back in the country and working in Manila. I chose to stay here for 2 reasons: Manila might not be a healthy place for me to live in anymore, and Dad and my sister will need extra help here at home, as we are also going through a lot of transitions.
How God Leads In Preparing
Going back to the pain, I also thought it could be perimenopausal symptoms or back pain. But I also thought that maybe God is reminding me to have that yearly mammogram. Yes, Lord, I haven’t forgotten, but thank You for reminding me always.
I am planning on having it sometime in the last quarter of this year, after consulting with an ob-gyn, because we are very busy right now. And I am also in the process of preparing funding sources just in case the results aren’t favorable.
Although praise God, He’s given me lots of options already. I am also in the process of creating systems for the tasks here at home. In case I decide to get treatments, it will be easy to delegate the tasks that I’ll be leaving to my siblings or our house help.
If the results of the mammogram turned out positive, it would also affect the kind of employment opportunities that I should take on. I am currently organizing everything depending on what the result will be, so to speak.
Although, to be really honest, I am 90% decided to go for palliative care because I refuse to go through any medical treatments. I think I got influenced by Dr. Emanuel, although I am not going to wait until I am 75 years old. lol
If ever I meet with an oncologist, it’s only for the purpose of managing the symptoms, particularly in terms of pain management. Unless my doctor is very good at persuading, but persuading just happens to be my strength also. So, let’s see who will persuade whom. lol 😀
This is actually one of the reasons behind a dream to build a hospice at the farm, God willing. It is to provide patients with another option should they decline continuing medical treatments and opt for palliative or hospice care instead.
I already asked ChatGPT to create a feasibility study and a business plan, and it’s got potential and looks promising. This is a huge undertaking, though, and would most likely involve partnering with an institution to make this happen.
This is what Mom would’ve wanted, a choice that we couldn’t give to her because she’s already very sick at that time, and taking her out of the hospital will increase the possibility of her dying sooner. She might not even last 24 hours after we leave the hospital. We were able to care for her (intensive care since she’s on a ventilator already) for 2 months at the hospital after finding out the doctor’s diagnosis.
Sabi ng isa sa mga nurses na nag-attend kay Mommy, si Mommy daw ang pinakamatagal na pasyente na na-confine sa buong history ng ospital noong time na andoon kami. And that is the irony, because Mom actually hated hospitals, and she had a white coat syndrome. 😀
When God Meets Us Where We Are
Going back to my predicament, I’m still not dismissing the idea that maybe God has another plan for me, and He wants me to get treated because the experience is part of His will for my life. What I have mentioned above are all my plans and wishes.
And I can be very stubborn sometimes (or most of the time) na kung pwede lang mag-Bikol si God, malamang sa malamang ang sasabihin Nya sa akin: “Tin, minsan gud talaga dianison ka man taphudon.” hakhak 😆
I remembered one time when Mom told one of her doctors that her children have very strong personalities. I was in the room when she said that, and I couldn’t help but laugh because it’s very true.
Ah, yes, those moments with Mom at the hospital were all an eye-opener for me. In fact, when her oncologist told us about the diagnosis and prognosis, I thought I’d tell it to her in the way that I know best – through writing.
Since today is Friday, I just reminisced about everything that happened in the last 40 years of my life. I was born in Bulan and lived here until I was 16 years old. Then, from 2002 until 2022, I lived in Manila before coming back and living here in Bicol again.
Looking back, I am extremely grateful to God for all of the opportunities He opened for me, all the awesome people I have met, and all the wisdom I have learned from the experiences, good and bad.
I have zero regrets, and in fact, I always tell God that 40 years old is already a good age to die. Because God provided me with everything I have needed and wanted, I accomplished everything that I set my heart out to do, and I am already content.
I also don’t have kids, and my husband is back on track in his career and thriving by God’s grace. I feel like I am ready to go any time.
But just like what Lagertha said in the video I shared in this article: “But who knows what [God] has in store for us, Ragnar. Who knows what [God] has in store for us.”
As what was written in Ecclesiastes 3, “there is a time for everything.” When I was in Manila, it was a time of so many experiences, a lot of moving around. This time, I think God is asking me to slow down, settle down.
I don’t know if this is a journey that is about to end, or if this is the start of yet another journey. Or it is time to be on an eternal journey with Him.
All I know is that when God moves and asks us to move, too, go to a new place, or give up some things, we have to obey even if we don’t understand why and even if it makes us uncomfortable or it becomes unsettling.
Because in the end, in our surrender, God is worthy of it all. He will always be worthy. ❤
Here are some Bible verses to help us get through difficult seasons that we are experiencing in our lives, in our society, and in our world now:
Strength and Courage
Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Peace and Comfort
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Healing and Renewal
Jeremiah 30:17: “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord.”
Isaiah 40:31: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Trust and Refuge
Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” – Psalm 32:8
“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.” – 2 Corinthians 4:8
P.S. I asked ChatGPT to recreate a photo of mine and change my hair to bald because I wanted to see what I look like without any hair. ChatGPT just sort of malfunctioned and kept coming up with a notification that it can’t process my request at the moment. lol So, I thought I’d just look up that very memorable moment of the UP Pep Squad when they won their 3rd championship at the UAAP Cheerdance Competition. I wasn’t able to watch it live because this happened in 2012, and I was doing my master’s thesis back in UP Diliman during this time, which I wasn’t able to finish because life got in the way. Madaling pumasok sa UP Diliman, mahirap lang talaga lumabas. 😀 But I was born-again in 2013 (my biggest milestone in life), and I was able to get my teaching license in 2016 because of the units I earned in my graduate study.
The hair is a woman’s crowning glory. But these pretty cheerleaders made a bold and bald move, going against society’s dictates of what “beautiful” meant – and the glory was given back, as champions. 🙂
SY 2011-2012: Hanapin ang sobrang naiiba at nakakaiyak na grade – the one and only. Gaaah, why does Math hate me so much??? Partida, nag-removal exam na ako nyan ha. lol Saklap much lungs. 😀
P.P.S. Since it’s the weekend, you might want to read some of the articles below just to give you an idea of some of the things that transpired during the last couple of decades in my life. I might go on social media hibernation because I plan on having a prayer and fasting just to seek God’s leading on everything that’s going on. To give you a heads up, though, most of these articles run on 1,000 words and above. 😀
To answer the question, I think we have to ask every creative in the entire universe if this is a truth or a fallacy. 😃
But if true, I will most likely be a creative night owl. My creative hours usually start from 10 PM until the wee hours of the morning. That’s why working on a night shift isn’t much of an adjustment for me.
This is me making sure I don’t wake up the cats at 2 AM when I have my lunch break. lol
The Life of the Night Owl
I must say though that I still have to prepare my body to stay awake during these hours because if my mind is still very active past my bedtime (12 NN), I can go on without proper sleep for how many consecutive days even without help from caffeine and still function like a normal being.
Most of us in the family are light sleepers. I did my research on this and the medical term for it is “Short Sleeper.” I do feel a bit sleepy, especially around 4 or 5 AM or when I am having my monthly PMS. I just feel a little light-headed, but I still have the same energy to do things at work and around the house.
Can Melatonin Help?
I’m just concerned about the long-term effects on my body if I don’t get enough sleep, so I thought taking melatonin pills might help. I did a little bit of research on melatonin because I am turning 40 this year, so I am watching out for perimenopausal symptoms (I have none so far) and anything that could alter my hormones and activate the sleeping cancer cells in my body (breast cancer genes are dominant on both sides of my parents).
I read that taking melatonin pills is relatively safe although I’d still have to ask my doctor when I have my yearly executive checkup to make sure it is okay for me to take them. They do help me get my uninterrupted 8-hour slumber during the day though, especially when everyone’s up and about, and the ‘normal universe’ is all wide awake.
Prepping The Bedroom
Preparing the bedroom so your circadian rhythm won’t be interrupted is very beneficial, too. Blackout window curtains are a big help, and also make sure that your room is cool enough and soundproof. I bought a pair of earplugs from Shopee, and they really do the job of blocking all the noise, even the loudest ones. A white noise inside your room (like an electric fan running) can also drown out the noise outside.
This small room, by the way, used to be the maids’ quarters back when we were kids and when we had two stay-in yayas. 😀 I just converted it into my WFH office/sleeping area (thanks to my Ate and our stay-out yaya for helping me) because this is the only room in the house that is soundproof and stays cool throughout the day even when the midday sun is blazing hot. I don’t want to use an air conditioning unit because I have allergic rhinitis, and the cold, dry air aggravates the symptoms.
The After-Work Routine
It took about 2 weeks for me to fully adjust to being awake for the entire night until 7 AM. After the end of my shift at work, I go out of the house and get a dose of Vitamin D from the sun, walk around the house and the garden, feed our pets, pick Blue Ternate flowers for my morning tea, eat breakfast, and do some errands and other household chores.
By the way, speaking of strolling in the garden, remember this Gumamela plant I talked about in this post? Well, here’s the bud I mentioned in that article. It bloomed exactly during Dad’s 85th birthday 2 weeks ago. 🙏😍
I teased Dad that I thought it was Mom greeting him with a “Happy birthday.” Because true enough, the day after Dad’s birthday, the flower wilted already.
Is this you, Mom? 🌻🥰
It’s always a pretty sight to see the morning dew on Mom’s flowersand plants. ❤️
This Is How I Exercise At Home As An Introvert
Waking up Her Royal Fluffyness. 😹
Feeding Them Pets: Say “Hi” to the new members of the Ginete Pet Tribe – Whitey and Ten-Ten from the avian family. 🐥🐓 Torti is their new neighbor because I had to transfer him temporarily in the poultry cage while I find the time to make his prototype turtle cage because vermins just love stealing his food.
Checking the fence of the chicken’s forage areafor any damage from the rats. The madre de cacao fence posts have new leaves already – no need to replace them later on as they becomenew trees.
Helping my sister and our stay-out yaya monitor the growth of our plants in Mom’s garden. This is the root crop area – a new garden project of me and my sister. 🙏 And that’s my white shadow right beside me. 😹
And then your yaya will just tell you that you have a bleeding arm because you’ve been too busy doing stuff around the house and you barely noticed the scratches. 😅
This is what I love about working at night – I get to enjoy the night sky full of stars and the crisp, cool evening air during my break time and while quietly strolling in our garden, but still get to witness the break of dawn and see the rays of sun slowly creeping through the windows.
🎶 ‘Cause you’re a sky full of stars. 🎶
A quiet, evening walk – just me and my shadow. 😃
Timmy, The Black Sentinel: This is my shadow, actually. Because when I’m out in the garden at night, he would follow me around on alert mode sort of like wondering what must be wrong for my Fur Mom to be up and about when everyone’s asleep. lol
Why is the sun called “Mr. Sun?” Why not “Mrs. Sun?” lol 🌞
The only downside about working at night is scheduling your errands because some shops and offices won’t open until 9 AM, and I should be asleep by 11 AM. I’d have to thank my favorite delivery service here in our town because I get to delegate some tasks to them such as going to the market, buying prescription medicines, and ordering from our restos if I am already too tired to do these errands myself. Thank you, Moonride Delivery – I give you five stars for your awesome service. ⭐️
By the way, as an introvert, I enjoy working from home and being at home all the time. Today is my rest day, but I am still here at home writing and doing something “creative.” lol So yes, you’ll see me in my pambahay clothes often. And they are usually tattered and stained most of the time. Not because I am too stressed to care, but because I love wearing pambahay clothes like that.
I guess I will never be the embodiment of pasosyal and I have nothing against those who are because it’s a matter of personal preferences and choices. 🙂 But of course, if I have to dress up for the sake of looking decent, you can count on me to play the part. Just inform me ahead of time because it will take me about a week to plan my wardrobe for the occasion. lol
Because we need to look human in our meetings. 😁
It’s 5:50 AM as of writing, and it’s Sunday, so it’s my turn to cook our breakfast and then watch the online church service afterwards before heading on to Slumberland. Until my next post, beloved readers. ❤️
My Sunday Prayer
“But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. You are my strength, I sing praise to You; You, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.” – Psalms 59: 15-17
What started initially as a quick visit to the Globe Store at SM City Sorsogon ended up with me commuting via public transportation to Legazpi City and getting lost there. lol Nope, I wasn’t really lost. I know exactly where I’m going, all thanks to Google Maps. Let’s just say it’s my first time commuting to Legazpi City and exploring places there alone.
And if I sound like I’m speaking with such naivety, that’s because I led a very sheltered life while growing up here in Bicol. I only got to explore different cities when I studied in Manila during college and lived there during the latter half of my adult years until just recently when I came back to Bicol to live here for good.
It looks like God wanted me to explore Bicol this time, and He’s starting with the major cities in the region. Naga City is just too far from where I live now. But an aunt of mine (Mom’s sister) lives in Naga, so we still get to explore the city every time we visit her and her family.
By now, you are most probably wondering what really happened while I was in Legazpi City. Let’s start first with what exactly happened that prompted me to go there and stay there for the night all unplanned. For someone like me who is a planner, this was a very unconventional move and required all the courage (and guts?) in me. lol
The decision came easy though. As a risk taker, my mindset is that I have to accomplish what needs to be done. And if I need to act fast, then I will have no second thoughts about it. Equipped with my life verse (Philippians 4:13), this was how I ventured out into the streets of Legazpi City with just a small bag with me.
I only informed my husband because if I told my family, I know they wouldn’t allow it (I love you, guys 😁✌️). I was also doing the errand on my husband’s behalf. It was for his postpaid plan renewal with Globe.
We renewed it online, but it wasn’t successful. Our attempts to talk to customer service online were also unsuccessful, so I just decided to pay a visit to the Globe Store in SM City Sorsogon. But to my dismay, they already closed their branch in this mall.
So I searched the net for other Globe Stores near the area. I do found a couple of them, but they’re all in Legazpi City. I then went to SITEX, looked for a UV Express going to Legazpi City, and asked if they pass along Pacific Mall. It’s just an hour’s ride from Sorsogon City to Legazpi City, just the same as if I’m traveling to my hometown (Bulan) from Sorsogon City.
Why did I choose Pacific Mall? Because I was planning to hit two birds with one stone and make the best out of my unplanned trip to Legazpi City. First is to look for the regional office of DFA in Pacific Mall because I am already way overdue for my passport renewal. Second, I’m planning on attending one of the church services of Victory Legazpi when I’m in the city, and the church happened to be in Pacific Mall, too.
Unfortunately, when I got to Pacific Mall, I was told by the lady guard that the Globe Store already closed during the pandemic. So, I just searched for the DFA office and I was overjoyed to see that Victory Legazpi is just beside it. It was mission accomplished for me for these two objectives.
DFA and Victory Legazpi in one frame.
But as for my main objective, I still have to find a Globe Store in the city. SM Legazpi is next on my list which is just a couple of blocks away from Pacific Mall. I rode the tricycle from Pacific Mall to SM Legazpi and paid 35php for the fare (dear Albayanos, kindly advise me if I’ve been scammed lol).
When I got to SM City Legazpi, I finally found a Globe Store, and they were able to assist me with my request on behalf of my husband. Though I didn’t expect the plan renewal process to take about 4 hours. I arrived around 2 in the afternoon. By 5 pm, I already decided to search for nearby hotels where I could spend the night since I didn’t want to come back to get the phone that came with the postpaid plan.
I asked the UV Express when I boarded it en route to Legazpi what time usually is their last trip and the driver told me it’s around 7 pm. I will be a buzzer-beater if I’m going to make it to the last trip, and I don’t want to unleash my Kraken at the Globe Store so they can speed up the renewal process. lol The customer service representative who assisted me also suggested I can do other errands while waiting.
Mt. Mayon doesn’t want to be seen from SM City Legazpi’s food hall. Enough with the hiding and show yourself already. 😀
It’s a good thing I found a nearby hotel right away that fits my budget and inquired over the phone if they had an available room for that night. The receptionist informed me they still had 1 room left. The hotel is also less than 5 minutes away from SM City Legazpi.
By around 6 pm, I was done with the errand at Globe Store. I decided to just take out food for my dinner and eat it at the hotel, and buy my toiletries and clothes that I’ll be using and wearing the next day. It’s my #1 rule to never stay out late at night when in a foreign place and you’re alone.
When I got to the hotel, the only room available had 2 twin beds. It didn’t really matter as long as I had a safe and cozy place to stay for the night. The room was also clean and smelled nice.
It’s my first time to stay in a hotel alone, too. 😀Tired but happy and grateful for God’s leading, protection, and provisionas a first-time commuter in Legazpi City. 🙏I slept like a log the entire nighton both beds without rearranging them. I’ll let you try to figure out how I did that. Hint: my head’s on one bed and my feet on the other bed. lolPeace and I’m outzzzzzz.
Though I think the bathroom’s floor needed a little bit of extra cleaning, and the shower fixture is also broken. You can’t use the shower at night, too, because the water pressure is not strong enough so I requested a pail and tabo. And they gave me a pail that looks like they use it to clean their floors. 😁✌️
The bottles for the shampoo and body wash were also empty, so I requested a refill, which they did right away. They also didn’t give me toothpaste and a toothbrush upon checking in, but I didn’t bother asking because I won’t use them anyway since I already brought my own.
I do love their lounge area though. They offer free water from their hot and cold water dispenser. But if you want to drink coffee, you need to pay 20php. You can also use their WiFi for free. I also appreciate the staff for being accommodating enough to assist me with my requests. It’s a budget hotel, so I wasn’t really expecting much except for a clean and safe place to stay near the malls. Overall, I’d still give my stay at the hotel 4 stars out of 5. 👍
Lounge AreaI’m not a coffee lover because it keeps me wide awake at night.But if I have nothing much to do the next day, a cup won’t hurt.Jamaican Pattie and greens for bfast because why not. 😀You can see SM City Legazpi from the hotel. Nope, not that blue, small roof. SM can’t be that small. lol
By the way, the public transport terminal is located just beside SM City Legazpi. So if you’ll be commuting via public transportation going to and coming from Legazpi City, it’s best to find hotels within the area. When I checked out from the hotel at 11 am, I went straight to SM City Legazpi. And I found out that that day, November 13, was also the first day of screening for the movie “Hello, Love, Again” starring Kathryn Bernardo as “Joy” and Alden Richards as “Ethan.”
Since it was still early and I didn’t want to wait at the UV Express terminal for other passengers bound for Sor Ci, I decided to watch the movie and got the 12nn slot. The queue at the ticketing booth was already a bit long when I lined up at around 11:30 am. I was expecting this to be a blockbuster movie, so I thought it’s best to watch it during a weekday and during the mall’s opening hours to avoid long queues.
The movie ran for 2 hours and ended at 2 pm. Ah yes, all I can ever say is that I am giving the movie a 10/10 rating because the storyline was excellently delivered, and the details were carefully drafted. I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it yet.
The early birds for the highest grossing film in the history of the Philippine cinema.Here’s my tip if you feel like crying over a scene, focus on the other details of the movie except for the actors’ faces. Believe me, it works. lol
By the way, it’s also my first time to watch a movie alone, so yes, this spontaneous trip to Legazpi City was full of “firsts” for me. But the experience was truly memorable, remarkable, and definitely one for the books. It looks like God has been ticking off items on my bucket list that I never even listed down, but God knows I needed them. lol I guess, they were and are part of His plans.
Please excuse my puffy, morning face. I just need to take a photo of this bright, yellowbathroomsink because it goes well with my blue outfit. 😀
Legazpi City is on its way to building more healthcare facilities, which means being able to cater and offer extended healthcare services to more Bicolanos. Sorsogon City also has its very first Cancer Treatment Center. The development of these projects is currently ongoing. And I have a strong feeling this advocacy that God has called me to take part in has something to do with them. But while waiting for these projects to be completed, God is allowing me to get to know the community first. And get to know them really well.
I believe it isn’t a coincidence that I was called to live here in Sorsogon City, which is in-between Bulan and Legazpi City. All these three places will play key roles in God’s plans for the local communities in the coming years. Ah yes, sometimes God’s plans can be too overwhelming to decode. And yet it is not our purpose to know His plans, but it is His will for us to act on the tasks that He asked us to do. Even if it means going on an unplanned and spontaneous trip to a foreign city all by yourself. 😀
And because the spontaneity in Legazpi City was a positive experience for me, though I also feel it was God’s calling, I plan on doing a staycation in the city on my birthday this year. But this time, it’s planned. And this will also be the first time that I’ll be celebrating my birthday alone (I am spending the holidays with my family).
Next year, I am hoping to celebrate my birthday with patients who can’t be with their families during the holidays just to help spread the holiday cheer. So, I am currently on the lookout for opportunities that will allow me to do this. I guess this is the calling of being born three days ahead of Jesus Christ. 😉
I still have a lot of places to explore in Legazpi City, and I might plan a solo backpacking trip to tourist sites in the area some other time. I still have to pray about the idea of solo backpacking though because my first concern is my safety. I also don’t want my husband and my family to worry.
And speaking of prayer, oftentimes, it is the Spirit who urges us to go someplace else and somewhere far, so we can be alone and pray in peace. Jesus did this several times in the Bible, and sometimes He’s gone for several days. It looks like this is the perfect way to end this year and before I get busy with the holiday celebrations – a deeper contemplation on what was and what will be and yet still be grounded with the present on what God wants me to do now.
How do you plan on spending this year’s holiday season? I hope and pray that you still have time to do some quiet reflection amidst the busy holiday preparations, parties, and gatherings and get to contemplate God’s calling and purpose for you and your family next year and the years to come. He is the reason for the season, anyway. 🙏
“Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” – Jeremiah 29:7
P.S. I guess it isn’t a coincidence that the land that God has brought me in this season is called “The Land of Kasanggayahan” or “The Land of Prosperity.” 🙂
There really is something about September that makes you want to wake up only when it has already ended. There’s just too much happening at the same time. Kind of chaotic, too, but in a good way. 😃
First, I had to transfer apartments, but still in the area. My sincerest gratitude to my landlords for assisting me with everything I needed though I am a total stranger.
Another good thing is that it turned out to be in my favor – the space is way bigger than my previous apartment, so I now have a designated office area. Again, just in time for online work requirements, too. Ah yes, ain’t God so awesome?
And the new apartment came with a bonus, too. The previous tenant posted printed copies of Psalm 23 on some of the walls – a beautiful reminder that God is always with us. 🙏
I pray this home will be a temporary sanctuary for those who are looking for spiritual and physical healing, peace, and comfort. 🙏Pink theme for this month in celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and in memory of Mom’s fight against breast cancer. 💗
Oh, but wait, there’s more. God indeed prepared this place ahead of time for His purpose. My Dad had a health concern that prompted him to visit a doctor in our hometown and was advised to undergo several lab tests and see a specialist here in the city. He was able to rest in the apartment along with my sister in-between the tests and consultations. Then, he’ll be coming back for his follow-up checkup on the 26th.
And after a year, we’re back. And nope, that’s not my Dad beside me in this photo.
I don’t know what’s with SMMGH, it’s now becoming a family favorite. 🤔
Although the diagnosis wasn’t good, I trust God that He has already prepared what we will be needing. The apartment is also just one ride away from Sorsogon Provincial Hospital and nearby hospitals. I am now actually getting more comfortable with hospital visits, I might consider living in a hospital next. Who’s with me? Anyone?
Be careful with what you wish for, Tin, or you might actually get it. 😅
And then a post from Bayanihan Knitted Knockers Philippines popped up in my Facebook newsfeed out of the blue. Ah yes, it was God’s reminder of one of the reasons why He brought me here to Sorsogon City along with the other advocacies/endeavors that He has placed in my heart. I know that it is not a coincidence that He reminded me of it during this month, which happens to be the Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
YouVersion Bible Daily Devotional
No, Lord, I haven’t forgotten at all.
And I am continuously working on them, although I think God has worked these plans out already. It’s just a matter of obeying Him when He finally instructs to execute these plans according to His perfect time. 🙏
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28
This song gave me the LSS, it’s stuck in my ears for a couple of weeks now. I think God has a message for us all through this song. I already got mine. 🙂
The comeback of the Platypus Tin and the Platypus smile. You might say, “Oh, but I thought you were Yellow Tin Tuna?” Uhm, I’m actually anything in the Kingdom Animalia. So, maybe in my next post I’ll be Jellyfish Tin. I wonder how I’d look like. But I’ll give you a clue – how someone looks when they’re jealous. 😆
P.S. This is not related to the article, but I find it too cute not to share here. Below is the link to a video of an adorable little girl, and her cuteness overload will surely warm your heart. Gah, why so pretttttyyyyy, baby girl? Paglilihian kita. 🥰♥️😍
P.P.S. The Kasanggayahan Festival is also starting on October 14. It’s going to be my first time attending this event, and I am just so happy that the apartment is just a block away from the Sorsogon Capitol grounds where most of the city’s special events are being held. ❤
It’s good to be back home – home is indeed where the heart is. Because I left my heart in Sorsogon. 😉🥰
What I love about being here in my hometown is that I only need to travel for 5 minutes if I need a seascape breather and another 5 minutes if I need a nature break at the farm – just the best of both worlds. Bulan also has one of the best sunsets. ♥️Bulan’s version of the Spanish Armada. 😃
I rested for a couple of days after I got home because traveling for 18 hours by land (got stuck in traffic in Manila & in Ragay, Cam Sur) can be physically tiring. Though I must say God is always full of surprises. DLTB’s newest lazyboy bus is called Stallion Express.
When I booked my bus ticket online, I can’t help but laugh. The Stallion Express is just so fitting because my surname is “Ginete,” which is pronounced as “hinete.” “Hinete” is the Spanish term for horse jockey. So as a horse jockey, I rode a stallion (w/ wheels) going home. lol 😅
DLTB’s Sorsogon Bound Stallion ExpressInaantay ko nga na sana magkaroon ng Unicorn Express kaso baka byaheng langit naman sya. lolPhoto Credit: Sorsogon 101 Facebook Page
The entire trip was very comfortable though. The Stallion Express did not fall short as far as convenience and comfort are concerned. I love this bus because I have the option to choose the single seat allowing me to sleep comfortably because I don’t have a seatmate.
Photo Credit: Sorsogon 101 Facebook Page
The comfort room inside the bus is also clean though I used it only once because I’m claustrophobic. So I still use the public toilets during stopovers. The seats can also be reclined in full, and the leg rest is just perfect for short people like me.
I haven’t tried using the toilet while the bus is moving. Photo Credit: Sorsogon 101 Facebook Page
So, why take the bus and not the plane going home? It’s because I don’t travel light every time I go home. 😃 If I take the plane, I will still have to take the bus from Legazpi City to Bulan and that would be another 3-hour trip. Transferring my heavy bags will be too much of a hassle.
I took the shuttle from Sorsogon City going to our hometown. But the trip was shorter, and the shuttle terminal is also at SITEX where I got off coming from Manila.
The time to rest was mandatory – my infection albeit mild constantly serves as a reminder to me to be more mindful of how I spend my day and what I eat. I would’ve gone back to my multitasking unicorn self after I got back if I was 100% healthy.
I also got the result of my urine culture and sensitivity test from St. Luke’s BGC. I am thankful the result showed no growth, which means no bacteria was found in my urine sample. But it also means something else is causing the infection and the mild inflammation somewhere in my abdomen.
Praise God for tele consultations, it’s now easier to schedule an appointment with a doctor. I am using the Now Serving app because they have more specialists compared with KonsultaMD. I have no symptoms so tele consultations are more suited for cases like mine or those who want their lab tests interpreted.
I am praying my ob-gyn tomorrow will be able to identify the cause of my hematuria and come up with the right treatment to clear the infection. 🙏 These are the moments wherein God reminds me to be intentional in everything that I do or say keeping in mind the brevity of life.
It’s as if every hour that I spend should be meaningful. I now appreciate moments spent with my Dad and my siblings even more making sure I’m creating more happy memories with them than bad ones. This season is teaching me to slow down and appreciate the mundane and simple things in life – those that truly matter when you start recalling your past.
At dahil naalog ang utak ko sa byahe, mag-Filipino naman tayo dahil hindi pa kaya ng brain cells ko mag-straight English. lol May mga pagkakataon na tinatanong ko si Lord if it is necessary I share what I am going through. And His answer was, “yes.” I had to share my journey at baka makatulong din sa iba na similar ang pinagdadaanan and makapagbigay ng karagdagang impormasyon na mapapakinabangan nila later on.
Itong season ng pagaantay na ma-clear itong infection gives me the opportunity na mag-realign ng mga plano. Adjustment period ulit pero ang priority na ay ang health.
At malaking factor sa healing ang positive outlook and sunny disposition sa buhay aside sa faith. So what makes me happy? Isa sa mga nagpapasaya sa akin dito sa bahay ay ang mga alaga naming mga muning, which are all rescued cats, by the way. 🙂
Me to Tippy: “Uhm Ma’am, closing time na po kami. Ang viewing time po namin ay from 8am – 5pm lang po.” 😆Polly: “Mum! Stop being a catto paparazzi. It’s so annoying.” 😅When sleep is L-I-F-E-R.
Mga prabens cats hindi marunong gumamit ng scratch tower. 😆 Thanks, Kuya and Heather, for this pretty pasalubong! ♥️Ang overweight Meowmy ang kinapoy makipaglaro. lol
And as always, music heals the soul. I was browsing the internet para sa mga acoustic covers at na-discover ko na meron palang musical instrument na guitalele. It’s a ukelele that has 8 strings like a guitar. Curious ako sa sound nya and how it’s played. This might be next on my list of musical instruments na ita-try ko. 👍
Then I stumbled upon this duet cover of Michael Buble’s Everything na tinugtog ko din kahapon sa gitara. I fell in love with this song a couple of years ago pero cover lang din ang una kong napakinggan by Joseph Vincent and Alexa Yoshimoto. Nalaman ko later on na lang na Michael Buble originally sang it pala. Huli lagi sa balita ang mga divergents and nonconformists kasi hindi mahilig sumunod sa uso. 😆
The best duet cover of “Everything” for me.
When God reminds us to rest, we rest. Every second is just too precious. Let’s enjoy life while we can – live with purpose and make good memories. And keep the good fight of faith always. ♥️🙏
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” – Acts 20:24
Indeed, God sent “angel companions.” Today’s Our Daily Bread devotional got me teary-eyed after adjusting quite well to living solo for 2 weeks. There are times when I still miss my Mom or my husband.
I also got the results of my Executive Checkup and while I was happy that my breast ultrasound result (my primary concern) came out clear, my blood test, pap smear, and urinalysis results showed I still have an infection in my body though I’m asymptomatic. It looks like the kind of bacteria from my UTI last December is resistant to the antibiotics previously prescribed to me.
I clearly and seriously need to do some diet modifications. Oh rice, I’m going to miss you big time.
So I thought it would be best to get a urine culture test tomorrow but at St. Luke’s BGC because they post lab results in their online portal for patients. I’m bound for Bicol on Tuesday, so I will no longer be able to claim the result in person. Once I get the urine culture test result, I’ll schedule a tele consultation appointment with an ob-gyn so she can interpret my pap smear and urine culture test results side-by-side.
By the way, I haven’t used my KonsultaMD free subscription yet, and it’s going to end in June. It looks like God intended it for this very purpose. Ain’t His timing just always perfect? 🙏😊 I plan to consult with a couple of ob gynecologists on the platform and compare their recommendations. If my infection still doesn’t clear up after taking a stronger dose of antibiotic, most likely something else is causing the inflammation or the bacteria is just extremely resistant.
I also would like to find out why is the bacteria resistant to the usual antibiotics prescribed for UTIs, and how I got the bacteria. It could be because I have a very weak immune system (my immune system is compromised), I have an autoimmune disease (lupus maybe), or I’m just overthinking. The last one is most definitely true. 😂
I am just grateful and glad that God already sent “angel companions” to guide me in this season of prioritizing my health before anything else. Some of them are the healthcare professionals who assisted me during my Executive Checkup. I was also surprised to find out that my ob-gyn at Healthway is also my age, and she is also from UP. Noong nakausap ko kasi sya re work, I mentioned na graduate ako ng Literature. She asked from what school. Sabi ko sa UP. Tanong nya ulit ay kung sa Diliman daw ba. Sabi ko, yes. And she said na sya naman ay from UPLB noong undergrad. And I think this explains why we share the same sense of humor – “UP” stands for “University of the Palatawa.” lol Hi, Dra.! 😊
Kailangan din mag-ayos paminsan para hindi masyadong halata ang pagiging otherworldly natin.Btw, my predictions are right – I gained weight while I’m here in Manila, and I’m now 2 kgs overweight according to the doctors.lol
Who among you here is 30-something years oldlike me, but doesn’t have flabby arms? Kindly raise your hand. So I can check if you’re lying. 😂
I highly recommend getting Healthway’s Executive Checkup package (especially if you’re approaching the great 4.0 milestone) because the entire process was a breeze. I finished most of the tests including the initial assessment of a primary physician in just 2 hours or so. And super extra thanks to Sir Jerold, the Patient Care Coordinator, for being the epitome of grace under pressure while assisting me. 👍👍😊
The Executive LoungePinili ko talaga itong Executive Checkup package ng Healthway dahil sa free meal nila kasi PG ako. Kaya tayo nago-overweight. My favorite BLT Sandwich. 😍
I was actually due for a repeat urinalysis during my checkup at St. Luke’s BGC last December. But I thought maybe it would be better to just have an executive checkup before I go home. It would be easier this way for the doctors to rule out what could possibly be wrong with my body and which part needs medical attention. I also got to save time, money, and energy by not having to go back and forth to the clinic just in case doctors request additional tests.
Mga 100 pages lang naman ang resulta na aaralin mo. lol I’m just kidding. It has a summary of all the tests you had, and if you need the individual reports, you can find them in the back partincluding the graphs and the photos.
Mga 1 liter ng dugo ni-extract sa akin and I was like, “Uhm Nurse, are you draining the life out of me?” 🤣 Okay, it’s also another joke, so don’t be scared. lol Don’t forget to put a cold compress afterwards so it wouldn’t turn out like this. I keep on forgetting, that’s why I’m black and blue…and green?
Right now, I’m still not dismissing the possibility of getting tested further as requested by other “angel companions” in Bicol. But just like the song by Jordin Sparks played over at the mall when I went to Healthway, “One step at a time, there’s no need torush. It’s like learning to fly or falling in love. It’s gonna happen when it’s supposed to happen. Then we find the reasons why one step at a time.”
Alam ko kinanta mo rin sya. lol 😂 I am ending this article on a happy note. Because the mild inflammation is all I have to worry for now. And yet if ever it becomes serious, I believe God has already sent His “angel companions” ahead of time, so I can rest my worries.
Please still include me in your prayers for healing and a safe journey going home. 🙏 I’m sending hugs and lots of love to you and your loved ones as well. Be safe and stay healthy, my friends. And always have a grateful and joyful heart. ♥️😊
“God will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” – Psalm 91:11
God sure knows when to reinforce my calling (a long-term goal and possibly a retirement project) lest I get distracted and focus on other things. I stumbled upon this article from The Gospel Coalition a couple of days ago, and this is exactly what I needed for the hospice project I am planning to propose to my siblings. I thought I’d share it here as well to help those who are going through a similar situation. 🙏
I recently lost a dear friend to cancer. She’d struggled with treatments and recurrence for years, and when her doctor finally said the heavy word “hospice,” she and her family were neither surprised nor despairing. As Christians, they drew comfort from the assurance she’d be with the Lord after she took her last breath (Rom. 14:8; 2 Cor. 4:17–18).
And yet, although my friend embarked on her hospice journey with full acceptance, none of her family was prepared for the tumult of emotions her final days incited. They trembled and choked back tears when she bolted upright in agitation. When she no longer responded to their voices, they nursed the ache of loss. Throughout, they struggled to reconcile the grim realities of death with the mother, sister, and wife they so cherished.
Families with loved ones in hospice all too frequently weather such storms. As the wages of our sin (Rom. 6:23), death is by nature harrowing, even when anticipated. We weren’t meant for death, and those of us who encounter it often struggle with lingering grief, confusion, and regret afterward, especially when it steals away someone we dearly love.
With a million and a half people in the U.S. receiving hospice care annually, many families will walk this troubling road, suffering doubts and heartache along the way. How do we shepherd caregivers and families as they aim to love the dying? How do we walk with them through the valley of the shadow of death, reminding them all the while of the Good Shepherd whose love covers them when the light dwindles (Ps. 23:4)?
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝘀
Misunderstandings about hospice abound and contribute to the pain families bear. Many people equate hospice with “giving up” on a loved one. Others confuse it with physician-assisted suicide and euthanasia. Still more have an accurate idea of hospice but can’t bring themselves to say goodbye to someone they can’t fathom living without.
To clarify, hospice care seeks to minimize pain and suffering at the end of life among those with terminal illnesses. A multidisciplinary team, usually comprised of physicians, nurses, social workers, chaplains, and health aides, provides medical care as well as spiritual and social support with a focus on symptom control and quality of life, rather than on cure. Although we often associate hospice with cancer, the most common qualifying diagnoses are severe dementia, emphysema, and heart failure.
For people with a life expectancy of months, hospice services often begin as regular home visits from nurses, social workers, and home health aides to ensure patients are stable and comfortable. As the illness advances, support increases, and eventually the dying require continuous care at the bedside and frequent doses of medications to ameliorate pain, anxiety, and air hunger. In the home, this care often falls to loved ones, which can be emotionally traumatic. In such circumstances, a hospice house, where staff nurses monitor patients 24/7, may be a better alternative.
People can only receive hospice services if they have a life expectancy of six months or less. Such patients, after consultations with doctors they trust, accept that further interventions for a cure would be futile (e.g., a cancer has metastasized to other organs and treatment options have run out). In hospice, medical care continues, but that care shifts to focus on lessening symptoms rather than eradicating the disease.
Studies suggest that rather than indicating caregivers have “given up” on patients, this shift in care can actually increase the life expectancy of terminally ill patients for up to three months. In our highly technological medical system, accepting the inevitability of death has a clear, measurable benefit.
It also has a biblical precedent. Although Scripture directs us to honor life (Ex. 20:13), it also reminds us our times are in God’s hand (Ps. 31:15). Like the grass of the field, we wither and fade (Isa. 40:7–8); until Christ returns all of us will succumb to death (Rom. 5:12). When we deny our mortality and chase after treatments that don’t promise cure, we dismiss God’s grace in Christ and the power of his resurrection. Christ has transformed death, swallowing it up in victory (1 Cor. 15:54) such that, as the Heidelberg Catechism aptly states, it’s no longer “a payment for our sins, but only a dying to sins and an entering into eternal life.”
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝘀𝗻’𝘁
While hospice reflects biblical teaching, the same can’t be said for euthanasia or physician-assisted suicide (PAS). Families facing hospice for a loved one may confuse these practices, especially given the terminology of “Medical Aid in Dying,” or MAiD, now adopted in Canada and used in the U.S. with increasing frequency. While in hospice, death occurs secondary to an underlying illness, in MAiD, terminally ill patients seek medical means to deliberately end their lives.
In euthanasia, for example, a healthcare provider administers a lethal dose of medication––often an injection––on a patient’s request. Similarly, in PAS, doctors prescribe a dose of pills for a patient to take on his or her own. In both cases, the “aid in dying” isn’t symptom support but rather a lethal dose of medication.
As the legalization of PAS has steadily increased in the U.S. over the past 20 years, it’s crucial to understand its distinction from hospice. In hospice, the aim is to alleviate suffering from futile or excessively burdensome measures. People can “graduate” from hospice; if a patient unexpectedly improves and is no longer deemed terminal, clinicians rejoice and hospice services are discontinued. PAS, by contrast, involves the active taking of another life with the explicit goal to end it, and it violates God’s Word (Ex. 20:13).
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁
The knowledge that hospice care aligns with biblical teachings can provide solace to families. Yet even with this consolation, watching a loved one die can be crushing. Many families embark on this journey with confidence, only to find the unsettling details of dying overwhelm them.
The following common changes may occur when death is near, which may trouble those at the bedside:
As a dying person’s organs shut down, 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝗱 to remove excess acid from the bloodstream. As such breathlessness worsens anxiety and fatigue, nurses will administer a narcotic (usually morphine) or a sedative to help slow the breathing. Intestines shut down as death nears. 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗲, and although loved ones may worry about starvation, forcing them to eat or drink leads to vomiting or abdominal cramping. In the setting of dehydration close to death, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗱𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸. Hospice care workers provide moist mouth swabs to counteract the discomfort. 𝗔𝗴𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘂𝗺, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 are common near death and can be especially upsetting to witness. In the mildest cases, patients will see people from their past, which may alarm onlookers. In the most distressing, the dying will suddenly panic or lash out at others with cruel insults. Clinicians give medications to calm patients and avoid such outbursts, but when they do occur, delirious patients’ words can deeply hurt those they love. In such moments, we can reassure families that death affects the mind as well as the body and that their loved ones are unaware of their actions. Agitation near death reflects the disease, not the patient’s true thoughts and feelings. People 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 as death nears. However, in the days to hours before death, some suddenly awaken and carry on clear, coherent conversations. Called “𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗶𝘁𝘆,” this phenomenon is poorly understood but well documented and can confuse loved ones who mistake the sudden clarity for clinical improvement. A good approach is to treat these moments as gifts from the Lord, offering loved ones a final glimpse of the person they’ve treasured. Even when the dying are unresponsive, evidence suggests 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿, with their brains responding to sounds as distinctly as do awake, healthy individuals. This can provide families with enormous comfort, as it means their loved one may still hear and understand their words. Encourage families to speak to their loved one, to read Scripture, to pray aloud, and to sing hymns and favorite songs. Such connection can provide much-needed closure and solace to the living, and minister lovingly to the dying. In the last 24 hours, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗶𝘀𝗵, especially in the hands and feet. This is normal and signals the circulatory system shutting down. The last few hours of life are often marked by 𝗱𝘆𝘀𝗿𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. People will breathe deeply and rapidly for several breaths, then not breathe at all for up to two minutes. Secretions pooling in the airways also create an unsettling rattling sound with each breath. Additionally, relaxation of the vocal cords can produce a sound similar to moaning, even in the absence of discomfort. While these changes are upsetting to witness, at this point patients are unaware of their surroundings and unlikely to experience suffering. 𝗛𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝗘𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀
In addition to the troubling realities outlined above, families of hospice patients may wrestle with questions about the faith and salvation of their loved one. If a loved one isn’t a believer, relatives may urge nurses to withhold sedatives, clinging to hope for a deathbed conversion. If a loved one has proclaimed faith, moments of agitation may raise doubts about the sincerity of that profession.
While their heartache is understandable, to withhold medication and incur unnecessary suffering is neither loving nor compassionate. As solace, we can point families to the thief on the cross (Luke 23:39–43), whom Jesus invited into his kingdom as he was dying. We can reassure them that the Holy Spirit can work in someone’s heart regardless of their capacity for language or cognition, and the Lord can bring all he wills to himself (Eph. 1:3–7). The good news of the gospel declares that salvation depends not on us but on God’s grace––and he can turn every heart he wills from stone into flesh (Ezek. 36:26).
Above all, when families walk alongside a loved one in hospice, they show him or her, as well as surrounding caregivers, the character of Christ.
To abide with another through death is to love in the sacrificial, soul-weary way our pierced Savior loved us first (Matt. 26:38; John 13:34–35; 1 John 4:19). It’s to weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:15) and to bear another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2). It’s to offer a loved one a tangible reminder––perhaps with a hymn heard through the shadows, perhaps with a gentle touch––that God’s love endures forever (Ps. 107:1) and that, in Christ, nothing––not even death––can pry his beloved away from his grasp (Rom. 8:38–39).
For me, goodbyes are always sad. That’s why tonight, I can write the saddest lines.
Today marks my first day being separated from ze husband. While packing his things inside his luggage, I offered to make him a pretty ribbon as a marker for his luggage just like what I did with mine. But he gently declined my offer telling me that his luggage was fine just the way it is. I guess my unicorn luggage is too pretty for him. 😅
One is going out of the country, the other is going out of town.
Nope, I am not afraid to live alone. I was single for 2 years and lived alone in our old apartment in Quezon City before I met my husband. I was passionately serving God and the church during that time I haven’t given singleness much a thought. I was, in fact, enjoying it.
But as we all know it, God called me to be a wife. Eight years later, here I am living alone again as the wife of an OFW. It’s only for 2 years though. But a lot can happen in 2 years. Adjusting also doesn’t come easy as I’ve gotten used to having my husband around for 8 years.
What I am afraid of now is that I’d get too comfortable living alone given that I’m an introvert and have an affinity for solitude. I’m very comfortable being alone, but I also crave human connections every now and then.
I do love to hang out with a few closest friends and stay up late talking about shared interests. But my default social circle, whenever I am transferring homes, is the church, so connecting with Victory Sorsogon is one of my priorities when I get back home.
I still have to wait for 2 weeks though before I can pack my bags and head home. I was scheduled to have my executive checkup on the 21st and 22nd of April. I just want to make sure I am 100% healthy before I go back to my multitasking, unicorn self. 🦄
When It’s Hard To Understand, Just Trust God
I am never the type who asks the “why me” question to God when I don’t understand the circumstances around me. God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-8). Neither does God expect us to understand the circumstances around us, but He wants us to trust Him completely despite the uncertainty. And yet I can’t help but wonder why God called my husband to work in the Middle East as a nurse when wars are rampant there. Why there?
Just the day before my husband’s flight this morning, Iran initiated missile attacks against Israel. All the flights in the Middle East were canceled and flight operations were suspended, but they also resumed a couple of hours later. My heart sank after hearing the news. I couldn’t sleep well for the past few nights. Why now, Lord? But then, God reminded me about Queen Esther in the Bible and how God chose her for “such a time as this.”
Our Daily Bread Daily Devo
In between our sobs and hugs, I told my husband that we have to stand firm in our calling even if we have to make sacrifices, just like what Queen Esther did. We go where God calls us to go, and we serve those whom He has called us to serve. We may choose not to respond right away because of fear. And we can think that we were able to avoid the responsibility entirely. But the truth is, we are only delaying the calling. The calling will remain until it gets fulfilled sooner or later.
Thus, there is only one response that God requires from us – we obey. Obedience is of paramount importance to God. He measures our faith and our loyalty to Him when we follow Him even if it means our lives are at stake. Not every calling is the same, but every calling will define where we stand with God. Are we with Him or are we against Him?
YouVersion Bible Daily Devo
Different Places, But The Same God
I felt like God wanted me to see our situation now from a bigger perspective. The Middle East is comprised of deserts. Our farm, on the other hand, is comprised of wilderness. Right now, the wilderness and the desert are unfamiliar territories to me and my husband and yet God called us to step out of our comfort zones to serve in these places.
We don’t know what is waiting for us in the desert and in the wilderness. There can be abundance and growth, but there can also be lack and drought. There can be cooperation, or there can be resistance. There can be war, and there can be peace. But one thing is for sure, God is opening doors that He wants me and my husband to enter.
YouVersion Bible Daily Devo
Getting Ready For The New Season
I am beyond grateful that the provisions, guidance, and protection from God are overflowing during this season. Last Sunday, I received another job invitation aside from the ones I received in the previous months. These positions are a bit different from my previous writing jobs.
Job Invite #1
Job Invite #2
These are supervisory roles, too. And yet if God wills it I accept one of these jobs, I know God has prepared and will prepare me well to take on bigger responsibilities alongside my farm duties. All of these opportunities came just in time – I am planning to go back to the workforce, and my previous work experience as a brand journalist and my background in agribusiness will allow me to deliver what the company needs for its business.
Speaking of going back to the workforce, this is also why I need to prioritize my health before starting any job. God is giving me plenty of options to choose from to keep my health in check, and these options are getting better. One of them is the SPOT-MAS offered by The Medical City. I just need to ask my Mom’s oncologist about the difference between the SPOT-MAS and the BRCA 1/2 mutational testing.
The Medical City
Philippine Genome Center
If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while now, you would know by now that I love asking a lot of questions out of my need to learn more so I can make better and informed decisions. And I realized just recently, too, that if you ask way too many questions, sometimes you get a good laugh as an answer. 😅
When I was talking to Healthway Medical’s patient care coordinator about their executive checkup package, I asked how long will it take to finish all the tests. He answered na 7-8 hours daw. I was like, “Whuuuuut? That’s like an entire shift already. ‘Di kaya sa ospital na ang ending ko nyan sa tagal ng mga tests. Mage-extract lang ng dugo, 1 hour ang inabot. Hinimatay na pasyente dahil sa blood loss.” 😂
He laughed so hard when I told him that. I know he was just joking. The tests will only take about an hour or 2. I already got these tests before except for the treadmill stress test, so I already have an idea how they’re done. I was just curious if every clinic has its own protocol when conducting the tests.
I must commend him though for being very accommodating and patient enough in answering all of my questions. And he sure is the right person for the job because he knows how to pacify an anxious patient. I will test this again when he assists me during my executive checkup on Sunday. 😁
Praying for good results. 🙏
Yes, tonight I can write the saddest lines. But I chose not to. Because I am not Pablo Neruda. Obviously. lol How to state the obvious without being obvious? 😄
Seriously, I will remain hopeful for what is yet to come and remain faithful to what is yet to be fulfilled. For now, we continue to rise above the challenges and overcome our fears of the unknown as we answer God’s calling – even if it entails sacrifices, many or few. 🙏
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34
“The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness;..” – 1 Samuel 26:23
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” – James 1:12
The Journeyman's Moments 