Sa Gitna Ng Malalim Na Pag-iisip

Disclaimer: Mahaba-haba itong post na ito at hindi ko alam kung kailan ulit ako makakapost. 🙂

Nabanggit ko sa nakaraang blog post na magso-social media hibernation ako as part of my personal prayer and fasting, but I thought mas maigi sigurong sumabay na lang ako sa mid-year prayer and fasting sa church, which will most likely fall in July siguro.

Because the pain I mentioned in that article is, I think, my cue already to schedule a doctor’s appointment asap. Though I have no other symptoms, it may have been just part of my PMS since I just had my period yesterday.

But just so I have peace of mind, I am planning on getting a medical checkup tomorrow. Kaya nitong nakaraang linggo, panay research na ako ng anything related to breast cancer from PhilHealth’s Z Benefit package, the YAKAP program, palliative care, at marami pang iba.


As someone with OC tendencies, I have a knack for organizing stuff. I love details, and details love me back. Unlike Math. It just doesn’t love me back. Hays.

Sa sobrang dami nga lang nitong mga nahanap ko, hindi ko na tuloy alam kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin. lol Seriously though, ito na ‘yung sinasabi ng mga breast cancer patients and all patients in general na sobrang exhausting and draining, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ang magkasakit. Andami mong aasikasuhin at iisipin. Siyempre, magastos din at goal ko na huwag magagalaw ang savings at huwag manghingi o manghiram ng pera.

So now, I am putting ChatGPT to the test again, kung kaya niyang i-synthesize lahat ng info na makukuha niya sa mga screenshots na ito na plan kong i-upload lahat sa isang prompt lang. Para mas comprehensive ang guide pero simplified and coherent version. Magagawa kaya ito ni ChatGPT? 😀

Acceptance As A Pathway To Peace

By the way, kasama na sa ginawa ko ang last love letter to my family na isi-send ko sa husband ko and sa family ko. It included steps on what to do kapag terminal stage na or palliative care here at home pati ‘yung sa insurances, medical and burial assistance, cremation, etc.

I also added a DNR (do not resuscitate) request if ever i-rush pa nila ako sa hospital, and that I prefer a 1-day wake and prayer vigil only. Yep, I am a nonconformist – I don’t follow cultural norms and traditions all the time. I also and always question the status quo, but I am very compliant naman with God’s laws. 😀

Ganyan ako mag-ayos ng mga bagay-bagay because I just love to plan. Pero syempre ni-remind na naman ako ni Lord na many are the plans of man, but it is God’s purpose that will prevail. I already planned everything kasi ayoko maging burden sa lahat ng aspeto sa loved ones ko when I get sick. Sobrang stressful on their end kapag wala kang habilin, and itong ginawa ko will make decision-making easier for them. Actually, for execution na lang talaga sya.

Right now I am doing a lot of mind conditioning for myself and si husband ay inuunti-unti ko na din. Kasama na din sa ni-research ko kung paano kapag hindi tanggap ng loved one mo ang terminal diagnosis mo, kasi siyempre dadaan din sila sa stages of grief at bawat tao may kanya-kanyang way and timeline to cope with a terminal diagnosis and eventually loss of a loved one.

ChatGPT Does It Like No Other

Now, let’s move to the fun part ng article kasi ayoko ito maging super heavy. Speaking of ChatGPT, ‘di ba nga ni-try ko ipa-edit ang 2×2 ID photo ko na gawin niyang bald dito sa article na ito kasi gusto ko lang makita how I’d look without any hair on and nag-malfunction siya. So, ni-try ko ulit kasi syempre favorite natin ang persuasion. Bumigay din si ChatGPT, and I was stunned by the result.

Kasi sabi ko lang sa prompt, eh breast cancer warrior ang babae, kaya dapat ang aura ay confident na sort of mala-women empowerment. Ayun, sinamahan na niya ng quotation sa gilid. O ‘di ba, winner talaga.


Parang gusto ko na magpagupit ng ganito next week. lol Ang galing na talaga ng AI mang-convince. 😀

Mission accomplished na sana, kaso napansin ko na sa unang photo na na-generate niya, ang laki ng ulo ko (mayabang daw ako sa tingin ni ChatGPT). Sabi ko kay ChatGPT, “Witchikels, sakit na breast cancer lang po ang meron itong babae, hindi po kasama ang hydrocephalus.” huhuhu


Naubos ang image creation limit ko (up to 5 only sa free version ng ChatGPT) dahil pinapabago ko ang poses pati ang details sa background at sa outfit. Para lang ma-achieve itong “Crazy Rich Asian” na datingan ng photo na ito. Pero kapag ako talaga ‘yan, “Crazy Asian” lang. lol

Sabi ko, i-adjust niya ang size ng ulo ng babae para mag-match sa body build niya. In fairness, nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ang tamang edits, and the photos above are the best results. At dahil natuwa ako sa resulta, na-curious ako kung ano kaya kung pagawin ko naman ang tousled crop look.

Hindi ko muna pinagamit ang 2×2 ID photo ko at baka magka-hydrocephalus naman tayo. Sinabi ko lang na Asian woman, and I included my basic facial features, i.e., heart-shaped face, chubby cheeks, dark brown hair, etc. At ang resulta ay maeenganyo ka talaga gayahin ang mga suggested looks ni ChatGPT. Galing, noh?



Kaya next prompt ko kay ChatGPT eh i-apply na niya sa picture ko ang hairstyle na ito. And voila, the AI-generated images look so posh, hindi na pinalaki ulo ko. Humble na daw kasi uli tayo. I styled this look and mga poses at nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ‘yung bet kong concept.

The top has to be pink, kasi ‘yun ang universal awareness color ng breast cancer. Although this will not be the first time kasi noong high school ako, I sported this short hairdo – part of my rebellious teen era, which I am not proud of, by the way.




Siyempre, dahil nag-e-enjoy tayo kay ChatGPT, umiral na naman ang creative side, kaya simula sa crew cut hairstyle na napunta sa tousled crop hanggang sa nilagyan ng headband, tapos ang ending ay fashion styling. At siyempre, background si Mt. Mayon. Slay ba, mga ‘teh? 😀


Bet na bet ko itong may headband na scarf. Although ‘di nga masyado nakuha ni ChatGPT eksakto ang sa prompt ko kasi ang instruction ko sa kanya na nasa left side ng leeg ang knot ng scarf para sa mas edgy look. But I still love this look.

Chinitang Bicolanang Fashionista

‘Yung ganitong aura-han actually keribels siya kapag nasa UP Diliman ka. I wouldn’t think twice about wearing this while inside the Diliman campus; normal lang doon makakita ng mga extreme—nakapambahay na getup like bagong gising at nakasuot lang ng shorts, t-shirt, and tsinelas kasi late na sa klase at meron ding may nakatakong ng almost 1 foot na. Seryosooooo?!?!

Siyempre joke lang ‘yung 1 foot, basta mga very unique choices. We celebrate freedom of expression and creativity sa unibersidad, basta siyempre hindi offensive sa ibang tao. Kumbaga may limit pa din naman.

I would love to wear this here in Bicol sana, but most likely, I’ll be getting a lot of stares. Baka matawag pa tayong Disney Princess na galing sa Maynila. Or worse, nepo baby. Nepopotamus po siguro, pwede naman. Pero maganda rin mag-social experiment. Malay natin the mindset has shifted already, given na madami na gumagamit ng internet and social media.

I’ve already been seeing a lot of photos of brave women who shared their post-chemo and surgery pictures nila, because of breast cancer. I joined breast cancer support groups, by the way, on Facebook in 2023 after Mom passed away because of breast cancer. And one of these beautiful breast cancer warriors is Ms. Cams.



Her photos are BEAUTIFUL. She has a very pretty face (Coleen Garcia look-alike), but there is something about her aura that exudes confidence and a quiet strength, which makes her even more beautiful. And if ever ganito rin ang pagdaanan ko, gusto ko rin ng ganitong photos. Though for me, dahil nurturer ako, and I am ready to go na talaga, parang gusto ko alagaan si cancer, and I will just let it grow. lol

Waiting On God’s Will And Instructions

Seriously, death is only terrifying when we are not yet ready to go. And we will only be ready to go when there is peace in our hearts because of the following truths:

  • we have been saved by the Cross
  • we know that this world is only temporary
  • we believe we will see and will be reunited with our loved ones again, together with God, in the new Heaven and new Earth
  • we have faith that life in eternity is waaaaaay better.

I have this quiet resolve that whatever the diagnosis, whether I have stage 1 or stage 4 cancer, whether I have months or years to live, my perspective about death will never change – it is nothing to be feared, and it is an answered prayer. Why answered prayer? Who wouldn’t want to be with God in a place where everything is perfect? 😀

But then again, this is my wish. But what if God has another plan? Kasi meron ding desire sa puso ko na, if ever I have cancer and God wants me to survive it, I really want to be a volunteer patient assistant/coordinator/navigator. Nga lang, volunteering will require a lot of resources, time, and manpower. Kaya ang prayer ko kay God na bigyan Nya sana ako ng different sources of income that will give me more autonomy when managing my time, so I can still volunteer on the side.

May isa kasing incident noong 2023 sa isang Facebook group ng mga breast cancer warriors na hanggang ngayon hinding-hindi ko nakakalimutan. I shared an infographic from the Philippine Society of Medical Oncology about how to get treated kapag na-diagnose ng breast cancer, at may isang matandang babae who PMed me kung pwede ko daw syang samahan kasi 68 years old na sya and walang available to assist her.

I really would love to say yes, kaso at that time, I am still grieving over my Mom, and from Batangas sya tapos nasa Pasig City ako. Tsaka marami pa akong hindi alam about navigating through a breast cancer treatment as a patient. Pero naawa talaga ako sa kanya, ang sakit sa puso na I had to decline her request.

Marami pa akong need matutunan, like, paano ba ang sistema gaya ng pagpila kung ia-avail niya ang mga free treatments na ino-offer sa ating mga pampublikong ospital. Kaya sa tingin ko, kung mag-positive ako sa breast cancer and kahit ayawan ko ang medical treatment dahil siyempre stubborn ako, pero doon at doon din ako nili-lead ni God, I have no other choice but to obey in the end.

Sabi ko sa asawa ko na dito ko preferred sa Bicol magpa-checkup o magpagamot if ever. Tingin ko, lalo akong mase-stress sa traffic sa Manila, plus the metropolitan pollution might aggravate my allergic rhinitis at bababa ang immune system ko lalo.

Mas madali rin sa akin mag-commute via public transportation dito sa Bicol since plano kong mag-isa ko lang lalakarin ang lahat kasi gusto ko talagang matutunan kung paano ang pasikot-sikot ng sistema. At para malaman kung ano pa ang puwedeng ma-improve sa sistema to make it easier and more convenient sa mga kapwa pasyente.

Sa kaka-research ko, ang dami kong nahalungkat, pati ‘yung uso daw na mga kabitan sa medical field. Anyare algorithm at nasama ito sa research ko. Paki-explain please. Or else, off with your head, too. lol

Caring For The Community

Hindi ako most likely makakapasa as indigent, pero ang gusto kong tulungan kasi ay galing sa group nila. Hindi sa akin prob ang pumila nang mahaba kasi siyempre graduate ako ng University of Pila. Like ‘yung dito sa SMMG Medical Plaza sa Bulan na pipila sana ako ng mga 3am para kumuha ng slot para sa ultrasound ni Dad at every Saturday lang schedule nila.

Kaso, pag-research ko sa Fb, gabi pa lang na mga 10pm, pumipila na sila, tapos 35 lang daw ang slots, tapos 4am pa lang, puno na. I was shookt mga ‘teh. As in shakening shakening like that.

And yet, I am very GRATEFUL. Why?

May 35 na mga taga-Bulan ang nabibigyan ng serbisyong medikal gaya ng ultrasound bawat linggo. 35 na pasyente na ang nakatipid sa pamasahe para pumunta sa karatig na bayan at doon magpa-ultrasound. 35 na pasyente ang hindi bumyahe nang malayo o gumastos para sa pagkain nila.

Samantalang 10 years ago, marami ang deprived ng mga serbisyong pangkalusugang ito na, sadly, nakakadagdag sa mortality rate sa town. Kaya hindi na kami pumila, para ibigay na lang ang slot para sa mas nangangailangan na taga-Bulan. Dad can still travel pa naman at may sasakyan para comfortable ang byahe nya.

And another reason to be grateful is that may cardiologist na din sa Bulan, si Dr. Clarisse (Hi, Dra.!), Dad’s new cardio. She’s the first cardiologist, if I am not mistaken, in Bulan. We don’t have to go to Sorsogon City para sa follow-up checkup ni Dad every 3 months since kailangan ng close monitoring ang heart condition ni Daddy dahil 86 years old na sya and may Stage 5 CKD din.

Kaya hanga talaga ako sa mga doctors to the barrios and other health practitioners na mas pinili na manilbihan sa mga komunidad na malalayo sa kabihasnan. Hindi biro ang calling na ito, and it requires a lot of sacrifices. Sila na ang lumalapit sa mga komunidad para hindi na bumyahe nang malayo ang mga pasyente.

Parang ito ang counterpart ng Gurong Pahinungod, ang volunteer teaching program ng UP (w/ monthly stipend naman) na gusto ko rin sanang salihan, but I am only one, ang dami kong gustong gawin, and yet I cannot do everything. 😀

An Advocacy In The Making

Going back to BC cancer support groups, naghanap din ako kung merong breast cancer support groups sa Bicol sa Facebook. So far, Albay lang ang meron. Gusto ko gumawa din for Bulan or sa Sorsogon Province. Para mas madali ang breast cancer education para ma-raise ang awareness and ma-break ‘yung social stigma nila about having the illness or the medical treatments, in particular ‘yung chemotherapy kasi takot malagasan ng buhok or ‘yung mastectomy.

Isa sa nakikita ko na challenge ng mga galing dito sa Sorsogon ay ang transportation. Puwede magamit ang old Innova namin panghatid-sundo sana para sa lahat ng mga breast cancer patients sa Sorsogon if sa Sorsogon, Legazpi, or Naga pupunta. Need ko lang ng volunteer driver, kasi ayoko mag-drive when there are so many things running in my head tas sa pang-gas hanap pako ng magdo-donate, although may nakikita na akong prospect. 😀

Kausapin lang namin ang doktor namin kung puwede pare-pareho ang schedule ng appointments namin. Puwede kaya ‘yun? Sabihin ko, maggi-girl bonding kami sa ospital. Siyempre, maganda rin sana may free food and accommodation, especially if ang iba mag-u-undergo na ng treatments and traveling long distances nang tuloy-tuloy, e hindi advisable.

At kung indigents ang tutulungan, kahit basic needs salat sila, kaya hindi talaga nila priority ang pagpapagamot. Actually, if ma-diagnose ako with breast cancer, mag-a-agree lang ako to get medical treatments para ang libreng gamot na makuha ko, ibibigay ko sa breast cancer warrior who has young kids and ayaw na ayaw pa niyang mamaalam sa mundo because nafi-feel niya na madami pang pinapagawa sa kanya si Lord.

Altho sa accommodation, meron na akong nakikita din na host na possible can help us out. Kung nasa Manila ako, mabilis sana mag-organize ng ganito kasi ang mga friends ko doon, lalo na noong mga young professionals pa kami and single, ‘yung tipong kahit last-minute na invite para sa isang volunteering event, e go kaagad ang mga ‘yan.

‘Yung mga biglaang PM na “Hey girl, you free this weekend? Tara, volunteer tayo. No worries sa transpo and supplies, konting add na lang sa ganito ganyan.” 😀

Nga lang, feeling ko kami ‘yung mga grupo ng mga pasyente na maiingay kapag nasa ospital na. Kapag nakarinig kayo ng malalakas tumawa, alam na this. Siyempre, good vibes dapat, lalo na kung ang ibang pasyente e sobrang bigat talaga ng pinagdadaanan.

‘Yung tipong gusto ko silang biruin ng “Manay, huwag kang matatakot. Gusto mo sabayan kita papunta sa kabila. Pero syempre hatid lang kita. Kontratahin ko muna si Lord na bigyan ako ng return ticket. Kasi madami pa akong ia-assist sa Earth kaya need kong bumalik.”

Tapos bigla akong sinakal ni ate, noh, sabay sabing ayaw pa niyang mamaalam. Kaya ‘wag din basta-basta magbiro. Piliin ang tamang oras at tamang salita.

When God Plants A Dream

Pero honestly, ito talaga ang rason kaya nagkaroon ako ng hospice dream. I want patients to die with dignity because not all of us are privileged enough to die comfortably and surrounded by loved ones. Kahit man lang sa huling sandali, we give them the peace and comfort that they need lalo na kung hindi naman kayang mapunuan ang need na iyon sa bahay nila.

Right now, priority ko muna ang makapagpa-checkup, and I will let God lead me from there. Kaya ngayon, siyempre “ging-ot is life” muna ang motto natin. Panay gulay-gulay ang kinakain ko, kasama na ang 1 glass a day ng ni-blender na fresh malunggay leaves na may halong kalamansi, carrots, and cucumber. Being healthy means eating as much fiber and getting as many nutrients as you can.

Gaya nitong pinya sa aming bakuran. Benta ko sa inyo ng 300 pesos. Syempre, infleshun is realz. So yaaas, buy na plith. May kasama namang flying kick, este flying kiss ‘yarn. Joke lang, pang-garden-to-table lang po itong mga pinya namin.



Na hindi ko pa alam ang tawag. Sabi ko sa ate ko, ‘“Di ba Mariposa ito?” Sagot nya, “Ha? Butterfly kaya ‘yang mariposa.” Sagot ko, “Ay lam ko na, Hermosa tawag dito.” ‘Di na nya napigilan tumawa kasi apelyido daw ‘yun. Kaya to the rescue na si Daddy, Formosa pala tawag dito sa pinya namin sa bakuran. Maliliit pero super tamis.

Maganda din itong gawing smoothie. Parang kasing smoothie-fied ng mukha ko. Itong Oppo Kopong Kopong ko kasi pinagmumukha akong 20 years old sa filter nya. Buti pa si ChatGPT e pinagmumukha talaga akong 40 years old.


I-normalize natin ang bacon neckline of pambahay clothes because why not.

Wala po akong makeup dyan or anything. Kasi noong pumunta ako sa Watsons, nagpa-assist ako sa sales lady. Sabi ko, “Miss, anong compact powder kaya bagay sa akin kasi ang dami kong tan lines. Iba kulay ng mukha ko, iba din sa leeg, iba din sa braso, iba din sa kamay, tas iba sa binti, at iba din sa paa. Alin susundin natin?”

Tumawa na lang si Ate pero feeling ko gusto niya akong sagutin ng “Ma’am, bumili ka na lang po ng Johnson’s Baby Powder.”

Ayun, Johnson’s Baby Powder na nga lang talaga binili ko kasi naawa naman ako kay Ate sales lady. Hirap na hirap kasi siya pabalik-balik kakahanap ng magma-match sa zebra stripes ko. Mamaya hindi ko rin magamit kasi ayoko magmukhang nag-chinchansu.

Ayun lang po. End of the story na tayo kasi ang haba na nito. 99.9% na-convinced pala ako ni ChatGPT doon sa tousled crop look, kaya i-te-test ko one of these days ang predictive ability ni AI, na even without any 3D facial recognition involved, ang resulta ng tunay kong haircut ay tulad ng suggestion niya.

Kung hindi tugma ang resulta sa expectation, eh talagang hihingi na ako kay Lord ng sign kung will ba talaga Niya that I survive or exit na sa Earth.

Sabi ko kay Lord dapat ‘yung sign na ipapadala Niya ay kapag ang UP Diliman ay naging UP Liwanagan. ‘Yun, sure talaga ako na sign ‘yun na gusto pa Niya akong maghasik ng katatawanan sa mundong ito.

Siyempre joke lang ulit. Iba ang calling sa akin ni Lord na ihasik at ito ‘yun:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” – Luke 4: 18-19



Please pray for me and all those who are sick, and for God’s will to be done always. ❤ And don’t forget to smile and laugh always. 😀


P.S. May nahanap pala akong bagong playlist ng mga worship songs na papakinggan at Filipino Christian artists sila. Please do subscribe to their channel to show your support. Ang gogondo ng mga kanta nila. ❤

https://www.youtube.com/@TindigWorship





P.P.S.

I also found these scholarly journals and research on the role of spirituality in the healing and recovery of patients with breast cancer. I am praying that more research will be conducted on this topic here in the Philippines, including Filipina breast cancer survivors as respondents. I volunteer as a respondent, if ever, and pwede rin akong mag-research assistant. Basta, wala lang computation. lol

“What Does It Mean To Die With Dignity”

“A Systematic Review of Spiritually Based Interventions and Psychoneuroimmunological Outcomes in Breast Cancer Survivorship”

“Spirituality’s Impact on Cancer Treatment Outcomes”

“Exploring The Role of Faith in Survival of Breast Cancer”

“Effectiveness of Spiritual-Based Interventions in Enhancing Quality of Life Among Breast Cancer Patients: A Systematic Review”

“Integrating Prayer and Faith in Complementary Alternative Medicine Into Treating Breast Cancer: Lived Experiences”

“Effect of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Spiritual-Religious Intervention on Improving Coping Responses and Quality of Life Among Women Surviving from Breast Cancer”

“The role of spirituality in improving psychosocial well-being in women with breast cancer: a qualitative study”

“The Role of Spirituality and Religion in Improving Quality of Life and Coping Mechanisms in Cancer Patients”


More Music Videos For The Souls In Battle:





Just Sharing – My Unusual Energy Of Other-Worldliness:

I slowly integrated Torti, our twenty-something-year-old male turtle, into our garden. It looks like he is nestled in quite comfortably.

This is one of the baby fruit bats that have been falling off the house’s roof vent as the heat index here in our town reaches 48 degrees Celsius. The effects of (super) El Niño on our wildlife will be critical. I pray for these creatures that they will survive.

This dragonfly has entered my bedroom, probably to cool itself down from the scorching heat outside. It breaks my heart that these little creatures will be the first to go when the effects of climate change worsen in the coming years. 😦

Tarantula in the house – only in the prabens. 😀

Movie poster concept of Daragang Magayon and Panganoron with Mt. Mayon volcano as a background.

[Part 2] Daragang Magayon Version 2.0: A Love Story Forged In Fire

Because May is being “Mayon-ified,” I thought about creating a movie poster or book cover design for my “Daragang Magayon Version 2.0: A Love Story Forged In Fire” adaptation of “The Legend of Mt. Mayon.”

I first introduced an AI-generated image of Panganoron in the article, “Celebrating MAY-on,” without using a reference photo. I thought I’d let AI come up with its own version of Panganoron, and I just edited some details for the revised image. So, this guy is nonexistent in our world, but maybe he exists in the parallel universe. 😀

Here’s my step-by-step guide on creating the images of Daragang Magayon and Panganoron, which I generated through ChatGPT.


Step 1: Create a character profile (image version) by coming up with specific details for your initial prompts.


Step 2. Recreate Daragang Magayon’s photo and change it to an active combat stance with a gritty expression.


Step 3: Combine these three images to create the movie poster or book cover design template.

I requested ChatGPT to adjust the lighting for this photo.

Step 4: Add the movie or book title. You can indicate which words in the title you want to emphasize, i.e., capitalized, bigger font, font style, etc. Then include other design elements you want to see in your image. In this case, I added the “fire” element around the title.

Design Concept #1 (Dark Theme)

Design Concept #2: I added a headshot of Daragang Magayon since this new narrative is about her. This is a great design concept, but the outline of the Mayon volcano is hidden, and methinks there are just too many details. Is this a yay or a nay? What do you think? 🙂

These are some of the design concepts I came up with, and I am still considering creating more, so there are more options to choose from. But I think the design concept above better fits the new narrative.

Here’s the new image I generated of the heroine and her love interest, which can be used as sort of a “teaser” copy. Though I think it is perfect as a pre-nup photoshoot inspo. lol


Version 1 (Portrait Mode)

Question: Bakit kaya si Panganoron naka-sandals at si Daragang Magayon ay nakapaa?

Answer: Naisip yata ni ChatGPT, para daw kapag tumuga si Mt. Mayon, kakargahin ni Panganoron si Daragang Magayon ala “hokage moves” para hindi mapaso ang paa ni Daragang Magayon ng hot lava.

Ay ambot saimo, ChatGPT. lol

Version 2 (Landscape Mode)

Seryoso na ngani. O di ba, no need umakyat ng Ligñon Hill para sa pre-nup photos nyo. 😀

Once again, ChatGPT just never underdelivers as long as you make very detailed prompts. The results always exceeded my expectations, and I only had to do some minor edits to achieve the designs that I desired.

Aside from the combat stances, I also tried experimenting with other actions, such as “bathing in the river.” In the local legend, Daragang Magayon fell into the river and was saved by Panganoron. This was their first encounter.

Unfortunately, ChatGPT cannot generate exactly what I had in mind about a woman bathing in the river. Or maybe I need to tweak my prompts a bit more. But I am still satisfied with the results.



And I took the left photo above to yet another level to test how far AI can go by asking ChatGPT to incorporate it in fashion designing and styling. I just had to request some edits later on, so I’d get my desired results.

This includes replacing the accessories with a tribal or Boho-inspired necklace and earrings, adding a woven brown belt, and changing the background to a soft and mellow ambiance. My first prompt included the black, tight-fitting long-sleeved top with Sabrina neckline, the cream-colored wedge shoes, and the A-line, long skirt.



I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of “artwear,” or art that you can wear, particularly with paintings. If you ask me if I will wear anything like what the model wears above, my answer is “yes.” Well, depending on the occasion, of course.

Do you think my chickens will love me more when they see me wearing this? I mean, they’re the only creatures outside of the house who see me often here since I don’t go out often. 😀

By the way, if you want to use some of these images, please don’t hesitate to send me a message or just comment down below. ❤ Including my face in the AI-generated images is one of my strategies, so nobody would steal my photos. lol Oh, and yes, I am using the free version only of ChatGPT.

P.S. I mentioned in some of my previous articles that Mom designed her dresses when she was in her early 20s and had them sewn by a seamstress here in our town. She got her inspo from fashion magazines and made her own fashion creations, too. Sadly, these dresses don’t fit me anymore since I already weigh 58 kgs. lol

You may read more here:

“How My Passion For Art and Fashion Came To Be”

“SEVEN WEEKENDS MNL: Bringing Out The Fashion Versatility In You”

“To The Only Mother I’ll Ever Have”


P.P.S. I am grateful that the provincial government of Albay made considerations for preemptive evacuations of communities near the Mayon volcano in preparation for the rainy season. In case there are emergency evacuations during heavy lahar flows, I hope the LGU will prioritize less crowded and more evacuation sites. The Philippines is currently on standby for the possibility of a Hantavirus and/or an Ebola outbreak in the country.

Air ambulances might also be necessary if there are a lot of routes that are impassable due to lahar flows. If Mayon continues its activity for the rest of the year, we can expect more buildup of PDCs and other debris on the slopes of the volcano. This will increase the likelihood of path changes in the gullies, possibly extending beyond the 6km permanent danger zone. Weather experts have already warned that we will experience above-normal rainfall volume this year due to El Niño, which will persist until 2027.

I am also praying that no mining operations will be allowed near Mt. Mayon, whether privately funded or not, Filipino-owned or owned by a foreign investor.

Pirmi lang kirita magpangadyi, maghanda, nyan magsunod sa abiso. 🙏


Daragang Magayon in an active combat stance.

Daragang Magayon Version 2.0: A Love Story Forged In Fire

If you could be your favorite movie or book character, who would you be? Me? I would love to be “Daragang Magayon,” from Bicol’s local folklore, “The Legend of Mayon Volcano.” You may also read another version of the legend in this article.

Yet another version is Dr. Merlinda Bobis’ retelling of this legend, which I am very much looking forward to reading, and it portrays Daragang Magayon as a warrior princess. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an original copy online, and it’s also out of print. *sigh* I am praying I’ll find an original copy of this book. ❤


“Kantada ng Babaing Mandirigma Daragang Magayon” by Dr. Merlinda Bobis, an award-winning Bikol poet.

So, I am feeling playful with ChatGPT again because I am physically tired, and this is one of my ways to destress. 😀 I asked it to create a “Daragang Magayon” version of me by uploading a 2×2 ID photo of mine. lol

I only use ChatGPT when I want to experiment with images. But for the article content, it’s all me. And once again, it exceeded my expectations – the results were downright impressive, the details are incredibly stunning. If a genie in a bottle exists to make your ideas come to life, AI is really it.

Without any further ado, let me introduce you to Daragang Magayon version 2.0 (or 3.0?).


Ah yes, it’s a good thing AI did not change a single bit on my face. I was worried it wouldn’t capture my signature flat nose. lol The beehive hairstyle, though? I’m totally digging it.

ChatGPT got just the right image I had in mind. Mayadon talaga mag-imbento. lol

I also asked ChatGPT to recreate the image above and change it to an active combat stance with a gritty expression. I requested several edits because I preferred the active combat stance set with Mt. Mayon erupting in the background. But I wasn’t satisfied with the lighting on the 2nd image, so I requested another edit, and AI nailed it with the 3rd image.



Final Image

By the way, using these photos for commercial purposes without my permission might still fall under copyright infringement issues because my face is in these images. 😀 Though I am still currently reviewing OpenAI’s Terms of Service for this. I do highly encourage generating similar images by creating prompts that are as detailed as possible. You may want to conduct your research first on the elements that you want to see in your AI-generated images.

For example, when determining what your avatar or model would look like, try experimenting with specific facial features, i.e., aquiline nose, round eyes, prominent cheekbones, etc. You might want to avoid coming up with prompts that are too general. The more specific, the better. For unique images, take note of techniques that photographers or artists use in their artworks, i.e., lighting, rule of thirds, foreground, background, rendering, color blending, etc.


Meanwhile, this is Daragang Magayon in the parallel universe. I can hear this version shouting: “Tsk, tsk, tsk, men. Off with their heads!!!”

Chinitang Mandirigma 😀 Nag-“chinchansu” ada ini kay mapution an pandok kesa sa lawas. lol

By the way, I upload my photos on Google’s Reverse Image Search to find images on the internet similar to mine. This is how I make sure that all original images (including AI-generated) I post online aren’t stolen. 😀

To be really honest, I was laughing out loud when the photos were generated. I was just totally amused. I felt like if I were to rewrite Daragang Magayon‘s story, it’s going to be a romantic comedy instead of a romantic tragedy. lol

I did rewrite it, though, but I tweaked the ending so it wouldn’t end tragically. As for the rom-com version, it will just have to wait. The outline below is my own version of the legend of Daragang Magayon, which I entitled, “Daragang Magayon Version 2.0: A Love Story Forged In Fire.” 🙂


***UPDATED: This photo I generated from ChatGPT a few days after I wrote this article really got me thinking. Why is it that Daragang Magayon is barefoot and Panganoron has sandals? 😀

Here’s how the new narrative will run through:

  • Daragang Magayon not only survived one challenge.
  • She overcame different obstacles that turned her into a Warrior Princess.
  • She lived in different places, but came back to the place where she was born to lead the native’s revolt against foreigners who wished to conquer the land.
  • She is not just a damsel in distress; she fights alongside Panganoron, her Army’s General, and also her lover, to defend their people and the community from those who will take advantage of them and their resources.
  • Pagtuga, a rejected suitor of Daragang Magayon, secretly made a deal with the foreigners.
  • A battle took place between the natives and the foreigners.
  • Though the natives won, a lot of them died, including Pagtuga and Daragang Magayon‘s father.
  • These fallen natives were buried on the exact battleground, wherein a few days later, a volcano rises.
  • The people called it “Mayon” to honor Daragang Magayon’s bravery in leading her people to victory.
  • Panganoron proposes to Daragang Magayon with a beautiful ring that has a natural lava stone taken from the volcano’s first eruption – a symbol of the love forged through resilience and courage.
  • She lived through until old age with Panganoron, and were blessed with many children.
  • BECAUSE A HAPPY ENDING IS A MUST. Periodt.

Daragang Magayon, the protagonist, @ 40 years old. 😉 This version is already more modified than the others when it comes to facial features.

And the Bible verses that best fit this heroine’s character are the following:

A Wife of Noble Character

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

13 She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

1She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

– Proverbs 31: 10-31


It’s been a year since I got so close to Mt. Mayon and was able to touch the soil in one of its slopes during my first Mayon ATV Adventure last May 5, 2025. You can read more about it here:

I came up with this write-up because it looked like Mt. Mayon reminded me of my first anniversary with it. Last May 2, 2026, there was a lava flow collapse more than usual in the gullies, particularly in the Mi-Isi Gully. Thousands of families were evacuated due to heavy ashfall and dangerous PDCs (pyroclastic density currents).

If I am not mistaken, the Green Forest Trail, where we had our last stop near the volcano last year, is located in Brgy. Mi-Isi. I think that trail is now gone with the new debris from the recent lahar flow in the area.

I wrote this article solely for fun and entertainment. But on a more heartfelt note, I am lifting all Albayanos who were affected by ashfall and might be affected by lahar, especially those living near the volcano, in my prayers. May God’s protection and provisions be upon them amid the ongoing activity of Mt. Mayon. Magpangadyi tabi kirita pirmi. 🙏

P.S. Which Daragang Magayon character version is your top choice? And if it is going to be published in a new book or as a movie, I already asked ChatGPT to create a movie poster or book cover of this new version. Check it out below. What do you think? 🙂



P.P.S. Methinks the music video below by dwta is the perfect soundtrack for my version of Daragang Magayon‘s legend.



PANGANORON (BIKOL VERSION)

[Verse 1]
Mari na
Ibahan mo ako sa sakuyang dudumanan
Mari na
Dai ta ka man wawaraon

[Pre-Chorus]
Tumubod ka sakuya
Sakuyang padaba
Dai ka maghadit
Ta dai na saimong mabaya

[Verse 2]
Mari na
Ano pa an nagpupugol sa imo?
Mari na
Sabay niyatong hahampangon
An nakaabang na peligro

[Pre-Chorus]
Tumubod ka sakuya
Sakuyang padaba
Dai ka maghadit
Ta dai na saimong mabaya

[Chorus]
Anion ako
Dulagan ta an maribukon na kinaban
Yaon ako
Dawa abuton pa kita nin kadipisilan

[Post-Chorus]
Promisa ko saimo
Dai ko nanggad ika bubutasan

[Instrumental Break]

[Pre-Chorus]
Tumubod ka sakuya
Sakuyang padaba
Dai ka maghadit
Ta dai na saimong mabaya

[Bridge]
Lalanguyon, ririrupon
Lalakawon, dadalaganon
Dawa ano, kayang gibuhon
Kun pwede sana ngani ini lalayugon

Lalanguyon, ririrupon
Lalakawon, dadalaganon
Dawa ano, kayang gibuhon
Kun pwede sana ngani ini lalayugon

Lalanguyon, ririrupon
Lalakawon, dadalaganon
Dawa ano, kayang gibuhon
Dawa ano, kakayanon

[Chorus]
Anion ako
Dulagan ta an maribukon na kinaban
Yaon ako
Dawa abuton pa kita nin kadipisilan

[Post-Chorus]
Promisa ko saimo
Sakuyang padaba
Dai ka maghadit
Ta dai ta ka man nanggad bubutasan

[Outro]
Yaon na
Kitang duwa sa lugar
Kun sain daing ribok

Huni na
Su promisa ko saimo
Papadabaon ka
Hanggang sa hudyan


PANGANORON (FILIPINO VERSION)

[Verse]
Tara na
Samahan mo ako sa aking pupuntahan
Tara na
Hindi naman kita ililigaw

[Pre-Chorus]
Magtiwala ka sa akin
Aking mahal
Wag kang mabahala
Dahil wala na sa ‘yong mang-iiwan

[Verse]
Tara na
Ano pa ang pumipigil sa iyo?
Tara na
Sabay nating haharapin
Ang nakaabang na peligro

[Pre-Chorus]
Magtiwala ka sa akin
Aking mahal
Wag kang mabahala
Dahil wala na sa ‘yong mang-iiwan

[Chorus]
Andito ako
Takasan natin ang maingay na mundo
Nariyan ako
Kahit abutin pa tayo ng suliranin

[Post-Chorus]
Pangako ko sa iyo
Hinding-hindi kita bibitawan

[Instrumental Break]

[Pre-Chorus]
Magtiwala ka sa akin
Aking mahal
Wag kang mabahala
Dahil wala na sa ‘yong mang-iiwan

[Bridge]
Lalanguyin, sisisirin
Lalakarin, tatakbuhin
Kahit ano, kayang gawin
Kung pwede nga lang ito’y liliparin

Lalanguyin, sisisirin
Lalakarin, tatakbuhin
Kahit ano, kayang gawin
Kung pwede nga lang ito’y liliparin

Lalanguyin, sisisirin
Lalakarin, tatakbuhin
Kahit ano, kayang gawin
Kahit ano, kakayanin

[Chorus]
Andito ako
Takasan natin ang maingay na mundo
Nariyan ako
Kahit abutin pa tayo ng suliranin

[Post-Chorus]
Pangako ko sa iyo
Aking mahal
Wag kang mabahala
Dahil hinding-hindi talaga kita bibitawan

[Outro]
Nariyan na
Tayong dalawa sa lugar
Kung saan walang ingay

Narito na
Ang pangako ko sa iyo
Mamahalin ka
Hanggang sa dulo


“Ngisog” & God’s Powerful Reminder

I have been praying to God for 3 days on how to write this, because just like the article before this, I will be touching on a very personal and sensitive topic. It is not my intent to ask for sympathy or validation as to why I am writing this. In fact, I waited for how many days to make sure that I am writing this not out of anger or retaliation.

The answer came – testify, but do it through the Spirit’s leading, so other families may also be ministered to, especially those who are going through and those who will go through the same ordeal. 

I will be writing this article in 3 languages – Bikol (the rant), Filipino (the processing), and English (the reminder). You may skip to “The Processing” and not read the first part because it’s a very long portion.

During “angry writing,” I use the vernacular (Bikol) because I need to focus on writing it out, helping me to process my anger before it goes out. Whereas, if I use English, I know there’s a high chance my writing will be offensive. 😀

Compared to “angry speaking,” I use English because I am not a fluent speaker. Using English gives me control and self-restraint when I am angry because I need to find the right words. And it’s the same when I use the vernacular when I am angry, they will be hurtful words because it is the language that I use often. 

That is why I think it is better to learn another language, because when you are angry, you can use that foreign language. And you won’t offend people because they won’t understand what you’re saying. lol There is also a high chance that, out of your anger, you use a different phrase because you can’t remember its exact translation. So, instead of “I hate you,” you might say “Je t’aime.” 

I think you’d get a hug and a kiss after. If that’s the case, I would love to be angry every day. lol I’m kidding. If my corny jokes make you laugh uncontrollably, that means you are my person. 😀 

Going back to why I wrote this article, I entitled it with one local word, “ngisog.” It’s a local term that means “angry.” And this will be the central theme that I’ll be working on based on these Bible verses:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

Before we continue, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guard your heart after reading because no family is perfect, no marriage is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, because no person is perfect. I am not perfect, I still sin, and I still have a great need to repent and seek God’s mercy and forgiveness.

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” – Philippians 3:12-14

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” – Romans 3:23

I am not sharing this, too, to shame anyone or bring embarrassment to my family. But to share God’s reminder that we must work together peacefully.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18


The Rant (Minsan Lang Naman)

Kun kilala na niyo ako sin awat, dire talaga ako madali mangisog…Halaba an ako pasensya pero dahil dire man kita perpekto nan maski sin-o na tawo, pag nasasagad, nangarangas…Saro man saako personalidad na dire ako mainistorya pag may mga tiripon…Pero dire man ako an tipo san tawo na pag may naimod na dire dianis pareho sin pagabuso o may-on sin nakukulugan an boot, saro ako sa mga masita suon…Dire sa nakiaram ako pero kay inpapanghawakan ko ini na Bible verse:

“Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.” – Psalm 82:3

Pareho na lang kun may kadanon ka, dire ko kaya maimod na an kadanon inmumuslak…Kay maski nano na mali san tawo, may tama na paagi sin pagsuhito para mahimo na niya sa otro an tama…Sabi ngani nira, minsan dire an mismo na pangisog an nakakulog san boot kundi an tono san imo pagsurumaton…

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Dire man ako pabor san papatrabahuon mo an kadanon na papakuskuson mo an pavement maski naguuran nyan an pandong sa ulo an plastic lang, huluson, tapos may-on sin sip-on…Dire rason dapat na di kaya bantayan an kadanon didi sa sulod kay kaipuhan sin halaba na pasensya nyan pagputitok…Kaya dire ako nangalas kun nakay sige an absent kay malain an pamati altho aram ko daghan pa iba niya na rason…Para saako, para mahimo sin saro na tawo sin mayad an kaniya trabahuon, ihatag mo kaniya an mga pangaipuhan para mahimo niya sin mayad an trabaho niya…

Saro pa, maski sin-o na tawo masusumo kun an snack mo pirmi biscuit… 😀 Kay heavy labor baga, pira man lang na gastos kun an ipamirindal mo pan para may kusog san lawas…Para saako, atamanon ta man an mga tawo na nag-aataman saato…Dire nato pag-isugan an mga tawo na nagdadanon saato sa mga bagay na dire na nato kaya mahimo…Dire dahil kay inseswelduhan, magtrabaho, bayadan, tapos na…

Maski an dire paghatag sin salary increase (nagtugot na an financier) kada taon is a form of oppression lalo pa na sige man an taas san barakalon dahil sa inflation…Dire ngani ini oppression sa mata san batas, pero sa mata san Dios oo…Lalo na kun naiimod man an gub-at nyan kadaghan san intatrabaho niya kada adlaw…Nyan inhihimo man niya intero na insusugo mo kaniya na dire siya nagdadabog o nagsisimbag saimo…

Importante man gihapon na makaigwa sin relasyon that goes beyond a leader and a subordinate sa mga inkakaputan na tawo dire dahil friendly kita, kundi para maintindihan nato sin mayad an personalidad nira, an paagi san pagtrabaho nira, nyan problema sa balay na intero ini makaapekto san kaniya performance sa trabaho…Dire lang talaga ako nakiaram kay sabi ngani sa simbahan, there can never be 2 queens in 1 kingdom…Nyan aram ko kun gaano kapagal an people management…

Wara ako sin kontrol sa mga bagay na ini nyan posible sa iba trivial lang ini na mga bagay…Pwede palagpason kumbaga…Pwede ko ngani talaga dire ini pag-intindihon kay dahil dire man ako an nagpapasweldo nyan dire ako an nagkakapot san kwarta pangpa-sweldo…Limitado an kaya ko na danon na mahatag sa kadanon para madanunan siya kaupod na doon an mga libre na bulong kay kun maski nahapdos, inkakaya niya magsulod…

O mahatagan sin diyo na kwarta lalo na kun nagipit kay dahil single mom siya, pero dire pirmi kay para may-on pa gihapon sin boundaries na dire abusuhon an imo pagdanon…Nyan kun nano na mga pagkaon na mahatag ko, intatagan ko…Dire ako nagi-expect na magpasalamat saako…Kay an ako lang na tuyo, an makadanon kay dahil naiimod ko an pangaipo maski dire saako sabihon…

Nag-uli ako didi sa sadire ko na kagustuhan…An asawa ko yadto sa Pasig kay may naimod ako na mga bagay na kaipuhan sin danon didi sa niyan pareho sin kaso sa ingod na kaupod ako sa mga akusado…Dire ako nasanay mag-ayo sin danon kay dahil may mga tawo na pag maayo ka sin danon, maski saday-saday na bagay, magub-at sa boot nira an pagkooperar saimo…

Kaso naabot sa punto na kaipuhan ko talaga sin danon lalo na sa mga bagay bagay na kaipuhan at least 2 an tawo an mahimo…Niyan kun pagalon ka na, susurumatunan ka pa sin dire dianis, bulyawan ka, o kun dire, dire ka simbagon, nyan murusutan ka maski matanos man an pakisuyo mo, kaso urgent an concern, masasagad ka talaga na makasabi ka sin dire man dianis dahil napuno ka na…An sala mo lang kay nag-ayo ka sin danon na kun tutuuson saday man lang ngani na pabor…

Sin-o an dapat na mag-call out sin irog sadi na behavior kay dahil Kristyano kami intero, intero kilala an Dios, intero nagsisimba, and hopefully intero nagbabasa san Bible?…Nyan makakamundo lang na bagan gustuhon na pirmi may kahiran na an goal pirmi may kalatigaran, bagan mao an nakahatag sin energy baga…Kay ‘pag peaceful an environment, bagan nade-depress…Dapat ada nag-abogado na lang kuta ha… 😀 Kaya dire ka talaga lugod gaganahan magdanon kay mapagal na kun ikaw na nagdanon, ikaw pa an maparaot…

Mapagalon sa totoo lang i-work out an teamwork kun irog sadi an pagurupudan niyo..Intero man kamo napapagal, nano kay kaipuhan pa mag-sungit…Kun dire kaya an iba na tasks, pagiristoryahan an pagbarahin san mga himuon…Madali man lang ako kaistorya kun i-assign saako an iba na tasks kay kun dire ko kaya, sasabihon ko man…Mas gusto ko ngani na insasabihan ako kun nano dapat talaga an himuon ko, kay basta aram ko siya himuon, willing ako to do it…Pero wara na kuta mabati na malain na mga surumaton…

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

Sa luwas dianison an paimod, mao man kunta pag kaupod an pamilya, kay di man an mga sa luwas an maakudihir saimo pag nangaipuhan ka sin danon kundi an mga kapamilya nimo… Love your own, protect your own ika ngani nira….

An mga irog sadi na simple na mga dire pagkauruyon kaya ko ini palagpason…Pero an pinakamakulog saako an nangyari kan Mommy san 2023…Na imbes na magkasararo alang alang sa nag-aagaw buhay na siya, makakamundo na kami san asawa ko na nag-volunteer lang magdanon, mao pa an nasahutan na nangupit san kwarta na panggastos sa mga pangaipo ni Mommy na dire namo yuon hihimuon in the first place kay dire yuon saamo importante na kwarta kay an Dios an naghahatag suon nyan may sadire kami na ipon…

Insahutan ka na tulos dahil lang dire nag-tally an computation kay syempre pagalon ka na kaasikaso sa Mommy niyo sa pag-alaga kaniya sa ospital, minsan nakakalimutan mo diin mo nabutang an iba na resibo kay dahil nagkakaradali nan daghanon ka inhihimo at the same time…Kami san asawa ko an imod namo sa kwarta na conduits lang san blessing kami para ihatag man sa iba as danon kun may sobra…

Nyan nagi-effort ka na makiistorya kuta sin mahinahon para maayos an mga dire pagkauruyunan, naghapot ka sin mayad kun nano an update, inupudan mo san due si Mommy niyo na operahan…Pero an hinimo, binayaan ka sa OR na di mo aram kun nano an next na mangyayari after san procedure kay dire man ikaw an nakaistorya san doktor, nyan kun pwede na kamo mag-uli sin asawa mo…Kay dahil nagkadali kamo paghatod san kwarta kay an rason na dire maaram kun diin ma-cash out sin GCash o ma-withdraw…

Maski są kasagsagan san bagyo, an asawa ko an naghinguha na mag-drive na muntik na kami maaksidente kay zero visibility kay makusugon an uran…Pero dahil kaipuhan, hinimo namo maski bayaan namo didi an mga alaga nyan maski sa butnga kami sin kun nano namo na inhihimo…Makulugon sa boot na pag-abot mo sa hospital, ikaw pa an may sala kay awaton mo dinara an kwarta…Naghuhulat ka sin update man lang nano an mangyayari, an insabi san doktor, inkakaistorya mo, dire ka intitingugan…Nano an choice ko sa sitwasyon na yadto? 

Nag-decide na lang ako na mag-uli kami san asawa ko…Pag-uli namo san asawa ko, nagtawag na si Mommy nagbabaon an bp during san procedure and may possibility na mag-cardiac arrest…Katapusan na san biyahe namo inpapabalik kami sa Sor Ci…1 hour sobra an biyahe, may bagyo…

Diyo lang ini na mga halimbawa na sasabihon ko didi, daghan pa an mga irog sadi na pangyayari…Pero sabi san Dios, Siya na lang an dapat makaaram tutal naiimod man Niya intero…Kaipuhan ko lang ma-share an iba para lang sa konteksto sadi na article ko…

Nagsabi ako san ako suhestyon kun pano ini maresolba na mga challenges niyan didi pareho na lang sin pag-assign sin mga trabahuon sa kada adlaw sa kada tawo didi sa balay para intero may ambag sa mga responsibilidad nyan dire naguguguan an saro lang na tawo…Kay pag irog sadi na paragalon na, kadiyo lang na problema, nasarabog na nyan kun manlain-lain na na mga maraot na surumaton an naruluwas…Importantehon saako an open communication because it paves the way for transparency, accountability, and eventually reconciliation na fair para sa intero…

I told the truth, and I apologized because I know I also fell short in some instances, but I never got an apology in return. And it would’ve been okay. But sadly, I was the one who was pointed out as wrong; I am the one who is always wrong because I am expected to always adjust to other people’s tantrums and mood swings. And I was told that I am the one who needs therapy, without even getting to know the root cause of it all. My prayer to God is that I really would be proven wrong, because who am I to judge, anyway? I am also a sinner.

The Processing

Siguro kailangan ko nga talaga ng therapy dahil masyado akong soft, masyadong sensitive, at masyadong mahina. At alam ng Dios ‘yun. Kaya matapos pumanaw si Mommy, kinailangan ko lumayo muna sa lahat. Dumating din ang tamang pagkakataon dahil nabigyan ng opportunity ang asawa ko na mag-trabaho abroad. Hindi ako sang-ayon dito sa totoo lang dahil flawed din ang asawa ko, kaya ipinasa-Dios ko na lang ang lahat sakaling mauwi ito sa tuluyang hiwalayan namin bilang mag-asawa. 

Ito ‘yung panahon na nanirahan ako sa isang apartment sa Sorsogon City ng 2024. Ginawa ko ito para pahilumin ang mga sugat at hindi ako tuluyang kainin ng galit. Ilang buwan lang akong nanirahan doon. By mid 2024, kinailangan ko bumalik ulit dito sa Bulan dahil si Daddy ay na-diagnose ng CKD at 15% na lang ng kidneys nya ang gumagana at hindi conducive ‘yung apartment para sa bago kong online work dahil maingay kapag umaga. 

Umaasa ako na sana may nagbago…Pero wala din, ganun pa din…Masakit makita ang Daddy mo na nangangailangan na ng tutok na pag-aalaga sa edad na 85 years old…Na ‘di ko basta-basta maibigay dahil kailangan ko na ulit maghanap ng trabaho at hindi ako ang humahawak ng pension nya at ako pa sumasalo ng ibang gawain dito sa pag-alaga ng mga manok, pagong, mga pusa, at iba pang tasks kapag absent ang yaya…Ang masaklap kasi binilangan ka ng contribution mo dito sa bahay, na in the first place, wala dapat ako dito at nandoon ako sa Maynila para pagsilbihan ang asawa ko…

Pero sa gitna ng pagdadalamhati, sinabihan na naman ako ni God na, “Tin, hindi mo trabaho ang baguhin ang ibang tao at ang mga sitwasyon. Trabaho ko ‘yun. Kaso timeline ko ang masusunod, hindi yung sayo.” 😀 At ngayon, may konting idea ako kung saan nanggaling ang resentment ni Mommy and her depression, too. Na umabot sa punto na sinabihan nya ako ng “Tatanda din kayo. Ikaw na ang umunawa kasi ikaw ang mas nakakaintindi.” 

Ni-try ko Mommy pero napagod ako ng husto. Hindi ako tatagal ng ganito ng ilang taon dahil magiging tulad mo ako na pinanghawakan ang galit sa puso hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang sandali. I am so sorry, Mom. Pero may tamang panahon na sarili ko din naman isipin ko, at ito na ‘yun. At ‘yun din ang message na nakuha ko – don’t sit at a table where you are not wanted.

Asawa ko ang nagpapadala sa akin ng allowance ngayon, kahit pa mag-isa lang siya sa Maynila, kumakayod para sa aming dalawa dahil hindi na siya bumalik abroad. Hindi ako makahanap ng trabaho ulit dahil sa dami ng kailangan asikasuhin dito sa bahay, kaya madalas din ako sa kwarto para magpahinga. Kaya ngayon magpapatuloy na ulit ako sa paghanap ng trabaho dahil dasurv naman siguro ng sarili ko na sya naman pagtuunan ko ng pansin ngayon. 

Ako ang tipo ng tao na hindi nagtatanim ng galit. Kausapin mo ako pagkatapos ng away, papansinin kita. Kapag hindi, hindi rin. Napagod na rin siguro ako na ako lagi nagi-initiate kahit pareho naman may kasalanan. Kung nag-attempt ako na kausapin ka, at nilunok ko ang pride ko, at hindi ka kumibo, isa lang pahiwatig nun sa akin, hindi na ako makikipagusap saiyo at hindi ko pipilitin ang mga taong ayaw akong kausapin. 

Hindi ako actually pabor sa silent treatment dahil dinanas ko yun kay Mommy ng dalawang taon dahil hindi ko tinapos ang master’s degree ko at ikinagalit nya ‘yun ng sobra. Alam ko epekto nito bilang recipient of that attitude. Pero inintindi ko si Mommy noon na her anger was valid as a parent. Hinayaan ko na panahon ang maghilom ng sugat. At kahit masakit na hindi ka kinikibo ng mahal mo sa buhay, umuuwi pa din ako dito sa bahay tuwing bakasyon and endured it all para lang hindi maputol ang relational ties ko sa kanila.

The Reminder

All the previous trauma and unhealed parts of me came back, and I was feeling very low over the past few days. After the heated argument (where I sinned again because I cursed and said extremely hurtful words out of anger), I thought I’d go out of town just to take a breather from everything. I decided to go to SM City Sorsogon because I also have errands to do there.

When the Bulan Trans Co shuttle was about to leave, one guy at the front stood up, and he did what I wasn’t totally expecting to happen. This never happened for the entire duration that I stayed in Sorsogon City in 2024, though I took the Bulan Trans Co shuttle often.

He started preaching.

At that moment, I felt like I was about to burst into tears. Lord, Your conviction really does hit the core. You know exactly what I need at exactly the right time. And it has to be a pastor – I cannot question the authority. 

God knows there is a possibility anger, bitterness, resentment, and retaliation will get the best of me. He knows I might go through a major depression again, and this time I might not get out of it anymore. 

The pastor talked about everything that I needed to hear, and at the end of his preaching, he introduced himself as Pastor Raul from the Pentecostal Church. He and his wife are missionaries from Negros, and were sent to build a church here in Bulan. They were able to buy a property in Brgy. Somagongsong, and there’s an old house there, which they are using now as their temporary church.

The second part included the offering. I know, some of you might think, what if he is a scammer using the Word of God to get money from people? That’s how I would think of them before I was a born-again Christian. 

But this time, the conviction is different. It doesn’t matter – I got to hear the rebuke, the reminder, and God’s saving grace. I prayed that my offering would help them spread God’s Word because what they are doing is not easy, and it is very risky. 

Every Nation (the mother church of Victory Philippines) is also a missionary-sending church. The church sends missionaries abroad, although Victory is also planting churches locally. I am very glad that other local churches also never stop building churches all over the Philippines.

And the denomination doesn’t matter. What is important is that Jesus Christ is the center of the church, and they are helping more people come to know who God is through the Cross. 

After this encounter with God through Pastor Raul during my trip to Sorsogon City, I felt like the Holy Spirit convicted me with the following Bible verses. 


“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.” – Mark 9:42

“Therefore, just as the tares are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age. “The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” – Matthew 13:40-42

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” – Psalm 141:3

“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” – Deuteronomy 30:19

“Correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:25

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” – Galatians 6:1

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

To end this article, here’s my prayer that I believe will help us all navigate through complicated relationships, making sure we are aligned with what God wanted us to do through the midst of it all, because everyone is a work in progress. ❤


Dear Lord,

I humbly come before You to seek repentance for all of my sins. Please help me to forgive others the way You have forgiven me. I may be like weeping Jeremiah now, but I beg You, Lord, to spare Your people from moral decay.

May our hearts not be calloused and devoid of love because of the work of evil around and in us. Spare us from the corruption of this world. Please continue to mold us to be the salt and light of the world always.

And yet, please remind me, too, if my self-righteousness has gone too far. Help me, Lord, to defeat the attacks of the enemy, removing all lies and deception that blind us from the Truth.

May we not fail to keep on being kind to people. Even if the world dictates that kindness is a weakness because it forces us to relinquish control and risk our authority being taken for granted.

Remind us, Father, that before we are bosses, managers, supervisors, and leaders, we are human first. I pray, Father, that we may grow fearful, not of what we will face in the future, but as a sign of our reverence for You.

It pains me to see Your people suffering, and even if I suffer, too, I will rejoice because I get to share the same kind of suffering with them. And because I am secure in the fact that we will also share in this profound joy, once You come back to reign heaven and earth for all eternity.

Please give us the courage to walk away when necessary, the peace to accept things as they are, and the strength to keep moving forward. Knowing all too well that You are always in control, and that You are working, always working.

I pray for parents that they will be given the wisdom to guide their children towards responsibly creating a safe atmosphere of open communication without raising voices or resorting to bickering. And that everyone will be given a voice.

Father, please heal our unhealed traumas because of generational curses. I pray, Lord, that as Brother Bo Sanchez said, may we not give an inheritance of these generational curses to the generations after us by being emblems of what God’s love is ourselves.

May we also not laugh at the misfortune of others, but instead weep with them and comfort them. May we refrain from having any form of pride, arrogance, and superiority complex just because we are blessed with a lot of things, sharing these blessings instead with those in need.

Teach us, oh Lord, that we should never be against one another, being able to see that these are all the enemy’s attacks to cause division within a family and even in spiritual families.

Because when you are cut off from the flock, you are isolated, an easy prey. I pray for unfailing unity in the body of Christ despite the trials and persecution. May we learn to work cooperatively and collectively despite our differences, putting others before ourselves.

May You guide our hearts to never be tempted to compete with other people, especially those who are in the body of Christ, keeping in mind that we have been blessed with different spiritual gifts. And may we also appreciate those who silently work behind the scenes, so that together we can give You the utmost glory.

And lastly, may this experience be a powerful testimony and a strong reminder to me, most especially, that You are greater, and that there is always hope through our brokeness no matter how shattered and no matter how pained.

This, I pray, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN. 


“But there is no peace for the wicked,” says the LORD.” – Isaiah 48:22

“Before a downfall, the heart is haughty.” – Proverbs 18:12

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” – 2 Timothy 3:1-5


P.S. I am planning to go back to Manila by April, though I have my apprehensions because Manila is not a place that I feel God is calling me to stay for good. I am also praying for the souls I will be leaving here, Dad’s and the little souls, that they would get the TLC that they deserve (na dire pagparapahulaton kuta bag-o asikasuhon) at hindi sila mapabayaan. God is in control, and I will rest in this fact. Feeling ko tuloy isa din ako sa mga Israelites na ni-exile at nagpa-wander wander sa iba’t ibang lupain dala ng mga unfavorable circumstances sa paligid nila. Saan ba ako lulugar, Lord? Where do you want me to go, where do you want me to stay? It looks like it will always just be me and my fair warrior, Finley, na magiging kasama ko madalas kung palipat-lipat ako kung saan saan. Start na ng training nya paglabas-labas ng bahay at pag-commute kasi mahilig si Meowmy nya mag-commute. 😀 And I think I left my heart in Mayon (sino ba hindi mabibighani kay Mayon) simula nang nag-ATV kami doon noong May 2025, kasi bakit ba ramdam na ramdam nya pinagdadaanan ko at nag-ashfall sya kanina nang malakas habang sinusulat ko itong article na ito. I am always praying for every Albayano who will be affected.



P.P.S. As an introvert, I fit the category of writers who are recluses. Though I do have a very warm personality during social interactions. I even talk to plants and animals, and I prefer talking to them because it’s less stressful. lol So when I am not outdoors, and I am in my room and not working, it is not because I am harboring anger, playing victim (we are victors in Christ Jesus), or being a drama queen. I am actually enjoying my solitude doing the things I love, which include writing, reading articles online (mostly about faith), playing with Finley, resting, and praying. I think I deserve to be who I am without having to explain myself as to why and how I do things.


My thoughts exactly. lol

Magistorya Man Daw Kita Didi Sin Bikol Bulan

Niyan ko lang napansin na wara palan ako sin maski saro na article na sinurat didi gamit an Bikol Bulan tapos proud na proud ako na taga-Bikol ako. Aw nano baya. 😅

Ugaring kay ‘di ko aram kun tungkol sa nano an suraton ko didi. Kaya badi magkadirilot na lang ako didi sin kaistorya saiyo, wara didi wara didto sin pinakadtuan an article na ini. 🥴

Basta an importante nasasabutan niyo an istorya ko kun taga-Bikol ka man. Si Google panigurado nagsurunggo na ka-translate sadi. 😂 Kaya maudong na mun-a ako magsurat, sa otro na lang kun may matanos na ako na sabihon kay sayang sin pagal ko ka-type. lol

Nano baya tabi sa Bikol an LOL? Ngirit sin tuda? O ngirit sin makusog? So, pwede NST o NSM na lang an isurat ta? 😜

Marhay na hapon tabi saindo gabos. Kisira napaogma ko kamo maski pan-o. 😉

P.S. Dire ko na ini i-translate kay makakaraw-ay sa mga banyaga ko na mga taga-sunod (o sunod-sunuran 🤔) kay kun badi sa aga naka-unfollow na sira. 😂

E.O. No. 26 Nationwide Smoking Ban: Should I File A Legal Case Or Not?

So the neighbor once again smoked. It’s 2:21 am to be exact, and I’m still wide awake because I’m finishing the laundry. I believe this is how my allergic rhinitis worsened. They smoke in the wee hours of the morning when all our windows are open, and we’re fast asleep.

And this is even worse. We get to inhale the cigarette smoke without us knowing, and you can imagine how much of that smoke they puffed got inside our lungs. This is the disadvantage in communities like this where only a wall separates you from your neighbor – you hear and smell pretty much everything.

I am angry. Right now. I want to go outside and just shout at them and wake up the whole neighborhood. But something inside me told me it’s wrong. Instead, I thought it best to file a formal complaint against them at the admin’s office. Here are some parts of my complaint:

img_2949

EXECUTIVE ORDER NO. 26: NATIONWIDE SMOKING BAN

I am filing this complaint at the administration’s office first thing in the morning. While I would like to choose being kind, I cannot allow their irresponsibility to cause irreversible effects on our health. For one, they are not the ones who will pay for my medical fees when I get hospitalized because my health is already compromised due to second-hand smoke.

I am posting this here just in case anything bad would happen to me and my husband after filing the complaint i. e. harassments, threats, etc. , then they will be the first persons to be investigated upon by the authorities. I believe this is what God meant by correcting the bad behavior the right way and never using my wrath to commit another sin.

I will leave it to God and the law of our country to give justice and correct what is wrong. I am doing this not just for me and my husband, but for the other neighbors as well in this floor.

I know what I am doing is what God wanted me to do a long time ago. And I am confident that this is the right thing to do guided by these Bible verses:

“Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.” – Isaiah 1:17

“Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.” – Leviticus 19:15

Our neighbor, if you are reading this, I wrote this to give you a second chance and hoping we can settle this peacefully:

I tried to understand them as a person – flawed and yet someone who also needs God’s love and grace like me. Napapa-smile din ako kapag naririnig kong nagkukulitan ang mga bata sa terrace. They remind me noong kabataan ko at kung paano kami magkulitan na magkakapatid. Kahit maiingay, they somehow bring life to the eerie silence dito sa community paminsan. One of them sings beautifully, too.

What I hate is ‘yung act ng pag-smoke. Because ang epekto sa aming health ni Brian ay irreversible. I am also concerned about their kids at sa kanila din. They can actually smoke because my designated smoking area sa aming community although it’s one block away from our building.

I always pray na they will be able to overcome the addiction not just for us, their neighbors, but for their own sake. And yet kung hindi talaga kaya, okay lang sa akin na sa condo sila mag-smoke as long as isara nila ang pintuan at bintana nila ng maayos so no smoke could escape palabas na pwede naming malanghap.

The windows and terrace door ng mga units were all designed to completely seal any air from coming in or going out so they can still smoke if they really can’t control the urge. As long as huwag sa terrace. And yet I pray that they would quit altogether alang-alang sa mga anak or kamaganak nila lalo na ngayong panahon ng COVID 19.

I may not know their reasons for smoking and their need to smoke, and yet I know they have struggles, too, at baka ito lang din ang alam nilang way para ma-relieve sila. That is why I cover them with prayers always. Dahil ‘yun lang ang tanging paraan na alam ko na makakatulong ako sa kanila.

 

Sincerely praying for our neighbor’s cooperation,

 

Roasted Chicken A la Bicolana

I was supposed to write this article last December but the holiday rush, preparation and celebration with the family kept me from doing so.

This article though came in timely as my previous articles for this month were all about gifts (not your usual gift in a box with a ribbon) and the value of serving others through your gifts. I actually didn’t expect that last Sunday’s lecture will also be about that. Ah yes, it always is a wonder how things can be intertwined all because of God’s mysterious ways. 🙂

What is serving and how can we serve in a biblical sense?

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:45

“…and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:27-28

And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ – Matthew 25:40

I believe one way of honoring God and showing our thanks to Him is by sharing that love to others too. Let’s just say that you felt how much God loves you and it is just too wonderful to keep it to yourself that’s why you wanted to let others know and feel that kind of love as well.

In doing so, they might wonder what is it that’s been fueling your actions and though they might not understand it at first, this can be your perfect response – out of love.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

In the aspect of serving, we do find ourselves doing that knowingly or unknowingly with our families first and foremost. So last Christmas, I thought about preparing this roasted chicken recipe which was the first in the family’s Christmas celebration tradition.

Do take note though that I am no chef. lol 😀

I was just inspired and taught by my 3 older sisters who are very good in the kitchen and have such superb cooking skills they can invent their own recipe. Yup, no kidding. They really are that good.

Being the youngest, I grew up being the dishwasher. Haha Yes, you won’t believe it but my brother and I take turns in washing the dishes when we were younger. We are the two youngest members in the family, by the way.

On a side note, I just love being in a big family. You might not get to see or talk to all of them at the same time, yet you’ll still have one sibling to bug about every week aside from your parents. 😀

Anyway, as for my roasted chicken recipe, let’s just say I combined all the roasted chicken recipes I could find over the internet and came up with a “hybrid” roasted chicken. 😉

Roasted Chicken

Roasted Chicken A la Bicolana

Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 whole chicken

1 bunch of lemongrass

1 cup butter

½ cup tomato ketchup

1 cup soy sauce

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

3 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons salt

5 cloves whole garlic

2 teaspoons slightly crushed black pepper

4 onions cut into 4 parts

Procedure:

  1. Combine all the ingredients except for butter.
  2. Place the onions, garlic and lemongrass inside the chicken and marinate overnight.
  3. Prepare the butter and remaining marinade for basting.
  4. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees Farenheit and cook for about 1 hour or until the chicken is tender.
  5. Top it with garnishing, serve and enjoy!

I intend to make this a yearly tradition – out of love for God, love for family and joy in serving others. 🙂

P.S.

Oh and one mistake from the roasted chicken recipe – don’t prepare 1 roasted chicken ONLY especially when there are about 8 persons hoping to try it. lol 

I was expecting it to be served as an additional dish along with other meals but it became the main course – ooopps, my mistake. So yes, Mom wasn’t able to try it as she ate late and sadly, no roasted chicken leftover. I have this year to make up for it though. 😀

One thing more, the turbo broiler is a kitchen winner for me, nothing beats. ❤

Turbo Broiler

Turbo Broiler Moment

 

#Goal

 

Dahil kahit sira ang aking laptop, wala pa ring nakapigil sa akin na mag-sulat sa blog lalo na’t ilang araw na akong natengga sa pagsusulat ayan na’t puro drafts sila at kahit pa tinatyaga ko ang mabagal na pag-type nito sa aking phone. 😉

Madalas kong maalala ang nabasa ko sa libro ni Pr. Joey patungkol sa buhay mag-asawa sa libro nyang pinamagatang “The One Thing That Saved My Marriage.”  This was what he shared about remembering an incident where he learned that one lesson that changed their lives as a couple:

We were visiting a church in snow-covered Washington, DC. Though it happened in 1988, I can still remember the moment vividly in my mind. The pastor said, “At the end of your life, you will find yourself in a hospital bed somewhere and the people surrounding your bed will not be your business partners and associates; they will be your wife and children. The saddest day of your life is when you look into her eyes and both of you realize that you did not love her and your children the way you should have.”

Kung interesado kayong mabasa ito, married or not, you can download this sa website nya (joeybonifacio.com) and you just have to subscribe and look for the book in the e-books bar section.

Parang tulad din ng sinabi ni Pr. Dennis sa seminar on careers sa Singles’ Getaway noong 2012 kung saan ako nagkaroon ng altar call. This was about his wife noong ito ay nagbabalak i-pursue ang pagme-medisina para maging doktor at pinapili nya kung buhay may asawa o pagdo-doktor pipiliin nya. He told his wife na kaya ba syang damayan ng kanyang medical career sa mga gabing naiiyak o nalulungkot sya dahil sa isang problema. His wife chose to prioritize him and the family.

I met my husband nasa katapusan na ako ng masteral ko. Ngunit pinili kong unahin ang pag-aasawa thus we got married kahit ‘di ko pa tapos MA ko. Now I jokingly asked my husband, “Hon kung matapos ko MA ko and pursue my PhD, papayagan mo ba ako?”

He seriously answered/asked: “Wala ka na panahon ‘nun sa amin ng mga anak mo. May gusto ka bang patunayan sa sarili mo, Hon?”

And I was silent. Smiled. Then laughed. It was really a joke.

Oo, tama sya. Para saan pa nga ba ang pag-pursue of “greater” things when God wanted us to be content with what we have taking into consideration things that really matter – if you are married, it is your spouse and family. When we claim for greater things then it also means greater responsibilities which as we all know requires these – more time, more effort, and more resources. I guess we never really can have the best of both worlds thus we have to choose and prioritize. Ngunit sa mata ng Dios, what comes after Him if you are married is not your career but your spouse.

Tama sila Pastor na sa pagtanda mo o kapag ikaw ay naaksidente o nasa ospital, it is not going to be your co-workers, your friends or your boss who will be there to stay with you 24/7. Lahat ng iyong kaibigan ay magkakaroon din ng mga sarili nilang pamilya ganun din mga kapatid at kamaganak at ang mga ka-close mo sa trabaho ay magre-resign din ‘di kalaunan.

Though it is nice to get achievements, it will become of no use when you get home and you have nobody to share it with who is there with you cheering you all the way from start to finish. There is a possibility though that your spouse will leave this world sooner which would prove that indeed, things of this world are only temporary.

Yet this will prove too that because life is short and everything is temporary, it is a must we give the necessary kind of love to the significant other that God has appointed to us if it is our calling to be married.

Maybe the best question we should ask ourselves now is to whom or to what are we investing most of our time now here on Earth? Are we using it to forge meaningful relationships living out the greatest commandment of God which is loving someone with a Christ-like attitude and preparing for life in eternity or we are just living the life within this world and conforming to its patterns?

Isa sa mga goals ko ang mabuhay ng simple, working to live and not living to work. I need money for survival and yet I rely on God for the rest of my needs. If we are getting everything we need and want thru our own efforts then we would become lukewarm in our faith thinking we don’t need Him to supply our needs.

Now this is contrary to what God wants from us dahil ang gusto lang Nya is for us to seek Him with all our hearts. ‘Yun at ‘yun lang kung tutuusin ang only goal natin in this world dapat.

With this in mind, I contemplated about not finishing my masteral. I prayed real hard about it and got an instruction from God to finish it in His perfect time. Plano kong mag-shift ng courses noong college at itong Special Education na course sana lilipatan ko. But I was advised na ituloy ko na lang undergraduate course ko and i-pursue na lang as master’s degree ang Special Education kung plano ko mag-aral ulit.

Matagal na panahon na ang lumipas pero hindi pa rin ako makausad sa masteral thesis ko to the point na tinanong na ako ng Kuya ko kung ito ba talaga gusto ko. Sabi ko oo, dahil gusto ko tumulong sa mga batang may kapansanan o special needs. Nararamdaman ko na dun malapit ang puso ko. Kung ‘yun daw ang purpose ko ‘di na kailangan ng master’s degree dahil marami namang paraan para tulungan sila.

Sagot ko naman hindi lang kasi ‘yun. Plano ko magtayo ng isang Special Education school at magiging maganda credibility ng school na ito kung alam ng mga magulang na ang may-ari ng school ay may alam sa Special Education. Plano ko rin maging hands on sa school na ito kaya dapat may alam ako sa Special Education, training at experience nang sa gayon masubaybayan at magabayan ko rin ang mga SpEd teachers na magtuturo sa aking school.

At hindi lang dito nagtatapos ang layunin ko dahil kasabay ng school ay plano ko magtayo ng isang foundation/therapy center na mangangalaga ng libre sa mga batang may kapansanan ngunit kapos para makakuha ng sapat na serbisyo sa kanilang mga needs doon muna sa aking hometown sa Bulan, Sorsogon sa Bicol region. Alam ko na sa mga plano na ito, malaking effort, mahabang panahon at malaking pondo kailangan kong bunuin.

Ito ay isa lamang sa mga long-term goals ko kahit pa ngayong ako’y may asawa na. At palagay ko magpapatuloy ito hanggang sa pagtanda ko. Alam ko malapit ang puso ng Dios sa mga bata at alam ko rin na ang Special Education ay isa sa mga paraan ng Dios para matulungan ang mga batang nabuhay ng may kapansanan. I know the Lord sees the challenges, the frustration and the pain that these kids, who are innocent, go through pati ng mga magulang nila. Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng ito, ito rin naging reminder ko:

“Many are the plans of man, but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail. (Proverbs 19:21)”

Sa ngayon patuloy akong nananalangin for the Lord’s instructions, guidance and provision. And yet I have faith na saan man ako dalhin ng Dios kahit pa sobrang kabaligtaran sa mga plano at pinapangarap ko ang mangyari, buo tiwala ko na it is for my own good at ‘di lang para sa akin, kundi para na rin sa asawa ko at sa mga magiging anak namin. Nagtitiwala ako na hindi man matupad itong pangarap ko in my lifetime, I have hope na nariyan ang opportunity na ang magiging anak ko ang posibleng mag-sakatuparan at tumupad ng mga pangarap na ito kung ito ay alinsunod sa will ng Panginoon at kung ito rin ang kanyang calling o misyon.

Sa ngayon, binigay sa akin ng Dios ang asawa ko. This means that whatever happens, sya ang pangalawa sa priority ko after ni God.

Ikaw kapatid, anong mga plano mo sa buhay ang inaalay mo sa Dios na bigyan ka ng gabay? Continue praying, God hears and answers. 🙂

“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Tin Ginete

Love Is BLOG: Pag-unawa sa Pag-ibig

Sinakto ko talaga na gawin ang sulating ito sa unang araw ng buwan ng Agosto. Isa ito sa aking kontribusyon sa paggunita ng Buwan ng Wika. At ito ay patungkol sa isang akda ng isang kapwa Pilipino.

Paano ko nga ba nabasa ito? Sabihin nating dumaan ako sa isang masalimuot na kaganapan sa aking buhay pag-ibig. Naghanap ng pagpapaliwanag sa aking pinagdadaanan hanggang sa may isang brother in Christ na bukas loob na nagbigay ng kanyang payo patungkol sa usaping pag-ibig. Tawagin natin sya sa pangalang Doctor Eamer, dahil layon nyang tumulong sa “paggamot'” ng mga pusong nasugatan. 🙂

Tin Ginete

Preskripsyon ni Doctor Eamer.

Single ka ba? In a relationship? Married? Nasaktan sa pag-ibig? Masaya sa pag-ibig? Ano pa man ang status mo ngayon sa pakikipag-relasyon, minsan ba e tinatanong mo ang iyong sarili kung paano ba ang magmahal? (Hindi ito ang pelikulang The Breakup Playlist. Pero maganda rin iyon.)

Kung ang sagot mo ay oo, ang akda sa panulat ni Doctor Eamer na pinamagatang Love Is BLOG ay naaayon para sa’yo at nararapat lang na basahin mo ang kabuuan ng sulating ito. 🙂

Tin Ginete

Love is Blog by Doctor Eamer

Ano ba ang Love is BLOG?

Kung ikaw ay nakabisita na sa blog ni Doctor Eamer, marahil may ideya ka na kung ano ang nilalaman ng libro. Pero kung hindi pa at hindi nyo rin kilala si Doctor Eamer, bigyan ko na kayo ng kaunting detalye.

Si Doctor Eamer na may akda ng Love is BLOG ay isang binatang may layon na tumulong para maunawaan natin ang kahulugan ng salitang ito – pag-ibig.

Isa syang graduate student ngayon ng UP Los Baños. Oo, sya ay may angking talino. Kaya ‘wag kang magtataka kung malaman mong nakapagtapos sya bilang cum laude sa UP Los Baños din sa kursong BS Chemical Engineering. Ngunit kapag nakilala mo sya sa pamamagitan ng kanyang mga lathalain, mas hahanga ka sa kanyang katapatan sa paglalahad ng kanyang mga saloobin sa usaping pag-ibig na sadya namang nagpapatunay na hindi lang sya may angking talino kundi may puso ding nagnanais na makatulong sa kapwa sa pamamagitan ng kanyang ask.fm.

Ngayon panigurado gusto nyo ng bisitahin ang kanyang blog, pero antay lang muna tayo ng konti dahil dadako na tayo sa kanyang librong Love is BLOG.

Oo, ito ay patungkol sa pag-ibig. Pero hindi lang ito isang ordinaryong kwento ng pag-ibig. Dahil ang kahulugan ng pag-ibig sa akda nyang ito ay hindi yaong pag-ibig na madalas nating nababasa o naririnig. Kung kaya naman ganun na lamang kalapad ng aking mga ngiti simula isang tenga hanggang sa kabila labas pati gilagid nang matapos kong basahin ang kanyang aklat.

Hindi lamang tuwa at saya ang dala ng pagbabasa ng kanyang libro, nariyan na’t napapaisip ka, napapatango, napapatanong sa sarili pero kadalasan naliliwanagan. “Oo nga noh,”  ‘yun ang alam kong kadalasan mong masasambit habang binabasa ang kanyang libro.

Ang Love is BLOG ay ang unang librong naisulat ni Doctor Eamer na naging produkto ng mga nauna nyang artikulong ipinaskil sa kanyang blog. Isa itong obra maestra na masasabi kong kapana-panabik basahin. Oo, natapos ko sya sa isang upuan lang dahil andun yung pagaasam mo na malaman ang mga susunod na pangyayari at malaman ang kabuuan ng kwento.

Pero kung may isang bagay lang akong labis na nagustuhan sa kanyang libro, ‘yun ay ang pagiging totoo nito. Totoo sa paraang minsan nakikita ko ang sarili ko doon sa mga kwento nya, nakakasabay ako sa agos ng kwento. Sa ibang salita, hindi malayo ang istorya sa mga pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan ng bawat isa sa atin.

Ooopps, mukhang napapahaba na ito ah. Baka makwento ko na dito ang kwento nya. Ahaha

So paano ‘yan mga kaibigan kong mambabasa, hanggang dito na lang muna at kailangan ko na kayong ilipat sa orihinal na kwentong pag-ibig, ang Love is BLOG. Interesado kang malaman paano makabili ng libro? Kontakin lamang si Doctor Eamer sa email address nya (iamdoctoreamer@gmail.com) o bisitahin ang kanyang blog: https://iamdoctoreamer.wordpress.com/.

Hindi natin alam, baka dahil sa librong ito, mabago din ang buhay mo. Pero panigurado ako, lahat ng katanungan mo sa pag-ibig, mahahanap mo ang kasagutan dito. 😉

At sana makatulong itong bible verse para sa puso nyo mga kapatid:

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

Tin Ginete

Love is God, God is love. 🙂

English? Me? No More

(This is a post Independence Day tribute.)

May isang beses na ako’y tinanong: “Tin, para saan pa nga ba ang English?”

Marahil ito ay dala ng maling paniniwala na ang wikang Ingles ay lenggwahe ng mga nasa alta sosyedad or the elite of the society and mga scholars and professionals.

Nagtapos ako ng kursong BA English Studies sa Kolehiyo ng Arte at Literatura at napabilang sa isang academic organization na UP Lingua Franca. Base sa mga pagtuturo sa amin bilang English Studies majors, ang ibig sabihin ng “lingua franca” ay common language.

At ‘yun ang pakay ng pagkakaroon ng wikang Ingles – it bridges cultural barriers across the world. Kung ako ay tatanungin bakit kailangan pa natin maki-ayon sa kultura ng ibang tao at magkaroon ng interaksyon sa ibang parte ng mundo, para na rin akong tinanong ng “Alin ba ang gusto mo, bumalik sa makalumang primitive ages o sariwain ang makabagong panahon sa pamamagitan ng malinaw na pakikipag-komunikasyon?”

A common language means hindi lamang ito para sa mga mayayaman. On the contrary, it actually seeks to unify and never to diversify. It is for everybody’s use and advantage at kailanman hindi sukatan ang galing sa paggamit ng wikang Ingles sa katalinuhan ng isang tao sa pangkahalatan. That is, if IQ is concerned. May ibang aspeto ng pagaaral kung saan hindi lang ang galing sa tatas ng pagbigkas ng wikang Ingles at sa lawak ng mga salitang Ingles na alam ang magpapatunay sa isang tao na sya ay matalino.

Sa usapang “conyo,” kami noon ay binalaan ng mga propesor namin sa paggamit ng ganitong uri ng lenggwahe. Para sa kanila, combining two languages in a manner that does not sound correct in terms of syntax and sentence structure only becomes an abuse on both the English and the Filipino languages.

Nawawala ang katas ng bawat wika and its identity as two separate languages carrying in it its own beauty. Ideas are also thwarted when English and Tagalog are used in a “conyo” way. And once again, it is tagged as the language of the elite.

Which, I believe, is a misconception nowadays. Ginagamit sya na pagkakataon ngayon para mapabilang sa elite society. Hindi maaaring maging pamantayan ng alinmang wika ang pagiging matatas sa lenggwaheng “conyo.” ‘Yun lamang at akala ng karamihan speaking the language is “cool” thus mas accepted ka sa social circle that you want to fit in. And came the modern label for this language as “lenggwahe ng mga maaarte” – lahat ng mga ito ay hasty generalizations lamang at nangangailangan pa rin ng masinsinang pagaaral para mapatunayan kung ito nga ay totoo o hindi.

Ngunit may mga paraan gaya na lamang nitong sentence na ito wherein I was able to combine both the English and the Tagalog languages in a way that is not offensive ang dating at hindi masakit sa pandinig.

Ang pagkakaroon ng kalayaan sa pagpapahayag ay walang kinalaman sa uri ng wika na iyong ginamit o ginagamit. Halimbawa na lamang itong akda na ito, produkto ito ng pagpapahayag ng aking sariling mga saloobin na hindi man masasabing ito ang tama ngunit may layon namang magbigay ng ibang perspektibo at pananaw pagdating sa lenggwahe ng Ingles.

Practice using English at all times for it will connect you to the world. And yet speak in Filipino if you want your culture to be preserved. Once it is learned, it cannot be unlearned. For that is how a language develops throughout the years – one language being born after the other, a fusion of all types of languages and yet the basics will remain the same.

P.S.

Ang layunin ko talaga sa artikulong ito ay ang hindi ako mabansagang tumalikod sa pagmamahal sa aking sariling wika at ang mailahad ang kalayaan sa pamamahayag o freedom of expression. 🙂