Sa Gitna Ng Malalim Na Pag-iisip

Posted on June 15, 2026 by Christine Lailani

Disclaimer: Mahaba-haba itong post na ito at hindi ko alam kung kailan ulit ako makakapost. 🙂

Nabanggit ko sa nakaraang blog post na magso-social media hibernation ako as part of my personal prayer and fasting, but I thought mas maigi sigurong sumabay na lang ako sa mid-year prayer and fasting sa church, which will most likely fall in July siguro.

Because the pain I mentioned in that article is, I think, my cue already to schedule a doctor’s appointment asap. Though I have no other symptoms, it may have been just part of my PMS since I just had my period yesterday.

But just so I have peace of mind, I am planning on getting a medical checkup tomorrow. Kaya nitong nakaraang linggo, panay research na ako ng anything related to breast cancer from PhilHealth’s Z Benefit package, the YAKAP program, palliative care, at marami pang iba.

*As someone with OC tendencies, I have a knack for organizing stuff. I love details, and details love me back. Unlike Math. It just doesn’t love me back. Hays.*

Sa sobrang dami nga lang nitong mga nahanap ko, hindi ko na tuloy alam kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin. lol Seriously though, ito na ‘yung sinasabi ng mga breast cancer patients and all patients in general na sobrang exhausting and draining, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ang magkasakit. Andami mong aasikasuhin at iisipin. Siyempre, magastos din at goal ko na huwag magagalaw ang savings at huwag manghingi o manghiram ng pera.

So now, I am putting ChatGPT to the test again, kung kaya niyang i-synthesize lahat ng info na makukuha niya sa mga screenshots na ito na plan kong i-upload lahat sa isang prompt lang. Para mas comprehensive ang guide pero simplified and coherent version. Magagawa kaya ito ni ChatGPT? 😀

Acceptance As A Pathway To Peace

By the way, kasama na sa ginawa ko ang last love letter to my family na isi-send ko sa husband ko and sa family ko. It included steps on what to do kapag terminal stage na or palliative care here at home pati ‘yung sa insurances, medical and burial assistance, cremation, etc.

I also added a DNR (do not resuscitate) request if ever i-rush pa nila ako sa hospital, and that I prefer a 1-day wake and prayer vigil only. Yep, I am a nonconformist – I don’t follow cultural norms and traditions all the time. I also and always question the status quo, but I am very compliant naman with God’s laws. 😀

Ganyan ako mag-ayos ng mga bagay-bagay because I just love to plan. Pero syempre ni-remind na naman ako ni Lord na many are the plans of man, but it is God’s purpose that will prevail. I already planned everything kasi ayoko maging burden sa lahat ng aspeto sa loved ones ko when I get sick. Sobrang stressful on their end kapag wala kang habilin, and itong ginawa ko will make decision-making easier for them. Actually, for execution na lang talaga sya.

Right now I am doing a lot of mind conditioning for myself and si husband ay inuunti-unti ko na din. Kasama na din sa ni-research ko kung paano kapag hindi tanggap ng loved one mo ang terminal diagnosis mo, kasi siyempre dadaan din sila sa stages of grief at bawat tao may kanya-kanyang way and timeline to cope with a terminal diagnosis and eventually loss of a loved one.

ChatGPT Does It Like No Other

Now, let’s move to the fun part ng article kasi ayoko ito maging super heavy. Speaking of ChatGPT, ‘di ba nga ni-try ko ipa-edit ang 2×2 ID photo ko na gawin niyang bald dito sa article na ito kasi gusto ko lang makita how I’d look without any hair on and nag-malfunction siya. So, ni-try ko ulit kasi syempre favorite natin ang persuasion. Bumigay din si ChatGPT, and I was stunned by the result.

Kasi sabi ko lang sa prompt, eh breast cancer warrior ang babae, kaya dapat ang aura ay confident na sort of mala-women empowerment. Ayun, sinamahan na niya ng quotation sa gilid. O ‘di ba, winner talaga.

*Parang gusto ko na magpagupit ng ganito next week. lol Ang galing na talaga ng AI mang-convince.* 😀

Mission accomplished na sana, kaso napansin ko na sa unang photo na na-generate niya, ang laki ng ulo ko (mayabang daw ako sa tingin ni ChatGPT). Sabi ko kay ChatGPT, “Witchikels, sakit na breast cancer lang po ang meron itong babae, hindi po kasama ang hydrocephalus.” huhuhu

*Naubos ang image creation limit ko (up to 5 only sa free version ng ChatGPT) dahil pinapabago ko ang poses pati ang details sa background at sa outfit.* *Para lang ma-achieve itong “Crazy Rich Asian” na datingan ng photo na ito. Pero kapag ako talaga ‘yan, “Crazy Asian” lang. lol*

Sabi ko, i-adjust niya ang size ng ulo ng babae para mag-match sa body build niya. In fairness, nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ang tamang edits, and the photos above are the best results. At dahil natuwa ako sa resulta, na-curious ako kung ano kaya kung pagawin ko naman ang tousled crop look.

Hindi ko muna pinagamit ang 2×2 ID photo ko at baka magka-hydrocephalus naman tayo. Sinabi ko lang na Asian woman, and I included my basic facial features, i.e., heart-shaped face, chubby cheeks, dark brown hair, etc. At ang resulta ay maeenganyo ka talaga gayahin ang mga suggested looks ni ChatGPT. Galing, noh?

Kaya next prompt ko kay ChatGPT eh i-apply na niya sa picture ko ang hairstyle na ito. And voila, the AI-generated images look so posh, hindi na pinalaki ulo ko. Humble na daw kasi uli tayo. I styled this look and mga poses at nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ‘yung bet kong concept.

The top has to be pink, kasi ‘yun ang universal awareness color ng breast cancer. Although this will not be the first time kasi noong high school ako, I sported this short hairdo – part of my rebellious teen era, which I am not proud of, by the way.

Siyempre, dahil nag-e-enjoy tayo kay ChatGPT, umiral na naman ang creative side, kaya simula sa crew cut hairstyle na napunta sa tousled crop hanggang sa nilagyan ng headband, tapos ang ending ay fashion styling. At siyempre, background si Mt. Mayon. Slay ba, mga ‘teh? 😀

*Bet na bet ko itong may headband na scarf. Although ‘di nga masyado nakuha ni ChatGPT* *eksakto ang sa prompt ko kasi ang instruction ko sa kanya na nasa left side ng leeg ang knot ng scarf para sa mas edgy look.* *But I still love this look.*

‘Yung ganitong aura-han actually keribels siya kapag nasa UP Diliman ka. I wouldn’t think twice about wearing this while inside the Diliman campus; normal lang doon makakita ng mga extreme—nakapambahay na getup like bagong gising at nakasuot lang ng shorts, t-shirt, and tsinelas kasi late na sa klase at meron ding may nakatakong ng almost 1 foot na. Seryosooooo?!?!

Siyempre joke lang ‘yung 1 foot, basta mga very unique choices. We celebrate freedom of expression and creativity sa unibersidad, basta siyempre hindi offensive sa ibang tao. Kumbaga may limit pa din naman.

I would love to wear this here in Bicol sana, but most likely, I’ll be getting a lot of stares. Baka matawag pa tayong Disney Princess na galing sa Maynila. Or worse, nepo baby. Nepopotamus po siguro, pwede naman. Pero maganda rin mag-social experiment. Malay natin the mindset has shifted already, given na madami na gumagamit ng internet and social media.

I’ve already been seeing a lot of photos of brave women who shared their post-chemo and surgery pictures nila, because of breast cancer. I joined breast cancer support groups, by the way, on Facebook in 2023 after Mom passed away because of breast cancer. And one of these beautiful breast cancer warriors is Ms. Cams.

Her photos are BEAUTIFUL. She has a very pretty face (Coleen Garcia look-alike), but there is something about her aura that exudes confidence and a quiet strength, which makes her even more beautiful. And if ever ganito rin ang pagdaanan ko, gusto ko rin ng ganitong photos. Though for me, dahil nurturer ako, and I am ready to go na talaga, parang gusto ko alagaan si cancer, and I will just let it grow. lol

Waiting On God’s Will And Instructions

Seriously, death is only terrifying when we are not yet ready to go. And we will only be ready to go when there is peace in our hearts because of the following truths:

we have been saved by the Cross
we know that this world is only temporary
we believe we will see and will be reunited with our loved ones again, together with God, in the new Heaven and new Earth
we have faith that life in eternity is waaaaaay better.

I have this quiet resolve that whatever the diagnosis, whether I have stage 1 or stage 4 cancer, whether I have months or years to live, my perspective about death will never change – it is nothing to be feared, and it is an answered prayer. Why answered prayer? Who wouldn’t want to be with God in a place where everything is perfect? 😀

But then again, this is my wish. But what if God has another plan? Kasi meron ding desire sa puso ko na, if ever I have cancer and God wants me to survive it, I really want to be a volunteer patient assistant/coordinator/navigator. Nga lang, volunteering will require a lot of resources, time, and manpower. Kaya ang prayer ko kay God na bigyan Nya sana ako ng different sources of income that will give me more autonomy when managing my time, so I can still volunteer on the side.

May isa kasing incident noong 2023 sa isang Facebook group ng mga breast cancer warriors na hanggang ngayon hinding-hindi ko nakakalimutan. I shared an infographic from the Philippine Society of Medical Oncology about how to get treated kapag na-diagnose ng breast cancer, at may isang matandang babae who PMed me kung pwede ko daw syang samahan kasi 68 years old na sya and walang available to assist her.

I really would love to say yes, kaso at that time, I am still grieving over my Mom, and from Batangas sya tapos nasa Pasig City ako. Tsaka marami pa akong hindi alam about navigating through a breast cancer treatment as a patient. Pero naawa talaga ako sa kanya, ang sakit sa puso na I had to decline her request.

Marami pa akong need matutunan, like, paano ba ang sistema gaya ng pagpila kung ia-avail niya ang mga free treatments na ino-offer sa ating mga pampublikong ospital. Kaya sa tingin ko, kung mag-positive ako sa breast cancer and kahit ayawan ko ang medical treatment dahil siyempre stubborn ako, pero doon at doon din ako nili-lead ni God, I have no other choice but to obey in the end.

Sabi ko sa asawa ko na dito ko preferred sa Bicol magpa-checkup o magpagamot if ever. Tingin ko, lalo akong mase-stress sa traffic sa Manila, plus the metropolitan pollution might aggravate my allergic rhinitis at bababa ang immune system ko lalo.

Mas madali rin sa akin mag-commute via public transportation dito sa Bicol since plano kong mag-isa ko lang lalakarin ang lahat kasi gusto ko talagang matutunan kung paano ang pasikot-sikot ng sistema. At para malaman kung ano pa ang puwedeng ma-improve sa sistema to make it easier and more convenient sa mga kapwa pasyente.

Sa kaka-research ko, ang dami kong nahalungkat, pati ‘yung uso daw na mga kabitan sa medical field. Anyare algorithm at nasama ito sa research ko. Paki-explain please. Or else, off with your head, too. lol

Caring For The Community

Hindi ako most likely makakapasa as indigent, pero ang gusto kong tulungan kasi ay galing sa group nila. Hindi sa akin prob ang pumila nang mahaba kasi siyempre graduate ako ng University of Pila. Like ‘yung dito sa SMMG Medical Plaza sa Bulan na pipila sana ako ng mga 3am para kumuha ng slot para sa ultrasound ni Dad at every Saturday lang schedule nila.

Kaso, pag-research ko sa Fb, gabi pa lang na mga 10pm, pumipila na sila, tapos 35 lang daw ang slots, tapos 4am pa lang, puno na. I was shookt mga ‘teh. As in shakening shakening like that.

And yet, I am very GRATEFUL. Why?

May 35 na mga taga-Bulan ang nabibigyan ng serbisyong medikal gaya ng ultrasound bawat linggo. 35 na pasyente na ang nakatipid sa pamasahe para pumunta sa karatig na bayan at doon magpa-ultrasound. 35 na pasyente ang hindi bumyahe nang malayo o gumastos para sa pagkain nila.

Samantalang 10 years ago, marami ang deprived ng mga serbisyong pangkalusugang ito na, sadly, nakakadagdag sa mortality rate sa town. Kaya hindi na kami pumila, para ibigay na lang ang slot para sa mas nangangailangan na taga-Bulan. Dad can still travel pa naman at may sasakyan para comfortable ang byahe nya.

And another reason to be grateful is that may cardiologist na din sa Bulan, si Dr. Clarisse (Hi, Dra.!), Dad’s new cardio. She’s the first cardiologist, if I am not mistaken, in Bulan. We don’t have to go to Sorsogon City para sa follow-up checkup ni Dad every 3 months since kailangan ng close monitoring ang heart condition ni Daddy dahil 86 years old na sya and may Stage 5 CKD din.

Kaya hanga talaga ako sa mga doctors to the barrios and other health practitioners na mas pinili na manilbihan sa mga komunidad na malalayo sa kabihasnan. Hindi biro ang calling na ito, and it requires a lot of sacrifices. Sila na ang lumalapit sa mga komunidad para hindi na bumyahe nang malayo ang mga pasyente.

Parang ito ang counterpart ng Gurong Pahinungod, ang volunteer teaching program ng UP (w/ monthly stipend naman) na gusto ko rin sanang salihan, but I am only one, ang dami kong gustong gawin, and yet I cannot do everything. 😀

An Advocacy In The Making

Going back to BC cancer support groups, naghanap din ako kung merong breast cancer support groups sa Bicol sa Facebook. So far, Albay lang ang meron. Gusto ko gumawa din for Bulan or sa Sorsogon Province. Para mas madali ang breast cancer education para ma-raise ang awareness and ma-break ‘yung social stigma nila about having the illness or the medical treatments, in particular ‘yung chemotherapy kasi takot malagasan ng buhok or ‘yung mastectomy.

Isa sa nakikita ko na challenge ng mga galing dito sa Sorsogon ay ang transportation. Puwede magamit ang old Innova namin panghatid-sundo sana para sa lahat ng mga breast cancer patients sa Sorsogon if sa Sorsogon, Legazpi, or Naga pupunta. Need ko lang ng volunteer driver, kasi ayoko mag-drive when there are so many things running in my head tas sa pang-gas hanap pako ng magdo-donate, although may nakikita na akong prospect. 😀

Kausapin lang namin ang doktor namin kung puwede pare-pareho ang schedule ng appointments namin. Puwede kaya ‘yun? Sabihin ko, maggi-girl bonding kami sa ospital. Siyempre, maganda rin sana may free food and accommodation, especially if ang iba mag-u-undergo na ng treatments and traveling long distances nang tuloy-tuloy, e hindi advisable.

At kung indigents ang tutulungan, kahit basic needs salat sila, kaya hindi talaga nila priority ang pagpapagamot. Actually, if ma-diagnose ako with breast cancer, mag-a-agree lang ako to get medical treatments para ang libreng gamot na makuha ko, ibibigay ko sa breast cancer warrior who has young kids and ayaw na ayaw pa niyang mamaalam sa mundo because nafi-feel niya na madami pang pinapagawa sa kanya si Lord.

Altho sa accommodation, meron na akong nakikita din na host na possible can help us out. Kung nasa Manila ako, mabilis sana mag-organize ng ganito kasi ang mga friends ko doon, lalo na noong mga young professionals pa kami and single, ‘yung tipong kahit last-minute na invite para sa isang volunteering event, e go kaagad ang mga ‘yan.

‘Yung mga biglaang PM na “Hey girl, you free this weekend? Tara, volunteer tayo. No worries sa transpo and supplies, konting add na lang sa ganito ganyan.” 😀

Nga lang, feeling ko kami ‘yung mga grupo ng mga pasyente na maiingay kapag nasa ospital na. Kapag nakarinig kayo ng malalakas tumawa, alam na this. Siyempre, good vibes dapat, lalo na kung ang ibang pasyente e sobrang bigat talaga ng pinagdadaanan.

‘Yung tipong gusto ko silang biruin ng “Manay, huwag kang matatakot. Gusto mo sabayan kita papunta sa kabila. Pero syempre hatid lang kita. Kontratahin ko muna si Lord na bigyan ako ng return ticket. Kasi madami pa akong ia-assist sa Earth kaya need kong bumalik.”

Tapos bigla akong sinakal ni ate, noh, sabay sabing ayaw pa niyang mamaalam. Kaya ‘wag din basta-basta magbiro. Piliin ang tamang oras at tamang salita.

When God Plants A Dream

Pero honestly, ito talaga ang rason kaya nagkaroon ako ng hospice dream. I want patients to die with dignity because not all of us are privileged enough to die comfortably and surrounded by loved ones. Kahit man lang sa huling sandali, we give them the peace and comfort that they need lalo na kung hindi naman kayang mapunuan ang need na iyon sa bahay nila.

Right now, priority ko muna ang makapagpa-checkup, and I will let God lead me from there. Kaya ngayon, siyempre “ging-ot is life” muna ang motto natin. Panay gulay-gulay ang kinakain ko, kasama na ang 1 glass a day ng ni-blender na fresh malunggay leaves na may halong kalamansi, carrots, and cucumber. Being healthy means eating as much fiber and getting as many nutrients as you can.

Gaya nitong pinya sa aming bakuran. Benta ko sa inyo ng 300 pesos. Syempre, infleshun is realz. So yaaas, buy na plith. May kasama namang flying kick, este flying kiss ‘yarn. Joke lang, pang-garden-to-table lang po itong mga pinya namin.

Na hindi ko pa alam ang tawag. Sabi ko sa ate ko, ‘“Di ba Mariposa ito?” Sagot nya, “Ha? Butterfly kaya ‘yang mariposa.” Sagot ko, “Ay lam ko na, Hermosa tawag dito.” ‘Di na nya napigilan tumawa kasi apelyido daw ‘yun. Kaya to the rescue na si Daddy, Formosa pala tawag dito sa pinya namin sa bakuran. Maliliit pero super tamis.

Maganda din itong gawing smoothie. Parang kasing smoothie-fied ng mukha ko. Itong Oppo Kopong Kopong ko kasi pinagmumukha akong 20 years old sa filter nya. Buti pa si ChatGPT e pinagmumukha talaga akong 40 years old.

*I-normalize natin ang bacon neckline of pambahay clothes because why not.*

Wala po akong makeup dyan or anything. Kasi noong pumunta ako sa Watsons, nagpa-assist ako sa sales lady. Sabi ko, “Miss, anong compact powder kaya bagay sa akin kasi ang dami kong tan lines. Iba kulay ng mukha ko, iba din sa leeg, iba din sa braso, iba din sa kamay, tas iba sa binti, at iba din sa paa. Alin susundin natin?”

Tumawa na lang si Ate pero feeling ko gusto niya akong sagutin ng “Ma’am, bumili ka na lang po ng Johnson’s Baby Powder.”

Ayun, Johnson’s Baby Powder na nga lang talaga binili ko kasi naawa naman ako kay Ate sales lady. Hirap na hirap kasi siya pabalik-balik kakahanap ng magma-match sa zebra stripes ko. Mamaya hindi ko rin magamit kasi ayoko magmukhang nag-chinchansu.

Ayun lang po. End of the story na tayo kasi ang haba na nito. 99.9% na-convinced pala ako ni ChatGPT doon sa tousled crop look, kaya i-te-test ko one of these days ang predictive ability ni AI, na even without any 3D facial recognition involved, ang resulta ng tunay kong haircut ay tulad ng suggestion niya.

Kung hindi tugma ang resulta sa expectation, eh talagang hihingi na ako kay Lord ng sign kung will ba talaga Niya that I survive or exit na sa Earth.

Sabi ko kay Lord dapat ‘yung sign na ipapadala Niya ay kapag ang UP Diliman ay naging UP Liwanagan. ‘Yun, sure talaga ako na sign ‘yun na gusto pa Niya akong maghasik ng katatawanan sa mundong ito.

Siyempre joke lang ulit. Iba ang calling sa akin ni Lord na ihasik at ito ‘yun:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” – Luke 4: 18-19

*I ordered this last week and got it yesterday.*

Please pray for me and all those who are sick, and for God’s will to be done always. ❤ And don’t forget to smile and laugh always. 😀

P.S. May nahanap pala akong bagong playlist ng mga worship songs na papakinggan at Filipino Christian artists sila. Please do subscribe to their channel to show your support. Ang gogondo ng mga kanta nila. ❤

https://www.youtube.com/@TindigWorship

P.P.S.

I also found these scholarly journals and research on the role of spirituality in the healing and recovery of patients with breast cancer. I am praying that more research will be conducted on this topic here in the Philippines, including Filipina breast cancer survivors as respondents. I volunteer as a respondent, if ever, and pwede rin akong mag-research assistant. Basta, wala lang computation. lol

“What Does It Mean To Die With Dignity”

“A Systematic Review of Spiritually Based Interventions and Psychoneuroimmunological Outcomes in Breast Cancer Survivorship”

“Spirituality’s Impact on Cancer Treatment Outcomes”

“Exploring The Role of Faith in Survival of Breast Cancer”

“Effectiveness of Spiritual-Based Interventions in Enhancing Quality of Life Among Breast Cancer Patients: A Systematic Review”

“Integrating Prayer and Faith in Complementary Alternative Medicine Into Treating Breast Cancer: Lived Experiences”

“Effect of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Spiritual-Religious Intervention on Improving Coping Responses and Quality of Life Among Women Surviving from Breast Cancer”

“The role of spirituality in improving psychosocial well-being in women with breast cancer: a qualitative study”

“The Role of Spirituality and Religion in Improving Quality of Life and Coping Mechanisms in Cancer Patients”

More Music Videos For The Souls In Battle:

Just Sharing – My Unusual Energy Of Other-Worldliness:

I slowly integrated Torti, our twenty-something-year-old male turtle, into our garden. It looks like he is nestled in quite comfortably.

This is one of the baby fruit bats that have been falling off the house’s roof vent as the heat index here in our town reaches 48 degrees Celsius. The effects of (super) El Niño on our wildlife will be critical. I pray for these creatures that they will survive.

This dragonfly has entered my bedroom, probably to cool itself down from the scorching heat outside. It breaks my heart that these little creatures will be the first to go when the effects of climate change worsen in the coming years. 😦

*Tarantula in the house – only in the prabens.* 😀

Beyond Labels: Securing My Identity In Jesus Christ

Posted on February 4, 2026 by Christine Lailani

This is a topic I have long wanted to include on my blog. But due to its sensitivity, I thought I’d wait for the right time instead. It looks like this is now the right time to post it. With everything that is happening around us lately, it wouldn’t be a surprise if there is a growing anxiety among the general public, even among those who seem to keep it all together.

Questions such as whether the economy will take a complete downturn in the coming years, or whether climate change effects can be abated or not, are taking center stage in almost every news outlet. Death tolls continue to rise in every part of the world, and not to mention the geopolitical tensions that never seem to end.

We don’t have to be reminded about the ongoing local political clamor, religious persecution, inflation, and employment layoffs, which add up to the instability that the world is going through now. It’s no wonder mental health issues also increased in every age group – labels that now seem to define who we are.

Depression, for one, has had a significant increase over the last decade or two, according to a study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research. In the US, for example, research showed mental health issues are prevalent among young adults. While some of the causes include environmental factors, we also cannot dismiss those who are genetically predisposed to have these mental illnesses, such as Bipolar Disorder.

A Testimony of Grace In The Midst of Depression

This article will be coming from the perspective of an undiagnosed individual. I have experienced depression, but I just can’t say if it’s Single Episode Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Situational Depression. By the way, just for context, and I don’t share this often, but since this article will be a testimony of some sort, I’ll mention briefly how I’ve had two suicide attempts (both failed) before I became a born-again Christian.

I won’t delve into details because, as I have learned in the past seminars I attended in church, when you share a testimony, keep the bad part short and the salvation part longer – God has to take the spotlight and not the enemy. 🙂

The second attempt was what pivoted me to be born again in 2012, and why this blog was born (October 2012). After that, I still had some suicidal thoughts, but they’re all just passing thoughts. In the succeeding paragraphs, I’ll be sharing the importance of salvation, being born again, conducting research on mental illnesses, looking for support, and seeking professional help.

I did not seek any professional help (I also kept it a secret from my family), though I am willing to do so if worse comes to worst. Some people are not aware that they are suffering from a mental illness, some are aware but choose not to seek medical intervention (like me), and some badly need all the support that they could get.

The last ones are mostly severe cases. And I was able to witness one, and the experience allowed me to see what goes on inside a psychiatric facility. It is heart-wrenching. That is the only word I will use to describe it. I am praying God will provide more opportunities to help those who are afflicted by severe mental health problems, from more psychiatrists, more support for the family, to more accessible and affordable health care benefits.

Going back to what I experienced, I will describe the season as if you were in a dark pit. It is as if the darkness around you is drowning you, you can’t breathe, and you just can’t see any way out. There is this deep heaviness inside you that doesn’t seem to go away, no matter how positive you try to be. And there are just so many extreme emotions going on inside of you.

My Journey To Becoming Born-Again

When I was just a newbie born-again Christian, every time I looked back on that experience, I would cry uncontrollably. I guess it is the overwhelming feeling of being saved when you thought all hopes were lost. ‘Yung feeling na hindi pa pala katapusan ng lahat, meron pa palang paraan. And I found that hope when I got to know who Jesus Christ is. It was like all the burden I carried was lifted, and I just started looking at things from a different perspective.

This last one is the ultimate game changer. Because when you start to see yourself as part of a bigger picture, you realize that your problems aren’t really as big as they seem. They are just part of a master plan necessary to mold you into becoming more like Jesus Christ. While knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior didn’t diminish all my problems, and I still have problems 13 years after being saved, I now seem to have this boldness of spirit to move forward, which I know did not come from my own strength.

So where did it come from? I’ll tell you a bit of the process of being born again, but this will be from the church that helped me with my spiritual journey. I’m not sure if the process is different or the same for other churches. I’ve had my water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit at Victory Katipunan. It isn’t a one-day event; that is why your patience will be tested throughout the process, but it will make you realize how badly you need a personal relationship with the Lord.

(You may read more about my experience here: “Lordship: The Life After.”)

During the baptism of the Holy Spirit, one pastor laid his hands on me during the intercession. And I think that’s the time that my spiritual gift was awakened, which gave birth to this blog. I have always been passionate about writing. There is something about written words that I absolutely love.

Putting My Spiritual Gift To Good Use

I was gifted with the ability to see connections and patterns, most especially in words. As a professional, I use this skill to organize, analyze, set up systems, create written content, and perform tasks that require deep mental focus. I think my love for words is one of the main reasons why I passed UPCAT and got in at UP Diliman, because I got very high scores in the English tests (around 96%), even if I failed horribly in Math (like 70% or lower :-D), and got average scores in Science, Filipino, and History. Thank you, UP Diliman, for giving me a chance to be an Iskolar ng Bayan. ❤

There’s actually one incident wherein I wasn’t hired for a job position that I applied for, and the friend who referred me and actually worked in that company wasn’t promoted because I aced the English exam during my pre-employment assessment. They thought my friend gave me a cheat sheet, which wasn’t true.

I just have this fascination with written words, and my brain seems to remember highfalutin words even if I read them only once. Though the downside is that I don’t often remember the context where they were used, so my common error back then (before there was Google) was misused words in a sentence. I still commit that mistake until now, when I am feeling too lazy to search for the meaning of the word on the internet. 😀

This blog did not just pave the way for my spiritual gift, but it also helped me manage my depression. It became my online journal, and I get to process my emotions and give all my experiences an afterthought here. I think this is very important when it comes to self-regulation.

8 Practical Tips To Improve Your Mood

I have found the following tips very helpful if you want to boost your mood. The internet has a lot of them, actually, but these are what work for me, and I am praying they will help you, too, one way or another.

1. Read Your Bible And Pray Every Day

For an introvert like me, I love isolation, and being in a room all day long is normal for me. But this is also where danger comes in. The moment I am alone with my thoughts, the enemy will start to infiltrate them with all sorts of negative thoughts. My defense for this is the Word of God.

It is best if you set aside time reading the Scripture upon waking up and before going to bed. I prefer the bedtime Bible reading because everything is quiet. In the morning, I read daily devotionals like Our Daily Bread and YouVersion Daily Devotional, and watch the Morning Worship and Prayer of Victory Philippines on YouTube.

And don’t forget to make praying a daily habit. In fact, prayer must be your number one weapon during spiritual warfare. My favorite line is this: “No weapon formed against me by the enemy shall prosper, by the name and by the blood of Jesus Christ.” Say it again and again and again when you are having self-destructive thoughts.

2. Connect With Nature

You just have to love Mr. Sun for that much-needed Vitamin D. Go out and spend a lot of time outdoors surrounded by nature, and marvel at God’s wonderful creations. Walking also has a lot of benefits according to medical experts. It increases your dopamine, it helps you burn calories, it slows down aging, and the list just goes on and on.

3. The More Hobbies, The Better

Introverts and empaths are prone to depression because of isolation. They are also more likely to see things in retrospect and internalize everything. Having a lot of hobbies will help refocus from inward to outward. Plus, you get to learn a new skill, which might come in handy for future tasks that God will ask you to do. I have a very wide range of hobbies because I love learning, so I am always trying new experiences, good ones.

4. Listen To Worship Songs And Sing Along

Even if you don’t know how to sing, I suggest memorizing a couple of worship songs by heart. I find them very helpful when I am in a difficult situation, and I can’t seem to get out of it asap. I hum silently, and if it is okay to sing, I sing aloud. It really does change my mood, especially when I am feeling angry, nervous, fearful, or anxious.

5. Eat Healthy

I admit I don’t eat healthy sometimes. If I am seeing a doctor regularly, I’d definitely get a good spanking, I mean, a long lecture on the importance of eating healthy. 😀 I do try to be intentional in eating healthy foods, that’s why I have been experimenting with growing my own vegetables in our garden, and also for sustainability purposes.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t maximize the harvests because most of them died during the onslaught of several typhoons last year. I also found out that the soil in our garden is not suitable for growing vegetables since its composition is more clay than loam. I plan to adopt new planting methods and strategies for the new batch (hopefully this summer) to keep them alive, God willing, until harvest time.

6. Learn Your Triggers

Take note of what triggers you to have a meltdown or be in a depressive state. There are so many triggers around you, and most of them are out of your control, so try to avoid them if you can. If you can’t, then try coming up with a plan such as setting boundaries, learning to say “no,” doing social media fasting, or learning techniques to relax and destress while you are in a difficult situation.

Try to keep your mind off what triggers you by shifting your focus to what you will learn from the experience. As our church leaders would say, the best question to ask during difficult moments is this: “What is God trying to teach me in this season?”

7. Identify The Right Support Group

I know I will be biased if I say that you have to choose the people with whom you share your problems. For me, being part of a Bible study group connected me to spiritual mentors and coaches who can pray for me and, at the same time, I get to learn from their experiences and study the word of God, too, in a safe setting.

Although every Bible study group will be different, and all the members are flawed individuals, healing and seeking God’s grace, too. In my opinion, the best way to cope with depression is a combination of spiritual support and medical help, especially for severe cases. Try to make a self-assessment of whether your depression will go away or not, just by doing the tips I have mentioned above, or if you need more support or extra help professionally.

8. Self-Awareness Is Key

Depression doesn’t have a face. Sometimes the smiling person who seems to be so carefree is actually the one who is 90% convinced that suicide is the only way out, compared to a person with a glum look, but still manages to do regular tasks like a normal person. There is such a thing as high-functioning depression, by the way, although it is not a clinical diagnosis (officially). After being born again, I became pro-life – every life now matters to me. Regardless if it’s as small as an ant or as huge as a century-old tree.

Salvation made me appreciate life more.

I guess this is what it means to be empowered by the Holy Spirit – a total paradigm shift devoid of any labels. While the world defines empowerment as confidence and loud, I believe there is also such a thing as quiet empowerment. This, I think, is how the Holy Spirit works in us and what empowerment looks like under a spiritual lens.

It is not loud, but it is bold. It may not be fluent, but it is intentional. It may have hesitations, but it still moves forward. It isn’t all-knowing, but carries Godly wisdom. And this is how we secure our identities in Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

I am closing this article with a video from yesterday’s Morning Worship and Prayer led by one of the pastors (Pastor Christian Flores) from Victory Katipunan, where I had my “baby steps” as a born-again Christian. This church will always hold a very special place in my heart.

It’s not just a memorable place for me, but every person that I encountered in that church when I was attending services there played a major role in my transformation to become the person that I am now, starting from the pastors, small group leaders, spiritual mentors, co-volunteers, to other sisters and brothers in Christ. I had my altar call at the Victory Katipunan’s Singles’ Getaway in 2012, by the way.

Who knows, you might be next, too. 😉

P.S. Nami-miss ko na ang UP Diliman, kailan kaya makadalaw ulit at makasimba sa mga Victory churches doon? 😀 Also, I am not a theologian or a medical professional; please feel free to correct me if there is any misinformation in some of the details I have posted above. I will very much appreciate it. 🙂

P.P.S. After being born-again, there will be people who will test your faith, and if indeed you are now practicing what you preach. You will fail in some instances, but I pray it may not be the reason to turn your back on faith. Keep moving forward, we are all suffering the same kind of persecution. Let’s all carry our own crosses because we are all one in this suffering as we are the body of Christ. Don’t forget that Christians all over the world are praying with you in spirit. ❤

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12

“This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.” – 1 John 1: 5

“For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” – Ephesians 5:8

“You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” – Psalm 18:28

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“I praise You (Lord), for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139:14

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” – Philippians 1:6

Praise The Lord!

Posted on December 4, 2025 by Christine Lailani

It’s that time of year again when everybody will be busy – I am always busy, though. 😀 But because I feel the “tugging” to update this blog, I am writing this article even though I am physically exhausted. When I am too tired, it’s just hard for me to tap into the creative part of my brain.

Before we all get caught up with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I thought I’d share with you a song that I feel should be the “anthem” for this month. I first heard it last year, sang during the youth service of a church beside my apartment. The song is entitled “Praise” by Elevation Worship.

PRAISE (feat. Brandon Lake, Chris Brown & Chandler Moore) | Elevation Worship

Let’s clap, one, two, hey
Oh, yeah

Let everything
That has breath
Praise the Lord (you got it)
Praise the Lord
Let everything (let everything)
(Hey) that has breath
(Hey) praise the Lord
(Hey) praise the Lord

I’ll praise in the valley
Praise on the mountain (yeah)
I’ll praise when I’m sure
And praise when I’m doubting (yes, sir)

I’ll praise when outnumbered
Praise when surrounded
‘Cause praise is the water
My enemies drown in

As long as I’m breathing
I’ve got a reason to

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (c’mon)
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (hey)

I’ll praise when I feel it
And I’ll praise when I don’t
I’ll praise ’cause I know
You’re still in control

Because my praise is a weapon
It’s more than a sound (more than a sound)
Oh, my praise is the shout
That brings Jericho down (oh)

As long as I’m breathing
I’ve got a reason to

Praise the Lord (c’mon)
Oh, my soul
(So I’m gonna) praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (oh)

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
So how could I keep it inside?
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul
(Praise the Lord)

Come on, let me see that dance
Put a dance on it tonight
If you’re grateful
Come on, aye, aye (eh)

I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign
Praise ’cause You reign
Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave
I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful
Praise ’cause You’re true
Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You, I’ll praise

I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign
(You reign) praise ’cause You reign
Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave

I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful
Praise ’cause You’re true
Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (come on, come on, come on, come on)
I gotta praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (yes, my Lord)
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
How could I keep it inside?
(Oh, I won’t be quiet)

I won’t be quiet (my God)
My God is alive (how could I?)
How could I keep it inside?
(Oh, I won’t be quiet)

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
How could I keep it inside?

praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

Let everything
That has breath
Hey, hey (praise the Lord)
Hey, hey (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
Come on, come on (that has breath)
Come on, come on (praise the Lord)
Come on, come on (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
If you got breath in your body (that has breath)
If you got breath in your body (praise the Lord)
Praise the Lord, come on (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
That has breath (that has breath)
Praise the Lord (praise the Lord)
What? (Praise the Lord)

A busking rendition of it also appeared on my Facebook news feed as performed by Ms. Kate Torres, who’s also an Autism advocate. Please do check out and follow her page through this link: https://www.facebook.com/katetorrestv/about. I am praying she’ll include Bicol in her future live performances. I’ll definitely be in all of them, even as far as Catanduanes. 😀

I love busking so much (playing the guitar is also my favorite hobby) because it is raw and simple music, highlighting only the artist’s voice and the musical instrument. I find this type of music very calming, uplifting, and soulful.

It is also my prayer that worship busking will become a regular, not just inside the malls, but also in parks, offices, hospitals, and just literally EVERYWHERE. Here are some of her Facebook videos and reels performing live in my favorite hangout place in Manila – BGC. Because BGC is near our condo, and there are a lot of music artists busking there. 😀

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/177L8eQ8gs/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1D8Vv6oRaB/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1KKQCbB5wA/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Tama ang sa Bible verse na, “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” – Matthew 18:20

I also encourage you to make this your dance number at your Christmas parties. 😉 You can check out the dance videos below for inspiration.

The energy in this first video reminds me of my spiritual journey in Victory GT Toyota and Victory Katipunan – churches near the Ateneo de Manila University and my alma mater, the University of the Philippines (Diliman) – from 2013 to 2018. I was a young professional back then, and being in a congregation of jumping worshippers composed mostly of students (youth service) during praise and worship is contagious. I am not that expressive when singing worship songs, but with an ecstatic crowd, you can’t help but join in the fun. 😀

I am not promoting any church, by the way, because I actually came from a family with diverse religions. For me, as long as the center of the church is Christ and you are spiritually growing, be in that church.

This second dance video has more complicated footwork and hand movements, but still not too difficult to execute.

And this third video is for “Zumba Titas,” me included. 😀

I would have to skip videos #1 and #2 because all the jumping is so “makulog” sa aking likod. 😆😆😆

In case you didn’t notice, I used 3 languages here – English, Bicol, and Filipino respectively.

If I have a kid, he’d most likely go, Moooooom, you’re speaking “chop suey” language again?!?!?!

Well, sweetheart, that’s the advantage of having a Mom who’s a Bicolana, a Filipina, and an English Studies major. How about you? Can you try the “pinakbet” language, too? Kay yaadi ka sa Bulan, mag-Bikol ka. 😆

Seriously, though, I don’t encourage using this kind of language. When I was a student in UP Diliman, there was a particular department notorious for using this “conyo” language (it’s from the College of Science 😁). I observed that culturally it represents the language of the elite, though I can’t really pinpoint how. I guess it’s similar to how branded clothes, muscle cars, or pets with specific breeds become a form of status symbol. I support the “Adopt, Don’t Shop” advocacy, by the way. It just so happens that my husband gave me a ginger Exotic British Shorthair as a surprise gift.

Society’s norms dictate that if you have these things, then you are now culturally accepted as “can afford” or “maykaya,” especially when you live in the province. Some of our English professors describe the “conyo” language as a total abuse of both the English and the Filipino languages because it awkwardly breaks your sentences into fragments, making it difficult for your listeners to process and understand. So in our department, this language sort of became an object of sarcasm and was made into a joke.

But now, when I hear people talk or write using this language, I have to remind myself that “to each his own.” And that, as a born-again Christian, these prejudices should no longer dominate my relationships with other people. This means I will no longer make fun of the “conyo” language, but you won’t hear me using this language either. Unless…um…never mind. 😁

To end this article, AI can create music, poems, and visual art. But AI can’t replicate the collective experience that you’d get when artists and creatives come together. It’s just plain mesmerizing and at the same time overwhelming when you are physically rejoicing and celebrating with the body of Christ. Ramdam na ramdam mo ang presensya ni Lord. I guess that is the power of fellowship as expressed through praise and worship.

I believe this song is just right for the season – let’s praise the Lord because we survived 2025, and here we are still hoping AND giving hope moving forward. ❤

“Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works!” – Psalm 105:2

P.S. I am posting several versions of this song because I want it to be your last song syndrome for a month. lol Because God indeed deserves all our praise for sending His son, Jesus Christ, so man can be saved – this should be the only reason for celebrating the season. 🙏

Here’s another version featuring Tiffany Hudson. ❤

Officially A Teen: Happy 13th Birthday, The Journeyman’s Moments!

Posted on October 28, 2025 by Christine Lailani

This blog turned 13 last October 21 – it’s officially a “teen.” 😄 To celebrate this milestone, I thought about writing a letter instead because I need to write this quick.

We have had no internet connection for 2 weeks now, despite following up with Converge. I’m currently using my cellular network’s data just so I could post this – thank you, Globe. Still, God is good all the time. 🙏😊

To my dearly beloved The Journeyman’s Moments,

You were born in 2012 out of a need to clear my name from a painful past. I never thought that you would become an online journal for my spiritual journey.

I also wasn’t expecting that I’d be able to post here regularly. And yet, the weekly posts turned to monthly posts, and eventually, to posting every year.

You bear witness to my every rise and fall, to my every tear and laughter – a testament of God’s saving grace day in and day out, year in and year out.

As my experiences grew, you grew with it. When I became wiser, your words became better. I changed, you changed, too.

You are more than an online journal for me. Because you are my constant reminder of a life lived in full despite the changing seasons.

When I need a good laugh, I come back to the old memories here. When I need encouragement, your words give me renewed hope and comfort.

But I guess the most important reason as to why you’re one of God’s greatest gifts is that because of you, a deeper sense of accountability was instilled in me over every single word I post here.

You are my testimony on how living by faith does not happen by mere words alone, but by living it out and letting it be known through you for the whole world to see.

My dear, we still have so many stories to tell – I have more than a hundred drafts. lol You know what that means, we have a lot of work to do for as long as God is still working in us. 🥰

You are me, and I am you. Thanks be to WordPress – our memories will be preserved for future generations to laugh with, to cry with, and to be inspired by.

So, with internet or not, we will find a way to make our stories seen and heard – God will make a way. 😁

Always your creator made by another Creator,

Christine ❤️

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

Leadership & Leadership Development

Posted on December 12, 2024 by Christine Lailani

There is something about learning that fascinates me so much as a kid until now that I never pass up any opportunity to learn from anyone and from anywhere. Yet my spiritual mentors are my favorite go-to sources when it comes to exhortations that are all encompassing, meaning you can relate to them in every area of your life.

Here’s an encouraging message by one of my favorite church leaders, Pastor Pinky Katipunan, about leadership, which we can all relate to when raising future leaders from this generation:

P.S. This is not exactly related to the topic, but I just want to share it to those who are interested in attending the UAAP 87 FINALS Game 3 between De La Salle University and University of the Philippines (my alma mater) this Sunday, December 15, at the Araneta Coliseum.

If you’re an Iskolar ng Bayan, don’t miss it. It will be one of the most memorable experiences during your student days in UP that you’ll ever get to reminisce. Oh, and don’t forget to memorize UP Naming Mahal by heart and sing it with such fervor for your unforgettable “tindig balahibo” moment during the countdown in the game’s last quarter. 😉

Padayon, Peyups! ✊🙏

Here’s a snippet from yesterday’s Game 2: https://www.facebook.com/share/r/bzGWs9UMj6mWrZYs/

Dahil hindi maka-attend, hanggang Fb Reels na lang muna. 😄

***UAAP 87 FINALS GAME*** ***3: DLSU vs UP***

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3

***UPDATE as of Dec. 15, 2024: Congratulations UP Men’s Basketball Team – UAAP 1987 BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT CHAMPION! Wohoo! 💪✊♥️😊🙏

Getting Lost In Legazpi City (Not Really)

Posted on November 25, 2024 by Christine Lailani

What started initially as a quick visit to the Globe Store at SM City Sorsogon ended up with me commuting via public transportation to Legazpi City and getting lost there. lol Nope, I wasn’t really lost. I know exactly where I’m going, all thanks to Google Maps. Let’s just say it’s my first time commuting to Legazpi City and exploring places there alone.

And if I sound like I’m speaking with such naivety, that’s because I led a very sheltered life while growing up here in Bicol. I only got to explore different cities when I studied in Manila during college and lived there during the latter half of my adult years until just recently when I came back to Bicol to live here for good.

It looks like God wanted me to explore Bicol this time, and He’s starting with the major cities in the region. Naga City is just too far from where I live now. But an aunt of mine (Mom’s sister) lives in Naga, so we still get to explore the city every time we visit her and her family.

By now, you are most probably wondering what really happened while I was in Legazpi City. Let’s start first with what exactly happened that prompted me to go there and stay there for the night all unplanned. For someone like me who is a planner, this was a very unconventional move and required all the courage (and guts?) in me. lol

The decision came easy though. As a risk taker, my mindset is that I have to accomplish what needs to be done. And if I need to act fast, then I will have no second thoughts about it. Equipped with my life verse (Philippians 4:13), this was how I ventured out into the streets of Legazpi City with just a small bag with me.

I only informed my husband because if I told my family, I know they wouldn’t allow it (I love you, guys 😁✌️). I was also doing the errand on my husband’s behalf. It was for his postpaid plan renewal with Globe.

We renewed it online, but it wasn’t successful. Our attempts to talk to customer service online were also unsuccessful, so I just decided to pay a visit to the Globe Store in SM City Sorsogon. But to my dismay, they already closed their branch in this mall.

So I searched the net for other Globe Stores near the area. I do found a couple of them, but they’re all in Legazpi City. I then went to SITEX, looked for a UV Express going to Legazpi City, and asked if they pass along Pacific Mall. It’s just an hour’s ride from Sorsogon City to Legazpi City, just the same as if I’m traveling to my hometown (Bulan) from Sorsogon City.

Why did I choose Pacific Mall? Because I was planning to hit two birds with one stone and make the best out of my unplanned trip to Legazpi City. First is to look for the regional office of DFA in Pacific Mall because I am already way overdue for my passport renewal. Second, I’m planning on attending one of the church services of Victory Legazpi when I’m in the city, and the church happened to be in Pacific Mall, too.

Unfortunately, when I got to Pacific Mall, I was told by the lady guard that the Globe Store already closed during the pandemic. So, I just searched for the DFA office and I was overjoyed to see that Victory Legazpi is just beside it. It was mission accomplished for me for these two objectives.

But as for my main objective, I still have to find a Globe Store in the city. SM Legazpi is next on my list which is just a couple of blocks away from Pacific Mall. I rode the tricycle from Pacific Mall to SM Legazpi and paid 35php for the fare (dear Albayanos, kindly advise me if I’ve been scammed lol).

When I got to SM City Legazpi, I finally found a Globe Store, and they were able to assist me with my request on behalf of my husband. Though I didn’t expect the plan renewal process to take about 4 hours. I arrived around 2 in the afternoon. By 5 pm, I already decided to search for nearby hotels where I could spend the night since I didn’t want to come back to get the phone that came with the postpaid plan.

I asked the UV Express when I boarded it en route to Legazpi what time usually is their last trip and the driver told me it’s around 7 pm. I will be a buzzer-beater if I’m going to make it to the last trip, and I don’t want to unleash my Kraken at the Globe Store so they can speed up the renewal process. lol The customer service representative who assisted me also suggested I can do other errands while waiting.

*Mt. Mayon doesn’t want to be seen from SM City Legazpi’s food hall. Enough with the hiding and show yourself already.* 😀

It’s a good thing I found a nearby hotel right away that fits my budget and inquired over the phone if they had an available room for that night. The receptionist informed me they still had 1 room left. The hotel is also less than 5 minutes away from SM City Legazpi.

By around 6 pm, I was done with the errand at Globe Store. I decided to just take out food for my dinner and eat it at the hotel, and buy my toiletries and clothes that I’ll be using and wearing the next day. It’s my #1 rule to never stay out late at night when in a foreign place and you’re alone.

When I got to the hotel, the only room available had 2 twin beds. It didn’t really matter as long as I had a safe and cozy place to stay for the night. The room was also clean and smelled nice.

*It’s my first time to stay in a hotel alone, too.* 😀

*Tired but happy and grateful for God’s leading, protection, and provision* *as a first-time commuter in Legazpi City.* 🙏

*I slept like a log the entire night* *on both beds without rearranging them. I’ll let you try to figure out how I did that. Hint: my head’s on one bed and my feet on the other bed. lol*

Though I think the bathroom’s floor needed a little bit of extra cleaning, and the shower fixture is also broken. You can’t use the shower at night, too, because the water pressure is not strong enough so I requested a pail and tabo. And they gave me a pail that looks like they use it to clean their floors. 😁✌️

The bottles for the shampoo and body wash were also empty, so I requested a refill, which they did right away. They also didn’t give me toothpaste and a toothbrush upon checking in, but I didn’t bother asking because I won’t use them anyway since I already brought my own.

I do love their lounge area though. They offer free water from their hot and cold water dispenser. But if you want to drink coffee, you need to pay 20php. You can also use their WiFi for free. I also appreciate the staff for being accommodating enough to assist me with my requests. It’s a budget hotel, so I wasn’t really expecting much except for a clean and safe place to stay near the malls. Overall, I’d still give my stay at the hotel 4 stars out of 5. 👍

*I’m not a coffee lover because it keeps me wide awake at night.* *But if I have nothing much to do the next day, a cup won’t hurt.*

*Jamaican Pattie and greens for bfast because why not.* 😀

*You can see SM City Legazpi from the hotel. Nope, not that blue, small roof. SM can’t be that small. lol*

By the way, the public transport terminal is located just beside SM City Legazpi. So if you’ll be commuting via public transportation going to and coming from Legazpi City, it’s best to find hotels within the area. When I checked out from the hotel at 11 am, I went straight to SM City Legazpi. And I found out that that day, November 13, was also the first day of screening for the movie “Hello, Love, Again” starring Kathryn Bernardo as “Joy” and Alden Richards as “Ethan.”

Since it was still early and I didn’t want to wait at the UV Express terminal for other passengers bound for Sor Ci, I decided to watch the movie and got the 12nn slot. The queue at the ticketing booth was already a bit long when I lined up at around 11:30 am. I was expecting this to be a blockbuster movie, so I thought it’s best to watch it during a weekday and during the mall’s opening hours to avoid long queues.

The movie ran for 2 hours and ended at 2 pm. Ah yes, all I can ever say is that I am giving the movie a 10/10 rating because the storyline was excellently delivered, and the details were carefully drafted. I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it yet.

*The early birds for the highest grossing film in the history of the Philippine cinema.*

*Here’s my tip if you feel like crying over a scene, focus on the other details of the movie except for the actors’ faces. Believe me, it works. lol*

By the way, it’s also my first time to watch a movie alone, so yes, this spontaneous trip to Legazpi City was full of “firsts” for me. But the experience was truly memorable, remarkable, and definitely one for the books. It looks like God has been ticking off items on my bucket list that I never even listed down, but God knows I needed them. lol I guess, they were and are part of His plans.

*Please excuse my puffy, morning face. I just need to take a photo of this bright, yellow* *bathroom* *sink because it goes well with my blue outfit.* 😀

Legazpi City is on its way to building more healthcare facilities, which means being able to cater and offer extended healthcare services to more Bicolanos. Sorsogon City also has its very first Cancer Treatment Center. The development of these projects is currently ongoing. And I have a strong feeling this advocacy that God has called me to take part in has something to do with them. But while waiting for these projects to be completed, God is allowing me to get to know the community first. And get to know them really well.

I believe it isn’t a coincidence that I was called to live here in Sorsogon City, which is in-between Bulan and Legazpi City. All these three places will play key roles in God’s plans for the local communities in the coming years. Ah yes, sometimes God’s plans can be too overwhelming to decode. And yet it is not our purpose to know His plans, but it is His will for us to act on the tasks that He asked us to do. Even if it means going on an unplanned and spontaneous trip to a foreign city all by yourself. 😀

And because the spontaneity in Legazpi City was a positive experience for me, though I also feel it was God’s calling, I plan on doing a staycation in the city on my birthday this year. But this time, it’s planned. And this will also be the first time that I’ll be celebrating my birthday alone (I am spending the holidays with my family).

Next year, I am hoping to celebrate my birthday with patients who can’t be with their families during the holidays just to help spread the holiday cheer. So, I am currently on the lookout for opportunities that will allow me to do this. I guess this is the calling of being born three days ahead of Jesus Christ. 😉

I still have a lot of places to explore in Legazpi City, and I might plan a solo backpacking trip to tourist sites in the area some other time. I still have to pray about the idea of solo backpacking though because my first concern is my safety. I also don’t want my husband and my family to worry.

And speaking of prayer, oftentimes, it is the Spirit who urges us to go someplace else and somewhere far, so we can be alone and pray in peace. Jesus did this several times in the Bible, and sometimes He’s gone for several days. It looks like this is the perfect way to end this year and before I get busy with the holiday celebrations – a deeper contemplation on what was and what will be and yet still be grounded with the present on what God wants me to do now.

How do you plan on spending this year’s holiday season? I hope and pray that you still have time to do some quiet reflection amidst the busy holiday preparations, parties, and gatherings and get to contemplate God’s calling and purpose for you and your family next year and the years to come. He is the reason for the season, anyway. 🙏

“Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” – Jeremiah 29:7

P.S. I guess it isn’t a coincidence that the land that God has brought me in this season is called “The Land of Kasanggayahan” or “The Land of Prosperity.” 🙂

More About The City and The Province of Sorsogon: The Land of Kasanggayahan

Posted on August 23, 2024 by Christine Lailani

It looks like the #everyFridayblogpost is making a comeback. 😉 I am praying I can commit to the schedule though. Meanwhile, here’s a continuation of my “firsts” in Sorsogon City.

But first, I’d like to share a little bit of info about the Province of Sorsogon also known as “The Land of Kasanggayahan.” “Kasanggayahan” means prosperity, and the entire province celebrates its foundation through the Kasanggayahan Festival. It is almost a month-long celebration held from October 14 – October 28. If you’d like to know more about the activities lined up for this year’s Kasanggayahan Festival, you may check out the Facebook page of the Sorsogon Provincial Tourism, Culture, and Arts Office.

A Journey of Faith

I am documenting this new season being in a new place surrounded by new faces because I want to look back on the experience someday and see the goodness of the Lord and how He has kept His promises though I was doubtful and fearful to obey at first. My coming to live here in Sor Ci isn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision.

It was already a calling from God, which He already revealed in 2019 through this perfect rainbow (my first) that my husband and I saw in Albay en route to Manila. And along with the perfect rainbow, this was the Bible verse that God has communicated to me:

“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15

The Continuation

So, what are my other “firsts” in the city? I am going to start with “ukay-ukay.” lol This part of the city has lots of “ukay-ukay” shops, and it is so tempting to hoard because most of the clothes they sell are still of excellent quality. One of my favorite “ukayans” is the one located along Peralta St. near Victory Sorsogon.

*First time ko mamalengke sa Sorsogon City public market, and it is surprisingly clean.*

*When craving for something cold, konting lakad lang, solb na.* 😃 *This is located in front of Sorsogon East Central School.*

*First bakeshop na binilhan ko, and next on my list is* *to try Al Sinugba Grill House.*

The next stop is not a “first” per se, but it’s the first time that I tried out the “tusok-tusok” stalls at Sorsogon City’s Rompeolas and Boulevard by myself. “Isaw manok” is my favorite, but it looks like I have a new favorite – “bopis,” which is grilled cow’s lungs. Mahilig kasi ang mga Bicolano sa salitang “baga” kaya pati baga ng baka o baboy kasama sa mga iniihaw na tusok-tusok. Iyo baga. 😅✌️

*These food stalls open during the afternoon only.*

*They also have the tastiest Calamares.*

*Hindi po ako naglilihi pero sadyang nag-crave lang.* 😅

*At dito lang ako sa Sor Ci nakakita ng ganitong nut na tinitinda kasama ng mga mani. I forgot what’s it called. Balikan ko nga si Kuya taga-tinda nang makabili ulit.* 😃 *His stall is located across DIY along De Vera Street.*

The Bikol Sorsogon dialect though is so different from Bikol Bulan, which is the language that we commonly use in my hometown. The phrase “that’s right” or “iyo baga” in Bikol Sorsogon is “mao baga” in our local dialect. Ang “kanin” magkaiba din ang tawag sa amin sa Bulan at dito sa Sorsogon. Tuloy tinitigan lang ako ng tindera nang pagsabi ko, “Te, duwa tabi na kinunot nyan duwa na luto.” Gaaaaah, dirilot na ako kay hamo-hamo baga istorya ko sin Bikol. 😆 Help, please? English or Filipino na lang kaya. lol

And of course, last but not least will be my favorite – my first volunteering event at The Lewis College here in Sorsogon City organized by Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon through Victory Sorsogon. ♥️

“Every Nation Campus is the global campus ministry of Every Nation. We are a global community of students who believe that changing the world starts when we change the campus. We are committed to empowering the next generation for LIFE by teaching and imparting Leadership, Integrity, Faith, and Excellence.” – ENC Philippines

If you are a student who wants to be part of this movement, you may visit ENC’s website for more details on how to join. If you are also a young professional, you can also take part in what ENC is doing in the lives of the students by being a LIFE Coach.

*Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon during the first day of classes @ The Lewis College.*

*The photo before kami dinumog ng mga estudyante.* 😃

*I wasn’t expecting to see Bumble* *Bee on campus grounds. Sadly, he didn’t transform to an Autobot while we were there. Sigh.*

*I may have not pursued a career as a licensed secondary education teacher, but the calling to be a teacher (and forever a student) of life remains.* 🙂

*The bookmark that changed my life – I’m passing it on to the next generation.* 🙏

*LIFE Group session led by Pastor/Doc Allan*, *Kuya Cois, Ma’am Mutya, and assisted by Ate Jhin, Ate Grace, and yours truly.*

*Thank You, Lord, for the lives of the hardworking admin team behind Victory Sorsogon and Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon.* 🙏

*I am praying for the perfect time to study these courses, so I can share them to the two awesome ladies assigned to me to pray for who are BS Entrepreneurship freshies.* 🙏

*Some of the skills that the next generation needs so they will be well-equipped to address society’s future challenges.*

Indeed, when God asks us to do something and we obey willingly, He follows it through and provides us with everything we need. And even if we don’t know why we have to do it and how we’re going to do it, God will reveal His provisions and purpose later on. But always, they will all be for His glory and His kingdom. 🙏🙂

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3

“Seek God’s will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33

P.S. I am not sure if this is what will really happen, but it looks like students who will be discipled through Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon might be some of the volunteers I was praying for in some articles I wrote last year. Nothing is impossible with God, they say. And did I hear myself say, Amen? 😊

P.P.S. And all of these started because of Mom – we will be remembering and cherishing precious memories of her on her 1st death anniversary on Tuesday. 🙏

All My “Firsts” In Sorsogon City

Posted on August 2, 2024 by Christine Lailani

How do I begin this overwhelmingly beautiful and positive experience of my being here in Sorsogon City? I think when I made a joke that I left my heart in Sorsogon in this article, God meant it would be here in Sorsogon City. lol Nah, I love Bulan (my hometown) too and I love the entire province actually, which is Sorsogon. But I also love the entire Bicol Region. Sige na nga, I love the Philippines na. hahaha Bumigay din. 😆

I mentioned in my previous articles that I felt the Spirit’s leading and God’s calling for me to live here in Sorsogon City though my ancestral home is in Bulan, a coastal town 2 hours away from the city. When I told Dad, he disapproved at first because he was concerned about my safety, and I think this is a normal reaction from every parent no matter how old their children get. But I assured him I would still visit my hometown every week and stay there for a few days to spend time with him and my 3rd sister.

Brought something with me that reminds me of home – Aglaonema. This is the first plant that Mom told me to propagate back in Manila because it’s a prolific grower. Hopefully maparami ko sila dito sa apartment. 🙏

My husband, by the way, is working overseas, and I am very grateful and happy that he is adjusting quite well though he had some challenges and setbacks when he arrived last April. I had the same experience, and I must say that separation anxiety is the most difficult to overcome.

But by God’s grace, He provided everything that we needed. And when I say everything, I really mean ALL. My husband and I agreed I help him prepare holistically for his new life abroad by providing him with a home (not just a house) in Manila while he’s processing his work documents and visa, but he’ll also help me get established here in Sorsogon City. We missed each other a lot, but God has always been there to comfort and assure us both that we are on the right paths albeit heading towards opposite directions.

God ushered me towards the right people.

By the way, I am sure you’re all wondering if there were times when I ever felt afraid of living in a foreign place surrounded by people that I barely knew. I guess I would have to thank my experience in the Anthropology classes I took as an elective during my undergraduate and graduate studies at UP Diliman. The general education curriculum of UP allows students to choose an elective course from any college or department.

I chose Anthropology because some of my college friends told me na nagpapaulan daw kasi ng uno na grade ang mga prof. lol And it is actually true because the requirements aren’t easy. Aside from the regular quizzes, class recitations, exams, and research papers, the class is divided into several groups for community immersion/fieldwork, which is the final requirement to pass the course. Just in case you’re thinking that community immersions might be similar to field trips, well, they are field trips, but the entire experience goes a little deeper.

They are not your regular educational tours where you do a lot of sightseeing and visit several places during the entire trip. For community immersion, social awareness is the main objective. You get to study the local community, its people, and the culture not as a foreigner or as a tourist, but you actually become part of the community.

And I believe God has been preparing me for this transition without me realizing it because I remembered now that my undergraduate thesis is all about regionalism and the country life. When my thesis adviser and I were discussing what are the topics that interest me a lot, I told her that I would like to write something about where I came from. Not literally where I came from because we were studying literary theories used by American writers to depict the American society in their novels, essays, and short stories written during the Medieval Ages until the 20th Century. But more on the concept of grassroots and how it influences our lives and defines our roles and purpose in society.

And speaking of community, I must say that I didn’t totally expect that I would blend in quite comfortably with the neighborhood – I love the people here. My landlords, for one, have been very accommodating in helping me get settled in and in patiently answering all of my queries (I had A LOT 😁). The neighbors are a composition of students, young (and old like me) professionals, and young families, and I am very grateful na walang pasaway sa kanila (sana). 😀 I always include each one of them in my prayers though I don’t know them well enough yet. 🙏

*My first lugaw here in Sorsogon City at Vince Lugawan syempre kasi harap lang ng Victory Sorsogon.*

*Na-try ko din sa wakas ang Baluko. Delicioso.* 😋🤌

God brought me to a place where everything I need is there.

Every time I am in a new place, the first thing I check is if it has all of the necessities i.e. has sufficient water supply; near the supermarket, banks, and restaurants; accessible via the main thoroughfare; located on elevated grounds; situated in a safe neighborhood; etc. At may pa-bonus pa si Lord. I did mention in my previous article that the apartment is located just a block away from Victory Sorsogon and just recently, I discovered that it’s also a couple of blocks away from Sorsogon City’s Rompeolas and the boulevard.

*These are mangroves on my right. I would like to commend the LGU for their continued efforts in preserving mangroves in coastal communities.*

And guess what, the pastor of Victory Sorsogon is a praying doctor. 😊 I first mentioned about the praying doctor in this article, and I believe it is not a coincidence that I am now attending church services led by a praying doctor. He is an EENT doctor, and Sunday services are held inside his clinic, which is converted into an assembly hall on Sundays. I was also grateful I got connected to a Bible study group led by Pastor Allan’s wife, Tita Jean, and comprised of women whom I admire considerably given the wisdom that they share since most of them are older than me.

*Victory Sorsogon is one of my neighbors.* 😉 *Church services are held every 9:00 AM & 11:00 AM during Sundays.*

*A doctor during weekdays, a pastor during weekends.* 🙂

*Pastor/Doctor Allan of Victory Sorsogon*

*Thank you, Tita Jean and Ate Mutya, for welcoming me to your Victory Group.* 🙏♥️😊

*Thank you, men’s VG, for sharing your food with us, ze ladies.* 👍👍

One of our Bible study group members is also currently battling cancer at a very young age. And we are planning to visit her at the BRTTH this Saturday. While it grieves me to find out that she’s critically ill, I believe this is already the start of the task that God has called me to do here in Sorsogon City. My Victory Group leader, Tita Jean, also told me the same thing. Being a breast cancer or cancer advocate is actually one of the reasons why I decided to live here.

Should my cancer cells become aggressive and progressive later on no matter how healthy my lifestyle is, it will be easier for me to undergo several treatments if needed i.e. chemotherapy, radiation, etc. here in the city. After Mom passed away last year because of stage 4 breast cancer, I’ve been doing a lot of research and have been joining cancer support groups on Facebook to find out more about the plight of every cancer patient.

I can then share everything I have learned from these groups to other cancer patients who are still not aware where and how to seek for help in terms of financial assistance, availing free medications, consultations, and laboratory tests, etc. while praying for them at the same time. And it looks like the Bible verse below will be my battlecry with the ultimate goal of helping more souls to be saved. 🙏

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” – Genesis 50:20

By the way, when it comes to knowing the community really well, I prefer to walk than drive around in the same way that I prefer to commute via public transportation than use a private car. I get to observe the places and the people more intimately this way. It’s like I get to share the space with them both as an observer and as a participant. Nasanay din ako sa UP Diliman na kapag nagmamadali ka at kulang na ang oras mo para antayin ang UP Ikot/Toki jeepney to get to the next class, which will be held in a building how many kilometers away from your previous class, you need to sprint so you won’t be late. lol Walking then became a habit albeit a good one.

God took me out of a season and welcomed me into a new season.

I mentioned in yet another article that one of the reasons why I came here to live in Sorsogon City is to heal holistically. And nope, I haven’t forgotten at all that I am still due this August for a repeat blood test. I am obeying the doctor’s orders this time. lol It will be the second laboratory test that I’ll be having here in the city. The first lab test was when I got infected by COVID-19 while taking care of Mom at one of the hospitals here last year.

But I got to know several cancer advocacies because of Mom’s battle against cancer, which I believe are all part of God’s plans. It was Him all along. I was just merely being used as a vessel that will take part in whatever it is that God is doing in the communities starting from the community of cancer patients. When I also reactivated my personal account on Facebook a couple of weeks ago to retrieve an old photo, the first story that popped up was a Facebook post of a former high school classmate whose hobby is knitting and crocheting. Again, this is not a coincidence. This is already God’s answer to another advocacy that I would like to join (or start) here in Sorsogon City, which, by God’s grace, will extend all throughout the province of Sorsogon and other nearby provinces, cities, and municipalities.

True enough, my eczema flareups subsided even though I am no longer taking Coaltria (a doctor-prescribed medication for my severe allergic rhinitis back in 2019) since I got here and even after prolonged sun exposure while strolling along Sorsogon City’s boulevard to get my regular dose of vitamin D and “vitamin sea.” If my repeat blood test comes out negative and my hematuria clears up, then there really is something about this place that miraculously healed me even without any medical intervention. 🙏

Definitely a memorable first stroll along the boulevard. ♥️

*Meanwhile, this is me here in the apartment on most days.*

*Let’s try the Platypus pose again while waiting for the interview to start.*

*Oh shucks, online na pala interviewer ko. Nakita kaya nya ang Platypus pose ko?* 🤔😬😩😂

And I think you’re also dying to know how old I really am though some of you already know my age. My answer is that I have the heart of an 8-year-old girl, the body of a 38-year-old lady, and the soul of an 80-year-old woman. Will this answer suffice? 😅

Stay tuned for more of my “firsts” here in the city as I continue my new season and a new journey here. ❤

P.S.

I took this shot when this sweet little girl started making lambing most likely wondering why one of her meowmies e palaging nawawala ng ilang araw tapos biglang babalik. lol Isama ko na lang daw sya kaso bawal ang pets dito. 😁

*Gimme, gimme some belly lovin’ rub, Meowmy.*

P.P.S.

Every time nagko-commute ako sakay ng tricycle, ilang beses na akong sinabihan ng mga tricycle drivers dito na may kakilala sila na kahawig ko daw. Inaantay ko na lang talaga na may magsabi sa akin na kamukha ko si Mayor Alice Guo (I am chinita and I have long hair, too). Kasi ang isasagot ko ay yes, dito po ako tumatago ngayon sa Sorsogon City. lol 😆

*Give me a thumbs up if you still find me funny. lol Chubby cheeks now signing off.* 😎

Bayanihan Knitted Knockers | Breast Cancer ADVOCACY

Posted on March 27, 2024 by Christine Lailani

God is good all the time. I stumbled upon this advocacy for breast cancer warriors who’ve had a mastectomy – handmade breast prostheses. And I must say that this is one advocacy that is truly worth sharing here in my blog. I would like to encourage those who get to read this to support and share the project with your friends, families, and coworkers. ❤️

For international volunteers and donors who would like to support this advocacy by Knitted Knockers, you may visit this website:

https://www.knittedknockers.org/

To Filipino volunteers and breast cancer warriors who would like to get a pair of knitted breast prostheses for FREE, you may coordinate with the Bayanihan Knitted Knockers thru their Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/Bayanihanknittedknockers?mibextid=ZbWKwL

I also would like to dedicate this blog post to all the volunteers who support this cause and made this campaign a success. To the founders who started the initiative to help breast cancer warriors cope with the struggles and challenges of losing an essential part of themselves as a woman, the impact of this project is just beyond tremendous – a very big THANK YOU to all of you. 🙏❤️

Here are some of the testimonies from the recipients themselves:

God Is Good All The Time Talaga

Nakakatuwa lang si Lord. Dahil kagabi lang I felt like ni-shake, rattle, and roll na naman ang mundo ko. But God replaced it with peace and wisdom reminding me of His promises and the “positive” future that awaits when I obey Him.

I mentioned in my previous articles about this desire of mine to do volunteer work for the breast cancer community when I get back to Bicol. I don’t know how and where to start actually though I have an initial plan (please refer to this article). Pero as usual, umiral naman “imposter syndrome” ko and my complaint to God was that the task is too daunting. I lack a lot of resources from finances, logistics, to manpower. Sagot lang Nya is that “Christine, just wait.”

A Community of Warriors

And then came Knitted Knockers. This advocacy started in the US, and later on, ipinagpatuloy ng mga founders ng Bayanihan Knitted Knockers dito sa Pinas with the intent na matulungan ang mga Pinay na sumailalim ng mastectomy. Ang mga handwoven na breast prostheses ay technically mga fillers na nilalagay sa bra para maging pantay pa din ang mga dibdib o hindi maging flat ang mga dibdib.

Sa time ng mastectomy and lumpectomy ng Mommy and Lola ko (around ’90s), wala pang ganito. So, my Tita from the US bought my Mom a silicone pad (thanks Mommy Jud) altho lately na lang kaso mainit sya and hindi suitable para gamitin nang pangmatagalan lalo na dito sa Pinas. And nai-irritate ang pinagtahian lalo na sa case ni Mom na keloidal sya (like me) kaya nagkaroon ng keloid ang mismong tahi.

Akala natin maliit at simpleng item lang itong knitted breast prostheses pero malaki pala ang tulong na naibibigay para sa pag-boost ng self-esteem and confidence ng mga kababaihan na sumailalim ng mastectomy. Kaya nababawasan ang depression kahit paano dahil isa sa challenges ng mga breast cancer warriors after a surgery ay ang self-image at kung paano mag-iiba ang tingin sa kanila ng mga tao once they go out. The knitted breast prostheses somehow made the transition and adjustment process less traumatic and less painful to these women helping them cope with mental health issues better.

Volunteer For A Good Cause

So ito na ang ibinigay ni Lord na opportunity. It’s as if sinabi Nya na “Tin, I am now opening a door for you to volunteer.” Sagot ko sana ay, “May say ba ako, Lord, kung ayaw kong gawin?” lol Feeling ko isasagot sa akin ni Lord ay, “Ano ba talaga, Tin? Sabi mo gusto mo mag-volunteer tapos tinatanong mo ako kung ano ba ang nasa future mo, heto na ‘yun, I am giving you a glimpse how and where to start.” 😂 Sayang lang at hindi ako marunong mag-knit. But I really would love to learn. Kaso andami ko nang pending tasks pagbalik ng Bicol, baka maging hanggang drawing lang talaga itong pag-knit. Sana hindi. 🙏

I guess ito din ang isa sa mga purposes ni Lord kaya ako pinapunta ng Maynila dahil pinakuha Nya sa akin lahat ng mga training materials sa mga previous volunteer projects na sinalihan ko. Gaya nitong ginamit namin sa training as volunteers ng Victory QC (now Victory Katipunan) Community Outreach Ministry. I am not sure kung patuloy pa din ang proyekto na ito.

But I am grateful and privileged enough na nakapag-attend ako ng training dahil ang isa sa mga bumuo ng ministry na ito used to be the Dean (if I’m not mistaken) of the College of Social Work and Community Development in UP Diliman. I learned from one of the best mentors when it comes to doing community service and ang kagandahan, it was backed by Biblical foundations.

Extending The Project To Bicol

What I am praying for now is how I can bring the initiative of Bayanihan Knitted Knockers sa Bicol, like sort of create a Bicol chapter ng organization (kung wala pa) kahit magsimula sa kaunting volunteers lang muna. Dahil ang mga handwoven breast prostheses ay ipinapamigay ng LIBRE pero sagot pa din ng recipient ang shipping fee. Kung manggagaling pa ng Maynila, may kamahalan din ang babayaran na shipping fee ng breast cancer warriors from Bicol.

And kung Maynila lang ang pagkukunan ng knitted breast prostheses, baka masyadong matagalan ang delivery given the limited number of volunteer knitters they have. I am sure may marunong din mag-knit at mag-crochet sa Bicol. I plan to ask and coordinate with the founders of the Bayanihan Knitted Knockers here in Manila re the following:

– can we set up a Bicol chapter

– how long does it take to complete a pair of knitted breast prostheses (altho tingin ko depende na ito sa kung gaano ka-experienced ang isang volunteer knitter)

– are there specific requirements for the type of yarn, designs, foam used, proof of surgery (recipient), etc.

Based on their answers, doon ko malalaman what I will be needing for the Bicol chapter such as:

– number of volunteers (knitters and packers) depending sa magiging bulk ng orders and knitting/packing time

– targeted number of recipients (ilang cities and municipalities meron sa buong Bicol Region and ilan ang hospitals kada city/town)

– coordinate with oncologists/surgeons per hospital kung ilan ang pasyente nila na nag-undergo at maga-undergo ng mastectomy para sa referrals ng mga prospective recipients (this will be a very huge favor to ask from them soooo, mate-test ang superpower of persuasion ko dito or kaibiganin ko secretaries nila at i-bribe ng mamon para lumambot ang puso 😂)

Giving Everyone Equal Opportunity

Nakita ko kasi na konti pa lang din ang nakakaalam about Bayanihan Knitted Knockers kaya kung ia-advertise sa social media, ang mari-reach na mga breast cancer warriors ay konti lang. So, traditional way ng pag-advertise ang need gawin para mas marami ang makaalam at matulungan. And regardless kung ano status sa buhay, basta gusto mag-avail, dapat makatanggap.

Pagdating sa pag-round up ng volunteers, Bulan and Sorsogon City ang target ko since mag-uuwian ako from both places. Sa church sa city ang main target ko to get volunteers para habang nagni-knit o pack, diretso fellowship. Because why not? 😅

Kung madami ang orders, I plan to hire more knitters and mas preferred ko actually na bayaran ang gagawa pero syempre need mag-conduct ng financial planning kung kakayanin ba ng budget. We can’t solely rely on donations, but it would be a very big help. Ika nga nila, libre mangarap pero kailangan din maging praktikal.

Ang headquarters ay most likely sa hometown ko kasi ang vision ko sana ay doon iganap ang monthly meetings (once a month) sa farm namin. Pwede naman sa bahay kasi napagusapan actually naming magkakapatid na gawing bed and breakfast ang bahay in the far future since marami ang natutuwa at nagpapa-picture dito. Hindi lang nila alam ang daming multo. Isa na pala ako doon a.k.a. “the white lady.” 😀

*Ni-disenyo mismo ng Dad and Mom.* ❤️ *They love to build things together. Ito actually ang fave pastime nila – ang magplano at gumawa ng proyekto.* | photo taken by my 3rd sister 📸

Tapos kapag nasa bukid na, unli buko doon at sabayan ng pancit bato para sa meryenda. Pero ang catch dito ay kung sino ang gusto ng unli buko, dapat sya ang magsusungkit ng buko. 🤣 We call buko as “silot” in Bulan. And this is how we harvest coconuts:

Only a skilled “paralukad” can harvest the coconuts dahil delikado sya actually at mahirap gawin lalo na kapag ganito na katatangkad ng mga punong niyog.

Kung game ang mga volunteers sa panunungkit, then unli buko it is. lol I am just kidding. Of course, unli buko talaga at magpapabaon din ako para sa pamilya nila tsaka kung ano mahagilap o ma-forage nila doon sa bukid (aawayin na ako neto ng Daddy at kapatid ko 🤣). Dahil maliit na bagay lang ito actually and the volunteers will get to experience this once a month only. This is how I plan to repay them for all the volunteer (hard) work they do.

A Collective Effort Towards Social Change And Fellowship

Noong time ng Lola at Lolo ko, sa bukid namin madalas ginagawa ang spiritual retreat ng Protestant church na usually ginaganap sa buwan ng Marso o Abril kung tama pagkakaalala ko. I am praying my siblings are also open to the idea once kami na ang magma-manage. But this time, gusto ko sana na it will be open to any church kasi ang target natin is to foster unity within the body of Christ.

*My 3rd sister suggested maglagay ng chapel doon sa hill na maliit (na for sure ay hindi nyo naman makikita* *sa sobrang layo* 😆).

Isa kasi ito sa mga most memorable childhood experiences ko when it comes to fellowship. Yaong nagpe-praise and worship kayo na panay mga boses at gitara lang ang maririnig (no loud musical instruments) kasi walang kuryente doon. And even if magkaroon pa, I still prefer na ganito pa din ang praise and worship during spiritual retreats – it’s more solemn at ramdam mo ang connection with nature and with God. And then after ng preaching at intercessory prayers, kainan a la picnic style (potluck kami lagi) tapos bonding na and just relax for the rest of the afternoon.

*Maganda mag-senti dito sa pond. ‘Wag lang masobrahan sa pag-sway at baka tumilapon ka diretso sa pond – lagpas tao din sya.* 😅

My visions are very ambitious, I know. 😀 But I am praying na ito ang will ng Panginoon at sana matuwa ang Dios kapag maisakatuparan ito. In everything, to God be the glory always. 🙏

For this article and what the organizers, volunteers, and supporters of Knitted Knockers and Bayanihan Knitted Knockers are doing, I believe the Bible verses below are fitting:

“In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” – Matthew 5:16

“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” – Proverbs 19:21

“Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3

P.S. I believe this will be an ongoing initiative dahil kada taon meron at merong nada-diagnose ng breast cancer at naga-undergo ng mastectomy sa buong bansa. Pwede sa provinces madalang pero meron pa din. Kaya sa mga makabasa nito sa ibang lugar sa Pilipinas, sana maenganyo din kayo to start the same campaign sainyong mga lugar. 👍

Ang knitted breast prostheses ay hindi lang personal item. It is a powerful representation and symbolizes kung gaano nakipaglaban ang isang breast cancer warrior sa sakit na kanser. Thus, walang makakatumbas sa kanyang sentimental value. ❤️

*featured image courtesy of Bayanihan Knitted Knockers

Frugality And A Legacy Of Generosity

Posted on January 7, 2024 by Christine Lailani

Just one more article before I hibernate here. I thought I should write this in case my recent blog posts gave you the impression that I was born rich. 😀 I’d like to change that assumption by saying that it’s actually the opposite. I grew up in a family that emphasizes frugality and the wise use of money above everything else. Next to it is generosity, which is actually the family legacy started by my great-grandparents. I am writing this post to honor them. ❤️

*Photo: Eugenia Bertumen & Rev. Julian Bertumen | Sketch: Rev. Julian Bertumen*

My late grandma’s accounting of farm expenses back in the 1980s, which is what I’m doing now. But Dad will be the last generation who will be doing this because our generation will be using Microsoft Excel. It’s way easier. 😅

My great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents possessed properties by inheritance and purchased some but shared a decent portion of the harvest from everything that grows there with neighbors and friends. I am praying my siblings and I will be able to pass this legacy to the next generation because this, I believe, is the main purpose that God has given us these lands.

My great grandfather, Reverend Julian Bertumen, or Lolo Daddy as we call him, was born in Bacacay, Albay. He was a Freemason or a member of the Freemasonry before he became a Reverend of the Protestant church. His involvement in the church started in Albay before he transferred to Bulan, my hometown.

More about Freemasonry:

1. 7 Things You May Not Know About Freemasons

2. Secret society? Meet the Freemasons, men excommunicated by Catholic popes

Together with my great-grandmother, Eugenia Bertumen or Mamay Gurang, they were able to possess properties not because they earned so much money from their work, but because they lived frugal lives. This was passed on to my grandmother and then to my Mom. I remembered how our late grandma had this set of clothes that she always wore going to church.

*Left Photo: Eugenia Bertumen & Rev. Julian Bertumen*

Both she and my grandpa only had the basic things needed at home. They lived in a small but very homey nipa hut at the farm. I spent a lot of time with them when I was a toddler every time my parents couldn’t find a babysitter.

*I believe my grandma also prayed the way I am praying now that* *future generations will rekindle that deep connection with nature.*

*A family that is called to be farmers and caretakers of the land one generation after the other.* 🙏

My grandma had a very warm personality. She greeted people with her beautiful smile. I think I got most of my grandma’s genes because I discovered from her old belongings that she and I are alike in a lot of things. Like this old Gospel song that I found along with old letters written by her. So now I know where my fascination for Worship songs that speak to the soul came from. 😍

I also found this old photo taken during a church event in Albay in 1940. I think our ancestral roots are closely attached to this place, and I have a strong feeling God wanted each generation of our family to be connected to Albay in one way or the other.

My Mom lived there for quite some time and so did my grandparents and great-grandparents. This must explain why I feel certain emotions when I see Mt. Mayon. Am I an old soul from Albay? 😀 Maybe I’m a reincarnation of Magayon from the folklore. 🤔 Hmm, this means I’ll be dealing with Pangaronon and Pagtuga, too? lol Ugh, enough of the romantic tragedy already. 😩

*I’m definitely keeping this very precious and priceless box of memories.* ❤️

Does this mean though that I am going to live in Albay, too? Or maybe one of my siblings. Now, I cannot answer because it is only God who leads me where I should go. But the perfect rainbow I saw was in Albay, too. And along with it was God’s promise that He would bring me back to this land (Genesis 28:15). There are just no coincidences in Christianity. 😉

I also have this desire to look for the relatives of my grandma’s best friend who lived in Daraga. I want to know more about her, too. Our Mama must have loved her so much because she gave her best friend the old house where my grandma and grandpa used to live before they relocated to Bulan. Ah yes, that’s how generous my grandparents were. 🥰

*“The Parable of the Sower” in Bikol dialect.*

I believe my siblings and I are in this season where God is aligning us to the family’s calling, which spans from generation to generation. This also includes the people that we meet who will also play a role in what He will ask us to do in the coming years.

*Found this in my grandma’s old stuff, too. It looks like I will be updating this also.*

I am sensing that God is asking us to allow Him to realign us with His calling and purpose for our lives. This might involve drastic changes and sacrifices, but we must take comfort in the fact that the things that we can no longer control and what God allows to happen are for our own good.

I believe that this year will be all about renewed purposes for most of us. This year is about seeking His will more than anything. Thus, it is my prayer that more brave souls will surrender to and accept Jesus as their Savior, so they can also see the glory that God is about to bring to His kingdom. 🙏

“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-10

“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good.

They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.” – 1 Timothy 6:17-19

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The Journeyman's Moments

The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.

Tag Archives: community

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Bayanihan Knitted Knockers | Breast Cancer ADVOCACY

Frugality And A Legacy Of Generosity

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