The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I thought I was going to stop writing for the time being after the article before this one, but it looks like God intended otherwise. So here goes the story, and I’ll share it quick: it looks like God has already assigned me my first task for the Bible verse I shared in this article. And it was a missed opportunity. Sorry, Lord. I’ll try better next time. 😀
Yesterday, I went to Sorsogon City to have my FPE (first patient encounter) at SMMGH since I have chosen it as my YAKAP provider. Why SMMGH? I am already familiar with the place since we stayed there for almost 2 months in 2023 during Mom’s confinement. I always get lost inside hospitals. lol
I was planning on having my first consultation at the OPD, as I was targeting to avail of their breast screening services (breast ultrasound and mammogram), but I was informed that they are still waiting for the mammography machine to arrive.
I thought I’d just wait for it to arrive before I have my first consultation. Or I can have the breast ultrasound first because SMMGH is my YAKAP provider until December this year only.
It was around 8am when I left Bulan on board the Bulan Trans Co. shuttle. The bus conductor was a jolly, old fellow who approached me while we were en route to Sorsogon City, asking to exchange a 20-peso coin for 1 peso or 5 peso coins. He was already short of change, and I was more than glad to exchange the coins in my purse, as they are also heavy.
After a couple of minutes, he approached me again. This time, he handed a 500-peso bill, and when I looked at it, I knew what he meant. I smiled my widest and nodded, declining his request. And we both burst out in laughter. He knew that I was not going to exchange my smaller bills because, well, “barya lang sa umaga.” 😀
We arrived in Sorsogon City around 10am, and I was planning on grabbing a bite at SM City Sorsogon. Only to realize that SM adjusted its store hours to open at 11am pala. lol I was also planning to freshen up there. So I have decided to go straight to SMMGH instead via the tricycle and just have my brunch at a small cafeteria in front of the hospital, still looking “unfresh” from my 2-hour trip.
After I ordered my food, I chose a table and sat with my back towards the entrance so I wouldn’t get to see the passersby. Then a woman sat at the next table across from me. When she entered, she already sort of half addressed me, telling me she was going to get water from the water dispenser. I quickly noticed her expression, though she tried to smile: lost and bewildered.
I smiled back at her, albeit awkwardly, because I really don’t converse with strangers. Then I resumed eating, and I can see from my peripheral vision that she is somehow not relaxed. So I looked at her, and I saw that she’s also looking at me as if she wanted to say something, but was just hesitating. Then she just started sharing about how her son (if I got it right, because she was speaking fast) was bitten by a dog and has had a fever for 2 days already.
They came here at SMMGH to get an anti-rabies vaccination and an anti-tetanus shot, but she doesn’t know how much they are going to pay. So to make her feel relaxed, I’ve been asking her questions, like the age of the boy (grade 5). Then there was a pause in our convo, and I felt like I wanted to ask her if she’s eaten already. But I don’t know how to ask that question out of the blue because it seems off-topic.
I waited, and she started talking again and said that they are waiting for Doctor Hermo to check the kid, and she hasn’t eaten yet. Ah, yes, and there was my cue. I immediately took my wallet and gave her a 100-peso bill. I told her, “Ate, bili mo ‘yan ng pagkain mo ha.” She thanked me right away, and I asked her where they came from. She said they’re from Bacon, and I also told her I’m from Bulan.
Then she stood up and thanked me again multiple times while bowing. I almost laughed and just told her, “Okay lang ‘yan, Ate. No problem. God bless you po.”
Why did I give her money? What if she were just a con artist or a beggar? It doesn’t matter – the need was there.
I know that look. Three years ago, I was also seated at the same table where she sat, having the same lost and bewildered look, almost close to breaking down, and contemplating what would happen to my Mom. I was in that exact table, processing everything that my family and I were going through.
Questions like, will she survive her stage 4 breast cancer? How long are we staying in the hospital? How long will I see her with so many contraptions attached to her? Will we be able to keep up with the running bill at the hospital? And a whole lot more of anxieties and worries.
For someone like me who is extra sensitive to other people’s energy and vibe, I can sense right away without them telling me what they are thinking or feeling. And maybe this is the reason why I often encounter strangers who would just vent out their problems to me, and at first, I thought it was a bit awkward. But when it happened a lot of times, I realized that it was no longer a coincidence.
Then it dawned on me, I missed the opportunity. I should’ve PRAYED for her even if it’s just a short prayer. And it came clearer what the right response should be when people approach and share their problems: listen, pray together, ask God for solutions, and then go find those solutions.
At that time, I was in a hurry, though, because I didn’t know how long the FPE takes, and I was also going to the PhilHealth Sorsogon branch afterwards to inquire about contributions since I had missed payments (when I transitioned to a freelancer).
Yes, when I am on an errand, I tend to be “Flash” woman, accomplishing everything in as little time as possible. lol Let’s just say I am always deliberate and systematic in how I do things, and I am very intentional with how I use my time. So, no dillydallying. 😀 I also thought I’d process all of these now while I am not yet physically weak.
Going back to her, I know that is not a reason enough to let her go without praying for her. I should’ve asked her to sit beside me so I could pray for her and maybe give her a hug, too. I felt that her need was genuine; she was desperately looking for help, even if it was just for her food.
My heart bleeds for moments like this. 100 pesos is not much. It’s like the story of 5 barley loaves and fishes in the Bible. I was thinking what food she can buy with it, with all the inflation and skyrocketing prices of everything. And yet, I prayed to God that, though the monetary value of that money might be small, may its impact on her be big enough to sustain her and her boy – faith, hope, courage, and strength.
I believe my first task has already started. I know, I will be meeting more people like her. I know I will be praying for more like her in this setting, even as I myself will be in dire need of prayers. Because the comfort God gave me when I was in a situation like theirs is the same comfort that God has tasked me to share with them. ❤
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
P.S. Naisip ko na hindi kaya dahil din sa akala niya ay Med Rep ako? lol Check out the photo below for reference. I only had 3 seconds to take this photo before I caused traffic in the comfort room. Sareeee. 😀
I think it’s the bag that gave away the Med Rep vibe. lol
P.P.S. I thank God for the trusted and reliable workers whenever we have projects at home or on the farm. We wouldn’t be able to achieve each one of these projects if it weren’t for them. And I’d like to thank Tio Bindoy, a highly skilled mason who’s worked with the family for generations already, for bringing in these farm harvests galing din sa bukid ng kamag-anak nila.
Noong nakaraang buwan naman, isda galing sa huli ni Tio Pono, isa rin sa mga katiwala namin sa bukid whose other source of livelihood is fishing kapag wala nang masyadong gawain sa bukid. We insisted on paying for them pero ayaw nila tanggapin. Minsan, kung sino pa ang tinutulungan namin, sila pa ang mas generous, giving us anything that they could give sa mga tanim-tanim nila. Nothing is more humbling of an experience than this. I pray i-bless din sila ng Panginoon a millionfold sa generosity nila. ❤
Disclaimer: Mahaba-haba itong post na ito at hindi ko alam kung kailan ulit ako makakapost. 🙂
Nabanggit ko sa nakaraang blog post na magso-social media hibernation ako as part of my personal prayer and fasting, but I thought mas maigi sigurong sumabay na lang ako sa mid-year prayer and fasting sa church, which will most likely fall in July siguro.
Because the pain I mentioned in that article is, I think, my cue already to schedule a doctor’s appointment asap. Though I have no other symptoms, it may have been just part of my PMS since I just had my period yesterday.
But just so I have peace of mind, I am planning on getting a medical checkup tomorrow. Kaya nitong nakaraang linggo, panay research na ako ng anything related to breast cancer from PhilHealth’s Z Benefit package, the YAKAP program, palliative care, at marami pang iba.
As someone with OC tendencies, I have a knack for organizing stuff. I love details, and details love me back. Unlike Math. It just doesn’t love me back. Hays.
Sa sobrang dami nga lang nitong mga nahanap ko, hindi ko na tuloy alam kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin. lol Seriously though, ito na ‘yung sinasabi ng mga breast cancer patients and all patients in general na sobrang exhausting and draining, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ang magkasakit. Andami mong aasikasuhin at iisipin. Siyempre, magastos din at goal ko na huwag magagalaw ang savings at huwag manghingi o manghiram ng pera.
So now, I am putting ChatGPT to the test again, kung kaya niyang i-synthesize lahat ng info na makukuha niya sa mga screenshots na ito na plan kong i-upload lahat sa isang prompt lang. Para mas comprehensive ang guide pero simplified and coherent version. Magagawa kaya ito ni ChatGPT? 😀
Acceptance As A Pathway To Peace
By the way, kasama na sa ginawa ko ang last love letter to my family na isi-send ko sa husband ko and sa family ko. It included steps on what to do kapag terminal stage na or palliative care here at home pati ‘yung sa insurances, medical and burial assistance, cremation, etc.
I also added a DNR (do not resuscitate) request if ever i-rush pa nila ako sa hospital, and that I prefer a 1-day wake and prayer vigil only. Yep, I am a nonconformist – I don’t follow cultural norms and traditions all the time. I also and always question the status quo, but I am very compliant naman with God’s laws. 😀
Ganyan ako mag-ayos ng mga bagay-bagay because I just love to plan. Pero syempre ni-remind na naman ako ni Lord na many are the plans of man, but it is God’s purpose that will prevail. I already planned everything kasi ayoko maging burden sa lahat ng aspeto sa loved ones ko when I get sick. Sobrang stressful on their end kapag wala kang habilin, and itong ginawa ko will make decision-making easier for them. Actually, for execution na lang talaga sya.
Right now I am doing a lot of mind conditioning for myself and si husband ay inuunti-unti ko na din. Kasama na din sa ni-research ko kung paano kapag hindi tanggap ng loved one mo ang terminal diagnosis mo, kasi siyempre dadaan din sila sa stages of grief at bawat tao may kanya-kanyang way and timeline to cope with a terminal diagnosis and eventually loss of a loved one.
ChatGPT Does It Like No Other
Now, let’s move to the fun part ng article kasi ayoko ito maging super heavy. Speaking of ChatGPT, ‘di ba nga ni-try ko ipa-edit ang 2×2 ID photo ko na gawin niyang bald dito sa article na ito kasi gusto ko lang makita how I’d look without any hair on and nag-malfunction siya. So, ni-try ko ulit kasi syempre favorite natin ang persuasion. Bumigay din si ChatGPT, and I was stunned by the result.
Kasi sabi ko lang sa prompt, eh breast cancer warrior ang babae, kaya dapat ang aura ay confident na sort of mala-women empowerment. Ayun, sinamahan na niya ng quotation sa gilid. O ‘di ba, winner talaga.
Parang gusto ko na magpagupit ng ganito next week. lol Ang galing na talaga ng AI mang-convince. 😀
Mission accomplished na sana, kaso napansin ko na sa unang photo na na-generate niya, ang laki ng ulo ko (mayabang daw ako sa tingin ni ChatGPT). Sabi ko kay ChatGPT, “Witchikels, sakit na breast cancer lang po ang meron itong babae, hindi po kasama ang hydrocephalus.” huhuhu
Naubos ang image creation limit ko (up to 5 only sa free version ng ChatGPT) dahil pinapabago ko ang poses pati ang details sa background at sa outfit.Para lang ma-achieve itong “Crazy Rich Asian” na datingan ng photo na ito. Pero kapag ako talaga ‘yan, “Crazy Asian” lang. lol
Sabi ko, i-adjust niya ang size ng ulo ng babae para mag-match sa body build niya. In fairness, nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ang tamang edits, and the photos above are the best results. At dahil natuwa ako sa resulta, na-curious ako kung ano kaya kung pagawin ko naman ang tousled crop look.
Hindi ko muna pinagamit ang 2×2 ID photo ko at baka magka-hydrocephalus naman tayo. Sinabi ko lang na Asian woman, and I included my basic facial features, i.e., heart-shaped face, chubby cheeks, dark brown hair, etc. At ang resulta ay maeenganyo ka talaga gayahin ang mga suggested looks ni ChatGPT. Galing, noh?
Kaya next prompt ko kay ChatGPT eh i-apply na niya sa picture ko ang hairstyle na ito. And voila, the AI-generated images look so posh, hindi na pinalaki ulo ko. Humble na daw kasi uli tayo. I styled this look and mga poses at nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ‘yung bet kong concept.
The top has to be pink, kasi ‘yun ang universal awareness color ng breast cancer. Although this will not be the first time kasi noong high school ako, I sported this short hairdo – part of my rebellious teen era, which I am not proud of, by the way.
Siyempre, dahil nag-e-enjoy tayo kay ChatGPT, umiral na naman ang creative side, kaya simula sa crew cut hairstyle na napunta sa tousled crop hanggang sa nilagyan ng headband, tapos ang ending ay fashion styling. At siyempre, background si Mt. Mayon. Slay ba, mga ‘teh? 😀
Bet na bet ko itong may headband na scarf. Although ‘di nga masyado nakuha ni ChatGPTeksakto ang sa prompt ko kasi ang instruction ko sa kanya na nasa left side ng leeg ang knot ng scarf para sa mas edgy look.But I still love this look.
❤ Chinitang Bicolanang Fashionista ❤
‘Yung ganitong aura-han actually keribels siya kapag nasa UP Diliman ka. I wouldn’t think twice about wearing this while inside the Diliman campus; normal lang doon makakita ng mga extreme—nakapambahay na getup like bagong gising at nakasuot lang ng shorts, t-shirt, and tsinelas kasi late na sa klase at meron ding may nakatakong ng almost 1 foot na. Seryosooooo?!?!
Siyempre joke lang ‘yung 1 foot, basta mga very unique choices. We celebrate freedom of expression and creativity sa unibersidad, basta siyempre hindi offensive sa ibang tao. Kumbaga may limit pa din naman.
I would love to wear this here in Bicol sana, but most likely, I’ll be getting a lot of stares. Baka matawag pa tayong Disney Princess na galing sa Maynila. Or worse, nepo baby. Nepopotamus po siguro, pwede naman. Pero maganda rin mag-social experiment. Malay natin the mindset has shifted already, given na madami na gumagamit ng internet and social media.
I’ve already been seeing a lot of photos of brave women who shared their post-chemo and surgery pictures nila, because of breast cancer. I joined breast cancer support groups, by the way, on Facebook in 2023 after Mom passed away because of breast cancer. And one of these beautiful breast cancer warriors is Ms. Cams.
Her photos are BEAUTIFUL. She has a very pretty face (Coleen Garcia look-alike), but there is something about her aura that exudes confidence and a quiet strength, which makes her even more beautiful. And if ever ganito rin ang pagdaanan ko, gusto ko rin ng ganitong photos. Though for me, dahil nurturer ako, and I am ready to go na talaga, parang gusto ko alagaan si cancer, and I will just let it grow. lol
Waiting On God’s Will And Instructions
Seriously, death is only terrifying when we are not yet ready to go. And we will only be ready to go when there is peace in our hearts because of the following truths:
we have been saved by the Cross
we know that this world is only temporary
we believe we will see and will be reunited with our loved ones again, together with God, in the new Heaven and new Earth
we have faith that life in eternity is waaaaaay better.
I have this quiet resolve that whatever the diagnosis, whether I have stage 1 or stage 4 cancer, whether I have months or years to live, my perspective about death will never change – it is nothing to be feared, and it is an answered prayer. Why answered prayer? Who wouldn’t want to be with God in a place where everything is perfect? 😀
But then again, this is my wish. But what if God has another plan? Kasi meron ding desire sa puso ko na, if ever I have cancer and God wants me to survive it, I really want to be a volunteer patient assistant/coordinator/navigator. Nga lang, volunteering will require a lot of resources, time, and manpower. Kaya ang prayer ko kay God na bigyan Nya sana ako ng different sources of income that will give me more autonomy when managing my time, so I can still volunteer on the side.
May isa kasing incident noong 2023 sa isang Facebook group ng mga breast cancer warriors na hanggang ngayon hinding-hindi ko nakakalimutan. I shared an infographic from the Philippine Society of Medical Oncology about how to get treated kapag na-diagnose ng breast cancer, at may isang matandang babae who PMed me kung pwede ko daw syang samahan kasi 68 years old na sya and walang available to assist her.
I really would love to say yes, kaso at that time, I am still grieving over my Mom, and from Batangas sya tapos nasa Pasig City ako. Tsaka marami pa akong hindi alam about navigating through a breast cancer treatment as a patient. Pero naawa talaga ako sa kanya, ang sakit sa puso na I had to decline her request.
Marami pa akong need matutunan, like, paano ba ang sistema gaya ng pagpila kung ia-avail niya ang mga free treatments na ino-offer sa ating mga pampublikong ospital. Kaya sa tingin ko, kung mag-positive ako sa breast cancer and kahit ayawan ko ang medical treatment dahil siyempre stubborn ako, pero doon at doon din ako nili-lead ni God, I have no other choice but to obey in the end.
Sabi ko sa asawa ko na dito ko preferred sa Bicol magpa-checkup o magpagamot if ever. Tingin ko, lalo akong mase-stress sa traffic sa Manila, plus the metropolitan pollution might aggravate my allergic rhinitis at bababa ang immune system ko lalo.
Mas madali rin sa akin mag-commute via public transportation dito sa Bicol since plano kong mag-isa ko lang lalakarin ang lahat kasi gusto ko talagang matutunan kung paano ang pasikot-sikot ng sistema. At para malaman kung ano pa ang puwedeng ma-improve sa sistema to make it easier and more convenient sa mga kapwa pasyente.
Sa kaka-research ko, ang dami kong nahalungkat, pati ‘yung uso daw na mga kabitan sa medical field. Anyare algorithm at nasama ito sa research ko. Paki-explain please. Or else, off with your head, too. lol
Caring For The Community
Hindi ako most likely makakapasa as indigent, pero ang gusto kong tulungan kasi ay galing sa group nila. Hindi sa akin prob ang pumila nang mahaba kasi siyempre graduate ako ng University of Pila. Like ‘yung dito sa SMMG Medical Plaza sa Bulan na pipila sana ako ng mga 3am para kumuha ng slot para sa ultrasound ni Dad at every Saturday lang schedule nila.
Kaso, pag-research ko sa Fb, gabi pa lang na mga 10pm, pumipila na sila, tapos 35 lang daw ang slots, tapos 4am pa lang, puno na. I was shookt mga ‘teh. As in shakening shakening like that.
And yet, I am very GRATEFUL. Why?
May 35 na mga taga-Bulan ang nabibigyan ng serbisyong medikal gaya ng ultrasound bawat linggo. 35 na pasyente na ang nakatipid sa pamasahe para pumunta sa karatig na bayan at doon magpa-ultrasound. 35 na pasyente ang hindi bumyahe nang malayo o gumastos para sa pagkain nila.
Samantalang 10 years ago, marami ang deprived ng mga serbisyong pangkalusugang ito na, sadly, nakakadagdag sa mortality rate sa town. Kaya hindi na kami pumila, para ibigay na lang ang slot para sa mas nangangailangan na taga-Bulan. Dad can still travel pa naman at may sasakyan para comfortable ang byahe nya.
And another reason to be grateful is that may cardiologist na din sa Bulan, si Dr. Clarisse (Hi, Dra.!), Dad’s new cardio. She’s the first cardiologist, if I am not mistaken, in Bulan. We don’t have to go to Sorsogon City para sa follow-up checkup ni Dad every 3 months since kailangan ng close monitoring ang heart condition ni Daddy dahil 86 years old na sya and may Stage 5 CKD din.
Kaya hanga talaga ako sa mga doctors to the barrios and other health practitioners na mas pinili na manilbihan sa mga komunidad na malalayo sa kabihasnan. Hindi biro ang calling na ito, and it requires a lot of sacrifices. Sila na ang lumalapit sa mga komunidad para hindi na bumyahe nang malayo ang mga pasyente.
Parang ito ang counterpart ng Gurong Pahinungod, ang volunteer teaching program ng UP (w/ monthly stipend naman) na gusto ko rin sanang salihan, but I am only one, ang dami kong gustong gawin, and yet I cannot do everything. 😀
An Advocacy In The Making
Going back to BC cancer support groups, naghanap din ako kung merong breast cancer support groups sa Bicol sa Facebook. So far, Albay lang ang meron. Gusto ko gumawa din for Bulan or sa Sorsogon Province. Para mas madali ang breast cancer education para ma-raise ang awareness and ma-break ‘yung social stigma nila about having the illness or the medical treatments, in particular ‘yung chemotherapy kasi takot malagasan ng buhok or ‘yung mastectomy.
Isa sa nakikita ko na challenge ng mga galing dito sa Sorsogon ay ang transportation. Puwede magamit ang old Innova namin panghatid-sundo sana para sa lahat ng mga breast cancer patients sa Sorsogon if sa Sorsogon, Legazpi, or Naga pupunta. Need ko lang ng volunteer driver, kasi ayoko mag-drive when there are so many things running in my head tas sa pang-gas hanap pako ng magdo-donate, although may nakikita na akong prospect. 😀
Kausapin lang namin ang doktor namin kung puwede pare-pareho ang schedule ng appointments namin. Puwede kaya ‘yun? Sabihin ko, maggi-girl bonding kami sa ospital. Siyempre, maganda rin sana may free food and accommodation, especially if ang iba mag-u-undergo na ng treatments and traveling long distances nang tuloy-tuloy, e hindi advisable.
At kung indigents ang tutulungan, kahit basic needs salat sila, kaya hindi talaga nila priority ang pagpapagamot. Actually, if ma-diagnose ako with breast cancer, mag-a-agree lang ako to get medical treatments para ang libreng gamot na makuha ko, ibibigay ko sa breast cancer warrior who has young kids and ayaw na ayaw pa niyang mamaalam sa mundo because nafi-feel niya na madami pang pinapagawa sa kanya si Lord.
Altho sa accommodation, meron na akong nakikita din na host na possible can help us out. Kung nasa Manila ako, mabilis sana mag-organize ng ganito kasi ang mga friends ko doon, lalo na noong mga young professionals pa kami and single, ‘yung tipong kahit last-minute na invite para sa isang volunteering event, e go kaagad ang mga ‘yan.
‘Yung mga biglaang PM na “Hey girl, you free this weekend? Tara, volunteer tayo. No worries sa transpo and supplies, konting add na lang sa ganito ganyan.” 😀
Nga lang, feeling ko kami ‘yung mga grupo ng mga pasyente na maiingay kapag nasa ospital na. Kapag nakarinig kayo ng malalakas tumawa, alam na this. Siyempre, good vibes dapat, lalo na kung ang ibang pasyente e sobrang bigat talaga ng pinagdadaanan.
‘Yung tipong gusto ko silang biruin ng “Manay, huwag kang matatakot. Gusto mo sabayan kita papunta sa kabila. Pero syempre hatid lang kita. Kontratahin ko muna si Lord na bigyan ako ng return ticket. Kasi madami pa akong ia-assist sa Earth kaya need kong bumalik.”
Tapos bigla akong sinakal ni ate, noh, sabay sabing ayaw pa niyang mamaalam. Kaya ‘wag din basta-basta magbiro. Piliin ang tamang oras at tamang salita.
When God Plants A Dream
Pero honestly, ito talaga ang rason kaya nagkaroon ako ng hospice dream. I want patients to die with dignity because not all of us are privileged enough to die comfortably and surrounded by loved ones. Kahit man lang sa huling sandali, we give them the peace and comfort that they need lalo na kung hindi naman kayang mapunuan ang need na iyon sa bahay nila.
Right now, priority ko muna ang makapagpa-checkup, and I will let God lead me from there. Kaya ngayon, siyempre “ging-ot is life” muna ang motto natin. Panay gulay-gulay ang kinakain ko, kasama na ang 1 glass a day ng ni-blender na fresh malunggay leaves na may halong kalamansi, carrots, and cucumber. Being healthy means eating as much fiber and getting as many nutrients as you can.
Gaya nitong pinya sa aming bakuran. Benta ko sa inyo ng 300 pesos. Syempre, infleshun is realz. So yaaas, buy na plith. May kasama namang flying kick, este flying kiss ‘yarn. Joke lang, pang-garden-to-table lang po itong mga pinya namin.
Na hindi ko pa alam ang tawag. Sabi ko sa ate ko, ‘“Di ba Mariposa ito?” Sagot nya, “Ha? Butterfly kaya ‘yang mariposa.” Sagot ko, “Ay lam ko na, Hermosa tawag dito.” ‘Di na nya napigilan tumawa kasi apelyido daw ‘yun. Kaya to the rescue na si Daddy, Formosa pala tawag dito sa pinya namin sa bakuran. Maliliit pero super tamis.
Maganda din itong gawing smoothie. Parang kasing smoothie-fied ng mukha ko. Itong Oppo Kopong Kopong ko kasi pinagmumukha akong 20 years old sa filter nya. Buti pa si ChatGPT e pinagmumukha talaga akong 40 years old.
I-normalize natin ang bacon neckline of pambahay clothes because why not.
Wala po akong makeup dyan or anything. Kasi noong pumunta ako sa Watsons, nagpa-assist ako sa sales lady. Sabi ko, “Miss, anong compact powder kaya bagay sa akin kasi ang dami kong tan lines. Iba kulay ng mukha ko, iba din sa leeg, iba din sa braso, iba din sa kamay, tas iba sa binti, at iba din sa paa. Alin susundin natin?”
Tumawa na lang si Ate pero feeling ko gusto niya akong sagutin ng “Ma’am, bumili ka na lang po ng Johnson’s Baby Powder.”
Ayun, Johnson’s Baby Powder na nga lang talaga binili ko kasi naawa naman ako kay Ate sales lady. Hirap na hirap kasi siya pabalik-balik kakahanap ng magma-match sa zebra stripes ko. Mamaya hindi ko rin magamit kasi ayoko magmukhang nag-chinchansu.
Ayun lang po. End of the story na tayo kasi ang haba na nito. 99.9% na-convinced pala ako ni ChatGPT doon sa tousled crop look, kaya i-te-test ko one of these days ang predictive ability ni AI, na even without any 3D facial recognition involved, ang resulta ng tunay kong haircut ay tulad ng suggestion niya.
Kung hindi tugma ang resulta sa expectation, eh talagang hihingi na ako kay Lord ng sign kung will ba talaga Niya that I survive or exit na sa Earth.
Sabi ko kay Lord dapat ‘yung sign na ipapadala Niya ay kapag ang UP Diliman ay naging UP Liwanagan. ‘Yun, sure talaga ako na sign ‘yun na gusto pa Niya akong maghasik ng katatawanan sa mundong ito.
Siyempre joke lang ulit. Iba ang calling sa akin ni Lord na ihasik at ito ‘yun:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” – Luke 4: 18-19
I ordered this last week and got it yesterday.The random Bible verse listed under the container was God’s clearest sign.
Please pray for me and all those who are sick, and for God’s will to be done always. ❤ And don’t forget to smile and laugh always. 😀
P.S. May nahanap pala akong bagong playlist ng mga worship songs na papakinggan at Filipino Christian artists sila. Please do subscribe to their channel to show your support. Ang gogondo ng mga kanta nila. ❤
I also found these scholarly journals and research on the role of spirituality in the healing and recovery of patients with breast cancer. I am praying that more research will be conducted on this topic here in the Philippines, including Filipina breast cancer survivors as respondents. I volunteer as a respondent, if ever, and pwede rin akong mag-research assistant. Basta, wala lang computation. lol
Just Sharing – My Unusual Energy Of Other-Worldliness:
I slowly integrated Torti, our twenty-something-year-old male turtle, into our garden. It looks like he is nestled in quite comfortably.
This is one of the baby fruit bats that have been falling off the house’s roof vent as the heat index here in our town reaches 48 degrees Celsius. The effects of (super) El Niño on our wildlife will be critical. I pray for these creatures that they will survive.
This dragonfly has entered my bedroom, probably to cool itself down from the scorching heat outside. It breaks my heart that these little creatures will be the first to go when the effects of climate change worsen in the coming years. 😦
There was one time that I asked God, “Lord, why is it that I feel like I experienced so many things in just 40 years, things that I think I should experience for the entire 80 years or a lifetime?”
I never got a direct answer. Though I had my assumptions: 1) I am not to live long in this world, or 2) They are all part of God’s alignment towards His greater purpose.
Or it could be both. 😀
Lately, I’ve been contemplating the brevity of life after experiencing a radiating pain between my left armpit and breast that comes and goes. The first thing that came to my mind was: “Could this be breast cancer?”
I am now 40 years old, which means a yearly mammogram is recommended, given our family’s breast cancer history. My maternal grandma had a lumpectomy and lived with no recurrence until she was 94 years old.
My Mom had a mastectomy when she was also in her 40s, but had a recurrence, and we lost her at age 76 in 2023 due to stage 4 or metastatic breast cancer. Neither of them pushed through with chemotherapy at the onset of their diagnosis.
I just forgot to ask Mom’s oncologist (one of the best in Bicol), Dr. Louis Mervyn Leones, what type of breast cancer Mom had. TNBC (Triple-Negative Breast Cancer) is the most aggressive type of breast cancer with a high recurrence rate.
On my father’s side, we also had a grandma (my paternal grandpa’s sister) who passed on due to breast cancer. I am the only one among my sisters and me who’ve never undergone a mammogram, although I had an executive checkup in 2024, which included a breast ultrasound. And the results turned out negative, I was all clear.
When Health Becomes A Priority
I had that executive checkup because I’ve been getting UTIs frequently, sometimes every other month. And I am on antibiotics often, which is not good, by the way, as far as developing antibiotic resistance is concerned.
My allergic rhinitis also worsened, and I kept on getting nosebleeds often to the point that I was prescribed by my ENT doctor a maintenance medicine, and other medications to lessen the inflammation. Although one of her suggestions is a change in the environment, if I have the option to do so. That means living somewhere else since something in the condo might be triggering my allergies.
While the antihistamine she prescribed relieved me from the symptoms, such as a clogged nose, especially during the night, one of its side effects is brain fog. Dealing with this side effect is challenging for me because I do a lot of creative thinking in my work as a writer and a marketing professional.
After doing my research, I also found out that prolonged use of the medication is not advisable, as this can increase depression and agitation. So by 2022, after my husband resigned from work, we decided to come to Bulan and live here for good.
It also came in timely because in June 2023, Mom was confined and passed on in August of that year. This allowed me to help my siblings take care of her while she was at the hospital. Things didn’t pan out the way my husband and I planned, so my husband decided to work abroad, which didn’t work out, either.
But he’s now back in the country and working in Manila. I chose to stay here for 2 reasons: Manila might not be a healthy place for me to live in anymore, and Dad and my sister will need extra help here at home, as we are also going through a lot of transitions.
How God Leads In Preparing
Going back to the pain, I also thought it could be perimenopausal symptoms or back pain. But I also thought that maybe God is reminding me to have that yearly mammogram. Yes, Lord, I haven’t forgotten, but thank You for reminding me always.
I am planning on having it sometime in the last quarter of this year, after consulting with an ob-gyn, because we are very busy right now. And I am also in the process of preparing funding sources just in case the results aren’t favorable.
Although praise God, He’s given me lots of options already. I am also in the process of creating systems for the tasks here at home. In case I decide to get treatments, it will be easy to delegate the tasks that I’ll be leaving to my siblings or our house help.
If the results of the mammogram turned out positive, it would also affect the kind of employment opportunities that I should take on. I am currently organizing everything depending on what the result will be, so to speak.
Although, to be really honest, I am 90% decided to go for palliative care because I refuse to go through any medical treatments. I think I got influenced by Dr. Emanuel, although I am not going to wait until I am 75 years old. lol
If ever I meet with an oncologist, it’s only for the purpose of managing the symptoms, particularly in terms of pain management. Unless my doctor is very good at persuading, but persuading just happens to be my strength also. So, let’s see who will persuade whom. lol 😀
This is actually one of the reasons behind a dream to build a hospice at the farm, God willing. It is to provide patients with another option should they decline continuing medical treatments and opt for palliative or hospice care instead.
I already asked ChatGPT to create a feasibility study and a business plan, and it’s got potential and looks promising. This is a huge undertaking, though, and would most likely involve partnering with an institution to make this happen.
This is what Mom would’ve wanted, a choice that we couldn’t give to her because she’s already very sick at that time, and taking her out of the hospital will increase the possibility of her dying sooner. She might not even last 24 hours after we leave the hospital. We were able to care for her (intensive care since she’s on a ventilator already) for 2 months at the hospital after finding out the doctor’s diagnosis.
Sabi ng isa sa mga nurses na nag-attend kay Mommy, si Mommy daw ang pinakamatagal na pasyente na na-confine sa buong history ng ospital noong time na andoon kami. And that is the irony, because Mom actually hated hospitals, and she had a white coat syndrome. 😀
When God Meets Us Where We Are
Going back to my predicament, I’m still not dismissing the idea that maybe God has another plan for me, and He wants me to get treated because the experience is part of His will for my life. What I have mentioned above are all my plans and wishes.
And I can be very stubborn sometimes (or most of the time) na kung pwede lang mag-Bikol si God, malamang sa malamang ang sasabihin Nya sa akin: “Tin, minsan gud talaga dianison ka man taphudon.” hakhak 😆
I remembered one time when Mom told one of her doctors that her children have very strong personalities. I was in the room when she said that, and I couldn’t help but laugh because it’s very true.
Ah, yes, those moments with Mom at the hospital were all an eye-opener for me. In fact, when her oncologist told us about the diagnosis and prognosis, I thought I’d tell it to her in the way that I know best – through writing.
Since today is Friday, I just reminisced about everything that happened in the last 40 years of my life. I was born in Bulan and lived here until I was 16 years old. Then, from 2002 until 2022, I lived in Manila before coming back and living here in Bicol again.
Looking back, I am extremely grateful to God for all of the opportunities He opened for me, all the awesome people I have met, and all the wisdom I have learned from the experiences, good and bad.
I have zero regrets, and in fact, I always tell God that 40 years old is already a good age to die. Because God provided me with everything I have needed and wanted, I accomplished everything that I set my heart out to do, and I am already content.
I also don’t have kids, and my husband is back on track in his career and thriving by God’s grace. I feel like I am ready to go any time.
But just like what Lagertha said in the video I shared in this article: “But who knows what [God] has in store for us, Ragnar. Who knows what [God] has in store for us.”
As what was written in Ecclesiastes 3, “there is a time for everything.” When I was in Manila, it was a time of so many experiences, a lot of moving around. This time, I think God is asking me to slow down, settle down.
I don’t know if this is a journey that is about to end, or if this is the start of yet another journey. Or it is time to be on an eternal journey with Him.
All I know is that when God moves and asks us to move, too, go to a new place, or give up some things, we have to obey even if we don’t understand why and even if it makes us uncomfortable or it becomes unsettling.
Because in the end, in our surrender, God is worthy of it all. He will always be worthy. ❤
Here are some Bible verses to help us get through difficult seasons that we are experiencing in our lives, in our society, and in our world now:
Strength and Courage
Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Peace and Comfort
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Healing and Renewal
Jeremiah 30:17: “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord.”
Isaiah 40:31: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Trust and Refuge
Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” – Psalm 32:8
“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.” – 2 Corinthians 4:8
P.S. I asked ChatGPT to recreate a photo of mine and change my hair to bald because I wanted to see what I look like without any hair. ChatGPT just sort of malfunctioned and kept coming up with a notification that it can’t process my request at the moment. lol So, I thought I’d just look up that very memorable moment of the UP Pep Squad when they won their 3rd championship at the UAAP Cheerdance Competition. I wasn’t able to watch it live because this happened in 2012, and I was doing my master’s thesis back in UP Diliman during this time, which I wasn’t able to finish because life got in the way. Madaling pumasok sa UP Diliman, mahirap lang talaga lumabas. 😀 But I was born-again in 2013 (my biggest milestone in life), and I was able to get my teaching license in 2016 because of the units I earned in my graduate study.
The hair is a woman’s crowning glory. But these pretty cheerleaders made a bold and bald move, going against society’s dictates of what “beautiful” meant – and the glory was given back, as champions. 🙂
SY 2011-2012: Hanapin ang sobrang naiiba at nakakaiyak na grade – the one and only. Gaaah, why does Math hate me so much??? Partida, nag-removal exam na ako nyan ha. lol Saklap much lungs. 😀
P.P.S. Since it’s the weekend, you might want to read some of the articles below just to give you an idea of some of the things that transpired during the last couple of decades in my life. I might go on social media hibernation because I plan on having a prayer and fasting just to seek God’s leading on everything that’s going on. To give you a heads up, though, most of these articles run on 1,000 words and above. 😀
There is something about the Bikol language that I find particularly romantic. It’s like the local counterpart of French, which is dubbed as the most romantic language all over the world.
So I thought, why not ask ChatGPT to translate one of the poems I’ve written from way, way back about unrequited love? Because I’m a Lit major, that’s why. 😀 I wrote this poem some time ago, which is dedicated to all hopeless romantics, because let’s admit it, every generation has a hopeless romantic.
According to an article by the Cornell Daily Sun, the idea of hopeless romanticism can be largely attributed to American pop culture, where love takes center stage in most art projects, oftentimes influenced by artistic culture in every generation.
I also wanted to see how fluent ChatGPT is in the vernacular language. And I was once again impressed with its wide Bikol vocabulary, although some words were translated into Filipino, I think.I asked ChatGPT which Bikol language it uses, and it mentioned Central Bikol. From Naga area daw ako. Mukhang doon siya nagkamali. ahahay
I also asked ChatGPT to come up with an image that would best fit the poem, and voila, it already went ahead and incorporated the poem in the image. Very proactive, right? 😀
“Kun Sana Magibo Ko, Alagad Sagkod Duman” by Christine Lailani
ChatGPT included the Mayon volcano, possibly because it’s one of Bicol’s most famous landmarks. And the composition of details in this image is very fluid, no element is out of sync. The galaxy, the moon, and the stars also somehow added to the romantic feel of the poem.
Speaking of “shooting stars,“ it looked like Mayon wishes to end the month of May (please do read my previous articles for the MAY/Mt. Mayon Series) in a blaze of glory (figuratively). Because last night, PHIVOLCS reported a meteor sighting that fell towards the Mayon volcano, though the agency confirmed that the meteor dissipated in the atmosphere before reaching one of the volcano’s slopes.
It looked like some Albayano’s wish was answered last night. 😉 Lakas nya kay Lord, meteor ang pinadalang sign. You already. lol
To quote:
In the Bible, meteors, shooting stars, and falling stars primarily represent divine judgment, the end of the age, and spiritual rebellion. While not using the modern word “meteor,” the scriptures frequently describe falling stars as signs of God’s power and the temporary nature of the universe. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]
Key Symbolic Meanings
The End Times & Judgment: In the New Testament, falling stars are heavily associated with the Second Coming of Jesus and the Tribulation. Jesus stated in Matthew 24:29 that after the tribulation, “the stars will fall from the sky”.
Spiritual Corruption: In Jude 1:13, false teachers are compared to “wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever”.
Cataclysmic Plagues: In the Book of Revelation, large celestial objects like comets or burning meteors are used to symbolize catastrophes. For instance, a great, burning star named “Wormwood” is prophesied to fall from heaven, poisoning a third of the earth’s drinking water. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
Awestruck Reminders
Beyond doom and judgment, meteors in the Bible serve as stark reminders that the universe is vast, temporary, and completely under God’s authority. For a deep dive into the prophetic texts, you can explore the eschatological themes of cosmic disturbances directly on Bible Hub. [1, 2]
(Source: Google/AI)
Going back to ChatGPT, the potential of AI is ever-increasing year after year. Although we all know that AI technology uses a lot of natural resources. That is why I have been asking ChatGPT how they plan on combating resource depletion and avoiding environmental degradation on a massive scale.
And it is also my prayer that AI technology will be used for the good of mankind and the Earth, and not the other way around, because of selfish ambitions. Pope Leo XIV just recently expressed the church’s concerns about AI in “Magnifica Humanitas.“
Speaking of AI and Mt. Mayon, I had an idea about asking ChatGPT to create a level 4 Mt. Mayon disaster scenario and the corresponding emergency response during above-normal rainfall. It came up with a very comprehensive result.
Level 4 Emergency Scenario: Mayon Volcano During Above-Normal Rainfall
Scenario Title
“Compound Volcanic and Hydrometeorological Disaster: Mayon Volcano Alert Level 4 with Extreme Rainfall”
Situation Overview
Mayon Volcano is under Alert Level 4, indicating that a hazardous explosive eruption is possible within days. Simultaneously, the Bicol Region is experiencing above-normal rainfall due to a tropical depression enhanced by the southwest monsoon.
Heavy rainfall saturates volcanic deposits on Mayon’s slopes, significantly increasing the risk of:
Lahars (volcanic mudflows)
Flash floods
Landslides
River channel overflows
Ashfall remobilization
Several municipalities within the 6–8 km Permanent Danger Zone (PDZ) and extended danger areas are affected.
Scenario Timeline
Phase 1 – Pre-Eruption Conditions (Day 1)
Indicators
Increased volcanic earthquakes and harmonic tremors
National Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council
Department of Social Welfare and Development
Department of Health
Philippine Red Cross
Emergency Operations Center (EOC)
Activated at:
Provincial level
Municipal level
Barangay level
ICS Functional Sections
Operations
Planning
Logistics
Finance/Admin
Public Information
Emergency Response Actions
A. Evacuation Operations
Immediate Actions
Mandatory evacuation within 8 km radius
Forced evacuation in lahar-prone river channels
Prepositioning of buses, trucks, and rescue vehicles
Priority Groups
Elderly
Pregnant women
Children
Persons with disabilities
Hospital patients
Evacuation Challenges
Flooded roads
Nighttime evacuation
Panic and misinformation
B. Search and Rescue (SAR)
Deployment
Swift water rescue teams
Urban search and rescue teams
Military augmentation units
Equipment Needed
Rubber boats
High-clearance vehicles
Thermal drones
Satellite communication systems
C. Public Health Response
Health Risks
Acute respiratory infections
Gastrointestinal disease outbreaks
Skin infections
Psychological trauma
Response Measures
Distribution of N95 masks
Mobile medical clinics
Emergency vaccination
Mental health support services
D. Relief and Humanitarian Assistance
Essential Supplies
Food packs
Potable water
Hygiene kits
Blankets and sleeping mats
Shelter Management
Physical distancing enforcement
Gender-sensitive spaces
Child-friendly areas
E. Engineering and Infrastructure
Priority Tasks
Clearing lahar debris
Restoring power lines
Temporary bridge installation
River monitoring
Critical Monitoring Areas
Miisi River
Bonga Gully
Basud River
Mabinit Channel
Warning and Communication Strategy
Public Warning Systems
SMS alerts
Sirens
Radio broadcasts
Social media advisories
Key Public Messages
Avoid river channels and low-lying areas
Wear masks and eye protection
Boil water before drinking
Follow official evacuation orders only
Recovery Considerations
Short-Term Recovery
Damage assessment
Debris clearing
Restoration of utilities
Livelihood assistance
Long-Term Recovery
Relocation of high-risk communities
Reforestation and slope stabilization
Improved lahar diversion systems
Strengthened early warning systems
Worst-Case Escalation Scenario
If rainfall continues for 5–7 days after the eruption:
Massive secondary lahars may occur even without further eruption
Additional municipalities may require evacuation
Long-term displacement may exceed 6 months
Economic losses may affect agriculture, tourism, and transportation across the Bicol Region
Recommended Emergency Preparedness Measures
Before Eruption
Conduct pre-emptive evacuation drills
Stockpile food and medical supplies
Inspect evacuation centers
Prepare alternate transport routes
During Eruption
Maintain 24/7 monitoring
Restrict entry into danger zones
Disseminate hourly advisories
After Eruption
Continue lahar monitoring during rainfall
Conduct structural safety inspections
Provide psychosocial support programs
P.S. I am praying more Bikolano artists will come up with a lot of art workshops (art therapy included), such as a paint-by-number Mt. Mayon art workshop. I think it would be a great way for artist wannabes, young and old alike, to learn about color blending (I am not good at this) using an actual paintbrush. The photo below is an example of a design template for the workshop, which I generated through ChatGPT. The more design templates, the better. Ipi-print na lang sya. 😀
P.P.S. I requested ChatGPT, by the way, to convert the Bikol poem to a song, and it came up with a creative rendition. Well, without the melody, of course. I am praying I get to play it on my guitar one of these days, God willing. 🙂
“Sagkod Duman” by Christine Lailani (A Bikol Love Song)
Verse 1 Kun sana mahiling ta ka pa giraray Nin saro pang pagkakataon Dadal-on ko sa sakong isip An lambang parte nin saimong ngonit
Kun sana makapaghimangraw ako Asin masabi an nasa puso Alagad ini na mga tataramon Sa papel lamang nagtatao nin buhay
Pre-Chorus Bako man kita magkarani An sakong gugma dai nagbabago Sa gab-i asin sa aldaw Ikaw pa man giraray
Chorus Sagkod duman, higugmaon ta ka Maski harayo an saimong harong Sagkod duman, hihingakon ta An ngaran mo sa lambang panahon
Asin kun dai pa kita tinadhana Mahapot ako sa Dios na bantayan ka Ta an gugma ko para saimo Magtitinindog sagkod duman
Verse 2 Kun sana mahiditan ta ka pa Asin mayakap nin mahigpit Mabatyagan an init nin saimong presensya Na minsan nang nagtao nin kapayapaan
Kun sana maitao ko gabos An sakong puso asin kalag Alagad panahon muna an bahala Na mag-ayo nin mga pilat
Pre-Chorus Bako man kita magkarani An sakong gugma dai naglalaya Sa bituon asin bulan Ikaw an sakong orasyon
Chorus Sagkod duman, higugmaon ta ka Maski harayo an saimong harong Sagkod duman, hihingakon ta An ngaran mo sa lambang panahon
Asin kun dai pa kita tinadhana Mahapot ako sa Dios na bantayan ka Ta an gugma ko para saimo Magtitinindog sagkod duman
Bridge Naglalampas sa dagat asin kabukidan Dai matitinag nin unos asin panahon Sa idalum nin mga bituon Ikaw an awit nin sakong puso
Final Chorus Sagkod duman, padagos ini An gugma kong dai nauubos Maski tahaw an pagitan ta Ikaw pa man an sakong kahinguwan
Sagkod duman, sakong marahay na gugma Mahapot ako na mag-abot kita Sa tamang oras nin buhay Sagkod duman… Sagkod duman…
Who are your favorite wizards and sorcerers? I think some of you will answer “Gandalf.” That is my answer, too. Or maybe some of you prefer Merlinor Dumbledore. If you have watched the Netflix series “Vikings,” Ragnar’s second wife is also a seeress.
Though I prefer Lagertha. Because I love to joke around, and if I am seated beside a friend of mine na bentang benta sa kanya mga jokes koat mahilig manghampas, I have to ready myself with anything I can grab so when she starts laughing and hitting, I’m going to shout like Lagertha: “Shield wall!”. lol
This reminds me of my favorite niece (my eldest sister’s daughter), with whom I share the same sense of humor. She always gets my jokes and just laughs her heart out to the point that we are both crying tears of joy in the middle of our jokes.
Sometimes we don’t have to say anything to one another. Just one look, and she can read what’s on my mind. Then we would just start bursting into laughter.
Ah, yes, I love my pamangkins. They are my only niece and nephew in the family since it’s only my eldest sister who has kids among all five of us, siblings.
Speaking of my niece, I very much appreciate her for choosing this ARTherapy as one of their Christmas gifts last year for me (for all the ladies in the family, actually), because it came in very timely. And she’s given me a deadline for the artwork – I should be done before she comes back in December. Whew, tough challenge, but I’m on to it. 😀
Because when words fail, I do art.Thank you so much, Ate Cilque! ❤
It looks like someone got the gift of prophecy in the family, too, a seer. 😉 Both my niece and nephew are very gifted, by the way. Their mental age was more advanced than their chronological age when they were growing up, and it remains so now.
I lift them both in prayer that they will be able to answer to God’s unique calling for them, too. It is because of them that’s why I am actively supporting advocacies and interceding through prayer on how to help in alleviating local and global social issues. Not exactly for my future, but for theirs.
What Are Seers?
Going back to seers and prophets (some articles claim that these two are different from one another), you might be wondering why I am writing an article on them. I was led to this topic during one prayer time. Some articles here in my blog were written to bring joy, but some were also born from tears.
And this article is one of them. This is, I guess, the downside of being given wisdom that bears too much weight – there are times you find it difficult to express it in words.
Having the gift of prophecy is a blessing. But it comes with a heavy responsibility, most especially when the news you need to deliver is not good.
That’s why I don’t talk, or I choose to be quiet when at the height of a certain event, because I remembered what Mom once told me that my words are like a weapon. When I wield it, it’s enough to kill someone. In Bicol, we call it “marara an surumaton.”
When I am angry (and because I am human), I blurt out words that are somehow a curse, and they come true. And I guess that is the punishment there for me. Because when I see people suffering because what I said came true, there’s always this urge to take them back.
But we all know, once words get out, there is no taking them back. This is no witchcraft where you can reverse a curse. Or a wizardry spell to change everything back to how it is.
And this is how I learned some of my most painful lessons. That it is better to speak life than condemn. That if you must oppose and call out a sin, do so with gentleness, respect, and love. That the goal is never to destroy people, but to win them to Christ.
But in sharing the Gospel, it’s the backlash that prophets and seers are expected to endure. In fact, it is a higher calling that requires putting even your own life at stake just to deliver the truth and what the king and the people need to hear.
Most of the prophets in the Bible worked closely with a king or a ruler of a kingdom. Some say that the church should never meddle with the affairs of the government and vice versa. But if we look at the Bible, the prophets did play a huge role alongside the king.
Our modern-day seers now oftentimes work away from the limelight. They usually don’t get the credit. But you’ll see them working in a team or at times alone, observing, analyzing, supporting, and predicting.
That is why I agree with ditching the “Savior” politics mindset. The success of a leader is always because of the team behind him. There is only one Savior, and that is Jesus Christ.
And yet it is God who appoints kings and rulers.
I highlighted it because there is a growing sentiment of outrage that is even creeping into our churches, and we must be careful enough to prevent it from causing any divisions.
Words can start a war or calm a crowd. I urge everyone to do the latter. We cannot afford civil disobedience at this point.
Because there are even “greater forces” that we need to be fighting against, and it will require ALL of us to work together. This is only the beginning, and there is more coming – far worse, and at a far bigger scale.
A quiet revolution is starting, which is why I am praying with and for the spiritual leaders to be able to lead their flock well.
Because it is starting.
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” – Ephesians 6:12
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” – Romans 13:1-2
I know. I know how it feels to be betrayed, multiple times, by people whom you trusted. And yet I also know how it feels to continue loving them despite it all because of the Bible verses above. It is extremely difficult to be able to endure it with no end in sight. And yet we are all answerable to this question when God asks us: What did I say in the Bible about love?
Last night, I randomly opened my Bible seeking clarity for the overwhelming things going on. And here’s where the Spirit led me: God Will Judge With Equity.
God says, “At the time I have planned, I will bring justice against the wicked. When the earth quakes, and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm.”– Psalm 75:2-3
“For the vision awaits an appointed time; it testifies of the end and does not lie. Though it lingers, wait for it, since it will surely come and will not delay.” – Habakkuk 2:3
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1
May it be a reminder. May it be our comfort. May it be our hope. May we continue doing what God asked us to do where He placed us and with what He’s given us. Because there’s a lot of work waiting for us to do – and it doesn’t include going against one another.
And for all others, we let God do the work. May we live out God’s calling for you and me, and this is my prayer for all of us in Jesus’ Mighty Name. 🙏
P.S. Here’s something sentimental to remember Lagertha, the most famous shieldmaiden. After you watched it, tell me you didn’t cry. Because if you didn’t, I’ll make you cry. lol I am just kidding. 😀
P.P.S. This is how I’ll make you cry – lipote or balig-ang, as we call it in Bulan, because it is very sour. This was one of my favorite snacks when I was a kid, and I plan on growing a couple of them in our farm.
Lipote FruitWe shake it in salt and sugar to balance the sourness of this fruit.Balig-ang
May nakita ako noong isang araw sa sentro kaya bumili ako at nag-crave. Kaya siguro ‘di ako nagkaanak kasi alam ni God na kapag naglihi ako, ‘yung tipong kahit madaling araw ganito ang eksena: “Hon, gusto kong kumain ng ‘kinagang.”
O ‘di ba, ‘kinagang’ sa hatinggabi, Teh. Saan ka hahanap ‘nun, sige nga. 😆
By the way, ‘kinagang’ is one of Bicol’s heirloom dishes. It is one of my favorite viands here in Sorsogon, but it’s now so difficult to find one. Maybe this is my cue to learn how to cook one. 😉
I first introduced an AI-generated image of Panganoron in the article, “Celebrating MAY-on,” without using a reference photo. I thought I’d let AI come up with its own version of Panganoron, and I just edited some details for the revised image. So, this guy is nonexistent in our world, but maybe he exists in the parallel universe. 😀
Here’s my step-by-step guide on creating the images of Daragang Magayon and Panganoron, which I generated through ChatGPT.
Step 1: Create a character profile (image version)by coming up with specific details for your initial prompts.
Panganoron V. 2.0Daragang MagayonV. 2.0
Step 2. Recreate Daragang Magayon’s photo and change it to an active combat stance with a gritty expression.
Step 3: Combine these three images to create the movie poster or book cover design template.
I requested ChatGPT to adjust the lighting for this photo.
Step 4: Add the movie or book title. You can indicate which words in the title you want to emphasize, i.e., capitalized, bigger font, font style, etc. Then include other design elements you want to see in your image. In this case, I added the “fire” element around the title.
Design Concept #1(Dark Theme)
Design Concept #2: I added a headshot of Daragang Magayon since this new narrative is about her. This is a great design concept, but the outline of the Mayon volcano is hidden, and methinks there are just too many details.Is this a yay or a nay? What do you think? 🙂
These are some of the design concepts I came up with, and I am still considering creating more, so there are more options to choose from. But I think the design concept above better fits the new narrative.
Here’s the new image I generated of the heroine and her love interest, which can be used as sort of a “teaser” copy. Though I think it is perfect as a pre-nup photoshoot inspo. lol
Version 1 (Portrait Mode)
Question: Bakit kaya si Panganoron naka-sandals at si Daragang Magayon ay nakapaa?
Answer: Naisip yata ni ChatGPT, para daw kapag tumuga si Mt. Mayon, kakargahin ni Panganoron si Daragang Magayon ala “hokage moves” para hindi mapaso ang paa ni Daragang Magayon ng hot lava.
Ay ambot saimo, ChatGPT. lol
Version 2 (Landscape Mode)
Seryoso na ngani. O di ba, no need umakyat ng Ligñon Hill para sa pre-nup photos nyo. 😀
Once again, ChatGPT just never underdelivers as long as you make very detailed prompts. The results always exceeded my expectations, and I only had to do some minor edits to achieve the designs that I desired.
Aside from the combat stances, I also tried experimenting with other actions, such as “bathing in the river.” In the local legend, Daragang Magayon fell into the river and was saved by Panganoron. This was their first encounter.
Unfortunately, ChatGPT cannot generate exactly what I had in mind about a woman bathing in the river. Or maybe I need to tweak my prompts a bit more. But I am still satisfied with the results.
And I took the left photo above to yet another level to test how far AI can go by asking ChatGPT to incorporate it in fashion designing and styling. I just had to request some edits later on, so I’d get my desired results.
This includes replacing the accessories with a tribal or Boho-inspired necklace and earrings, adding a woven brown belt, and changing the background to a soft and mellow ambiance. My first prompt included the black, tight-fitting long-sleeved top with Sabrina neckline, the cream-colored wedge shoes, and the A-line, long skirt.
First AttemptFinal Version
I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of “artwear,”or art that you can wear, particularly with paintings. If you ask me if I will wear anything like what the model wears above, my answer is “yes.” Well, depending on the occasion, of course.
Do you think my chickens will love me more when they see me wearing this? I mean, they’re the only creatures outside of the house who see me often here since I don’t go out often. 😀
By the way, if you want to use some of these images, please don’t hesitate to send me a message or just comment down below. ❤ Including my face in the AI-generated images is one of my strategies, so nobody would steal my photos. lol Oh, and yes, I am using the free version only of ChatGPT.
P.S. I mentioned in some of my previous articles that Mom designed her dresses when she was in her early 20s and had them sewn by a seamstress here in our town. She got her inspo from fashion magazines and made her own fashion creations, too. Sadly, these dresses don’t fit me anymore since I already weigh 58 kgs. lol
P.P.S. I am grateful that the provincial government of Albay made considerations for preemptive evacuations of communities near the Mayon volcano in preparation for the rainy season. In case there are emergency evacuations during heavy lahar flows, I hope the LGU will prioritize less crowded and more evacuation sites. The Philippines is currently on standby for the possibility of a Hantavirus and/or an Ebola outbreak in the country.
Air ambulances might also be necessary if there are a lot of routes that are impassable due to lahar flows. If Mayon continues its activity for the rest of the year, we can expect more buildup of PDCs and other debris on the slopes of the volcano. This will increase the likelihood of path changes in the gullies, possibly extending beyond the 6km permanent danger zone. Weather experts have already warned that we will experience above-normal rainfall volume this year due to El Niño, which will persist until 2027.
I am also praying that no mining operations will be allowed near Mt. Mayon, whether privately funded or not, Filipino-owned or owned by a foreign investor.
Pirmi lang kirita magpangadyi, maghanda, nyan magsunod sa abiso. 🙏
Earlier today, I just had an idea to create an abstract painting of Mt. Mayon using ChatGPT because I wanted to test the limitations of AI in art creation. Once again, I was completely stunned by the results.
But how we write our prompts really matters. And I’m going to show why. My first prompt went like this: “Create an abstract painting of Mt. Mayon with swirls.” I included swirls because I want it to be a Van Gogh-inspired painting using details from his famous artwork, “The Starry Night.” This was the image generated.
“Mt. Mayon And The Dreamy Sky“
It’s beautiful, right? But when I ran the image on Google Reverse Image Search, there was a painting very similar to this. I had to mention it here so I wouldn’t encounter any copyright infringement issues.
If you want the generated image to be unique, the prompt has to include very specific details. What I did, I created a new prompt by tapping the visual artist in me for the nitty-gritty details. It came just in time, too, because it’s been a while since I had any artwork done.
And this was the result:
“When Daragang Magayon Visits Mt. Mayon“
I was totally blown away by the result. I ran it on Google Reverse Image Search, and indeed, it’s a unique image with copyright belonging to yours truly, of course. Just ask for my permission if you want to use it, though. 😀
There are no other images online similar to it. I am not sure, though, if there are real paintings that closely resemble this one. Please do inform me if you know of any. I would truly appreciate it. You can contact me on my social media profiles in the About Me section of this website. 👍
At the start of the month, I also wrote an article entitled “Daragang MagayonVersion 2.0: A Love Story Forged in Fire,” where I also used ChatGPT to create my images of Daragang Magayon.
So, I wondered, why is it that I feel like I am “Mayon-ified” this May? 😀 There must be a connection between May and the Mayon volcano. I typed into Google Search and voila, “Magayon Festival” is actually celebrated during this month. It started out as a month-long celebration in 1999, founded by former Albay governor Sir Al Francis Bichara.
Then I realized, my Daragang Magayon article is actually incomplete because it doesn’t even have a photo of Panganoron or him and Daragang Magayon when it’s supposed to be a love story. lol
Say “Hi” to Panganoron version 2.0.
This is not the first image generated because the first one looked more buffed with long hair. I requested ChatGPT to recreate a leaner version of the image with shorter hair because I think this character fits the new narrative better. 😀
But for the photo of the lovers, I thought the first ChatGPT version of Panganoron best fits the image composition because it resembles the original version of the local legend. I also made different variations since the first photo looked too simple, though it’s also appealing. So, I requested ChatGPT to add brighter colors and to increase the brightness and contrast of the first image.
First Attempt
I love this photo more, which is a painting version of the image above. This got me feeling so amused because my real hair is actually wavy, very much like the hair of Daragang Magayon here. ChatGPT, you tryin’ to mess with me?!?! lol I’m just kidding. Well, I don’t have a cleft chin. And of course, they have to have ‘matchy-matchy’ outfits. 😀
I also ran this image on Google, and it’s all original. Yaaay! 😀
Since I got inspired by Mt. Mayon’s AI abstract paintings above, I also requested ChatGPT to come up with an abstract version of the lovers’ painting. And the result is an entirely different but equally captivating work of art.
Which painting do you like best? 🙂
The “Magayon Festival” this year was cancelled, though, due to the energy crisis and the heightened activity of Mt. Mayon. Hopefully, it will resume next year. And maybe the PTCAO of Albay will include Digital Art as a sub category under Contemporary Art in a Mt. Mayon art contest if they ever have one.
I think it is a good way to entice the younger generations to have a deeper appreciation of local culture and explore digital art more, especially since they are more digitally adept. I believe all of us have an artist in us. We just have to find the right medium where we can express our art better. 🙂
And, of course, the greatest artist is none other than Him:
“How many are your works, LORD! In wisdom You made them all; the earth is full of Your creatures.” – Psalm 104:24
P.S.
The Flower Festival or “Flores de Mayo” is also celebrated during May. The photos below show the flowers in bloom now in the garden. Mom had more vibrant flowers because she devoted so much of her time tending and taking care of our garden when she was still alive.
We celebrated Mother’s Day this year by placing some of her orchids that are prolific bloomers and some Birds of Paradise flowers. I bet Mom’s enjoying even more beautiful flowers in the heavenly paradise with our Creator. 🥰
Happy Mother’s Day in heaven, Mommy! We miss you. ❤
Fragrant Rosal flowers for you from ze garden. ❤
I planted these Bougies in 2022, and they’ve been transplanted several times already. lol They’re going to be transplanted again once the construction of the Chicken House starts.It is actually one of my dreams to revive a dying forest and turn it into a Garden of Eden, God willing. 🙏
P.P.S.
If you’re wondering why I am into creating images through graphic design, I have been working in the digital marketing industry since 2013 as a brand journalist and a copywriter. In my line of work, I pitch ideas to the graphic design team during brainstorming sessions for every ad copy that I write. Some of my former clients also requested images included in the write-up upon submission. I am currently on a career break, as circumstances are not in favor of balancing online work and obligations at home. But I can’t wait to be back in the workforce, once everything’s sorted out, if God wills it.
Kapit lang tayo. Nag-promise ako kay Lord na hindi ako magko-comment sa Facebook sa mga balita about sa ganap sa mga bagay-bagay na madalas pag-debatehan. And yet hindi ko napigilan kagabi. Kaya dito na lang ako magsusulat, para mas safe. 😀
Don’t worry, hindi naman ako nam-bash doon, nag-share lang ako ng opinyon ko. And hindi ko alam kung may mga nag-reply ng harsh comments doon sa ni-post ko kasi hindi ko na nitignan notifications ko.
Kasi na-lesson learned ako dyan before noong pinatulan ko. ahahaha Ni-rebuke ako ni God at ito ang mga Bible verses na pinatagos sa akin na as in no choice na ako after that incident but to obey.
2 Timothy 2:23-24 (NIV): “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”
Titus 3:9 (NLT): “Do not involve yourself in foolish arguments, genealogies, quarrels, and fights about the law. These things are useless and a waste of time.”
Proverbs 17:14 (NIV): “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”
1 Timothy 6:4-5 (NIV): Warns that a craving for controversy leads to envy, quarreling, and malicious talk. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
Kaya ang naging goal ko after that na kapag hindi ko mapigilan mag-comment sa social media, the comment should be neutral, unbiased, and mapupulutan ng aral ng kung sinong makakabasa. AND ALSO, let them take it or leave it ang siste. To those who agree with you, makikinig sila.
Pero sa mga hindi, let them be. Ang goal lang is to share and not insist my side. In fact, tinuruan ako ng sitwasyon na ‘yun to welcome even the negative feedback. Kasi ang kagandahan doon e lumalawak ‘yung perspektibo mo sa mga bagay-bagay.
Hindi ka man agree doon sa sinabi ng isa pero iba din ang pinakita sa’yo ni Lord through that comment. But for an issue na sobrang madadala ka emotionally, my suggestion talaga is observe muna. Basa ng info from a lot of different sources tas saka mag-comment pero bago i-send basahin paulit-ulit ang ni-type at ‘wag agad agad i-send.
Parang kapag LQ nyo lang din ni labidabs mo, ‘wag agad ise-send sa kanya mga ni-type mo sa sobrang galit. Isulat mo muna sa Notes tas balik-balikan mo sya. Edit edit ganun, dagdag dito, bawas doon. Hanggang sa nakalimutan mo na i-send sa kanya.
O minsan umabot na ng short dissertation sa haba, kahit ikaw e inantok ka na basahin ulit. lol I-publish na lang kaya as libro, noh? Baka mapagkakitaan pa, sayang naman ng oras mo kaka-type at edit. 😅
‘Yung title syempre e gawin mong “Mga Hanash at Hugot Na Hindi Nabasa Ng Mahal Ko Kaya Sainyo Ko Na Lang Ipapabasa.” Di ba, title pa lang, alam mong ang haba-haba na ng babasahin mo.
Charla langs. Keep what is private as private unless need talaga sya i-share for context. But still, may discernment pa din dapat.
Kaya suggestion ko talaga, ‘wag na ‘wag ka mag-aasawa ng writer. Kasi ang reply nyan sa’yo lagi sa chat e hindi bababa sa 200 words.
Ang boring naman kasi kung ang reply mo e “Okay, pwede naman hehehe.” ‘Pag ganun talaga e i-block na yarn. Blocked agad, Beh?Joke lang syempre. Block nyo na ako kapag ‘di kayo natawa. ✌️
Pero sa Facebook, rule of thumb talaga is ‘wag nang babasahin ang comments sa comment mo kapag very controversial ang topic, not even the reactions. Believe me, you will be very tempted to defend your side.
Kaya refrain na lang tayo. Let those who want to hear you out, hear you out. Let those who oppose you, oppose you. And be okay with that.
Bible Verses on Training Your Inner Ears For Spiritual Sensitivity
9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”
10 The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”
11 He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12 Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 13 This is why I speak to them in parables:
“Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’[a]
16 But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17 For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.
18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19 When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path.
20 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.
22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.
23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” – Matthew 13: 9-23
Ah, yes, these are the days when we have so many things to pray for, and yet we cannot utter even a single word because we don’t know where to start. I believe we’re all having those days now.
The truth is, I really, really have a lot to say about what is going on around us, but a promise to God is a promise to God. I will keep this blog a safe place for everyone. Because this blog aims to edify the church and to pray for those who are suffering. And that would be all of us; we are all suffering now.
I know a lot of us are asking, “Why do we have to experience all of these?” No, we are not a cursed generation. But our proper posture for times such as these is this:
“What must come to pass will come to pass, if it is the will of the Father.”
Let His will be done; He is and will always be in control. PRAY. ❤
Chorus
Christ is my firm foundation The rock on which I stand When everything around me is shaken I’ve never been more glad That I put my faith in Jesus ‘Cause He’s never let me down He’s faithful through generations So why would He fail now?
He won’t, He won’t
Chorus 2
I’ve still got joy in chaos I’ve got peace that makes no sense So I won’t be going under I’m not held by my own strength ‘Cause I’ve built my life on Jesus He’s never let me down He’s faithful in every season So why would He fail now?
He won’t, He won’t He won’t fail, He won’t fail
Chorus
Christ is my firm foundation The rock on which I stand When everything around me is shaken I’ve never been more glad That I put my faith in Jesus ‘Cause He’s never let me down He’s faithful through generations So why would He fail now?
He won’t, He won’t He won’t fail, He won’t fail
Bridge
Rain came and wind blew But my house was built on You I’m safe with You I’m gonna make it through
Yeah, I’m gonna make it through ‘Cause I’m standing strong on You
Yeah, I’m gonna make it through ‘Cause my house is built on You
Chorus
Christ is my firm foundation The rock on which I stand When everything around me is shaken I’ve never been more glad That I put my faith in Jesus ‘Cause He’s never let me down He’s faithful through generations So why would He fail now?
He won’t, He won’t He won’t fail, He won’t fail
He won’t
The Destruction of the Temple and Signs of the End Times
5 Some of his disciples were remarking about how the temple was adorned with beautiful stones and with gifts dedicated to God. But Jesus said, 6 “As for what you see here, the time will come when not one stone will be left on another; every one of them will be thrown down.”
7 “Teacher,” they asked, “when will these things happen? And what will be the sign that they are about to take place?”
8 He replied: “Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he,’ and, ‘The time is near.’ Do not follow them. 9 When you hear of wars and uprisings, do not be frightened. These things must happen first, but the end will not come right away.”
10 Then he said to them: “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. 11 There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven.
12 “But before all this, they will seize you and persecute you. They will hand you over to synagogues and put you in prison, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name.
13 And so you will bear testimony to me. 14 But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. 15 For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.
16 You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. 17 Everyone will hate you because of me. 18 But not a hair of your head will perish. 19 Stand firm, and you will win life.
20 “When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. 21 Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those in the city get out, and let those in the country not enter the city.
22 For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written. 23 How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! There will be great distress in the land and wrath against this people. 24 They will fall by the sword and will be taken as prisoners to all the nations. Jerusalem will be trampled on by the Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.
25 “There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. 26 People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken.
27 At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28 When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”
29 He told them this parable: “Look at the fig tree and all the trees. 30 When they sprout leaves, you can see for yourselves and know that summer is near. 31 Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that the kingdom of God is near.
32 “Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. 33 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
34 “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. 35 For it will come on all those who live on the face of the whole earth. 36 Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”
37 Each day Jesus was teaching at the temple, and each evening he went out to spend the night on the hill called the Mount of Olives, 38 and all the people came early in the morning to hear him at the temple. – Luke 21:5-38
P.S. If you are currently preparing for you and your family to get through all the crises we are going through now, I pray the following links might give you a holistic approach to surviving. 🙏
Are there dynamics around you that you just find it difficult to explain? These are relational conflicts that seem to be dysfunctional, and yet you couldn’t really figure out what they are or what’s causing them. I thought I’d shed light on a very popular topic now on social media when it comes to mental health – narcissism. And I just recently found out about the term “scapegoat.”
The information below is all AI-generated since I am not an expert on this topic. This article will be an exception since I promised this blog would be AI-free, though I have nothing against AI. I just want to continue developing my creativity and originality in all of my work. That’s why I don’t rely on AI when writing.
I reviewed AI’s references, and they came from reliable sources. I hope the information below will help raise awareness about narcissism and scapegoats.
“Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” (Isaiah 49:23)
Narcissists choose a scapegoat primarily to protect their own fragile self-image, manage deep-seated shame, and maintain control over their environment. By projecting their negative traits, mistakes, and insecurities onto a designated “scapegoat,” they avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. [1, 2, 3, 4]
Here are the primary reasons why narcissists utilize a scapegoat, according to experts and survivors:
Projection: Narcissists cannot process shame or guilt, so they project these feelings onto someone else. The scapegoat becomes a “human dumping ground” for the narcissist’s self-loathing.
Preventing Collapse: The scapegoat protects the narcissist from “narcissistic collapse”—a total loss of their false, perfect self-image when faced with their actual faults. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
2. Maintaining Control and Superiority
Shifting Blame: When things go wrong, the narcissist blames the scapegoat to avoid being exposed as wrong or flawed.
Creating a “Bad” Object: By ensuring one person is seen as the “bad” one, the narcissist feels more powerful, moral, and superior.
The “Golden Child” Contrast: Narcissists often use a twin-system of a “golden child” (who represents their perfect, admired self) and a “scapegoat” (who represents all the negative traits they refuse to acknowledge). [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
3. Targeting Threatening Qualities
Contrary to popular belief, the scapegoat is often chosen because they possess qualities the narcissist subconsciously fears or envies. These targets are typically: [1, 2]
Empathetic and Emotional: Making them vulnerable to manipulation.
Independent and Assertive: People who are not easily controlled.
Truth-Tellers: The scapegoat often sees through the narcissist’s façade, making them a threat to the illusion.
Highly Competent: Intelligence or talent is perceived as a threat to the narcissist’s superiority. [1, 2]
Avoiding Self-Reflection: It is easier for a narcissist to blame another person than to do the difficult work of self-examination.
Needing Negative Supply: When they cannot get positive attention (admiration), they seek negative supply (the satisfaction of controlling and punishing someone). [1, 2]
If you are being scapegoated, it is rarely a reflection of your true character, but rather a reflection of the narcissist’s desperate need to control their own dysfunction, often beginning with their [family system]. [1, 2]
Delving Deeper On Narcissism And Scapegoats
In a narcissistic family system, the “scapegoat” is often the member who gets blamed for problems, criticized unfairly, or positioned as the cause of tension. That role isn’t about reality—it’s about maintaining the family’s emotional balance. So the question isn’t really what the scapegoat can “fix” in the family. It’s what they can do to protect themselves and regain agency.
Here are practical, grounded strategies:
1. Recognize the pattern (without internalizing it). In narcissistic dynamics, roles are rigid: the “golden child,” the “scapegoat,” the “enabler,” etc. The scapegoat often becomes the emotional outlet for unresolved conflict. Understanding that the role is systemic—not personal—helps reduce self-blame.
2. Set boundaries where possible. Boundaries can be emotional (“I won’t engage in insults”), behavioral (“I will leave if yelling starts”), or informational (limiting what you share). In unhealthy systems, boundaries may be resisted, so consistency matters more than persuasion.
3. Reduce emotional reactivity. Narcissistic dynamics often thrive on conflict. Techniques like the “gray rock” approach—responding calmly, briefly, and without emotional escalation—can reduce fuel for drama. This isn’t about suppressing yourself; it’s about protecting your energy.
4. Avoid trying to “prove” your worth to the system. Scapegoats often over-function—trying harder, achieving more, explaining more—to win fairness. But in a narcissistic system, fairness isn’t the goal; control is. Shifting from “How do I fix this?” to “How do I protect myself?” is crucial.
5. Build external support. Because the family system may distort reality, outside validation is important. Trusted friends, partners, mentors, support groups, or therapists can help ground your perception. Many scapegoats benefit from trauma-informed therapy, especially approaches that address family systems and complex emotional trauma.
6. Consider distance if needed. Sometimes limited contact or no contact becomes the healthiest option—especially if there is ongoing emotional, verbal, or physical abuse. Distance can reduce re-triggering and allow identity development outside the family role.
7. Work on identity outside the family narrative. Scapegoats are often told who they are for years. Rebuilding self-concept through hobbies, education, career, community, and values-based living helps counteract internalized messages.
8. Grieve the reality. One of the hardest parts is accepting that the family may not change. Grieving unmet needs (protection, fairness, acknowledgment) is not weakness—it’s psychological integration.
Strategies for Surviving Narcissism
Planning for independence from a narcissistic family isn’t just about moving out. It’s about building stability in three areas: money, support, and identity. The goal is to reduce reliance—emotionally and practically—so you can make decisions freely.
Here’s a structured way to approach it:
1. Stabilize Your Finances First
Independence is much easier when you’re not financially vulnerable.
Create a basic budget (income, essentials, savings).
Build an emergency fund—even a small one (start with 1–3 months of expenses if possible).
Open a bank account that only you control (if you don’t already have one).
Avoid shared financial commitments where possible.
If needed, look for side income, remote work, freelance work, or skill-based gigs.
If money is tight, independence may need to be gradual rather than immediate.
2. Secure Practical Logistics
Start thinking ahead about the basics:
Where you could realistically live (roommates, relatives, rentals).
Having control over documents is especially important. Keep them in a secure place accessible only to you.
3. Build Emotional and Social Support Outside the Family
Narcissistic systems often isolate scapegoats. Independence becomes harder without outside anchors.
Strengthen friendships that feel respectful and stable.
Consider therapy or support groups.
Build connections through work, school, volunteering, or hobbies.
Identify at least one person who understands your situation and can be a reality check.
You’re essentially replacing the family system with healthier support structures.
4. Develop Skills That Increase Self-Sufficiency
Independence is easier when you feel competent in daily life.
Cooking simple meals.
Managing a household budget.
Basic maintenance tasks.
Time management.
Conflict communication skills.
These reduce dependence and increase confidence.
5. Plan the Transition Strategically
If leaving immediately isn’t safe or feasible:
Avoid announcing plans too early if that would increase conflict.
Quietly prepare.
Set a timeline (even if flexible).
Gradually move belongings out if possible.
Have a backup plan in case tensions escalate.
Safety comes first—especially if there’s emotional manipulation, financial control, or threats involved.
6. Strengthen Psychological Boundaries
Even before physically leaving:
Stop explaining yourself excessively.
Reduce arguments that go nowhere.
Practice neutral responses.
Limit sharing personal goals with people who undermine you.
This reduces emotional entanglement.
7. Prepare for Guilt and Pushback
When scapegoats become independent, families often react strongly. That can include guilt-tripping, sudden “niceness,” blame, or attempts to pull you back into the role.
Expect it. Don’t interpret it as proof you’re wrong. It’s often a system reacting to change.
8. After Moving Out: Continue Building Autonomy
Independence isn’t only physical distance. Keep:
Financial boundaries.
Limited or structured contact if necessary.
Ongoing support outside the family.
Personal goals that define your life—not the family narrative.
If you feel you are being “scapegoated” by a narcissistic parent, a narcissistic sibling, or, as the articles have said, the entire system, I am praying this article helped you in one way or another with practical tips on how to survive and heal from any form of trauma you experienced from the abuse. Seek professional help once you recognize the need.
More importantly, have faith that God sees everything, and He will give you the right people, the right resources, as well as the right opportunity to get out of any unfavorable situation you are in right now. He will expose the truth in His perfect time, and you will be vindicated.
Here’s a video from Dr. David Jeremiah to give us a better understanding of the role of narcissism during the end times:
“Are we living in the last days? In this powerful Bible teaching, Dr. David Jeremiah breaks down 2 Timothy 3 and reveals why people are becoming more selfish, unloving, and morally broken.
This message explains: • The biblical signs of the end times • Why society feels like it’s getting worse • How sin affects every person and culture • The collapse of families and rise of narcissism • How Christians can live as light in a dark world.
You’ll also hear a powerful real-life redemption story that proves no one is beyond God’s grace. End Times Warning: 2 Timothy 3 Explained | Why People Are Getting Worse (Bible Prophecy)”
P.P.S. I am currently conducting research on individuals with passive-aggressive behavior because conflict resolution is very challenging with these people without them resorting to outbursts.
A Prayer Against Narcissism And Deliverance From Narcissistic Abuse
Dear Lord,
We humbly come before You in all our brokenness and our weaknesses. May this shadow of pain, fear, shame, and suffering be lifted from our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. We release any form of emotional bondage that has tied us to the darkness of our past and even the present. Help us, Lord, to cling to You as our only source of hope despite the struggle.
Change us, purify us, sanctify us, oh Lord, believing that You are the only one who can make changes that we have prayed for ourselves and for the systems that we have been praying over. You are a witness to how societies have changed because of what goes on in all family dynamics. May You break the curse of any generational trauma that has been handed on from one generation after another that prevents us from experiencing complete freedom in You.
May Your grace be sufficient enough for us each day as we continue to fight our battles silently and yet courageously. May Your ears not fall deaf to our pleas for help, Lord, even as we wait for You to move on our behalf, in the Mighty Name of Jesus, AMEN.
If you could be your favorite movie or book character, who would you be? Me? I would love to be “Daragang Magayon,” from Bicol’s local folklore, “The Legend of Mayon Volcano.” You may also read another version of the legend in this article.
Yet another version is Dr. Merlinda Bobis’ retelling of this legend, which I am very much looking forward to reading, and it portrays Daragang Magayon as a warrior princess. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an original copy online, and it’s also out of print. *sigh* I am praying I’ll find an original copy of this book. ❤
“Kantada ng Babaing Mandirigma Daragang Magayon” by Dr. Merlinda Bobis, an award-winning Bikol poet.
So, I am feeling playful with ChatGPT again because I am physically tired, and this is one of my ways to destress. 😀 I asked it to create a “Daragang Magayon” version of me by uploading a 2×2 ID photo of mine. lol
I only use ChatGPT when I want to experiment with images. But for the article content, it’s all me. And once again, it exceeded my expectations – the results were downright impressive, the details are incredibly stunning. If a genie in a bottle exists to make your ideas come to life, AI is really it.
Without any further ado, let me introduce you to Daragang Magayon version 2.0 (or 3.0?).
Ah yes, it’s a good thing AI did not change a single bit on my face. I was worried it wouldn’t capture my signature flat nose. lol The beehive hairstyle, though? I’m totally digging it.
ChatGPT got just the right image I had in mind. Mayadon talaga mag-imbento. lol
I also asked ChatGPT to recreate the image above and change it to an active combat stance with a gritty expression. I requested several edits because I preferred the active combat stance set with Mt. Mayon erupting in the background. But I wasn’t satisfied with the lighting on the 2nd image, so I requested another edit, and AI nailed it with the 3rd image.
1st Attempt2nd Attempt
Final Image
By the way, using these photos for commercial purposes without my permission might still fall under copyright infringement issues because my face is in these images. 😀 Though I am still currently reviewing OpenAI’s Terms of Service for this. I do highly encourage generating similar images by creating prompts that are as detailed as possible. You may want to conduct your research first on the elements that you want to see in your AI-generated images.
For example, when determining what your avatar or model would look like, try experimenting with specific facial features, i.e., aquiline nose, round eyes, prominent cheekbones, etc. You might want to avoid coming up with prompts that are too general. The more specific, the better. For unique images, take note of techniques that photographers or artists use in their artworks, i.e., lighting, rule of thirds, foreground, background, rendering, color blending, etc.
Meanwhile, this is Daragang Magayon in the parallel universe. I can hear this version shouting: “Tsk, tsk, tsk, men. Off with their heads!!!”
Chinitang Mandirigma 😀 Nag-“chinchansu” ada ini kay maputionan pandok kesa sa lawas. lol
By the way, I upload my photos on Google’s Reverse Image Search to find images on the internet similar to mine. This is how I make sure that all original images (including AI-generated) I post online aren’t stolen. 😀
To be really honest, I was laughing out loud when the photos were generated. I was just totally amused. I felt like if I were to rewrite Daragang Magayon‘s story, it’s going to be a romantic comedy instead of a romantic tragedy. lol
I did rewrite it, though, but I tweaked the ending so it wouldn’t end tragically. As for the rom-com version, it will just have to wait. The outline below is my own version of the legend of Daragang Magayon, which I entitled, “Daragang Magayon Version 2.0: A Love Story Forged In Fire.” 🙂
***UPDATED: This photo I generated from ChatGPT a few days after I wrote this article really got me thinking. Why is it that Daragang Magayon is barefoot and Panganoron has sandals? 😀
Here’s how the new narrative will run through:
Daragang Magayon not only survived one challenge.
She overcame different obstacles that turned her into a Warrior Princess.
She lived in different places, but came back to the place where she was born to lead the native’s revolt against foreigners who wished to conquer the land.
She is not just a damsel in distress; she fights alongside Panganoron, her Army’s General, and also her lover, to defend their people and the community from those who will take advantage of them and their resources.
Pagtuga, a rejected suitor of Daragang Magayon, secretly made a deal with the foreigners.
A battle took place between the natives and the foreigners.
Though the natives won, a lot of them died, including Pagtuga and Daragang Magayon‘s father.
These fallen natives were buried on the exact battleground, wherein a few days later, a volcano rises.
The people called it “Mayon” to honor Daragang Magayon’s bravery in leading her people to victory.
Panganoron proposes to Daragang Magayon with a beautiful ring that has a natural lava stone taken from the volcano’s first eruption – a symbol of the love forged through resilience and courage.
She lived through until old age with Panganoron, and were blessed with many children.
BECAUSE A HAPPY ENDING IS A MUST. Periodt.
Daragang Magayon, the protagonist, @ 40 years old. 😉 This version is already more modified than the others when it comes to facial features.
And the Bible verses that best fit this heroine’s character are the following:
A Wife of Noble Character
10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes.
22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
– Proverbs 31: 10-31
It’s been a year since I got so close to Mt. Mayon and was able to touch the soil in one of its slopes during my first Mayon ATV Adventure last May 5, 2025. You can read more about it here:
I came up with this write-up because it looked like Mt. Mayon reminded me of my first anniversary with it. Last May 2, 2026, there was a lava flow collapse more than usual in the gullies, particularly in the Mi-Isi Gully. Thousands of families were evacuated due to heavy ashfall and dangerous PDCs (pyroclastic density currents).
If I am not mistaken, the Green Forest Trail, where we had our last stop near the volcano last year, is located in Brgy. Mi-Isi. I think that trail is now gone with the new debris from the recent lahar flow in the area.
I wrote this article solely for fun and entertainment. But on a more heartfelt note, I am lifting all Albayanos who were affected by ashfall and might be affected by lahar, especially those living near the volcano, in my prayers. May God’s protection and provisions be upon them amid the ongoing activity of Mt. Mayon. Magpangadyi tabi kirita pirmi. 🙏
P.S. Which Daragang Magayon character version is your top choice? And if it is going to be published in a new book or as a movie, I already asked ChatGPT to create a movie poster or book cover of this new version. Check it out below. What do you think? 🙂
P.P.S. Methinks the music video below by dwta is the perfect soundtrack for my version of Daragang Magayon‘s legend.
PANGANORON (BIKOL VERSION)
[Verse 1] Mari na Ibahan mo ako sa sakuyang dudumanan Mari na Dai ta ka man wawaraon
[Pre-Chorus] Tumubod ka sakuya Sakuyang padaba Dai ka maghadit Ta dai na saimong mabaya
[Verse 2] Mari na Ano pa an nagpupugol sa imo? Mari na Sabay niyatong hahampangon An nakaabang na peligro
[Pre-Chorus] Tumubod ka sakuya Sakuyang padaba Dai ka maghadit Ta dai na saimong mabaya
[Chorus] Anion ako Dulagan ta an maribukon na kinaban Yaon ako Dawa abuton pa kita nin kadipisilan
[Post-Chorus] Promisa ko saimo Dai ko nanggad ika bubutasan
[Instrumental Break]
[Pre-Chorus] Tumubod ka sakuya Sakuyang padaba Dai ka maghadit Ta dai na saimong mabaya
[Bridge] Lalanguyon, ririrupon Lalakawon, dadalaganon Dawa ano, kayang gibuhon Kun pwede sana ngani ini lalayugon
Lalanguyon, ririrupon Lalakawon, dadalaganon Dawa ano, kayang gibuhon Kun pwede sana ngani ini lalayugon
Lalanguyon, ririrupon Lalakawon, dadalaganon Dawa ano, kayang gibuhon Dawa ano, kakayanon
[Chorus] Anion ako Dulagan ta an maribukon na kinaban Yaon ako Dawa abuton pa kita nin kadipisilan
[Post-Chorus] Promisa ko saimo Sakuyang padaba Dai ka maghadit Ta dai ta ka man nanggad bubutasan
[Outro] Yaon na Kitang duwa sa lugar Kun sain daing ribok
Huni na Su promisa ko saimo Papadabaon ka Hanggang sa hudyan
PANGANORON (FILIPINO VERSION)
[Verse] Tara na Samahan mo ako sa aking pupuntahan Tara na Hindi naman kita ililigaw
[Pre-Chorus] Magtiwala ka sa akin Aking mahal Wag kang mabahala Dahil wala na sa ‘yong mang-iiwan
[Verse] Tara na Ano pa ang pumipigil sa iyo? Tara na Sabay nating haharapin Ang nakaabang na peligro
[Pre-Chorus] Magtiwala ka sa akin Aking mahal Wag kang mabahala Dahil wala na sa ‘yong mang-iiwan
[Chorus] Andito ako Takasan natin ang maingay na mundo Nariyan ako Kahit abutin pa tayo ng suliranin
[Post-Chorus] Pangako ko sa iyo Hinding-hindi kita bibitawan
[Instrumental Break]
[Pre-Chorus] Magtiwala ka sa akin Aking mahal Wag kang mabahala Dahil wala na sa ‘yong mang-iiwan
[Bridge] Lalanguyin, sisisirin Lalakarin, tatakbuhin Kahit ano, kayang gawin Kung pwede nga lang ito’y liliparin
Lalanguyin, sisisirin Lalakarin, tatakbuhin Kahit ano, kayang gawin Kung pwede nga lang ito’y liliparin
Lalanguyin, sisisirin Lalakarin, tatakbuhin Kahit ano, kayang gawin Kahit ano, kakayanin
[Chorus] Andito ako Takasan natin ang maingay na mundo Nariyan ako Kahit abutin pa tayo ng suliranin
[Post-Chorus] Pangako ko sa iyo Aking mahal Wag kang mabahala Dahil hinding-hindi talaga kita bibitawan
[Outro] Nariyan na Tayong dalawa sa lugar Kung saan walang ingay
Narito na Ang pangako ko sa iyo Mamahalin ka Hanggang sa dulo
The Journeyman's Moments 