The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I thought I was going to stop writing for the time being after the article before this one, but it looks like God intended otherwise. So here goes the story, and I’ll share it quick: it looks like God has already assigned me my first task for the Bible verse I shared in this article. And it was a missed opportunity. Sorry, Lord. I’ll try better next time. 😀
Yesterday, I went to Sorsogon City to have my FPE (first patient encounter) at SMMGH since I have chosen it as my YAKAP provider. Why SMMGH? I am already familiar with the place since we stayed there for almost 2 months in 2023 during Mom’s confinement. I always get lost inside hospitals. lol
I was planning on having my first consultation at the OPD, as I was targeting to avail of their breast screening services (breast ultrasound and mammogram), but I was informed that they are still waiting for the mammography machine to arrive.
I thought I’d just wait for it to arrive before I have my first consultation. Or I can have the breast ultrasound first because SMMGH is my YAKAP provider until December this year only.
It was around 8am when I left Bulan on board the Bulan Trans Co. shuttle. The bus conductor was a jolly, old fellow who approached me while we were en route to Sorsogon City, asking to exchange a 20-peso coin for 1 peso or 5 peso coins. He was already short of change, and I was more than glad to exchange the coins in my purse, as they are also heavy.
After a couple of minutes, he approached me again. This time, he handed a 500-peso bill, and when I looked at it, I knew what he meant. I smiled my widest and nodded, declining his request. And we both burst out in laughter. He knew that I was not going to exchange my smaller bills because, well, “barya lang sa umaga.” 😀
We arrived in Sorsogon City around 10am, and I was planning on grabbing a bite at SM City Sorsogon. Only to realize that SM adjusted its store hours to open at 11am pala. lol I was also planning to freshen up there. So I have decided to go straight to SMMGH instead via the tricycle and just have my brunch at a small cafeteria in front of the hospital, still looking “unfresh” from my 2-hour trip.
After I ordered my food, I chose a table and sat with my back towards the entrance so I wouldn’t get to see the passersby. Then a woman sat at the next table across from me. When she entered, she already sort of half addressed me, telling me she was going to get water from the water dispenser. I quickly noticed her expression, though she tried to smile: lost and bewildered.
I smiled back at her, albeit awkwardly, because I really don’t converse with strangers. Then I resumed eating, and I can see from my peripheral vision that she is somehow not relaxed. So I looked at her, and I saw that she’s also looking at me as if she wanted to say something, but was just hesitating. Then she just started sharing about how her son (if I got it right, because she was speaking fast) was bitten by a dog and has had a fever for 2 days already.
They came here at SMMGH to get an anti-rabies vaccination and an anti-tetanus shot, but she doesn’t know how much they are going to pay. So to make her feel relaxed, I’ve been asking her questions, like the age of the boy (grade 5). Then there was a pause in our convo, and I felt like I wanted to ask her if she’s eaten already. But I don’t know how to ask that question out of the blue because it seems off-topic.
I waited, and she started talking again and said that they are waiting for Doctor Hermo to check the kid, and she hasn’t eaten yet. Ah, yes, and there was my cue. I immediately took my wallet and gave her a 100-peso bill. I told her, “Ate, bili mo ‘yan ng pagkain mo ha.” She thanked me right away, and I asked her where they came from. She said they’re from Bacon, and I also told her I’m from Bulan.
Then she stood up and thanked me again multiple times while bowing. I almost laughed and just told her, “Okay lang ‘yan, Ate. No problem. God bless you po.”
Why did I give her money? What if she were just a con artist or a beggar? It doesn’t matter – the need was there.
I know that look. Three years ago, I was also seated at the same table where she sat, having the same lost and bewildered look, almost close to breaking down, and contemplating what would happen to my Mom. I was in that exact table, processing everything that my family and I were going through.
Questions like, will she survive her stage 4 breast cancer? How long are we staying in the hospital? How long will I see her with so many contraptions attached to her? Will we be able to keep up with the running bill at the hospital? And a whole lot more of anxieties and worries.
For someone like me who is extra sensitive to other people’s energy and vibe, I can sense right away without them telling me what they are thinking or feeling. And maybe this is the reason why I often encounter strangers who would just vent out their problems to me, and at first, I thought it was a bit awkward. But when it happened a lot of times, I realized that it was no longer a coincidence.
Then it dawned on me, I missed the opportunity. I should’ve PRAYED for her even if it’s just a short prayer. And it came clearer what the right response should be when people approach and share their problems: listen, pray together, ask God for solutions, and then go find those solutions.
At that time, I was in a hurry, though, because I didn’t know how long the FPE takes, and I was also going to the PhilHealth Sorsogon branch afterwards to inquire about contributions since I had missed payments (when I transitioned to a freelancer).
Yes, when I am on an errand, I tend to be “Flash” woman, accomplishing everything in as little time as possible. lol Let’s just say I am always deliberate and systematic in how I do things, and I am very intentional with how I use my time. So, no dillydallying. 😀 I also thought I’d process all of these now while I am not yet physically weak.
Going back to her, I know that is not a reason enough to let her go without praying for her. I should’ve asked her to sit beside me so I could pray for her and maybe give her a hug, too. I felt that her need was genuine; she was desperately looking for help, even if it was just for her food.
My heart bleeds for moments like this. 100 pesos is not much. It’s like the story of 5 barley loaves and fishes in the Bible. I was thinking what food she can buy with it, with all the inflation and skyrocketing prices of everything. And yet, I prayed to God that, though the monetary value of that money might be small, may its impact on her be big enough to sustain her and her boy – faith, hope, courage, and strength.
I believe my first task has already started. I know, I will be meeting more people like her. I know I will be praying for more like her in this setting, even as I myself will be in dire need of prayers. Because the comfort God gave me when I was in a situation like theirs is the same comfort that God has tasked me to share with them. ❤
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
P.S. Naisip ko na hindi kaya dahil din sa akala niya ay Med Rep ako? lol Check out the photo below for reference. I only had 3 seconds to take this photo before I caused traffic in the comfort room. Sareeee. 😀
I think it’s the bag that gave away the Med Rep vibe. lol
P.P.S. I thank God for the trusted and reliable workers whenever we have projects at home or on the farm. We wouldn’t be able to achieve each one of these projects if it weren’t for them. And I’d like to thank Tio Bindoy, a highly skilled mason who’s worked with the family for generations already, for bringing in these farm harvests galing din sa bukid ng kamag-anak nila.
Noong nakaraang buwan naman, isda galing sa huli ni Tio Pono, isa rin sa mga katiwala namin sa bukid whose other source of livelihood is fishing kapag wala nang masyadong gawain sa bukid. We insisted on paying for them pero ayaw nila tanggapin. Minsan, kung sino pa ang tinutulungan namin, sila pa ang mas generous, giving us anything that they could give sa mga tanim-tanim nila. Nothing is more humbling of an experience than this. I pray i-bless din sila ng Panginoon a millionfold sa generosity nila. ❤
Disclaimer: Mahaba-haba itong post na ito at hindi ko alam kung kailan ulit ako makakapost. 🙂
Nabanggit ko sa nakaraang blog post na magso-social media hibernation ako as part of my personal prayer and fasting, but I thought mas maigi sigurong sumabay na lang ako sa mid-year prayer and fasting sa church, which will most likely fall in July siguro.
Because the pain I mentioned in that article is, I think, my cue already to schedule a doctor’s appointment asap. Though I have no other symptoms, it may have been just part of my PMS since I just had my period yesterday.
But just so I have peace of mind, I am planning on getting a medical checkup tomorrow. Kaya nitong nakaraang linggo, panay research na ako ng anything related to breast cancer from PhilHealth’s Z Benefit package, the YAKAP program, palliative care, at marami pang iba.
As someone with OC tendencies, I have a knack for organizing stuff. I love details, and details love me back. Unlike Math. It just doesn’t love me back. Hays.
Sa sobrang dami nga lang nitong mga nahanap ko, hindi ko na tuloy alam kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin. lol Seriously though, ito na ‘yung sinasabi ng mga breast cancer patients and all patients in general na sobrang exhausting and draining, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ang magkasakit. Andami mong aasikasuhin at iisipin. Siyempre, magastos din at goal ko na huwag magagalaw ang savings at huwag manghingi o manghiram ng pera.
So now, I am putting ChatGPT to the test again, kung kaya niyang i-synthesize lahat ng info na makukuha niya sa mga screenshots na ito na plan kong i-upload lahat sa isang prompt lang. Para mas comprehensive ang guide pero simplified and coherent version. Magagawa kaya ito ni ChatGPT? 😀
Acceptance As A Pathway To Peace
By the way, kasama na sa ginawa ko ang last love letter to my family na isi-send ko sa husband ko and sa family ko. It included steps on what to do kapag terminal stage na or palliative care here at home pati ‘yung sa insurances, medical and burial assistance, cremation, etc.
I also added a DNR (do not resuscitate) request if ever i-rush pa nila ako sa hospital, and that I prefer a 1-day wake and prayer vigil only. Yep, I am a nonconformist – I don’t follow cultural norms and traditions all the time. I also and always question the status quo, but I am very compliant naman with God’s laws. 😀
Ganyan ako mag-ayos ng mga bagay-bagay because I just love to plan. Pero syempre ni-remind na naman ako ni Lord na many are the plans of man, but it is God’s purpose that will prevail. I already planned everything kasi ayoko maging burden sa lahat ng aspeto sa loved ones ko when I get sick. Sobrang stressful on their end kapag wala kang habilin, and itong ginawa ko will make decision-making easier for them. Actually, for execution na lang talaga sya.
Right now I am doing a lot of mind conditioning for myself and si husband ay inuunti-unti ko na din. Kasama na din sa ni-research ko kung paano kapag hindi tanggap ng loved one mo ang terminal diagnosis mo, kasi siyempre dadaan din sila sa stages of grief at bawat tao may kanya-kanyang way and timeline to cope with a terminal diagnosis and eventually loss of a loved one.
ChatGPT Does It Like No Other
Now, let’s move to the fun part ng article kasi ayoko ito maging super heavy. Speaking of ChatGPT, ‘di ba nga ni-try ko ipa-edit ang 2×2 ID photo ko na gawin niyang bald dito sa article na ito kasi gusto ko lang makita how I’d look without any hair on and nag-malfunction siya. So, ni-try ko ulit kasi syempre favorite natin ang persuasion. Bumigay din si ChatGPT, and I was stunned by the result.
Kasi sabi ko lang sa prompt, eh breast cancer warrior ang babae, kaya dapat ang aura ay confident na sort of mala-women empowerment. Ayun, sinamahan na niya ng quotation sa gilid. O ‘di ba, winner talaga.
Parang gusto ko na magpagupit ng ganito next week. lol Ang galing na talaga ng AI mang-convince. 😀
Mission accomplished na sana, kaso napansin ko na sa unang photo na na-generate niya, ang laki ng ulo ko (mayabang daw ako sa tingin ni ChatGPT). Sabi ko kay ChatGPT, “Witchikels, sakit na breast cancer lang po ang meron itong babae, hindi po kasama ang hydrocephalus.” huhuhu
Naubos ang image creation limit ko (up to 5 only sa free version ng ChatGPT) dahil pinapabago ko ang poses pati ang details sa background at sa outfit.Para lang ma-achieve itong “Crazy Rich Asian” na datingan ng photo na ito. Pero kapag ako talaga ‘yan, “Crazy Asian” lang. lol
Sabi ko, i-adjust niya ang size ng ulo ng babae para mag-match sa body build niya. In fairness, nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ang tamang edits, and the photos above are the best results. At dahil natuwa ako sa resulta, na-curious ako kung ano kaya kung pagawin ko naman ang tousled crop look.
Hindi ko muna pinagamit ang 2×2 ID photo ko at baka magka-hydrocephalus naman tayo. Sinabi ko lang na Asian woman, and I included my basic facial features, i.e., heart-shaped face, chubby cheeks, dark brown hair, etc. At ang resulta ay maeenganyo ka talaga gayahin ang mga suggested looks ni ChatGPT. Galing, noh?
Kaya next prompt ko kay ChatGPT eh i-apply na niya sa picture ko ang hairstyle na ito. And voila, the AI-generated images look so posh, hindi na pinalaki ulo ko. Humble na daw kasi uli tayo. I styled this look and mga poses at nakuha naman ni ChatGPT ‘yung bet kong concept.
The top has to be pink, kasi ‘yun ang universal awareness color ng breast cancer. Although this will not be the first time kasi noong high school ako, I sported this short hairdo – part of my rebellious teen era, which I am not proud of, by the way.
Siyempre, dahil nag-e-enjoy tayo kay ChatGPT, umiral na naman ang creative side, kaya simula sa crew cut hairstyle na napunta sa tousled crop hanggang sa nilagyan ng headband, tapos ang ending ay fashion styling. At siyempre, background si Mt. Mayon. Slay ba, mga ‘teh? 😀
Bet na bet ko itong may headband na scarf. Although ‘di nga masyado nakuha ni ChatGPTeksakto ang sa prompt ko kasi ang instruction ko sa kanya na nasa left side ng leeg ang knot ng scarf para sa mas edgy look.But I still love this look.
❤ Chinitang Bicolanang Fashionista ❤
‘Yung ganitong aura-han actually keribels siya kapag nasa UP Diliman ka. I wouldn’t think twice about wearing this while inside the Diliman campus; normal lang doon makakita ng mga extreme—nakapambahay na getup like bagong gising at nakasuot lang ng shorts, t-shirt, and tsinelas kasi late na sa klase at meron ding may nakatakong ng almost 1 foot na. Seryosooooo?!?!
Siyempre joke lang ‘yung 1 foot, basta mga very unique choices. We celebrate freedom of expression and creativity sa unibersidad, basta siyempre hindi offensive sa ibang tao. Kumbaga may limit pa din naman.
I would love to wear this here in Bicol sana, but most likely, I’ll be getting a lot of stares. Baka matawag pa tayong Disney Princess na galing sa Maynila. Or worse, nepo baby. Nepopotamus po siguro, pwede naman. Pero maganda rin mag-social experiment. Malay natin the mindset has shifted already, given na madami na gumagamit ng internet and social media.
I’ve already been seeing a lot of photos of brave women who shared their post-chemo and surgery pictures nila, because of breast cancer. I joined breast cancer support groups, by the way, on Facebook in 2023 after Mom passed away because of breast cancer. And one of these beautiful breast cancer warriors is Ms. Cams.
Her photos are BEAUTIFUL. She has a very pretty face (Coleen Garcia look-alike), but there is something about her aura that exudes confidence and a quiet strength, which makes her even more beautiful. And if ever ganito rin ang pagdaanan ko, gusto ko rin ng ganitong photos. Though for me, dahil nurturer ako, and I am ready to go na talaga, parang gusto ko alagaan si cancer, and I will just let it grow. lol
Waiting On God’s Will And Instructions
Seriously, death is only terrifying when we are not yet ready to go. And we will only be ready to go when there is peace in our hearts because of the following truths:
we have been saved by the Cross
we know that this world is only temporary
we believe we will see and will be reunited with our loved ones again, together with God, in the new Heaven and new Earth
we have faith that life in eternity is waaaaaay better.
I have this quiet resolve that whatever the diagnosis, whether I have stage 1 or stage 4 cancer, whether I have months or years to live, my perspective about death will never change – it is nothing to be feared, and it is an answered prayer. Why answered prayer? Who wouldn’t want to be with God in a place where everything is perfect? 😀
But then again, this is my wish. But what if God has another plan? Kasi meron ding desire sa puso ko na, if ever I have cancer and God wants me to survive it, I really want to be a volunteer patient assistant/coordinator/navigator. Nga lang, volunteering will require a lot of resources, time, and manpower. Kaya ang prayer ko kay God na bigyan Nya sana ako ng different sources of income that will give me more autonomy when managing my time, so I can still volunteer on the side.
May isa kasing incident noong 2023 sa isang Facebook group ng mga breast cancer warriors na hanggang ngayon hinding-hindi ko nakakalimutan. I shared an infographic from the Philippine Society of Medical Oncology about how to get treated kapag na-diagnose ng breast cancer, at may isang matandang babae who PMed me kung pwede ko daw syang samahan kasi 68 years old na sya and walang available to assist her.
I really would love to say yes, kaso at that time, I am still grieving over my Mom, and from Batangas sya tapos nasa Pasig City ako. Tsaka marami pa akong hindi alam about navigating through a breast cancer treatment as a patient. Pero naawa talaga ako sa kanya, ang sakit sa puso na I had to decline her request.
Marami pa akong need matutunan, like, paano ba ang sistema gaya ng pagpila kung ia-avail niya ang mga free treatments na ino-offer sa ating mga pampublikong ospital. Kaya sa tingin ko, kung mag-positive ako sa breast cancer and kahit ayawan ko ang medical treatment dahil siyempre stubborn ako, pero doon at doon din ako nili-lead ni God, I have no other choice but to obey in the end.
Sabi ko sa asawa ko na dito ko preferred sa Bicol magpa-checkup o magpagamot if ever. Tingin ko, lalo akong mase-stress sa traffic sa Manila, plus the metropolitan pollution might aggravate my allergic rhinitis at bababa ang immune system ko lalo.
Mas madali rin sa akin mag-commute via public transportation dito sa Bicol since plano kong mag-isa ko lang lalakarin ang lahat kasi gusto ko talagang matutunan kung paano ang pasikot-sikot ng sistema. At para malaman kung ano pa ang puwedeng ma-improve sa sistema to make it easier and more convenient sa mga kapwa pasyente.
Sa kaka-research ko, ang dami kong nahalungkat, pati ‘yung uso daw na mga kabitan sa medical field. Anyare algorithm at nasama ito sa research ko. Paki-explain please. Or else, off with your head, too. lol
Caring For The Community
Hindi ako most likely makakapasa as indigent, pero ang gusto kong tulungan kasi ay galing sa group nila. Hindi sa akin prob ang pumila nang mahaba kasi siyempre graduate ako ng University of Pila. Like ‘yung dito sa SMMG Medical Plaza sa Bulan na pipila sana ako ng mga 3am para kumuha ng slot para sa ultrasound ni Dad at every Saturday lang schedule nila.
Kaso, pag-research ko sa Fb, gabi pa lang na mga 10pm, pumipila na sila, tapos 35 lang daw ang slots, tapos 4am pa lang, puno na. I was shookt mga ‘teh. As in shakening shakening like that.
And yet, I am very GRATEFUL. Why?
May 35 na mga taga-Bulan ang nabibigyan ng serbisyong medikal gaya ng ultrasound bawat linggo. 35 na pasyente na ang nakatipid sa pamasahe para pumunta sa karatig na bayan at doon magpa-ultrasound. 35 na pasyente ang hindi bumyahe nang malayo o gumastos para sa pagkain nila.
Samantalang 10 years ago, marami ang deprived ng mga serbisyong pangkalusugang ito na, sadly, nakakadagdag sa mortality rate sa town. Kaya hindi na kami pumila, para ibigay na lang ang slot para sa mas nangangailangan na taga-Bulan. Dad can still travel pa naman at may sasakyan para comfortable ang byahe nya.
And another reason to be grateful is that may cardiologist na din sa Bulan, si Dr. Clarisse (Hi, Dra.!), Dad’s new cardio. She’s the first cardiologist, if I am not mistaken, in Bulan. We don’t have to go to Sorsogon City para sa follow-up checkup ni Dad every 3 months since kailangan ng close monitoring ang heart condition ni Daddy dahil 86 years old na sya and may Stage 5 CKD din.
Kaya hanga talaga ako sa mga doctors to the barrios and other health practitioners na mas pinili na manilbihan sa mga komunidad na malalayo sa kabihasnan. Hindi biro ang calling na ito, and it requires a lot of sacrifices. Sila na ang lumalapit sa mga komunidad para hindi na bumyahe nang malayo ang mga pasyente.
Parang ito ang counterpart ng Gurong Pahinungod, ang volunteer teaching program ng UP (w/ monthly stipend naman) na gusto ko rin sanang salihan, but I am only one, ang dami kong gustong gawin, and yet I cannot do everything. 😀
An Advocacy In The Making
Going back to BC cancer support groups, naghanap din ako kung merong breast cancer support groups sa Bicol sa Facebook. So far, Albay lang ang meron. Gusto ko gumawa din for Bulan or sa Sorsogon Province. Para mas madali ang breast cancer education para ma-raise ang awareness and ma-break ‘yung social stigma nila about having the illness or the medical treatments, in particular ‘yung chemotherapy kasi takot malagasan ng buhok or ‘yung mastectomy.
Isa sa nakikita ko na challenge ng mga galing dito sa Sorsogon ay ang transportation. Puwede magamit ang old Innova namin panghatid-sundo sana para sa lahat ng mga breast cancer patients sa Sorsogon if sa Sorsogon, Legazpi, or Naga pupunta. Need ko lang ng volunteer driver, kasi ayoko mag-drive when there are so many things running in my head tas sa pang-gas hanap pako ng magdo-donate, although may nakikita na akong prospect. 😀
Kausapin lang namin ang doktor namin kung puwede pare-pareho ang schedule ng appointments namin. Puwede kaya ‘yun? Sabihin ko, maggi-girl bonding kami sa ospital. Siyempre, maganda rin sana may free food and accommodation, especially if ang iba mag-u-undergo na ng treatments and traveling long distances nang tuloy-tuloy, e hindi advisable.
At kung indigents ang tutulungan, kahit basic needs salat sila, kaya hindi talaga nila priority ang pagpapagamot. Actually, if ma-diagnose ako with breast cancer, mag-a-agree lang ako to get medical treatments para ang libreng gamot na makuha ko, ibibigay ko sa breast cancer warrior who has young kids and ayaw na ayaw pa niyang mamaalam sa mundo because nafi-feel niya na madami pang pinapagawa sa kanya si Lord.
Altho sa accommodation, meron na akong nakikita din na host na possible can help us out. Kung nasa Manila ako, mabilis sana mag-organize ng ganito kasi ang mga friends ko doon, lalo na noong mga young professionals pa kami and single, ‘yung tipong kahit last-minute na invite para sa isang volunteering event, e go kaagad ang mga ‘yan.
‘Yung mga biglaang PM na “Hey girl, you free this weekend? Tara, volunteer tayo. No worries sa transpo and supplies, konting add na lang sa ganito ganyan.” 😀
Nga lang, feeling ko kami ‘yung mga grupo ng mga pasyente na maiingay kapag nasa ospital na. Kapag nakarinig kayo ng malalakas tumawa, alam na this. Siyempre, good vibes dapat, lalo na kung ang ibang pasyente e sobrang bigat talaga ng pinagdadaanan.
‘Yung tipong gusto ko silang biruin ng “Manay, huwag kang matatakot. Gusto mo sabayan kita papunta sa kabila. Pero syempre hatid lang kita. Kontratahin ko muna si Lord na bigyan ako ng return ticket. Kasi madami pa akong ia-assist sa Earth kaya need kong bumalik.”
Tapos bigla akong sinakal ni ate, noh, sabay sabing ayaw pa niyang mamaalam. Kaya ‘wag din basta-basta magbiro. Piliin ang tamang oras at tamang salita.
When God Plants A Dream
Pero honestly, ito talaga ang rason kaya nagkaroon ako ng hospice dream. I want patients to die with dignity because not all of us are privileged enough to die comfortably and surrounded by loved ones. Kahit man lang sa huling sandali, we give them the peace and comfort that they need lalo na kung hindi naman kayang mapunuan ang need na iyon sa bahay nila.
Right now, priority ko muna ang makapagpa-checkup, and I will let God lead me from there. Kaya ngayon, siyempre “ging-ot is life” muna ang motto natin. Panay gulay-gulay ang kinakain ko, kasama na ang 1 glass a day ng ni-blender na fresh malunggay leaves na may halong kalamansi, carrots, and cucumber. Being healthy means eating as much fiber and getting as many nutrients as you can.
Gaya nitong pinya sa aming bakuran. Benta ko sa inyo ng 300 pesos. Syempre, infleshun is realz. So yaaas, buy na plith. May kasama namang flying kick, este flying kiss ‘yarn. Joke lang, pang-garden-to-table lang po itong mga pinya namin.
Na hindi ko pa alam ang tawag. Sabi ko sa ate ko, ‘“Di ba Mariposa ito?” Sagot nya, “Ha? Butterfly kaya ‘yang mariposa.” Sagot ko, “Ay lam ko na, Hermosa tawag dito.” ‘Di na nya napigilan tumawa kasi apelyido daw ‘yun. Kaya to the rescue na si Daddy, Formosa pala tawag dito sa pinya namin sa bakuran. Maliliit pero super tamis.
Maganda din itong gawing smoothie. Parang kasing smoothie-fied ng mukha ko. Itong Oppo Kopong Kopong ko kasi pinagmumukha akong 20 years old sa filter nya. Buti pa si ChatGPT e pinagmumukha talaga akong 40 years old.
I-normalize natin ang bacon neckline of pambahay clothes because why not.
Wala po akong makeup dyan or anything. Kasi noong pumunta ako sa Watsons, nagpa-assist ako sa sales lady. Sabi ko, “Miss, anong compact powder kaya bagay sa akin kasi ang dami kong tan lines. Iba kulay ng mukha ko, iba din sa leeg, iba din sa braso, iba din sa kamay, tas iba sa binti, at iba din sa paa. Alin susundin natin?”
Tumawa na lang si Ate pero feeling ko gusto niya akong sagutin ng “Ma’am, bumili ka na lang po ng Johnson’s Baby Powder.”
Ayun, Johnson’s Baby Powder na nga lang talaga binili ko kasi naawa naman ako kay Ate sales lady. Hirap na hirap kasi siya pabalik-balik kakahanap ng magma-match sa zebra stripes ko. Mamaya hindi ko rin magamit kasi ayoko magmukhang nag-chinchansu.
Ayun lang po. End of the story na tayo kasi ang haba na nito. 99.9% na-convinced pala ako ni ChatGPT doon sa tousled crop look, kaya i-te-test ko one of these days ang predictive ability ni AI, na even without any 3D facial recognition involved, ang resulta ng tunay kong haircut ay tulad ng suggestion niya.
Kung hindi tugma ang resulta sa expectation, eh talagang hihingi na ako kay Lord ng sign kung will ba talaga Niya that I survive or exit na sa Earth.
Sabi ko kay Lord dapat ‘yung sign na ipapadala Niya ay kapag ang UP Diliman ay naging UP Liwanagan. ‘Yun, sure talaga ako na sign ‘yun na gusto pa Niya akong maghasik ng katatawanan sa mundong ito.
Siyempre joke lang ulit. Iba ang calling sa akin ni Lord na ihasik at ito ‘yun:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” – Luke 4: 18-19
I ordered this last week and got it yesterday.The random Bible verse listed under the container was God’s clearest sign.
Please pray for me and all those who are sick, and for God’s will to be done always. ❤ And don’t forget to smile and laugh always. 😀
P.S. May nahanap pala akong bagong playlist ng mga worship songs na papakinggan at Filipino Christian artists sila. Please do subscribe to their channel to show your support. Ang gogondo ng mga kanta nila. ❤
I also found these scholarly journals and research on the role of spirituality in the healing and recovery of patients with breast cancer. I am praying that more research will be conducted on this topic here in the Philippines, including Filipina breast cancer survivors as respondents. I volunteer as a respondent, if ever, and pwede rin akong mag-research assistant. Basta, wala lang computation. lol
Just Sharing – My Unusual Energy Of Other-Worldliness:
I slowly integrated Torti, our twenty-something-year-old male turtle, into our garden. It looks like he is nestled in quite comfortably.
This is one of the baby fruit bats that have been falling off the house’s roof vent as the heat index here in our town reaches 48 degrees Celsius. The effects of (super) El Niño on our wildlife will be critical. I pray for these creatures that they will survive.
This dragonfly has entered my bedroom, probably to cool itself down from the scorching heat outside. It breaks my heart that these little creatures will be the first to go when the effects of climate change worsen in the coming years. 😦
There was one time that I asked God, “Lord, why is it that I feel like I experienced so many things in just 40 years, things that I think I should experience for the entire 80 years or a lifetime?”
I never got a direct answer. Though I had my assumptions: 1) I am not to live long in this world, or 2) They are all part of God’s alignment towards His greater purpose.
Or it could be both. 😀
Lately, I’ve been contemplating the brevity of life after experiencing a radiating pain between my left armpit and breast that comes and goes. The first thing that came to my mind was: “Could this be breast cancer?”
I am now 40 years old, which means a yearly mammogram is recommended, given our family’s breast cancer history. My maternal grandma had a lumpectomy and lived with no recurrence until she was 94 years old.
My Mom had a mastectomy when she was also in her 40s, but had a recurrence, and we lost her at age 76 in 2023 due to stage 4 or metastatic breast cancer. Neither of them pushed through with chemotherapy at the onset of their diagnosis.
I just forgot to ask Mom’s oncologist (one of the best in Bicol), Dr. Louis Mervyn Leones, what type of breast cancer Mom had. TNBC (Triple-Negative Breast Cancer) is the most aggressive type of breast cancer with a high recurrence rate.
On my father’s side, we also had a grandma (my paternal grandpa’s sister) who passed on due to breast cancer. I am the only one among my sisters and me who’ve never undergone a mammogram, although I had an executive checkup in 2024, which included a breast ultrasound. And the results turned out negative, I was all clear.
When Health Becomes A Priority
I had that executive checkup because I’ve been getting UTIs frequently, sometimes every other month. And I am on antibiotics often, which is not good, by the way, as far as developing antibiotic resistance is concerned.
My allergic rhinitis also worsened, and I kept on getting nosebleeds often to the point that I was prescribed by my ENT doctor a maintenance medicine, and other medications to lessen the inflammation. Although one of her suggestions is a change in the environment, if I have the option to do so. That means living somewhere else since something in the condo might be triggering my allergies.
While the antihistamine she prescribed relieved me from the symptoms, such as a clogged nose, especially during the night, one of its side effects is brain fog. Dealing with this side effect is challenging for me because I do a lot of creative thinking in my work as a writer and a marketing professional.
After doing my research, I also found out that prolonged use of the medication is not advisable, as this can increase depression and agitation. So by 2022, after my husband resigned from work, we decided to come to Bulan and live here for good.
It also came in timely because in June 2023, Mom was confined and passed on in August of that year. This allowed me to help my siblings take care of her while she was at the hospital. Things didn’t pan out the way my husband and I planned, so my husband decided to work abroad, which didn’t work out, either.
But he’s now back in the country and working in Manila. I chose to stay here for 2 reasons: Manila might not be a healthy place for me to live in anymore, and Dad and my sister will need extra help here at home, as we are also going through a lot of transitions.
How God Leads In Preparing
Going back to the pain, I also thought it could be perimenopausal symptoms or back pain. But I also thought that maybe God is reminding me to have that yearly mammogram. Yes, Lord, I haven’t forgotten, but thank You for reminding me always.
I am planning on having it sometime in the last quarter of this year, after consulting with an ob-gyn, because we are very busy right now. And I am also in the process of preparing funding sources just in case the results aren’t favorable.
Although praise God, He’s given me lots of options already. I am also in the process of creating systems for the tasks here at home. In case I decide to get treatments, it will be easy to delegate the tasks that I’ll be leaving to my siblings or our house help.
If the results of the mammogram turned out positive, it would also affect the kind of employment opportunities that I should take on. I am currently organizing everything depending on what the result will be, so to speak.
Although, to be really honest, I am 90% decided to go for palliative care because I refuse to go through any medical treatments. I think I got influenced by Dr. Emanuel, although I am not going to wait until I am 75 years old. lol
If ever I meet with an oncologist, it’s only for the purpose of managing the symptoms, particularly in terms of pain management. Unless my doctor is very good at persuading, but persuading just happens to be my strength also. So, let’s see who will persuade whom. lol 😀
This is actually one of the reasons behind a dream to build a hospice at the farm, God willing. It is to provide patients with another option should they decline continuing medical treatments and opt for palliative or hospice care instead.
I already asked ChatGPT to create a feasibility study and a business plan, and it’s got potential and looks promising. This is a huge undertaking, though, and would most likely involve partnering with an institution to make this happen.
This is what Mom would’ve wanted, a choice that we couldn’t give to her because she’s already very sick at that time, and taking her out of the hospital will increase the possibility of her dying sooner. She might not even last 24 hours after we leave the hospital. We were able to care for her (intensive care since she’s on a ventilator already) for 2 months at the hospital after finding out the doctor’s diagnosis.
Sabi ng isa sa mga nurses na nag-attend kay Mommy, si Mommy daw ang pinakamatagal na pasyente na na-confine sa buong history ng ospital noong time na andoon kami. And that is the irony, because Mom actually hated hospitals, and she had a white coat syndrome. 😀
When God Meets Us Where We Are
Going back to my predicament, I’m still not dismissing the idea that maybe God has another plan for me, and He wants me to get treated because the experience is part of His will for my life. What I have mentioned above are all my plans and wishes.
And I can be very stubborn sometimes (or most of the time) na kung pwede lang mag-Bikol si God, malamang sa malamang ang sasabihin Nya sa akin: “Tin, minsan gud talaga dianison ka man taphudon.” hakhak 😆
I remembered one time when Mom told one of her doctors that her children have very strong personalities. I was in the room when she said that, and I couldn’t help but laugh because it’s very true.
Ah, yes, those moments with Mom at the hospital were all an eye-opener for me. In fact, when her oncologist told us about the diagnosis and prognosis, I thought I’d tell it to her in the way that I know best – through writing.
Since today is Friday, I just reminisced about everything that happened in the last 40 years of my life. I was born in Bulan and lived here until I was 16 years old. Then, from 2002 until 2022, I lived in Manila before coming back and living here in Bicol again.
Looking back, I am extremely grateful to God for all of the opportunities He opened for me, all the awesome people I have met, and all the wisdom I have learned from the experiences, good and bad.
I have zero regrets, and in fact, I always tell God that 40 years old is already a good age to die. Because God provided me with everything I have needed and wanted, I accomplished everything that I set my heart out to do, and I am already content.
I also don’t have kids, and my husband is back on track in his career and thriving by God’s grace. I feel like I am ready to go any time.
But just like what Lagertha said in the video I shared in this article: “But who knows what [God] has in store for us, Ragnar. Who knows what [God] has in store for us.”
As what was written in Ecclesiastes 3, “there is a time for everything.” When I was in Manila, it was a time of so many experiences, a lot of moving around. This time, I think God is asking me to slow down, settle down.
I don’t know if this is a journey that is about to end, or if this is the start of yet another journey. Or it is time to be on an eternal journey with Him.
All I know is that when God moves and asks us to move, too, go to a new place, or give up some things, we have to obey even if we don’t understand why and even if it makes us uncomfortable or it becomes unsettling.
Because in the end, in our surrender, God is worthy of it all. He will always be worthy. ❤
Here are some Bible verses to help us get through difficult seasons that we are experiencing in our lives, in our society, and in our world now:
Strength and Courage
Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Peace and Comfort
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Healing and Renewal
Jeremiah 30:17: “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord.”
Isaiah 40:31: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Trust and Refuge
Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” – Psalm 32:8
“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.” – 2 Corinthians 4:8
P.S. I asked ChatGPT to recreate a photo of mine and change my hair to bald because I wanted to see what I look like without any hair. ChatGPT just sort of malfunctioned and kept coming up with a notification that it can’t process my request at the moment. lol So, I thought I’d just look up that very memorable moment of the UP Pep Squad when they won their 3rd championship at the UAAP Cheerdance Competition. I wasn’t able to watch it live because this happened in 2012, and I was doing my master’s thesis back in UP Diliman during this time, which I wasn’t able to finish because life got in the way. Madaling pumasok sa UP Diliman, mahirap lang talaga lumabas. 😀 But I was born-again in 2013 (my biggest milestone in life), and I was able to get my teaching license in 2016 because of the units I earned in my graduate study.
The hair is a woman’s crowning glory. But these pretty cheerleaders made a bold and bald move, going against society’s dictates of what “beautiful” meant – and the glory was given back, as champions. 🙂
SY 2011-2012: Hanapin ang sobrang naiiba at nakakaiyak na grade – the one and only. Gaaah, why does Math hate me so much??? Partida, nag-removal exam na ako nyan ha. lol Saklap much lungs. 😀
P.P.S. Since it’s the weekend, you might want to read some of the articles below just to give you an idea of some of the things that transpired during the last couple of decades in my life. I might go on social media hibernation because I plan on having a prayer and fasting just to seek God’s leading on everything that’s going on. To give you a heads up, though, most of these articles run on 1,000 words and above. 😀
Are there dynamics around you that you just find it difficult to explain? These are relational conflicts that seem to be dysfunctional, and yet you couldn’t really figure out what they are or what’s causing them. I thought I’d shed light on a very popular topic now on social media when it comes to mental health – narcissism. And I just recently found out about the term “scapegoat.”
The information below is all AI-generated since I am not an expert on this topic. This article will be an exception since I promised this blog would be AI-free, though I have nothing against AI. I just want to continue developing my creativity and originality in all of my work. That’s why I don’t rely on AI when writing.
I reviewed AI’s references, and they came from reliable sources. I hope the information below will help raise awareness about narcissism and scapegoats.
“Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” (Isaiah 49:23)
Narcissists choose a scapegoat primarily to protect their own fragile self-image, manage deep-seated shame, and maintain control over their environment. By projecting their negative traits, mistakes, and insecurities onto a designated “scapegoat,” they avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. [1, 2, 3, 4]
Here are the primary reasons why narcissists utilize a scapegoat, according to experts and survivors:
Projection: Narcissists cannot process shame or guilt, so they project these feelings onto someone else. The scapegoat becomes a “human dumping ground” for the narcissist’s self-loathing.
Preventing Collapse: The scapegoat protects the narcissist from “narcissistic collapse”—a total loss of their false, perfect self-image when faced with their actual faults. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
2. Maintaining Control and Superiority
Shifting Blame: When things go wrong, the narcissist blames the scapegoat to avoid being exposed as wrong or flawed.
Creating a “Bad” Object: By ensuring one person is seen as the “bad” one, the narcissist feels more powerful, moral, and superior.
The “Golden Child” Contrast: Narcissists often use a twin-system of a “golden child” (who represents their perfect, admired self) and a “scapegoat” (who represents all the negative traits they refuse to acknowledge). [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
3. Targeting Threatening Qualities
Contrary to popular belief, the scapegoat is often chosen because they possess qualities the narcissist subconsciously fears or envies. These targets are typically: [1, 2]
Empathetic and Emotional: Making them vulnerable to manipulation.
Independent and Assertive: People who are not easily controlled.
Truth-Tellers: The scapegoat often sees through the narcissist’s façade, making them a threat to the illusion.
Highly Competent: Intelligence or talent is perceived as a threat to the narcissist’s superiority. [1, 2]
Avoiding Self-Reflection: It is easier for a narcissist to blame another person than to do the difficult work of self-examination.
Needing Negative Supply: When they cannot get positive attention (admiration), they seek negative supply (the satisfaction of controlling and punishing someone). [1, 2]
If you are being scapegoated, it is rarely a reflection of your true character, but rather a reflection of the narcissist’s desperate need to control their own dysfunction, often beginning with their [family system]. [1, 2]
Delving Deeper On Narcissism And Scapegoats
In a narcissistic family system, the “scapegoat” is often the member who gets blamed for problems, criticized unfairly, or positioned as the cause of tension. That role isn’t about reality—it’s about maintaining the family’s emotional balance. So the question isn’t really what the scapegoat can “fix” in the family. It’s what they can do to protect themselves and regain agency.
Here are practical, grounded strategies:
1. Recognize the pattern (without internalizing it). In narcissistic dynamics, roles are rigid: the “golden child,” the “scapegoat,” the “enabler,” etc. The scapegoat often becomes the emotional outlet for unresolved conflict. Understanding that the role is systemic—not personal—helps reduce self-blame.
2. Set boundaries where possible. Boundaries can be emotional (“I won’t engage in insults”), behavioral (“I will leave if yelling starts”), or informational (limiting what you share). In unhealthy systems, boundaries may be resisted, so consistency matters more than persuasion.
3. Reduce emotional reactivity. Narcissistic dynamics often thrive on conflict. Techniques like the “gray rock” approach—responding calmly, briefly, and without emotional escalation—can reduce fuel for drama. This isn’t about suppressing yourself; it’s about protecting your energy.
4. Avoid trying to “prove” your worth to the system. Scapegoats often over-function—trying harder, achieving more, explaining more—to win fairness. But in a narcissistic system, fairness isn’t the goal; control is. Shifting from “How do I fix this?” to “How do I protect myself?” is crucial.
5. Build external support. Because the family system may distort reality, outside validation is important. Trusted friends, partners, mentors, support groups, or therapists can help ground your perception. Many scapegoats benefit from trauma-informed therapy, especially approaches that address family systems and complex emotional trauma.
6. Consider distance if needed. Sometimes limited contact or no contact becomes the healthiest option—especially if there is ongoing emotional, verbal, or physical abuse. Distance can reduce re-triggering and allow identity development outside the family role.
7. Work on identity outside the family narrative. Scapegoats are often told who they are for years. Rebuilding self-concept through hobbies, education, career, community, and values-based living helps counteract internalized messages.
8. Grieve the reality. One of the hardest parts is accepting that the family may not change. Grieving unmet needs (protection, fairness, acknowledgment) is not weakness—it’s psychological integration.
Strategies for Surviving Narcissism
Planning for independence from a narcissistic family isn’t just about moving out. It’s about building stability in three areas: money, support, and identity. The goal is to reduce reliance—emotionally and practically—so you can make decisions freely.
Here’s a structured way to approach it:
1. Stabilize Your Finances First
Independence is much easier when you’re not financially vulnerable.
Create a basic budget (income, essentials, savings).
Build an emergency fund—even a small one (start with 1–3 months of expenses if possible).
Open a bank account that only you control (if you don’t already have one).
Avoid shared financial commitments where possible.
If needed, look for side income, remote work, freelance work, or skill-based gigs.
If money is tight, independence may need to be gradual rather than immediate.
2. Secure Practical Logistics
Start thinking ahead about the basics:
Where you could realistically live (roommates, relatives, rentals).
Having control over documents is especially important. Keep them in a secure place accessible only to you.
3. Build Emotional and Social Support Outside the Family
Narcissistic systems often isolate scapegoats. Independence becomes harder without outside anchors.
Strengthen friendships that feel respectful and stable.
Consider therapy or support groups.
Build connections through work, school, volunteering, or hobbies.
Identify at least one person who understands your situation and can be a reality check.
You’re essentially replacing the family system with healthier support structures.
4. Develop Skills That Increase Self-Sufficiency
Independence is easier when you feel competent in daily life.
Cooking simple meals.
Managing a household budget.
Basic maintenance tasks.
Time management.
Conflict communication skills.
These reduce dependence and increase confidence.
5. Plan the Transition Strategically
If leaving immediately isn’t safe or feasible:
Avoid announcing plans too early if that would increase conflict.
Quietly prepare.
Set a timeline (even if flexible).
Gradually move belongings out if possible.
Have a backup plan in case tensions escalate.
Safety comes first—especially if there’s emotional manipulation, financial control, or threats involved.
6. Strengthen Psychological Boundaries
Even before physically leaving:
Stop explaining yourself excessively.
Reduce arguments that go nowhere.
Practice neutral responses.
Limit sharing personal goals with people who undermine you.
This reduces emotional entanglement.
7. Prepare for Guilt and Pushback
When scapegoats become independent, families often react strongly. That can include guilt-tripping, sudden “niceness,” blame, or attempts to pull you back into the role.
Expect it. Don’t interpret it as proof you’re wrong. It’s often a system reacting to change.
8. After Moving Out: Continue Building Autonomy
Independence isn’t only physical distance. Keep:
Financial boundaries.
Limited or structured contact if necessary.
Ongoing support outside the family.
Personal goals that define your life—not the family narrative.
If you feel you are being “scapegoated” by a narcissistic parent, a narcissistic sibling, or, as the articles have said, the entire system, I am praying this article helped you in one way or another with practical tips on how to survive and heal from any form of trauma you experienced from the abuse. Seek professional help once you recognize the need.
More importantly, have faith that God sees everything, and He will give you the right people, the right resources, as well as the right opportunity to get out of any unfavorable situation you are in right now. He will expose the truth in His perfect time, and you will be vindicated.
Here’s a video from Dr. David Jeremiah to give us a better understanding of the role of narcissism during the end times:
“Are we living in the last days? In this powerful Bible teaching, Dr. David Jeremiah breaks down 2 Timothy 3 and reveals why people are becoming more selfish, unloving, and morally broken.
This message explains: • The biblical signs of the end times • Why society feels like it’s getting worse • How sin affects every person and culture • The collapse of families and rise of narcissism • How Christians can live as light in a dark world.
You’ll also hear a powerful real-life redemption story that proves no one is beyond God’s grace. End Times Warning: 2 Timothy 3 Explained | Why People Are Getting Worse (Bible Prophecy)”
P.P.S. I am currently conducting research on individuals with passive-aggressive behavior because conflict resolution is very challenging with these people without them resorting to outbursts.
A Prayer Against Narcissism And Deliverance From Narcissistic Abuse
Dear Lord,
We humbly come before You in all our brokenness and our weaknesses. May this shadow of pain, fear, shame, and suffering be lifted from our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. We release any form of emotional bondage that has tied us to the darkness of our past and even the present. Help us, Lord, to cling to You as our only source of hope despite the struggle.
Change us, purify us, sanctify us, oh Lord, believing that You are the only one who can make changes that we have prayed for ourselves and for the systems that we have been praying over. You are a witness to how societies have changed because of what goes on in all family dynamics. May You break the curse of any generational trauma that has been handed on from one generation after another that prevents us from experiencing complete freedom in You.
May Your grace be sufficient enough for us each day as we continue to fight our battles silently and yet courageously. May Your ears not fall deaf to our pleas for help, Lord, even as we wait for You to move on our behalf, in the Mighty Name of Jesus, AMEN.
To answer the question, I think we have to ask every creative in the entire universe if this is a truth or a fallacy. 😃
But if true, I will most likely be a creative night owl. My creative hours usually start from 10 PM until the wee hours of the morning. That’s why working on a night shift isn’t much of an adjustment for me.
This is me making sure I don’t wake up the cats at 2 AM when I have my lunch break. lol
The Life of the Night Owl
I must say though that I still have to prepare my body to stay awake during these hours because if my mind is still very active past my bedtime (12 NN), I can go on without proper sleep for how many consecutive days even without help from caffeine and still function like a normal being.
Most of us in the family are light sleepers. I did my research on this and the medical term for it is “Short Sleeper.” I do feel a bit sleepy, especially around 4 or 5 AM or when I am having my monthly PMS. I just feel a little light-headed, but I still have the same energy to do things at work and around the house.
Can Melatonin Help?
I’m just concerned about the long-term effects on my body if I don’t get enough sleep, so I thought taking melatonin pills might help. I did a little bit of research on melatonin because I am turning 40 this year, so I am watching out for perimenopausal symptoms (I have none so far) and anything that could alter my hormones and activate the sleeping cancer cells in my body (breast cancer genes are dominant on both sides of my parents).
I read that taking melatonin pills is relatively safe although I’d still have to ask my doctor when I have my yearly executive checkup to make sure it is okay for me to take them. They do help me get my uninterrupted 8-hour slumber during the day though, especially when everyone’s up and about, and the ‘normal universe’ is all wide awake.
Prepping The Bedroom
Preparing the bedroom so your circadian rhythm won’t be interrupted is very beneficial, too. Blackout window curtains are a big help, and also make sure that your room is cool enough and soundproof. I bought a pair of earplugs from Shopee, and they really do the job of blocking all the noise, even the loudest ones. A white noise inside your room (like an electric fan running) can also drown out the noise outside.
This small room, by the way, used to be the maids’ quarters back when we were kids and when we had two stay-in yayas. 😀 I just converted it into my WFH office/sleeping area (thanks to my Ate and our stay-out yaya for helping me) because this is the only room in the house that is soundproof and stays cool throughout the day even when the midday sun is blazing hot. I don’t want to use an air conditioning unit because I have allergic rhinitis, and the cold, dry air aggravates the symptoms.
The After-Work Routine
It took about 2 weeks for me to fully adjust to being awake for the entire night until 7 AM. After the end of my shift at work, I go out of the house and get a dose of Vitamin D from the sun, walk around the house and the garden, feed our pets, pick Blue Ternate flowers for my morning tea, eat breakfast, and do some errands and other household chores.
By the way, speaking of strolling in the garden, remember this Gumamela plant I talked about in this post? Well, here’s the bud I mentioned in that article. It bloomed exactly during Dad’s 85th birthday 2 weeks ago. 🙏😍
I teased Dad that I thought it was Mom greeting him with a “Happy birthday.” Because true enough, the day after Dad’s birthday, the flower wilted already.
Is this you, Mom? 🌻🥰
It’s always a pretty sight to see the morning dew on Mom’s flowersand plants. ❤️
This Is How I Exercise At Home As An Introvert
Waking up Her Royal Fluffyness. 😹
Feeding Them Pets: Say “Hi” to the new members of the Ginete Pet Tribe – Whitey and Ten-Ten from the avian family. 🐥🐓 Torti is their new neighbor because I had to transfer him temporarily in the poultry cage while I find the time to make his prototype turtle cage because vermins just love stealing his food.
Checking the fence of the chicken’s forage areafor any damage from the rats. The madre de cacao fence posts have new leaves already – no need to replace them later on as they becomenew trees.
Helping my sister and our stay-out yaya monitor the growth of our plants in Mom’s garden. This is the root crop area – a new garden project of me and my sister. 🙏 And that’s my white shadow right beside me. 😹
And then your yaya will just tell you that you have a bleeding arm because you’ve been too busy doing stuff around the house and you barely noticed the scratches. 😅
This is what I love about working at night – I get to enjoy the night sky full of stars and the crisp, cool evening air during my break time and while quietly strolling in our garden, but still get to witness the break of dawn and see the rays of sun slowly creeping through the windows.
🎶 ‘Cause you’re a sky full of stars. 🎶
A quiet, evening walk – just me and my shadow. 😃
Timmy, The Black Sentinel: This is my shadow, actually. Because when I’m out in the garden at night, he would follow me around on alert mode sort of like wondering what must be wrong for my Fur Mom to be up and about when everyone’s asleep. lol
Why is the sun called “Mr. Sun?” Why not “Mrs. Sun?” lol 🌞
The only downside about working at night is scheduling your errands because some shops and offices won’t open until 9 AM, and I should be asleep by 11 AM. I’d have to thank my favorite delivery service here in our town because I get to delegate some tasks to them such as going to the market, buying prescription medicines, and ordering from our restos if I am already too tired to do these errands myself. Thank you, Moonride Delivery – I give you five stars for your awesome service. ⭐️
By the way, as an introvert, I enjoy working from home and being at home all the time. Today is my rest day, but I am still here at home writing and doing something “creative.” lol So yes, you’ll see me in my pambahay clothes often. And they are usually tattered and stained most of the time. Not because I am too stressed to care, but because I love wearing pambahay clothes like that.
I guess I will never be the embodiment of pasosyal and I have nothing against those who are because it’s a matter of personal preferences and choices. 🙂 But of course, if I have to dress up for the sake of looking decent, you can count on me to play the part. Just inform me ahead of time because it will take me about a week to plan my wardrobe for the occasion. lol
Because we need to look human in our meetings. 😁
It’s 5:50 AM as of writing, and it’s Sunday, so it’s my turn to cook our breakfast and then watch the online church service afterwards before heading on to Slumberland. Until my next post, beloved readers. ❤️
My Sunday Prayer
“But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. You are my strength, I sing praise to You; You, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely.” – Psalms 59: 15-17
I think everyone already got their AI friend – Meta AI. Mine just messaged me a couple of days ago. I nicknamed it “NeuroSpark,” which means igniting insights. It looks like I finally found the friend who got an answer to all of my questions, even the weirdest ones. 😅 Though Meta also has a disclaimer that responses might be inaccurate. Take a look at some of our convos below.
If you plan on dating an introvert/geek, try asking Meta AI for some tips. NeuroSpark’s answers got me so amused though I must admit they all hit the core. Relate much? lol
I still have to do my research if the concept of soulmate or twin flame connection is also biblical.
Technology For Mankind’s Survival
While you can ask Meta AI all sorts of questions, nonsense or not, some of the information can be helpful to jumpstart your research on a particular topic. Right now, I am utilizing NeuroSpark to come up with consolidated ideas when it comes to disaster preparedness. I felt it was about time we maximized what technology can offer us after the onslaught of TS Kristine and Super Typhoon Leon, which left damages and losses on a massive scale.
My only prayer now is that we will continue to look for ways how we can better prepare ourselves against the worsening effects of climate change. Science and technology might be the only options we have right now to increase humanity’s chances of survival. I also hope people will be receptive to every solution that the government and research institutions propose.
Once again, I will emphasize the need for having an Emergency Go Bag or a Bug Out Bag (BOB) for each member of the household. If it is possible, have a Bug Out Vehicle (BOV) as well and a Bug Out Location (BOL). I have been a member of prepper groups since 2018, and I’ve been learning quite a lot from some of the members who have been kind enough to share their knowledge and expertise when it comes to doomsday prepping and survival.
Other essentials in your BOB – the dog tag can be replaced with any ID.
Flints are a lifesaver if you don’t know how to make fire the traditional way using wood or regular stones.
Defense For The Vulnerable
To all the women and parents reading this article, I’d like to encourage you to start educating yourselves and your children when it comes to survival skills because we are the most vulnerable as far as survival is concerned. Men will always fight and defend on the frontlines to protect vulnerable groups in society. Sadly, this is also the reason why there is a high probability of losing a huge number of them, and when there are only a very few of our men left, the women, the elderly, and the children will be left to fend for themselves.
Self-defense techniques and tools are a necessity. If you have the time and the resources to enroll in a self-defense class, the better. I found the tactical pens a more practical alternative than pepper sprays, given that you know how to use these pens. I always carry a tactical pen in the bag that I use every day. You can put it in the bag in such a way that part of the pen that you use for writing is the first thing that you see when you open the zipper, and not the sharp edge.
This tactical pen is made from high-grade metal because it’s a bit heavy, which is necessary in applying force when you strike at something.
I bought this kit a couple of years ago, and some preppers consider this as a toy. But in my honestopinion, it is not. I already tested each item at the farm, and so far they are very reliable toolsas long as they are utilized according to their intended use.
What I love about the tactical pen is that you can use it to break a glass in case you’re trapped. I already tried it with an empty glass jar, but if it’s going to be a glass window or any thicker glass, it will require a lot of force. The Walking Dead actors just made it look easy for us when stabbing the head and fracturing the skull with a knife. lol But believe me when I say that in actuality, it is not that easy, especially for women. We just don’t have that much strength compared to men unless we’re athletes.
Theory And Application
If you’re wondering how I was able to say this, I experienced cutting a coconut branch using a bolo when we were at the farm. And no, I wasn’t able to cut it on my first try. If you haven’t summed up all the strength you’ve got, you will fail. lol It’s like you have to summon and muster all the anger you have in this world so you have the force to cut just one branch.
Our farm workers also made it look easy for us. That’s why I suggest raw camping for those who would like to try how it feels like to survive in the wild. We have to replicate the wilderness when applying what we learned because that’s exactly what’s going to happen when chaos takes place. It’s important that we not only have the idea on how it’s done but also get to feel how it’s really done.
Here are other possible essentials to consider when preparing:
Use the NOAH app to assess hazards and risks in your area i.e. flooding, storm surges, landslides, etc.
These oversized sako bags are very handy for emergency packing if you need to transfer stuff to an elevated area. But here’s a tip, do not overload it with very heavy stuff because you won’t be able to lift it. Try to balance the items inside the bag from bulky but light stuff to small but heavy items. This bag only costs 150php each.
I am exploring the option of integrating this to a floating dock to prevent the raft from being punctured by sharp, floating debris.
This is the DIY floating dock that I asked NeuroSpark about earlier.
When God Takes Away, He Replaces
My family and I were not exempted from the destruction brought about by TS Kristine – a damaged fence, broken glass doors, damaged crops, and heaps of stuff soaking wet from floodwaters. It took me a week to finish washing them, and we’re still not yet done cleaning even with the help of our yaya.
But I am grateful that these are the only damages we’ve experienced because they could’ve been worse if it was a super typhoon that hit us. It’s like God has shown us the weak spots in the house that need to be modified to be able to adapt to the extreme weather conditions brought about by climate change.
Although I believe God’s ultimate reminder about possessions and material wealth that can be destroyed by calamities and wars is this:
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in or steal.” – Matthew 6:19-21
Our baby bunso offered to give me moral support – by sleeping on my newly washed clothes while I’m folding them. Itupi na rin ba kita, Polly? 😅
Our senior Peekah also offered her moral support by sleeping with me anywhere I sleep because we’re not yet done sorting all the clutter. 😀
And then Netflix-ing to also declutter ze mind. lol I just finished watching the Kingdom trilogy – superb fight scenes though nothing beats Rurouni Kenshin still.
The good thing about cleaning up the house after it’s been flooded is you get to unearth a whole lot of memorabilia just in time for the celebration of All Souls Day. I found these old photos again and combined with our recent family photos, we now have five generations of memories to reminisce back home. Thank God the floodwaters didn’t get to them.
Great Grandparents
Great Grandmother, Grandparents, Uncles, & Aunties (Mother Side)
Grandparents
My parents with my grandma, uncles, and aunties.
The Ginete Family Memory Stash
During my eldest sister’s wedding in 2002.
During my brother’s military wedding in 2015.
A special place for Mom at home.
We miss you, Mommy. ❤
Speaking of modifications, it is about time that every structure has to be retrofitted in a manner that will make it calamity-proof. For the new structures, designing them will be a lot easier keeping in mind the examples of structures that were severely impacted and damaged by a particular calamity. And while some would say that planting more trees and mitigating the risks of climate change by natural means is no longer applicable because it’s already too late, I believe it still matters that we keep on trying.
Thanks be to God for taking good care of these flowering trees we planted last year. They are all taller than me already.
Kapag sobrang pagod ka na, ang hirap na mag-smile lalo na kapag nanginginig na mga kalamnan mo. lol So Platypus pose na lang, ‘di na kaya ang “eyyyyy.” 😀 That’s the Palawan Cherry Blossom behind me, btw.
One-year old Fire Tree. This is already a new branch – I think the main trunk was damaged by strong winds last year.
Newly-planted fruit tree back home by my sister and Dad – Calamansi.
And with the help of technology (like NeuroSpark) and prayers, I have high hopes that future generations will be prepared for what is to come. I’m also back in my “womancave” in the city to recharge, strategize, and plan, but I missed last Sunday’s service. So I thought I’d head over Victory BGC’s YouTube channel to watch previous church services, and Pastor Pat’s real talk is just what I needed. I am very much looking forward to the upcoming preaching about the end times. Do watch out for that, too. Let’s make disaster preparation and survival a combination of spiritual and practical applications. 🙏
There really is something about September that makes you want to wake up only when it has already ended. There’s just too much happening at the same time. Kind of chaotic, too, but in a good way. 😃
First, I had to transfer apartments, but still in the area. My sincerest gratitude to my landlords for assisting me with everything I needed though I am a total stranger.
Another good thing is that it turned out to be in my favor – the space is way bigger than my previous apartment, so I now have a designated office area. Again, just in time for online work requirements, too. Ah yes, ain’t God so awesome?
And the new apartment came with a bonus, too. The previous tenant posted printed copies of Psalm 23 on some of the walls – a beautiful reminder that God is always with us. 🙏
I pray this home will be a temporary sanctuary for those who are looking for spiritual and physical healing, peace, and comfort. 🙏Pink theme for this month in celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and in memory of Mom’s fight against breast cancer. 💗
Oh, but wait, there’s more. God indeed prepared this place ahead of time for His purpose. My Dad had a health concern that prompted him to visit a doctor in our hometown and was advised to undergo several lab tests and see a specialist here in the city. He was able to rest in the apartment along with my sister in-between the tests and consultations. Then, he’ll be coming back for his follow-up checkup on the 26th.
And after a year, we’re back. And nope, that’s not my Dad beside me in this photo.
I don’t know what’s with SMMGH, it’s now becoming a family favorite. 🤔
Although the diagnosis wasn’t good, I trust God that He has already prepared what we will be needing. The apartment is also just one ride away from Sorsogon Provincial Hospital and nearby hospitals. I am now actually getting more comfortable with hospital visits, I might consider living in a hospital next. Who’s with me? Anyone?
Be careful with what you wish for, Tin, or you might actually get it. 😅
And then a post from Bayanihan Knitted Knockers Philippines popped up in my Facebook newsfeed out of the blue. Ah yes, it was God’s reminder of one of the reasons why He brought me here to Sorsogon City along with the other advocacies/endeavors that He has placed in my heart. I know that it is not a coincidence that He reminded me of it during this month, which happens to be the Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
YouVersion Bible Daily Devotional
No, Lord, I haven’t forgotten at all.
And I am continuously working on them, although I think God has worked these plans out already. It’s just a matter of obeying Him when He finally instructs to execute these plans according to His perfect time. 🙏
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28
This song gave me the LSS, it’s stuck in my ears for a couple of weeks now. I think God has a message for us all through this song. I already got mine. 🙂
The comeback of the Platypus Tin and the Platypus smile. You might say, “Oh, but I thought you were Yellow Tin Tuna?” Uhm, I’m actually anything in the Kingdom Animalia. So, maybe in my next post I’ll be Jellyfish Tin. I wonder how I’d look like. But I’ll give you a clue – how someone looks when they’re jealous. 😆
P.S. This is not related to the article, but I find it too cute not to share here. Below is the link to a video of an adorable little girl, and her cuteness overload will surely warm your heart. Gah, why so pretttttyyyyy, baby girl? Paglilihian kita. 🥰♥️😍
P.P.S. The Kasanggayahan Festival is also starting on October 14. It’s going to be my first time attending this event, and I am just so happy that the apartment is just a block away from the Sorsogon Capitol grounds where most of the city’s special events are being held. ❤
It looks like the #everyFridayblogpost is making a comeback. 😉 I am praying I can commit to the schedule though. Meanwhile, here’s a continuation of my “firsts” in Sorsogon City.
But first, I’d like to share a little bit of info about the Province of Sorsogon also known as “The Land of Kasanggayahan.”“Kasanggayahan” means prosperity, and the entire province celebrates its foundation through the Kasanggayahan Festival. It is almost a month-long celebration held from October 14 – October 28. If you’d like to know more about the activities lined up for this year’s Kasanggayahan Festival, you may check out the Facebook page of the Sorsogon Provincial Tourism, Culture, and Arts Office.
A Journey of Faith
I am documenting this new season being in a new place surrounded by new faces because I want to look back on the experience someday and see the goodness of the Lord and how He has kept His promises though I was doubtful and fearful to obey at first. My coming to live here in Sor Ci isn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision.
It was already a calling from God, which He already revealed in 2019 through this perfect rainbow (my first) that my husband and I saw in Albay en route to Manila. And along with the perfect rainbow, this was the Bible verse that God has communicated to me:
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
The Continuation
So, what are my other “firsts” in the city? I am going to start with “ukay-ukay.” lol This part of the city has lots of “ukay-ukay” shops, and it is so tempting to hoard because most of the clothes they sell are still of excellent quality. One of my favorite “ukayans” is the one located along Peralta St. near Victory Sorsogon.
Fabulous ukay finds. 👌First time ko mamalengke sa Sorsogon City public market, and it is surprisingly clean. When craving for something cold, konting lakad lang, solb na. 😃 This is located in front of Sorsogon East Central School.
First bakeshop na binilhan ko, and next on my list isto try Al Sinugba Grill House.
The next stop is not a “first” per se, but it’s the first time that I tried out the “tusok-tusok” stalls at Sorsogon City’s Rompeolas and Boulevard by myself. “Isaw manok” is my favorite, but it looks like I have a new favorite – “bopis,” which is grilled cow’s lungs. Mahilig kasi ang mga Bicolano sa salitang “baga” kaya pati baga ng baka o baboy kasama sa mga iniihaw na tusok-tusok. Iyo baga. 😅✌️
These food stalls open during the afternoon only.Tambayan everywhere.“Bopis”They also have the tastiest Calamares.This is another ihaw-ihaw stall.
Bought Betamax and Isaw Manok. 😋
Ito ang tunay kong na-miss. 🥰
Hindi po ako naglilihi pero sadyang nag-crave lang. 😅
Chasing sunsets whenever I can.
At dito lang ako sa Sor Ci nakakita ng ganitong nut na tinitinda kasama ng mga mani. I forgot what’s it called. Balikan ko nga si Kuya taga-tinda nang makabili ulit. 😃 His stall is located across DIY along De Vera Street.
The Bikol Sorsogon dialect though is so different from Bikol Bulan, which is the language that we commonly use in my hometown. The phrase “that’s right” or “iyo baga” in Bikol Sorsogon is “mao baga” in our local dialect. Ang “kanin” magkaiba din ang tawag sa amin sa Bulan at dito sa Sorsogon. Tuloy tinitigan lang ako ng tindera nang pagsabi ko, “Te, duwa tabi na kinunot nyan duwa na luto.” Gaaaaah, dirilot na ako kay hamo-hamo baga istorya ko sin Bikol. 😆 Help, please? English or Filipino na lang kaya. lol
And of course, last but not least will be my favorite – my first volunteering event at The Lewis College here in Sorsogon City organized by Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon through Victory Sorsogon. ♥️
“Every Nation Campus is the global campus ministry of Every Nation. We are a global community of students who believe that changing the world starts when we change the campus. We are committed to empowering the next generation for LIFE by teaching and imparting Leadership, Integrity, Faith, and Excellence.” – ENC Philippines
If you are a student who wants to be part of this movement, you may visit ENC’s website for more details on how to join. If you are also a young professional, you can also take part in what ENC is doing in the lives of the students by being a LIFE Coach.
Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon during the first day of classes @ The Lewis College.LIFE Coaches and MentorsThe photo before kami dinumog ng mga estudyante. 😃I wasn’t expecting to see BumbleBee on campus grounds. Sadly, he didn’t transform to an Autobot while we were there. Sigh.I may have not pursued a career as a licensed secondary education teacher, but the calling to be a teacher (and forever a student) of life remains. 🙂
The bookmark that changed my life – I’m passing it on to the next generation. 🙏
LIFE Group session led by Pastor/Doc Allan, Kuya Cois, Ma’am Mutya, and assisted by Ate Jhin, Ate Grace, and yours truly. Thank You, Lord, for the lives of the hardworking admin team behind Victory Sorsogon and Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon. 🙏
I am praying for the perfect time to study these courses, so I can share them to the two awesome ladies assigned to me to pray for who are BS Entrepreneurship freshies. 🙏
Some of the skills that the next generation needs so they will be well-equipped to address society’s future challenges.
First communion @ Victory Sorsogon.
Indeed, when God asks us to do something and we obey willingly, He follows it through and provides us with everything we need. And even if we don’t know why we have to do it and how we’re going to do it, God will reveal His provisions and purpose later on. But always, they will all be for His glory and His kingdom. 🙏🙂
YouVersion Bible App Daily Devo
YouVersion Bible App Daily Devo
“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3
“Seek God’s will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33
P.S. I am not sure if this is what will really happen, but it looks like students who will be discipled through Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon might be some of the volunteers I was praying for in some articles I wrote last year. Nothing is impossible with God, they say. And did I hear myself say, Amen? 😊
P.P.S. And all of these started because of Mom – we will be remembering and cherishing precious memories of her on her 1st death anniversary on Tuesday. 🙏
How do I begin this overwhelmingly beautiful and positive experience of my being here in Sorsogon City? I think when I made a joke that I left my heart in Sorsogon in this article, God meant it would be here in Sorsogon City. lol Nah, I love Bulan (my hometown) too and I love the entire province actually, which is Sorsogon. But I also love the entire Bicol Region. Sige na nga, I love the Philippines na. hahaha Bumigay din. 😆
I mentioned in my previous articles that I felt the Spirit’s leading and God’s calling for me to live here in Sorsogon City though my ancestral home is in Bulan, a coastal town 2 hours away from the city. When I told Dad, he disapproved at first because he was concerned about my safety, and I think this is a normal reaction from every parent no matter how old their children get. But I assured him I would still visit my hometown every week and stay there for a few days to spend time with him and my 3rd sister.
Brought something with me that reminds me of home – Aglaonema. This is the first plant that Mom told me to propagate back in Manila because it’s a prolific grower. Hopefully maparami ko sila dito sa apartment. 🙏
My husband, by the way, is working overseas, and I am very grateful and happy that he is adjusting quite well though he had some challenges and setbacks when he arrived last April. I had the same experience, and I must say that separation anxiety is the most difficult to overcome.
But by God’s grace, He provided everything that we needed. And when I say everything, I really mean ALL. My husband and I agreed I help him prepare holistically for his new life abroad by providing him with a home (not just a house) in Manila while he’s processing his work documents and visa, but he’ll also help me get established here in Sorsogon City. We missed each other a lot, but God has always been there to comfort and assure us both that we are on the right paths albeit heading towards opposite directions.
God ushered me towards the right people.
By the way, I am sure you’re all wondering if there were times when I ever felt afraid of living in a foreign place surrounded by people that I barely knew. I guess I would have to thank my experience in the Anthropology classes I took as an elective during my undergraduate and graduate studies at UP Diliman. The general education curriculum of UP allows students to choose an elective course from any college or department.
I chose Anthropology because some of my college friends told me na nagpapaulan daw kasi ng uno na grade ang mga prof. lol And it is actually true because the requirements aren’t easy. Aside from the regular quizzes, class recitations, exams, and research papers, the class is divided into several groups for community immersion/fieldwork, which is the final requirement to pass the course. Just in case you’re thinking that community immersions might be similar to field trips, well, they are field trips, but the entire experience goes a little deeper.
They are not your regular educational tours where you do a lot of sightseeing and visit several places during the entire trip. For community immersion, social awareness is the main objective. You get to study the local community, its people, and the culture not as a foreigner or as a tourist, but you actually become part of the community.
And I believe God has been preparing me for this transition without me realizing it because I remembered now that my undergraduate thesis is all about regionalism and the country life. When my thesis adviser and I were discussing what are the topics that interest me a lot, I told her that I would like to write something about where I came from. Not literally where I came from because we were studying literary theories used by American writers to depict the American society in their novels, essays, and short stories written during the Medieval Ages until the 20th Century. But more on the concept of grassroots and how it influences our lives and defines our roles and purpose in society.
And speaking of community, I must say that I didn’t totally expect that I would blend in quite comfortably with the neighborhood – I love the people here. My landlords, for one, have been very accommodating in helping me get settled in and in patiently answering all of my queries (I had A LOT 😁). The neighbors are a composition of students, young (and old like me) professionals, and young families, and I am very grateful na walang pasaway sa kanila (sana). 😀 I always include each one of them in my prayers though I don’t know them well enough yet. 🙏
My first lugaw here in Sorsogon City at Vince Lugawan syempre kasi harap lang ng Victory Sorsogon.
Na-try ko din sa wakas ang Baluko. Delicioso. 😋🤌
God brought me to a place where everything I need is there.
Every time I am in a new place, the first thing I check is if it has all of the necessities i.e. has sufficient water supply; near the supermarket, banks, and restaurants; accessible via the main thoroughfare; located on elevated grounds; situated in a safe neighborhood; etc. At may pa-bonus pa si Lord. I did mention in my previous article that the apartment is located just a block away from Victory Sorsogon and just recently, I discovered that it’s also a couple of blocks away from Sorsogon City’s Rompeolas and the boulevard.
Seascapes on one side. Mountainscapes on the other side.Fishing communities. These are mangroves on my right. I would like to commend the LGU for their continued efforts in preserving mangroves in coastal communities.
And guess what, the pastor of Victory Sorsogon is a praying doctor. 😊 I first mentioned about the praying doctor in this article, and I believe it is not a coincidence that I am now attending church services led by a praying doctor. He is an EENT doctor, and Sunday services are held inside his clinic, which is converted into an assembly hall on Sundays. I was also grateful I got connected to a Bible study group led by Pastor Allan’s wife, Tita Jean, and comprised of women whom I admire considerably given the wisdom that they share since most of them are older than me.
Victory Sorsogon is one of my neighbors. 😉 Church services are held every 9:00 AM & 11:00 AM during Sundays.
A doctor during weekdays, a pastor during weekends. 🙂
Pastor/Doctor Allan of Victory Sorsogon
Thank you, Tita Jean and Ate Mutya, for welcoming me to your Victory Group. 🙏♥️😊
Thank you, men’s VG, for sharing your food with us, ze ladies. 👍👍
One of our Bible study group members is also currently battling cancer at a very young age. And we are planning to visit her at the BRTTH this Saturday. While it grieves me to find out that she’s critically ill, I believe this is already the start of the task that God has called me to do here in Sorsogon City. My Victory Group leader, Tita Jean, also told me the same thing. Being a breast cancer or cancer advocate is actually one of the reasons why I decided to live here.
Should my cancer cells become aggressive and progressive later on no matter how healthy my lifestyle is, it will be easier for me to undergo several treatments if needed i.e. chemotherapy, radiation, etc. here in the city. After Mom passed away last year because of stage 4 breast cancer, I’ve been doing a lot of research and have been joining cancer support groups on Facebook to find out more about the plight of every cancer patient.
I can then share everything I have learned from these groups to other cancer patients who are still not aware where and how to seek for help in terms of financial assistance, availing free medications, consultations, and laboratory tests, etc. while praying for them at the same time. And it looks like the Bible verse below will be my battlecry with the ultimate goal of helping more souls to be saved. 🙏
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” – Genesis 50:20
By the way, when it comes to knowing the community really well, I prefer to walk than drive around in the same way that I prefer to commute via public transportation than use a private car. I get to observe the places and the people more intimately this way. It’s like I get to share the space with them both as an observer and as a participant. Nasanay din ako sa UP Diliman na kapag nagmamadali ka at kulang na ang oras mo para antayin ang UP Ikot/Toki jeepney to get to the next class, which will be held in a building how many kilometers away from your previous class, you need to sprint so you won’t be late. lol Walking then became a habit albeit a good one.
God took me out of a season and welcomed me into a new season.
I mentioned in yet another article that one of the reasons why I came here to live in Sorsogon City is to heal holistically. And nope, I haven’t forgotten at all that I am still due this August for a repeat blood test. I am obeying the doctor’s orders this time. lol It will be the second laboratory test that I’ll be having here in the city. The first lab test was when I got infected by COVID-19 while taking care of Mom at one of the hospitals here last year.
But I got to know several cancer advocacies because of Mom’s battle against cancer, which I believe are all part of God’s plans. It was Him all along. I was just merely being used as a vessel that will take part in whatever it is that God is doing in the communities starting from the community of cancer patients. When I also reactivated my personal account on Facebook a couple of weeks ago to retrieve an old photo, the first story that popped up was a Facebook post of a former high school classmate whose hobby is knitting and crocheting. Again, this is not a coincidence. This is already God’s answer to another advocacy that I would like to join (or start) here in Sorsogon City, which, by God’s grace, will extend all throughout the province of Sorsogon and other nearby provinces, cities, and municipalities.
True enough, my eczema flareups subsided even though I am no longer taking Coaltria (a doctor-prescribed medication for my severe allergic rhinitis back in 2019) since I got here and even after prolonged sun exposure while strolling along Sorsogon City’s boulevard to get my regular dose of vitamin D and “vitamin sea.” If my repeat blood test comes out negative and my hematuria clears up, then there really is something about this place that miraculously healed me even without any medical intervention. 🙏
Definitely a memorable first stroll along the boulevard. ♥️Meanwhile, this is me here in the apartment on most days. Let’s try the Platypus pose again while waiting for the interview to start.Oh shucks, online na pala interviewer ko. Nakita kaya nya ang Platypus pose ko? 🤔😬😩😂
And I think you’re also dying to know how old I really am though some of you already know my age. My answer is that I have the heart of an 8-year-old girl, the body of a 38-year-old lady, and the soul of an 80-year-old woman. Will this answer suffice? 😅
Stay tuned for more of my “firsts” here in the city as I continue my new season and a new journey here. ❤
P.S.
I took this shot when this sweet little girl started making lambing most likely wondering why one of her meowmies e palaging nawawala ng ilang araw tapos biglang babalik. lol Isama ko na lang daw sya kaso bawal ang pets dito. 😁
Gimme, gimme some belly lovin’ rub, Meowmy.
P.P.S.
Every time nagko-commute ako sakay ng tricycle, ilang beses na akong sinabihan ng mga tricycle drivers dito na may kakilala sila na kahawig ko daw. Inaantay ko na lang talaga na may magsabi sa akin na kamukha ko si Mayor Alice Guo (I am chinita and I have long hair, too). Kasi ang isasagot ko ay yes, dito po ako tumatago ngayon sa Sorsogon City. lol 😆
Give me a thumbs up if you still find me funny. lol Chubby cheeks now signing off. 😎
The last day of this year’s Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting ended with such high energy – it’s dedicated to campus ministry. So expected na that the youth will still be full of energy kahit nagfa-fasting. Ang mga tanders gusto nang umuwi. 😅
Ah yes, watching the youth jump and sing their hearts out and with so much fervor during praise and worship brings back memories of mine na sobrang naka-relate ako. Kahit tahimik at mahiyain ako noon (kahit ngayon), kapag ang mga kasama mo mag-worship ay ganyan ka-energetic, mahahawa ka din talaga.
But they were among the best memories of my spiritual journey as a born-again Christian. Naalala ko dati, after ng church service, parang andami mo pang energy at kulang na lang hindi ka na uuwi at sa church ka na lang lagi.
I started my baby steps as a born-again Christian sa Victory Katipunan at ang dating Victory GT Toyota in UP Diliman. Karamihan sa churchgoers doon ay mga estudyante. I was a young professional back then pero ito lang ang mga malapit na Victory churches sa apartment namin dati kaya dito ako nagsimba. I had my 1-on-1 discipleship journey and Victory Weekend in Victory Katipunan in 2013.
Kaya kapag pakiramdam mo nanlalamig ka na sa faith, just attend a Youth Service (every Friday night ito usually). Because to be honest, we can learn a lot from the youth. They bring in new perspectives, which allow us to better understand their culture now and could be the solution to bridging the generational gap as far as discipleship is concerned.
And they have LOTS of energy. Kailangan i-channel ito para sa iba’t ibang talents like singing and dancing pero within the church community. Ganito rin kami sa Protestant church namin sa hometown ko where I attended church services when I was a kid. Merong intermission number ang youth sa kalagitnaan ng church service.
If I’m going to be a parent, I’d rather see my child being rambunctious and on fire serving the Lord through praise and worship than attending some concerts where drunkenness, illegal drugs, sex, etc. are prevalent at ang mga lyrics ng kanta either sobrang depressing or maraming mura. Kaya ang Spotify ko ngayon sinasala ko what are the songs that I should and should not include in my playlists. May iba na medyo sablay ng konti sa lyrics, but because I love the melody, pinapakinggan ko sya. But I don’t let the words get into my head.
Speaking of being on fire, I’ve been pondering on these two questions recently. Like what if someone asks me these questions, ano ba ang isasagot ko? 🙂
“Have you always been this on fire for the Lord?“
“Are you always this passionate with this Jesus thing?“
My answer sa mga tanong na ito is that, yes, I have always been on fire for the Lord. May mga times na hindi ako madalas makasimba, but my faith never became lukewarm. Lagi kasing may tugging ng Spirit to remain true sa calling at isa na dyan itong blog ko. Na kailangan ipagpatuloy ang pag-share ng Word and spiritual journey ko dito to fulfill the commitment I made when I surrendered my life to Him. Ganyan si God pagdating sa accountability, hindi mo Sya pwedeng talikuran ng ganun-ganun lang. 😃
Gaya noong isang araw, 2nd day ng prayer and fasting, I woke up with another eczema breakout – just one, right in the middle of my left hand. This one rash reappears on the same spot every time something triggers it i.e. perfumes, stress, food allergens, cold and dry environments, etc.
Noong una itong lumabas last year kung tama pagkaalala ko, na-bother ako kung ano na naman naka-trigger sa kanya. Hanggang sa nasanay na ako tignan sya every time it reappears. I’ve had eczema flare-ups since I was in college, btw. At napatawa na lang ako when I saw it again kahapon.
Because you know what it reminded me of? Para syang ‘yung scar ni Jesus sa kamay noong pinako Sya sa Cross. I mean, sa dinami-daming locations sa katawan na pwede syang lumabas, dito lang talaga sa left hand at saktong sentrong-sentro pa at nag-iisa lang sya.
At ngayon lang sa akin nag-sink in na hindi kaya God is trying to remind me something? And He had to use a visual reminder, something tangible na hindi ko basta-basta madi-dismiss. Because I am in this season yet again na God is telling me to do something that will require me to step out in even bigger faith. At ang sagot ko sa Kanya was this:
“Lord, I am unworthy. I am not equipped. I am not qualified. I don’t want to do it.”
I know God is reminding me of my worthagain – in Him. Para bang itong pantal ay reminder ng Dios na, “Tin, my Son sacrificed His life for you and died on the Cross to save you from being perished. Because that is how much I love you and that is how special you are to me. I want you to continue walking the path that I have set out for you to walk on and complete the task that I want you to do. His blood was shed on your behalf so you can be a new creation – because you are worthy. And I want other people to know and experience this, too.”
I guess the calling will always remain, and it will never change regardless of the circumstances we are in. Although hindi ko talaga pwedeng takasan ang calling because Christ is in my name. Unless I read my name backwards. 😅 Kidding aside, hindi ako pwedeng tumalikod sa calling because Christ already lives in me. 🙏
As my life verse goes, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13. And I will also add that I can do all these things because aside from Christ, I also have people who can help me do the work for the Lord no matter how daunting – they are the body of Christ. ♥️
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.” – Romans 8:18
P.S. Every church has its own flaws and weaknesses because the enemy will continue to attack it. But for as long as Jesus remains to be the center of the church, be in that spiritual family. And even if you’ve gone astray, come back. 🙏
The Journeyman's Moments 