The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I always watch Pastor Patrick’s preaching a week late, but I feel like the message is timely for me. There’s a part of me that regretted not being able to say “I love you” out loud to my Mom before she passed away.
We are never the type who are vocal with our “I love yous” though I never fail to say it when I text them. And last Sunday’s preaching reminded me to say these three words to people dear to me often but say it as if I really mean it. Because again, our days are numbered and we never know when will be our last day here in this world.
If you’re reading this, I want to say my heartfelt gratitude to you for being a part of this blog’s journey and my life’s journey. As a sister in Christ, I LOVE YOU. May we never depart from the One who made love possible – GOD is love. 🙂♥️🙏
More about regrets, saying “I love you,” and restoration in Pastor Patrick’s message below:
“We love because God loved us first.” 1 John 4:19
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5
Adulting is hard not because we are not up to the responsibilities that accompany it. Rather, the decisions that we have to make can weigh us down, especially if these decisions can alter how we live our lives and all other decisions that we will be making in the future.
Circumstances brought me here to Manila to do a lot of contemplating on what to do next. And one of them is about breast cancer. Yes, I plan to have an executive checkup here in Manila after my husband leaves for abroad. I already inquired in one of the hospitals in our province, unfortunately, they don’t offer executive checkups yet.
If my breast ultrasound (included in the executive checkup) comes out clear, I still plan on consulting with Mom’s oncologist when I get back to Bicol to ask if I should still have a mammogram since I’m only 38 years old. The recommended age for having a mammogram is 40 years old and above.
But given our family’s history of breast cancer, I would like to know what my options are. To be honest though, I feel awkward consulting with male doctors. 😁 I don’t know why in my previous consultations and even when I was hospitalized because of dengue, all the doctors who attended to me were all females though I never requested it.
Please don’t get me wrong because I am no sexist. It’s just that I feel like I can’t bare my heart out to a male doctor. lol Now, that gives you an idea already that I don’t have guy friends. To all the male doctors out there, I send you greetings of peace. ✌️😁 With female doctors, I tend to be very talkative especially when I’m nervous.
But it looks like my Mom’s oncologist will be an exception because of 2 things. First, I trust him because I already witnessed how he and the other doctors helped Mom manage her illness even though she’s in a very critical condition already. And second, I read this article on why credentials matter when choosing a doctor. He’s got strong credentials, so I’m assuming he’s the best of the best. Or maybe I’m just biased. lol Nah, he is the best in town – there’s no need for second-guessing here. 👍 These two factors are very important because basically, my life will depend on him.
I have a lot of questions that I’ve been meaning to ask him once we meet. One of them is if it’s a better alternative to have a double mastectomy just like what Angelina Jolie did to minimize the possibility of having breast cancer later on. But here’s my problem. What if I still want to have kids?
A double/bilateral mastectomy would mean I will no longer be able to breastfeed. After seeing the testimonies of other patients in the breast cancer support groups, I have decided not to push through with breast reconstruction surgery (skin grafting/implant), if ever, to lessen the chances of a recurrence or getting an infection. Although I read one case wherein after a bilateral mastectomy, the patient still had a recurrence on her chest wall this time.
I guess breast cancer cases really vary depending on whether the type of breast cancer is aggressive or not. I am hoping Dad’s genes are more dominant than my Mom’s, and my siblings and I will be spared from having breast cancer later on. Then I suddenly remembered that my Dad’s aunt (the sister of his dad) passed away because of breast cancer, too.
Yes, it will be a miracle if I die later on because of old age or any other sickness. But nothing is impossible with God. And if we also do our part to live a healthy lifestyle and have our regular checkups, then I believe dying of old age is still achievable.
Right now, all my siblings (1 brother and 3 sisters) are doing okay, by God’s grace, and they are between the ages of 40-50 already. But the thing is, we all haven’t had any breast cancer screenings lately.
I’m on a mission now to convince them to accompany me when we visit the doctor so they can have their checkups, too. I don’t know if my siblings are up to it because on my end, I am not afraid of whatever the findings are. Because when I do trust the doctor, even if I’m about to die, I will be at peace. My only request is to make my dying as painless as possible. Oh, and also, I want to die pretty.
I’m sure the doctor will tell me, “Tin, maybe what you need is a makeup artist and not a doctor.” 😅 Seriously though, nothing is more difficult than making decisions wherein your life is at stake. It’s as if you are given choices that will still eventually lead to you dying. What you’re actually given are options to die sooner or later.
So, how do I take this? It really depends on what God’s will is. Because right now, I am ready to go any time. I am at peace with everything because I already achieved some of my dreams, I did what I’ve always wanted to do in life, my siblings are doing okay, Dad has lived in full circle, and my husband has a bright future ahead of him – I am already content.
But as always, not our will but let God’s will be done always. We only do what is required of us, then we let God do the rest. Right now, I am contemplating whether having a child will still be my priority or if living cancer-free will take center stage from here onwards.
I still would want a child though even if I have it through IUI (as suggested by our ob-gyn 6 years ago but hubby was not yet ready). The thing is, my pregnancy will increase the estrogen levels in my body, and estrogen is what cancer cells feed on. However, if having a kid is not meant to be, then just like what Heart Evangelista said, “maybe we’re really not meant to have it all.”
When it comes to living a life with a flat chest because of bilateral mastectomy, the matriarchs in our family survived breast cancer and still got to live meaningful lives until they became seniors. For our generation, only God knows our fate. 🙂
Decisions, decisions. Make them wise, make them count. This I claim, and this I pray. 🙏
Let’s backtrack to a ’90s song (I’m a ’90s kid) that became a dance hit because I am feeling sentimental this Saturday. 😌
“Teach us (Lord) to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12
I’ve been contemplating this question even before December comes. Recent circumstances brought me to yet another crossroad, and they compelled me to think about the future.
“How will my 2024 turn out?”
It’s bleak. Just like how some of the previous years panned out. The future is and will never be certain, and I guess this is why people become fearful. We do not know what will happen, and it makes us anxious, doubtful, and worried. Because it all has something to do with control. We become fearful of things that we have no control over.
This is what God changed when I became a born-again Christian. He showed it to us yet again when my Mom died of stage 4 breast cancer last August. Money wasn’t able to save her. Not even the best doctors in town can save her. Because in God’s story, it’s already her time to go.
I may not know what the future holds, and yet I am certain about this one thing – I will have to deal with yet another heartbreak. That will be two major heartbreaks in a row – first, my Mom’s passing away, and second, losing my husband.
Separate Lives
No, my husband is not dying. But we are going to live separately, which has a high probability it will become legal. My husband wants to go back to Manila and work there again.
Sadly, Manila is no longer an option for me. I have a strong feeling I’ll die early there given that I have severe allergic rhinitis, and the air is just too polluted. I saw the news recently, and the haze has just gotten worse over the city. We also lived in my sister’s condo when we were there, and we happen to have neighbors who are chain smokers.
This aggravated my allergies to the point that I have frequent nosebleeds that get worse and worse every day. It has gotten so bad that my ENT doctor prescribed an antihistamine that I should take on a daily basis and other medications.
My husband was also tired at work given all the pressure brought about by the pandemic in the healthcare industry, he also needed a break. So we decided to come here to my hometown hoping to make a fresh start since I also work from home.
To make the story short, we came here to Bicol last year, but things didn’t turn out the way we had planned them to. Sad to say, this is one of the reasons why we have decided to separate ways.
The calling for me to stay here and serve the local community is far too strong to dismiss. I thought it was my husband’s calling, too, when we both witnessed this perfect rainbow in Albay going to Manila in January 2020.
The most memorable rainbow for me. ❤
The promises God gave me when I saw this perfect rainbow (my first perfect rainbow) were this:
“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
Unfortunately, these promises were only intended for me. My husband never felt the same calling. It was the opposite for him actually. His coming here only made him realize how much he longed for the city life and the late night outs and “inuman” sessions with his friends and coworkers.
He felt like his social life came to an abrupt halt when he got here. From what I’m seeing, he’s not yet ready to leave his comfort zone. I understand him because he grew up in the city.
All About Marriages
However, I must also say that this was also my trauma for the past 8 years that we’ve been together. How can I forget those sleepless nights when I didn’t know where he was because he was too drunk to text or call me, and he’d arrive home the next day not remembering where he spent the night away?
Or that time when I asked him about a missing bracelet that I gave him, only to find out later on that he’s given it to a female intern at work who took a fancy to that bracelet and asked if she could have it as a remembrance from him (???). Or that female coworker who’d video call him on Facebook, and when I answered, she said she accidentally pressed the call button (???). And a whole lot more of married couple traumas that I chose not to divulge anymore.
Because my husband is not all that. 🙂
I’ve seen him grow from a fetus, I mean, a boy (😉) to a man for the last 8 years. I’ve witnessed how he became this responsible man who is willing to make sacrifices just to meet me halfway.
Although let’s be honest, there are some bad habits that are just hard to break. I know we all can relate to this. Holistic transformation seldom happens overnight.
I actually celebrate individuality in relationships because this is how we grow as a person and eventually as a couple once we’ve both learned to navigate through our differences. I also agree with what the church taught us that we never marry so we can change our spouse.
A marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman and seeks to encourage a spouse to give to the significant other more than what she/he can get from him/her. And yet, it takes two to tango. Love must never be one-sided.
I’d always tell my husband to only change what needed to be changed for the marriage to survive and thrive. I give him the freedom to do what he wants given that it is within the boundaries of this marriage. If what he is about to do will compromise our marriage, and it’s not healthy for both of us as a couple, then he has to be accountable for his actions and address the consequences.
This is why long-distance relationships never work for me. A marriage requires a lot of hard work. Add to it being apart from each other, the probability of a marriage surviving is very, very low.
So, here’s my proposal to my husband if I should decide by the end of the year that I’m staying here in my hometown or somewhere else other than Manila. If he meets another woman, and between me and her he chooses her, then he must file an annulment case first before cohabiting with that woman.
Infidelity is the only reason permitted as grounds for divorce in the Bible (Matthew 19:9). Also, if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave the marriage, he or she can leave any time.
“But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15
So you might probably ask, “Aren’t you going to fight for your marriage, Tin?” Well, I’ve been doing that for the past 8 years. 🙂
I also got to talk to my Mom a couple of months before she passed away and I did ask for her advice regarding this (I’m missing our convos), and she told me that if my husband is not happy here, then I should let him go.
Her suggestion was that if my husband loved me enough, then he should be able to look for other employment opportunities here and adjust just so we could still be together. And yet, I also understand where my husband is coming from.
Where Is Home?
Manila is not my home. It is for him. Bicol is my home. It is not for him. This is the part where I get to go back to what I mentioned in my previous paragraphs about God being in control.
These are matters that are already out of my control. What I’ve learned in my marriage is that I do not have control over how my husband feels, how he reacts, how he thinks, how he decides, and how he behaves. I can only take these matters to God, and tackle issues as they come one day at a time. As Scripture goes,
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6
“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” – Matthew 6:27
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34
But a more pressing concern is the basis of my decision to stay. I need to take care of my health. I am already at a high risk of getting breast cancer. What happened to Mom is a constant reminder to me to stay as healthy as possible.
I was born with a weak immune system, and I have always been the sickest kid in the family. Out of Mom’s 4 watchers when she was at the hospital, I was the only one who contracted Covid.
My sister, Tita Len, and my spouse all turned out negative in their antigen tests and never even had symptoms. I, on the other hand, still have long Covid rashes every now and then.
I tried not to take antihistamines every day, but I can only go on for a couple of days and the congestion will come back, especially at night. These are all minor health conditions though and are easily manageable.
So yes, I know you’re bored already, so let’s cut this short. 😀
This photo might encourage you to keep reading if you want to find out where this was taken. 😉 Photo courtesy of my husband the day before my 36th birthday (12/21/2021).
Trusting God Always
I may not know what will happen next year. Or where I will be. Because I don’t want to be in Manila, and yet I also don’t want to be in my hometown because Mom’s memories here at home make me miss her a lot.
I want to heal someplace else and live somewhere halfway between Manila and Sorsogon. That would be Camarines Sur, but I prefer somewhere close enough so I can visit Dad regularly during weekends.
Albay, maybe? I really don’t know. But before you assume that I am running away from Manila and my hometown, actually I go where God will ask me to go. It can be in Albay or for all I know, it could be somewhere in Batanes or Tawi-Tawi. Or abroad.
One of my sweet escapes – the ocean. ❤️
It’s a good thing that I am a remote worker so I can work from anywhere. Thank God for remote work because it is just fitting for a nomadic lifestyle. If I were also to be asked what are the 3 things that I can’t live without, that would be my laptop, my phone, and my “Go Bag.” Then, you can bring me anywhere.
Yes, a Go Bag will count as one thing, right? lol Nah, it’ll be an unfair answer knowing that everything we need to survive is in the Go Bag. On a serious note, I’ll be sharing more about emergency preparedness in my upcoming articles since we are already in a climate emergency. And no, I’m not a doomsday prepper. I’m just a regular civilian trying to get by in a chaotic society.
Where God Leads, I Follow
About my plan to go someplace else, I’m still trying to ask God for a clearer picture after I saw that perfect rainbow in Albay and received the assurance of a promise. Albay is actually my Mom’s second home (more about it here). My Mom also stayed at my Tita’s place in Daraga and tagged along 2 of my siblings who were still toddlers back then. That was when Mom and Dad had a huge fight, and Mom decided to leave him for good.
But well, as we all know it, love brought them back together. Dad changed his bad habits, pursued Mom, and Mom loved him enough to forgive him, and they actually just celebrated their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary last June 1, 2023. Speaking of love, you might want to watch a movie on Netflix entitled “Love At First Sight.”
It’s a new release, and according to the movie, it’s not a love story but it’s a story about fate and chances. And what do you do with both. I think it really is not your typical love story though the movie title was too cliche, but I must admit it was one of the best chick flicks I’ve watched. I plan on writing a movie review about it, so better watch it now before I spoil it. 😉
To end this long article, I only have one concrete plan in mind for next year. That is, to move forward. Because that is the only way to go and that has always been the case for me ever since I became a born-again Christian.
Is it toxic positivity? I don’t know, but it works for me and I owe it all to God’s grace. It is this undeserving grace that got me to where I am now even if there were numerous times I felt like I wouldn’t make it. I do not plan on wallowing in sadness, grief, and sorrow for a long period of time because that is not living.
I hope this article will also encourage those who are going through very difficult situations to continue to soar. Nothing is ever too broken for God that He can never make whole again. God is not done with you and with me yet. We still have a lot more to do for His people and for His kingdom. We’re still breathing, right? So, LIVE. ❤
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a video of a Brahminy Kite I spotted back on our farm. I love to see them soar up high with wings all spread out, gliding up and down. They belong to the family of eagles and they are not yet endangered but sadly, their numbers are declining. I am praying God will give us the guidance and wisdom to protect them in the Wildlife Sanctuary that we plan to establish inside the farm.I am hoping to partner with DENR/MENRO for this.
And of course, sharing with you my fave song for this week. ❤ May God’s favors be upon you this coming week, dear brothers and sisters. 🙏
I believe I’m not the only woman right now who’s faced with the dilemma of getting their hair trimmed and done since all the salons are closed. I have wavy hair, and I usually have it rebonded.
After some moments of deep contemplation (it’s a major life decision. lol), I finally decided to have my haircut from the comfort of our own home (thanks to my husband) because of the following reasons:
1. Use less hair products, save more.
I used to consume two bottles of shampoo and conditioner for my long hair in a month. But now, I use just one. I prefer hair products that contain natural ingredients because my hair’s been treated. They cost a bit more, however, than the regular shampoo and conditioner sold in the supermarkets.
2. You can save time and effort in managing your hair.
It became my habit to tie my hair in a bun without combing. Let’s just say I am too impatient to brush tangled hair, and it’s a bit painful too especially if you’re just going to brush them off without untangling the strands first.
There was one time where I got too impatient I brushed my hair intensely. The result? A huge chunk came off. Was it painful? I didn’t notice because I was so furious. 😂
3. I wanted to look my age.
Yes, I look like a high school student with my long tresses. Though looking young can be a compliment, it’s a disadvantage sometimes, let’s say, when you’re at work. If you want to achieve a professional look, a short hairstyle always does the trick.
The last time I cut my hair up until above the shoulders was back in high school. A shorter hair makes me look more matured, and I now look like someone in her 30s (I think). I still need your opinion on this one though. 😃
4. Less mane, less contact with COVID-19.
There are several instances that will make it easy for you to catch the virus if your hair falls everywhere. Like when you’re buying groceries and doing other errands, for example.
If your hair is long and untied, there’s a high chance your reflex is to tuck it behind your ear or brush it off your face. And this is what we all have to keep in mind while the COVID-19 situation is still ongoing – avoid touching your face at all times.
5. It feels light.
Ah yes, this is probably one of the best reasons why I chop my hair off down to half of its length if its long. It feels airy without that sticky feeling on your nape. My hair also tends to be greasy after a day.
No matter what our reasons are for keeping our hair short or long, it really isn’t the crowning glory. Go on and experiment with different lengths and styles. It’ll grow long anyway in a matter of months.
But what’s more important is how confident you are regardless if you sport a short hairdo or a long one. Beauty from within always wins the hearts more than what pleases the eye. ❤️
“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.” – 1 Peter 3:3
“You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. – 1 Peter 3:4
Beautiful in God’s eyes always,
P.S. Having a gentle and quiet spirit is what I’m currently working on. Let’s just say I came from a generation that breeds alpha females in the society. 😉
I am “hibernating” on social media lately although not entirely because I still log in daily to check my messages and browse through newsfeeds. But compared to my regular social media habit the past months, I’ve been posting fewer updates recently.
I Was Gently Reminded
Last Christmas, I was excitedly capturing photos of the moments shared with my family from the food to the presents, to the activities that we did, to a whole lot more of fun-filled memories.
When my Mom saw what I was doing, she told me one thing that I’ll never forget:
“So you’re taking photos and will most probably post them on Facebook to show people the things that you have or done, which some of them might not have or can’t do.”
Ever since the Facebook revolution started, Mom has always been cynical about it. At first, I contradicted her by saying that Facebook and all other social media channels (she doesn’t know IG, yet 😀 ) are beneficial, too, in some ways. She relented but with a gentle reminder to be wise when sharing on social media.
I must admit I had moments back then when I felt that my Mom was right. As what they say on Facebook, always “think before you click.” But it was her very recent reminder about social media that cut deeper through me – the “why” of my social media hibernation except here on WordPress.
Is It Good?
I love Science and Technology so much that I am always excited about every new discovery and invention out there. And yet, we all know, too, that every single one of them has its own pros and cons. When it comes to social media, I was wondering to what extent can it affect our lives? Is it more on the pros or the cons?
I observed one negative side of social media, what study experts call as “humblebragging.” I never even knew the term existed until I encountered it while reading a couple of articles. These write-ups describe the studies conducted to observe the effects of social media on human psychology.
Research revealed that one of the most notable effects social media has on users is depression. To connect this to what my Mom said, more often than not social media posts can breed feelings of misery, discontentment, disappointment, and discouragement, which will eventually lead to depression. If we are to trace what is causing this, the root of the evil so to speak, it is this – envy.
I have a lot of photos and a lot of status updates to share on Facebook and Instagram, but what my Mom told me last year made me think twice whether I really should go ahead and post them or not. I want to share them BUT I know what my Mom is really telling me is to be responsible for what I will share. In other words, if it isn’t beneficial to others, then leave it unshared.
My social media hibernation isn’t because I won’t post anymore. Rather, I am thinking of ways how to share to people the things that I know, the things that I did, and the things that I have that won’t elicit any feelings of jealousy and disappointment on their part.
It is not my intent for my newsfeed followers to have the wrong notion that my life is way perfect and better than theirs because it is not just true. That’s why I make it a point to share a couple of bad news, even sensitive ones, just to bring light on my weaknesses and my lack of certain things and abilities, too. This is to affirm that we are all equal and go through different circumstances but the same seasons of drought and bountiful harvest.
Yes, Facebook and Instagram have become a “bragging wall.” This is becoming a deadly trend, and I really mean deadly because it can kill someone through depression. This is the deadly trend that portrays perfection on social media and it is encouraging everyone to have a false and pretentious lifestyle just to keep up with the game.
What if you can’t keep up?
Then this now becomes the problem. This is how people start feeling less about themselves, the inadequacy around them, the hopelessness, and ultimately, the unhappiness.
So I struggle.
What should I post? Will my post make me look like a humblebrag? Will it help other people feel good about themselves? Or should I not post anything at all?
Hmmm, I think I’m humblebragging in this post. So now I’m at a loss on what I should write about. 😀
Seriously, I’m going to end this article with a prayer asking for guidance and discernment to know the right actions when sharing about our daily lives to others. And my next article will be related to this, if God wills it, entitled “Humblebragging in Christianity: A Study.”
I am guilty of humblebragging one way or the other and I want to make up for all those feelings of misery and discontentment that I have caused on other people through my past social media posts. So yes, may the Lord give us new ways to make up for these mistakes made unknowingly. ❤
This is a praise report because we just have a GREAT and WONDERFUL GOD worthy of our praise and all the glory. ❤😊
Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow
The title sounds familiar? It should if you sing it. 😉
A few weeks ago, my husband and I have been going through rough months in several areas of our lives. Our families were there to give us comfort and support and yet we all know that the deep grievances of the heart can only be comforted by God and God alone. Emotions were high, tough decisions have to be made.
I must admit I was never that strong. In fact, I was very weak during these moments – I cried, I lamented, I complained, I was bitter, I was enraged…but I held on to faith. Because God rewards those who remain steadfast in times of testing. I know that He will always be there.
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
The Lord lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked down to the ground. – Psalm 147:6
What Are Blessings?
When I speak of blessings, I am referring to both tangible and intangible things. Most of them, in fact, won’t fit the standards of this world and how the world defines success – riches, accumulation of possessions and material wealth, winning a competition, having a prestigious title, achievements, etc.
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
Yes, this has always been my mantra – don’t go with the flow when it comes to social practices. Assess whether what you are doing is indeed to glorify God, do His will, and serve others. Because as much as we want to deny it, this is our only purpose in this world – spread the Good News.
Are We Really Doing It For God?
I realized that thanking God for our achievements doesn’t really glorify God. I, myself, was a victim of this. Every time I accomplish something, I always think that it is also what God wanted me to do. Little did I know that it is the enemy’s trap to slowly enter in his lair – temptations for worldly success, to please the world, to be prideful about what I can do, and to boast about what I have.
This drive to pursue selfish ambition and using God as a cover-up is a very deadly addiction. It poisons your motivation until you are suddenly being led astray. You become hungry for power. You become hungry for validation. You become reliant on your own efforts. You become envious of others. You become addicted to worldly rewards. In other words, it is now the world that is feeding you and your soul, not God anymore.
“Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” – 1 John 2:15-17
How did the realization come? Sometimes it comes as a painful rebuke and sometimes through other people’s lives as examples of who I should be and who I shouldn’t be.
This was how one challenging situation became a blessing. As I’ve shared in my previous posts, circumstances demanded I go through several medical checkups – I was feeling the symptoms and the effects of doing things my way driven by my ambitions.
It was a “health scare.”
But that “health scare” was God’s wake-up call. He doesn’t want me to do things apart from His will and guidance. He knows I was being led astray from where He originally called me to be. As God’s blessing for my obedience, I came out clear in every single test with just a slight work-up (yay for this!). But, I know I need to receive it with a promise on my end – follow the path that He chose for me.
And if you’ve been a follower of Christ for a long time now, I know you can relate when I say that the road that God sometimes asks us to tread on is never an easy path. It requires a lot of sacrifices but in the end, it is always about this – relinquishing the “self” and embracing God’s will.
Our notion of “best” is oftentimes not what God has in mind as His best for us. Don’t be deceived by the enemy, always check your heart, and never forget to ask God for His will every single day.
We always have to be careful with this and look into our hearts what really is our motivation and agenda for doing the things that we do now? Are they really to please God or to please ourselves and other people?
Do you still sense that tinge of “I want” when you make decisions in life or is it always about “what does God want?”.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3
I have learned to let go of promotions, of pursuing my dream to have initials attached to my name, of following my timeline and bucket/wish list, and of being regarded as society’s “best” all to pursue God’s calling. I have learned to deny the cravings of my flesh and the demands of the world when God says they are not what I need.
God always sees our hearts.
Two Sundays ago, a preaching by one of our pastors in church resonated with me. It came just very timely. It is about the pursuit of being a COO or a CEO or being at the top, in other words, and the dangers of it. His question just lingered on me all throughout the week:
“At what cost?”
Yes, there is nothing wrong being at the top or being the best and yet what is the motivation behind it? If we have the wrong motivation and if it is not God’s will for us, then, definitely, there is a collateral.
What are we willing to sacrifice? Is it time with our kids? Is it quality time with our spouses? Is it our health?
This brings us back to the hierarchy of priorities:
God
Spouse
Family
Career
Ministry
These are never interchangeable. When we do rearrange them, then we know that this is where things go bad – imbalance. Sooner or later we will experience the consequences of it. My only prayer is that it won’t be too late before we arrange them again in that order.
How many people now are diagnosed with stress-related obesity or have been stress eating? How many have been diagnosed with ailments that have unexplained causes? How many have already died because some of these ailments have no cure?
This was the wake-up call for me. It is in my nature to be a multitasker. I want to accomplish a lot because I want to do a lot of things to the point that my body begins to fail me because I was just too tired.
And it all dawned on me, all for what and for whom?
I know God is giving me an assurance that I have made the right choice – to never pursue the things of this world. He knows my heart did not completely embrace this yet. So He sealed it with reminders for two consecutive days from my daily devotion last week about worldly success, busyness, etc.
Filling Up The Tank
When I was staring at the speedometer, a thought came into my mind. Just like a car when it’s low on fuel, it needs to stop or better yet, it needs to be filled up. Only then can it run smoothly again back on the path – the right path. No stopovers this time, no detours. Unless it’s time for yet another refill.
One wise question to ask ourselves is this: “If we are the car, what, or rather, Who is our fuel?”
To end this article, I am just grateful for the abundance of blessings, too, for each and every member of our families. I never fail to include them in my prayers every single night because, once again, they come 3rd on my list of priorities. I don’t want to boast specifically but let me just boast about a God who is more than enough. ❤
My only prayer is that I can spread the love of God to others, too, in whatever medium, through what God has called me to do, and with what He has given me. The future seems dim and covered, for now, and my view of it is limited. But I have faith God is already waiting for me at the end of the road. I was just stopping by for a fuel refill for now. 😉
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – Corinthians 4:18
Blessed to have a God who calls me His daughter,
P.S.
Who’s ready to enjoy summer with me and bask under the bright sun with a grateful heart? ❤ Life is just good when you have God in it, isn’t it? 😉
And of course, what is life without God and your God-given mate? My deepest gratitude goes out to my beloved husband, too, for a whole lot of things. ❤
February this year was full of mourning and grief from deaths of loved ones of people I know. It made me think about life’s brevity and longevity – the reason why Science never stopped in discovering how life can be preserved. In fact, a lot of movies have been inspired by it – how to attain immortality. But, as we all know, only One conquered death and it’s for the purpose of giving everyone immortality – eternal life.
What is Death?
One story is about someone from our church. I don’t know her personally but we have common friends. When I checked out her profile, three words came into my mind – young, devoted, and vibrant. Her life, albeit short, was full of colors – she lived life to the fullest in adoration and service to the Lord. She was diagnosed with lupus and it was through her testimony that I discovered that lupus is also the same as cancer – incurable. What struck me after reading her testimony was this statement: “Sometimes pain can make you forget God.”
It is true. Any form of extreme pain, may it be physical or emotional, can sometimes make you question your existence, your purpose, and finally your faith. But, if you have been saved prior to the pain, or even during the pain, none of everything you will go through, what you have done, and what you have will matter.
“We, therefore, were buried with Him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may walk in newness of life.” -Romans 6:4
The same goes to those who died old. It reminded me of my maternal grandma who will be celebrating her 95th birthday this year if God wills it. She would always ask me and my siblings when will God take her. Our only answer is that only God knows and maybe God has a purpose for her that is still yet to be fulfilled.
I see her suffer now from the ailments of old age. I feel her pain. I ask God the same questions, too. And one of those questions is this, “Lord, is there ever a way for us to die a painless death a.k.a. the easy death?”
I guess we all have that moment wherein we ask God how we will die. Will we ever grow old? Will we die of cancer? Will we die in an accident? Will I die in my sleep? Will I die with a mangled body? Will I die writhing in pain?
Is Your Heart Ready?
Through all these questions, one stood out: “Are our hearts ready?”
Can we live life just like my churchmate? Though she went through so much pain, she had the assurance of life in eternity. It’s the same with my grandma. Though there is a restlessness in her heart, peace also comes within her brought about by the same assurance.
There’s just one form of death that makes me deeply sad – suicide. One of my friends on Facebook shared about a niece, a high school student, who committed suicide by hanging herself. I checked out her profile and I have seen how depression overtook the better part of her.
If only someone reached out to her and shared the Good News. A shared conversation could’ve changed her fate. A shared story would’ve made all the difference. A fellowship perhaps about how we all go through painful and difficult moments in life and yet by God’s grace and because of the assurance of life in eternity, we endure them all, we strive forward and carry our own “crosses” no matter how heavy they are. Yes, carry them until we have fulfilled what God has tasked us to do as a follower of Christ.
I grieved for her soul – that which can never be resurrected, one that will forever be lost.
I Am Ready
Death, sickness, lost lives…they all dawned on me and my current situation. I lost one good career opportunity because my health demanded it. I am facing my own fears, too – dying young, dying old, and going through extreme pain.
But instead of living life in fear dreading what sad or bad news the future might bring, I celebrate life. Not through YOLO or FOMO but through a heart that is ready.
God has been postponing my visit to the doctor for a whole lot of different reasons – the doctor canceled, hubby’s loa wasn’t approved, etc. But this coming Saturday is our “hope” day. And as with everything, I will wait what and where God will bring me. So as my prayer goes, LET HIS WILL BE DONE. 🙂
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4
And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.” – Revelation 21: 5
Last night, I had the urge to eat out at one of the popular fast food chains in our place. When I arrived, all the seats downstairs were taken, so I went up and was glad to see lots of available seats. I took a look around and chose the perfect spot for me to eat and stay for a while.
It’s a seat that overlooks an intersection and where most of the traffic activity in the place converges. There’s also a glass window that gave me the opportunity to observe people behind me through the reflection.
I never really had an idea why I chose that spot, but something in me told me about this word – story. Yes, the reason why I love observing people and activities is that I can get a lot of stories from them.
As a writer, these scenes are an opportunity to come up with new and fresh ideas and concepts. They also provide me with a different take on a lot of things.
I believe God placed me in that seat to write this story.
Being seated at the end of the room, I can see from the reflection in the glass window if someone is approaching me. This night, there were 3 scenarios that came into play featuring 3 not-so-ordinary kids.
Scenario 1
The first kid who approached me was a street kid in rugged and dirty clothes carrying 5 pesos with him and drinking a soda from that fast-food chain, which I believe was given by someone who also ate there, or he could’ve bought it from the money he was able to gather from begging.
The first thing he asked was if I could give him enough coins to buy him a meal for that night. I looked at him, and though I normally don’t give out money to beggars, something in his appeal made me do so. I gave him a couple of coins but told him to buy himself dinner. He then thanked me and went towards the next table.
Scenario 2
Another kid came by, but this one’s different. He’s carrying a basket of packed marinated milkfish. The boy sounded like a young salesman with his bubbly sales pitch that almost sounded like an advertisement you hear on television.
I thought it was entertaining and true enough; I wasn’t the only one who was entertained. He approached a couple eating at a table with his bubbly pitch and also joked around with the guy. He was able to hook his client – the guy took his offer to buy 3 pieces (1 set) for 120 pesos.
Then the guy started asking him who prepared the milkfish, to which he answered that it was his aunt. The guy actually tried to haggle, saying he wanted to buy 1 piece only. But the boy didn’t give in and smilingly told the guy that he only sells a 3-piece set and that he needs to be home soon because he will be going to school early the next day. He didn’t approach me, although I was tempted to buy, too.
Scenario 3
Then, a few minutes later, another boy came in carrying a basket, too. But this time, the contents of his basket are polvoron. The boy approached me with a very sad introduction and offered his products almost to the point of begging. He already had around 60 pesos placed on top of the items. I looked at the boy, and I declined his offer. He still wouldn’t budge until a high school student seated behind me called his attention, saying he wanted to buy one.
God Calls For His Children
Most likely, you will think of my actions as unfair. So why didn’t I buy from the last boy? I am unsure how the polvoron was prepared, and I couldn’t cook it to make it safe to eat compared with the marinated milkfish. Although honestly, I feel sorry that I didn’t buy some because I really felt that I should. So I am praying to God that I’ll still have another opportunity to see this kid, and I’ll buy what he has to offer.
Some will agree that it’s better to buy from kids than to give money to those who just beg. I also agree with this and that we need to empower them to strive instead of encouraging them to depend on other people for their needs by begging for money. I believe this will help solve the poverty mentality – that everyone has the opportunity to make a living as long as you have the discipline, perseverance, patience, and will power.
But this is not always the case. And this is why I gave coins to the first boy who begged me to give him some. Why? When I looked at the boy, the first thing I thought was, where are his parents? He looked as if no one was taking care of him.
So this means he’s alone, fending for himself, trying to get by with whatever he has and what he can get from begging. But what I also thought is that he’s in need of a mentor, someone who can usher him towards the right opportunities to make a living like working in a car wash shop for example as a washer boy, etc.
Compared to the other two boys, they sure have parents or relatives who care for them because they have items to sell in the first place. They already have the means to make it out of poverty and there are people who are guiding them what to do and how to earn a living.
The Other Side of the Coin
Looking at all 3, it can give us the different facets of human life and the different kinds of people:
1.) Trying to live life with no support system – living by grace.
2.) Trying to earn a living with the help of relatives and enjoying it – a positive disposition.
3.) Trying to earn a living with the help of relatives, but with a disgruntled heart – discontentment.
These are all hasty generalizations based on the different scenarios I have witnessed, and I have no idea what really goes on in their lives or what they went through on that day. And yet each one of them carries a hope that all of us try to live out each day, trying to make meaning out of what we do and why we do things.
I am praying for these kids and other kids like them. May God continue to guide them as they go about with life’s atrocities. All may come from different backgrounds and may be given different opportunities, and yet the gift of God is free for all, and that is all that matters. I pray that is what they will experience and hold on to wherever fate would bring them as they get older. ❤
‘May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.’ – Numbers 6:24-26
I came up with this title a few months back while I was sorting out my editorial calendar. Instead of a feature article, I felt it best to write a short free-verse poem. Hope you’ll be inspired by it. 🙂
Battle Scars: Loving Deeply
by: Tin Ginete-Rome
What wounds did time not heal?
And what scars too deep that God did not mend?
Was it really God?
I bet it was.
Who carried you when you can’t walk?
Who lifted you when you stumbled?
Who held your hand when you were lost?
Who called you by your name when you felt like giving up?
“It is already finished.”
No pain, no struggles, no earthly death can separate us from the love of God.
Jesus already paid the price and bore the consequences of our sins.
Because God loves us.
Battle scars don’t define who you are.
Christ does.
Battle scars don’t change who you are.
God does.
Be proud of your scars for each one of them carries a story of victory.
A story of healing, a story of enduring, a story of freedom, a story of God’s grace.
Embrace your battle scars, for it is by them that you have felt God’s immeasurable love for you.
I have felt it in my heart to post this article even if it is not yet Friday because I have sensed the urgency as well as the accountability on my part.
Since my #everyFridayblogpost advocacy started here on WordPress recently, I have been posting a lot of articles all for the purpose of sharing my day to day journey. This, I would like to reiterate, is not for the reason of boasting what I have and what I can do.
I’d like to begin my article with this premise – I share articles with the hope of encouraging my audience or my readers to gain insights that will help them achieve a BETTER SENSE OF SELF, thus, a BETTER CHARACTER.
I am aware that posting on social media requires so much responsibility and yes, accountability. What I post, I have to make sure that my reader will benefit from it and not the other way around.
I guess I can presume the role of a social media influencer in this case. However, it pains me to see that people interpret what I do as achieving perfection and pride in my achievements.
No, my dear. It is not perfection that I hope to achieve because perfection can only be achieved by no other than our perfect creator who is God, Himself.
It pains me to see people copying what I do, BUT with the wrong motives in the heart. You see, if I exhaust all my talents, skills, and resources that I have, that is not for the purpose of satisfying my own selfish desires because I don’t do it out of fame, popularity, and recognition.
I don’t share my skills and talents to the world just so they see me as the ever-so-talented, gifted, favored by God, jack-of-all-trades woman. No, I share it out of God’s guidance which is this – using my skills to SERVE GOD and OTHERS and not myself.
I write in this blog and other writing communities I volunteer because God HAS INSTRUCTED me to do so. The instruction wasn’t given to me overnight. It was a long, grueling season of waiting and asking God and knowing what are HIS PURPOSES for me.
I use my gift in art and sketching and sketch people because I give these sketches to them as GIFTS. I know the fun and happiness they will derive from them once they receive them. The same goes for all my other hobbies which are photography, playing the guitar, cooking, etc.
I pursue and explore what other talents and skills God has given me not in the context of how I will benefit from them. But it is more on HOW GOD AND OTHERS WILL BENEFIT FROM THEM. This should be the ONLY MOTIVATION and reason why we do things that we do now may it be in our careers, family life, or other endeavors.
My friend, you might be getting it all wrong. Don’t be deceived. Don’t let envy creep into your heart making yourself believe that I am more blessed than you are and wishing you have the life that I have. WE ARE BOTH BLESSED.
Don’t pretend to live the life I have because the life that I have is the life that God has purposefully given to me and to me alone. I sought God’s guidance to lead me to my purpose and this is how He showed it to me. For you, it might be different.
Don’t let envy, bitterness, resentment, greed, selfish ambition, and the lies of the enemy blind you from pursuing God’s will, plans, and purpose for your life. You will not see your God-given purpose (which is way better because God has planned it specifically for you) if you are busy living the life of someone else.
But what hurts me the most is when the lies, greed, and envy (works of the enemy) succeeded in tempting you to sin even more. An example of this is stealing the works of others and presenting them to the world as your own work.
Back in college, UP Diliman’s motto is HONOR and EXCELLENCE. Why HONOR? Because the university takes pride in teaching students and eventually raising individuals who will have a GOOD CHARACTER, first and foremost. Next is EXCELLENCE. You will only achieve true excellence if and only if you were able to do the impossible while keeping your HONOR intact.
That is why plagiarism is punishable by expulsion from the university. Just a single phrase that you’re not able to cite properly well from the original author, it will suffice as grounds for plagiarism. Our society has its own rules when it comes to that. These are the COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT laws.
What do they cover? Any written output, piece of artwork, may it be a photograph, a sketch, or a painting, you always have to give credit to the author or the creator if you intend on using them. That is why here on my website, I have included a copyright claim at the bottom.
I also use a couple of plagiarism software and tools such as Copyscape to determine if my articles have been plagiarized or used without my consent. For my photos and published artwork, I use Google Image Revert Search.
If you intend to share other people’s work because you were inspired by what they do, give them the credit the right way. But if it is your intention to make other people’s work as your own and take credit for it, that is STEALING. And STEALING IS A CRIME.
I am begging you, as a dear friend and a sister in Christ, to take heed. Don’t lie to yourself, to the world, and most especially to God who sees all. DO NOT USE THE NAME OF GOD IN VAIN.
God will not be pleased at all. I am pleading on your behalf so God will give you the mercy and spare you from His wrath. He might be using me to speak through you not to condemn you but as a rebuke and a chance to ask God for forgiveness before it’s too late.
He loves you and I love you, too. In fact, I love you so much I can’t bear it to see you fail in your faith and suffer. I took all the effort and courage I could muster and sought God for His leading for how many weeks now on how I will be able to let the message across inflicting as little pain and hurt as possible.
GOD HAS A BEAUTIFUL PURPOSE FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE. He has wonderfully created you as someone UNIQUE and SPECIAL. Talk to God, speak to Him, and ask Him what kind of life, what kind of person, and what kind of purpose He wants you to live out.
“Seek His will in ALL you do and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6
I am writing this article because I felt I also need to take the blame partly. I know I am also an instrument for the deception of the enemy. But I will also do the best that I can to snatch you from the enemy’s stronghold and bring you back to God.
Because again, He loves you and I love you, too…And lastly, be strong for God and fight the good fight of faith. You are not alone…
The Journeyman's Moments 