The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
My sister who’s in Bicol sent us these beautiful and lovely photos of the bougainvilleas I bought last year as part of our beautification/landscaping project on the farm. 😍 I am so happy that they survived and are thriving well because they’re almost dying when I left.
These bougies didn’t have flowers when I bought them. I just trusted the seller that she’s going to give me the right ones. 😃And I was surprised that she included a red one. My eldest sister prefers to have this on the farm.
I had to repot them, transfer them to a new location, prune them, and replant the cuttings hoping they will still survive. They haven’t bloomed for a couple of months when I was still there. One of them also had yellow spots on its leaves.
The first location where I placed them is a “dead spot” in our garden. I call it a “dead spot” because it’s in the middle of our backyard, but any plant that we try to grow there just dies. I think we need to conduct a soil analysis in that particular area because even the plants that are very prolific growers become sick.
My guess is that the soil might be contaminated by a toxic chemical that slowly kills the plants. I am just overjoyed to see that the bougies have all recovered. It looks like my sister and the new house help are also doing an excellent job of keeping these plants healthy (thank you, ladies 🥰). And I think Mom is still taking good care of her garden. 😍
Thank God the leaves have finally recovered. 🙏I plan to transplant them somewhere in the garden when I get back. But this time I am planting them directly on the soil. I just need to find the perfect spot so I can propagate them.
And of course, my sister included a photo of my first baby girl – Peekah. That’s her favorite sleeping position with her tail all curled up to cover her little girl. 😂
I miss you, my Peekahm.
I’ll see you soon my babies and my loves. You just have to wait for me a little bit more. And the biophilia in me also can’t wait to commune with nature for my regular dose of soul therapy. Ah yes, more patience, Tin. Just a little more patience. 🙏
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and the strength of His might.” – Ephesians 6:10
Just the right worship song to prep the soul for Holy Week.Do what your soul tells you to do.🙏
Adulting is hard not because we are not up to the responsibilities that accompany it. Rather, the decisions that we have to make can weigh us down, especially if these decisions can alter how we live our lives and all other decisions that we will be making in the future.
Circumstances brought me here to Manila to do a lot of contemplating on what to do next. And one of them is about breast cancer. Yes, I plan to have an executive checkup here in Manila after my husband leaves for abroad. I already inquired in one of the hospitals in our province, unfortunately, they don’t offer executive checkups yet.
If my breast ultrasound (included in the executive checkup) comes out clear, I still plan on consulting with Mom’s oncologist when I get back to Bicol to ask if I should still have a mammogram since I’m only 38 years old. The recommended age for having a mammogram is 40 years old and above.
But given our family’s history of breast cancer, I would like to know what my options are. To be honest though, I feel awkward consulting with male doctors. 😁 I don’t know why in my previous consultations and even when I was hospitalized because of dengue, all the doctors who attended to me were all females though I never requested it.
Please don’t get me wrong because I am no sexist. It’s just that I feel like I can’t bare my heart out to a male doctor. lol Now, that gives you an idea already that I don’t have guy friends. To all the male doctors out there, I send you greetings of peace. ✌️😁 With female doctors, I tend to be very talkative especially when I’m nervous.
But it looks like my Mom’s oncologist will be an exception because of 2 things. First, I trust him because I already witnessed how he and the other doctors helped Mom manage her illness even though she’s in a very critical condition already. And second, I read this article on why credentials matter when choosing a doctor. He’s got strong credentials, so I’m assuming he’s the best of the best. Or maybe I’m just biased. lol Nah, he is the best in town – there’s no need for second-guessing here. 👍 These two factors are very important because basically, my life will depend on him.
I have a lot of questions that I’ve been meaning to ask him once we meet. One of them is if it’s a better alternative to have a double mastectomy just like what Angelina Jolie did to minimize the possibility of having breast cancer later on. But here’s my problem. What if I still want to have kids?
A double/bilateral mastectomy would mean I will no longer be able to breastfeed. After seeing the testimonies of other patients in the breast cancer support groups, I have decided not to push through with breast reconstruction surgery (skin grafting/implant), if ever, to lessen the chances of a recurrence or getting an infection. Although I read one case wherein after a bilateral mastectomy, the patient still had a recurrence on her chest wall this time.
I guess breast cancer cases really vary depending on whether the type of breast cancer is aggressive or not. I am hoping Dad’s genes are more dominant than my Mom’s, and my siblings and I will be spared from having breast cancer later on. Then I suddenly remembered that my Dad’s aunt (the sister of his dad) passed away because of breast cancer, too.
Yes, it will be a miracle if I die later on because of old age or any other sickness. But nothing is impossible with God. And if we also do our part to live a healthy lifestyle and have our regular checkups, then I believe dying of old age is still achievable.
Right now, all my siblings (1 brother and 3 sisters) are doing okay, by God’s grace, and they are between the ages of 40-50 already. But the thing is, we all haven’t had any breast cancer screenings lately.
I’m on a mission now to convince them to accompany me when we visit the doctor so they can have their checkups, too. I don’t know if my siblings are up to it because on my end, I am not afraid of whatever the findings are. Because when I do trust the doctor, even if I’m about to die, I will be at peace. My only request is to make my dying as painless as possible. Oh, and also, I want to die pretty.
I’m sure the doctor will tell me, “Tin, maybe what you need is a makeup artist and not a doctor.” 😅 Seriously though, nothing is more difficult than making decisions wherein your life is at stake. It’s as if you are given choices that will still eventually lead to you dying. What you’re actually given are options to die sooner or later.
So, how do I take this? It really depends on what God’s will is. Because right now, I am ready to go any time. I am at peace with everything because I already achieved some of my dreams, I did what I’ve always wanted to do in life, my siblings are doing okay, Dad has lived in full circle, and my husband has a bright future ahead of him – I am already content.
But as always, not our will but let God’s will be done always. We only do what is required of us, then we let God do the rest. Right now, I am contemplating whether having a child will still be my priority or if living cancer-free will take center stage from here onwards.
I still would want a child though even if I have it through IUI (as suggested by our ob-gyn 6 years ago but hubby was not yet ready). The thing is, my pregnancy will increase the estrogen levels in my body, and estrogen is what cancer cells feed on. However, if having a kid is not meant to be, then just like what Heart Evangelista said, “maybe we’re really not meant to have it all.”
When it comes to living a life with a flat chest because of bilateral mastectomy, the matriarchs in our family survived breast cancer and still got to live meaningful lives until they became seniors. For our generation, only God knows our fate. 🙂
Decisions, decisions. Make them wise, make them count. This I claim, and this I pray. 🙏
Let’s backtrack to a ’90s song (I’m a ’90s kid) that became a dance hit because I am feeling sentimental this Saturday. 😌
“Teach us (Lord) to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12
After my “huhuhu waaah-ing 😭” last night because I remembered and missed Mom when I requested a copy of her death certificate online, I didn’t expect God would comfort me right away. And it was something that I can never ever dismiss – the comfort was tangible. 🙂
My husband came home to my puffy eyes last night and gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead. And when I told him I missed my Mom, he told me he received a token from a coworker because he was one of the godfathers of his coworker’s kid. He urged me to open it. But he was more excited, so he opened it himself. lol And tadaaaa, we found these inside the pouch – a box of uplifting quotations with Bible verses and hand cream. 😍
Thanks, Rod and wifey!
Oh my dear Father, what did I do to deserve this kind of love from You? Even if I failed You so many times, Your faithful love remained. 😭🙏 God already knows I will be crying over Mom last night. To pacify me, here came His surprise. Indeed, there is just no coincidence when it comes to faith.
“…for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:9
These are very simple gifts. And yet to me, they spoke volumes. They were exactly what I needed at the right time. I mean, out of all the million items that could be given away as a token, why exactly them, right?
My husband told me it looked like these gifts were all intended for me. Now, I have a new hand cream because I’m about to use up the hand and body lotion I’m using now. I’ve been doing some cleaning and washing here at home lately (please refer to my previous articles) and once again, God already knew what I needed beforehand – some pampering for ze hands. This is actually how God’s character as a Father is displayed revealing His never-ending care and provisions for His children.
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” – Matthew 6:26-27
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.” – Matthew 7:11
I never asked for these gifts. And yet God knows how to cheer me up and gave me exactly what I needed – materially and spiritually. He has always been like this to me ever since I became a born-again Christian. Maybe because God also knows how I feel deeply about everything – depression is another generational curse in the family.
This was how God saved me and how I was born again 11 years ago in the same month (you may read my testimony here and also here). Yes, I’m celebrating my 11th year this month as a born-again Christian. God’s timing and reminder are just so perfect, aren’t they?
It’s as if He was reminding me that “I sacrificed My Son for you on the Cross so you can be saved 11 years ago. So now Tin, stop moping around and stay focused on the task I laid out for you.” 😀 Ah yes, being born again is still the best milestone by far – nothing compares. ♥️
But wait, there’s more. When I opened the box, this was the message I saw – again, this was exactly the reminder that I needed last night. 😭
God is our Great Comforter, indeed. I can post a lot of Bible verses here that will show how He is close to the brokenhearted and how those who mourn will be comforted when they seek His Name.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.” – Psalms 34:18-19
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4
And yet the one I will post below speaks most to me and on what He wanted me to do:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
As they say, you will never feel what other people are feeling if you’ve never been in their shoes. When God allows us to experience pain and loss, it’s not to punish us or make us miserable. It is so that we can share His greatness with others and how in the midst of our pain God moved in amazing ways. This is how we testify to the world that He is real and that those who believe in Him may die but will never perish (eternal inheritance).
Every single time, God never failed to remind me that He is always with us and will always be with us because He is the Alpha and the Omega – the beginning and the end. Everything may seem bleak and dark to most of us now, but as what God has promised, there is a “positivefuture” ahead of us, and He is already leading us there. We need not be afraid because we are not alone. ❤️🙏
A preparation for the Great Work up ahead. 🙏
P.S. What happened last night wasn’t a coincidence, and I know I am not writing this article a few days before Holy Week for no reason. When God moves, we can expect that it will be miraculous and marvelous. What God requires from us though in return is our authentic faith – one that honors Him in our highs and in our lows just like what this blog of mine is all about. 🙏
From My YouVersion Bible AppDaily Prayer & Devotion
After ze husband’s exam last Monday, the waiting game still continues because the result will be released 2-6 weeks after the exam. 😃 I already declined several job invitations and writing projects because I don’t have my laptop and other work equipment with me. So yes, I am desperate to go back home. But I have faith that God will continue to open more opportunities.
By the way, I work as a freelance writer but I’m planning on going full time once I get back home and as soon as I’m comfortably settled in. My past 2 years involved a lot of major life transitions so this year will still be part of my adjustment phase. When I came to Manila last December, I wasn’t planning on staying long. But, as we all know it, God’s timeline is different than mine.
Ah yes, if there is one thing that is consistent in life, it’s waiting. For someone like me who is impatient, waiting has been one of my challenging waterloos. And yet, impatience also taught me the greatest lessons in life.
One of these lessons is to learn and master the art of proactive waiting. Here are a couple of great reads I found on the internet, and I also included some key takeaways from each article:
“He would therefore be wise to take this coasting time to charge his batteries, in readiness for his huge and imminent life shift. He will be far more effective if rested. He will be better equipped to process all of the new coming into his life if rested, so it’s wise to treat and consider this coasting phase as a gift, rather than a frustrating annoyance. Change your thinking, change your reality.”
[They say the sweetest fruit is the one ripened from the tree, not something that was forced to bloom. There are things and people worth waiting for. This quote from Charles Stanley is appropriate: “our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object or person we’re waiting for.”]
It looks like my period of waiting while here in Manila was planned by God all along in preparation for what I am set to do once I get back to Bicol. First is to take this time to rest because when I’m in Bicol, I tend to multitask nonstop my body can’t keep up. The second is to realign my plans according to the new decisions I will be making.
Thank God For Free Online Courses
Learning is also part of these preparations. I am extremely grateful for all of these free e-learning opportunities/online courses offered by LinkedIn Learning, the University of the Philippines Open University, and Harvard University.
I am hoping that these online courses will somehow prepare me and give me an idea of what to expect as far as business management is concerned. A couple of years ago, I took up an online course on Social Entrepreneurship offered by UPOU. I must say that I absolutely enjoyed my learning experience. The requirements to pass the course included actively participating in online class discussions and submitting a business plan by the end of the course that will be peer-reviewed by your classmates.
I mentioned in my previous articles that I’m planning to pursue a graduate study in management or agribusiness in Bicol. But, I am having second thoughts because you guessed that right – the course syllabus might include any subject related to Math, Statistics, and computing. If this is the case, then I know I have a high chance of failing the course, especially if the Math subject is a pre-requisite. Oh Math, just love me, please. Pretty please. 😭😅
Why, Oh Why, BU?
By the way, I’m just going to share a little side story to support the previous paragraph. I actually failed to pass the Bicol University College Entrance Test (BUCET) back in 2002. lol It’s a good thing I passed the University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT) and was blessed enough to get in as a scholar at UP Diliman. Because if I didn’t, then my 3rd choice was the University of Sto. Tomas (UST) since I qualified under their BS Nursing program. So yes, I need to prepare and overcome this fear of failing BU’s entrance test again because this time it will be graduate study, which means meeting a higher set of standards to qualify as a graduate student.
LinkedIn Learning
Thanks as well to LinkedIn because I received another offer to claim 1 month of free access to LinkedIn Learning. My first free access was back in 2017. I was able to take a couple of free online courses related to my job at that time. They came in timely as I was just building my online portfolio back then including this blog. You can check out the LinkedIn Learning courses being offered through this link if you have a premium account:
Speaking of this blog, I made it a habit to write here when the schedule permits and even if there were times when I’m feeling meh to write anything. This blog not only serves as my online portfolio and my online journal about faith, but I also get to review my written work and see if there were improvements or if I keep on making the same writing mistakes again and again.
Always Learning, But Getting Better
This reminds me to edit my previous articles, especially those that were written before I started my professional writing stint. These were the articles published from the year I put up this blog (2013) until 2017. Because some of the articles were just drafts and since I’m impatient, I just published them right away without editing them. And these are also the articles that make me cringe now when I read them again. They kind of make you wish you’d vanish into thin air because of embarrassment. lol That’s how sloppy I was as a writer back then.
But all thanks to my editors (I had a lot of editors since I was working as a freelancer), I was able to hone my writing skills and improve my craft through their constructive feedback and coaching sessions. I also made it a habit to write regularly and read often to improve my vocabulary. It’s easier to express your thoughts when you have a wide vocabulary. Being a “logophile” does have an advantage.
As for the free online courses offered by Harvard University, I’m saving the best for last. I still have to negotiate with my imposter syndrome if we can make it and pass the courses. lol Because well, it’s Harvard. Hopefully, these courses will be available until the rest of the year because I am now enrolled in another UPOU MODeL online class, which will run from March 18 – April 12. My LinkedIn Learning free access will also end this month so I need to study as many online courses as I can. If you want to check out what are the free online courses offered by Harvard University, you can check out the link below:
Indeed, when we wait, we get the best of everything when the right time finally comes. And God will provide what we need as we wait including the opportunities to help us prepare and keep us focused on the goal. This applies to relationships as well. It’s as if God was saying to me, “I’ve got you these opportunities, Tin, to keep you from being bored and frustrated while waiting. So, stop whining already that waiting is terribly excruciating.” 😁
We will get there in God’s perfect time. Hold on, calm your heart, keep on trusting, and remain steadfast. I feel you. ♥️
And continue PRAYING. 🙏
“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11
This year, God is telling me to prioritize my health above anything else. And once again, God never fails to provide when you ask.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7
My KonsultaMD activation came just in time for the celebration of International Women’s Day yesterday. Ah yes, thank You, Lord, for this wonderful gift. 🙏
And yes, it’s really a blessing because I got 3 months’ worth of free access including 1 video and unlimited voice consultations with a general practitioner/specialist. Super awesome, right? I can’t wait to ask the doctor every question I could think of like, “Doc, as a man of Science, do you think the air there in Nibiru is toxic to humans?” Or how salty is salty? Or why is cancer called “cancer”? Can’t we call it “Scorpio” or “Capricorn”? Or how about “Taurus”? 😂
Most likely the doctor will red-tag me as the worst patient ever in human history. lol And the next time I consult with the doctor, he/she is going to tell me to stop pestering him/her with all this nonsense. But I already prepared an answer for that, too: “Oh I am terribly sorry, Doc. I thought you’re an AI Doctor.” 😆
Okay now, let’s skip the jokes lest the doctors who get to read this block me on the app forever. Going back to KonsultaMD, if you’re wondering how I got the free access, it’s included in the new Singlife health insurance I purchased through the GCash app. For the past weeks, I’ve been researching and comparing the differences between HMOs (Health Maintenance Organizations), health insurance, and VUL (Variable Universal Life) insurance. We all know that getting sick can be quite expensive, and we don’t want to spend all our life savings on hospital bills and medications.
I was doing my research on insurance the past weeks, thus, the WordPress hibernation. Another reason for my absence is that I have to limit my digital footprint as part of my preparations for yet another task. So this means I’ll be setting the visibility of this blog to “private” after a few weeks. But I’ll change it to “public” again when the time is right (because I just love my WordPress community). I was also busy “scrounging” the internet for any free medical services that I could find so I can share them with the breast cancer support groups on Facebook.
The number of breast cancer warriors who do not have the means to get their medical checkups is still increasing. My heart bleeds for these women. Sometimes I can’t help but cry because some of them are too sick and have been suffering from severe pain for a long time already because they don’t even have enough money for their basic needs.
But how do I help them? I feel like I only have 5 barley loaves and fishes and there are thousands to feed (Matthew 14:17-19). Day and night, every time I see a post asking for help where to get free medical consultations, lab tests, medicines, etc., I would pray to God to give me the resources to help them.
And God answered – I came across these free events and lectures (thanks, Doc Emmeline!) on social media. I am also praying for opportunities to accompany some of the women in the group especially those who are alone, are too weak to go to nearby hospitals, are too scared, are at a total loss for what to do and where to start, or don’t have enough money to pay for transportation expenses.
Unfortunately, this will have to wait because I’m currently busy helping my husband prepare for his exam this coming Monday. I am praying he will pass the exam so he can achieve his dream of working abroad. I am so happy to see how God is working in my husband’s life right now. It also motivates me to trust God even more. After sending him off, I hope I can devote some of my time doing volunteer work for breast cancer warriors back home.
Why Singlife?
I discovered Singlife through Globe’s GCash app back in 2020 when the Covid-19 pandemic started. I wasn’t able to activate the free health insurance though which covered illnesses like Covid-19 and dengue because I didn’t need it at that time. But after what happened to Mom, I thought that now was the perfect time to explore what Singlife has to offer.
I chose Singlife because it’s a low-risk investment, and yet offers higher coverage compared to HMOs (up to 100-120k only). But it is best to use the HMOs during medical emergencies. A lot of my friends tried to convince me to get a Sun Life insurance a few years ago (and until now), but I told them I’ll hold off getting one for now.
I guess these are the advantages of delayed gratification – you get to wait for a service or product to improve after some time, maximize the benefits later on, and get your money’s worth because there are now better options. My other reason for not getting Sun Life insurance is that my husband and I do not have kids. We don’t have beneficiaries in other words.
I am also apprehensive about getting one after what happened to previous insurance companies that went bankrupt, and policyholders weren’t able to get their invested funds back. Now that the US is heading toward another economic recession, I am unsure how these insurance companies will protect their policyholders’ funds that were invested in stocks and other volatile investments given the global economic outlook in the coming years.
Sun Life’s VUL insurances are a bit of a high-risk investment for me. Though I am considering getting their Business Owner Insurance Package later on God willing. I’m assuming this is one of their new insurance plans so this means conducting due diligence on my end and assessing how our family’s business could benefit from this insurance package. I’m considering it as another option that will add an extra layer of protection (buffer funds) to help sustain the business and recover in case of an economic collapse. Agripreneurs, by the way, can insure their businesses through the Philippine Crop Insurance Corporation under the Department of Agriculture.
As for Singlife, it offers more flexibility when it comes to monthly premiums. I tried the 100-in-1 Medical Plan, and I am looking into buying another plan (Cash for Medical Costs), which offers a higher monthly premium to increase my insurance coverage. But I’ll wait until the free KonsultaMD subscription of my first Singlife plan ends so it won’t overlap with the new plan.
My only prayer now is to find a way to share these unlimited consultations with some of the women in the BC support groups. How I wish I was allowed to schedule a doctor’s appointment on their behalf using my account. So my next task is to explore these opportunities and continue to look for more of them. As they say, when a door won’t open after you knocked, break it down. I’m kidding. We just keep on looking for more doors to open.
I am planning to share all about Singlife on social media because I believe this will help reduce the number of patients trying to avail the free medical services offered by public hospitals. Those who can afford to pay the monthly premiums offered by Singlife can choose a plan that fits their budget. The benefit of having one is that policyholders get to skip long lines and long waiting times to schedule laboratory tests and initial medical consultations (thru KonsultaMD) aside from the cash benefit that they can claim upon diagnosis of an illness and during hospitalization.
I am praying though that more doctors will sign up at KonsultaMD. We can expect more inquiries coming in and possibly more health insurance applications and medical consultations once I share this on social media. I also noticed there is 0-1 doctor only listed under some specializations. I hope there are still more doctors who can accommodate consultations via KonsultaMD in their schedules. Don’t worry Docs, we will try to ask (nonsensical) questions sparingly. ✌️
When it comes to the KonsultaMD app’s overall interface, it is very user-friendly. It is also easy to access and switch from one app feature to the other. And I love the portion of the app where they have a list of comprehensive medical checkup packages (prices included) classified according to gender, age, and illness. I find this very helpful because I plan to have my executive checkup soon though I am feeling well right now, and it’s next on my to-do list after I send off ze hubby. In summary, our best option to safeguard our assets, investments, and life savings when we get sick is to maximize what we can benefit from our HMO, health insurance, and PhilHealth.
And yes, we also never stop looking for opportunities to offer help in any way we can, especially to those who are in dire need of medical assistance. I agree with Prof. Samar Aoun, one of the speakers at the recently held webinar hosted by the European Association for Palliative Care, when she emphasized the need for reflective practice by addressing social needs (identifying the circumstances surrounding the need) and not just look into the pathological lens when it comes to understanding and dealing with patients.
To end this article, here’s my favorite quotation by Edward Everett Hale that hopefully will encourage us all to keep on doing what is good and what is best for everyone:
“I am only one, but I am one; I cannot do everything, but I can do something. What I can do I ought to do, and what I ought to do, by God’s grace, I will do.”
P.S. God’s surprises never end here. Stay tuned for my next post. 🙂
Here’s a special poem for Valentine’s Day to warm the heart wherever you may be. Happy Valentine’s Day! 🌹❤️🥰
THE NAME I LOVE
by Christine Lailani
I may not have it all, But there’s one thing I’m grateful for. At first I find it hard to trust, And just difficult to believe. It is irresistibly sweet And reminds me whose I really am. It’s the way You made me feel, Which will always hold true. And that it will never end in vain For I am truly and only Yours. There’s just no other way to put it nicely. So when I responded to the call, It was revealed for me to see. The name that I truly love Was heaven sent through an angel. An encounter that made me eager To love You like I always should.
❤️❤️❤️
“To Make You Feel My Love”
“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
I often wondered what is it with death that we are so afraid of. Maybe we’re not really afraid about dying per se, but more of how we are going to die. The topic of death has always been considered morbid and taboo. And yet all the more that we should talk about it because acceptance is always the pathway to peace.
When God placed a desire in my heart about hospices after my Mom passed away last year due to stage 4 breast cancer and the possibility of providing hospice care on our farm in the future, I asked Him to give me the means to make it happen. And it looks like I got my confirmation because He sent me a whole lot of resources and instructions to prepare for it. Or maybe this was the work of Facebook’s algorithm since I’ve been doing research on hospice care which is why I was getting similar recommendations on my newsfeed. 😀
By the way, I don’t have a personal Facebook account because I deactivated it. I have 1 dummy account though where I only have 1 friend and she’s my spiritual Mom/coach/mentor. I mainly use Facebook to stay updated with news and current events.
Here are some of the organizations I found if you need information on hospice care:
I also chanced upon the website of the National Institute on Aging, which is one of the institutes of the National Institutes of Health in the U.S. It’s a privilege to be able to subscribe to their weekly newsletters and receive free caregiving tips and resources, which are all very informative.
I cannot tell though if the fulfillment of these plans will happen in my lifetime, but this might inspire others to follow suit if they also receive the same calling. But first, let’s define hospice care.
What Is Hospice Care?
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defined it as “a program designed to provide palliative care and emotional support to the terminally ill in a home or homelike setting so that quality of life is maintained and family members may be active participants in care. It is also a facility that provides such a program.”
The hospiceproject proposal and draft for another project are currently at 30% and 20% progress rates, respectively. I still have a lot of work to do. But, all in God’s perfect time. And I cannot work on a project without listening to worship songs. It’s a must. 😉
What To Do During The Terminal Stage Of An Illness?
It is part of my preparations to always assume the worst-case scenario. This helps me prepare holistically. However, I would suggest limiting these worst-case assumptions to a minimum because they can trigger anxiety, and we don’t want that. So let’s say I am diagnosed with a terminal illness, how am I going to take it?
1. Seek For Expert OpinionRe Treatments
I’ll ask my doctor how long I have like if I opt to go through all the treatments, will I have a couple of years and if I don’t, do I have a couple of months only to live? I will also ask what is my quality of life after receiving the treatments. Will I be able to live a normal life again?
If the answer will depend on how my body will respond to the treatments, then it’s a “go.” If my body won’t be able to survive the treatments, then I’m choosing palliative care and pain management instead.
2. Plan My Next Move
I did ask God what more can I do if I only had a couple of months or years to live. Because I felt like I could only do so much in just a short span of time. And yet God’s answer was that what we might consider as small efforts now may actually have a lasting and significant impact later on.
One example is meeting another patient who is already on the verge of ending his/her life, but by talking to him/her, hope in God is restored and this person is now helping others as a result. Or it could be a student who will be inspired by my testimony, and decades from now, that kid will become the President of this country who fears God and will genuinely serve his people. It’s like God was saying that there are plenty of opportunities to touch other people’s lives that don’t really require that much effort and too much time.
3. Prepare For The Actual Battle
We never go to a battle unprepared. And we don’t prepare ourselves only, but those around us, too. It is also important to be surrounded by people who can pray for you and encourage you to keep on fighting. The church is the right community for this.
Equipping warriors with the Armor of God in every battle (Ephesians 6:11-13). JEHOVAH NISSI. 🗡️🛡️
Breast cancer support groups, in a way, provide emotional and psychological help and other information based on every patient’s journey. But, we can’t totally rely on them because most of the people in these groups are going through treatments or have a family member who is ill. When one member dies, it can pull the morale of the rest of the members down.
Because when this happens, I know the next questions that will pop into their minds are these, “Lord, am I next? When will my time come?” Questions like these, if they are what occupy the patient’s mind often, will result in depression. And in the webinars I attended, when depression hits, it affects every treatment plan, especially if the patient doesn’t want to eat and take their medications or continue the treatments.
So I actually came up with this mantra to combat depression – we do not mourn the living, we mourn the dead. We can’t be sad all the time and cry over how difficult life is as a sick person. We don’t lose heart, but we keep moving forward. As long as we still breathe, we move forward. We call this in UP as “Padayon.” ✊
4. Pray And Let God Take Control
Once I start with my treatments, I will leave the results to God. Whether I get healed or my condition worsens, I will accept what God’s will is for me. If ever I decide to push through with palliative care, then I will let nature run its own course just like the stance of Ezekiel Emanuel, an oncologist, to refuse all treatments after the age of 75. You may read more about it in the following articles:
I once asked my second sister who works as a nurse in a nursing home in Norway how she ever got used to seeing patients die. How do you care for someone without getting emotionally attached and not be sad when he/she passes away?
My sister answered that you will never get used to it. You somehow just learn to accept it. I guess we can learn from doctors, too, and how they approach every patient’s case objectively. However, this isn’t always the case like what our pastor shared in church about how one doctor cried because the patient, a member of the congregation, was all good to undergo surgery but suddenly died the next day. And they weren’t expecting it at all.
This is why I have so much respect for doctors. What they do is really not easy. Also, not all patients are the same. There are those who will use 15 minutes of the doctor’s time venting out his/her sob story but still fail to answer directly the doctor’s question of what their concern is. 😁✌️ Then there are those who are sometimes too stubborn to obey doctor’s orders (is that you, Christine? lol). And there are those who blame the doctors when results turn out differently than what they’re expecting (this is definitely not me). But, we all love and care for these patients just the same.
That is why I keep on praying to God that doctors will be given the best support system that they could ever have may it be in the form of trusted friends, a spiritual family, loving parents and siblings, a supportive partner, or awesome kids (even if they can get too rowdy sometimes). And this is also what I was hoping the hospice facility would be able to provide – whatever the dying patient wishes, it will be granted (as long as it is reasonable).
Look To Jesus For Salvation Amid Suffering
Each one of us will go through different ways of dying. Each of these deaths will have its own struggles and pain – except for those who died instantly. We will all go through these struggles before our last breath. And yet we should not be afraid.
Instead, we look up to Jesus and how He conquered death. And yet even His death did not happen in His own timeline. Only God knows when we leave this world. What really matters is what we do with this one life that we have here on Earth.
If we’ve been born again, then we only have one purpose and that is to use our lives for God’s plans and His glory. We are a living testimony of God’s grace through every pain, every sorrow, and every suffering that we encounter in this life. The book of Revelation already gave us a glimpse of what those who endured suffering will get in the end – the promise of eternal life. This is a wonderful place to look forward to because in it there will be no more pain, no more sickness, and no more death. ❤️
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:1-4
P.S. Here are some videos that I felt like God wanted me to watch as part of our preparation for the hospice project. Again, providing hospice care may or may not materialize in our lifetime, but maybe those who get to read this article might benefit from watching these videos. These videos can be emotionally heavy for some so I suggest being ready with your comfort food, favorite hobby, or a trip someplace else after watching these videos to release all the negative emotions. And don’t forget your rolls of tissue. *sniff*
“5 Things You Should Know When Someone Is Actively Dying”
This is the greatest lesson I’ve learned, so far. Thanks be to God for finding every opportunity to teach me this because I tend to be too stubborn sometimes. 😉 I got the message now, Lord, and I am obeying. 🙏
We are just too blessed to have a God who just never, ever gives up on us and will do everything so we won’t be completely destroyed. That is how much He loves us and how precious we are to Him. ❤️
Yesterday, I was able to attend a webinar entitled “Good Nutrition For Cancer Prevention” hosted by Sir Rome Rob of TryPH and the guest speakers were Dr. Katherine V. Hernandez, a medical oncologist, and Dr. Divina Cristy Redondo-Samin, a medical nutrition specialist. I would like to thank the organizers as well as the doctors for this very informative webinar. 👍👍
In the webinar, Doc Cristy cleared the misconception that organic vegetables are healthier than the regular vegetables produced and sold in the market. Not to mention that organic vegetables are more pricey. An article by Harvard Health Publishing also explained why going organic won’t really make any difference when it comes to the amount of vitamins and minerals absorbed by our bodies.
Organic Farming And Sustainable Agriculture
In light of this, I would like to include my reasons for making a proposal to my family regarding venturing into organic farming on our farm back in 2018. The detailed rationale behind my proposal is in my previous posts listed at the end of this article.
It is my primary goal to support the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals, which include combating the effects of climate change by lowering carbon emissions in agricultural production. There have been numerous studies that can also prove how organic farming can prevent land degradation and desertification.
The purpose of organic farming is not mainly to produce vegetables that contain less to zero pesticides. Organic vegetables are only the by-products of organic farming. There is still so much more that organic farming can actually offer, and this is why it is now considered the future of sustainable agriculture. The articles below were lifted from credible sources and can further expound on the scope and limitations of organic farming and sustainable agriculture.
Speaking of sustainable farming, one way to prevent nutrient loss on the farmland is to perform crop rotation or allow the land to rest for a certain period in between cropping seasons. And I didn’t know this before until I attended the seminar of one of my favorite agribusiness mentors, Sir Dodong Cacanando. I was also surprised when he said that it’s actually stated in the Bible to let the land rest in the 7th year also called “The Sabbath Year.”
“While Moses was on Mount Sinai, the Lord said to him, “Give the following instructions to the people of Israel. When you have entered the land I am giving you, the land itself must observe a Sabbath rest before the Lord every seventh year. For six years you may plant your fields and prune your vineyards and harvest your crops, but during the seventh year, the land must have a Sabbath year of complete rest. It is the Lord’s Sabbath. Do not plant your fields or prune your vineyards during that year. And don’t store away the crops that grow on their own or gather the grapes from your unpruned vines. The land must have a year of complete rest. But you may eat whatever the land produces on its own during its Sabbath. This applies to you, your male and female servants, your hired workers, and the temporary residents who live with you. Your livestock and the wild animals in your land will also be allowed to eat what the land produces.” – Leviticus 25:1-7
Aside from Sir Dodong Cacanando, I’m also an avid follower of former DA Secretary Manny Piñol. Both of them provide very insightful information regarding agriculture and agribusiness on their social media profiles. I am also very much looking forward to how the use of AI in farming mechanization will simplify complex systems that require a substantial amount of manual input.
AI is still in the beta testing stage though when it comes to integrating it into how an industry conducts its processes i.e. manufacturing, education, healthcare, etc. Speaking of AI in the healthcare industry, I believe it will revolutionize how medical services and procedures will be delivered and conducted in the future.
AI In Health Care
I also support the efforts of Doc Kath and other medical practitioners when it comes to addressing misinformation and disinformation in the health sector. Digital literacy is the gap that we have to fill in first as part of raising awareness on responsible social media use. How do we utilize technology nowadays to combat misinformation and disinformation? Like how do we teach users where to look for credible sources and how to look for the right information?
I noticed that some of the users have to be guided step by step. In the case of patients who aren’t technologically adept, the caregivers can be educated on behalf of the patient. Is it also possible to integrate an AI chatbot into the Facebook pages of the doctors that can answer questions from the patients?
These are the commonly asked questions or FAQs during consultations. Questions can also be based on Answer the Public (we use this in digital marketing to assess the current trends and demand in the market) if applicable. Or maybe utilize Google Search recommendations. The challenge here is that these questions still have to be reviewed and contextualized based on demographics i.e. the person’s age, gender, location, and other set parameters so the AI chatbot can provide accurate and relevant information to the user.
The medical secretary might have to do extra work explaining to the patients and caregivers how to use social media if they have other queries after the consultation. The answers to the FAQs will also have to be translated into Filipino. Will this help lessen the time that a doctor needs to answer the patients’ queries after the consultation? How promising are the results if we leverage the use of social media when informing patients or the general public through an AI chatbot? Because one disadvantage I’m seeing is that the patient might end up getting the wrong answer if the AI chatbot becomes a bad robot. lol
I know how frustrating it is to be asked the same questions especially if the patient already asked them before but keeps on forgetting the answers. I tend to be that kind of patient. 😁 Maybe that is why sick people are called patients because they teach doctors to be patient. lol Seriously though, what if the patient doesn’t get the answer right away because the doctor is busy (we know how tight their schedules are)? Will this increase the patient’s anxiety and result in him/her finding answers from unreliable sources instead?
The advantage of convos with an AI chatbot is that the patient can go back to the conversation at any time. This is helpful for visual learners like me. I am not an auditory learner because my mind wanders during lectures, and I am easily distracted. So I need intense concentration when listening to someone explaining.
During doctor visits, I usually record what the doctor is saying using my phone’s voice recorder. Because if I don’t, the only thing that I will remember from what the doctor said is to take enough bed rest (sleeping is my favorite hobby). 😆
Speaking of auditory learners, you might want to ask for Siri or Alexa’s help to read the articles below aloud. They are all a long read. Also, please don’t forget to tell Siri or Alexa to sound like Christine. My voice will make you sleepy, though, so nah I think it’s a bad idea.
Have a blessed weekend, everyone! ❤️
P.S. I’m writing my articles using my phone because my laptop’s in Bicol. Yes, I am challenging myself now to come up with a 1,000-word article that is ready to publish or in other words has 0-1% grammatical and spelling errors and is backed up with credible sources from the web in just 2 hours. It’s doable naman pala. Kangalay nga lang sa daliri. 😭😀 So please do correct me if you find errors in my articles – misinformation, wrong spelling/grammar, etc. I would really appreciate it. 👍👍😊
Here’s something short but sweet to start February, which is the month when everybody is smitten. 😉 You are deeply loved and cherished, my dear – with or without a special someone. ❤️
When Loving Becomes Extraordinaire
by Christine Lailani
You’re the only one who captured my heart in a way that nobody else could.
I hear your thoughts, you hear mine – a language that only we know.
Know that I will love every version of you: your young, your old, your calm, your furious, your happy, and your sad.
Because loving you is like loving an extraordinary person – my love extraordinaire.
🌹
“Can You Feel The Love Tonight”
“We love because God first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19
The Journeyman's Moments 