In a world where criticisms are casually thrown around without any regard for how they could affect a person, I learned that you don’t owe the world an apology for being you – crazy, broke, dumb, weird, or ugly. How did I manage to live in a society that constantly puts us in a box based on stereotypes? It’s my introverted personality that helped me survive the harsh realities of this world because I have learned how to detach.

Here In This World, But Not Really Here

I create my own world. This blog is part of it. When I first put up this blog in October 2012, I was aware that putting myself out there will invite both supporters and detractors. And there is a high chance that I’ll have more of the latter than the former. It then became my mantra when posting on social media to allow the audience to “take it or leave it.” If the engagement is negative, do not entertain it. They are entitled to their own opinions, and we only tap the mindsets of those who are open to different perspectives.

Social media has its advantages. But we all know how notorious it can be for setting trends that become the norm. Sadly, some of these trends are detrimental to this generation’s mental health. Self-image then became the most common victim.

For one, who set the standards that “white” and “skinny” are beautiful? Or that a “glass skin” is better than having coarse skin? To be really honest, a majority of these trends are all centered on commercialism. It’s like creating a computer virus every year so people would upgrade their antivirus software every year, too. 😃✌️

Saludo Sa Hindi Nakikiuso

I am not against commercialism or technology. Though as we all know, too much of everything is harmful. So how do you know when is too much too much? We will know when we see a pattern, a habit. A pattern is like an addiction. And a habit becomes bad when it becomes disruptive. This habit can include placing too much emphasis on something that we have convinced our minds that we can’t live without even though in reality, we can live without it.

We then become insecure if we don’t have this something. Insecurities are always associated with self-image. And self-image, nowadays, is centered on the idea that once we don’t live up to society’s standards, then we are worthless. Thus, we become an outcast. But, here’s my challenge. Why is everyone afraid of being an outcast and being set apart from this world?

Outcasts See Better Behind The Brokenness

Because I am not. I am a nerd, an antisocial, a hypocrite, a lunatic, a good-for-nothing woman – believe me, I’ve been called all the worst names you can imagine. Some people just really have a knack for emphasizing what you lack, but forgive them – this is their flaw, too. And yet here I am, loving myself even more. I’m still living a normal life – at peace and content.

This is also the reason why I prefer Bible study groups and fellowships to reunions. Because what we usually talk about during reunions is all about bragging, accomplishments, and other people’s lives. But seldom will we talk about how we’re helping one family member who is a drug addict, or how a rebellious student left the family and what we can do to bring him/her back, or how we should pray over one friend who is abusive behind closed doors.

Social media crafted this image that people must be accomplished in their professions, have the latest collection of designer bags, and post picture-perfect family portraits from their latest out-of-the-country trips. There is nothing wrong with all of these. But is that all there is to life?

While fellowships in the church are also not perfect, shared experiences are usually a combination of accomplishments (praise reports) and failures (prayer requests). You see people for who they truly are – in their highs and in their lows. It is, thus, the intention of the church to build people up (through God’s way) and not tear them down.

Fellowships are primarily grounded on creating a safe environment where you can be yourself and share your struggles without being judged. Though we have to keep in mind that our Bible study group leaders, pastors, and the entire congregation are flawed individuals, too. And yet this is how we grow spiritually together – through our flaws.

The Church Is Not Perfect

Because this is what the church is for – it is a place for broken individuals. And it is this brokenness that we all have in common that leads us to our ultimate goal – receive God’s gift of salvation so He can make us whole. It is not the temporary things and people in our lives that will complete us. They will only satisfy us for a moment. But the void in our hearts can only be filled by God. And this is why the church exists.

Actually the more that I get older, the more that I become like King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes. It’s that moment of realization where having less is better and the simpler, the happier. Our lack of something actually opens our minds to have a better appreciation and understanding of everything and to value what we have and not take it for granted.

For example, there were times when I would count the few coins remaining in my purse just to make sure I still had enough for fare to be able to get home. And this is the only money I have left. But I will still share it here. Why?

Because the experience taught me humility. Did it make me less of a person? No, but in God’s sight, I earned His favor. Should I be ashamed if I overhaul clothes every 10 years or if I eat “tuyo” every week because that is all that I can afford to eat?

No, because this season of lack means I need to rely on God, which then means my faith in Him is being stretched to the limits and I am taught to endure. Endurance refines our character so we can be ready for whatever bigger hurdle we might go through in life later on. This is actually how we should train a generation to be resilient – in lack and not in comfort.

A Better Approach Towards Life

I am not promoting a poverty mentality but I am also not supporting prosperity gospel in case you’ve heard of it. Live just right. Dream big. But, let us not lose ourselves trying to compete and attain worldly success and accumulate possessions to impress people who will get on with their lives and will soon forget us once we’re in our graves. And more importantly, may we never sell our souls to the world.

How sure are we that the wealth we’ve amassed will be put to good use by those who will take over once we’re gone? What if they will become one-day millionaires only because they’ve squandered every cent you’ve painstakingly worked hard for on worthless things? Leaving a legacy behind is not just about leaving a tangible inheritance. It’s more about imparting the best moral values that will mold the next generation’s character. Because it is a good character that overlooks flaws and celebrates what is real – an asset that never gets old through time. And which makes us pleasing in the eyes of the Lord.

Embrace Your Flaws, They Make You Unique

Speaking of physical flaws, I actually grew up being teased for having a flat and fat nose. It became a favorite joke during family reunions because most of our relatives have this very special nose, too. My aunts and uncles said we got it from our maternal grandpa. But we do love him for it and for a whole lot of other things. And I remembered how my Mom would defend us by saying that it doesn’t matter because all her kids are intelligent, anyway. haha Way to go, Mom! 💪 But really, how intelligent is intelligent? My IQ is only 120, am I included? lol Nakay polpolon man gihapon sa Math. 🤣

Yes, I am well aware of my flaws since I was young. But even until now, I never felt the urge to change a single part of myself. The beauty and skincare products I use now are just part of my skincare routine and also to look and dress the part during special occasions or meetings wherein I need to wear makeup. My only goal is to take care of what I already have and stay healthy.

The reason why I chose portrait sketching and I felt drawn to this kind of art is because I get to see all the intricate details of a person’s face. That’s why I require high-resolution photos of people I sketch because I zoom in on the details making sure I copy every single one of them from warts, pimples, wrinkles, dimples to freckles.

A Divergent And Always Will Be

I admire people who are very comfortable in their own skin and despite having flaws, still have this sense of confidence that radiates through them. These are the people who don’t care what other people think and say. Thus, they are the ones who are truly carefree. They embrace their imperfections and change only that part of themselves that does not honor God, and this is why they stand out from the rest.

They are the ones who are actually “more visible” to me than those who I always see on social media. Because they’ve invested in their character more than their physical attributes in such a way that their personalities made them a people magnet for just being authentic, humble, and real. And no, they don’t apologize for being genuinely them.

We weren’t created to please people or impress them. We were created to marvel at God’s beautiful creation and that is ourselves – appreciate what we’ve been given because God already gave us everything that we need. And God gave us these things to bring Him glory and not to please the world. ♥️

“I praise You (Lord) because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:14

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

[But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.’] – 1 Samuel 16:7

“Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important. It promises a reward in both this life and the next.” – 1 Timothy 4:8