Tag Archives: spiritual family

Protect The Soft Ones

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I thought I was already done with an article on mental health, but it looks like God is asking me to write more. The topic is no longer uncomfortable for me because the incident of attempted suicide happened a very long time ago.

And journaling about it helped me process the negative experience, which paved the way for my healing. The problems that I am going through now are also different compared to what I went through before. And being a born-again Christian now, I think, mattered greatly in how I view and deal with mental health issues as they come.

In fact, I no longer cry every time I recount the turning point of my becoming a born-again Christian. Um, no, I think I shed a tear or 2. Or maybe 4? Wait, I think, it’s 7. But it’s definitely less than 10 tears. lol 😀

Seriously though, I do take note of my crying sessions as part of my emotion regulation strategies. If the crying sessions don’t stop after 15 minutes, that means I need to do something productive that doesn’t involve too many emotions.

It has to be something that will keep my mind preoccupied. Let’s say solving a puzzle or playing an online game. Anything that taps the logical part of my brain.

I do agree with what some people say that your professional job can be a way for you to temporarily shift your focus from your sorrow or pain. Well, given that it’s not the source of your sorrow and pain. 😀

Kidding aside, we have to love our jobs because God gave them to us as a means to provide for us and our families’ needs. God often uses our jobs as a channel of blessings to other people, too. ❤

Being In Tune With Your Emotions

Emotion regulation is a challenging skill to learn. It will take a lot of time and requires discipline, self-control, patience, and different coping mechanisms to master it, especially in some cases where childhood verbal abuse was present.

Let’s say you are in the middle of a conversation, and you want to snap because somebody said something harsh to you, and in your head, you’re like, “That was rude. That comment was uncalled for. Where did that sarcastic insult come from?”

So then you start feeling irritable and angry, but emotion regulation will say, “Switch those two buttons off, pause, take a deep breath, excuse yourself from the conversation quickly, come back when you’re calmer, or just let it slide. God heard it, anyway.”

If you hear these sarcastic and rude comments often, my suggestion is to lessen your interaction with that person. Avoid situations you know will lead to a heated verbal exchange. There is always a polite way of saying “no.”

And actually, people can’t force you to stay if you leave. Their behavior is always beyond your control, and your peace of mind matters more. It is my prayer that you will be able to discern when a relationship is becoming abusive.

If these instances should persist for months to years and nothing seems to change, please seek God’s guidance if the best resort is to leave for the time being. Then, have faith and leave the changing to God. That is how we set boundaries. Although yes, this is always easier said than done.

The Bible also has something to say about emotion regulation:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

There are actually a lot more Bible verses about controlling the tongue and managing anger, which I also mentioned in the article before this. While it is God’s mandate to love our enemies, God also taught us to be discerning enough to know when a situation becomes too destructive for us that it will tempt us to commit a sin.

This is why prayer is very important. Because when we are in spiritual warfare, we need to pray and ask God through Jesus’ Name to equip us with everything that we need to win the war.

And no, fighting head-on with the enemy (confronting) won’t give you a good ending. It rarely does. In fact, it’s the other way around, and I have learned this the hard way.

But I have learned to forgive myself and forgive others. And day by day, I continue to seek God’s help to mold me, change me, and teach me what I need to learn so that when I encounter a similar situation in the future, I will respond better.

Sharing A Testimony And Being A Witness For Christ

Going back to dealing with mental health issues, the challenge really is not about remembering a bad memory. But being vulnerable enough to share my weaknesses here for the entire world to see, holding on to Scripture:

[Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”] – 2 Corinthians 12:9

And I also want to allow fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to test the spirit from which my articles are coming. Please rebuke me if necessary because, as I’ve mentioned in my previous articles, I am no theologian, and I do not have the proper training. All I was tasked to do was to share my testimony and my personal spiritual journey, and how I view God as a believer.

As it is written,

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this, you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. 

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore, they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this, we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.” – 1 John 4:1-6

I Call On God’s Mercy And Protection Over The Soft Ones

After another incident yesterday of the suicide of yet another young person (and another report, as of writing, of a student from a university in Manila who allegedly fell), I felt like I had to continue writing this article. This has been sitting in my drafts since last year. And it looked like it was meant to be written and posted this year.

I would like to cover the family with prayers of comfort and peace in this time of extreme sadness and grief…May God’s saving grace be upon them as they heal from this heartbreaking moment…My heart grieves with them…I pray that no spirit of condemnation be upon the family of the bereaved, and I am praying for the eternal rest of their child’s soul…<3

I don’t want to go into details about how I failed in my two suicide attempts before I became a born-again Christian. But there was one instance that I remembered, trying to think about how my parents would react. They were not perfect, and I can also list a couple of things where they failed as parents. I just felt they don’t deserve to experience something as tragic as this.

I read this statement in one article written by a pastor (not verbatim) to put it lightly: “If you are desperately longing to be with God, this is not a good way to meet Him.”

And yet I was also reminded that we don’t see the struggles of every person on this planet. Depression, for one, is a silent killer. It really doesn’t have a face. Some people are so good at masking it that you won’t notice the depth of heaviness they carry every single day. And nobody is exempt from it; even pastors and priests fall victim to it.

Because the enemy chooses NO ONE in particular, it chooses ANY ONE.

And this is the war that I have talked about in my previous articles. This is the battle that we are going to face now, and some people are already fighting it, me included. And this is why I entitled this article, “Protect The Soft Ones.”

I chose to use the word “soft” instead of “weak.” I think those who took their own lives were actually not weak. Because taking a life is murder, no matter who did it or to whom, even if it’s your own.

You may be emotionally soft, but you will need physical strength to be able take your own life. Otherwise, you will fail. Just like what happened to me. Because I am emotionally soft, but I am also physically weak, that is why I failed. And yet it is in my weakness that God met me. ❤

I Chose Life Through Jesus Christ

Whew, Lord, February pa lang, ang bibigat na ng pinapasulat mo sa akin. Pwede bang magsulat tungkol naman sa kung paano naiinlab ang mga langgam? Kasi lagi sila dinadamay sa mga sweet memes, Balentayms pa man din bukas.

Ah yes, “Laughter is the best medicine,” as they say. In fact, the Bible said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” – Proverbs 17:22

If you’re wondering why I get to talk about death and dying in a somewhat casual manner, it is not because I am taking it lightly, because I shouldn’t. But it’s because I came close to death that I am now no longer afraid of it, PLUS (and a very big plus), combined with Jesus, the Cross, salvation, and life in eternity, no, I think we don’t have to be afraid of death.

AND YET, I still firmly believe in promoting life – CHOOSE LIFE, LOVE LIFE.

Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10

God has given us life for a very good purpose. If I succumbed to suicide 13 years ago, then most likely I wouldn’t be able to meet my spiritual family, I wouldn’t be able to write my testimony and the saving grace of God, this blog wouldn’t have existed, and I wouldn’t have met the beautiful community of WordPress. ❤

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

I always hold on to this phrase when things don’t work out the way I expected them to, not because God answered all my prayers and solved all my problems before. But there’s always His assurance that it is only a season.

Before I continue to the mental health part, I would like to offer a short prayer first. Words have the power to start a war or calm a crowd. It either heals or it wounds. I am praying mine will be able to uplift spirits and not condemn.

Please pray with me:

Dear Lord,

We ask for your divine leading on how we are going to discuss this topic. May it not lead to desperation but instead offer a renewed sense of hope. May it bring assurances as much as it brings tears of freedom because all burdens were lifted.

Please open our minds, hearts, souls, and spirits as we receive Your wisdom in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN.

Why Mental Health Matters

I was recently doing a little bit of research on mental health because of something that my family and I just went through that brought back sad memories. And after 30 minutes of research, I was prompted to stop because I already got what I needed. It looks like the Spirit reminded me about not allowing the negative energy from what I read become the portal for whatever evil that almost was successful in making me do the unthinkable.

My search brought me though to ponder on thought-provoking questions such as:

“Where do people who died by suicide go?”

“Do believers go to heaven even if they commit suicide, such as the priests and pastors who took their own lives?”

“Do we go straight to heaven after we die?”

“Do we get new bodies in the Second Coming?”

“What kind of judgment happens during Judgment Day if, after dying, we are already judged as to who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?”

While I have found the answers to these questions, I felt like I was in no position to write them here. My recommendation would be to reach out to your church leaders, pastors, and priests to expound answers to these questions, as God equipped them in times like these. Most of our churches have emails and contact numbers, where you can send in your questions if you want to be anonymous.

Meanwhile, aside from connecting to a spiritual family and prayers, I would like to share a couple of practical tips on how to deal with mental health issues at home. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting style, yet the Bible offers some reminders on how to rear children. I pray that every parent will be guided by the Spirit in raising children because it is also a calling.

How To Win Your Child To Christ


“Fathers (and mothers), do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

I know I am in no position to share about parenthood because I have never been a parent. Well, Paul shared about love and relationships when he was actually single. 😀

My parents have a different way of raising us, too. But as I grew up, I have also learned to adopt a new parenting style should it be God’s calling for me to raise kids. Here are some of them:

1. Have Those Hard and Difficult Conversations

As parents, it is always best to become the mediator during arguments and conflicts. And only saying “that is enough” and letting them boil their anger down, and giving space and time to forget the conflict has happened, will never make the problem go away.

It’s best to follow it through by allowing both parties to talk about their grievances, and remind each child if one is shouting or the other is blaming. Come up with a list of solutions that are favorable for both sides. Make them agree with it and commit to it. List down the consequences if they won’t be able to stay consistent in keeping their promise. This is to establish accountability.

And when your child finally opens up, do not dismiss what they feel nor downplay their emotions. They need to be seen and heard, and this is very important. Let’s practice the attitude of listening with the intent of understanding, and when I say “understanding,” it should be less about our standpoint and more about where our child is coming from.

If the issue is affecting them big time, you might have to break some of the previous rules you have in place and approach from a place of love and understanding instead. I have seen families who went through the most heartbreaking tragedies, but they remained intact. I know love is a main driver of it.

2. Keep Dinner Table Conversations Light

Do you want to be grilled while you are eating your favorite pasta? I think the cheese will love it. But a person won’t. 😀 I believe we should digress from asking the usual questions, such as “How was school or work today?” and replace them instead with “Hey, what are your plans for the weekend? My ears are open for suggestions.”

Try to notice your child’s behavior if something is off, and you can attempt having a conversation with them in private, like, “Sweetheart, I noticed something is bothering you. If you want to talk about it, I want to let you know that I am here to listen, okay?” When your child is going through something, be a friend first, a parent second.

I know some parents don’t want to do this because they are afraid their children will not respect their authority afterward. But I believe that this is when your child will need you most, so it is critical to create a safe environment where they will not be criticized and reprimanded for being honest.

3. Establish Boundaries

Each of your child will have their own personalities. There are the confident ones. Then there are the shy ones. You have the joker. You have the genius. Each of them will have their own temperament. And each one will develop their own interests and influences. They will also have their own group of friends.

Boundaries will make sure that the family respects each member’s individuality. And yet, parents have the responsibility to teach their children about their identity in Jesus Christ and raise them according to Scripture.

Please, please, please avoid comparing them and avoid pitting them against one another. That is the easiest way to destroy your family. We do not destroy our families; we build them carefully and lovingly.

When a family member needs space, give it. If one family member prefers to be away from home for some time (if they are above 18 AND if they can support themselves by working part-time or being a scholar), give them that request if, after praying, God instructs you that it is really necessary.

But make sure to still check up on them every now and then. Leave it to God to do the protecting when anxiety tells you what if something bad happens to my kid while he/she is away.

4. Pray Heartfelt Prayers (Not Generic Ones)

We’ve all had those prayers when we were kids. Pretty understandable. But as kids grow older, we can slowly teach them about the art of praying. Most likely, they would want to know how to start a prayer, how to end it, what to include in their prayers, or how long or short it has to be.

If we want to amp their praying habit a little higher, or when they become young adults, we can show them how to pray for others, too. This way, it’ll be natural for them when one of their siblings needs prayers as they enter adulthood and have their own families already.

5. Offer Apologies

I really admire parents when I see them stopping a fight between their two children, wherein the parent will ask one child what his problem was, and then switch to asking the other child what is it that angered him, come up with a quick solution, and then ask them to apologize and hug after.

This scene always warms my heart. And at the same time, I also pray that when these kids grow up, they’ll still apply the same conflict resolution strategy even if their parents are no longer around. By the way, the Bible has a lot to say about apologies and forgiveness. Here are some of them:

“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” – Mark 11:25

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

Bottomline, it will always be a case-by-case basis. I pray that God will give every parent the wisdom to do His will as far as raising children is concerned.

How To Win Your Parents To Christ

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

I know the feeling of being a rebellious teen. I was one. I know the feeling of doing bad things just to offend my parents. It was a painful learning experience, but by God’s grace, it brought me to where I am now.

It taught me that no matter how bad you felt, you only have one biological family. If you are still under your parents’ care, meaning you still live with them and they provide all your needs, it is only honorable that you obey them.

No family is perfect. However, if they are the reason for your brokenness; forgive because they, too, need God’s saving grace. God is also working in them. If you need to be away from them because that is the best way for you to heal, you can still love them from a distance.

From my experience, I actually couldn’t remember exactly how my Mom talked to me again after not speaking with me for 2 years. I would come here at home, and she would give me the silent treatment as if I did not exist. I did not force her to talk to me; I just waited. Until an opportunity came wherein we were on speaking terms again.

By the way, just for context, it was my Mom who provided the funds for my graduate study, which is why her anger was valid. Though we had an agreement that once I get a job again, I will pay her back. I wasn’t able to pay her back, but I made it my responsibility to help take care of her when she was hospitalized for 2 months due to stage 4 breast cancer.

Mom wanted me to finish my graduate study asap. Unfortunately, after talking to my thesis adviser, I would have to forego getting married, getting a job, and attending to my husband’s needs if I want to finish it, as it will require I put my 100% focus on my graduate study.

I also had a realization that Special Education is not for me, so I pursued a writing career instead. By the way, only 3 graduated from our batch (there were 15 of us, if I remember it right) – it wasn’t easy. You had to make a lot of sacrifices, especially during the thesis part (individual and not group work), sacrifices that I couldn’t make at that time.

And I am very grateful for that experience, no matter how difficult. Why? It deepened the bond that I had with my Mom. We are not the type who share our personal problems with our parents. Most especially when it comes to relationships. But after the incident, I felt like the barrier was broken down, and I could share anything with my Mom.

And the timing was perfect because when I went through very rough seasons in my marriage, it was my Mom who became my number one confidante. I would call her and text her very long messages explaining what happened, and she always gives me answers and advice that give me peace and strength to move forward.

And during one incident, I was able to hear my Mom mention her having a personal relationship with Jesus, and acknowledge her need for prayers. That, to me, was the best Earthly reward for persevering even when I felt like ending my relationship with my Mom once and for all. Hearing her say that she has Jesus in her life is everything to me, and that is the only thing that matters, actually.

That’s why when my Mom passed away in 2023, even though it was very painful as it was the first death in my family, my heart was at peace because I know where she is now. To all the children out there, love your parents, and never cease praying for them.

Nothing is too broken for God. When He says that He will fix it, He will fix it. God is always working. ❤

A Prayer of Deliverance

My family and I may have our own rifts now, and I know we will go through a lot more in the future, but I have faith in God that we will overcome every single one of them by God’s grace. We always do as long as we keep God at the center of our relationships.

In the same way that God loved the church so much, I have the same love for my loved ones, and nothing can change that. I hope you cling to this hope, too, that every pain shall pass.

And even if they don’t go away right away, those many years that you have waited without seeing any results or receiving answers from your prayers, know and believe that God has already worked on so many things that it’s a definite that you won’t stay in the same situation for the rest of your life.

Again, God is good all the time. He is always in control. He is always working. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). And He is never late nor early, He will give you what you need at the right time.

So, press on and move forward. Keep moving forward, even if you have to drag yourself to get to the finish line. God is with you always. Seek professional help when necessary, and as they say, surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, not the worst.

Don’t forget the story about the footprints in the sand. When you are too weak to walk, God will lift you up and carry you, so you don’t have to walk alone. Even if you don’t know how to pray because you are just too overwhelmed, just cry out loud, “Lord, please help me.”

That is all that I ever said, that is why I am still alive now, and that is all that I will ever say, every time I am in deep waters. God rescues those who call out His name, He never fails.

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.” – Romans 10:13

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” – Romans 8:38

“We love because God first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

To end this article, please join me in covering our families with this prayer:

Dear Father,

You are the only One who knows the condition of our hearts. You see everything, You hear everything, nothing is ever hidden from You. We lift up to You every single member of our family. May You watch over each and every one of us as we go through different seasons in our lives.

Please send Your angels to guard over our homes, and even in places that we have to be. May every family stay united in defeating every enemy who will attempt to steal, kill, and destroy every beautiful promise that You have for us.

I cast out any demonic spirits that are attacking every home right now. Please shield our homes with Your mighty power as we continue to remain steadfast in our fight against evil.

I declare healing. I declare deliverance from the stronghold of the enemy. I declare peace. I declare hope. I declare joy. And most importantly, I declare love to be upon Your precious children.

May Your light shine in and through us, that we may continue to do the work that You have set for us to do. Help us, Lord, to finish this race victoriously, carrying our own crosses and Your banner high, loud and proud.

This we pray in Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

P.S. The name Amos keeps on popping up everywhere lately, I think the Spirit is leading us to read the book of Amos. 🙂

“Ngisog” & God’s Powerful Reminder

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I have been praying to God for 3 days on how to write this, because just like the article before this, I will be touching on a very personal and sensitive topic. It is not my intent to ask for sympathy or validation as to why I am writing this. In fact, I waited for how many days to make sure that I am writing this not out of anger or retaliation.

The answer came – testify, but do it through the Spirit’s leading, so other families may also be ministered to, especially those who are going through and those who will go through the same ordeal. 

I will be writing this article in 3 languages – Bikol (the rant), Filipino (the processing), and English (the reminder). You may skip to “The Processing” and not read the first part because it’s a very long portion.

During “angry writing,” I use the vernacular (Bikol) because I need to focus on writing it out, helping me to process my anger before it goes out. Whereas, if I use English, I know there’s a high chance my writing will be offensive. 😀

Compared to “angry speaking,” I use English because I am not a fluent speaker. Using English gives me control and self-restraint when I am angry because I need to find the right words. And it’s the same when I use the vernacular when I am angry, they will be hurtful words because it is the language that I use often. 

That is why I think it is better to learn another language, because when you are angry, you can use that foreign language. And you won’t offend people because they won’t understand what you’re saying. lol There is also a high chance that, out of your anger, you use a different phrase because you can’t remember its exact translation. So, instead of “I hate you,” you might say “Je t’aime.” 

I think you’d get a hug and a kiss after. If that’s the case, I would love to be angry every day. lol I’m kidding. If my corny jokes make you laugh uncontrollably, that means you are my person. 😀 

Going back to why I wrote this article, I entitled it with one local word, “ngisog.” It’s a local term that means “angry.” And this will be the central theme that I’ll be working on based on these Bible verses:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

Before we continue, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guard your heart after reading because no family is perfect, no marriage is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, because no person is perfect. I am not perfect, I still sin, and I still have a great need to repent and seek God’s mercy and forgiveness.

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” – Philippians 3:12-14

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” – Romans 3:23

I am not sharing this, too, to shame anyone or bring embarrassment to my family. But to share God’s reminder that we must work together peacefully.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18

The Rant (Minsan Lang Naman)

Kun kilala na niyo ako sin awat, dire talaga ako madali mangisog…Halaba an ako pasensya pero dahil dire man kita perpekto nan maski sin-o na tawo, pag nasasagad, nangarangas…Saro man saako personalidad na dire ako mainistorya pag may mga tiripon…Pero dire man ako an tipo san tawo na pag may naimod na dire dianis pareho sin pagabuso o may-on sin nakukulugan an boot, saro ako sa mga masita suon…Dire sa nakiaram ako pero kay inpapanghawakan ko ini na Bible verse:

“Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.” – Psalm 82:3

Pareho na lang kun may kadanon ka, dire ko kaya maimod na an kadanon inmumuslak…Kay maski nano na mali san tawo, may tama na paagi sin pagsuhito para mahimo na niya sa otro an tama…Sabi ngani nira, minsan dire an mismo na pangisog an nakakulog san boot kundi an tono san imo pagsurumaton…

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Dire man ako pabor san papatrabahuon mo an kadanon na papakuskuson mo an pavement maski naguuran nyan an pandong sa ulo an plastic lang, huluson, tapos may-on sin sip-on…Dire rason dapat na di kaya bantayan an kadanon didi sa sulod kay kaipuhan sin halaba na pasensya nyan pagputitok…Kaya dire ako nangalas kun nakay sige an absent kay malain an pamati altho aram ko daghan pa iba niya na rason…Para saako, para mahimo sin saro na tawo sin mayad an kaniya trabahuon, ihatag mo kaniya an mga pangaipuhan para mahimo niya sin mayad an trabaho niya…

Saro pa, maski sin-o na tawo masusumo kun an snack mo pirmi biscuit… 😀 Kay heavy labor baga, pira man lang na gastos kun an ipamirindal mo pan para may kusog san lawas…Para saako, atamanon ta man an mga tawo na nag-aataman saato…Dire nato pag-isugan an mga tawo na nagdadanon saato sa mga bagay na dire na nato kaya mahimo…Dire dahil kay inseswelduhan, magtrabaho, bayadan, tapos na…

Maski an dire paghatag sin salary increase (nagtugot na an financier) kada taon is a form of oppression lalo pa na sige man an taas san barakalon dahil sa inflation…Dire ngani ini oppression sa mata san batas, pero sa mata san Dios oo…Lalo na kun naiimod man an gub-at nyan kadaghan san intatrabaho niya kada adlaw…Nyan inhihimo man niya intero na insusugo mo kaniya na dire siya nagdadabog o nagsisimbag saimo…

Importante man gihapon na makaigwa sin relasyon that goes beyond a leader and a subordinate sa mga inkakaputan na tawo dire dahil friendly kita, kundi para maintindihan nato sin mayad an personalidad nira, an paagi san pagtrabaho nira, nyan problema sa balay na intero ini makaapekto san kaniya performance sa trabaho…Dire lang talaga ako nakiaram kay sabi ngani sa simbahan, there can never be 2 queens in 1 kingdom…Nyan aram ko kun gaano kapagal an people management…

Wara ako sin kontrol sa mga bagay na ini nyan posible sa iba trivial lang ini na mga bagay…Pwede palagpason kumbaga…Pwede ko ngani talaga dire ini pag-intindihon kay dahil dire man ako an nagpapasweldo nyan dire ako an nagkakapot san kwarta pangpa-sweldo…Limitado an kaya ko na danon na mahatag sa kadanon para madanunan siya kaupod na doon an mga libre na bulong kay kun maski nahapdos, inkakaya niya magsulod…

O mahatagan sin diyo na kwarta lalo na kun nagipit kay dahil single mom siya, pero dire pirmi kay para may-on pa gihapon sin boundaries na dire abusuhon an imo pagdanon…Nyan kun nano na mga pagkaon na mahatag ko, intatagan ko…Dire ako nagi-expect na magpasalamat saako…Kay an ako lang na tuyo, an makadanon kay dahil naiimod ko an pangaipo maski dire saako sabihon…

Nag-uli ako didi sa sadire ko na kagustuhan…An asawa ko yadto sa Pasig kay may naimod ako na mga bagay na kaipuhan sin danon didi sa niyan pareho sin kaso sa ingod na kaupod ako sa mga akusado…Dire ako nasanay mag-ayo sin danon kay dahil may mga tawo na pag maayo ka sin danon, maski saday-saday na bagay, magub-at sa boot nira an pagkooperar saimo…

Kaso naabot sa punto na kaipuhan ko talaga sin danon lalo na sa mga bagay bagay na kaipuhan at least 2 an tawo an mahimo…Niyan kun pagalon ka na, susurumatunan ka pa sin dire dianis, bulyawan ka, o kun dire, dire ka simbagon, nyan murusutan ka maski matanos man an pakisuyo mo, kaso urgent an concern, masasagad ka talaga na makasabi ka sin dire man dianis dahil napuno ka na…An sala mo lang kay nag-ayo ka sin danon na kun tutuuson saday man lang ngani na pabor…

Sin-o an dapat na mag-call out sin irog sadi na behavior kay dahil Kristyano kami intero, intero kilala an Dios, intero nagsisimba, and hopefully intero nagbabasa san Bible?…Nyan makakamundo lang na bagan gustuhon na pirmi may kahiran na an goal pirmi may kalatigaran, bagan mao an nakahatag sin energy baga…Kay ‘pag peaceful an environment, bagan nade-depress…Dapat ada nag-abogado na lang kuta ha… 😀 Kaya dire ka talaga lugod gaganahan magdanon kay mapagal na kun ikaw na nagdanon, ikaw pa an maparaot…

Mapagalon sa totoo lang i-work out an teamwork kun irog sadi an pagurupudan niye..Intero man kamo napapagal, nano kay kaipuhan pa mag-sungit…Kun dire kaya an iba na tasks, pagiristoryahan an pagbarahin san mga himuon…Madali man lang ako kaistorya kun i-assign saako an iba na tasks kay kun dire ko kaya, sasabihon ko man…Mas gusto ko ngani na insasabihan ako kun nano dapat talaga an himuon ko, kay basta aram ko siya himuon, willing ako to do it…Pero wara na kuta mabati na malain na mga surumaton…

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

Sa luwas dianison an paimod, mao man kunta pag kaupod an pamilya, kay di man an mga sa luwas an maakudihir saimo pag nangaipuhan ka sin danon kundi an mga kapamilya nimo… Love your own, protect your own ika ngani nira….

An mga irog sadi na simple na mga dire pagkauruyon kaya ko ini palagpason…Pero an pinakamakulog saako an nangyari kan Mommy san 2023…Na imbes na magkasararo alang alang sa nag-aagaw buhay na siya, makakamundo na kami san asawa ko na nag-volunteer lang magdanon, mao pa an nasahutan na nangupit san kwarta na panggastos sa mga pangaipo ni Mommy na dire namo yuon hihimuon in the first place kay dire yuon saamo importante na kwarta kay an Dios an naghahatag suon nyan may sadire kami na ipon…

Insahutan ka na tulos dahil lang dire nag-tally an computation kay syempre pagalon ka na kaasikaso sa Mommy niyo sa pag-alaga kaniya sa ospital, minsan nakakalimutan mo diin mo nabutang an iba na resibo kay dahil nagkakaradali nan daghanon ka inhihimo at the same time…Kami san asawa ko an imod namo sa kwarta na conduits lang san blessing kami para ihatag man sa iba as danon kun may sobra…

Nyan nagi-effort ka na makiistorya kuta sin mahinahon para maayos an mga dire pagkauruyunan, naghapot ka sin mayad kun nano an update, inupudan mo san due si Mommy niyo na operahan…Pero an hinimo, binayaan ka sa OR na di mo aram kun nano an next na mangyayari after san procedure kay dire man ikaw an nakaistorya san doktor, nyan kun pwede na kamo mag-uli sin asawa mo…Kay dahil nagkadali kamo paghatod san kwarta kay an rason na dire maaram kun diin ma-cash out sin GCash o ma-withdraw…

Maski są kasagsagan san bagyo, an asawa ko an naghinguha na mag-drive na muntik na kami maaksidente kay zero visibility kay makusugon an uran…Pero dahil kaipuhan, hinimo namo maski bayaan namo didi an mga alaga nyan maski sa butnga kami sin kun nano namo na inhihimo…Makulugon sa boot na pag-abot mo sa hospital, ikaw pa an may sala kay awaton mo dinara an kwarta…Naghuhulat ka sin update man lang nano an mangyayari, an insabi san doktor, inkakaistorya mo, dire ka intitingugan…Nano an choice ko sa sitwasyon na yadto? 

Nag-decide na lang ako na mag-uli kami san asawa ko…Pag-uli namo san asawa ko, nagtawag na si Mommy nagbabaon an bp during san procedure and may possibility na mag-cardiac arrest…Katapusan na san biyahe namo inpapabalik kami sa Sor Ci…1 hour sobra an biyahe, may bagyo…

Diyo lang ini na mga halimbawa na sasabihon ko didi, daghan pa an mga irog sadi na pangyayari…Pero sabi san Dios, Siya na lang an dapat makaaram tutal naiimod man Niya intero…Kaipuhan ko lang ma-share an iba para lang sa konteksto sadi na article ko…

Nagsabi ako san ako suhestyon kun pano ini maresolba na mga challenges niyan didi pareho na lang sin pag-assign sin mga trabahuon sa kada adlaw sa kada tawo didi sa balay para intero may ambag sa mga responsibilidad nyan dire naguguguan an saro lang na tawo…Kay pag irog sadi na paragalon na, kadiyo lang na problema, nasarabog na nyan kun manlain-lain na na mga maraot na surumaton an naruluwas…Importantehon saako an open communication because it paves the way for transparency, accountability, and eventually reconciliation na fair para sa intero…

I told the truth, and I apologized because I know I also fell short in some instances, but I never got an apology in return. And it would’ve been okay. But sadly, I was the one who was pointed out as wrong; I am the one who is always wrong because I am expected to always adjust to other people’s tantrums and mood swings. And I was told that I am the one who needs therapy, without even getting to know the root cause of it all. My prayer to God is that I really would be proven wrong, because who am I to judge, anyway? I am also a sinner.

The Processing

Siguro kailangan ko nga talaga ng therapy dahil masyado akong soft, masyadong sensitive, at masyadong mahina. At alam ng Dios ‘yun. Kaya matapos pumanaw si Mommy, kinailangan ko lumayo muna sa lahat. Dumating din ang tamang pagkakataon dahil nabigyan ng opportunity ang asawa ko na mag-trabaho abroad. Hindi ako sang-ayon dito sa totoo lang dahil flawed din ang asawa ko, kaya ipinasa-Dios ko na lang ang lahat sakaling mauwi ito sa tuluyang hiwalayan namin bilang mag-asawa. 

Ito ‘yung panahon na nanirahan ako sa isang apartment sa Sorsogon City ng 2024. Ginawa ko ito para pahilumin ang mga sugat at hindi ako tuluyang kainin ng galit. Ilang buwan lang akong nanirahan doon. By mid 2024, kinailangan ko bumalik ulit dito sa Bulan dahil si Daddy ay na-diagnose ng CKD at 15% na lang ng kidneys nya ang gumagana at hindi conducive ‘yung apartment para sa bago kong online work dahil maingay kapag umaga. 

Umaasa ako na sana may nagbago…Pero wala din, ganun pa din…Masakit makita ang Daddy mo na nangangailangan na ng tutok na pag-aalaga sa edad na 85 years old…Na ‘di ko basta-basta maibigay dahil kailangan ko na ulit maghanap ng trabaho at hindi ako ang humahawak ng pension nya at ako pa sumasalo ng ibang gawain dito sa pag-alaga ng mga manok, pagong, mga pusa, at iba pang tasks kapag absent ang yaya…Ang masaklap kasi binilangan ka ng contribution mo dito sa bahay, na in the first place, wala dapat ako dito at nandoon ako sa Maynila para pagsilbihan ang asawa ko…

Pero sa gitna ng pagdadalamhati, sinabihan na naman ako ni God na, “Tin, hindi mo trabaho ang baguhin ang ibang tao at ang mga sitwasyon. Trabaho ko ‘yun. Kaso timeline ko ang masusunod, hindi yung sayo.” 😀 At ngayon, may konting idea ako kung saan nanggaling ang resentment ni Mommy and her depression, too. Na umabot sa punto na sinabihan nya ako ng “Tatanda din kayo. Ikaw na ang umunawa kasi ikaw ang mas nakakaintindi.” 

Ni-try ko Mommy pero napagod ako ng husto. Hindi ako tatagal ng ganito ng ilang taon dahil magiging tulad mo ako na pinanghawakan ang galit sa puso hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang sandali. I am so sorry, Mom. Pero may tamang panahon na sarili ko din naman isipin ko, at ito na ‘yun. At ‘yun din ang message na nakuha ko – don’t sit at a table where you are not wanted.

Asawa ko ang nagpapadala sa akin ng allowance ngayon, kahit pa mag-isa lang siya sa Maynila, kumakayod para sa aming dalawa dahil hindi na siya bumalik abroad. Hindi ako makahanap ng trabaho ulit dahil sa dami ng kailangan asikasuhin dito sa bahay, kaya madalas din ako sa kwarto para magpahinga. Kaya ngayon magpapatuloy na ulit ako sa paghanap ng trabaho dahil dasurv naman siguro ng sarili ko na sya naman pagtuunan ko ng pansin ngayon. 

Ako ang tipo ng tao na hindi nagtatanim ng galit. Kausapin mo ako pagkatapos ng away, papansinin kita. Kapag hindi, hindi rin. Napagod na rin siguro ako na ako lagi nagi-initiate kahit pareho naman may kasalanan. Kung nag-attempt ako na kausapin ka, at nilunok ko ang pride ko, at hindi ka kumibo, isa lang pahiwatig nun sa akin, hindi na ako makikipagusap saiyo at hindi ko pipilitin ang mga taong ayaw akong kausapin. 

Hindi ako actually pabor sa silent treatment dahil dinanas ko yun kay Mommy ng dalawang taon dahil hindi ko tinapos ang master’s degree ko at ikinagalit nya ‘yun ng sobra. Alam ko epekto nito bilang recipient of that attitude. Pero inintindi ko si Mommy noon na her anger was valid as a parent. Hinayaan ko na panahon ang maghilom ng sugat. At kahit masakit na hindi ka kinikibo ng mahal mo sa buhay, umuuwi pa din ako dito sa bahay tuwing bakasyon and endured it all para lang hindi maputol ang relational ties ko sa kanila.

The Reminder

All the previous trauma and unhealed parts of me came back, and I was feeling very low over the past few days. After the heated argument (where I sinned again because I cursed and said extremely hurtful words out of anger), I thought I’d go out of town just to take a breather from everything. I decided to go to SM City Sorsogon because I also have errands to do there.

When the Bulan Trans Co shuttle was about to leave, one guy at the front stood up, and he did what I wasn’t totally expecting to happen. This never happened for the entire duration that I stayed in Sorsogon City in 2024, though I took the Bulan Trans Co shuttle often.

He started preaching.

At that moment, I felt like I was about to burst into tears. Lord, Your conviction really does hit the core. You know exactly what I need at exactly the right time. And it has to be a pastor – I cannot question the authority. 

God knows there is a possibility anger, bitterness, resentment, and retaliation will get the best of me. He knows I might go through a major depression again, and this time I might not get out of it anymore. 

The pastor talked about everything that I needed to hear, and at the end of his preaching, he introduced himself as Pastor Raul from the Pentecostal Church. He and his wife are missionaries from Negros, and were sent to build a church here in Bulan. They were able to buy a property in Brgy. Somagongsong, and there’s an old house there, which they are using now as their temporary church.

The second part included the offering. I know, some of you might think, what if he is a scammer using the Word of God to get money from people? That’s how I would think of them before I was a born-again Christian. 

But this time, the conviction is different. It doesn’t matter – I got to hear the rebuke, the reminder, and God’s saving grace. I prayed that my offering would help them spread God’s Word because what they are doing is not easy, and it is very risky. 

Every Nation (the mother church of Victory Philippines) is also a missionary-sending church. The church sends missionaries abroad, although Victory is also planting churches locally. I am very glad that other local churches also never stop building churches all over the Philippines.

And the denomination doesn’t matter. What is important is that Jesus Christ is the center of the church, and they are helping more people come to know who God is through the Cross. 

After this encounter with God through Pastor Raul during my trip to Sorsogon City, I felt like the Holy Spirit convicted me with the following Bible verses. 

“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.” – Mark 9:42

“Therefore, just as the tares are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age. “The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” – Matthew 13:40-42

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” – Psalm 141:3

“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” – Deuteronomy 30:19

“Correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:25

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” – Galatians 6:1

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

To end this article, here’s my prayer that I believe will help us all navigate through complicated relationships, making sure we are aligned with what God wanted us to do through the midst of it all, because everyone is a work in progress. ❤

Dear Lord,

I humbly come before You to seek repentance for all of my sins. Please help me to forgive others the way You have forgiven me. I may be like weeping Jeremiah now, but I beg You, Lord, to spare Your people from moral decay.

May our hearts not be calloused and devoid of love because of the work of evil around and in us. Spare us from the corruption of this world. Please continue to mold us to be the salt and light of the world always.

And yet, please remind me, too, if my self-righteousness has gone too far. Help me, Lord, to defeat the attacks of the enemy, removing all lies and deception that blind us from the Truth.

May we not fail to keep on being kind to people. Even if the world dictates that kindness is a weakness because it forces us to relinquish control and risk our authority being taken for granted.

Remind us, Father, that before we are bosses, managers, supervisors, and leaders, we are human first. I pray, Father, that we may grow fearful, not of what we will face in the future, but as a sign of our reverence for You.

It pains me to see Your people suffering, and even if I suffer, too, I will rejoice because I get to share the same kind of suffering with them. And because I am secure in the fact that we will also share in this profound joy, once You come back to reign heaven and earth for all eternity.

Please give us the courage to walk away when necessary, the peace to accept things as they are, and the strength to keep moving forward. Knowing all too well that You are always in control, and that You are working, always working.

I pray for parents that they will be given the wisdom to guide their children towards responsibly creating a safe atmosphere of open communication without raising voices or resorting to bickering. And that everyone will be given a voice.

Father, please heal our unhealed traumas because of generational curses. I pray, Lord, that as Brother Bo Sanchez said, may we not give an inheritance of these generational curses to the generations after us by being emblems of what God’s love is ourselves.

May we also not laugh at the misfortune of others, but instead weep with them and comfort them. May we refrain from having any form of pride, arrogance, and superiority complex just because we are blessed with a lot of things, sharing these blessings instead with those in need.

Teach us, oh Lord, that we should never be against one another, being able to see that these are all the enemy’s attacks to cause division within a family and even in spiritual families.

Because when you are cut off from the flock, you are isolated, an easy prey. I pray for unfailing unity in the body of Christ despite the trials and persecution. May we learn to work cooperatively and collectively despite our differences, putting others before ourselves.

May You guide our hearts to never be tempted to compete with other people, especially those who are in the body of Christ, keeping in mind that we have been blessed with different spiritual gifts. And may we also appreciate those who silently work behind the scenes, so that together we can give You the utmost glory.

And lastly, may this experience be a powerful testimony and a strong reminder to me, most especially, that You are greater, and that there is always hope through our brokeness no matter how shattered and no matter how pained.

This, I pray, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN. 

“But there is no peace for the wicked,” says the LORD.” – Isaiah 48:22

“Before a downfall, the heart is haughty.” – Proverbs 18:12

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” – 2 Timothy 3:1-5

P.S. I am planning to go back to Manila by April, though I have my apprehensions because Manila is not a place that I feel God is calling me to stay for good. I am also praying for the souls I will be leaving here, Dad’s and the little souls, that they would get the TLC that they deserve (na dire pagparapahulaton kuta bag-o asikasuhon) at hindi sila mapabayaan. God is in control, and I will rest in this fact. Feeling ko tuloy isa din ako sa mga Israelites na ni-exile at nagpa-wander wander sa iba’t ibang lupain dala ng mga unfavorable circumstances sa paligid nila. Saan ba ako lulugar, Lord? Where do you want me to go, where do you want me to stay? It looks like it will always just be me and my fair warrior, Finley, na magiging kasama ko madalas kung palipat-lipat ako kung saan saan. Start na ng training nya paglabas-labas ng bahay at pag-commute kasi mahilig si Meowmy nya mag-commute. 😀 And I think I left my heart in Mayon (sino ba hindi mabibighani kay Mayon) simula nang nag-ATV kami doon last May, kasi bakit ba ramdam na ramdam nya pinagdadaanan ko at nag-ashfall sya kanina nang malakas habang sinusulat ko itong article na ito. Always praying for every Albayano who will be affected. ❤

Naging Dora The Explorer by force para makapag-isip isip ng mag-isa. lol
Ang ganda na ng Sabang Park sa Bulan. The cottage is free, malinis ang paligid, at Php5.00 lang ang entrance fee. Thank you, LGU Bulan. ❤
Selfie with the boats.
Need namin makalanghap ng sariwang hanging dagat dahil pareho kami may allergic rhinitis ni Finley. 😀
Settled in comfortably during his quick, first gala with Meowmy. 🙂
My Finley Bear enjoying his new playpen at home, all thanks to his Dad. ❤

P.P.S. As an introvert, I fit the category of writers who are recluses. Though I do have a very warm personality during social interactions. I even talk to plants and animals, and I prefer talking to them because it’s less stressful. lol So when I am not outdoors, and I am in my room and not working, it is not because I am harboring anger, playing victim (we are victors in Christ Jesus), or being a drama queen. I am actually enjoying my solitude doing the things I love, which include writing, reading articles online (mostly about faith), playing with Finley, resting, and praying. I think I deserve to be who I am without having to explain myself as to why and how I do things. ❤

My thoughts exactly. lol

Beyond Labels: Securing My Identity In Jesus Christ

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This is a topic I have long wanted to include on my blog. But due to its sensitivity, I thought I’d wait for the right time instead. It looks like this is now the right time to post it. With everything that is happening around us lately, it wouldn’t be a surprise if there is a growing anxiety among the general public, even among those who seem to keep it all together.

Questions such as whether the economy will take a complete downturn in the coming years, or whether climate change effects can be abated or not, are taking center stage in almost every news outlet. Death tolls continue to rise in every part of the world, and not to mention the geopolitical tensions that never seem to end.

We don’t have to be reminded about the ongoing political clamor, religious persecution, inflation, and employment layoffs, which add up to the instability that the world is going through now. It’s no wonder mental health issues also increased in every age group – labels that now seem to define who we are.

Depression, for one, has had a significant increase over the last decade or two, according to a study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research. In the US, for example, research showed mental health issues are prevalent among young adults. While some of the causes include environmental factors, we also cannot dismiss those who are genetically predisposed to have these mental illnesses, such as Bipolar Disorder.

A Testimony of Grace In The Midst of Depression

This article will be coming from the perspective of an undiagnosed individual. I have experienced depression, but I just can’t say if it’s Single Episode Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Situational Depression. By the way, just for context, and I don’t share this often, but since this article will be a testimony of some sort, I’ll mention briefly how I’ve had two suicide attempts (both failed) before I became a born-again Christian.

I won’t delve into details because, as I have learned in the past seminars I attended in church, when you share a testimony, keep the bad part short and the salvation part longer – God has to take the spotlight and not the enemy. 🙂

The second attempt was what pivoted me to be born again in 2012, and why this blog was born (October 2012). After that, I still had some suicidal thoughts, but they’re all just passing thoughts. In the succeeding paragraphs, I’ll be sharing the importance of salvation, being born again, conducting research on mental illnesses, looking for support, and seeking professional help.

I did not seek any professional help (I also kept it a secret from my family), though I am willing to do so if worse comes to worst. Some people are not aware that they are suffering from a mental illness, some are aware but choose not to seek medical intervention (like me), and some badly need all the support that they could get.

The last ones are mostly severe cases. And I was able to witness one, and the experience allowed me to see what goes on inside a psychiatric facility. It is heart-wrenching. That is the only word I will use to describe it. I am praying God will provide more opportunities to help those who are afflicted by severe mental health problems, from more psychiatrists, more support for the family, to more accessible and affordable health care benefits.

Going back to what I experienced, I will describe the season as if you were in a dark pit. It is as if the darkness around you is drowning you, you can’t breathe, and you just can’t see any way out. There is this deep heaviness inside you that doesn’t seem to go away, no matter how positive you try to be. And there are just so many extreme emotions going on inside of you.

My Journey To Becoming Born-Again

When I was just a newbie born-again Christian, every time I looked back on that experience, I would cry uncontrollably. I guess it is the overwhelming feeling of being saved when you thought all hopes were lost. ‘Yung feeling na hindi pa pala katapusan ng lahat, meron pa palang paraan. And I found that hope when I got to know who Jesus Christ is. It was like all the burden I carried was lifted, and I just started looking at things from a different perspective.

This last one is the ultimate game changer. Because when you start to see yourself as part of a bigger picture, you realize that your problems aren’t really as big as they seem. They are just part of a master plan necessary to mold you into becoming more like Jesus Christ. While knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior didn’t diminish all my problems, and I still have problems 13 years after being saved, I now seem to have this boldness of spirit to move forward, which I know did not come from my own strength.

So where did it come from? I’ll tell you a bit of the process of being born again, but this will be from the church that helped me with my spiritual journey. I’m not sure if the process is different or the same for other churches. I’ve had my water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit at Victory Katipunan. It isn’t a one-day event; that is why your patience will be tested throughout the process, but it will make you realize how badly you need a personal relationship with the Lord.

(You may read more about my experience here: “Lordship: The Life After.”)

During the baptism of the Holy Spirit, one pastor laid his hands on me during the intercession. And I think that’s the time that my spiritual gift was awakened, which gave birth to this blog. I have always been passionate about writing. There is something about written words that I absolutely love.

Putting My Spiritual Gift To Good Use

I was gifted with the ability to see connections and patterns, most especially in words. As a professional, I use this skill to organize, analyze, set up systems, create written content, and perform tasks that require deep mental focus. I think my love for words is one of the main reasons why I passed UPCAT and got in at UP Diliman, because I got very high scores in the English tests (around 96%), even if I failed horribly in Math (like 70% or lower :-D), and got average scores in Science, Filipino, and History. Thank you, UP Diliman, for giving me a chance to be an Iskolar ng Bayan. ❤

There’s actually one incident wherein I wasn’t hired for a job position that I applied for, and the friend who referred me and actually worked in that company wasn’t promoted because I aced the English exam during my pre-employment assessment. They thought my friend gave me a cheat sheet, which wasn’t true.

I just have this fascination with written words, and my brain seems to remember highfalutin words even if I read them only once. Though the downside is that I don’t often remember the context where they were used, so my common error back then (before there was Google) was misused words in a sentence. I still commit that mistake until now, when I am feeling too lazy to search for the meaning of the word on the internet. 😀

This blog did not just pave the way for my spiritual gift, but it also helped me manage my depression. It became my online journal, and I get to process my emotions and give all my experiences an afterthought here. I think this is very important when it comes to self-regulation.

8 Practical Tips To Improve Your Mood

I have found the following tips very helpful if you want to boost your mood. The internet has a lot of them, actually, but these are what work for me, and I am praying they will help you, too, one way or another.

1. Read Your Bible And Pray Every Day

For an introvert like me, I love isolation, and being in a room all day long is normal for me. But this is also where danger comes in. The moment I am alone with my thoughts, the enemy will start to infiltrate them with all sorts of negative thoughts. My defense for this is the Word of God.

It is best if you set aside time reading the Scripture upon waking up and before going to bed. I prefer the bedtime Bible reading because everything is quiet. In the morning, I read daily devotionals like Our Daily Bread and YouVersion Daily Devotional, and watch the Morning Worship and Prayer of Victory Philippines on YouTube.

And don’t forget to make praying a daily habit. In fact, prayer must be your number one weapon during spiritual warfare. My favorite line is this: “No weapon formed against me by the enemy shall prosper, by the name and by the blood of Jesus Christ.” Say it again and again and again when you are having self-destructive thoughts.

2. Connect With Nature

You just have to love Mr. Sun for that much-needed Vitamin D. Go out and spend a lot of time outdoors surrounded by nature, and marvel at God’s wonderful creations. Walking also has a lot of benefits according to medical experts. It increases your dopamine, it helps you burn calories, it slows down aging, and the list just goes on and on.

3. The More Hobbies, The Better

Introverts and empaths are prone to depression because of isolation. They are also more likely to see things in retrospect and internalize everything. Having a lot of hobbies will help refocus from inward to outward. Plus, you get to learn a new skill, which might come in handy for future tasks that God will ask you to do. I have a very wide range of hobbies because I love learning, so I am always trying new experiences, good ones.

4. Listen To Worship Songs And Sing Along

Even if you don’t know how to sing, I suggest memorizing a couple of worship songs by heart. I find them very helpful when I am in a difficult situation, and I can’t seem to get out of it asap. I hum silently, and if it is okay to sing, I sing aloud. It really does change my mood, especially when I am feeling angry, nervous, fearful, or anxious.

5. Eat Healthy

I admit I don’t eat healthy sometimes. If I am seeing a doctor regularly, I’d definitely get a good spanking, I mean, a long lecture on the importance of eating healthy. 😀 I do try to be intentional in eating healthy foods, that’s why I have been experimenting with growing my own vegetables in our garden, and also for sustainability purposes.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t maximize the harvests because most of them died during the onslaught of several typhoons last year. I also found out that the soil in our garden is not suitable for growing vegetables since its composition is more clay than loam. I plan to adopt new planting methods and strategies for the new batch (hopefully this summer) to keep them alive, God willing, until harvest time.

6. Learn Your Triggers

Take note of what triggers you to have a meltdown or be in a depressive state. There are so many triggers around you, and most of them are out of your control, so try to avoid them if you can. If you can’t, then try coming up with a plan such as setting boundaries, learning to say “no,” doing social media fasting, or learning techniques to relax and destress while you are in a difficult situation.

Try to keep your mind off what triggers you by shifting your focus to what you will learn from the experience. As our church leaders would say, the best question to ask during difficult moments is this: “What is God trying to teach me in this season?”

7. Identify The Right Support Group

I know I will be biased if I say that you have to choose the people with whom you share your problems. For me, being part of a Bible study group connected me to spiritual mentors and coaches who can pray for me and, at the same time, I get to learn from their experiences and study the word of God, too, in a safe setting.

Although every Bible study group will be different, and all the members are flawed individuals, healing and seeking God’s grace, too. In my opinion, the best way to cope with depression is a combination of spiritual support and medical help, especially for severe cases. Try to make a self-assessment of whether your depression will go away or not, just by doing the tips I have mentioned above, or if you need more support or extra help professionally.

8. Self-Awareness Is Key

Depression doesn’t have a face. Sometimes the smiling person who seems to be so carefree is actually the one who is 90% convinced that suicide is the only way out, compared to a person with a glum look, but still manages to do regular tasks like a normal person. There is such a thing as high-functioning depression, by the way, although it is not a clinical diagnosis (officially). After being born again, I became pro-life – every life now matters to me. Regardless if it’s as small as an ant or as huge as a century-old tree.

Salvation made me appreciate life more.

I guess this is what it means to be empowered by the Holy Spirit – a total paradigm shift devoid of any labels. While the world defines empowerment as confidence and loud, I believe there is also such a thing as quiet empowerment. This, I think, is how the Holy Spirit works in us and what empowerment looks like under a spiritual lens.

It is not loud, but it is bold. It may not be fluent, but it is intentional. It may have hesitations, but it still moves forward. It isn’t all-knowing, but carries Godly wisdom. And this is how we secure our identities in Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

I am closing this article with a video from yesterday’s Morning Worship and Prayer led by one of the pastors (Pastor Christian Flores) from Victory Katipunan, where I had my “baby steps” as a born-again Christian. This church will always hold a very special place in my heart.

It’s not just a memorable place for me, but every person that I encountered in that church when I was attending services there played a major role in my transformation to become the person that I am now, starting from the pastors, small group leaders, spiritual mentors, co-volunteers, to other sisters and brothers in Christ. I had my altar call at the Victory Katipunan’s Singles’ Getaway in 2012, by the way.

Who knows, you might be next, too. 😉

P.S. Nami-miss ko na ang UP Diliman, kailan kaya makadalaw ulit at makasimba sa mga Victory churches doon? 😀 Also, I am not a theologian or a medical professional; please feel free to correct me if there is any misinformation in some of the details I have posted above. I will very much appreciate it. 🙂

P.P.S. After being born-again, there will be people who will test your faith, and if indeed you are now practicing what you preach. You will fail in some instances, but I pray it may not be the reason to turn your back on faith. Keep moving forward, we are all suffering the same kind of persecution. Let’s all carry our own crosses because we are all one in this suffering as we are the body of Christ. Don’t forget that Christians all over the world are praying with you in spirit. ❤

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12

“This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.” – 1 John 1: 5

“For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” – Ephesians 5:8

“You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” – Psalm 18:28

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“I praise You (Lord), for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139:14

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” – Philippians 1:6

Morning Worship & Prayer

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I was planning on hibernating here on WordPress as part of my birthday prayer and fasting this year. I felt like I had to pray for A LOT of things because this year, for me, is all about survival. But God’s message was this, “Christine, hibernate on all your other social media profiles except here. Because this is where I talk to other people through you. Leave your WordPress blog alone.” 😃

So, the wandergeselle is back on WordPress. And today’s message from Pastor Jon for the Morning Worship & Prayer reminded me why I put up this blog in the first place.

Thank You, Lord, for reminding me always. 🙏

YouVersion Bible App Daily Devo

Always On Fire

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The last day of this year’s Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting ended with such high energy – it’s dedicated to campus ministry. So expected na that the youth will still be full of energy kahit nagfa-fasting. Ang mga tanders gusto nang umuwi. 😅

Ah yes, watching the youth jump and sing their hearts out and with so much fervor during praise and worship brings back memories of mine na sobrang naka-relate ako. Kahit tahimik at mahiyain ako noon (kahit ngayon), kapag ang mga kasama mo mag-worship ay ganyan ka-energetic, mahahawa ka din talaga.

But they were among the best memories of my spiritual journey as a born-again Christian. Naalala ko dati, after ng church service, parang andami mo pang energy at kulang na lang hindi ka na uuwi at sa church ka na lang lagi.

I started my baby steps as a born-again Christian sa Victory Katipunan at ang dating Victory GT Toyota in UP Diliman. Karamihan sa churchgoers doon ay mga estudyante. I was a young professional back then pero ito lang ang mga malapit na Victory churches sa apartment namin dati kaya dito ako nagsimba. I had my 1-on-1 discipleship journey and Victory Weekend in Victory Katipunan in 2013.

Kaya kapag pakiramdam mo nanlalamig ka na sa faith, just attend a Youth Service (every Friday night ito usually). Because to be honest, we can learn a lot from the youth. They bring in new perspectives, which allow us to better understand their culture now and could be the solution to bridging the generational gap as far as discipleship is concerned.

And they have LOTS of energy. Kailangan i-channel ito para sa iba’t ibang talents like singing and dancing pero within the church community. Ganito rin kami sa Protestant church namin sa hometown ko where I attended church services when I was a kid. Merong intermission number ang youth sa kalagitnaan ng church service.

If I’m going to be a parent, I’d rather see my child being rambunctious and on fire serving the Lord through praise and worship than attending some concerts where drunkenness, illegal drugs, sex, etc. are prevalent at ang mga lyrics ng kanta either sobrang depressing or maraming mura. Kaya ang Spotify ko ngayon sinasala ko what are the songs that I should and should not include in my playlists. May iba na medyo sablay ng konti sa lyrics, but because I love the melody, pinapakinggan ko sya. But I don’t let the words get into my head.

Speaking of being on fire, I’ve been pondering on these two questions recently. Like what if someone asks me these questions, ano ba ang isasagot ko? 🙂

“Have you always been this on fire for the Lord?“

“Are you always this passionate with this Jesus thing?“

My answer sa mga tanong na ito is that, yes, I have always been on fire for the Lord. May mga times na hindi ako madalas makasimba, but my faith never became lukewarm. Lagi kasing may tugging ng Spirit to remain true sa calling at isa na dyan itong blog ko. Na kailangan ipagpatuloy ang pag-share ng Word and spiritual journey ko dito to fulfill the commitment I made when I surrendered my life to Him. Ganyan si God pagdating sa accountability, hindi mo Sya pwedeng talikuran ng ganun-ganun lang. 😃

Gaya noong isang araw, 2nd day ng prayer and fasting, I woke up with another eczema breakout – just one, right in the middle of my left hand. This one rash reappears on the same spot every time something triggers it i.e. perfumes, stress, food allergens, cold and dry environments, etc.

Noong una itong lumabas last year kung tama pagkaalala ko, na-bother ako kung ano na naman naka-trigger sa kanya. Hanggang sa nasanay na ako tignan sya every time it reappears. I’ve had eczema flare-ups since I was in college, btw. At napatawa na lang ako when I saw it again kahapon.

Because you know what it reminded me of? Para syang ‘yung scar ni Jesus sa kamay noong pinako Sya sa Cross. I mean, sa dinami-daming locations sa katawan na pwede syang lumabas, dito lang talaga sa left hand at saktong sentrong-sentro pa at nag-iisa lang sya.

At ngayon lang sa akin nag-sink in na hindi kaya God is trying to remind me something? And He had to use a visual reminder, something tangible na hindi ko basta-basta madi-dismiss. Because I am in this season yet again na God is telling me to do something that will require me to step out in even bigger faith. At ang sagot ko sa Kanya was this:

“Lord, I am unworthy. I am not equipped. I am not qualified. I don’t want to do it.”

I know God is reminding me of my worth again – in Him. Para bang itong pantal ay reminder ng Dios na, “Tin, my Son sacrificed His life for you and died on the Cross to save you from being perished. Because that is how much I love you and that is how special you are to me. I want you to continue walking the path that I have set out for you to walk on and complete the task that I want you to do. His blood was shed on your behalf so you can be a new creation – because you are worthy. And I want other people to know and experience this, too.”

I guess the calling will always remain, and it will never change regardless of the circumstances we are in. Although hindi ko talaga pwedeng takasan ang calling because Christ is in my name. Unless I read my name backwards. 😅 Kidding aside, hindi ako pwedeng tumalikod sa calling because Christ already lives in me. 🙏

As my life verse goes, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13. And I will also add that I can do all these things because aside from Christ, I also have people who can help me do the work for the Lord no matter how daunting – they are the body of Christ. ♥️

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.” – Romans 8:18

P.S. Every church has its own flaws and weaknesses because the enemy will continue to attack it. But for as long as Jesus remains to be the center of the church, be in that spiritual family. And even if you’ve gone astray, come back. 🙏

Is There A Happy Goodbye?

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For me, goodbyes are always sad. That’s why tonight, I can write the saddest lines.

Today marks my first day being separated from ze husband. While packing his things inside his luggage, I offered to make him a pretty ribbon as a marker for his luggage just like what I did with mine. But he gently declined my offer telling me that his luggage was fine just the way it is. I guess my unicorn luggage is too pretty for him. 😅

One is going out of the country, the other is going out of town.

Nope, I am not afraid to live alone. I was single for 2 years and lived alone in our old apartment in Quezon City before I met my husband. I was passionately serving God and the church during that time I haven’t given singleness much a thought. I was, in fact, enjoying it.

But as we all know it, God called me to be a wife. Eight years later, here I am living alone again as the wife of an OFW. It’s only for 2 years though. But a lot can happen in 2 years. Adjusting also doesn’t come easy as I’ve gotten used to having my husband around for 8 years.

What I am afraid of now is that I’d get too comfortable living alone given that I’m an introvert and have an affinity for solitude. I’m very comfortable being alone, but I also crave human connections every now and then.

I do love to hang out with a few closest friends and stay up late talking about shared interests. But my default social circle, whenever I am transferring homes, is the church, so connecting with Victory Sorsogon is one of my priorities when I get back home.

I still have to wait for 2 weeks though before I can pack my bags and head home. I was scheduled to have my executive checkup on the 21st and 22nd of April. I just want to make sure I am 100% healthy before I go back to my multitasking, unicorn self. 🦄

When It’s Hard To Understand, Just Trust God

I am never the type who asks the “why me” question to God when I don’t understand the circumstances around me. God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-8). Neither does God expect us to understand the circumstances around us, but He wants us to trust Him completely despite the uncertainty. And yet I can’t help but wonder why God called my husband to work in the Middle East as a nurse when wars are rampant there. Why there?

Just the day before my husband’s flight this morning, Iran initiated missile attacks against Israel. All the flights in the Middle East were canceled and flight operations were suspended, but they also resumed a couple of hours later. My heart sank after hearing the news. I couldn’t sleep well for the past few nights. Why now, Lord? But then, God reminded me about Queen Esther in the Bible and how God chose her for “such a time as this.”

Our Daily Bread Daily Devo

In between our sobs and hugs, I told my husband that we have to stand firm in our calling even if we have to make sacrifices, just like what Queen Esther did. We go where God calls us to go, and we serve those whom He has called us to serve. We may choose not to respond right away because of fear. And we can think that we were able to avoid the responsibility entirely. But the truth is, we are only delaying the calling. The calling will remain until it gets fulfilled sooner or later.

Thus, there is only one response that God requires from us – we obey. Obedience is of paramount importance to God. He measures our faith and our loyalty to Him when we follow Him even if it means our lives are at stake. Not every calling is the same, but every calling will define where we stand with God. Are we with Him or are we against Him?

YouVersion Bible Daily Devo

Different Places, But The Same God

I felt like God wanted me to see our situation now from a bigger perspective. The Middle East is comprised of deserts. Our farm, on the other hand, is comprised of wilderness. Right now, the wilderness and the desert are unfamiliar territories to me and my husband and yet God called us to step out of our comfort zones to serve in these places.

We don’t know what is waiting for us in the desert and in the wilderness. There can be abundance and growth, but there can also be lack and drought. There can be cooperation, or there can be resistance. There can be war, and there can be peace. But one thing is for sure, God is opening doors that He wants me and my husband to enter.

YouVersion Bible Daily Devo

Getting Ready For The New Season

I am beyond grateful that the provisions, guidance, and protection from God are overflowing during this season. Last Sunday, I received another job invitation aside from the ones I received in the previous months. These positions are a bit different from my previous writing jobs.

Job Invite #1
Job Invite #2

These are supervisory roles, too. And yet if God wills it I accept one of these jobs, I know God has prepared and will prepare me well to take on bigger responsibilities alongside my farm duties. All of these opportunities came just in time – I am planning to go back to the workforce, and my previous work experience as a brand journalist and my background in agribusiness will allow me to deliver what the company needs for its business.

Speaking of going back to the workforce, this is also why I need to prioritize my health before starting any job. God is giving me plenty of options to choose from to keep my health in check, and these options are getting better. One of them is the SPOT-MAS offered by The Medical City. I just need to ask my Mom’s oncologist about the difference between the SPOT-MAS and the BRCA 1/2 mutational testing.

The Medical City
Philippine Genome Center

If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while now, you would know by now that I love asking a lot of questions out of my need to learn more so I can make better and informed decisions. And I realized just recently, too, that if you ask way too many questions, sometimes you get a good laugh as an answer. 😅

When I was talking to Healthway Medical’s patient care coordinator about their executive checkup package, I asked how long will it take to finish all the tests. He answered na 7-8 hours daw. I was like, “Whuuuuut? That’s like an entire shift already. ‘Di kaya sa ospital na ang ending ko nyan sa tagal ng mga tests. Mage-extract lang ng dugo, 1 hour ang inabot. Hinimatay na pasyente dahil sa blood loss.” 😂

He laughed so hard when I told him that. I know he was just joking. The tests will only take about an hour or 2. I already got these tests before except for the treadmill stress test, so I already have an idea how they’re done. I was just curious if every clinic has its own protocol when conducting the tests.

I must commend him though for being very accommodating and patient enough in answering all of my questions. And he sure is the right person for the job because he knows how to pacify an anxious patient. I will test this again when he assists me during my executive checkup on Sunday. 😁

Praying for good results. 🙏

Yes, tonight I can write the saddest lines. But I chose not to. Because I am not Pablo Neruda. Obviously. lol How to state the obvious without being obvious? 😄

Seriously, I will remain hopeful for what is yet to come and remain faithful to what is yet to be fulfilled. For now, we continue to rise above the challenges and overcome our fears of the unknown as we answer God’s calling – even if it entails sacrifices, many or few. 🙏

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15

“The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34

“The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness;..” – 1 Samuel 26:23

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” – James 1:12

Bleeding Love: Why Women?

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This post is related to my previous post about my Facebook status update on concubinage and adultery. I posted it last March 19 and a month after it is still being shared on the newsfeed.

If I will be given the luxury of time to conduct academic research on the topic, I would gladly do so. But unfortunately, time is gold for me right now. In fact, I will be discussing my observations briefly in this article.

When I posted the status update, I must say it was more of a Spirit’s leading rather than a testimonial because my husband and I never went through the same predicament as the people who shared their experiences in the status comments. And looking at the comments, the statistics came up with 22 females and 1 male who have been victims of concubinage and adultery.

One question came up: Why women?

I cannot make an assumption or generalization that infidelity is an issue committed only by most men based on the results of that one single Facebook post. There are a lot of factors that come into play such as the idea that maybe women are more vocal about it than men. Or maybe men can move on easily than women.

Another question: Should you meddle with other people’s affairs?

There is a huge difference between meddling and providing information for someone’s benefit. I believe I have been successful with the latter and yet there is one thing that I believe is actually the exact reason why I was prompted to post it.

There are so many hearts that are bleeding because of love in what supposed to be holy matrimony – God sees it. The 22 women who have commented and those who have sent me private messages are in need of healing.

And no, I believe this is not the kind of healing where you get to hear their stories, suggest the legal actions they can undertake, and then expect them to get on with their lives. I am feeling there is something deeper than that – the kind of healing that only One person can provide.

Third question: Who will be the instrument towards that healing?

I am 33 years old with only 4 years of experience when it comes to being married. I am neither a professional counselor who went through proper training. And yet I am seeing a harvest, a huge number of it and I think the church can provide the support that these women need i.e. spiritual mentors backed by decades of experience in a marriage – a Godly one.

More specifically, mentors who are married women. A spiritual group, perhaps, where women who went through and are going through the aftermaths of infidelity will feel safe, assured, and last but not the least, loved. A group where they won’t feel left out because they’re no longer with their husbands and yet help them find themselves again through the loving grace of God.

As A Seed of Hope, An Instrument of Change

We are all being used by God every single day in school, at work, at home, and in our community as an instrument to lead people towards Christ and salvation. Just like the metaphor used in the Bible about a Christian and faith. Before a seed becomes a plant, it will go through several phases in several mediums before it will start to blossom or bear fruit. And yet God is the one who will keep it alive.

I felt like I haven’t done much of my part when I shared what are the legal actions to take in cases of concubinage or adultery. I feel that it has to be something deeper and something more than that. It is now my prayer to God to instruct me on how to lead these people towards salvation and eventually experience spiritual and inner healing without being obtrusive about faith. An opportunity where they will be the ones to seek Jesus as their Savior.

But for now, I believe we all need to be ready when the seed is due for planting. Any growing seed will need the TLC of a Gardener who will water and nourish it until it has grown its roots and been firmly planted on the ground. So no matter how harsh the elements around it are, it will and it will survive. 🙂

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” – Matthew 4:19

“…Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew 28:19-20

Always a mentee with God as the coach,

NewBlogSignature_edited_edited

P.S.

This post reminded me of a photo I took several weeks back. I needed to place all my herb plants inside our room (a la greenhouse vegetable farming) because the winds are just too strong in our balcony. My plants were having a hard time growing new leaves so here I am, the gardener, “nursing them back to good health.” 😉

How An Introvert Celebrates Christmas | Is This You?

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I am partly an introvert and partly an extrovert. But for the percentage, I am more of the former than the latter. I enjoy being alone but I don’t feel lonely. And yet, I also crave being around with people.

This article will be based on my own preferences according to my introverted self and I can’t speak for all the introverts in general.

I did mention in my previous article how to beat the holiday rush. So what is the perspective of an introvert when it comes to the holiday rush?

Introverts Be Like This Christmas

1. Introverts don’t like being in a hurry.

So even if it’s just the middle of the year, they are already planning ahead how the Christmas season will be like. While everyone is rushing, I choose to remain placid.

2. They have a “love-and-hate” relationship with crowds.

I love to shop around (if the budget will allow it) for Christmas presents and decors just to make the home presentable for the family get-together. But huge crowds can be too overwhelming. So I plan early, I shop early, too.

3. We crave for “alone time.”

I love parties but most definitely I’ll only attend one if it’s a series of parties. We just need more time to regain that lost energy entertaining and talking with lots of people.

4. The simpler, the better.

There is something about our brains that can’t stand too much chaos, too much noise, too much movement, and too many lights. I believe this is the reason why most introverts are writers. They write well in the comforts of their solitude. My motto is this: more simple, less clutter.

5. Just being cozy on a sofa beside a Christmas tree is perfect.

Reading a book or writing something is my ideal Christmas celebration. Writing about what, you might ask. Writing how introverts celebrate the Christmas, for one. 😀 Seriously though, I’d definitely be writing about faith when not having the regular chit chats with the fambam over the holidays.

So I was able to attend one Christmas party and if there will be more, I’d definitely say “no” unless it’s mandatory. But this was not the usual Christmas party and I’m glad I attended it. This was my new Bible study group’s Christmas party held at the house of one of our brothers in Christ (Thanks, John!). It was an awesome night of laughter, games, singing, guitar sessions, great food, and fellowship that began and ended with a prayer.

This was the first Christmas party I attended with my new Bible study group and I am looking forward to more milestones in my spiritual journey as I enter yet again a new season.

Thus, I pray:

“Dear Father,

Thank You for making me a part of this new spiritual family of single, engaged, and married brothers and sisters in Christ. May our fellowship bring us more wisdom from our varied experiences and display how our seasons can be a testimony in advancing Your Kingdom.

For the married couples, may we stay true to the commitment we made with You and our spouses and honor it until death does us part. For the engaged couples, may they learn from us and our experiences how it is to love like how You instructed us to love. And for the singles, may they always pursue and serve You while waiting for the season of married life.

In Jesus’ Name, AMEN.”

For now, I’d really love to go home to my province, be with my parents and siblings, and stay there for a while. Nothing is cozier than the familiar scent of old Christmas decors and Christmas songs played through old vinyl records. 😉

Happy Holidays, everyone! ❤

Never an introvert when it comes to God,

P.S. Thank you to our VG leaders, Ate Misha and Kuya PJ, for organizing this partey! ❤

How God Fills Up Your Love Tank

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This article is a summary of the events that transpired a few weeks back. Thank God for the Grace to be able to write this down despite a hectic schedule but only for the last couple of weeks. Yes, everything is all about His Grace every day. 😉

Only God Can Refill Your Love Tank Again and Again

“Farm For Profit” Seminar

Last weekend, my brother and I attended Sir Dodong Cacanando’s “Farm For Profit” seminar held at Harbest’s building in Taytay, Rizal. It was a very insightful seminar which focused on traditional and conventional ways of farming to achieve greater sustainability in agriculture. What makes this seminar very different from other agribusiness seminars is how the business processes are guided by Biblical principles.

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Sir Dodong reinforced the traditional farming method, a concept that my grandpa also lived out. They both shared similar stories about butchering a pig during special occasions, for example, or harvesting of vegetables straight from the farm for daily consumption.

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Indeed, we can only agree that the natural way of farming will still remain as the best process towards sustainable agriculture – how to maintain balance in the ecosystem and at the same time benefit from the resources that are readily available.

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In my next article, I’d like to explore deeper on sustainable agriculture and local food movement – two advocacies that I’d like to promote through the proposed family project. I also had the privilege to attend a previous online finance seminar hosted by Bro. Bo Sanchez and he also shared the same guiding principles when it comes to being good stewards of God-given provisions. Here are some of my takeaways from the said seminar:

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Daisy Reyes Salon

Last week, I also had my self-care routine and pampering time which happens once a year. 😀 Yep, that’s how seldom I visit the salon. Quite extraordinary for a woman, you might say. But yes, it’s so definitely true. That’s why I make sure, too, that it’s all worth it.

Since we recently transferred homes, I only got to explore what the neighborhood can offer just now. I found one salon near our place and it’s owned by actress Daisy Reyes. I was able to check out her salon but I was still undecided so I kept on looking for other salons.

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It was my husband who urged me to try it and I also agreed. The day before I went to the salon, I checked out the flyer they gave me previously. Voila! I saw a very familiar Bible verse stamped at the back which was what I needed for the current situation I’m in. A sign and reminder, perhaps? 😀

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Very, very timely. ❤

When I got inside the place the following day, the music being played in the background was a line-up of Christian songs and the staff was singing along with it (including me). One very memorable experience too was when they offered to share their snacks with me during their break time. I kindly refused the offer, however, they insisted so I humbly accepted it accompanied by words of gratitude. ❤

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Food and water nourishment from the awesome staff: empty plate and water bottle after. 😉

New and Great Things Up Ahead

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Thank You, Lord, for answering my prayer! ❤

New Spiritual Family

This last one was sort of a miracle for me and not a coincidence. For the last couple of weeks, I was going through extreme times of testing that I was sure at one point I’ll lose it all to the enemy. But, God intervened.

I felt the urge to attend Worship Night in a nearby church close to where we live. I have been trying to connect with a Bible study group for almost 2 months now but to no avail.

Until that Worship Night where I ended up seating beside a pretty lady (Hi, Reign!) who asked me out of the blue if I’m interested in volunteering for the music ministry as an acoustic guitarist. She went on by sharing that she normally doesn’t talk to strangers but something compelled her to do so at that time.

I was just overwhelmed when I heard her say it. Because I think she has a gift of prophecy asking me if I want to volunteer for the music ministry when I never even mentioned that I do sing and play an acoustic guitar at home. Goosebumps, anyone? 😀

I also mentioned that I was looking for a VG or Bible study group. She excitedly shared that she has a mentor who’s also married. She is also a soon-to-be bride, by the way.

So last Sunday they texted me to join their Bible study group but I could not attend unfortunately. I was all smiles, though, when I told them I’ll be joining this coming Sunday. Ah yes, God and His ways never ever fail to amaze me. 🙂

New Masterpieces

I also would like to honor in this article my brother’s father-in-law for being one of the most talented artisans I know. I understood now why we’ve all been gifted with special skills and talents that we incorporate in our professions to serve God and others as a unified body of Christ.

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A refurbished 20-year old cabinet.

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A new cabinet was installed to match an old black dresser and achieve a one whole set design.

This is the new set of additional furniture for my sister’s place and each one is a by-product of Papa Boyet’s ideas which we normally can’t imagine, thus, makes every masterpiece anw extra special work of art. I was able to witness how he crafted some of these projects and I can attest that it was indeed all done with a labor of love. 🙂

Love Tank: Replenished and Overflowing

With all these testimonies, we can surmise that they’re all God’s work which refilled my love tank in the process. I believe wecan admit that we arrive at that point where we are sucked dry by life’s never-ending demands. But God always finds a way to reassure us that His love is overflowing – He is our only source of it. How?

1. He will bring you to the right people at just the right time.

2. Those prayers you have silently prayed in between your tears, sadness, sorrow, and despair, God hears them all.

3. God brings healing through things that He knows will nourish you spiritually first and foremost.

4. He will let you see that your world doesn’t revolve on your problems alone, there is more out there in the world to explore.

5. He will remind you of His purpose why He called you (altar call) and gave you a task to fulfill.

6. He will show you that no one and nothing can separate you from His love come what may.

7. The complete trust you have given Him through the tough circumstances you’re in, He will return it in full and even more.

Sometimes sticking with our end of the deal when we got saved can be very heart-wrenching. Our still worldly selves will rely on our human efforts and human knowledge about how to endure the sacrifices we need to make. But then, with God-sent mentors, they will help us to once again walk the path that God called us to walk no matter how difficult that road is.

So that afterward, we can proclaim with conviction the following verses (they came right on time during my devotion):

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. – Psalms 9:1 NLT

Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His name. – Psalms 100:4 NLT

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. – Psalms 32:8 NLT

P.S.

I am not sure if this photo will have any bearing at all in this article. 😀 But I just want to share it to say that these filters sometimes (I seldom take selfies) do come pretty handy when you’re looking stressed and all and you want to come up with a decent photo without all the hassle of making up your face.

But with all honesty, this photo has the following false details: eyelashes, pupils, poreless skin, and eyeglasses. And no, I am not a teenager just in case this photo deceived you. I’m already near the mid-30s bracket. 😀

Ciao! ❤

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Looking Forward to Another Season: New Spiritual Family

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Today I woke up feeling decided to join a new spiritual family – the clarity of instructions is there. Yes, hubby and I transferred cities and I allotted 3-4 months for us to comfortably settle and get acquainted with the place, in commuting, and with the entire community. I spent half of my life in Quezon City and when I got married, hubby and I thought it best we relocate to a place near his workplace which is in Makati City.

I was born-again and had my baby steps in faith in Victory GT Toyota but the Spirit moved in me first in Victory Fort when my brother invited me to attend one of the church services there. Victory Fort may be near our place now but Victory Pioneer is nearer. This will be my first time to attend church services here and I am looking forward to what God has called me out in this new spiritual family.

It actually doesn’t matter in which church God has called you but for me, I personally chose to grow spiritually in the church where He called me to serve first. My home church where I attend services every time I am in my home town in the province is United Church of Christ in the Philippines – Bulan Evangelical Church. I attended services here from childhood until high school along with my siblings, parents, grandma, and relatives.

When I came here in Manila to study in college, I honestly admit that I wasn’t part of any spiritual family and this most probably explained why college days for me were a sure ride of emotional roller coaster. Not until I graduated in college and still a bit later did I find myself taking heed of the Spirit’s calling.

Since 2012 until 2016, I have been growing spiritually with my Victory Quezon City family and this year, I am all set to grow with yet another spiritual family. I am just grateful the church offers these online services wherein volunteering in a ministry and joining a bible study/fellowship group are just a click away. Ah, praise God for technology, more and more ways to advance God’s kingdom are popping up alongside the advancements in technology too.

So I’ll wrap up this article with screenshots just to give you a glimpse of the early morning activity that transpired today along with these verses:

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Volunteering in a ministry. 🙂

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Bible Study Group

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” – Romans 12:4-5

“For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.” – Ephesians 4:4-6

My prayer to you, my dearest brothers and sisters, is that may you find joy in serving the Lord and others in whichever season and in whatever niche He has called you to serve out of love for the Father who gave us a new life and out of love for others. ❤