The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
It looks like the #everyFridayblogpost is making a comeback. 😉 I am praying I can commit to the schedule though. Meanwhile, here’s a continuation of my “firsts” in Sorsogon City.
But first, I’d like to share a little bit of info about the Province of Sorsogon also known as “The Land of Kasanggayahan.”“Kasanggayahan” means prosperity, and the entire province celebrates its foundation through the Kasanggayahan Festival. It is almost a month-long celebration held from October 14 – October 28. If you’d like to know more about the activities lined up for this year’s Kasanggayahan Festival, you may check out the Facebook page of the Sorsogon Provincial Tourism, Culture, and Arts Office.
A Journey of Faith
I am documenting this new season being in a new place surrounded by new faces because I want to look back on the experience someday and see the goodness of the Lord and how He has kept His promises though I was doubtful and fearful to obey at first. My coming to live here in Sor Ci isn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision.
It was already a calling from God, which He already revealed in 2019 through this perfect rainbow (my first) that my husband and I saw in Albay en route to Manila. And along with the perfect rainbow, this was the Bible verse that God has communicated to me:
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
The Continuation
So, what are my other “firsts” in the city? I am going to start with “ukay-ukay.” lol This part of the city has lots of “ukay-ukay” shops, and it is so tempting to hoard because most of the clothes they sell are still of excellent quality. One of my favorite “ukayans” is the one located along Peralta St. near Victory Sorsogon.
Fabulous ukay finds. 👌First time ko mamalengke sa Sorsogon City public market, and it is surprisingly clean. When craving for something cold, konting lakad lang, solb na. 😃 This is located in front of Sorsogon East Central School.
First bakeshop na binilhan ko, and next on my list isto try Al Sinugba Grill House.
The next stop is not a “first” per se, but it’s the first time that I tried out the “tusok-tusok” stalls at Sorsogon City’s Rompeolas and Boulevard by myself. “Isaw manok” is my favorite, but it looks like I have a new favorite – “bopis,” which is grilled cow’s lungs. Mahilig kasi ang mga Bicolano sa salitang “baga” kaya pati baga ng baka o baboy kasama sa mga iniihaw na tusok-tusok. Iyo baga. 😅✌️
These food stalls open during the afternoon only.Tambayan everywhere.“Bopis”They also have the tastiest Calamares.This is another ihaw-ihaw stall.
Bought Betamax and Isaw Manok. 😋
Ito ang tunay kong na-miss. 🥰
Hindi po ako naglilihi pero sadyang nag-crave lang. 😅
Chasing sunsets whenever I can.
At dito lang ako sa Sor Ci nakakita ng ganitong nut na tinitinda kasama ng mga mani. I forgot what’s it called. Balikan ko nga si Kuya taga-tinda nang makabili ulit. 😃 His stall is located across DIY along De Vera Street.
The Bikol Sorsogon dialect though is so different from Bikol Bulan, which is the language that we commonly use in my hometown. The phrase “that’s right” or “iyo baga” in Bikol Sorsogon is “mao baga” in our local dialect. Ang “kanin” magkaiba din ang tawag sa amin sa Bulan at dito sa Sorsogon. Tuloy tinitigan lang ako ng tindera nang pagsabi ko, “Te, duwa tabi na kinunot nyan duwa na luto.” Gaaaaah, dirilot na ako kay hamo-hamo baga istorya ko sin Bikol. 😆 Help, please? English or Filipino na lang kaya. lol
And of course, last but not least will be my favorite – my first volunteering event at The Lewis College here in Sorsogon City organized by Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon through Victory Sorsogon. ♥️
“Every Nation Campus is the global campus ministry of Every Nation. We are a global community of students who believe that changing the world starts when we change the campus. We are committed to empowering the next generation for LIFE by teaching and imparting Leadership, Integrity, Faith, and Excellence.” – ENC Philippines
If you are a student who wants to be part of this movement, you may visit ENC’s website for more details on how to join. If you are also a young professional, you can also take part in what ENC is doing in the lives of the students by being a LIFE Coach.
Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon during the first day of classes @ The Lewis College.LIFE Coaches and MentorsThe photo before kami dinumog ng mga estudyante. 😃I wasn’t expecting to see BumbleBee on campus grounds. Sadly, he didn’t transform to an Autobot while we were there. Sigh.I may have not pursued a career as a licensed secondary education teacher, but the calling to be a teacher (and forever a student) of life remains. 🙂
The bookmark that changed my life – I’m passing it on to the next generation. 🙏
LIFE Group session led by Pastor/Doc Allan, Kuya Cois, Ma’am Mutya, and assisted by Ate Jhin, Ate Grace, and yours truly. Thank You, Lord, for the lives of the hardworking admin team behind Victory Sorsogon and Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon. 🙏
I am praying for the perfect time to study these courses, so I can share them to the two awesome ladies assigned to me to pray for who are BS Entrepreneurship freshies. 🙏
Some of the skills that the next generation needs so they will be well-equipped to address society’s future challenges.
First communion @ Victory Sorsogon.
Indeed, when God asks us to do something and we obey willingly, He follows it through and provides us with everything we need. And even if we don’t know why we have to do it and how we’re going to do it, God will reveal His provisions and purpose later on. But always, they will all be for His glory and His kingdom. 🙏🙂
YouVersion Bible App Daily Devo
YouVersion Bible App Daily Devo
“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3
“Seek God’s will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33
P.S. I am not sure if this is what will really happen, but it looks like students who will be discipled through Every Nation Campus – Sorsogon might be some of the volunteers I was praying for in some articles I wrote last year. Nothing is impossible with God, they say. And did I hear myself say, Amen? 😊
P.P.S. And all of these started because of Mom – we will be remembering and cherishing precious memories of her on her 1st death anniversary on Tuesday. 🙏
The last day of this year’s Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting ended with such high energy – it’s dedicated to campus ministry. So expected na that the youth will still be full of energy kahit nagfa-fasting. Ang mga tanders gusto nang umuwi. 😅
Ah yes, watching the youth jump and sing their hearts out and with so much fervor during praise and worship brings back memories of mine na sobrang naka-relate ako. Kahit tahimik at mahiyain ako noon (kahit ngayon), kapag ang mga kasama mo mag-worship ay ganyan ka-energetic, mahahawa ka din talaga.
But they were among the best memories of my spiritual journey as a born-again Christian. Naalala ko dati, after ng church service, parang andami mo pang energy at kulang na lang hindi ka na uuwi at sa church ka na lang lagi.
I started my baby steps as a born-again Christian sa Victory Katipunan at ang dating Victory GT Toyota in UP Diliman. Karamihan sa churchgoers doon ay mga estudyante. I was a young professional back then pero ito lang ang mga malapit na Victory churches sa apartment namin dati kaya dito ako nagsimba. I had my 1-on-1 discipleship journey and Victory Weekend in Victory Katipunan in 2013.
Kaya kapag pakiramdam mo nanlalamig ka na sa faith, just attend a Youth Service (every Friday night ito usually). Because to be honest, we can learn a lot from the youth. They bring in new perspectives, which allow us to better understand their culture now and could be the solution to bridging the generational gap as far as discipleship is concerned.
And they have LOTS of energy. Kailangan i-channel ito para sa iba’t ibang talents like singing and dancing pero within the church community. Ganito rin kami sa Protestant church namin sa hometown ko where I attended church services when I was a kid. Merong intermission number ang youth sa kalagitnaan ng church service.
If I’m going to be a parent, I’d rather see my child being rambunctious and on fire serving the Lord through praise and worship than attending some concerts where drunkenness, illegal drugs, sex, etc. are prevalent at ang mga lyrics ng kanta either sobrang depressing or maraming mura. Kaya ang Spotify ko ngayon sinasala ko what are the songs that I should and should not include in my playlists. May iba na medyo sablay ng konti sa lyrics, but because I love the melody, pinapakinggan ko sya. But I don’t let the words get into my head.
Speaking of being on fire, I’ve been pondering on these two questions recently. Like what if someone asks me these questions, ano ba ang isasagot ko? 🙂
“Have you always been this on fire for the Lord?“
“Are you always this passionate with this Jesus thing?“
My answer sa mga tanong na ito is that, yes, I have always been on fire for the Lord. May mga times na hindi ako madalas makasimba, but my faith never became lukewarm. Lagi kasing may tugging ng Spirit to remain true sa calling at isa na dyan itong blog ko. Na kailangan ipagpatuloy ang pag-share ng Word and spiritual journey ko dito to fulfill the commitment I made when I surrendered my life to Him. Ganyan si God pagdating sa accountability, hindi mo Sya pwedeng talikuran ng ganun-ganun lang. 😃
Gaya noong isang araw, 2nd day ng prayer and fasting, I woke up with another eczema breakout – just one, right in the middle of my left hand. This one rash reappears on the same spot every time something triggers it i.e. perfumes, stress, food allergens, cold and dry environments, etc.
Noong una itong lumabas last year kung tama pagkaalala ko, na-bother ako kung ano na naman naka-trigger sa kanya. Hanggang sa nasanay na ako tignan sya every time it reappears. I’ve had eczema flare-ups since I was in college, btw. At napatawa na lang ako when I saw it again kahapon.
Because you know what it reminded me of? Para syang ‘yung scar ni Jesus sa kamay noong pinako Sya sa Cross. I mean, sa dinami-daming locations sa katawan na pwede syang lumabas, dito lang talaga sa left hand at saktong sentrong-sentro pa at nag-iisa lang sya.
At ngayon lang sa akin nag-sink in na hindi kaya God is trying to remind me something? And He had to use a visual reminder, something tangible na hindi ko basta-basta madi-dismiss. Because I am in this season yet again na God is telling me to do something that will require me to step out in even bigger faith. At ang sagot ko sa Kanya was this:
“Lord, I am unworthy. I am not equipped. I am not qualified. I don’t want to do it.”
I know God is reminding me of my worthagain – in Him. Para bang itong pantal ay reminder ng Dios na, “Tin, my Son sacrificed His life for you and died on the Cross to save you from being perished. Because that is how much I love you and that is how special you are to me. I want you to continue walking the path that I have set out for you to walk on and complete the task that I want you to do. His blood was shed on your behalf so you can be a new creation – because you are worthy. And I want other people to know and experience this, too.”
I guess the calling will always remain, and it will never change regardless of the circumstances we are in. Although hindi ko talaga pwedeng takasan ang calling because Christ is in my name. Unless I read my name backwards. 😅 Kidding aside, hindi ako pwedeng tumalikod sa calling because Christ already lives in me. 🙏
As my life verse goes, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13. And I will also add that I can do all these things because aside from Christ, I also have people who can help me do the work for the Lord no matter how daunting – they are the body of Christ. ♥️
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.” – Romans 8:18
P.S. Every church has its own flaws and weaknesses because the enemy will continue to attack it. But for as long as Jesus remains to be the center of the church, be in that spiritual family. And even if you’ve gone astray, come back. 🙏
The first day of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting this year hits different. I just went through a rollercoaster of ups and downs for the past several months starting last year and for the most part, they were all very grueling. These challenges tested my endurance and refined my character (please refer to my previous posts) revealing who I really am as a person and most importantly as a daughter of Christ.
This blog is supposed to be a diary for my eyes only. It is my safe place when life gets too overwhelming, and a safe place where I can be myself. When I am sad, I write. When I am happy, I write. And yet God urged me to share it to the world.
I believe God wants this blog to be a safe place for everyone, too, regardless of race, gender, and religion. A place where readers will feel calm, at peace, grateful, joyful, and hopeful. Because we are all trying to heal from something.
And the kind of healing that God provides is something that the world cannot give. This is what I am hoping and praying my blog will be able to achieve – it will not just be a place where you get to learn a lot of things and be inspired. But it will be a place of solace that will bring peace and healing to our tired and weary souls.
Part of my journey towards healing are the questions I’ve been asking God for some time now such as why did He bring me to Sorsogon City? Why the city where Mom passed away? Why does Mom have to die there and not in the comforts of our home just like all our loved ones who have passed on before her? And why call me to this place that brings me pain and sorrow?
And the answer came. “Christine, my child, I called and brought you to this place to heal, in all aspects, because you’ve been through a lot. You will only heal when you confront your pain and not run away from it. I will use your pain so you can bring healing and comfort to those who are grieving as well. I will use your pain to bring hope to those who have lost hope. And I will use your pain to show them that though you go through the fiery furnace, you will come out unscathed and unharmed – as long as you remain in me.”
And Pastor Jojo Henson had a similar exhortation tonight during the 7pm Prayer Meeting at Victory BGC using the illustration of the burning bush that God revealed to Moses as an example.
“And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed. And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt.” – Exodus 3:2-5
Today is just the first day of prayer and fasting. But God already answered a prayer of mine – one that I’ve been praying for in the last couple of months, one that has something to do with Sorsogon City, the place where God called me to be at right now.
When we do respond to the calling, God will prepare us, provide for us, and bring us people who will be our partners in the mission field. Yes, that’s how powerful our God is. This article (and the entire blog) will testify to this and how God orchestrates everything beautifully in His own time when we do things according to His will.
I’d like to end this article by continuing to believe for more of God’s miracles unfolding one by one as I enter yet another season. Because God can be our refuge, and He is the only safe place to heal where we can truly heal. ♥️🙂
What is God asking you to heal from now? It doesn’t have to be a place in particular. I pray that you get to listen to His voice when He calls you and pray that you will respond in faith and complete obedience. 🙏
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” – John 10:27-30
Here’s a little throwback to those days when we were advised to glam up and dress to impress when meeting and interviewing business owners for our articles (one of my career highlights). These were also the days when I was chasing a lot of things, but ironically, I just didn’t know what I was really chasing. 😃
Circa 2014taken at UP Diliman for a fashion review.These are the days when I weighed 10 kgs less than I weigh now. 😀
2014
2014
2014
I became a “jack of all trades, master of none,” and yet back then, I felt like none of what I was doing made sense. I was trying different paths because I wanted to challenge myself, and I was constantly looking for the next challenge to conquer. Until came the time when I asked myself what my purpose really is, what I am doing all of these things for, and is this all there is to life? In the Bible, King Solomon also had a similar realization at one point in his life.
Circa 2013: Photo taken during my graduation pictorial’s creative shot (master’s degree in Special Education @ UP Diliman)na hindi ko natapos ang thesis because married lifechose me. 😀
2013
2013
It was when I realized that it is part of human nature to always chase something and that the chase becomes meaningless when you lack the purpose for doing it that I went down the wrong path. Nope, I did not do drugs, just in case you’re wondering. But it was on this wrong path that I found God.
Circa 2010taken in Boracay.
This will be the first and last photo of me wearing something like this that I’ll be posting here because I am now living out Romans 12:2. Even if it’s summer, you won’t see me wearing something like this in public. If God says my body is holy and sacred, then I have to treat it as such. There’s no need to flaunt to the world that God has given me a beautiful body and try to earn the world’s approval. I can still wear thongs if I want to, but only my spouse can see it.
When I was saved and became a born-again Christian in 2013, I started immersing myself in Bible reading. I was so hungry to learn more about the Bible, and then everything just made sense. Now I know why I had to meet a whole lot of different people and experience a lot of things, which I am all grateful for now. This Bible verse, in particular, changed my perspective on what a life’s purpose should be:
“Seek God’s will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6
In the past, I was looking for a specific purpose in life, like I wanted to do this and be that. It was only when I became a born-again Christian that God made me realize I got it all wrong. Because the truth is that we only have one purpose in this world – to honor and glorify God.
Everything that we do and whatever we may go through, whether it’s good or bad, is always for the purpose of glorifying God and testifying to the world that He is real and He is the one and only true God. Seeking what God wants us to do every single day from the moment we wake up and following Him where He leads us is what gives our lives meaning and purpose.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” – Proverbs 19:21
Circa 2010: I look more like a 38-year-old woman here than Sisa Girl (2024). So, maybe I really am aging backwards. I hope that doesn’t apply to my cognitive abilities. lol 😂
Only God knows His purpose for us, and it is not for us to know beforehand. Our only duty is to wait until He finally discloses to us what He wants us to do and instructs us on the way we should go. Because this is how God teaches us to have faith in Him. This is how God tests us: how far are we willing to trust Him? And this is why we have to have a deep relationship with Him.
“Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation.” – Hebrews 11:1-2
We just have to constantly communicate with God when it comes to what He wants us to do. Thus, prayers must be a constant in a Christian’s life. We can’t be Christians and never pray a single prayer in a day. This is how we communicate with God, and this is how we resist temptations when they start to distract our minds. Prayers help us focus on God’s tasks for us and realign them when we’re led astray.
I know some of you will be asking, “But how secure is our future with God?” I will answer this question with these Bible verses because I have proven them so many times in my life since the day I got saved:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
“LORD, You give me stability and prosperity; You make my future secure.” – Psalms 16:5
So now, I would like to dare you to dare God to prove to you that He is God. Are you up to the challenge? 😉 Because that’s what I did, and I can say that it was the best outcome – more than what I expected. Ah, the love of the Lord is just incomparable. 🥰
P.S. Salvation isn’t an overnight process where, after you surrender your life to Jesus, your life will be free from any troubles. It is a lifetime of sanctification – a grueling transformation where every day you subject yourself to constant discipline and self-control by saying “no” to the things that no longer honor God.
I am still struggling with a couple of weaknesses now, and I can’t claim that I have mastered controlling them. But I am glad that by God’s grace, I am no longer doing most of the bad things that I did before. Even though the enemy will remind me of my past, I can now confidently say that it is no longer my present and my future. Then, I let my mind shift its focus to the beautiful promises of God waiting for me when I obey Him and only Him. 🙏
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
This year’s Holy Week reflection was nothing I have ever experienced and done before. It was a moment of deep contemplation and fervent prayers. 🙏
It was also a week of immense joy, but insurmountable sadness. I am so happy that my husband passed the nursing licensure exam in the country where he applied to work as a nurse, but I am also sad that this also means my husband and I are separating.
The decision wasn’t easy. This is one of those moments in your life wherein you can’t sleep at night and your stomach churns every time you think about it. And yet you know that there is no other easy way to go about it but to go through it courageously, mustering all the strength you’ve got.
I am overjoyed that my husband finally gets to fulfill his dream of working abroad. God answered my husband’s prayer, and I am just completely in awe having witnessed how God orchestrated things in a manner that I can attest to as something sort of a miracle.
My husband and I are both at peace with our decision, and I only have 2 requests from him if he plans to come back to me. First, he should be a born-again Christian (went through an altar call, water baptism, baptism of the Holy Spirit, and connected to a Bible study group) in Victory church. And second, he must be ready to stay with me in my hometown for good. And starting today, these are going to be non-negotiables for me.
Even if this happens how many decades from now, I will gladly take him back. But if not, then I trust God that He has other better plans for me and my husband. We will keep the communication lines open, but what I can only offer to my husband now is friendship as a sister in Christ unless he’s able to satisfy both of the requests I mentioned above. I have my own valid reasons for asking these requests, which I will no longer explain further.
I was actually having second thoughts if I should still share this here because it is too personal. But after praying to God about it, His instruction was to share it since it is a major part of my life’s journey. Thus, it’s also a part of this blog’s journey where I testify about God’s saving grace and faithfulness in every season of my life.
Again, my husband and I are both at peace though the acceptance didn’t come right away. We both struggled and haggled – God saw the pain. But, I am grateful that God still gave us both an opportunity to settle everything peacefully. He has prepared greater things for me and my husband to conquer and accomplish, albeit separately. On my end, I have a lot of pending tasks and opportunities to explore when I get back home – advocacies, farm projects, graduate study, and other work opportunities, just to name a few.
I can’t think of any other goodbye that’s better than this. And yet it is also that kind of goodbye that still remains hopeful for the things to come. I accept all of these as part of God’s sanctification for us to grow spiritually because my husband and I are still both a work in progress. It isn’t a coincidence that this took place during Holy Week 2024.
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you (us), will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” – Philippians 1:6
Easter Sunday now has an even deeper meaning to me. The message of the Cross and Christ’s resurrection has never been more accurate and appropriate to what my husband and I are going through right now – sacrifice, freedom, transformation, new beginnings, and lastly, hope.
It is a testament to God’s profound love for the church that He is willing to sacrifice His own Son on the Cross so He can show that no power here on Earth, not even death, can separate us from the love of God. So in the end, we can all confidently say what Jesus said on the Cross, “Father, if You are willing, take this cup of suffering from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22: 42-44).
And so Christ has risen. And so shall we. 🙏♥️
“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May Your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in You.” – Psalm 33:20-22
After my “huhuhu waaah-ing 😭” last night because I remembered and missed Mom when I requested a copy of her death certificate online, I didn’t expect God would comfort me right away. And it was something that I can never ever dismiss – the comfort was tangible. 🙂
My husband came home to my puffy eyes last night and gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead. And when I told him I missed my Mom, he told me he received a token from a coworker because he was one of the godfathers of his coworker’s kid. He urged me to open it. But he was more excited, so he opened it himself. lol And tadaaaa, we found these inside the pouch – a box of uplifting quotations with Bible verses and hand cream. 😍
Thanks, Rod and wifey!
Oh my dear Father, what did I do to deserve this kind of love from You? Even if I failed You so many times, Your faithful love remained. 😭🙏 God already knows I will be crying over Mom last night. To pacify me, here came His surprise. Indeed, there is just no coincidence when it comes to faith.
“…for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:9
These are very simple gifts. And yet to me, they spoke volumes. They were exactly what I needed at the right time. I mean, out of all the million items that could be given away as a token, why exactly them, right?
My husband told me it looked like these gifts were all intended for me. Now, I have a new hand cream because I’m about to use up the hand and body lotion I’m using now. I’ve been doing some cleaning and washing here at home lately (please refer to my previous articles) and once again, God already knew what I needed beforehand – some pampering for ze hands. This is actually how God’s character as a Father is displayed revealing His never-ending care and provisions for His children.
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” – Matthew 6:26-27
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.” – Matthew 7:11
I never asked for these gifts. And yet God knows how to cheer me up and gave me exactly what I needed – materially and spiritually. He has always been like this to me ever since I became a born-again Christian. Maybe because God also knows how I feel deeply about everything – depression is another generational curse in the family.
This was how God saved me and how I was born again 11 years ago in the same month (you may read my testimony here and also here). Yes, I’m celebrating my 11th year this month as a born-again Christian. God’s timing and reminder are just so perfect, aren’t they?
It’s as if He was reminding me that “I sacrificed My Son for you on the Cross so you can be saved 11 years ago. So now Tin, stop moping around and stay focused on the task I laid out for you.” 😀 Ah yes, being born again is still the best milestone by far – nothing compares. ♥️
But wait, there’s more. When I opened the box, this was the message I saw – again, this was exactly the reminder that I needed last night. 😭
God is our Great Comforter, indeed. I can post a lot of Bible verses here that will show how He is close to the brokenhearted and how those who mourn will be comforted when they seek His Name.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.” – Psalms 34:18-19
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4
And yet the one I will post below speaks most to me and on what He wanted me to do:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
As they say, you will never feel what other people are feeling if you’ve never been in their shoes. When God allows us to experience pain and loss, it’s not to punish us or make us miserable. It is so that we can share His greatness with others and how in the midst of our pain God moved in amazing ways. This is how we testify to the world that He is real and that those who believe in Him may die but will never perish (eternal inheritance).
Every single time, God never failed to remind me that He is always with us and will always be with us because He is the Alpha and the Omega – the beginning and the end. Everything may seem bleak and dark to most of us now, but as what God has promised, there is a “positivefuture” ahead of us, and He is already leading us there. We need not be afraid because we are not alone. ❤️🙏
A preparation for the Great Work up ahead. 🙏
P.S. What happened last night wasn’t a coincidence, and I know I am not writing this article a few days before Holy Week for no reason. When God moves, we can expect that it will be miraculous and marvelous. What God requires from us though in return is our authentic faith – one that honors Him in our highs and in our lows just like what this blog of mine is all about. 🙏
From My YouVersion Bible AppDaily Prayer & Devotion
I often wondered what is it with death that we are so afraid of. Maybe we’re not really afraid about dying per se, but more of how we are going to die. The topic of death has always been considered morbid and taboo. And yet all the more that we should talk about it because acceptance is always the pathway to peace.
When God placed a desire in my heart about hospices after my Mom passed away last year due to stage 4 breast cancer and the possibility of providing hospice care on our farm in the future, I asked Him to give me the means to make it happen. And it looks like I got my confirmation because He sent me a whole lot of resources and instructions to prepare for it. Or maybe this was the work of Facebook’s algorithm since I’ve been doing research on hospice care which is why I was getting similar recommendations on my newsfeed. 😀
By the way, I don’t have a personal Facebook account because I deactivated it. I have 1 dummy account though where I only have 1 friend and she’s my spiritual Mom/coach/mentor. I mainly use Facebook to stay updated with news and current events.
Here are some of the organizations I found if you need information on hospice care:
I also chanced upon the website of the National Institute on Aging, which is one of the institutes of the National Institutes of Health in the U.S. It’s a privilege to be able to subscribe to their weekly newsletters and receive free caregiving tips and resources, which are all very informative.
I cannot tell though if the fulfillment of these plans will happen in my lifetime, but this might inspire others to follow suit if they also receive the same calling. But first, let’s define hospice care.
What Is Hospice Care?
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defined it as “a program designed to provide palliative care and emotional support to the terminally ill in a home or homelike setting so that quality of life is maintained and family members may be active participants in care. It is also a facility that provides such a program.”
The hospiceproject proposal and draft for another project are currently at 30% and 20% progress rates, respectively. I still have a lot of work to do. But, all in God’s perfect time. And I cannot work on a project without listening to worship songs. It’s a must. 😉
What To Do During The Terminal Stage Of An Illness?
It is part of my preparations to always assume the worst-case scenario. This helps me prepare holistically. However, I would suggest limiting these worst-case assumptions to a minimum because they can trigger anxiety, and we don’t want that. So let’s say I am diagnosed with a terminal illness, how am I going to take it?
1. Seek For Expert OpinionRe Treatments
I’ll ask my doctor how long I have like if I opt to go through all the treatments, will I have a couple of years and if I don’t, do I have a couple of months only to live? I will also ask what is my quality of life after receiving the treatments. Will I be able to live a normal life again?
If the answer will depend on how my body will respond to the treatments, then it’s a “go.” If my body won’t be able to survive the treatments, then I’m choosing palliative care and pain management instead.
2. Plan My Next Move
I did ask God what more can I do if I only had a couple of months or years to live. Because I felt like I could only do so much in just a short span of time. And yet God’s answer was that what we might consider as small efforts now may actually have a lasting and significant impact later on.
One example is meeting another patient who is already on the verge of ending his/her life, but by talking to him/her, hope in God is restored and this person is now helping others as a result. Or it could be a student who will be inspired by my testimony, and decades from now, that kid will become the President of this country who fears God and will genuinely serve his people. It’s like God was saying that there are plenty of opportunities to touch other people’s lives that don’t really require that much effort and too much time.
3. Prepare For The Actual Battle
We never go to a battle unprepared. And we don’t prepare ourselves only, but those around us, too. It is also important to be surrounded by people who can pray for you and encourage you to keep on fighting. The church is the right community for this.
Equipping warriors with the Armor of God in every battle (Ephesians 6:11-13). JEHOVAH NISSI. 🗡️🛡️
Breast cancer support groups, in a way, provide emotional and psychological help and other information based on every patient’s journey. But, we can’t totally rely on them because most of the people in these groups are going through treatments or have a family member who is ill. When one member dies, it can pull the morale of the rest of the members down.
Because when this happens, I know the next questions that will pop into their minds are these, “Lord, am I next? When will my time come?” Questions like these, if they are what occupy the patient’s mind often, will result in depression. And in the webinars I attended, when depression hits, it affects every treatment plan, especially if the patient doesn’t want to eat and take their medications or continue the treatments.
So I actually came up with this mantra to combat depression – we do not mourn the living, we mourn the dead. We can’t be sad all the time and cry over how difficult life is as a sick person. We don’t lose heart, but we keep moving forward. As long as we still breathe, we move forward. We call this in UP as “Padayon.” ✊
4. Pray And Let God Take Control
Once I start with my treatments, I will leave the results to God. Whether I get healed or my condition worsens, I will accept what God’s will is for me. If ever I decide to push through with palliative care, then I will let nature run its own course just like the stance of Ezekiel Emanuel, an oncologist, to refuse all treatments after the age of 75. You may read more about it in the following articles:
I once asked my second sister who works as a nurse in a nursing home in Norway how she ever got used to seeing patients die. How do you care for someone without getting emotionally attached and not be sad when he/she passes away?
My sister answered that you will never get used to it. You somehow just learn to accept it. I guess we can learn from doctors, too, and how they approach every patient’s case objectively. However, this isn’t always the case like what our pastor shared in church about how one doctor cried because the patient, a member of the congregation, was all good to undergo surgery but suddenly died the next day. And they weren’t expecting it at all.
This is why I have so much respect for doctors. What they do is really not easy. Also, not all patients are the same. There are those who will use 15 minutes of the doctor’s time venting out his/her sob story but still fail to answer directly the doctor’s question of what their concern is. 😁✌️ Then there are those who are sometimes too stubborn to obey doctor’s orders (is that you, Christine? lol). And there are those who blame the doctors when results turn out differently than what they’re expecting (this is definitely not me). But, we all love and care for these patients just the same.
That is why I keep on praying to God that doctors will be given the best support system that they could ever have may it be in the form of trusted friends, a spiritual family, loving parents and siblings, a supportive partner, or awesome kids (even if they can get too rowdy sometimes). And this is also what I was hoping the hospice facility would be able to provide – whatever the dying patient wishes, it will be granted (as long as it is reasonable).
Look To Jesus For Salvation Amid Suffering
Each one of us will go through different ways of dying. Each of these deaths will have its own struggles and pain – except for those who died instantly. We will all go through these struggles before our last breath. And yet we should not be afraid.
Instead, we look up to Jesus and how He conquered death. And yet even His death did not happen in His own timeline. Only God knows when we leave this world. What really matters is what we do with this one life that we have here on Earth.
If we’ve been born again, then we only have one purpose and that is to use our lives for God’s plans and His glory. We are a living testimony of God’s grace through every pain, every sorrow, and every suffering that we encounter in this life. The book of Revelation already gave us a glimpse of what those who endured suffering will get in the end – the promise of eternal life. This is a wonderful place to look forward to because in it there will be no more pain, no more sickness, and no more death. ❤️
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:1-4
P.S. Here are some videos that I felt like God wanted me to watch as part of our preparation for the hospice project. Again, providing hospice care may or may not materialize in our lifetime, but maybe those who get to read this article might benefit from watching these videos. These videos can be emotionally heavy for some so I suggest being ready with your comfort food, favorite hobby, or a trip someplace else after watching these videos to release all the negative emotions. And don’t forget your rolls of tissue. *sniff*
“5 Things You Should Know When Someone Is Actively Dying”
Just one more article before I hibernate here. I thought I should write this in case my recent blog posts gave you the impression that I was born rich. 😀 I’d like to change that assumption by saying that it’s actually the opposite. I grew up in a family that emphasizes frugality and the wise use of money above everything else. Next to it is generosity, which is actually the family legacy started by my great-grandparents. I am writing this post to honor them. ❤️
Photo: Eugenia Bertumen & Rev. Julian Bertumen | Sketch: Rev. Julian BertumenMy late grandma’s accounting of farm expenses back in the 1980s, which is what I’m doing now. But Dad will be the last generation who will be doing this because our generation will be using Microsoft Excel. It’s way easier. 😅
My great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents possessed properties by inheritance and purchased some but shared a decent portion of the harvest from everything that grows there with neighbors and friends. I am praying my siblings and I will be able to pass this legacy to the next generation because this, I believe, is the main purpose that God has given us these lands.
My great grandfather, Reverend Julian Bertumen, or Lolo Daddy as we call him, was born in Bacacay, Albay. He was a Freemason or a member of the Freemasonry before he became a Reverend of the Protestant church. His involvement in the church started in Albay before he transferred to Bulan, my hometown.
Together with my great-grandmother, Eugenia Bertumen or Mamay Gurang, they were able to possess properties not because they earned so much money from their work, but because they lived frugal lives. This was passed on to my grandmother and then to my Mom. I remembered how our late grandma had this set of clothes that she always wore going to church.
Left Photo: Eugenia Bertumen & Rev. Julian Bertumen
Both she and my grandpa only had the basic things needed at home. They lived in a small but very homey nipa hut at the farm. I spent a lot of time with them when I was a toddler every time my parents couldn’t find a babysitter.
A page from my grandma’s journal.I believe my grandma also prayed the way I am praying now that future generations will rekindle that deep connection with nature.A family that is called to be farmers and caretakers of the land one generation after the other. 🙏
My grandma had a very warm personality. She greeted people with her beautiful smile. I think I got most of my grandma’s genes because I discovered from her old belongings that she and I are alike in a lot of things. Like this old Gospel song that I found along with old letters written by her. So now I know where my fascination for Worship songs that speak to the soul came from. 😍
I also found this old photo taken during a church event in Albay in 1940. I think our ancestral roots are closely attached to this place, and I have a strong feeling God wanted each generation of our family to be connected to Albay in one way or the other.
My Mom lived there for quite some time and so did my grandparents and great-grandparents. This must explain why I feel certain emotions when I see Mt. Mayon. Am I an old soul from Albay? 😀 Maybe I’m a reincarnation of Magayon from the folklore. 🤔 Hmm, this means I’ll be dealing with Pangaronon and Pagtuga, too? lol Ugh, enough of the romantic tragedy already. 😩
I’m definitely keeping this very precious and priceless box of memories. ❤️
Does this mean though that I am going to live in Albay, too? Or maybe one of my siblings. Now, I cannot answer because it is only God who leads me where I should go. But the perfect rainbow I saw was in Albay, too. And along with it was God’s promise that He would bring me back to this land (Genesis 28:15). There are just no coincidences in Christianity. 😉
I also have this desire to look for the relatives of my grandma’s best friend who lived in Daraga. I want to know more about her, too. Our Mama must have loved her so much because she gave her best friend the old house where my grandma and grandpa used to live before they relocated to Bulan. Ah yes, that’s how generous my grandparents were. 🥰
“The Parable of the Sower” in Bikol dialect.1973 PBS Pamphlet
I believe my siblings and I are in this season where God is aligning us to the family’s calling, which spans from generation to generation. This also includes the people that we meet who will also play a role in what He will ask us to do in the coming years.
Found this in my grandma’s old stuff, too. It looks like I will be updating this also.
I am sensing that God is asking us to allow Him to realign us with His calling and purpose for our lives. This might involve drastic changes and sacrifices, but we must take comfort in the fact that the things that we can no longer control and what God allows to happen are for our own good.
I believe that this year will be all about renewed purposes for most of us. This year is about seeking His will more than anything. Thus, it is my prayer that more brave souls will surrender to and accept Jesus as their Savior, so they can also see the glory that God is about to bring to His kingdom. 🙏
“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.
But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-10
“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good.
They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.” – 1 Timothy 6:17-19
“How do I know if God is asking me to do a particular task?”
If you have asked this question a couple of times now in your life, then you’re not alone. I did, too. And here are some of my answers to this question based on my experience:
1. Clarity
There are no doubts about whether you should do it or not. Even if you don’t know the outcome or how you’re going to do it at first, there’s just this courage and boldness to pursue the task given to you.
2. Instructions
Everything is provided to you once you have set your heart on doing it. You have all the answers to your WH questions, and there simply is no reason now for you to not do it. Resources were made available and connections with people who can help you with your plans were established.
3. Peace
There is contentment and fulfillment when you think of this task. Even though it hasn’t been completed yet or hasn’t even started, there’s already a sense of accomplishment just by obeying God and committing to do what He asked you to do.
WE HAVE WORK TO DO
When you have all three going smoothly together, then you know you are set to start a God-ordained mission. 🙂 The doors that God has opened for me or let’s say the God-given possibilities that can turn into great opportunities starting next year are the following:
– more agribusiness opportunities
– connect with a spiritual family that supports the same vision for the mission at hand
– volunteer in church activities particularly those that involve the youth of the church because they will be the next spiritual leaders of their generation
– encourage the spirit of volunteerism among the youth by empowering themthrough mentoring sessions
– equip the youth to do volunteer work outside the church but guided by Biblical principles
– create or look for partnership opportunities between the schools and the church for the students’ Community Service projects
– volunteer in medical missions particularly for breast cancer
– connect the school, church, and hospital for Community Service initiatives led by the youth of the church (high school and college students will be assigned into groups mentored by spiritual coaches and will undergo a volunteering workshop conducted by the church)
– invite healthworkers to conduct a separate workshop and train youth volunteers on first aid and basic caregiving skills to terminally ill patients and help assist nurses (they can use these skills later on when they need to take care of a sick loved one at home or during a global emergency i.e. war, pandemic, etc. thus, help reduce the workload of healthcare professionals in public and private hospitals)
– targeted age of youth volunteers: high school and college
– considerations to include grade school volunteers by integrating volunteering opportunities with Girl/Boy Scout Camping (the proposed location is the hospice facility at the farm where they can have their camping activities, too, as this is less risky for the kids health-wise compared if they will be volunteering inside the hospitals – menial tasks will be assigned such as bringing the patient’s meals, putting fresh flowers on bedside vases, opening the window/glass door curtains, helping push the wheelchair, etc.)
– Church volunteers from other age groups are also welcome as long as they can commit to a regular volunteering schedule (options to choose from are once a week, twice a month, and once a month)
– conduct a feasibility study for the hospice facility (5-year and 10-year growth trajectory including possibilities for expansion i.e. bed capacity, supporting facilities, health personnel’s quarters, etc.) to be included in current site planning
– praying for a “praying doctor” (like a doctor who is also a pastor – yes, my prayers are always specific lol) who can be our hospice management advisor and at the same time can pray for patients who are about to pass away
This last objective/goal is actually the main mission in which all of these goals revolve around. It is the salvation of the souls by means of repentance and accepting the Lord Jesus as the Savior that will delight the heavens more than the good works that we did to help others in this world. 🙂
Why volunteering? It is the ministry that God has called me to serve even before I became a born-again Christian. I do not volunteer to seek validation or to please people. It’s because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of other people’s time, mercy, generosity, and care. I am just paying it forward. ❤️
Here are some of the volunteering projects I joined in the past years:
The goals I listed above are a lot of work that will involve a lot of people working together. I know God will provide the specific details on how to reach these goals. Some of these goals will happen simultaneously. Some or all of them might not happen at all. And some of them might happen probably a couple of decades from now. Only God knows. But I am very much looking forward to witnessing how God will work out these plans (and any deviations) for His glory and His kingdom. 🙏
Rough sketch/draft I made for the Hospice Project Proposal that I am praying my siblings will approve. 🙏🙂
“In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away.” – Luke 15:7
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ – Matthew 25:40
P.S. Btw, I am happy for this answered prayer – the recently constructed Sorsogon Cancer Treatment Center. Thank you so much, Lord! 🙏 It just came right on time for the goals I mentioned above. ❤️
Maraming salamat po, Senator!
P.P.S. If you have read this far, I believe it is not a coincidence and maybe God is also asking you to do something for your community – may it be in your church or in the neighborhood. I hope the goals I listed here might give you ideas on how you can serve God’s kingdom, too, starting next year. 🙂
This might be our last, only God knows, our last Christmas together as a married couple. Every goodbye is painful, and it would’ve been really easy to just walk away and leave everything behind.
But that is not what God is calling me to do. He’s asking me to wait a little longer because He still has some tasks for me to do here in Manila.
When I came here, I was asking God for an answer whether to fight for my marriage or not. An incident that took place on my birthday (sadly) prompted me to let go.
I was hurt. Deeply hurt. All the trauma of the past came back – lies, broken trust, and unfulfilled promises. I believe this is also why my infection got worse, my body was going through excessive emotional stress.
I was hoping for a change. But as they say, if people do not want to change, no amount of convincing is enough for them to do it. Unless they, themselves, decide that they want to change.
Finally, the right movie ticketsthis time. No need to change. 🙂
For the past 8 years, I have chosen to forgive even without the promise of change and at times the absence of apologies. It never mattered to me if I was disrespected or if boundaries had been violated.
Because the Bible says that if a brother sins against you and asks for forgiveness, forgive him every time. I was willing to endure. Though there were times when I asked God when will this suffering end.
A change in perspective. God, what else am I missing?
God’s answer to me was to endure until last December 22. I did cry a little bit, but a decision has been made. It was made in peace – a sign for me that God’s discipline is over. I endured, and God is releasing me from the bondage of sin and being unequally yoked.
I would’ve fought this decision over by being stubborn and by using my free will to fight for our marriage. But the day after, my infection got worse and God’s final words came:
“Your willpower is strong, Tin, but your body can no longer take it. I am giving you rest from everything, give you time to recharge, a time to heal so your body can recover, because I have more tasks for you to do. And the mission I am about to ask you to do requires that you are at your best self – healthy, at peace, and joyful. This mission requires helping others and you cannot help them if you, yourself, are dying on the inside and on the outside.”
I am claiming God’s beautiful promise that I will live long and die of old age though there are far too many times that I felt like maybe I would only make it this year or next year because all I ever did for the past years was to survive. So it does make sense if His first instruction to me for next year is to HEAL.
I will stay here in the city for now to help my husband because he needs a place to stay here in Manila while processing all the paperwork. This is the task that God is asking me to do while I am here. My husband is still my brother in Christ, and I will provide any help that I can give because that is the right thing to do in return for all the favors that he did for me and my family.
When awkward silences become unbearable, just take a photo. lol When you’re married, your best friend can also be your worst enemy. 😅
We all have our demons. We all have sinned. And yet, it is only God who can save us from these demons that haunt us every now and then and compel us to do things that we never want to do. And yet, this requires that we work with God, too. God can never save us if we feel like we don’t need any saving.
The acts of salvation and redemption always start with surrendering everything that is dark within us so God can eventually usher us out into the light. God is giving my husband another chance to change but without me this time, thus, God called my husband to work abroad.
My husband working abroad means it will be extremely difficult for us to navigate through every conflict that may arise in our marriage because of the distance especially if he still hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. Temptations will be even greater. If he comes back a changed man (for the better), then this marriage might still stand a chance until death parts us both.
But for now, we will pursue our dreams apart from each other because God wills it – his dream to work abroad and my dream to pursue agribusiness projects in Bicol. I may not see and understand the plans of God, but this separation is a divine calling, and God is asking me to obey.
The processing of my husband’s paperwork for his work abroad has also been smooth with very minimal hassle. I see this as a sign that this is what God is asking him to do for our own good. If my husband finds another woman to love while he’s abroad, then I will accept (though heartbreaking) the fact that I was never God’s intended true love for him.
And yet that will be another problem at another time. But for now, I will keep holding on to God’s promise for me when I saw my first perfect rainbow in Albay back in 2020 accompanied by the first Bible verse below. 🙏
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day, I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!” – Luke 1:45
The Journeyman's Moments 