The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
After my “huhuhu waaah-ing 😭” last night because I remembered and missed Mom when I requested a copy of her death certificate online, I didn’t expect God would comfort me right away. And it was something that I can never ever dismiss – the comfort was tangible. 🙂
My husband came home to my puffy eyes last night and gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead. And when I told him I missed my Mom, he told me he received a token from a coworker because he was one of the godfathers of his coworker’s kid. He urged me to open it. But he was more excited, so he opened it himself. lol And tadaaaa, we found these inside the pouch – a box of uplifting quotations with Bible verses and hand cream. 😍
Thanks, Rod and wifey!
Oh my dear Father, what did I do to deserve this kind of love from You? Even if I failed You so many times, Your faithful love remained. 😭🙏 God already knows I will be crying over Mom last night. To pacify me, here came His surprise. Indeed, there is just no coincidence when it comes to faith.
“…for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:9
These are very simple gifts. And yet to me, they spoke volumes. They were exactly what I needed at the right time. I mean, out of all the million items that could be given away as a token, why exactly them, right?
My husband told me it looked like these gifts were all intended for me. Now, I have a new hand cream because I’m about to use up the hand and body lotion I’m using now. I’ve been doing some cleaning and washing here at home lately (please refer to my previous articles) and once again, God already knew what I needed beforehand – some pampering for ze hands. This is actually how God’s character as a Father is displayed revealing His never-ending care and provisions for His children.
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” – Matthew 6:26-27
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.” – Matthew 7:11
I never asked for these gifts. And yet God knows how to cheer me up and gave me exactly what I needed – materially and spiritually. He has always been like this to me ever since I became a born-again Christian. Maybe because God also knows how I feel deeply about everything – depression is another generational curse in the family.
This was how God saved me and how I was born again 11 years ago in the same month (you may read my testimony here and also here). Yes, I’m celebrating my 11th year this month as a born-again Christian. God’s timing and reminder are just so perfect, aren’t they?
It’s as if He was reminding me that “I sacrificed My Son for you on the Cross so you can be saved 11 years ago. So now Tin, stop moping around and stay focused on the task I laid out for you.” 😀 Ah yes, being born again is still the best milestone by far – nothing compares. ♥️
But wait, there’s more. When I opened the box, this was the message I saw – again, this was exactly the reminder that I needed last night. 😭
God is our Great Comforter, indeed. I can post a lot of Bible verses here that will show how He is close to the brokenhearted and how those who mourn will be comforted when they seek His Name.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.” – Psalms 34:18-19
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4
And yet the one I will post below speaks most to me and on what He wanted me to do:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
As they say, you will never feel what other people are feeling if you’ve never been in their shoes. When God allows us to experience pain and loss, it’s not to punish us or make us miserable. It is so that we can share His greatness with others and how in the midst of our pain God moved in amazing ways. This is how we testify to the world that He is real and that those who believe in Him may die but will never perish (eternal inheritance).
Every single time, God never failed to remind me that He is always with us and will always be with us because He is the Alpha and the Omega – the beginning and the end. Everything may seem bleak and dark to most of us now, but as what God has promised, there is a “positivefuture” ahead of us, and He is already leading us there. We need not be afraid because we are not alone. ❤️🙏
A preparation for the Great Work up ahead. 🙏
P.S. What happened last night wasn’t a coincidence, and I know I am not writing this article a few days before Holy Week for no reason. When God moves, we can expect that it will be miraculous and marvelous. What God requires from us though in return is our authentic faith – one that honors Him in our highs and in our lows just like what this blog of mine is all about. 🙏
From My YouVersion Bible AppDaily Prayer & Devotion
I often wondered what is it with death that we are so afraid of. Maybe we’re not really afraid about dying per se, but more of how we are going to die. The topic of death has always been considered morbid and taboo. And yet all the more that we should talk about it because acceptance is always the pathway to peace.
When God placed a desire in my heart about hospices after my Mom passed away last year due to stage 4 breast cancer and the possibility of providing hospice care on our farm in the future, I asked Him to give me the means to make it happen. And it looks like I got my confirmation because He sent me a whole lot of resources and instructions to prepare for it. Or maybe this was the work of Facebook’s algorithm since I’ve been doing research on hospice care which is why I was getting similar recommendations on my newsfeed. 😀
By the way, I don’t have a personal Facebook account because I deactivated it. I have 1 dummy account though where I only have 1 friend and she’s my spiritual Mom/coach/mentor. I mainly use Facebook to stay updated with news and current events.
Here are some of the organizations I found if you need information on hospice care:
I also chanced upon the website of the National Institute on Aging, which is one of the institutes of the National Institutes of Health in the U.S. It’s a privilege to be able to subscribe to their weekly newsletters and receive free caregiving tips and resources, which are all very informative.
I cannot tell though if the fulfillment of these plans will happen in my lifetime, but this might inspire others to follow suit if they also receive the same calling. But first, let’s define hospice care.
What Is Hospice Care?
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defined it as “a program designed to provide palliative care and emotional support to the terminally ill in a home or homelike setting so that quality of life is maintained and family members may be active participants in care. It is also a facility that provides such a program.”
The hospiceproject proposal and draft for another project are currently at 30% and 20% progress rates, respectively. I still have a lot of work to do. But, all in God’s perfect time. And I cannot work on a project without listening to worship songs. It’s a must. 😉
What To Do During The Terminal Stage Of An Illness?
It is part of my preparations to always assume the worst-case scenario. This helps me prepare holistically. However, I would suggest limiting these worst-case assumptions to a minimum because they can trigger anxiety, and we don’t want that. So let’s say I am diagnosed with a terminal illness, how am I going to take it?
1. Seek For Expert OpinionRe Treatments
I’ll ask my doctor how long I have like if I opt to go through all the treatments, will I have a couple of years and if I don’t, do I have a couple of months only to live? I will also ask what is my quality of life after receiving the treatments. Will I be able to live a normal life again?
If the answer will depend on how my body will respond to the treatments, then it’s a “go.” If my body won’t be able to survive the treatments, then I’m choosing palliative care and pain management instead.
2. Plan My Next Move
I did ask God what more can I do if I only had a couple of months or years to live. Because I felt like I could only do so much in just a short span of time. And yet God’s answer was that what we might consider as small efforts now may actually have a lasting and significant impact later on.
One example is meeting another patient who is already on the verge of ending his/her life, but by talking to him/her, hope in God is restored and this person is now helping others as a result. Or it could be a student who will be inspired by my testimony, and decades from now, that kid will become the President of this country who fears God and will genuinely serve his people. It’s like God was saying that there are plenty of opportunities to touch other people’s lives that don’t really require that much effort and too much time.
3. Prepare For The Actual Battle
We never go to a battle unprepared. And we don’t prepare ourselves only, but those around us, too. It is also important to be surrounded by people who can pray for you and encourage you to keep on fighting. The church is the right community for this.
Equipping warriors with the Armor of God in every battle (Ephesians 6:11-13). JEHOVAH NISSI. 🗡️🛡️
Breast cancer support groups, in a way, provide emotional and psychological help and other information based on every patient’s journey. But, we can’t totally rely on them because most of the people in these groups are going through treatments or have a family member who is ill. When one member dies, it can pull the morale of the rest of the members down.
Because when this happens, I know the next questions that will pop into their minds are these, “Lord, am I next? When will my time come?” Questions like these, if they are what occupy the patient’s mind often, will result in depression. And in the webinars I attended, when depression hits, it affects every treatment plan, especially if the patient doesn’t want to eat and take their medications or continue the treatments.
So I actually came up with this mantra to combat depression – we do not mourn the living, we mourn the dead. We can’t be sad all the time and cry over how difficult life is as a sick person. We don’t lose heart, but we keep moving forward. As long as we still breathe, we move forward. We call this in UP as “Padayon.” ✊
4. Pray And Let God Take Control
Once I start with my treatments, I will leave the results to God. Whether I get healed or my condition worsens, I will accept what God’s will is for me. If ever I decide to push through with palliative care, then I will let nature run its own course just like the stance of Ezekiel Emanuel, an oncologist, to refuse all treatments after the age of 75. You may read more about it in the following articles:
I once asked my second sister who works as a nurse in a nursing home in Norway how she ever got used to seeing patients die. How do you care for someone without getting emotionally attached and not be sad when he/she passes away?
My sister answered that you will never get used to it. You somehow just learn to accept it. I guess we can learn from doctors, too, and how they approach every patient’s case objectively. However, this isn’t always the case like what our pastor shared in church about how one doctor cried because the patient, a member of the congregation, was all good to undergo surgery but suddenly died the next day. And they weren’t expecting it at all.
This is why I have so much respect for doctors. What they do is really not easy. Also, not all patients are the same. There are those who will use 15 minutes of the doctor’s time venting out his/her sob story but still fail to answer directly the doctor’s question of what their concern is. 😁✌️ Then there are those who are sometimes too stubborn to obey doctor’s orders (is that you, Christine? lol). And there are those who blame the doctors when results turn out differently than what they’re expecting (this is definitely not me). But, we all love and care for these patients just the same.
That is why I keep on praying to God that doctors will be given the best support system that they could ever have may it be in the form of trusted friends, a spiritual family, loving parents and siblings, a supportive partner, or awesome kids (even if they can get too rowdy sometimes). And this is also what I was hoping the hospice facility would be able to provide – whatever the dying patient wishes, it will be granted (as long as it is reasonable).
Look To Jesus For Salvation Amid Suffering
Each one of us will go through different ways of dying. Each of these deaths will have its own struggles and pain – except for those who died instantly. We will all go through these struggles before our last breath. And yet we should not be afraid.
Instead, we look up to Jesus and how He conquered death. And yet even His death did not happen in His own timeline. Only God knows when we leave this world. What really matters is what we do with this one life that we have here on Earth.
If we’ve been born again, then we only have one purpose and that is to use our lives for God’s plans and His glory. We are a living testimony of God’s grace through every pain, every sorrow, and every suffering that we encounter in this life. The book of Revelation already gave us a glimpse of what those who endured suffering will get in the end – the promise of eternal life. This is a wonderful place to look forward to because in it there will be no more pain, no more sickness, and no more death. ❤️
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:1-4
P.S. Here are some videos that I felt like God wanted me to watch as part of our preparation for the hospice project. Again, providing hospice care may or may not materialize in our lifetime, but maybe those who get to read this article might benefit from watching these videos. These videos can be emotionally heavy for some so I suggest being ready with your comfort food, favorite hobby, or a trip someplace else after watching these videos to release all the negative emotions. And don’t forget your rolls of tissue. *sniff*
“5 Things You Should Know When Someone Is Actively Dying”
Just one more article before I hibernate here. I thought I should write this in case my recent blog posts gave you the impression that I was born rich. 😀 I’d like to change that assumption by saying that it’s actually the opposite. I grew up in a family that emphasizes frugality and the wise use of money above everything else. Next to it is generosity, which is actually the family legacy started by my great-grandparents. I am writing this post to honor them. ❤️
Photo: Eugenia Bertumen & Rev. Julian Bertumen | Sketch: Rev. Julian BertumenMy late grandma’s accounting of farm expenses back in the 1980s, which is what I’m doing now. But Dad will be the last generation who will be doing this because our generation will be using Microsoft Excel. It’s way easier. 😅
My great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents possessed properties by inheritance and purchased some but shared a decent portion of the harvest from everything that grows there with neighbors and friends. I am praying my siblings and I will be able to pass this legacy to the next generation because this, I believe, is the main purpose that God has given us these lands.
My great grandfather, Reverend Julian Bertumen, or Lolo Daddy as we call him, was born in Bacacay, Albay. He was a Freemason or a member of the Freemasonry before he became a Reverend of the Protestant church. His involvement in the church started in Albay before he transferred to Bulan, my hometown.
Together with my great-grandmother, Eugenia Bertumen or Mamay Gurang, they were able to possess properties not because they earned so much money from their work, but because they lived frugal lives. This was passed on to my grandmother and then to my Mom. I remembered how our late grandma had this set of clothes that she always wore going to church.
Left Photo: Eugenia Bertumen & Rev. Julian Bertumen
Both she and my grandpa only had the basic things needed at home. They lived in a small but very homey nipa hut at the farm. I spent a lot of time with them when I was a toddler every time my parents couldn’t find a babysitter.
A page from my grandma’s journal.I believe my grandma also prayed the way I am praying now that future generations will rekindle that deep connection with nature.A family that is called to be farmers and caretakers of the land one generation after the other. 🙏
My grandma had a very warm personality. She greeted people with her beautiful smile. I think I got most of my grandma’s genes because I discovered from her old belongings that she and I are alike in a lot of things. Like this old Gospel song that I found along with old letters written by her. So now I know where my fascination for Worship songs that speak to the soul came from. 😍
I also found this old photo taken during a church event in Albay in 1940. I think our ancestral roots are closely attached to this place, and I have a strong feeling God wanted each generation of our family to be connected to Albay in one way or the other.
My Mom lived there for quite some time and so did my grandparents and great-grandparents. This must explain why I feel certain emotions when I see Mt. Mayon. Am I an old soul from Albay? 😀 Maybe I’m a reincarnation of Magayon from the folklore. 🤔 Hmm, this means I’ll be dealing with Pangaronon and Pagtuga, too? lol Ugh, enough of the romantic tragedy already. 😩
I’m definitely keeping this very precious and priceless box of memories. ❤️
Does this mean though that I am going to live in Albay, too? Or maybe one of my siblings. Now, I cannot answer because it is only God who leads me where I should go. But the perfect rainbow I saw was in Albay, too. And along with it was God’s promise that He would bring me back to this land (Genesis 28:15). There are just no coincidences in Christianity. 😉
I also have this desire to look for the relatives of my grandma’s best friend who lived in Daraga. I want to know more about her, too. Our Mama must have loved her so much because she gave her best friend the old house where my grandma and grandpa used to live before they relocated to Bulan. Ah yes, that’s how generous my grandparents were. 🥰
“The Parable of the Sower” in Bikol dialect.1973 PBS Pamphlet
I believe my siblings and I are in this season where God is aligning us to the family’s calling, which spans from generation to generation. This also includes the people that we meet who will also play a role in what He will ask us to do in the coming years.
Found this in my grandma’s old stuff, too. It looks like I will be updating this also.
I am sensing that God is asking us to allow Him to realign us with His calling and purpose for our lives. This might involve drastic changes and sacrifices, but we must take comfort in the fact that the things that we can no longer control and what God allows to happen are for our own good.
I believe that this year will be all about renewed purposes for most of us. This year is about seeking His will more than anything. Thus, it is my prayer that more brave souls will surrender to and accept Jesus as their Savior, so they can also see the glory that God is about to bring to His kingdom. 🙏
“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.
But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-10
“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good.
They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.” – 1 Timothy 6:17-19
“How do I know if God is asking me to do a particular task?”
If you have asked this question a couple of times now in your life, then you’re not alone. I did, too. And here are some of my answers to this question based on my experience:
1. Clarity
There are no doubts about whether you should do it or not. Even if you don’t know the outcome or how you’re going to do it at first, there’s just this courage and boldness to pursue the task given to you.
2. Instructions
Everything is provided to you once you have set your heart on doing it. You have all the answers to your WH questions, and there simply is no reason now for you to not do it. Resources were made available and connections with people who can help you with your plans were established.
3. Peace
There is contentment and fulfillment when you think of this task. Even though it hasn’t been completed yet or hasn’t even started, there’s already a sense of accomplishment just by obeying God and committing to do what He asked you to do.
WE HAVE WORK TO DO
When you have all three going smoothly together, then you know you are set to start a God-ordained mission. 🙂 The doors that God has opened for me or let’s say the God-given possibilities that can turn into great opportunities starting next year are the following:
– more agribusiness opportunities
– connect with a spiritual family that supports the same vision for the mission at hand
– volunteer in church activities particularly those that involve the youth of the church because they will be the next spiritual leaders of their generation
– encourage the spirit of volunteerism among the youth by empowering themthrough mentoring sessions
– equip the youth to do volunteer work outside the church but guided by Biblical principles
– create or look for partnership opportunities between the schools and the church for the students’ Community Service projects
– volunteer in medical missions particularly for breast cancer
– connect the school, church, and hospital for Community Service initiatives led by the youth of the church (high school and college students will be assigned into groups mentored by spiritual coaches and will undergo a volunteering workshop conducted by the church)
– invite healthworkers to conduct a separate workshop and train youth volunteers on first aid and basic caregiving skills to terminally ill patients and help assist nurses (they can use these skills later on when they need to take care of a sick loved one at home or during a global emergency i.e. war, pandemic, etc. thus, help reduce the workload of healthcare professionals in public and private hospitals)
– targeted age of youth volunteers: high school and college
– considerations to include grade school volunteers by integrating volunteering opportunities with Girl/Boy Scout Camping (the proposed location is the hospice facility at the farm where they can have their camping activities, too, as this is less risky for the kids health-wise compared if they will be volunteering inside the hospitals – menial tasks will be assigned such as bringing the patient’s meals, putting fresh flowers on bedside vases, opening the window/glass door curtains, helping push the wheelchair, etc.)
– Church volunteers from other age groups are also welcome as long as they can commit to a regular volunteering schedule (options to choose from are once a week, twice a month, and once a month)
– conduct a feasibility study for the hospice facility (5-year and 10-year growth trajectory including possibilities for expansion i.e. bed capacity, supporting facilities, health personnel’s quarters, etc.) to be included in current site planning
– praying for a “praying doctor” (like a doctor who is also a pastor – yes, my prayers are always specific lol) who can be our hospice management advisor and at the same time can pray for patients who are about to pass away
This last objective/goal is actually the main mission in which all of these goals revolve around. It is the salvation of the souls by means of repentance and accepting the Lord Jesus as the Savior that will delight the heavens more than the good works that we did to help others in this world. 🙂
Why volunteering? It is the ministry that God has called me to serve even before I became a born-again Christian. I do not volunteer to seek validation or to please people. It’s because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of other people’s time, mercy, generosity, and care. I am just paying it forward. ❤️
Here are some of the volunteering projects I joined in the past years:
The goals I listed above are a lot of work that will involve a lot of people working together. I know God will provide the specific details on how to reach these goals. Some of these goals will happen simultaneously. Some or all of them might not happen at all. And some of them might happen probably a couple of decades from now. Only God knows. But I am very much looking forward to witnessing how God will work out these plans (and any deviations) for His glory and His kingdom. 🙏
Rough sketch/draft I made for the Hospice Project Proposal that I am praying my siblings will approve. 🙏🙂
“In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away.” – Luke 15:7
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ – Matthew 25:40
P.S. Btw, I am happy for this answered prayer – the recently constructed Sorsogon Cancer Treatment Center. Thank you so much, Lord! 🙏 It just came right on time for the goals I mentioned above. ❤️
Maraming salamat po, Senator!
P.P.S. If you have read this far, I believe it is not a coincidence and maybe God is also asking you to do something for your community – may it be in your church or in the neighborhood. I hope the goals I listed here might give you ideas on how you can serve God’s kingdom, too, starting next year. 🙂
This might be our last, only God knows, our last Christmas together as a married couple. Every goodbye is painful, and it would’ve been really easy to just walk away and leave everything behind.
But that is not what God is calling me to do. He’s asking me to wait a little longer because He still has some tasks for me to do here in Manila.
When I came here, I was asking God for an answer whether to fight for my marriage or not. An incident that took place on my birthday (sadly) prompted me to let go.
I was hurt. Deeply hurt. All the trauma of the past came back – lies, broken trust, and unfulfilled promises. I believe this is also why my infection got worse, my body was going through excessive emotional stress.
I was hoping for a change. But as they say, if people do not want to change, no amount of convincing is enough for them to do it. Unless they, themselves, decide that they want to change.
Finally, the right movie ticketsthis time. No need to change. 🙂
For the past 8 years, I have chosen to forgive even without the promise of change and at times the absence of apologies. It never mattered to me if I was disrespected or if boundaries had been violated.
Because the Bible says that if a brother sins against you and asks for forgiveness, forgive him every time. I was willing to endure. Though there were times when I asked God when will this suffering end.
A change in perspective. God, what else am I missing?
God’s answer to me was to endure until last December 22. I did cry a little bit, but a decision has been made. It was made in peace – a sign for me that God’s discipline is over. I endured, and God is releasing me from the bondage of sin and being unequally yoked.
I would’ve fought this decision over by being stubborn and by using my free will to fight for our marriage. But the day after, my infection got worse and God’s final words came:
“Your willpower is strong, Tin, but your body can no longer take it. I am giving you rest from everything, give you time to recharge, a time to heal so your body can recover, because I have more tasks for you to do. And the mission I am about to ask you to do requires that you are at your best self – healthy, at peace, and joyful. This mission requires helping others and you cannot help them if you, yourself, are dying on the inside and on the outside.”
I am claiming God’s beautiful promise that I will live long and die of old age though there are far too many times that I felt like maybe I would only make it this year or next year because all I ever did for the past years was to survive. So it does make sense if His first instruction to me for next year is to HEAL.
I will stay here in the city for now to help my husband because he needs a place to stay here in Manila while processing all the paperwork. This is the task that God is asking me to do while I am here. My husband is still my brother in Christ, and I will provide any help that I can give because that is the right thing to do in return for all the favors that he did for me and my family.
When awkward silences become unbearable, just take a photo. lol When you’re married, your best friend can also be your worst enemy. 😅
We all have our demons. We all have sinned. And yet, it is only God who can save us from these demons that haunt us every now and then and compel us to do things that we never want to do. And yet, this requires that we work with God, too. God can never save us if we feel like we don’t need any saving.
The acts of salvation and redemption always start with surrendering everything that is dark within us so God can eventually usher us out into the light. God is giving my husband another chance to change but without me this time, thus, God called my husband to work abroad.
My husband working abroad means it will be extremely difficult for us to navigate through every conflict that may arise in our marriage because of the distance especially if he still hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. Temptations will be even greater. If he comes back a changed man (for the better), then this marriage might still stand a chance until death parts us both.
But for now, we will pursue our dreams apart from each other because God wills it – his dream to work abroad and my dream to pursue agribusiness projects in Bicol. I may not see and understand the plans of God, but this separation is a divine calling, and God is asking me to obey.
The processing of my husband’s paperwork for his work abroad has also been smooth with very minimal hassle. I see this as a sign that this is what God is asking him to do for our own good. If my husband finds another woman to love while he’s abroad, then I will accept (though heartbreaking) the fact that I was never God’s intended true love for him.
And yet that will be another problem at another time. But for now, I will keep holding on to God’s promise for me when I saw my first perfect rainbow in Albay back in 2020 accompanied by the first Bible verse below. 🙏
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day, I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!” – Luke 1:45
When it comes to self-control, there’s only one person that comes to my mind who makes me wish that every guy in this world is like him – my Dad. If only his soul can be cloned and injected in every male fetus now, the whole world will be a better place to live in. 😃
And no, when Dad was young, he used to have all the vices that a few men weren’t able to escape from – gambling, chain smoking, and excessive drinking. But by the grace of God and because of love, he changed.
Our Dad In Our Eyes
When my brother graduated from the Philippine Military Academy in 2005, his article about Dad entitled “The Unsung Hero,” was one of the articles recited and featured during the graduation ceremony. We all broke down to tears after hearing it. Oh, brother dear, must you also have the flair for the dramatic like me. lol My blog, on the one hand, intends to make our Dad “The Celebrated Hero.” 😃
My Dad is not perfect. He juggled farming on weekends and office work during weekdays and yet still finds the time to pick coconuts so my siblings and I can enjoy fresh coconut meat and coconut juice during summer. He still does that now with our other fruits in the garden at the age of 83, but now complains of sore muscles afterward. And he would still do it again even if we tell him that he doesn’t have to. 😅
I can list down a whole lot more of other childhood experiences with Dad that are now precious memories that I can happily recall every time nostalgia hits. That’s why I wish to celebrate all the Dads out there who are like my Dad though it is not Father’s Day.
Praise God For Godly Men And Fathers
I hope after reading this, it will bring joy to your hearts knowing that your children will remember you not for the material gifts you have given them, but the memories and sacrifices you have made with and for them. Fly kites with your kids, watch the stars together, go fishing and camping, hike the mountains together, ride that bike around the neighborhood – these are the joys of a kid that stay with them until they are old. Sadly, I do not have the opportunity to do these things.
That’s why for those who do, don’t let the chance pass by because you can never get it back once your children grows old or when you grow old. This is the kind of love that our Great Father has for us, His children, that’s why a sacrifice has been made through His one and only Son on our behalf. And this is also the reason why we are celebrating the holiday season.
Love You, Dad
Yes, my Dad isn’t perfect, but he tried his very best to be the perfect Dad to us and a perfect husband to my Mom – even when Mom was at her worst, and we were at our naughtiest. And I mean, naughtiest. He gets angry, but it’s always controlled anger – that kind of anger that disciplines, but teaches children about honor and respect. He is a man of few words, thus, showed his love through his actions and his (oftentimes corny 😅✌️) sense of humor.
I love my Dad so much, and I wish this blog can do more than just memorialize his life so his memory lives on and on even when he is gone. Because I believe his kind is getting rarer as each generation passes by. This is a sad reality, but it is the truth.
What Is Self-Control
Self-control in a Christian’s life is very important. For me, it is an all-encompassing word wherein all other moral values (fruits of the Holy Spirit) such as patience, peace, discipline, gentleness, kindness, humility, love, faithfulness, and goodness will fall under.
Self-control is the only thing that will help a born-again Christian to not fall into temptation and go back to who he/she was before being saved. This is why the Bible is intentional when it comes to fasting. Fasting teaches believers to take control of the mind, body, and emotions and not the other way around.
Fasting And Self-Control
This is why I prefer to have my own pre-holiday/birthday fasting so I can control my mind, body, and emotions and not be tempted during this holiday season by excessive drinking, overeating, careless partying, splurging on gifts, irritability due to the holiday rush, etc. Without self control, we are prone to making mistakes, to being tempted, and eventually to sinning.
The lack of self-control destroys boundaries, dishonors people you love, and breaks trust that takes years to build. And no, an apology from an unchanged heart is only made of empty words that do not have meaning and only speak of broken promises and chances that are wasted again and again and again.
Until the time comes that God says, “ENOUGH.” If promises get broken, then plans can change, too.
A Lesson That Is Hard To Forget
I thank God for giving me the courage to do what He is asking me to do – let go of things that I have been trying to hold onto because I am afraid of a lot of things. Because I used to have this limited perception of my purpose in this world.
But God showed me that in order for me to pursue a higher calling, I have to let go of some things, especially if they will hinder the tasks that He will ask me to do. God has bigger plans, and all I need is to trust Him that He is leading me towards them. That will be my next article because I now have lots of time to write though I still have articles to do at work.
Yes, thank God indeed for this talent that He has bestowed upon me so I can share my testimony of His saving grace in every season and help others who might be going through the same thing. 🙏🙂
P.S. By the way, it is my lack of self control that got me into this messiest mess I’m in right now because of the poor choices I made when I was young. I am living the repercussions and consequences now. And yet I am wholeheartedly accepting God’s discipline and I promised Him that I will show Him my loyalty and faithfulness by obeying even if it means enduring this season of painful discipline my entire life. I will endure and even if I ask God to take this suffering away now, like what Jesus said, “not my will but let God’s will be done.” 🙏
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
I oftentimes wonder why life sometimes has a funny way of mocking us. Just when hubby decided to go back to the city and I was left here in the province, Chick (our rogue hen) found herself a dashing young rooster owned by my nephew. They’re so smitten with one another, and they just seem inseparable. I was jealous, of course.
Maybe God is recreating Noah’s Ark here at home by giving us a pair (male and female) of every creature.
We named the rooster Chuck, and though he’s quite very young for Chick, he’s very protective of her and provides her with whatever bit of food he can scour in the garden. Of course, as with most love stories, theirs resulted in Chick getting pregnant.
The firstborn that will end up in the pan. Sorry, Chick. Don’t worry, we will leave your last 2 eggs to hatch so they can keep you company.
Picked the pineapple from the garden, it didn’t come out of the hen along with the eggs (I just want to be crystal clear on this). Hmmm, pwede na pala gumawa ng Pininyahang Manok. Unfortunately, Chick is already a beloved pet. So, she’s safe from the cooking pot.
Unfortunately, their ending wasn’t a fairytale, but a tragedy. When Chick started laying eggs, Chuck’s nowhere to be found. I’m not sure if he’s deserted her, my nephew put him in a cage, he’s found a new hen, or he’s been sold already (and eaten?). Chick’s back to her solitary self again. *sigh*
What’s The Moral Lesson Of The Story, Tin?
So the mockery was, am I seeing my very own love story being played out by Chick and Chuck? Although my husband leaving me here is not an abandonment, and there are also a lot of married couples who were successful in their marriages despite having a long distance relationship.
My separation anxiety just couldn’t accept him being far away though his leaving has a valid reason. I felt like this was God’s way of reminding me that being alone is okay, and love is not about insisting on one’s way. It always, always endures and perseveres.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
No, I wasn’t letting go as a wife. Love is at the very core of Christianity, and if I love my husband enough, then I should not let go. If I did let go, it was to be free from my own fears and to let God reign over them. As of late, I am always reminded by the Bible verses that in the end times, people will be lovers of self. If we are entering the end times as some prophets are saying, then we have to watch out for how the world would tempt us to conform when it comes to self-preservation.
“You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money.” 2 Timothy 3:1-3
Self-preservation is loving and putting oneself above others, and the world places such emphasis on this in light of mental health advocacies (domestic violence is a different case). And yet love in Christianity teaches the opposite – it is dying to ourselves every single day so we can share in the suffering of Christ on the Cross. Only when we become selfless do we have the love that is from the Father, a love that puts others above their own.
A Love Like God Because God Is Love
Is it possible to love like God? My answer is “yes.” If we are truly sons and daughters of God, then the love of the Father should be in us, which now enables us to love like how God loves us. Besides, to love others as He loved us is the second commandment of God. And December is the season that commemorates this great love. I believe it is no coincidence that I am writing about this topic the day before the month of December starts.
Thus, as a flawed human being born in December and yet have been born again through the blood of Christ, I have decided to spend the holidays and my birthday in Manila with my husband as a display of my love for God and to honor my commitment as a wife. Ever since my husband left, we never failed to communicate daily – he pursued me still just like how God continues to pursue us every single day. And yet I am not going to Manila to stay there, but only so we can both be at peace with our decision to go wherever God will call us to serve even if it means being apart for a while.
More so because God is calling my husband to work abroad for how many years on a contract. A great opportunity opened for him to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming an overseas worker, and I can’t help but be overjoyed for him. It’s his answered prayer. Should everything go smoothly in the processing of his application because he’s already halfway through, I told him that his working abroad has God’s anointing and that God is calling him to that country.
Answering God’s Calling
As for me, however, the calling still remains – stay here in my province. I prayed to God if I am where He wanted me to be, and the answer was a clear “yes.” Once my husband works abroad, I am coming back here to my hometown. But I am coming back at peace with my heart whole. ❤️
A lot could happen to me and my husband while we’re apart. The brevity of life teaches us to number our days as the Bible puts it. I have a lot of fears and worries because nobody knows except for God what the future holds for us both. But I also have faith that God is with us, and He is asking me and my husband once again to step out in even greater faith and welcome a new season that we have yet to conquer.
Chick’s love story isn’t over yet, too, whether Chuck is with her or not. I am very much looking forward to the continuation of her life story and also with mine. 🙏
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18
“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 4:8
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
“Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18
On to yet a new journey. ❤
P. S. Speaking of eggs, I just want to share these salted duck eggs from our regular supplier who lives near one of our rice fields. We got this for 12php apiece, cheaper than the ones sold at the market which costs 15php per piece. Maybe it’s because Dad allows their ducks to graze in our rice fields every after the palay harvest. 😉
It is the family’s 10-year-old son who markets these salted duck eggs to Dad when he sees Dad visiting the rice fields. What I love about these eggs is that they’re not too salty, and yet are perfectly preserved. If ever you know of any local farmers in your area, I’d like to encourage you to buy directly from them to help sell off their products fast. You can also be assured that the products you buy from them are fresh and of good quality but sold for an affordable price. ❤
The boy was selling 40 salted duck eggs. Dad bought 20 pieces, and another farmer bought the last 20 pieces. They’re all sold in just a few minutes after he got out of their house. 😀We eat this with tomatoes and onions doused with a little bit of calamansi juice, and you now have a perfect side dish to pair with the other viands for your breakfast. Yummers! 😋
2023 has been my most painful year. Yet God has still been good to me because He opened doors that I believe will remain open starting next year and the years to come.
So, I am starting my WordPress hibernation early for my year-end/birthday prayer and fasting to seek clarity, discernment, and courage moving forward. I promise this post won’t be the last though, but I’ll see you next year. 😉
🕊️
Here are some of the things that I am believing and manifesting for 2024:
– new places for a wider perspective
– new faces for more fellowship
– new challenges for personal growth
– new opportunities for helping others
– new me for a renewed purpose
– new spiritual family (Hello, Victory Sorsogon!)
BUT the same God working in every one of these. 🙏🙂
“Thank You, Father God, for You have remained faithful in every season. Thank You most of all for Your love and the gift of salvation. Indeed, You are more than enough. May my lifecontinue to bring You honor and gloryuntil my mission here on Earth is finished. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33
“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.
Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.”
There’s a lot of tension and anxiety going on as Israel prepares for urban warfare against the militant group Hamas in Gaza. Yes, every day we see death. And yet, seeing them increase by the thousands every passing week can be too much to bear.
I’ve been keeping myself busy trying to avoid the news as I see photos and videos of the tragedy that has fallen upon the men, women, children, and elderly in the Middle East. I do not want to take any sides, so let me just instead offer a prayer to families who are grieving and those who are trying to survive. As we wait for the Lord, we pray. 🙏
Lord, please deliver us from the woes of war.
May God turn His face towards His people. May He give us the peace that we seek every day from the battles inside and around us. May His ears not be deaf to our pleas and our cries for help. May He end this suffering once and for all. And yet not our will, but His will be done in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4
I woke up today feeling all nostalgic when I saw a notification here on WordPress. It’s another achievement unlocked – today’s my blog’s anniversary.
And I can’t help but smile and thank God for the 11 years of being a storyteller, sharing the Good News, and just being me. 😉
Thank you to my WordPress community for making my blogging experience so worthwhile. This is where my purpose as a writer started, and hopefully will not end here, either.
As long as I’m breathing, I will keep on writing. Thanks be to God for this wonderful gift. 🙏
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
The Journeyman's Moments 