Looking Forward to Another Season: New Spiritual Family

Posted on June 24, 2017 by Christine Lailani

Today I woke up feeling decided to join a new spiritual family – the clarity of instructions is there. Yes, hubby and I transferred cities and I allotted 3-4 months for us to comfortably settle and get acquainted with the place, in commuting, and with the entire community. I spent half of my life in Quezon City and when I got married, hubby and I thought it best we relocate to a place near his workplace which is in Makati City.

I was born-again and had my baby steps in faith in Victory GT Toyota but the Spirit moved in me first in Victory Fort when my brother invited me to attend one of the church services there. Victory Fort may be near our place now but Victory Pioneer is nearer. This will be my first time to attend church services here and I am looking forward to what God has called me out in this new spiritual family.

It actually doesn’t matter in which church God has called you but for me, I personally chose to grow spiritually in the church where He called me to serve first. My home church where I attend services every time I am in my home town in the province is United Church of Christ in the Philippines – Bulan Evangelical Church. I attended services here from childhood until high school along with my siblings, parents, grandma, and relatives.

When I came here in Manila to study in college, I honestly admit that I wasn’t part of any spiritual family and this most probably explained why college days for me were a sure ride of emotional roller coaster. Not until I graduated in college and still a bit later did I find myself taking heed of the Spirit’s calling.

Since 2012 until 2016, I have been growing spiritually with my Victory Quezon City family and this year, I am all set to grow with yet another spiritual family. I am just grateful the church offers these online services wherein volunteering in a ministry and joining a bible study/fellowship group are just a click away. Ah, praise God for technology, more and more ways to advance God’s kingdom are popping up alongside the advancements in technology too.

So I’ll wrap up this article with screenshots just to give you a glimpse of the early morning activity that transpired today along with these verses:

Volunteering in a ministry. 🙂

Bible Study Group

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” – Romans 12:4-5

“For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.” – Ephesians 4:4-6

My prayer to you, my dearest brothers and sisters, is that may you find joy in serving the Lord and others in whichever season and in whatever niche He has called you to serve out of love for the Father who gave us a new life and out of love for others. ❤

Roasted Chicken A la Bicolana

Posted on June 20, 2017 by Christine Lailani

I was supposed to write this article last December but the holiday rush, preparation and celebration with the family kept me from doing so.

This article though came in timely as my previous articles for this month were all about gifts (not your usual gift in a box with a ribbon) and the value of serving others through your gifts. I actually didn’t expect that last Sunday’s lecture will also be about that. Ah yes, it always is a wonder how things can be intertwined all because of God’s mysterious ways. 🙂

What is serving and how can we serve in a biblical sense?

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:45

“…and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:27-28

And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ – Matthew 25:40

I believe one way of honoring God and showing our thanks to Him is by sharing that love to others too. Let’s just say that you felt how much God loves you and it is just too wonderful to keep it to yourself that’s why you wanted to let others know and feel that kind of love as well.

In doing so, they might wonder what is it that’s been fueling your actions and though they might not understand it at first, this can be your perfect response – out of love.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

In the aspect of serving, we do find ourselves doing that knowingly or unknowingly with our families first and foremost. So last Christmas, I thought about preparing this roasted chicken recipe which was the first in the family’s Christmas celebration tradition.

Do take note though that I am no chef. lol 😀

I was just inspired and taught by my 3 older sisters who are very good in the kitchen and have such superb cooking skills they can invent their own recipe. Yup, no kidding. They really are that good.

Being the youngest, I grew up being the dishwasher. Haha Yes, you won’t believe it but my brother and I take turns in washing the dishes when we were younger. We are the two youngest members in the family, by the way.

On a side note, I just love being in a big family. You might not get to see or talk to all of them at the same time, yet you’ll still have one sibling to bug about every week aside from your parents. 😀

Anyway, as for my roasted chicken recipe, let’s just say I combined all the roasted chicken recipes I could find over the internet and came up with a “hybrid” roasted chicken. 😉

Roasted Chicken A la Bicolana

Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 whole chicken

1 bunch of lemongrass

1 cup butter

½ cup tomato ketchup

1 cup soy sauce

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

3 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons salt

5 cloves whole garlic

2 teaspoons slightly crushed black pepper

4 onions cut into 4 parts

Procedure:

Combine all the ingredients except for butter.
Place the onions, garlic and lemongrass inside the chicken and marinate overnight.
Prepare the butter and remaining marinade for basting.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees Farenheit and cook for about 1 hour or until the chicken is tender.
Top it with garnishing, serve and enjoy!

I intend to make this a yearly tradition – out of love for God, love for family and joy in serving others. 🙂

P.S.

Oh and one mistake from the roasted chicken recipe – don’t prepare 1 roasted chicken ONLY especially when there are about 8 persons hoping to try it. lol

I was expecting it to be served as an additional dish along with other meals but it became the main course – ooopps, my mistake. So yes, Mom wasn’t able to try it as she ate late and sadly, no roasted chicken leftover. I have this year to make up for it though. 😀

One thing more, the turbo broiler is a kitchen winner for me, nothing beats. ❤

Turbo Broiler Moment

A Family’s Love

Posted on May 25, 2017 by Christine Lailani

Before anything else, I’d like to take this moment in sharing my sympathies and offer my prayers to all the bereaved families who have lost loved ones in the recent events that took place in Marawi City here in the Philippines and in Manchester, England. To give hope and assurance, I’d like to share this random bible verse from my quiet time a few days back before I learned about said events:

“The Lord will mediate between peoples and will settle disputes between strong nations far away. They will hammer their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will no longer fight against nation, nor train for war anymore.” – Micah 4:3

——————-

A family’s love, next to God’s, sustains an individual through all the trials, pain and suffering. I could never imagine growing up without mentors in the likeness of my parents and siblings. They are not just my regular life coaches but they are my spiritual mentors too. Thus, I am forever grateful to God for the gift of family.

How does a family start?

IMG_20170525_073500_729

Yes, a family begins from a marriage. I can only thank God for giving both me and my husband families that are whole and complete. But this is also equated to greater responsibilities for both me and my husband in raising our own future family in the same way.

“Bring (your children) up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

Nope, our families were never perfect. They are as flawed as you and me. But if there’s one thing in which my appreciation goes beyond having a complete family, it is the fact that despite these flaws, they have struggled, fought and sacrificed in keeping all of us together and the family whole not only because it is mandated by God but out of their love for Him and their love for us.

“You and your families will feast in the presence of the Lord your God, and you will rejoice in all you have accomplished because the Lord your God has blessed you.” – Deuteronomy 12:7

As this quotation goes,

Screenshot_20170525-080314

Keeping a marriage is challenging and it’s even more challenging building a family, a strong one. I really have such admiration for married couples who have aged gracefully though battle-tested through time and whose children’s lives are a success not in terms of achievements but whose lives reflect that of faith, hope and LOVE.

These are the things that are hard to achieve in this world on our own, but easier when you have a God who makes the impossible possible. Thus, I won’t be keeping this post long, for a change. 😉

I am honoring our families by sharing this and these photos, a pack of imperfect individuals but chose to honor God through the trials and suffering and the joys and happiness.

Me and my in-laws. 🙂

Me and my family a.k.a. “The Homebodies.” 😉

From our families to yours, I pray that God will be honored always along the way in every way – every family needs Him.

“But if you refuse to serve the LORD, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live?

But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.” – Joshua 24:15

Resting in His Saving and Amazing Grace

Posted on May 19, 2017 by Christine Lailani

“Do one thing: Live the life you always wanted to live. Avoid criticizing others and concentrate on fulfilling your dreams. This may not seem very important to you, but God, who sees all, knows that the example you give is helping Him to improve the world. And each day, He will bestow more blessings upon it.”

– Manuscript of Accra, Paulo Coehlo

I can see the cursor blinking in and out like an ellipsis….

So many words and yet so many ways to tell, undecided…

….how do I begin? 🙂

Yes, how do I begin testifying to a series of events that piled up already and yet I couldn’t find the “tugging” to post them until just now? *wink* Honestly, I still don’t have the slightest idea how to arrange the thoughts which have been sitting as a draft since February here in WordPress and share them. Yet I can only trust the Spirit’s leading on how the wordplay will come about in this post.

The posts in this blog for the past 2-3 years have been about nothing else but faith. This was how God intended it to be. Though for the first year of this blog I was grappling on what to write about, now, it is the other way around – I am battling with time for the numerous pending posts that I needed to write and post.

For March, it’ll summarize what went on from February until March. My January post summarized what transpired in the months of December and January. The month of March was about marching forward and yes, the character trait for March is CLARITY. As for February, it was AFFECTION (do read January post for this one.) 🙂

February: AFFECTION

March: CLARITY

This might explain why I was missing in the blogosphere for the month of February and why this post is super long (sorry about that, friends). February was the month of settling things – again, not a coincidence, but I have learned to rely on God’s plans all along even though some are hard to accept, some are hard to understand, and some are impossible to achieve. But then, that is one tough responsibility of a Christian and that is everyone’s calling too – live by faith and not by sight.

Last December, everything was unraveled. It was a moment of choosing among a multitude of choices and tough decisions. Every flaw, every need and every concern were brought out in the open. I have thought for that moment it might seem such an endless feat of emotional roller coaster and yet God had been faithful enough.

Fast forward to January, the start of 2017 was also the start of the turnaround of events. When seasons change and the comfort zone is no longer part of the next plans, it could be daunting. But as it was written, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

February was a month jam-packed of events. When you are caught in a whirlwind of events, oftentimes a “soul check” may come as the least of your priorities. But in faith, it is the other way around – a “soul check” is necessary and should be the top priority before everything else. That was what happened in the last few months, a question of am I doing it God’s way or not. I’ll just mention a few and most of them actually were answered prayers – prayers that I never thought I have prayed and yet silently in my heart, I did. Only God sees our hearts, anyway.

Maybe that is the reason why fulfillment in those answered prayers never really came from receiving the actual answer to the prayer per se but more about how God listens and how great He is to provide even the most impossible. It was all about God in the end, never about our desires but a satisfied desire on both our end and God’s that thru this fulfillment, we have established a kindred spirit and a deeper and personal relationship with our Creator. It is all a matter of communicating between Him and you alone – the ONLY thing that He asks from us.

So let’s begin the long journey of disclosing in this online journal what traversed in my moment of hibernation in the blogosphere starting February.

The incident:

A convo between my husband and I took place wherein I asked him what is it that he wants best in this life. His answer made me smile and speechless at the same time making me wonder where he could possibly be generating all these answers. My best guess – the heart. Who really am I to judge, indeed? I don’t see the heart, God does. 😉

“I don’t want material things but eternal rest.”

We came to that point wherein we had that (serious) husband and wife contemplation about priorities, the future and life in general. I can say that throughout the moments since I got saved, I did not regret any decision I have made which included my decision to marry. It is only through the entire duration of our years together as a married couple did I get to see why God gave me my husband in particular – I had so many answered prayers through my husband. It is either an answered prayer to that change I have been rooting to do internally but don’t have the guts to discipline myself or the big and small things that I have been wanting in my heart but never expressed them openly.

But God, once again, proved Himself faithful all throughout.

I have always wondered what if I married another man. Will he be patient, understanding and forgiving enough as my husband is right now to me and my circumstances? I oftentimes ask my husband how he feels regarding our situation and ask him to be patient with me as well and what I am going through. His answer was always a gentle, “I understand.” Though he would always say that, I know that he is sacrificing so much for both of us and as his partner, I have felt this inadequacy when it comes to fulfilling my role and my duties as a wife.

Starting the month of January until now, this was personally, for me, a season of instability. Firstly, every married couple gets to deal with financial difficulties and this season, my husband and I are going through with our own fair share. We have decided to finally move out from the apartment that my sisters and I have been living in for the past 20 years though it was only me who lived in the place for the last 7 years. We have decided to relocate near his workplace as it is more convenient for him and he gets to rest right away after work.

But this posed as a problem since I have no work when we both decided to move out and we are relying on my husband’s income alone for our daily expenses. If you’ll do the numbers from bills to necessities plus all the home stuff that we have to buy, the total suggested more funds. I did get a job. It was a convenient one but, unfortunately, it was not from my field of expertise and ironically, my water loo too – finance. Yes, it has something to do with numbers and money.

If you are wondering how I ended up in that job, I don’t know too. 😀 But I know God has a reason why because I got that job just 3 days after we moved in our new apartment. We were able to buy some of the basic stuff that we need at home. But as you all know it, I had to let the job go. I will not be able to give my best if it is something that I am not familiar with or is not my cup of tea. Numbers make me cringe and the fear of committing a mistake when it comes to computing plus the fact that it deals with money just proved that I might regret it later if I stayed longer. Another thing too, the worry of it all just took the better part of me and stress replaced what used to be a hopeful and positive attitude – I first thought I should give it a try. Employment equates to stress but when I started having stomach problems, difficulty sleeping at night and puking for no reason at all, I know I have to make a decision.

I wanted to go back to teaching. It was actually the very reason I stated when I resigned. The calling of being a teacher is greater. But then again, we all know that a teaching job is even more challenging when it comes to classroom management, multitasking, time management, etc. Again, no employment is ever easy and stress-free. But then again, I did want to try it out. Here came the opportunity – I had everything carefully and perfectly planned out so I’d get the job. But here came unprecedented circumstances which for the first few, I was able to gain control over but it required my husband and me to stay up until past midnight. I was able to pull it off. The next day I woke up with my estimated schedule. Everything should be smooth sailing until news came that the MRT 3 broke down and became operational only at 8am. I didn’t give up. If commuting was not an option then I’d go for the GRAB car – I was wrong. Since majority of the stranded commuters chose other alternatives of commuting, traffic was inevitable and it was worse than the usual. I decided by then that I had to let the opportunity go because it only means that it wasn’t intended for me. If I still pursued it then most likely I’ll be going against the grain of fate and will meet more unfortunate events along the way.

I am well aware of the idea to keep on swimming ahead even if the vision before you is hazy or the waters seem to be too deep and troubled or the shore is nowhere to be seen, figuratively speaking. But I am also well aware that from what I have experienced so far, if everything seems to be failing even if you have tried all possible attempts in getting things right, it only means it is beyond your control and God has intended a different plan for you. It could be God’s way of preventing you from any future loss/failure, future pain, even more hassle and inconvenience than intended.

So I asked God why I can’t have a regular office job. That moment of quietude with Him and me asking all these sort of questions trying to make sense of what has happened and what is happening came to a final halt – a matter of life and death.

I have already mentioned this a couple of times in my previous blog posts and health wise, I know I have nothing to fear. In the recent medical checkup I came clear but if I am not cautious enough i.e. check my lifestyle, sleeping patterns, food intake, physical activity, etc., and all these accumulated through the years could mean my ending up in a hospital bed earlier than expected.

I have to be cautious with everything.

I am not claiming it but I know it as a fact that I am a carrier of cancer genes. It was a generational curse – it didn’t skip a generation starting from my great grandmother (we don’t know if it started even way before her generation) to my grandmother then to my Mom. They were all breast cancer survivors. Most likely you’ll tell me I will survive too. 🙂

Yes, by faith and by God’s saving grace I know I will. But then it should not be reason enough for me to be complacent. My great grandmother, grandmother and Mom spent most of their lives in the province – a laid back lifestyle, pure simplicity, a fresh and clean environment and less complicated than city life. I spent half of my life in the metro starting college which was the opposite.

Again. I have to be more cautious.

If you will notice, I referred to breast cancer in the past tense because I am declaring that starting from my generation, not one among my 3 sisters and I will have breast cancer how many years from now and that the future generations of our family will be free of this generational curse.

There’s another generational curse too that I am declaring for my family and relatives and the future generations in our blood line to be free from starting with our generation but due to its sensitivity, I chose to keep it confidential.

These generational curses have no cure – ONLY God can deliver us from these curses. Not even the fields of medicine and science have the capacity to provide a lasting treatment/solution.

But,

“We can face the reality of our own mortality because we trust in God.” – Our Daily Bread

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12

Another thing too, my husband and I have been trying to have a child but time declared we can’t have one as of yet. We did talk about it and he told me that whatever God’s will is, he is happy and content either way.

That, I absolutely and unquestioningly agree upon. I did tell him though that as much as I’d want to have a child, I wouldn’t want to raise a child and let him suffer in this world or be punished for the mistakes that his parents did or bear the generational curse passed on to him. If part of the sacrifice that we have to make in order to break the generational curse is to be childless, then we have to honor it.

But then again, it entirely depends on what God’s will is and what His plans are. Indeed,

“As you do not know the way the Spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.” – Ecclesiastes 11:5

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

The generational curses and the current situation my husband and I are going through both have one thing in common – stress as the triggering factor.

Looking back to what I had to give up, they were standards that this world dictated as what should be accomplished and yet it all equated to stress. When I gave up my graduate study, I asked myself if it is worth it especially when my eczema attacks started showing up again, I had to deal with black spots in my legs which lasted for how many months and I experienced tension headaches/migraines which lasted for 3 days twice a month. I also had to give up the liberty and privilege of working in the corporate world or in my field of expertise.

Do I have regrets? Certainly not. My decision to not conform to the terms of this world won’t rob me of my dignity and make me less of a woman, will it? My identity no longer is attached to those titles that this world offer but to the title that God has given me – His princess and His loving daughter.

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My situation now? God showed me other alternatives. I know God did not give me skills just to see them all go to waste until I die and not be able to contribute to this world and help humanity in any way – it’ll make Him unhappy. 😀 I told my husband he need not worry because there are a lot of home-based jobs available for me in the fields of teaching and writing, my two best fortes, if I really need to get a professional job as a means to get an income. There are so many of them actually in different fields of expertise and if I will be “takaw tingin,” I’d prefer having at least 2 since their schedules are usually flexible. BUT, God will definitely say “No.” 😀

In addition, I have witnessed a lot of female friends who shifted from being corporate employees to staying at home, being a full-time Mom and housewife with a home-based job, stressed also but FULFILLED receiving the same salary that she gets if she works in the office spending energy and time commuting, coming home extremely exhausted and has no time for her family.

Yes, fulfillment makes all the difference, right? Even if you are paid triple of what a regular wage earner gets if the fulfillment isn’t there, work will just be equated to work per se in all technical aspect of the term. Aside from that, “whatever it is that our hearts value, there our treasure will be also.” The bad thing about this is if we’re putting our hope on treasures that are temporary and will eventually fade away. Building relationships with people I love are important to me – quality time is my love language. I want to invest more in it – being with my family.

What else?

As of the late, my husband asked me if I could do commissioned work for my sketching hobby after I posted the sketch (next blog article) I did of him during his birthday last May 4. He told me that one of his Mom’s friends asked if I could do their family portrait and his Mom and brother also requested the same along with a few of my relatives and friends ever since I posted some of my previous sketches. My answer was an unsure “let’s see.” 😀

If God gives us a talent as a gift, He has a very good purpose behind it all and honestly, I am not yet confident enough to take my sketching hobby to a higher level. 😀 It’s been 15 years since I started this hobby out of my need to have an outlet when things and times get rough. I am not confident as well to tag a price in each of my art work. I intended to give them for free actually and make the recipient of the art work happy – my ultimate goal as an artist. But if God instructs I have them paid, then I believe I should. Now this, I need to really pray hard as I don’t want to disappoint those who have requested to have their sketches done and there are a lot of them pending requests already. I just need more time to pray to God about it and wait for His answers. *insert wide smile here*

Another opportunity also came about my putting up a restaurant/café after hubby and I made this special burger recipe and his brother insisted we make it as a business as he knows someone who can be our supplier. I told him we talked about this option but we have chosen my hometown in Bicol as our business location – yup, you guessed that right, too far. My 3^rd sister and I have actually planned about this already and came up with the concept for the café and went through the basics of business analytics and management and the only thing she said was that it won’t materialize if I am not there with her to get things started and to keep them running. One of my hobbies is cooking and experimenting with different recipes but eating the food I cooked is not part of them. lol I believe I am to blame if hubby gained a lot of weight after we got married. Ooops, not my real intention there though. 😀 I just want to cook for other people and it makes me happy when they are happy with the dishes I serve them. Again, this is another prayer for my prayer line when it comes to wisdom, guidance and instruction.

Honestly, I was never after the money nor the recognition – getting compensated for the things I love to do and the things that God has gifted me with in terms of talents and skills. I’d like to contribute and share them to society and be able to make every individual happy and fulfilled or if what I contributed could help them in any other way regardless if I’d get anything in return or not (awards, recognition, money, etc.). I only needed money for survival and for now, that is what my hubby and I needed – for our daily needs but never to satisfy our wants and live in excess.

Moreover, I told my husband that if time comes God blessed us with more than we needed, I will retain the kind of lifestyle I have now and would still prefer the same living conditions – not a lavish nor grand lifestyle but a simple, minimalist one. Again, by having only the things that I need and never the things that I want.

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Mark 10:21

But as we all know it, I can plan so many things, have so many choices and wonderful opportunities to choose from and small and big decisions to make and yet, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” – Proverbs 19:21

Thus, I rest my case. 😀

For all the generational curses, the lifestyle check, the shift in opportunities, the continued pursuit of God’s will in my life – they were not because I live in fear but because I have fear in the Lord and if obedience is what He requires of me in this season so He can usher me towards what He desires for my life, then I should, by all means comply, stop figuring out this life on my own and rest in His saving grace.

Solution? Pray harder and trust God and His plans even harder.

[In prayer we call on God “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.”] – Ephesians 3:20

Oh and I think I forgot to mention that in my Paulo Coehlo planner-turned-spiritual journal, April’s character trait is COOPERATION and May is FAITH.

April: COOPERATION

May: FAITH

Did God say, “Tin, you must cooperate with me and have faith?” I think He just did that’s why I wrote this. *insert wide smile here again* 😀

“Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” – 2 Corinthians 7:1

P.S.

For the first quarter of year 2017, my life/planner went from having TOLERANCE (January), giving AFFECTION (February), to achieving CLARITY (March), giving COOPERATION (April) and last but not the least, having FAITH (May). 🙂

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm for God can be trusted to keep His promises.” – Hebrews 10:23

“God can be trusted to guide us.” – Our Daily Bread

“…the challenge is to trust (in) God’s ability to lead rather than in our ability to follow.” – Genesis 12:1

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Year 2017: Everything Made New

Posted on January 31, 2017 by Christine Lailani

Vindicated is the world’s term for it, redeemed is how faith coins it.

This article was sitting as a draft since November. But I only had the urge to finish writing it today because a lot more happened after November. So for the month of December I didn’t publish any article – a moment of solitude and immersion in faith. 🙂

There’s social unrest in the decision of current president of the Philippines, President Duterte, and the supreme court to allow the remains of a dictator and former President of the Philippines Ferdinand Marcos to be buried in the Libingan ng mga Bayani or be given a hero’s burial. It was an unfair decision to most considering all the human rights violation committed, plunder and social injustice in all forms when the country was placed under martial law during the Marcos regime.

It doesn’t seem such a reasonable, sensitive and acceptable answer by comforting the victims of martial law and their families by the statement “forgive and move on.” If you are to ask my side, I chose to settle it with God instead – not my terms but His.

I went thru a similar situation myself about two months ago, so please bear with me if this part will be a bit sensitive and emotional. It was just one of those heated disagreements between me and hubby. Through this challenging situation, it was heartbreaking to hear your spouse renounce his faith and even curse God which made me speak against my faith too. Yes, it was a very sad moment between us which turned into something worse that our families needed to meddle to stop the damage from getting bigger. Hubby and I decided we live separately for the meantime for our own safety and for the sake of saving our marriage.

When I went to the province, I was given the wrong ticket for the first time in my entire 15 years of traveling back and forth going home. Can you guess what was the wrong ticket amount? It’s 888. 😀 Yes, I interpreted it as an assurance that the Lord, our God, is indeed with us we need not worry.

How ironic it is though that my husband’s surname is Rome. Jesus’ number one persecutor is none other than the Romans. 🙂 They tried to gain control over Jesus but in the end they were the ones defeated when He overcame death. Jesus symbolizes the church, if not, He is the church. In a marriage, the wife is the church.

This clearly illustrates how man tried to separate from God/church/wife because of the sins and that only Jesus can bridge this gap so the relationship between man and God will be restored. This is just like when Israel rebelled against God and how God tried to make them turn to Him.

What happened was this, God made my relationship something to learn from and yet just like the martial law victims whose rights were violated, God will be the only one with the authority and the power to judge anyone.

They say that when you are deeply hurting, God is creating something wonderful in you and He is veering you away from possible destruction. Yet, it always starts with humility and forgiveness. Just like in this quote from my Our Daily Bread daily devotion, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. – C.S. Lewis”

For the two months that we have been apart, I persevered in assuring my husband that tho I have agreed we live separately for the time being, it doesn’t mean I am giving up on him and our marriage. It is indeed true that for all that we have been through, not once did I give up on our relationship and our marriage and I never will. The first thing that came to my mind during this season was the “love dare” from one of the greatest Christian films I have watched about marriages which is Fireproof.

Just like in the movie, I too am extremely grateful right now that God gave me a family whom I deeply appreciate being mentors in this ordeal who lead me to God and towards the right path. It was difficult to hear and choose from a lot of different prespectives but they did help a lot in widening my mindset about a lot of things through the Spirit’s guidance.

It wasn’t God’s goal that He’ll give you the perfect spouse because your husband/wife will fail you in the entire course of your marriage. This is not because God wants to see us suffer but He wanted to see how we will honor our commitment to Him and to our spouse, how will we continue fighting for our faith towards the beautiful promises that He has and last but not the least, to love unconditionally in the same way that He has loved us. We were born sinners, we are imperfect and we have been saved only by GRACE – something that we did not deserve but was given as a gift out of His great love for us.

I remembered a few years back when a male colleague actually confronted me with a startling confession, “Tin, no guy will ever be a match for you. You are talented, beautiful, almost everything.” I couldn’t give him a fair answer except that I wasn’t created by God to be someone’s or anybody’s rival. I was made as a man’s partner, as equal and as unique as everyone else. I, as a woman, do not have high standards or maybe I do but it doesn’t matter because what matters is that we have a God who has REALLY high standards and these are the standards that we ought to meet – not mine, not yours, but His.

So for two months I can say a lot have happened. But for the general feel of those two months, I can describe it as very painful and yet it was life-changing. As expected, I got a new Paulo Coehlo planner during the start of the year. This is my brother and sister-in-law’s consistent Christmas gift for me which, I must say, I appreciate a lot as my spiritual journey won’t be complete without it. This planner and I shared a lot of memories and it records all of my prayers, requests, letters of gratitude, revelations and daily bible verses from YouVersion and Our Daily Bread apps.

We also have a prayer and fasting in church at the start of the year and I must say too it was during this time that I had the greatest revelation from yes, the book of Revelation itself. 🙂

At first I did find it funny. I mean, even before, God’s ways are always amazing. He is so full of surprises. Most often these surprises will make you cry in awe – I always do. But it also made me humble – humble enough to acknowledge how could I have questioned God’s plans. It’s as if I am hearing Jesus when He said to His disciples, “you who have such little faith.” Well, when prayer time comes and I do get to talk with God, I feel all too guilty of this. However, His love and grace remain steadfast and true – it sets you free and it gives you a new chance in life always.

I shared this testimony exactly after the prayer and fasting ended. When I went home to my province last December, no one was left to tend my little garden. I just have faith that God will take good care of them for me in the same way He takes care of the wild forests. When I came back in January, true enough, my plants were flourishing except for one – the oldest plant I have since 2005 which is a calamansi plant. It doesn’t bear any fruit probably because there’s no other calamansi plant around that can pollinate it.

All the leaves of my calamansi plant were curled and dried up. My sister was the one who noticed it first and asked me what happened. We both could not explain as the rest of my plants were thriving. So she said maybe a fungus attacked the roots and I thought that it could very well be the reason. She suggested I throw the plant away. I thought it best too as it’ll be absurd keeping a dead plant in your garden. 😀

But on second thoughts, I have decided to keep it. I did water it for a day or two after we got back but when I saw that the leaves are really all dried up and they were starting to fall off one by one, I stopped watering it for about 2 weeks except for the occasional rainshowers but still chose to keep it. I just don’t know why I still kept it. 🙂

Anyway, for the month of November the character trait in my planner was patience, December was determination and January 2017 is tolerance. Nope, it is not an irony these traits are exactly what I needed to learn in the season I was in but I believe they’re all part of His plans. I have remained hopeful and faithful for the time when my husband will be saved and for the time when we will be together again. Ah yes, those grueling two months of being apart and you felt that your life was in shambles and what you have with you is nothing else but faith.

I asked God for forgiveness, that He would change me and yet I asked Him for strength and courage too. I know God is changing my hubby too. It is always between God and the person and that the people around are used only as vessels for God to allow that change to take place. I was claiming that the year 2017 will be the start of a lot of positive changes for all even if we seem to have lost everything. I am believing too that more unbelieving spouses will rise in the calling that God has for them to be Godly husbands and wives and Godly parents to their children. I am praying that the generations to come will learn from the generational curses that have been set and passed on to them by their ancestors and they will break free from them through the Cross.

As much as I’d want to share every single detail of those two months that I can say God was purifying me thus made me choose a white dress for Christmas day (see photo below), I would like to share the following bible verses, quotations in my daily devotion, articles I came across and questions I have asked God wherein I have felt much of the Spirit’s presence in what I was and am going through until now. I hope you will be blessed by them too in whatever season you are in. These verses came one by one consistently everyday. 🙂

P.S.

Don’t forget to read the last part – I have good news to tell. 😉

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..” – Proverbs 3:5

“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

“Give your burdens to the LORD, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” – Psalm 55:2

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” – John 15:4

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” – Hebrews 12:2

Lord, teach me how to carry my own cross and how to carry it well.

“This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.”- 1 Peter 3:3‭-‬6

“God is at work to make us who He intends us to be.” – Our Daily Bread

“Hear the word of the Lord.” – Jeremiah 7: 2

“I am making everything new.” – Revelation 21:5

“The word of the Lord never fails.” – Luke 1:3

“But seek first the Kingdom of God and live righteously and He will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33

“Only Jesus can give us new life.” (John 14:19)

“Christ will never leave His wife. Ever. There may be times of painful distance and tragic backsliding on our part. But Christ keeps His covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that! That is the most ultimate thing we can say about it.”

– http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/staying-married-is-not-about-staying-in-love-part-1

A display of His greatness.

I often wonder if my life was patterned after every devotion I am using – every bible verse, every Godly wisdom shared, I felt applying them all for real for they were all timely in every event that I am going through.

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor.” – 1 Peter 5:6

Why choose me, Lord?

Who am I to question God and His ways?

“Let others see your testimony as well as hear it.” – Our Daily Bread (2 Corinthians 4:7)

For I prefer Lord for my faith to be tested like iron is being forged in fire. For I do not intend to be lukewarm in my faith.

“There is no risk in abandoning ourselves to God.” (Romans 12:1)

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. – C.S. Lewis” (Romans 7:14)

“But the Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:3

“Christ holds all things together.” (Colossians 1:17)

Now we’re on to the last part of this article which I was referring to previously. So what’s the good news? Well, God’s grace made it possible for our marriage to be restored and we are on to an absolutely new chapter of our lives as a married couple. A new chapter indeed because we are finally deciding to relocate to a place near his work, I am going back to the work force and I just felt real change within me and my spouse. At first I was apprehensive about this change but if God brought us here, then He will help us go through it all as well.

As my husband put it (yes, my husband. 😀 ), God is good. 🙂

Oh and yes, remember the plant that died which I still kept? After 2 weeks, this is how it looks now – new leaves. It’s alive! “The old is gone and the new has come and I am making everything new” indeed as what the Lord says. All it took was FAITH. 😀

To end this article, I’ll share this bible verse which was from my laptop’s screensaver yesterday (it displays a different bible verse everyday). Yet another revelation from the book of Revelation:

“Because you have obeyed my command to persevere, I will protect you from the great time of testing that will come upon the whole world to test those who belong to this world.” – Revelation 3:10

Oh how I love my God. ❤ *insert wide smile here*

Continue fighting the good fight of faith my dear brothers and sisters. 🙂

Sweet Groanings of the Heart in The 4th Year Anniversary Special

Posted on October 21, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Before anything else, I’d like to share this insightful article from Forbes especially for the young professionals:

“The Top 5 Regrets of Mid-Career Professionals”

So my Mom and I had a serious heart-to-heart talk about some things especially about my graduate study. It’s been taking far too long years are passing by fast and it seems I haven’t done anything productive at all nor made significant improvements not just in it but in my life in general.

So questions like what are your plans, what do you want to do now, where do you want to be when you get older, etc. came popping up.

Truth is, I wasn’t totally pleased with how my life has faired throughout these years. To most people it seems like I have wasted 6 years to nothing. But I think I am going to take back that word “displeased” because doing a self-assessment, I am happier in those 6 years wherein I am in a limbo and in shambles or I thought I was.

First and most importantly, I found God along the way – I was born again. Second, I found love in this world and my better half unexpectedly – I got married. Lastly, a lot of changes happened internally – major heart reconstruction. These 3 are now my priorities which I was called to serve first.

So my Mom went on, “As parents we only wanted what is best for all of you and your siblings, a better and more successful life.”

I do appreciate this kind of love from my parents. I know when I become a parent I wanted what is best for my kids too.

She continued, “If you wanted to have a simple life though, nothing is wrong with that.”

Now this I loved from her even more. So I smiled and agreed:

“Yes Mommy, that is all I ever wanted in this life. I actually wanted to go back home in our province and raise my family there if God wills it. We wouldn’t have these ideals and values in life if it wasn’t for the humble beginnings of you and Dad in which you have raised us all. City life has far too much temptations and is way complicated.

I want my kids to have the same values and ideals in life too and I think I won’t be able to do that if they will grow up seeing that Brian and I pursue what this world offers as the meaning of success like wealth, possessions, achievements and titles.”

A “higher” and more successful position/career requires more time at work and more work load. This is practically what graduate studies are for – promotion at work and/or career advancement. I may be earning much and I now have a title that society declares as prestigious but I have less time with my family because either I am too tired when I get home, I am bringing work at home or I have longer working hours in the office. My kids will only be young once and my husband is my top priority next to God.

Then memories of the day I had my altar call which was during the Singles’ Getaway in church back in year 2012 reminded me once again about what Pastor Dennis Sy discussed regarding priorities. He shared an experience between him and his wife who wanted to pursue her dream to become a medical doctor.

What he said made a mark in me as well (paraphrased already),

“Your degree/profession won’t be able to hug you in times that you are sad nor will it be beside you in times of trouble. But I can.”

She chose to let go. Priorities-wise, when we are called to be married and have families, they are to be on top. Indeed, these are the sacrifices that born-again spouses and parents have to make when it comes to priorities. I have read an article (I couldn’t exactly remember the title) by Mrs. Marie Bonifacio, wife of Pastor Joey, regarding the hierarchy of priorities: God, spouse, family, career and ministry.

A great reminder. ❤

I love God, I love my spouse and I love my family – these are what matters in my case now. My career will have to come next and maybe my other ambitions will have to fade away. I am still seeking for God’s direction in this area though, a period of patiently waiting and enduring.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” – Matthew 6:34

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

There are those who were called to a life of leadership and excellence in the corporate world and professional industry among men and women alike. There are also those who were called to serve the ministry. There are those too who were called to serve their families. These are just some of the areas we were called to serve and we all fall in either of those categories one way or the other.

I believe this is the season that God is slowly clearing the view from obstacles so I could walk the path straight and yet asking me to get even closer and more in tune with Him. I trust God that He will guide me and my future family according to His plans. It may mean denying myself what this world offers at this point going against the norm and maybe going against the wishes of many which can be heartbreaking but I know in the end it will all glorify God.

I am, in fact, happier where God has put me now as long as it gives Him all the Glory and Honor He deserves. 🙂

“Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6

P.S.

This might be my last post for this year or for a couple more years even (only God knows) because I am planning to do a social media hibernation in most of my social media accounts for I don’t know how long as part of my personal prayer and fasting. There is so much I need to pray for in my life including my current health condition, my family, my country and this world and I need to seek for God’s will and instructions without distractions and temptations just like what Jesus did.

So I am temporarily ending my 4-year activity in blogosphere and passing on the baton to the new generation of faith-based bloggers. Today’s the 4th year anniversary of this blog too and I got this notification the other day about reaching 500 readers who stayed patient enough in reading this faith-based blog. Kind of a great way to end a season, eh? *wink* I believe this particular season has come to a temporary halt and God is calling me to a new season, a new task. Who knows, I might be back in just a week. lol 😀

( To God be all the Glory!)

But I am definitely sure I will be reconnected with you all again in God’s perfect time. So ciao for now my dear readers. Keep praying, keep on blogging and keep the faith always! ❤ 🙂

What We and This World Need

Posted on October 20, 2016 by Christine Lailani

#LumadRally #TyphoonHaima #LawinPH #DrugWar #WarInOtherCountries #Terrorism #HumanTrafficking #Poverty #Corruption #ComplicatedPolitics #Disaster #Violence

My husband and I seldom watch the news anymore. Not that we do not want to be involved in the affairs of our country and the world. It is the opposite actually – I love my country and the world too much. But happenings as of late are becoming much of a burden to the soul and aggression is starting to creep in. Being the empathetic person that I am, seeing the current issues my country and the world are facing now is enough to make you shed tears. No, I am not depressed nor hopeless or on the verge of breaking down. But words unspoken and yet too much to bear go to my tear ducts instead. lol 😀

Ah yes, I am trying to see the good of it all. Whatever hope that I get, I wanted to share it. We cannot disregard everything that goes around because this is the society we live in. As responsible citizens, we more or less have a role to fulfill may it be directly or indirectly. We were all created to be catalysts of social change. Jesus was sent in this world to be one. As His followers and as sons and daughters of God, we are to be Christlike in every manner, fulfilling the assigned tasks that we all needed to fulfill.

I have posted in one of my Facebook posts this statement,

“The world and my country need not my anger and criticism but my love and understanding.”

So much and so many hurting. I have certain words of wisdom that I have been holding on to pretty much for most moments in my life and they were shared on to me. I’d like to encourage you to share these too for I believe these are what we and this world need at this time – FAITH, HOPE and LOVE.

“Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

So allow me to share the following words of wisdom to shed light in these moments of darkness:

There Is A Time For Everything

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹²I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

¹⁵Whatever is has already been,
    and what will be has been before;
    and God will call the past to account.^[b]

¹⁶And I saw something else under the sun:

In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
    in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

¹⁷I said to myself,

“God will bring into judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time to judge every deed.” – Ecclesiastes 3: 1-17

“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

Max Ehrmann, DESIDERATA

“We love each other because He loved us first.” – 1 John 4:19

❤

Life’s Like That

Posted on October 17, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Photo credit: groupon.sg

When I was young, I grew up to the sight of Reader’s Digest magazines laying around the house. My parents have a monthly subscription to it and when I was in grade school and high school, it became one of the favorite books I wanted to read.

This is probably where my inkling on feature stories especially those that are inspirational originated. However, there are other sections in the magazine that caught my attention too: Laughter Is The Best Medicine and Life’s Like That. For the latter, I enjoyed reading the “matter-of-fact” wisdom shared by contributors. I was young back then I didn’t know the exact name for it but contextually, I do get the point.

It was only during my college days that I realized that the “nuggets of wisdom” shared at Life’s Like That can actually be classified as a figure of speech – irony. Just to review our Literature 101 about what “irony” is:

“Irony (from Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία (eirōneía), meaning “dissimulation, feigned ignorance”^[1]), in its broadest sense, is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or event in which what appears, on the surface, to be the case, differs radically from what is actually the case. Irony may be divided into categories such as verbal, dramatic, and situational.” – Wikipedia

Then I reflected about everything. Life is actually a well-celebrated mockery game – it is so full of ironies. If you’d ask me how, I’d give just a few instances I know which were shared to me and I have observed through time as well.

I have come to know of a parent who is an overachiever but with an underachiever child. Or that very religious person whose son/daughter grew up committing all sins the bible has. A wealthy expat, dignified and well-respected with a child who breaks the law often. A prominent family but conflicted relationships. The list can go on and on.

I do not judge them for who they are for these are their own battles of faith, endurance and character building as well and we can all learn from their struggles too and yet I can only ask why the opposite of what was originally intended?

Before I got saved, I was a downright cynic – sarcasm was my favorite wordplay. When I go for the kill, my best weapon was the vilest and meanest words you could think of even without a curse. These words go straight to the heart and the worst kill is towards the ego. That is because I knew nothing back then about this:

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

Yet through it all, I don’t see this as a reason to be regretful, to be stuck in the past and to feel all forlorn even if I have suffered greatly of its consequences. No, it is actually a thing to be celebrated given the guidance of the Spirit. Yes, because looking at it in a Godly perspective, these ironies are what bring us to a position of humility. It taught me how to reflect and carefully choose the proper word in addressing every issue and every single person. It taught me to pause and assess first. It taught me self-control and to wait for the right time. It taught me to be sensitive and gentle. It taught me to be humble enough to accept my mistake and the mistake of others.

This wordplay of sarcasm which I used to love have been turned by God into words that give encouragement, light and hope which made this blog alive. 🙂

There are still times now wherein if I am not conscious and I am not putting up my guard, some of the wrong choice of words or improper delivery of my sentences i.e. tone, etc. still come out even if I intentionally did not mean it. But then, when the Spirit is in you, the rebuke will always be there – through your guilt, your conscience and your heart. That is because my eyes have been opened to the Truth and to what is right.

My husband can attest to the number of times I have almost or even crushed his spirit completely because of the words I have uttered towards him. I only realize it when he would tell me that what I told him made him realize about his weaknesses, mistakes and that I was right. But hearing him say these, I can feel the pain and see it in his eyes.

The pain.

Now this struck me to the core. Oh dear Lord, I have hurt him with my words. When I sense the pain in his tone, I immediately apologize and hug him tight and assure him that I don’t mean it. But as we all know, we can never take back the words we have spoken.

Never.

Moreover, whichever words we hear that elicited a strong emotion in us usually have the greatest impact and will be retained in the memory. If it is in the memory, it will be easily remembered – we are forever reminded. Not to mention that mean words also fuel anger and dissension which lead to conflicts, violence and eventually chaos.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

Thus, in my pursuit towards humble repentance, I prayed to God to shield any person from any hurt that can be derived from any vile word that I unknowingly or have intentionally blurted out. I prayed even more for maximum restraint and discernment. I prayed that forgiveness will rule in our hearts and heal all wounds inflicted – the humble acceptance of mistakes.

Humility is the very core of Christianity. I don’t think I can ever define faith without it. Grace teaches us that. The Cross symbolized nothing more but Grace through humility – submission and acceptance even if undeserving. For how can God subject Himself to a lowly form here on Earth in the image of a man, devoid of any distinct title or position in the society, free from material wealth or possessions and suffered a great deal which no one else have experienced and YET did not sin even once so we could all be free from the bondage of sin?

God is God – the Alpha and the Omega, Omnipotent and Supreme. He is in Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ symbolizes nothing more but humility and acceptance out of obedience and love for His Father, His creator.

We all can never submit, accept and obey if there is no humility. It is actually humility that makes repentance possible which leads on to SALVATION. Again, it all goes back to the Cross.

So why should life be so ironic? Simply because Life’s Like That – full of ironies so we could all learn humility. Humility is God’s way of saving us from the perils of pride and other sins which bring much of this world’s chaos and complications in relationships.

Yes, Life’s Like That. 🙂

We Survived Dengue!

Posted on October 14, 2016 by Christine Lailani

But first, praise be to God for the healing and restoration of good health for me and hubby! ❤

Of course, a huge note of gratitude goes out to our families (biological and spiritual) and friends too who were there to offer us with all kinds of support in this tough ordeal. Ah yes, when the love of God transcends, it is hard to not love people back. So this article is a “WE LOVE YOU ALL” sort of post. *wink*

So I thought all along especially in the first few days of my fever that I have something really serious going on since prior to it, I was having a very severe headache that I once again cried myself out for relief. Paracetamol won’t even work! Oh dear, I have such a high tolerance for pain that I can live for days doing my tasks even with a migraine and even without any pain reliever. But this one is worst.

My fever went on for about 3 days and with a body temperature of 39.4. Hubby was alarmed so he told me we’d better see the doctor. I agreed and out we went to see a doctor. I was advised that it was some sort of infection since platelet count is okay and no alarming changes in my cbc (complete blood checkup). So on the 4th day, I was feeling okay. I did take medications until the 5th day. Hubby had commitments on the 6th day with his family and asked me if I would choose that he’d rather stay to monitor if ever my fever comes back. I told him 2 days have passed without the fever so it’s okay if he leaves me at home and have his 2-day get-together with his family for his sister’s birthday celebration. I had to stay at home as doctor advised a 2-3 days of bed rest.

Unfortunately, little did we know that my platelet count by this time started spiraling down already. The fever recurred. I had chills early in the morning and I felt a numbing and tingling sensation in the fingers of my right hand then followed by the fingers in my left hand. So I texted hubby that my fever’s back and I felt too weak and too nauseous to drag myself to the ER. He didn’t go to work the next day and headed straight home and off we went to the ER at my university’s infirmary. Upon having my cbc, platelet count dropped from 304 to 115. The doctor advised that if fever persists and my platelet count the next day showed to less than a hundred, I should get myself admitted to the hospital.

By this time hubby was feeling weak as well and experiencing body malaise. He assured me maybe it’s just from the weekend’s events and he incurred a flu strain on his way home. When we both got home I was hydrating myself big time although my fever subsided. Unfortunately for hubby he had a fever that went up to 40 degrees! I gave him the medications that was also prescribed to me and though it alleviated the muscle pain, his body temperature just won’t go down.

So it was now me who urged hubby to have a medical checkup the next day. He was feeling too weak when we got to the ER of the hospital nearby and the nurse said that he was already dehydrated and needed an IV therapy. He was given medications for his fever and we waited for a couple of hours. Now this was also the day I was scheduled to have a follow up check up for my updated cbc. My hubby’s doctor said that his platelet count’s still in the normal range however his cbc showed that he’s positive with dengue. She asked Brian if he’d want to be confined in the hospital for hydration via IV therapy or go home instead but hydrate big time. He opted for the latter as he’d still want to accompany me going back to the infirmary for my cbc result. I wasn’t feeling very well myself either although I have no more fever but my severe headache was still there.

@ World Citi Medical Center

But upon checking my husband’s body temperature, it was still up to 39 degrees – burning hot. I assured him to rest at home and drink lots of water and I can manage going to the infirmary to get my cbc result. When I got my result, I was dismayed – my platelet count dropped from 115 to now 85. I was very alarmed because it only meant one thing – confinement. A very low platelet count will result to severe hemorrhage/bleeding.

I went home and told hubby the sad news. He’s still got fever but his body temperature already subsided as well as the body malaise. We decided it best I’d be confined at the hospital as per doctor’s advise. This was around late in the afternoon so I started packing what we will be needing at the hospital. We also told the news to our families and they advised us everything that we will be needing at the hospital. This was my first time to be confined in a hospital for several days by the way so I was really nervous. I have no white coat syndrome though. 😀

By the time we got to the hospital, it was already late in the evening. There were so many patients at the ER that it took me and hubby almost 2 hours at the waiting area and almost 3 hours at the ER before we got our room accommodation. Then, they took another cbc to double check my platelet count. It went up to around 90 but it turned out positive for dengue. By this time mild rashes appeared in my legs already – very tiny red dots like freckles.

@ St. Luke’s Medical Center

Hubby dear, on the other hand, was still feeling weak. I urged him that he should get himself admitted too and we will just get a room for us both. But he insisted there’s no need as his platelet count was still okay although it was also dropping but not as drastic compared to mine. He also explained that I needed someone who will take care of me as it’d be difficult moving around with a dextrose.

Doctor asked: “So who’s the patient now?” lol 😀

I just totally felt so much love for my husband at this point. He sacrificed his own comfort over mine and every day he would go up and down in separate buildings to have his cbc done, brave the long queue, get the results, consult a doctor, buy his food, monitor his fluids intake, take his medications, buy my needs at the hospital and take good care of me. Now this is something that money can’t buy nor is equivalent to any prized possession – makes my heart melt every time. ❤

Or probably it is because I am more sentimental and practical than materialistic. 😉

My eldest sister visited us also and brought us lots of food and fruits just to make sure we were doing well but I couldn’t entertain her for long because of my severe headache and I was feeling really weak. I assured her that we’ll go along just fine and thanked her heartily for the visits despite her busy sched at work (she is running an entire school. *wink*).

Brother bear and sis-in-law visited us at home when I was discharged at the hospital too. I was sleeping most of the time that I was there and I do prefer being alone when I am not feeling well. The introvert in me, eh? 😉 I discouraged friends from visiting too because I don’t want them to go thru all the hassle of traveling after work just to visit me. They’d probably be dead tired and have families to take care as well AND I don’t want them to get bitten by a mosquito who bit us there at the hospital if there ever is one.

So this scenario between me and hubby went on for about 4 days and whew, by God’s grace, hubby had no more fever and I was already cleared. Although I got discharged from the hospital, hubby’s platelet count was still dropping until it came close to 109. So I teased him that maybe it’s now his turn to be admitted and I’ll be the one taking care of him this time. Rashes all over his body started appearing too and they’re more visible than mine. But the good thing about my husband was that he’s even a more consistent and determined fighter/warrior than I am. 😀

With these rashes all over him, his skin got darker and redder I teased him that he looked like a native American Indian. *wink*

He “drowned” himself in liters of water every day, slept all day long, took medications consistently and after 2 more days, he was also cleared. I asked him how he did it and prevented himself from being confined at the hospital. He just nodded and smiled. He my not be verbal about it too often but I guess he really has more faith than I am. Possibly because he has a nonchalant attitude and I don’t – the key to having complete trust in God.

While I was in the hospital, I also requested to have my recurring headaches checked and after some series of tests, the fellows of my neurologist concluded that my brain’s still functioning normally but that the pain may be muscular. I am still due though for a check up with the neurologist for the final diagnosis if I will be needing a ct scan or x-ray.

Ah yes, in my moments of lethargy, weakness and numbness, I couldn’t find the strength to even finish reading my daily devotion. So my journal entries weren’t updated for more than a week. But God knows there never passed a day that I never said a prayer in my heart to all those who went through and are going through similar challenges like what my hubby and I went through. We are now back to our regular prayer routine and indeed, a day and night without a spoken and shared prayer between me and my husband make a day incomplete. I just find it amusing though that hubby stayed true to his commitment as a husband, “in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part”…..we both got sick. lol

The aftermath of 9x of blood extractions for the cbc. *ouch*

Seriously, when it comes to prayers, God already knows them even before we say them. We always have to keep in mind that God sees our hearts and our thoughts day in and day out in every millisecond. It is a must, therefore, that we stay connected with Him too 24/7. 🙂

“A cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”- Proverbs 17:22

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” – Psalm 73:26

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” – Philippians 4:8

P.S.

This was the moment that I was scheduled for job interviews and I already turned them all down due to my illness. So I take it that God has other plans for me. And so I wait. 🙂

It was also my second time to have a dengue fever. The first one was back in year 2012. Doctors informed us there are about 4 recognized strains of it. Whew! 😀

Here are some websites for more information about dengue:

https://www.cdc.gov/dengue/

http://www.who.int/topics/dengue/en/

Sentimental: Who Am I?

Posted on September 28, 2016 by Christine Lailani

I am down with my usual migraine attack (on its 5th day now), but this time accompanied by a high fever and eczema too. Whew! It’s kind of difficult to manage everything when every illness you have bolted in altogether. Though I took medicines yesterday, my husband (a nurse) and the doctor at the university infirmary advised me to take 3-5 days of bed rest for my follow-up check-up on Monday, and limit physical activity. While in bed, I thought about writing something.

Speaking of my husband, though, I appreciate him for his nonchalance. That is one thing I wanted to learn from him – how to maintain a worry-free attitude despite the disarray or when things have gone awry. I am, on the other hand, the exact opposite – I worry about everything! 😀 But through time, I have learned to control my worries, and I’ll share how in the succeeding paragraphs.

Dealing With Life’s Atrocities

I know there came in your life wherein you have never felt good enough – as a spouse, as a child, as a parent, as a student, as an employee, as a friend, as a relative, and ultimately as a person.

As a Christian teacher, I have learned that it is even more important to speak life than to criticize students. We might never know; we are already crushing the dreams of a young spirit because of the negativity. Though trials produce resiliency, positive reinforcement is still best. The world is already complicated enough, mainly because we, humans, made it that way.

Every person is different. It’s the same as how every seed grows to be a different plant. Every plant has its own tender and loving care requirements. Yet all plants need sunshine; they all need light.

The Breaking And The Making

When I was a grade school student, I had my first taste of disappointment when I didn’t win as president of the student council, and I was reprimanded during the campaign period along with the rest of my running mates. The offense? We were late in Math class for just a few minutes, and we weren’t allowed to enter the classroom. I took it as my responsibility to take the blame, being the running President, and seeing your peers crying out of shame was enough to break your heart to pieces.

When I was in high school, I had another major disappointment when I only graduated as “special mention” in class after consistently being on the top 3 honors list from 1st year until 3rd year, but failed to meet the criteria for the extracurricular activities, which comprised a huge percentage of the final grades. One of my high school best friends suffered the same fate. We were advised by our parents to never receive the award during the graduation ceremony, though our names were called because they said that we do not deserve it, but we were present during said ceremony.

When I was in college, I wasn’t able to finish my thesis on time because the adviser from our concentration was on sabbatical leave. We were assigned instead to another adviser from another concentration. After submitting my first draft, I got it back only to see red marks written everywhere, and the one thing that was retained in me was this comment: “How did you reach this far if you don’t know how to make a research paper? This is not the work of a UP student!”

I thought, maybe I should also ask my former professors why they passed me in all my other subjects if I am undeserving to be in UP. 😀 Little did I know that there were several of us who got the same remarks. Yep, in our university, you’ll encounter all sorts of professors, but when it comes to critical feedback, I understood it all as part of doing their jobs as teachers.

Then I worked, a dream job it was. But disappointment once again came. The mission and vision of the workplace weren’t met because one of the figures of authority behaved otherwise. I was the recipient of that very unprofessional behavior, and many have seen it. It happened a couple of times, too. I stayed and chose to keep quiet. But after praying about it, I had to let the job go.

God’s Path Towards Salvation

So these were all hang-ups of the past, which I am sure most of us have experienced one way or the other. Others may have gone through even worse than all these, and if given the chance, they are very much entitled to unleash their grievances as much as they want. But unfortunately, as much as we would like to shake them off, they are already embedded in who we are.

All those years, I have struggled with the need to impress, to seriously meet expectations, to be perfect, to excel always, and to prove myself to people. I suffered from anger and resentment boiling in me, and the need to take revenge and retaliate was so strong. I blamed life for bringing me people who did nothing but criticize me for my weaknesses, and only that, and went beyond in criticizing who I am personally, without even the slightest hint of who I really am and what I can do. This resentment and anger included some issues in other areas of my life, too, which I will not share due to their sensitivity. I really thought I was the unluckiest person alive back then.

For 27 years, I have battled with insecurity, the by-product of low self-esteem, poor self-image, and self-worth – the mentality that “I am never good enough.” Failures, wrong decisions, and disappointments became the stronghold that corrupted my entire being until it led me to a major depression – the breaking point, as they say.

Depression robs you of the beauty of life. It makes life look bleak, bland, and distorted. It affects your every decision, and it just kills life itself. Before I was born again in 2013, I committed suicide twice – both were failed attempts.

No, I do not easily give up. I did arrive at that breaking point on the verge of quitting everything, but I still fought hard against it.

I had two options: let the darkness corrupt me and become those people who plagued others or themselves with it OR choose to search for the light, the hope.

Knowing The Savior

The opportunity came for the latter – I was given HOPE.

The greatest moment of my life was when I was born again through my faith. Why? It’s because when I found out who I was in Christ, that was the greatest and the best thing that I have heard about myself for 27 years.

It was on that day when I surrendered myself to Christ that ALL chains got loose – I was set FREE.

The moment has already come for me to look at things from a very different perspective – a total paradigm shift. It wasn’t everything I hoped for, BUT it’s exactly what I NEEDED which no one else could give me except God.

This HOPE taught me even more than what I have learned in the academe or even from life itself. It taught me how to patiently wait for the right opportunities and how to patiently endure every setback. It taught me that there is a time for everything. It taught me to decline job offers and business opportunities that could’ve made me rich in wealth and possessions. It taught me to pass up on chances of earning titles that would’ve given me some sort of self-entitlement and self-fulfillment. It taught me to weigh options, sacrifice if I must. All of these, if they will, in the end, forfeit my soul.

It taught me to choose God’s will over mine. It taught me to rely on God’s plans rather than rely on my own understanding of the circumstances around me. It taught me to relinquish control and allow God to take over. It taught me that GRACE is a gift freely given, even if undeserving. It taught me how to love others even when they do not deserve it. It taught me to find joy, peace, and contentment even when darkness, chaos, and bitterness are all around. It taught me how to let go of the past and forgive.

It taught me what true humility is all about. It taught me to be grateful always. It taught me that simplicity matters most in life. It taught me to look outwardly and consider what others are going through as well. It taught me that if there is a void that the atrocities of life have caused in me, either by wrong choices or by fate, no one and nothing else can fill it up except God.

I found this hope in Christ alone, and I find strength in the Word every day, which is my guide in this life – not any textbook, novel, or company brochure.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” – Hebrews 11:1

Faith Anchored To Our Souls

Faith did not make my life free from criticism, condemnation, trials, and suffering. Yet it gave me a way to view life beyond that – salvation in eternity.

I still find myself in situations I have stated in the first part of this article. But this time, I have learned to see these instances from a different standpoint. I have learned to understand first where some people are coming from and why they are that way. I have learned to understand that maybe they are still in the darkness, too, driven perhaps by the need to compete, to be the best, and to meet expectations, dealing with their own insecurities and personal struggles, too. Or they have this false motive to instill in those who are next in line exactly what they went through, because in this “dog-eat-dog” world, repaying evil with evil is normal. Only God knows everything. What I observed, though, is that when people prick each other to bleed, it’s better to choose to be the rose among the thorns – the salt and light. 🙂

There are times the past comes all rushing back; it haunts. Another disappointment will ruffle your feathers. The need to lash out and punish calls. But I choose LIFE. I will speak LIFE.

Because Christ has given me LIFE. He, alone, gave me LIGHT. It is my duty as His follower to use that light so others can walk in and with Him, too, despite the darkness around them.

Ah, yes. Them.

One day, they will be brought out in the light, too. They will break standards, cultural traditions, and not conform to this world wherever they may be and whatever they may be doing. They will choose to fight for faith and spread light when hope seems dim. That was the reason I was smiling because I was praying for them silently, and I am claiming it all in the Mighty Name of Jesus, who made it possible for me, too. 🙂

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

P.S.

It’s been 3 years now since I got saved, and when things don’t go the way I’ve expected them to be, I have this bookmark to remind me of who I am. I thank the sister in Christ who gave this when she facilitated a talk during my baptism of the Holy Spirit. I have carried it with me since then. The last verse listed is my life verse. 🙂

Oh, and yes, one new thing I have learned too from our couples’ bible study Vgroup 2 Sundays ago (thanks Tito Tony and Tita Len for the wisdom) – the boiling water concept. If you put eggs in boiling water, they become hard. But if you put the potato in it, it becomes soft. I choose to be a potato – a couch potato. Kidding. *wink*

Seriously, it only means that when life and circumstances knock you down, don’t bear any grudge and don’t be hard on yourself and on others. Instead, let it soften you, let it refine you, and let it make you better. Be a better potato, I mean, a better man/woman. 😉

Last but not least, reach out to God, and then God will send His people (spiritual family) to help usher you out of the ordeal. I am praying for your struggles, too, my dear reader and brother/sister in Christ. If you also need to share a tough ordeal and are in need of a prayer intercession, you may always pop me an email. ❤

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The Journeyman's Moments

The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.

Tag Archives: love

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Roasted Chicken A la Bicolana

A Family’s Love

Year 2017: Everything Made New

Sweet Groanings of the Heart in The 4th Year Anniversary Special

Life’s Like That

We Survived Dengue!

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