One sunny afternoon in the balcony…..
POLLY (white cat w/ orange & black spots):
“Yo bruh, why you so twisted?!?! You’re really scaring the wits out of me! And it ain’t even Halloween yet.”
FISHY (all white & twisted): “Please, please, please tell me I’m cute and gwapo, then I’ll untwist myself.”
🤣🤣🤣
God is truly amazing. He knows how tiring (but very productive) this day was for me, and He knows exactly what will make my heart flutter.
When I was about to pick some Blue Butterfly Pea flowers for tonight’s tea, this was the spectacular view that greeted me – a beautiful butterfly perched just beside the flower. ❤️
And because I’m physically exhausted, my brain can no longer come up with enough words to describe the following random thoughts that popped up in my head in the last couple of days. You might want to search them on Google instead. 😉
– Armageddon (not the movie)
– Revelation 16:16
– woman, child, and dragon
– Caden
For Caden, I just had this sudden thought last week of having a baby boy for my firstborn (if I can choose 😀). And I saw the name Caden while browsing on the internet, and I felt like I also wanted that name as one of my choices for my baby’s name if ever.
My other choice for my future (if God wills it) child’s name is Zaphen, which is short for Zaphenath, Joseph “The Dream Interpreter’s” Egyptian name. When I search for Caden on the internet, it means “warrior,” “fighter,” “Spirit of Battle,” or “Spirit of War.”
That’s all for today. A blessed night, everyone! 🙏❤️
“Why flowering trees and why not fruit trees? You can’t eat those flowers.”
Mom asked me this question last year when she saw the labels on the polybags where I’m growing the seeds of the flowering trees. Well, Mom had a point. So, I just smiled.
But in my head, the answer was simple: the pollinators. It is because of these pollinators that’s why I am planting the flowering trees. No pollinators, no fruits, no food. These small creatures typically go unnoticed, but they actually play a vital role in our environment.
But if you’re going to ask me, why not choose flowering plants instead? I had climate change in mind when I thought about what type of plants to propagate on our farm. The probability of delicate flowering plants surviving the effects of climate change as it worsens year after year will be very low.
Flowering trees, on the one hand, have deep root systems and will have better chances of surviving periods of extended drought and strong typhoons. They will also provide sufficient shade when intercropping and will serve as a home to other species in the ecosystem. Not to mention that their beautiful flowers are such a lovely sight to behold, especially if there are plenty of them.
Let The Flowers Bloom
Last year, I bought 8 kinds of seeds of different flowering trees before coming to Bicol. Out of the 8 flowering trees I planted, I was able to successfully propagate only 3 of them. They are the Palawan Cherry Blossoms, Fire Tree (a favorite home of fireflies), and Golden Shower.
Only 11 of the 15 seeds germinated, and we transplanted them last week on the farm. As much as I would like to plant a thousand of these trees now, I really don’t have much of an option. Because we need to take into consideration first where we will plant them inside the farm for future landscaping purposes.
These are tall and huge trees that should be planted 1-2 meters apart. I intend to grow only a few for each kind so it will be easier to get seeds once we propagate them later on.
God Makes Them Grow
Upon checking them yesterday, so far all of them were doing well except for the Golden Showers. I am praying the Golden Showers will survive. If not, that means I have to try propagating them again and again.
In every project of mine, I make sure I follow it through from start to finish even if I fail somewhere along the process. This way, I get to maximize my assessment on where I made a mistake and what areas I need to improve on to get my desired results next time.
By the way, the province of Sorsogon here in Bicol currently has a “1 Million Trees Challenge,” which is part of the LGU’s 7k Program. It is my prayer that the local government will not just target planting 1 million trees, but will also make sure that all 1 million trees will grow, survive, and thrive so generations after generations will benefit from them.
Back to the farm, I got a little bored during the latter part of the day yesterday so I decided to drive our old Innova around and started circling our Mango trees. When Dad saw me, he suggested I drive to the bushy part to flatten the tall weeds (I don’t see the importance of this prior to mowing, sorry Dad 😃) because he was planning on having them mowed later that afternoon.
Unfortunately, heavy rains poured so Dad had to postpone mowing the lawn. The good thing though was that somehow a huge portion of the weeds were flattened.
If I know how to drift, I would have drifted the Innova to make sure all the weeds really flattened out. But well, drifting an automatic car is quite a challenge, and I know Dad will make me walk home should I decide to do it. lol Just a little trivia about me, I have a need for speed that’s why I don’t drive. 😀
I’m a very impatient driver, and if you see a car that’s parked diagonally and all the rest of the cars are parked vertically, that’s probably mine. lol I think I was born to drive main battle tanks so I can easily ram it anywhere should the need arise. 😂
A Flowery Road
But thank God, there were no scratches and dents in any of our cars while I was the driver. That means I’m still a good driver, right? If my Mom’s still here though and saw me driving around in circles at a fast speed, I would’ve gotten about an hour long of her reminders and “whatnots” (love you, Mom).
So, let’s try to connect driving and the 1 million trees, shall we? lol Just try to envision driving down a winding road lined up with flowering trees. Ah yes, that would be such a splendid and a pretty romantic sight, don’t you think? I would love to see this as a reality one day, God willing, one tree at a time. ❤
“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26
I am 80% introvert. The home is my life. Give me a book or in our generation now, the internet, and I can spend the entire day just reading. I sometimes forget to eat. If only books are edible, too. lol
If I’m not reading, then I’m tinkering with DIY projects. I love systems and processes and deciphering how things work. I just hate Math though, so no formulas and computations, please. But if you’re a Mathematician, do know that I’m very much intrigued by how your brain works. 😀
But as we all know it, adulting requires we do more than just read books or devote our entire time to hobbies or projects. We don’t have a choice, do we?
So, that 20% that I do get to go out to buy stuff that I need, do important errands, or spend quality time with people I love, I make sure the experiences will be worthwhile and definitely one for the books.
I also prefer to commute via public transportation when going out. I get to observe people a lot and this is how I get ideas for my next story. The solo backpacking concept has always been a dream of mine. But I already dismissed the idea because nowadays, traveling alone to unfamiliar places is not safe, especially if you’re a woman.
What Introverts Do When Outdoors
So, where do introverts like me go when not hibernating? Here are some places where you can find them.
Do watch these breathtaking videos of Mt. Mayon during my flight. She’s simply stunning, always a “Daragang Magayon.“ ❤
I thought about writing this year-in-review (or year-end review) because I usually do a social media hibernation every December as part of my birthday prayer and fasting. I’m going to be another year older, yet another year wiser. 37 years have been tough, but I’m looking forward to what lies ahead than what is behind.
P.S. All credits go to my husband for taking these photos. Today’s Day 1 of us living apart, too, so I’m posting these photos as a remembrance of another meaningful chapter. It’s painful to lose people, but I know this is God’s way of testing my faith in Him, a way to refine our characters so we can be deserving to be called His sons and daughters.
Pained but sanctified. ❤
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” – Proverbs 31:25
P.P.S. I still have 115 rough drafts of articles that I need to revise and post here. They are more than enough for this year even if I post every day. lol How to stop the brain from thinking? 🤔
How healthy is healthy? I wasn’t sure so I did my homework and here’s what I found – polyphenols.
Maybe by next year, I can also work as a Research Assistant with the extensive research I am doing now. 😉 So what are polyphenols and their role in fighting against cancer?
Polyphenols On The Spot
“Polyphenols are a class of compounds found in many plant foods that includes flavonoids, phenolic acids, lignans, and stilbenes. There are more than 8,000 different types of polyphenols that have been identified so far. Some polyphenols that have gained popularity are epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG) in green tea and resveratrol in grapes and wine.
“Most polyphenols work as antioxidants in the body, meaning they can combat environmental harm such as UV damage and pollution. Click here to learn more about antioxidants. In addition to their antioxidant activity, polyphenols have many other health benefits. Some studies strongly suggest that diets rich in polyphenols may offer protection against development of certain cancers, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and neurodegenerative diseases.” – CSU, Kendall Reagan Nutrition Center
Here are other helpful links to articles and scientific journals that contain comprehensive information regarding polyphenols:
What Are Polyphenols? Types, Benefits, and Food Sources
The role of polyphenols in overcoming cancer drug resistance: a comprehensive review
Advanced Delivery System of Polyphenols for Effective Cancer Prevention and Therapy
A Garden of Polyphenols
Meanwhile, I’d like to share with you some of the edible plants I started growing when I came to Bicol last year. I had no idea each of them contained large quantities of cancer-fighting components. They are very prolific growers, too.
I actually bought these seeds without knowing their full benefits. Indeed, God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
I wasn’t able to replant some of them this year though because of what happened to Mom. But I plan to resume growing them and increase the yield next year, God willing. Because “many are the plans of man, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)
1. Blue Butterfly Pea
This is my favorite because the deep blue-violet color of the flowers just never fails to captivate me. And the funny thing about it is that I got these Blue Butterfly Pea seeds as a freebie (thank you, dear online seller) when I bought the seeds of some flowering trees I intend to propagate on our farm (do watch out for my next article on this). It’s also not just the regular variety of Blue Butterfly Pea, but she gave me the one that has double petals (yay!).
You may read the articles below to learn more about this plant and its anti-cancer properties.
Chemosensitizing activities of cyclotides from Clitoria ternatea in paclitaxel-resistant lung cancer cells
2. Okra
I usually steam this and eat it plain without any seasoning. Growing them is easy, but you would need at least 10 Okra plants to gather a decent harvest. It’s also best to harvest them young.
3. Oyster Mushroom
This is my very recent planting project, and I’m amazed by the outcome. You may read more about my Oyster Mushroom growing experience here.
4. Papaya
I love this fruit though it stinks quite a bit. When it comes to growing papaya, well, it just grows anywhere in the garden through bird droppings. Fascinating how nature finds a way to grow on its own, isn’t it?
5. Cacao
This is my paternal grandmother’s (Maria’s her name) legacy that my Aunt is now continuing – tablea making. Tablea is unrefined chocolate made of sugar and ground, roasted cacao seeds. Tableas are always my favorite when making hot choco drinks because they’re perfect during the cold weather.
Read: Is Chocolate Good For You?
6. Mulberries
I started planting Mulberries at the farm last year as part of our poultry project there. But it might take a couple of years before we can harvest a lot of these berries. I’m so glad though that some of the cuttings started fruiting already. Unfortunately, I had to pluck them out to encourage root growth.
7. Other Veggies in the Polyphenol-Rich Garden
If you are a believer of the “biophilia” concept, then the more you plant, the better it is for your entire well-being. And yes, I can totally relate to this meme I stumbled upon my social media newsfeed a couple of days ago. The world is getting cray cray every day, let’s just do all that we can to get by.
We have to remember though that these edible, cancer-fighting plants may lower our risk of getting cancer, but I still highly recommend a regular checkup with your doctor. This reminder applies to me, too. 😉
P.S. I forgot to mention in this article of mine to include seeds in your Go Bag so you can plant in your Bug Out Location if food is already scarce. That means you may have to start practicing how to plant seeds now for higher chances of growing plants successfully later on.
P.P.S. Since today’s the last “Friday the 13th” of the year, I’m going to end this article with something upbeat to celebrate God’s goodness in our lives. 🙏 Try to see though how the two ideas in the sentence before this are connected. 😀
Ever wondered why breast cancer is represented by the color pink? And did you know that every type of cancer has a corresponding color? Yep, I only found out just now after doing a lot of research regarding breast cancer.
When Mom passed away last August, I felt the need to spread awareness about breast cancer. Me and my siblings never took breast cancer seriously believing that Mom’s breast cancer will not come back. And that is because there are a lot of things that we don’t know about breast cancer.
I already made the draft of this article last September only to find out during my research that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Indeed, there is no coincidence in God’s plans. And if you’re wondering where I got the pink cap and the pink ribbon pin, I had them already during then Vice President Leni Robredo’s campaign, who’s also an advocate of breast cancer. A coworker of my husband gave the cap and pin to him, but I only wore them just now.
Btw, just a little bit of trivia, Leni Robredo was born and grew up in my hometown, Bulan, here in Sorsogon. I am a very big fan of hers, and I never got the chance to meet her in person during the 2022 Philippine presidential election campaign period. Because you guessed that right, I was stuck at home because of my allergic rhinitis.
Challenges And Breakthroughs
During my research, I discovered a whole lot of information about breast cancer that I didn’t know before. It was like a plethora of facts and data that are readily available any time you need them. For one, CRISPR technology and AI innovations being used for treatments are getting more nods from investors. And it won’t be long now before scientists and researchers make a breakthrough that will allow safer use of the technologies to treat a wide range of medical conditions like brain diseases, cancer, and Autism.
I also encountered the term “holistic medicine” for the first time though I’m a bit familiar with holistic approaches because we use the same techniques when dealing with a special child in Special Education. All these data brought me to a realization that the country’s health care system really needs all the help it can get.
For breast cancer here in the Philippines, I agree with what was stated in this scientific journal regarding the need for the medical industry to amp cancer screening and early detection opportunities most especially in underserved communities. In my Mom’s case, for example, it was already too late when we found out her breast cancer had come back.
A Breast Cancer Patient’s Journey
Out of my need to learn more about a breast cancer patient’s treatment journey, I joined several breast cancer support groups on social media. l wanted to know how each patient differs from the other in terms of the severity of their health condition, how each patient manages the pain, what are their challenges, and how their families cope with the patient’s situation.
I know you will ask me, too. “Tin, how did you take it all in knowing one day you might go through the same situation as what they went through?“
My answer is simple: I take one breast cancer info at a time and gather as many as I can. So this means not just settling with what I can gather online, but more importantly, listening to what other breast cancer patients have to say.
Because I also felt this urge to help them in any way I can, may it be through info dissemination or finding opportunities to get financial support for their medications and hospitalization bills. There are a lot of gaps in the medical industry that need to be filled in, but I am very grateful that we have organizations and institutions that are determined to remove these roadblocks in order to provide better healthcare services.
More Opportunities To Get Tested
It’s a lot of work, but I have faith that God will continue to open more opportunities for the benefit of every patient. I actually am very grateful when I found out there is a way to detect if you are at high risk for breast cancer without waiting for a lump to appear on the breast. It’s called the BRCA 1/2 Germline Mutation Analysis Test.
“BRCA 1/2 Germline Mutation Analysis Test
Identifies germline mutations in the BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 genes alongside other key mutations involved in hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. It is useful for prognosis, treatment guidance, and screening in high-risk family members for the purposes of cancer prevention and early detection.
(Sample type: blood)” – Philippine Genome Laboratory
The test is also available at St. Luke’s Hospital and Hi-Precision Diagnostic Center. It requires a doctor’s referral, so it’s best to consult with your doctor first.
Time To Prepare
I haven’t had mine yet since my 2019 2D and 3D breast ultrasound results came out negative, but I know I am already due for my next checkup. I just need to sort a lot of things at the moment and I am in the process of making plans. This will include making financial preparations, hiring a stay-in house help, adjusting my work schedule and farm tasks, convincing my 3 older sisters and brother to get the test with me, etc.
I make a lot of plans to avoid any hassle in the future, and eventually minimize stress. Some of these plans will change, depending on what God’s plans are. But it’s better to have a plan than to have none at all. Situations only become too difficult to manage and can be very stressful when you’re unprepared. I plan on having the checkup possibly in 1st quarter of next year after the holidays if God wills it.
Because if ever my test results come out with positive findings, I don’t want to ruin the holiday spirit. I also need to prepare my husband and my family emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.
This is also one of the reasons why I am not going back to Manila with my husband this October even if he wants me to because I don’t want him to see me in pain if ever I am diagnosed (now or later) with breast cancer. I saw how devastated my Dad was when he found out Mom’s cancer came back. It was too painful for our Dad to see my Mom suffer, and I don’t want my husband to go through the same thing.
A Fallen Soldier, A Hard-Fought Battle
Though I really would like to thank my Mom’s doctors, especially her oncologist (thank you so much, Doc Leones!), for the very effective pain management. There was even a time when she told us that she didn’t expect chemo to be that good. I was like to my siblings, “Is Mom trying to cajole us into getting her transferred from the ICU to the private room that’s why she’s telling us that chemo feels good? Because if not, then she would really make a very good chemo ambassadress.” 😀
Unfortunately, Mom still lost the fight because it’s time for her to go. My Mom’s battle with breast cancer might be over, but mine has only begun. And it starts with breast cancer awareness. I know I am not alone in this journey though and so are you. ❤
A Prayer For Breast Cancer Warriors
If you are currently battling with breast cancer or know someone who is, here are some of the links I found over the internet that might help you and your family in dealing with breast cancer. I am also covering everyone who is going through their breast cancer treatments with prayers for healing, provisions, comfort, and peace. May God be with us always, and may His grace be sufficient enough as we go through this trial of breaking this generational curse. 🙏
Cancer Assistance Fund
DBM Sets Aside Funds For Cancer
https://mb.com.ph/2023/8/21/dbm-commits-support-for-filipino-cancer-patients
Medical Assistance
https://www.philcancer.org.ph/index.php/services/medical-assistance
How Can I Reduce My Risk of BC
https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/basic_info/prevention.htm
Mammogram Test Price – Philippines
https://medicalpinas.com/mammogram-test-price-in-philippine-hospitals-and-clinics/
FACEBOOK BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUPS
Breast Cancer Warriors and Survivors Philippines
Cancer-Free Philippines
Philippine Cancer Patients Group
Breast Cancer Warriors 2
Breast Cancer Awareness Month 2023 (US)
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.” – Luke 1:45
“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life.” – Deuteronomy 30:19
P.S. Here are some links to online stores (not my sponsors) where you can buy pretty wigs. Pls. do share in the comment section below if you know other online stores that sell wigs. I might buy one for myself because who says you have to wait to be bald to wear one. If it looks good on you, wear it. 😉
Chloe Bean – Wig (US)
https://www.facebook.com/reel/855448396207915/
Wigs (Philippines)
Today is Sunday, but I watched last Sunday’s online service. Divergents will always be nonconformists, I guess. 😉
I was able to watch Pastor Patrick’s preaching entitled “How Do We Respond to Difficult Situations,” and the message just came in timely. The preaching made me ask myself: “Am I making the right responses?”
In light of the recent events, I thought about my response when my husband told me he’s leaving. Have I made the right decision to let my husband go back to Manila without me? The answer was crystal clear. It could be that I am the one who’s hindering my husband on his walk with God because of my own fears. I’m afraid to lose him, and I’m afraid I will lose him completely.
But what if I have to lose him so God can do His work of “finding” my husband and “bringing” my husband back to Him first? So this is my one and only prayer now. That my husband may be saved, whether he comes back to me or not. Because that is what truly matters and that is our purpose here in this world – to help people go back to God.
Life in this world as a believer is all about allowing God to use us as an instrument so His people will be saved, and how far we are willing to trust God that He’s got everything under control. Even if it means experiencing pain for a moment. Even if it means losing people believing that God has their best interests in mind.
We all have to go through seasons because that’s what Ecclesiastes 13 also said, “there is a time for everything under the heavens.” There is a time to part ways, there is also a time to meet. There is a time for sadness, there is a time for joy, and so on and so forth.
It is through these seasons that God molds us in His image because He is the potter and we are the clay. We can’t become what we are supposed to be without God intervening. It’s just that we don’t want to hold out our hand when God reaches out.
Because humans are just too prideful. The preaching last Sunday captured what my heart is denying. It is time I let down my pride. It is time I lose control. It is time I accept what God wanted all along. It is about time I level up my faith and trust God once more – but bolder and braver.
So my heart’s settled. And I guess it’s safe to assume that I’m not basing my decisions on feelings, but by obeying what God wanted. Even if I was reluctant to obey. Well, at first.
I can see myself in Pastor Patrick’s stubborn (but cute) lil’ girl who obeyed, but is still hesitant. So yes, maybe I deserve a little bit of that rod, too. A heavenly rod (if it comes from God) maybe? 😀
Do you think Oyster Mushrooms can prevent the growth of breast cancer cells? This question just popped into my head now that I’m starting to be conscious of what I eat because I’m already at a high risk for breast cancer.
All we ever know about mushrooms is that they are a great alternative to meat, especially if you’re watching your cholesterol levels. I did my research and I found a study on Oyster Mushrooms and their role in preventing breast cancer and colon cancer.
This wasn’t my original purpose actually why I started growing Oyster Mushrooms here at home. I wanted to learn how to grow them as part of the basic survival training I am doing in preparation for any massive disaster.
If ever I see this type of mushroom while foraging, then I would know that it’s edible. And if my survival tools are still complete, I’ll try growing the mycelium.
This is what I want to try now, but the process requires sterilizing the tools and equipment constantly while collecting mushroom spores and putting them in the fruiting bags. Btw, I got the mushroom fruiting bags from Pinong Farm.
The fruiting bags are about 1 foot long each, quite bigger than the ones commonly sold in other online stores. I have been able to harvest thrice already, and I am expecting more harvests since the mycelium is still forming out of the fruiting bag.
How To Grow A Mushroom In A Fruiting Bag
A lot of people who’ve tried mushroom farming say that growing mushrooms is very easy. You won’t need soil, pesticides, and fertilizers to grow them. In my experience, however, it’s not really that easy. Here are some reasons why.
1. Room Temperature
Fruiting bags need the right amount of moisture to encourage mycelium growth. Too much moisture in the environment will trigger mold growth, and if the environment is too dry, there will be no mushroom growth at all.
2. Constant Misting
We live in a coastal area, so there are days when the weather is too dry. When this happens, I would notice that the mycelium grows very slowly. Whereas if the fruiting bags are always moist, tiny fruits grow really fast.
3. Avoid Contamination
Everything that you use for growing mushrooms always has to be sterilized. Make sure to wash your hands when harvesting fully grown mushrooms. And also remove any remaining stem parts to give way to new mushrooms.
4. Pest Control
Rats love to take a bite at them. For safety purposes, discard the rest of the mushroom that has a rat bite. It is also best to keep the environment clean to avoid contamination.
5. Patience Is Key
The first fruits take some time to come out, around 25 days. So it will really test your patience. But when you do see the first fruits, it will be love at first sight. 😍
You can then start harvesting your mushrooms 3-5 days after they come out. I’ve tried cooking them as adobo mushrooms, but fried mushrooms that are coated with Crispy Fry are my favorite.
Even my Dad was astonished after trying the Mushroom Chicharon for the first time. He said that the fried mushrooms do taste like real chicharon or pork cracklings. 😃
Meanwhile, here’s a video of my little mushrooms. Do watch it on full-screen mode for a more up close look. Aren’t they lovely? ❤️
Have you also tried growing mushrooms? I’d love to know your experience in the comments box below. 👇
I’ve been contemplating this question even before December comes. Recent circumstances brought me to yet another crossroad, and they compelled me to think about the future.
“How will my 2024 turn out?”
It’s bleak. Just like how some of the previous years panned out. The future is and will never be certain, and I guess this is why people become fearful. We do not know what will happen, and it makes us anxious, doubtful, and worried. Because it all has something to do with control. We become fearful of things that we have no control over.
This is what God changed when I became a born-again Christian. He showed it to us yet again when my Mom died of stage 4 breast cancer last August. Money wasn’t able to save her. Not even the best doctors in town can save her. Because in God’s story, it’s already her time to go.
I may not know what the future holds, and yet I am certain about this one thing – I will have to deal with yet another heartbreak. That will be two major heartbreaks in a row – first, my Mom’s passing away, and second, losing my husband.
Separate Lives
No, my husband is not dying. But we are going to live separately, which has a high probability it will become legal. My husband wants to go back to Manila and work there again.
Sadly, Manila is no longer an option for me. I have a strong feeling I’ll die early there given that I have severe allergic rhinitis, and the air is just too polluted. I saw the news recently, and the haze has just gotten worse over the city. We also lived in my sister’s condo when we were there, and we happen to have neighbors who are chain smokers.
This aggravated my allergies to the point that I have frequent nosebleeds that get worse and worse every day. It has gotten so bad that my ENT doctor prescribed an antihistamine that I should take on a daily basis and other medications.
My husband was also tired at work given all the pressure brought about by the pandemic in the healthcare industry, he also needed a break. So we decided to come here to my hometown hoping to make a fresh start since I also work from home.
To make the story short, we came here to Bicol last year, but things didn’t turn out the way we had planned them to. Sad to say, this is one of the reasons why we have decided to separate ways.
The calling for me to stay here and serve the local community is far too strong to dismiss. I thought it was my husband’s calling, too, when we both witnessed this perfect rainbow in Albay going to Manila in January 2020.
The promises God gave me when I saw this perfect rainbow (my first perfect rainbow) were this:
“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
Unfortunately, these promises were only intended for me. My husband never felt the same calling. It was the opposite for him actually. His coming here only made him realize how much he longed for the city life and the late night outs and “inuman” sessions with his friends and coworkers.
He felt like his social life came to an abrupt halt when he got here. From what I’m seeing, he’s not yet ready to leave his comfort zone. I understand him because he grew up in the city.
All About Marriages
However, I must also say that this was also my trauma for the past 8 years that we’ve been together. How can I forget those sleepless nights when I didn’t know where he was because he was too drunk to text or call me, and he’d arrive home the next day not remembering where he spent the night away?
Or that time when I asked him about a missing bracelet that I gave him, only to find out later on that he’s given it to a female intern at work who took a fancy to that bracelet and asked if she could have it as a remembrance from him (???). Or that female coworker who’d video call him on Facebook, and when I answered, she said she accidentally pressed the call button (???). And a whole lot more of married couple traumas that I chose not to divulge anymore.
Because my husband is not all that. 🙂
I’ve seen him grow from a fetus, I mean, a boy (😉) to a man for the last 8 years. I’ve witnessed how he became this responsible man who is willing to make sacrifices just to meet me halfway.
Although let’s be honest, there are some bad habits that are just hard to break. I know we all can relate to this. Holistic transformation seldom happens overnight.
I actually celebrate individuality in relationships because this is how we grow as a person and eventually as a couple once we’ve both learned to navigate through our differences. I also agree with what the church taught us that we never marry so we can change our spouse.
A marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman and seeks to encourage a spouse to give to the significant other more than what she/he can get from him/her. And yet, it takes two to tango. Love must never be one-sided.
I’d always tell my husband to only change what needed to be changed for the marriage to survive and thrive. I give him the freedom to do what he wants given that it is within the boundaries of this marriage. If what he is about to do will compromise our marriage, and it’s not healthy for both of us as a couple, then he has to be accountable for his actions and address the consequences.
This is why long-distance relationships never work for me. A marriage requires a lot of hard work. Add to it being apart from each other, the probability of a marriage surviving is very, very low.
So, here’s my proposal to my husband if I should decide by the end of the year that I’m staying here in my hometown or somewhere else other than Manila. If he meets another woman, and between me and her he chooses her, then he must file an annulment case first before cohabiting with that woman.
Infidelity is the only reason permitted as grounds for divorce in the Bible (Matthew 19:9). Also, if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave the marriage, he or she can leave any time.
“But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15
So you might probably ask, “Aren’t you going to fight for your marriage, Tin?” Well, I’ve been doing that for the past 8 years. 🙂
I also got to talk to my Mom a couple of months before she passed away and I did ask for her advice regarding this (I’m missing our convos), and she told me that if my husband is not happy here, then I should let him go.
Her suggestion was that if my husband loved me enough, then he should be able to look for other employment opportunities here and adjust just so we could still be together. And yet, I also understand where my husband is coming from.
Where Is Home?
Manila is not my home. It is for him. Bicol is my home. It is not for him. This is the part where I get to go back to what I mentioned in my previous paragraphs about God being in control.
These are matters that are already out of my control. What I’ve learned in my marriage is that I do not have control over how my husband feels, how he reacts, how he thinks, how he decides, and how he behaves. I can only take these matters to God, and tackle issues as they come one day at a time. As Scripture goes,
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6
“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” – Matthew 6:27
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34
But a more pressing concern is the basis of my decision to stay. I need to take care of my health. I am already at a high risk of getting breast cancer. What happened to Mom is a constant reminder to me to stay as healthy as possible.
I was born with a weak immune system, and I have always been the sickest kid in the family. Out of Mom’s 4 watchers when she was at the hospital, I was the only one who contracted Covid.
My sister, Tita Len, and my spouse all turned out negative in their antigen tests and never even had symptoms. I, on the other hand, still have long Covid rashes every now and then.
I tried not to take antihistamines every day, but I can only go on for a couple of days and the congestion will come back, especially at night. These are all minor health conditions though and are easily manageable.
So yes, I know you’re bored already, so let’s cut this short. 😀
Trusting God Always
I may not know what will happen next year. Or where I will be. Because I don’t want to be in Manila, and yet I also don’t want to be in my hometown because Mom’s memories here at home make me miss her a lot.
I want to heal someplace else and live somewhere halfway between Manila and Sorsogon. That would be Camarines Sur, but I prefer somewhere close enough so I can visit Dad regularly during weekends.
Albay, maybe? I really don’t know. But before you assume that I am running away from Manila and my hometown, actually I go where God will ask me to go. It can be in Albay or for all I know, it could be somewhere in Batanes or Tawi-Tawi. Or abroad.
It’s a good thing that I am a remote worker so I can work from anywhere. Thank God for remote work because it is just fitting for a nomadic lifestyle. If I were also to be asked what are the 3 things that I can’t live without, that would be my laptop, my phone, and my “Go Bag.” Then, you can bring me anywhere.
Yes, a Go Bag will count as one thing, right? lol Nah, it’ll be an unfair answer knowing that everything we need to survive is in the Go Bag. On a serious note, I’ll be sharing more about emergency preparedness in my upcoming articles since we are already in a climate emergency. And no, I’m not a doomsday prepper. I’m just a regular civilian trying to get by in a chaotic society.
Where God Leads, I Follow
About my plan to go someplace else, I’m still trying to ask God for a clearer picture after I saw that perfect rainbow in Albay and received the assurance of a promise. Albay is actually my Mom’s second home (more about it here). My Mom also stayed at my Tita’s place in Daraga and tagged along 2 of my siblings who were still toddlers back then. That was when Mom and Dad had a huge fight, and Mom decided to leave him for good.
But well, as we all know it, love brought them back together. Dad changed his bad habits, pursued Mom, and Mom loved him enough to forgive him, and they actually just celebrated their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary last June 1, 2023. Speaking of love, you might want to watch a movie on Netflix entitled “Love At First Sight.”
It’s a new release, and according to the movie, it’s not a love story but it’s a story about fate and chances. And what do you do with both. I think it really is not your typical love story though the movie title was too cliche, but I must admit it was one of the best chick flicks I’ve watched. I plan on writing a movie review about it, so better watch it now before I spoil it. 😉
To end this long article, I only have one concrete plan in mind for next year. That is, to move forward. Because that is the only way to go and that has always been the case for me ever since I became a born-again Christian.
Is it toxic positivity? I don’t know, but it works for me and I owe it all to God’s grace. It is this undeserving grace that got me to where I am now even if there were numerous times I felt like I wouldn’t make it. I do not plan on wallowing in sadness, grief, and sorrow for a long period of time because that is not living.
I hope this article will also encourage those who are going through very difficult situations to continue to soar. Nothing is ever too broken for God that He can never make whole again. God is not done with you and with me yet. We still have a lot more to do for His people and for His kingdom. We’re still breathing, right? So, LIVE. ❤
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28
And of course, sharing with you my fave song for this week. ❤ May God’s favors be upon you this coming week, dear brothers and sisters. 🙏
“Whoever has ears, let them hear.” – Matthew 11:15
For Dad, it’s the literal meaning. I’m so grateful that he’s finally agreed to wear hearing aids after decades of convincing. lol Ah yes, never underestimate the power of persistent persuasion.
Speaking of persuasion, I get to use it a lot in my line of work (advertising), and also here in my blog (in case you didn’t notice 😉). But objections are very much welcome – more diverse minds, more POVs.
I would’ve loved to accompany Dad today at the Bicol Ear & Hearing Center in Legazpi City along with my brother and 3rd sister. Unfortunately, Dad had a task for me at the farm. Because I’m a self-proclaimed farm girl daw. So, dapat panindigan. 😀
I will be posting more often here since I’m reactivating all of my social media channels for upskilling purposes. And I hope to learn new ideas from the WP community. I’m lovin’ the new feature, btw. I can’t wait to answer the prompts for better community engagement. Great job, WP! 👍👍
Here’s something to beat the Monday blues:
P. S. I can’t wait for Dad to try out his new hearing aids 2 weeks from now when we get them at the center. 🙏
The Journeyman's Moments 