The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
Starting tomorrow until Friday I will be hibernating on social media as part of our start-of-the-year prayer and fasting in church. Just in time for my season now because I have A LOT of things to pray for.
And my first prayer point will be reserved for the Breast Cancer warriors. So far I already know what their prayer concerns are after reading their posts in the Facebook groups. I am also praying that there will be cancer support groups for teens and young children who have cancer. I’m interested to know if peer support groups will have a significant impact in the way that young cancer warriors cope with the challenges brought about by their fight against cancer i.e. bullying in school, social stigma, low self-esteem, etc.
If you also have prayer requests, please don’t hesitate to send me a message via my LinkedIn profile, which you can find in the “Social Media” section of my blog. I would love to pray for you. ❤️
A blessed Sunday, everyone! 🙏
P.S. It looks like I’ll be rereading some of these books during my free time. So, which one to read? 🤔
I might start with the Medical Dictionary that my 2nd and 3rd sisters used for their second courses, which are Nursing and Caregiving. If I will be volunteering in medical missions, this will come in handy. 😉This section of our mini library here in my sister’s condo will somehow give you an idea of what my siblings and I took up in college and the professions that we pursued. Try to guess which of these books are mine. 😊
P.P.S. I just started conducting a feasibility study on property rentals in Sorsogon City and the entire province, and this popped up in my Facebook newsfeed. Any pet lover out there can surely relate to the photo below. 😹
I’m going to name this plant Lily Doggoensis. 😆My sketches for the Hospice Facility/Retirement Homes project proposal, which I hope ze siblings will approve. Because what mattersis what we donow to reach our goals – plan first, conduct extensive research, then execute in God’s perfect time. But more importantly, we pray fervently for God’s leading, His instructions and provisions, and that His will be done always. 🙏🙂Photo credit to my brother: Thankful to God for a blessed start of 2024. My siblings and Dad were able to visit an almost forgottenproperty outside our town that belonged to Dad. It was difficult to access before, but God paved the way to access it via the tourism road project of the LGU. Indeed, God is good all the time. 🙏 This means an additional task on our end though. But if it’s for God’s glory and purpose, then I’m not saying “no.” 😉I am praying for all of the ongoing and future developments in our town and province. May they open countless opportunities to the local community in terms of livelihood projects. 🙏
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” – Hebrews 10:24-25
One month down and I’m feeling extremely homesick already though I also love it here in our Manila home. Let me share with you some simple design inspo for condo living. 🙂
That rare moment when you have the sight of the empty pool all to yourself. 😀Write or take a dip? Hmm, sleep. 😁Flashback to the days when the chairs still have cushions. ✌️☺️Quarantine Christmas 2020I was able to pull off the entire setup under 1k only – all thanks to Lazada. 😃I find this very romantic and cozy. 😍The minimalist condo interior style before my husband converted it into a man cave. Tsk, men. 😑🙃
I think I’m just never gonna be a metro girl. The need to commune with nature every day is too strong, and my heart just craves for country life. I also miss decorating our home in Bicol during Christmas.
Circa 1991: The Evolution of the Christmas Tree – Province Style 😊This was taken in December 2022, andI’m pointing at the “destroyer of Christmas tree” hidden somewhere there. I think you already know who I’m referring to. Check out the video below. 😹
When your youngest fluffball tries everything to get your attention while you’re playing the guitar. 😻Last year was the 2nd time (the 1st time was during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic) in about 3 decades that we didn’t put this tree up because we were all still grieving over Mom. I am claiming for a Christmas tree makeover this year. 🙏
I’m also missing Mom’s plants. I felt like she was with us every time I saw her plants. A few months before she passed away, she’s been devoting so much of her time to the garden. She was already feeling the symptoms of cancer at that time, and gardening has always been therapeutic for her.
Yellow BellsWild OrchidHeart of Jesus / CaladiumVariety 1Heart of Jesus / Caladium Variety 2OlivaFireball LilyAlocasiaI still don’t know the name of this plant. I love the combination of yellow and red flowers in one plant. Heart of Jesus / Caladium Variety 3 (pink plants).Another plant that I still need to research on Google. It has a combination of white and purple flowers.
The plants must have sensed that Mom was very ill and reciprocated her love by giving out their best blooms. This Bromeliad bloomed its first ever flower since Mom planted it some decades ago.
And before I left for Manila last December, lilies started blooming. I felt like it was Mom wishing me a safe trip coming back here. She once told me that I am happier here in our hometown. Well, Mothers always know best. 😉
When Mom told me that she didn’t know that the Bromeliad plant has a huge flower and that she’s been waiting for ages for it to bloom, I somehow had this intuition that Mom might only have a year with us. So during our convo, I only asked her questions about the plants because if I insisted we bring her to the doctor, she would’ve given me her ever-famous “Platypus reaction” which is synonymous with “No.” 😅
Her recent garden project. ❤️
Ah yes, my Mom and I are alike in so many ways. But I use the “Platypus pose” now for my selfies only. I realized I looked cuter in the photos with that pose. lol The photo below was taken 3 years ago, by the way. So I have pretty much outgrown the “Platypus pose” already. Hmm, on second thoughts, I think not? 🤔😅
I’m feeling too lazy to transfer this to my other phone, so I just took a photo of the photo. 😀
I can’t wait to get back to Bicol and continue what God has called me to do. There are so many things to accomplish there and yet I only have one life to do all of them. I just hope and pray I get to live a lot longer. But if not, I hope I made God happy by obeying Him even if I don’t see the fulfillment of some of His plans. 🙂 🙏
Nope, I don’t go to the farm barefoot. But my late grandpa, who’s the true blue farmer in the family, did it every day. If not for the thorny weeds, I would love to do the same. Nothing beats the sensation of feeling the ground you’re walking on with your bare feet.That no filter, no makeup, sweaty farm look. Nature doesn’t seem to mind. 😉
P.S. Speaking of life, I am praying our farm plants are still alive when I get back. 😩
“I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” – Isaiah 46:4
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4
Here’s something I penned just yesterday for those who have been reading my posts. I think you weren’t brought here by chance. Thank you for journeying with me, and this is for you. Cheers to 2024! 🥂😊
I Want To Know
by Christine Lailani
I want to know your chaos. Because I want to see if mine will complement yours so we can find peace together.
I want to know your darkness. Because I want to see how you’ve managed your way out towards the light. And should you find yourself stuck in another darkness, let’s search for the light hand in hand.
I want to know your demons. Because I want to see if you have tamed themand if not, let’s pray on how to defeat them.
I want to know your weakness. Because I want to see how and when should I be strong for you.
I want to know your failures. Because I want to see how can I be the wind beneath your wings.
I want to know who God is in your life. Because I want to see if you and I have kindred spirits. So we can light this world up together.
I hope this inspires you to be the hope that this world oftentimes deprives some of us. Keep on shining, my loves. Somebody’s got your back and praying for you always. ❤️🙏😘
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” – Romans 8:18
P.S. The video link below from “The Other Slide” is not related to this post, but it’s my current fascination. I hope you get mesmerized by it, too. That is if you’re also a Science lover like me. 😉 I never got to experience this when I was in high school, and I don’t know why we didn’t do this in my Bio class in college. I guess we didn’t have this on planet Nibiru. 🤔
Found this movie by chance, too, over YouTube the day before yesterday. 🙂 And I am not going to make any spoilers (if you haven’t seen it yet), but just wait for the scene that if you can caption it, it’ll go like this:
“Time stopped when our eyes locked, the world suddenly became smaller and only the two of us are in the room…”
Enjoy watching! 🥰
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26
New Year’s Eve 123123 was by far the most “chill” celebration I’ve had. No stressful planning, no hassle, and everything just went smoothly. Though we terribly miss being with our families during the holidays.
Hubby and I never had any plans on how to celebrate New Year’s Eve except that we will watch the fireworks display in BGC. Our day yesterday started with good news because the result of my repeated urinalysis looked like nothing was off the charts this time.
The doctors are on a holiday break though so I will schedule my consultation with an Internal Medicine doctor possibly on the second week of January.
Lovely piano music courtesy of a patient @ St. Luke’s BGC. 🥰
Then after lunch, hubby and I decided to attend the 5PM service at Victory Fort. I was surprised (but so happy) that I was able to book a Grab ride right away, so we arrived a couple of minutes early.
Victory Fort 5PM Service
Then after the service, we decided to walk just a couple of blocks from Victory Fort to an Indian restaurant called “New Bombay.”
Cozy and very colorful interiors. 👍
I love their huge plates. 😍
When we got to the restaurant, we were the only customers there so it’s like an exclusive dining experience for me and hubby at first. But a couple of minutes later, other guests started arriving.
The menu is about 5 pages long. This means more options and, thus, more reasons to come back to try them all. 😁
I will give this restaurant 5 stars for its great-tasting food, affordability, store accessibility, and excellent customer service. If you’re looking for authentic Indian cuisine in BGC, this is the place to be.
We love Indian food!
They also offer generous servings, and the strawberry yogurt is the perfect drink to pair with the meals. My husband and I tried Mutton Biryani, and I highly recommend this dish. The mutton is so tender, and I like how the spices aren’t too overpowering.
Chola Chat – Samosa
Mutton Biryani(good for 2 pax)
They have a lot of dishes to choose from, and there are also options for vegetarians. We ordered dishes that were somewhat heavy on carbs, so we were just too full to finish everything. lol
Chola Pesawari
Seafood Soup
Then we headed to the concert venue and when we got there, the place was literally jampacked. Hubby and I decided to go to the designated Family Zone instead to avoid the crowd because I’m actually claustrophobic.
On our way to the Family Zone, we ordered Starbucks drinks and oh boy, it took my hubby about an hour to get our order. Long lines were everywhere inside the Family Zone. All the tables were occupied, too, and I was fortunate enough to find a spot on a ledge under the tree. But I think it’s the perfect spot because I got to observe a lot of people. 😃
❤️❤️❤️
Then at around 11:30PM, we started walking towards the Fireworks Viewing Area just a couple of blocks away from the concert grounds.
This BGC catcasually sat down beside me while waiting for the fireworks display. 😃
There were fewer people here, but it’s the perfect spot to watch the fireworks display, which lasted for 10 minutes.
After the concert ended at around 12:50AM, hubby and I chose to stay a little longer while waiting to book a Grab ride going home. We were unsuccessful, so we thought we’ll just walk a couple more blocks and check out what other transportation options we had.
By the way, I prefer walking around because I get to familiarize myself with the neighborhood and observe a lot of scenarios for my next stories. If we brought a car, I also don’t want my husband driving during times like this when heavy traffic’s unpredictable because it’ll get on his nerves and ruin his mood, and he’ll be too tired. I think all guys can relate. 😃
All the beautiful colors and textures are in one frame.
We also passed by a high-end club in BGC and a couple was having an argument. Then another guy looked like he’s already drunk and was about to jump off the second-floor balcony. I was like, “Oh please no, Lord. I don’t want to start my 2024 witnessing a horrible incident.” His friends grabbed him though, so yes, always bring your friends with you if you plan to really get drunk at a party.
Then when we got to the main thoroughfare, my husband was able to hail a cab and by 3AM, we’re already home. My sister’s condo in Pasig is near BGC, so going home isn’t a problem because you’ll have lots of options to choose from.
It was a calm ending for 2023 – simple and yet at peace. I felt God’s assurance reminding me that when He is in control, we have nothing to worry in 2024. I am forever grateful for everything God has blessed me and my family with last year. I pray you are, too. A blessed 2024, everyone! 🥰 🎆❤️🙏
Thank You so much, Lord, for guiding me and my husband always despite our flaws and imperfections. 🙏
“Behold, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.” – Isaiah 43:19
I stumbled upon this very beautiful song just now, which was written by a very talented local singer and kababayan from Bicol. And I can’t help but wish I’m watching her concert for the New Year’s Eve countdown tomorrow. 😃
But I am also looking forward to my first ever NYE countdown in BGC (Bonifacio Global City). I know the crowd will be enormous (and traffic might be worse 😅), but I know it’ll be fun. This will be another checked item on my bucket list, and I’ll share our experience tomorrow in my next blog post. 👍
Meanwhile, let dwta serenade you with this romantic love song. ❤️
How was your travel? Did you get tired? Come here, I cooked you some Bicol express, pancit bato There’s vegetables and siling loveu Oh! Pepper I meant.
How was your day?
Stay with me
Can you come with me? We’ll explore the whole Bicol You’re like the pretty Mayon Volcano
Just stay here
I love you I don’t love anyone else, except you I’ll keep loving you I’ll keep loving you until we got older I’m not gonna love anyone else except for you
How are you? Get some rest please, we explored too far I bought you some pili nut, and Some gifts (gifts, gifts) I hope I made you so happy
You’re only mine
I love you I don’t love anyone else, except you I’ll keep loving you I’ll keep loving you until we got older I’m not gonna love anyone else except for you
That’s one of the things that I’ll do
What more if I say that
I love you I don’t love anyone else, except you
I love you I dont want anyone else except for you I’ll love you Until we got older There’s nobody else that I’ll love, except for you
There’s nobody else that I’ll love, except for you There’s nobody else that I’ll love, except for you
P.S. This will make as a perfect wedding song (the acoustic/a capella version of it) if both of you are from Bicol. 😍
Do you know what is painful when you’re fighting battles? It’s when both you and your husband cry your hearts out while hugging each other because you are in this season where you both feel trapped and are just too tired but have no choice but to stay strong for one other.
And this was after we failed to be kind and gentle with one another – and all that we know we should avoid during arguments (Kraken V. 10 activated). Those kind of moments when our worst comes out after suppressing it for a very long time.
Indeed, the pastor during our pre-wedding seminar some years ago was right when he said that marriage is all about the word “give” because it requires giving and not getting and forgiving each other and ourselves always. Because we will be offending and failing one another often.
My husband never cries, but he does now. So I know that the weight on him of what we are going through is too much. We are both going through transitions that give us little time to process everything. I am also processing grief over the loss of my Mom who, next to God, is the first person I share my problems with when it comes to my marriage.
It is this kind of feeling wherein you both don’t want to let go because you got used to being with each other all the time and yet you are questioning whether what you both have was real love or not. Or if this marriage is still worth fighting for.
Was it just platonic love? We do have great chemistry but the connection isn’t there. And yet we both know that love isn’t all about electrifying sparks and emotions – love is a decision. It is a decision to love your spouse every single day no matter what happens. Because this is what God taught me about love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 4:7
It is a love who seeks to understand rather than condemn. That kind of love that chooses to forgive and be forgiven. It is a love that chooses to fight for what is good over and over again. But also that kind of love who lets go so the other can be happier.
My husband and I still need each other now and be the best friends that we are to each other who console and support one another when we’re going through tough times. And I am praying we both can sum up the courage to bravely face life alone as we pursue different paths. Because only God knows how our story as a couple ends.
I know my husband is torn between leaving me alone here and pursuing the calling that God has for him abroad. My promise to him remains though. Even if we get separated by distance or by choice, for as long as I am married to him by law, I will honor this marriage until such time that he decides to end it legally.
We made a mistake in the past, a sin that we covered up with another sin. Until our sins caught up with us. My husband wasn’t ready to marry. Though it was a decision we made together, I felt like I was at fault because I somehow forced him in a way. We were both victims of our own selfishness.
Unfortunately, both of us can no longer change the past. But I am praying, I am praying hard that God will forgive me and my husband and release us from the bondage of sin. We have forgiven each other, we suffered for our sins, and I pray that God will give us both peace and a second chance to make up for our mistakes and live a better tomorrow whether together or alone.
I assured my husband that if we can no longer carry the burden of everything we are going through now, we call out to God. Always. It is only God who can help us go through every rough season in our lives and deal with the saddest emotions that we have including those that we don’t reveal to others. God is really the only one who can understand when no one else can.
May God help me and my husband end this year at peace with the pains of our past and the uncertainties of the future. I pray that He will grant us the courage to move on and to move forward not forgetting the lessons we learned. And lastly, I pray for strength to be able to let go of one another believing that God’s plans for us are always for our own good. 🙏
P.S. Lord, enough of the drama already. Mabibigyan po ba ako nito ng award sa Metro Manila Film Festival? Hanubey, awat na. Puh-lease langs. huhuhu 😭 Seriously though, I really want to erase 2023 in my memory. But I know I cannot. I can only remember it as it is. No matter how painful. Because there are good things, too, that happened this year. And they are also worth remembering. ❤️
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” – James 5:16
“How do I know if God is asking me to do a particular task?”
If you have asked this question a couple of times now in your life, then you’re not alone. I did, too. And here are some of my answers to this question based on my experience:
1. Clarity
There are no doubts about whether you should do it or not. Even if you don’t know the outcome or how you’re going to do it at first, there’s just this courage and boldness to pursue the task given to you.
2. Instructions
Everything is provided to you once you have set your heart on doing it. You have all the answers to your WH questions, and there simply is no reason now for you to not do it. Resources were made available and connections with people who can help you with your plans were established.
3. Peace
There is contentment and fulfillment when you think of this task. Even though it hasn’t been completed yet or hasn’t even started, there’s already a sense of accomplishment just by obeying God and committing to do what He asked you to do.
WE HAVE WORK TO DO
When you have all three going smoothly together, then you know you are set to start a God-ordained mission. 🙂 The doors that God has opened for me or let’s say the God-given possibilities that can turn into great opportunities starting next year are the following:
– more agribusiness opportunities
– connect with a spiritual family that supports the same vision for the mission at hand
– volunteer in church activities particularly those that involve the youth of the church because they will be the next spiritual leaders of their generation
– encourage the spirit of volunteerism among the youth by empowering themthrough mentoring sessions
– equip the youth to do volunteer work outside the church but guided by Biblical principles
– create or look for partnership opportunities between the schools and the church for the students’ Community Service projects
– volunteer in medical missions particularly for breast cancer
– connect the school, church, and hospital for Community Service initiatives led by the youth of the church (high school and college students will be assigned into groups mentored by spiritual coaches and will undergo a volunteering workshop conducted by the church)
– invite healthworkers to conduct a separate workshop and train youth volunteers on first aid and basic caregiving skills to terminally ill patients and help assist nurses (they can use these skills later on when they need to take care of a sick loved one at home or during a global emergency i.e. war, pandemic, etc. thus, help reduce the workload of healthcare professionals in public and private hospitals)
– targeted age of youth volunteers: high school and college
– considerations to include grade school volunteers by integrating volunteering opportunities with Girl/Boy Scout Camping (the proposed location is the hospice facility at the farm where they can have their camping activities, too, as this is less risky for the kids health-wise compared if they will be volunteering inside the hospitals – menial tasks will be assigned such as bringing the patient’s meals, putting fresh flowers on bedside vases, opening the window/glass door curtains, helping push the wheelchair, etc.)
– Church volunteers from other age groups are also welcome as long as they can commit to a regular volunteering schedule (options to choose from are once a week, twice a month, and once a month)
– conduct a feasibility study for the hospice facility (5-year and 10-year growth trajectory including possibilities for expansion i.e. bed capacity, supporting facilities, health personnel’s quarters, etc.) to be included in current site planning
– praying for a “praying doctor” (like a doctor who is also a pastor – yes, my prayers are always specific lol) who can be our hospice management advisor and at the same time can pray for patients who are about to pass away
This last objective/goal is actually the main mission in which all of these goals revolve around. It is the salvation of the souls by means of repentance and accepting the Lord Jesus as the Savior that will delight the heavens more than the good works that we did to help others in this world. 🙂
Why volunteering? It is the ministry that God has called me to serve even before I became a born-again Christian. I do not volunteer to seek validation or to please people. It’s because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of other people’s time, mercy, generosity, and care. I am just paying it forward. ❤️
Here are some of the volunteering projects I joined in the past years:
The goals I listed above are a lot of work that will involve a lot of people working together. I know God will provide the specific details on how to reach these goals. Some of these goals will happen simultaneously. Some or all of them might not happen at all. And some of them might happen probably a couple of decades from now. Only God knows. But I am very much looking forward to witnessing how God will work out these plans (and any deviations) for His glory and His kingdom. 🙏
Rough sketch/draft I made for the Hospice Project Proposal that I am praying my siblings will approve. 🙏🙂
“In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away.” – Luke 15:7
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ – Matthew 25:40
P.S. Btw, I am happy for this answered prayer – the recently constructed Sorsogon Cancer Treatment Center. Thank you so much, Lord! 🙏 It just came right on time for the goals I mentioned above. ❤️
Maraming salamat po, Senator!
P.P.S. If you have read this far, I believe it is not a coincidence and maybe God is also asking you to do something for your community – may it be in your church or in the neighborhood. I hope the goals I listed here might give you ideas on how you can serve God’s kingdom, too, starting next year. 🙂
Today’s mood led me to search for a good romantic movie on YouTube, and I stumbled upon this Hallmark movie entitled “The Story of Us.”
I highly recommend watching this feel-good movie. Well, aside from the fairytale ending (as expected 😉), I totally love the bookstore + cafe concept.
I’m thinking about integrating it later on at the farm, God willing, since my family and I love to read. Network signals are also intermittent there so book reading will become a necessity to ease boredom. lol We have lots of books at home in Bicol and in our homes here in Manila, which I plan on consolidating if my siblings and their families agree when we’re seniors already. I hope to include it as part of the family legacy. 🙂
Some of my favorites from my personal collection.
If you want a good marriage, invest in it, as they say. But the catch here is that both of you have to invest in it to make it work. 😃
Mini library at your service– the condo version. 😊
Nothing is more enjoyable than having that secluded nook to read where no one can disturb you and you’re surrounded by nature in all her splendor. This is one of the best views there at the farm and my Dad loves this view. This is also the reason why he loves to visit the rice fields when the palay is all lush and green.
I’ll come up with a better and longer video next time. 👍
The rice fields become all bare though after the harvest season. So I was thinking of planting and growing short-lived plants like sunflowers (I already have the seeds) by the end of the Dry Season as a crop alternative. The pollinators will love this, and it will also offer quite a scenic and lovely view to (future) guests.
Ah yes, so many plans, and yet it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail. But the mission remains – make the farm as a retreat place for holistic wellness, and this includes the hospice facility which will be the topic for my next article. 🙏❤️😊
Going back to the movie, I loved the concept of grassroots, going back to the hometown, preserving the history of a place while being open to possibilities in future improvements, soulmate union after being apart for some time, and true love.
Yes, that is the “Story of Us.” Go watch it now if you haven’t watched it yet. And the Bible verse below resonates with the movie’s theme. 🥰
“When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” – Isaiah 60:22
This might be our last, only God knows, our last Christmas together as a married couple. Every goodbye is painful, and it would’ve been really easy to just walk away and leave everything behind.
But that is not what God is calling me to do. He’s asking me to wait a little longer because He still has some tasks for me to do here in Manila.
When I came here, I was asking God for an answer whether to fight for my marriage or not. An incident that took place on my birthday (sadly) prompted me to let go.
I was hurt. Deeply hurt. All the trauma of the past came back – lies, broken trust, and unfulfilled promises. I believe this is also why my infection got worse, my body was going through excessive emotional stress.
I was hoping for a change. But as they say, if people do not want to change, no amount of convincing is enough for them to do it. Unless they, themselves, decide that they want to change.
Finally, the right movie ticketsthis time. No need to change. 🙂
For the past 8 years, I have chosen to forgive even without the promise of change and at times the absence of apologies. It never mattered to me if I was disrespected or if boundaries had been violated.
Because the Bible says that if a brother sins against you and asks for forgiveness, forgive him every time. I was willing to endure. Though there were times when I asked God when will this suffering end.
A change in perspective. God, what else am I missing?
God’s answer to me was to endure until last December 22. I did cry a little bit, but a decision has been made. It was made in peace – a sign for me that God’s discipline is over. I endured, and God is releasing me from the bondage of sin and being unequally yoked.
I would’ve fought this decision over by being stubborn and by using my free will to fight for our marriage. But the day after, my infection got worse and God’s final words came:
“Your willpower is strong, Tin, but your body can no longer take it. I am giving you rest from everything, give you time to recharge, a time to heal so your body can recover, because I have more tasks for you to do. And the mission I am about to ask you to do requires that you are at your best self – healthy, at peace, and joyful. This mission requires helping others and you cannot help them if you, yourself, are dying on the inside and on the outside.”
I am claiming God’s beautiful promise that I will live long and die of old age though there are far too many times that I felt like maybe I would only make it this year or next year because all I ever did for the past years was to survive. So it does make sense if His first instruction to me for next year is to HEAL.
I will stay here in the city for now to help my husband because he needs a place to stay here in Manila while processing all the paperwork. This is the task that God is asking me to do while I am here. My husband is still my brother in Christ, and I will provide any help that I can give because that is the right thing to do in return for all the favors that he did for me and my family.
When awkward silences become unbearable, just take a photo. lol When you’re married, your best friend can also be your worst enemy. 😅
We all have our demons. We all have sinned. And yet, it is only God who can save us from these demons that haunt us every now and then and compel us to do things that we never want to do. And yet, this requires that we work with God, too. God can never save us if we feel like we don’t need any saving.
The acts of salvation and redemption always start with surrendering everything that is dark within us so God can eventually usher us out into the light. God is giving my husband another chance to change but without me this time, thus, God called my husband to work abroad.
My husband working abroad means it will be extremely difficult for us to navigate through every conflict that may arise in our marriage because of the distance especially if he still hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. Temptations will be even greater. If he comes back a changed man (for the better), then this marriage might still stand a chance until death parts us both.
But for now, we will pursue our dreams apart from each other because God wills it – his dream to work abroad and my dream to pursue agribusiness projects in Bicol. I may not see and understand the plans of God, but this separation is a divine calling, and God is asking me to obey.
The processing of my husband’s paperwork for his work abroad has also been smooth with very minimal hassle. I see this as a sign that this is what God is asking him to do for our own good. If my husband finds another woman to love while he’s abroad, then I will accept (though heartbreaking) the fact that I was never God’s intended true love for him.
And yet that will be another problem at another time. But for now, I will keep holding on to God’s promise for me when I saw my first perfect rainbow in Albay back in 2020 accompanied by the first Bible verse below. 🙏
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day, I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!” – Luke 1:45
The Journeyman's Moments 