The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
When I was in my 20s, fresh off the indoctrination of the academe, I started out as an idealist. Gray areas were minimal, and discerning black from white was easy. The goal was crystal clear—infiltrate the system and change what needed to be changed from within.
A decade has passed, and the ideals started to crumble. It wasn’t as easy as I thought. You cannot implement change – never alone, and yet not even possible together, as a whole, when the system is just too broken to be fixed. Then, bit by bit, there’s this gradual loosening of beliefs. Until another decade later, a new way of thinking has taken over.
It dawned on me now that for an idealist, subservience is the enemy. But for a follower of Christ, subservience is the law. Submission is the core and at the forefront of Christianity. There would be no crucifixion and no Cross if Christ did not submit to God’s will. Thus, God mandated that to be followers of Christ, we, too, must submit to God’s will for our lives.
This means letting go of ideals that once shaped our identities and replacing them with a deeper sense of purpose, a divine calling from God that can only be fulfilled when we respond with humility. Subservience then becomes a necessity. It is now God’s requirement for us to qualify for the task up ahead, which is necessary to accomplish what needs to be done with only one intention – share God’s Word.
Subservience And Authority
The other day, my Dad, sister and I were discussing a project here at home. I made a quick sketch of the project layout to show my Dad and sister where it will be set up. In my mind, the orientation of the layout came from my perspective wherein I was facing East. So when I presented the sketch to Dad and my sister, I was standing right at the center of the backyard.
When Dad saw it, he was a bit disoriented. But it’s not because I lacked key details of the layout like the proper outline of structures in the area that will serve as reference points, directions, etc. He was disoriented because he was looking at the sketch from his perspective – he was facing West. In other words, he was standing in the spot where our house is located, the opposite of where I am standing.
And because Dad’s a retired civil engineer who’s done a whole lot of blueprints and sketches, I got reprimanded for presenting the project from my own perspective. 😅 As typical of me, I already had a rebuttal – it doesn’t matter where I am standing because I already have a mental map and I can picture the locations of the structures without having to refer to the sketch itself.
And Dad was like, “That is just not how you do it. You have to present your sketch in a way where you’re always facing the front of every structure you are going to sketch, most especially if you are presenting it to someone new to the place.” And again, I had the perfect alibi, “But we all know this place, Dad, and this is the only time I did this because I got too excited to share my ideas that I didn’t care if I was facing North, South, East, or West.” lol
And again, Dad had the final say, “What you made was incorrect, you have to do your sketch the right way next time.”And so I just (bitterly 😆) smiled through my exasperation. The convo between me and my Dad was a perfect example of being subservient – who was I to question Dad’s authority and wisdom in an industry where he retired from and rendered 40 years of professional work?
Nowadays, I observed that most of us have to be subservient so we can adapt to the changes around us. While some were able to make the adjustments and transition without any opposition, some struggled to obey.
I may be stubborn sometimes, but being a born-again Christian has taught me so much about submission. That it is better to be kind than to be right, and to submit to the authorities that God has placed over you (Romans 13:1) for as long as your boss did not ask you to do anything illegal.
And that it is okay to lose an argument sometimes (or most of the time) because “love does not insist its own way (1 Corinthians 13:5).”
The challenge now is how to become subservient and adapt to the necessary changes without losing so much of who you are and still retain a majority of what you truly believe in. While we are commanded to obey and submit, we were also reminded by Scripture to not conform to the patterns of this world but to be renewed in the way we think and act (Romans 12:2).
What’s your own story of subservience? Do you still struggle to submit? Or do you just “let go and let God” do the rest?
There really is something about September that makes you want to wake up only when it has already ended. There’s just too much happening at the same time. Kind of chaotic, too, but in a good way. 😃
First, I had to transfer apartments, but still in the area. My sincerest gratitude to my landlords for assisting me with everything I needed though I am a total stranger.
Another good thing is that it turned out to be in my favor – the space is way bigger than my previous apartment, so I now have a designated office area. Again, just in time for online work requirements, too. Ah yes, ain’t God so awesome?
And the new apartment came with a bonus, too. The previous tenant posted printed copies of Psalm 23 on some of the walls – a beautiful reminder that God is always with us. 🙏
I pray this home will be a temporary sanctuary for those who are looking for spiritual and physical healing, peace, and comfort. 🙏Pink theme for this month in celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and in memory of Mom’s fight against breast cancer. 💗
Oh, but wait, there’s more. God indeed prepared this place ahead of time for His purpose. My Dad had a health concern that prompted him to visit a doctor in our hometown and was advised to undergo several lab tests and see a specialist here in the city. He was able to rest in the apartment along with my sister in-between the tests and consultations. Then, he’ll be coming back for his follow-up checkup on the 26th.
And after a year, we’re back. And nope, that’s not my Dad beside me in this photo.
I don’t know what’s with SMMGH, it’s now becoming a family favorite. 🤔
Although the diagnosis wasn’t good, I trust God that He has already prepared what we will be needing. The apartment is also just one ride away from Sorsogon Provincial Hospital and nearby hospitals. I am now actually getting more comfortable with hospital visits, I might consider living in a hospital next. Who’s with me? Anyone?
Be careful with what you wish for, Tin, or you might actually get it. 😅
And then a post from Bayanihan Knitted Knockers Philippines popped up in my Facebook newsfeed out of the blue. Ah yes, it was God’s reminder of one of the reasons why He brought me here to Sorsogon City along with the other advocacies/endeavors that He has placed in my heart. I know that it is not a coincidence that He reminded me of it during this month, which happens to be the Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
YouVersion Bible Daily Devotional
No, Lord, I haven’t forgotten at all.
And I am continuously working on them, although I think God has worked these plans out already. It’s just a matter of obeying Him when He finally instructs to execute these plans according to His perfect time. 🙏
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28
This song gave me the LSS, it’s stuck in my ears for a couple of weeks now. I think God has a message for us all through this song. I already got mine. 🙂
The comeback of the Platypus Tin and the Platypus smile. You might say, “Oh, but I thought you were Yellow Tin Tuna?” Uhm, I’m actually anything in the Kingdom Animalia. So, maybe in my next post I’ll be Jellyfish Tin. I wonder how I’d look like. But I’ll give you a clue – how someone looks when they’re jealous. 😆
P.S. This is not related to the article, but I find it too cute not to share here. Below is the link to a video of an adorable little girl, and her cuteness overload will surely warm your heart. Gah, why so pretttttyyyyy, baby girl? Paglilihian kita. 🥰♥️😍
P.P.S. The Kasanggayahan Festival is also starting on October 14. It’s going to be my first time attending this event, and I am just so happy that the apartment is just a block away from the Sorsogon Capitol grounds where most of the city’s special events are being held. ❤
How do I begin this overwhelmingly beautiful and positive experience of my being here in Sorsogon City? I think when I made a joke that I left my heart in Sorsogon in this article, God meant it would be here in Sorsogon City. lol Nah, I love Bulan (my hometown) too and I love the entire province actually, which is Sorsogon. But I also love the entire Bicol Region. Sige na nga, I love the Philippines na. hahaha Bumigay din. 😆
I mentioned in my previous articles that I felt the Spirit’s leading and God’s calling for me to live here in Sorsogon City though my ancestral home is in Bulan, a coastal town 2 hours away from the city. When I told Dad, he disapproved at first because he was concerned about my safety, and I think this is a normal reaction from every parent no matter how old their children get. But I assured him I would still visit my hometown every week and stay there for a few days to spend time with him and my 3rd sister.
Brought something with me that reminds me of home – Aglaonema. This is the first plant that Mom told me to propagate back in Manila because it’s a prolific grower. Hopefully maparami ko sila dito sa apartment. 🙏
My husband, by the way, is working overseas, and I am very grateful and happy that he is adjusting quite well though he had some challenges and setbacks when he arrived last April. I had the same experience, and I must say that separation anxiety is the most difficult to overcome.
But by God’s grace, He provided everything that we needed. And when I say everything, I really mean ALL. My husband and I agreed I help him prepare holistically for his new life abroad by providing him with a home (not just a house) in Manila while he’s processing his work documents and visa, but he’ll also help me get established here in Sorsogon City. We missed each other a lot, but God has always been there to comfort and assure us both that we are on the right paths albeit heading towards opposite directions.
God ushered me towards the right people.
By the way, I am sure you’re all wondering if there were times when I ever felt afraid of living in a foreign place surrounded by people that I barely knew. I guess I would have to thank my experience in the Anthropology classes I took as an elective during my undergraduate and graduate studies at UP Diliman. The general education curriculum of UP allows students to choose an elective course from any college or department.
I chose Anthropology because some of my college friends told me na nagpapaulan daw kasi ng uno na grade ang mga prof. lol And it is actually true because the requirements aren’t easy. Aside from the regular quizzes, class recitations, exams, and research papers, the class is divided into several groups for community immersion/fieldwork, which is the final requirement to pass the course. Just in case you’re thinking that community immersions might be similar to field trips, well, they are field trips, but the entire experience goes a little deeper.
They are not your regular educational tours where you do a lot of sightseeing and visit several places during the entire trip. For community immersion, social awareness is the main objective. You get to study the local community, its people, and the culture not as a foreigner or as a tourist, but you actually become part of the community.
And I believe God has been preparing me for this transition without me realizing it because I remembered now that my undergraduate thesis is all about regionalism and the country life. When my thesis adviser and I were discussing what are the topics that interest me a lot, I told her that I would like to write something about where I came from. Not literally where I came from because we were studying literary theories used by American writers to depict the American society in their novels, essays, and short stories written during the Medieval Ages until the 20th Century. But more on the concept of grassroots and how it influences our lives and defines our roles and purpose in society.
And speaking of community, I must say that I didn’t totally expect that I would blend in quite comfortably with the neighborhood – I love the people here. My landlords, for one, have been very accommodating in helping me get settled in and in patiently answering all of my queries (I had A LOT 😁). The neighbors are a composition of students, young (and old like me) professionals, and young families, and I am very grateful na walang pasaway sa kanila (sana). 😀 I always include each one of them in my prayers though I don’t know them well enough yet. 🙏
My first lugaw here in Sorsogon City at Vince Lugawan syempre kasi harap lang ng Victory Sorsogon.
Na-try ko din sa wakas ang Baluko. Delicioso. 😋🤌
God brought me to a place where everything I need is there.
Every time I am in a new place, the first thing I check is if it has all of the necessities i.e. has sufficient water supply; near the supermarket, banks, and restaurants; accessible via the main thoroughfare; located on elevated grounds; situated in a safe neighborhood; etc. At may pa-bonus pa si Lord. I did mention in my previous article that the apartment is located just a block away from Victory Sorsogon and just recently, I discovered that it’s also a couple of blocks away from Sorsogon City’s Rompeolas and the boulevard.
Seascapes on one side. Mountainscapes on the other side.Fishing communities. These are mangroves on my right. I would like to commend the LGU for their continued efforts in preserving mangroves in coastal communities.
And guess what, the pastor of Victory Sorsogon is a praying doctor. 😊 I first mentioned about the praying doctor in this article, and I believe it is not a coincidence that I am now attending church services led by a praying doctor. He is an EENT doctor, and Sunday services are held inside his clinic, which is converted into an assembly hall on Sundays. I was also grateful I got connected to a Bible study group led by Pastor Allan’s wife, Tita Jean, and comprised of women whom I admire considerably given the wisdom that they share since most of them are older than me.
Victory Sorsogon is one of my neighbors. 😉 Church services are held every 9:00 AM & 11:00 AM during Sundays.
A doctor during weekdays, a pastor during weekends. 🙂
Pastor/Doctor Allan of Victory Sorsogon
Thank you, Tita Jean and Ate Mutya, for welcoming me to your Victory Group. 🙏♥️😊
Thank you, men’s VG, for sharing your food with us, ze ladies. 👍👍
One of our Bible study group members is also currently battling cancer at a very young age. And we are planning to visit her at the BRTTH this Saturday. While it grieves me to find out that she’s critically ill, I believe this is already the start of the task that God has called me to do here in Sorsogon City. My Victory Group leader, Tita Jean, also told me the same thing. Being a breast cancer or cancer advocate is actually one of the reasons why I decided to live here.
Should my cancer cells become aggressive and progressive later on no matter how healthy my lifestyle is, it will be easier for me to undergo several treatments if needed i.e. chemotherapy, radiation, etc. here in the city. After Mom passed away last year because of stage 4 breast cancer, I’ve been doing a lot of research and have been joining cancer support groups on Facebook to find out more about the plight of every cancer patient.
I can then share everything I have learned from these groups to other cancer patients who are still not aware where and how to seek for help in terms of financial assistance, availing free medications, consultations, and laboratory tests, etc. while praying for them at the same time. And it looks like the Bible verse below will be my battlecry with the ultimate goal of helping more souls to be saved. 🙏
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” – Genesis 50:20
By the way, when it comes to knowing the community really well, I prefer to walk than drive around in the same way that I prefer to commute via public transportation than use a private car. I get to observe the places and the people more intimately this way. It’s like I get to share the space with them both as an observer and as a participant. Nasanay din ako sa UP Diliman na kapag nagmamadali ka at kulang na ang oras mo para antayin ang UP Ikot/Toki jeepney to get to the next class, which will be held in a building how many kilometers away from your previous class, you need to sprint so you won’t be late. lol Walking then became a habit albeit a good one.
God took me out of a season and welcomed me into a new season.
I mentioned in yet another article that one of the reasons why I came here to live in Sorsogon City is to heal holistically. And nope, I haven’t forgotten at all that I am still due this August for a repeat blood test. I am obeying the doctor’s orders this time. lol It will be the second laboratory test that I’ll be having here in the city. The first lab test was when I got infected by COVID-19 while taking care of Mom at one of the hospitals here last year.
But I got to know several cancer advocacies because of Mom’s battle against cancer, which I believe are all part of God’s plans. It was Him all along. I was just merely being used as a vessel that will take part in whatever it is that God is doing in the communities starting from the community of cancer patients. When I also reactivated my personal account on Facebook a couple of weeks ago to retrieve an old photo, the first story that popped up was a Facebook post of a former high school classmate whose hobby is knitting and crocheting. Again, this is not a coincidence. This is already God’s answer to another advocacy that I would like to join (or start) here in Sorsogon City, which, by God’s grace, will extend all throughout the province of Sorsogon and other nearby provinces, cities, and municipalities.
True enough, my eczema flareups subsided even though I am no longer taking Coaltria (a doctor-prescribed medication for my severe allergic rhinitis back in 2019) since I got here and even after prolonged sun exposure while strolling along Sorsogon City’s boulevard to get my regular dose of vitamin D and “vitamin sea.” If my repeat blood test comes out negative and my hematuria clears up, then there really is something about this place that miraculously healed me even without any medical intervention. 🙏
Definitely a memorable first stroll along the boulevard. ♥️Meanwhile, this is me here in the apartment on most days. Let’s try the Platypus pose again while waiting for the interview to start.Oh shucks, online na pala interviewer ko. Nakita kaya nya ang Platypus pose ko? 🤔😬😩😂
And I think you’re also dying to know how old I really am though some of you already know my age. My answer is that I have the heart of an 8-year-old girl, the body of a 38-year-old lady, and the soul of an 80-year-old woman. Will this answer suffice? 😅
Stay tuned for more of my “firsts” here in the city as I continue my new season and a new journey here. ❤
P.S.
I took this shot when this sweet little girl started making lambing most likely wondering why one of her meowmies e palaging nawawala ng ilang araw tapos biglang babalik. lol Isama ko na lang daw sya kaso bawal ang pets dito. 😁
Gimme, gimme some belly lovin’ rub, Meowmy.
P.P.S.
Every time nagko-commute ako sakay ng tricycle, ilang beses na akong sinabihan ng mga tricycle drivers dito na may kakilala sila na kahawig ko daw. Inaantay ko na lang talaga na may magsabi sa akin na kamukha ko si Mayor Alice Guo (I am chinita and I have long hair, too). Kasi ang isasagot ko ay yes, dito po ako tumatago ngayon sa Sorsogon City. lol 😆
Give me a thumbs up if you still find me funny. lol Chubby cheeks now signing off. 😎
This might be our last, only God knows, our last Christmas together as a married couple. Every goodbye is painful, and it would’ve been really easy to just walk away and leave everything behind.
But that is not what God is calling me to do. He’s asking me to wait a little longer because He still has some tasks for me to do here in Manila.
When I came here, I was asking God for an answer whether to fight for my marriage or not. An incident that took place on my birthday (sadly) prompted me to let go.
I was hurt. Deeply hurt. All the trauma of the past came back – lies, broken trust, and unfulfilled promises. I believe this is also why my infection got worse, my body was going through excessive emotional stress.
I was hoping for a change. But as they say, if people do not want to change, no amount of convincing is enough for them to do it. Unless they, themselves, decide that they want to change.
Finally, the right movie ticketsthis time. No need to change. 🙂
For the past 8 years, I have chosen to forgive even without the promise of change and at times the absence of apologies. It never mattered to me if I was disrespected or if boundaries had been violated.
Because the Bible says that if a brother sins against you and asks for forgiveness, forgive him every time. I was willing to endure. Though there were times when I asked God when will this suffering end.
A change in perspective. God, what else am I missing?
God’s answer to me was to endure until last December 22. I did cry a little bit, but a decision has been made. It was made in peace – a sign for me that God’s discipline is over. I endured, and God is releasing me from the bondage of sin and being unequally yoked.
I would’ve fought this decision over by being stubborn and by using my free will to fight for our marriage. But the day after, my infection got worse and God’s final words came:
“Your willpower is strong, Tin, but your body can no longer take it. I am giving you rest from everything, give you time to recharge, a time to heal so your body can recover, because I have more tasks for you to do. And the mission I am about to ask you to do requires that you are at your best self – healthy, at peace, and joyful. This mission requires helping others and you cannot help them if you, yourself, are dying on the inside and on the outside.”
I am claiming God’s beautiful promise that I will live long and die of old age though there are far too many times that I felt like maybe I would only make it this year or next year because all I ever did for the past years was to survive. So it does make sense if His first instruction to me for next year is to HEAL.
I will stay here in the city for now to help my husband because he needs a place to stay here in Manila while processing all the paperwork. This is the task that God is asking me to do while I am here. My husband is still my brother in Christ, and I will provide any help that I can give because that is the right thing to do in return for all the favors that he did for me and my family.
When awkward silences become unbearable, just take a photo. lol When you’re married, your best friend can also be your worst enemy. 😅
We all have our demons. We all have sinned. And yet, it is only God who can save us from these demons that haunt us every now and then and compel us to do things that we never want to do. And yet, this requires that we work with God, too. God can never save us if we feel like we don’t need any saving.
The acts of salvation and redemption always start with surrendering everything that is dark within us so God can eventually usher us out into the light. God is giving my husband another chance to change but without me this time, thus, God called my husband to work abroad.
My husband working abroad means it will be extremely difficult for us to navigate through every conflict that may arise in our marriage because of the distance especially if he still hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. Temptations will be even greater. If he comes back a changed man (for the better), then this marriage might still stand a chance until death parts us both.
But for now, we will pursue our dreams apart from each other because God wills it – his dream to work abroad and my dream to pursue agribusiness projects in Bicol. I may not see and understand the plans of God, but this separation is a divine calling, and God is asking me to obey.
The processing of my husband’s paperwork for his work abroad has also been smooth with very minimal hassle. I see this as a sign that this is what God is asking him to do for our own good. If my husband finds another woman to love while he’s abroad, then I will accept (though heartbreaking) the fact that I was never God’s intended true love for him.
And yet that will be another problem at another time. But for now, I will keep holding on to God’s promise for me when I saw my first perfect rainbow in Albay back in 2020 accompanied by the first Bible verse below. 🙏
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day, I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!” – Luke 1:45
I initially have no idea how this inclination to research about leaders started. My guess is that the experiences, circumstances, and opportunities that came along for this season probably have something to do with it.
While editing this article though a couple of days later, I realized that the Philippine general election this year (midterm election) has just concluded and a new set of government leaders are to enter office by June 2019.
I am usually mum when it comes to politics and everything involved with it. My husband is usually the one who shares his complaints about politics and why he doesn’t vote. His reason was that his one vote won’t mean anything against the greater percentage of Filipinos who will vote for the wrong candidates.
I also don’t vote but only because I haven’t felt the need to do so. And yet in the coming elections, I hope to participate as a voter and use this privilege as a citizen of this country. A privilege to a few citizens of this world actually as it is the cause of bloodshed and uprising in some countries just so they can exercise their right to vote.
How Our Leaders Have Fared Throughout History
I believe it’s a given that we cannot change the government now no matter how much we rally against them and show them their incompetencies and what they lack. This might sound less convincing coming from someone who graduated from a university that is popularly known as a breeding ground for activists. But for the record though, I didn’t attend any single one of the student-organized rallies in our school opposing how the government runs.
I told my husband that decades have already passed and activists still fight for the same causes and ask the same demands from the government. I see rallies as good, though. Why? It raises awareness on the social and political problems that our country faces each day for decades already, centuries even.
And yet decades have passed, too, and still, nothing happened. All their pleas fell on deaf ears. Corruption is still there, for one, among other third-world problems. Maybe it is about time we bring that change through our own efforts. God also has a good purpose why He allowed the appointment of our government officials now and though we have a choice on who to vote, we cannot really dictate the results of the election.
Start The Change, Be The Change
The kind of change that we can instill is how we raise the next generation of leaders. Are we going to raise them wherein fear of the Lord matters more than anything else? Are we going to raise future citizens who are going to be men and women of integrity even if it means going against the system? Will these future leaders remain true to their calling even if persecution comes and their lives will be at stake a la Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? Can we raise a generation of future leaders who are idealists and yet not of this world but of a higher standard which is that of God’s? Can we raise future leaders who will serve God first and their countrymen next?
I believe my stumbling upon the different types of leaders came by no accident. It is not just for the purpose of identifying different leaders but knowing the ones who honor God first and second, possess the leadership traits that our society, as a whole, needs.
The Different Types of Leaders
I found several types of leaders but just an overview, each of them has his/her own strengths and weaknesses and satisfies a particular need in every organization. I thought it best to discuss in this article the ones that will benefit an organization on a holistic level.
I came across transformational leadership through a Linkedin article and I was reminded of it again after a getaway with my college best friends. It was out of curiousity then that made me question the difference between a transformational leader and a visionary leader. I did my research and found these helpful links about their definitions and the delineations between each type.
Given all these, what the generation of future leaders needs from us now are mentors who uphold these values and leadership traits, live them out, and lead people towards God. Who are the figures of authority we see in our organizations now that are not driven by money, worldly success, and selfish gain?
It is my prayer that more and more of these people will be exposed to the limelight that they may become the salt and light to the youth. It is my belief that if we want to change how our government runs, it is not through ousting the current officials. But it is through honing the next set of leaders and learning from the mistakes committed by our leaders today.
Each and every one of us has a role to play. It is not just through our votes alone. It is more about our participation in raising the future leaders who will one day assume office in God’s appointed time.
I don’t involve myself in all the political bickering because every system has its own flaws. All we can only do is to learn from the failures of our system and our generation now and hope, pray, and involve ourselves in making sure the future generations won’t suffer the same fate.
You Are A Leader
Better yet, let us be the leader that God wants us to be in our homes, in school, at work, and in our communities. I see every individual who is part of an older generation as a leader because they have the wisdom and experiences that the younger generations don’t have (yet). There is no apprentice if there is no master, so to speak, and vice versa.
We don’t need a title to lead people. If we are called to make disciples, then that means God has already appointed us to be a leader not just inside the church but more importantly, outside our spiritual family. Every one of us is a born leader regardless of the status, background, and capabilities. This is our calling and whether we accept it or not, God’s purpose for us will still lead us to lead others.
“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” – 1 Timothy 4:12
“Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith.” – Hebrews 13:7
I’d like to end this article by leaving this question for us to ponder:
“As a leader of today’s generation, what does God want us to do now with the resources, knowledge, and skills bestowed upon each one of us?”
The Journeyman's Moments 