Tag Archives: relationship

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Love Is BLOG: Pag-unawa sa Pag-ibig

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Sinakto ko talaga na gawin ang sulating ito sa unang araw ng buwan ng Agosto. Isa ito sa aking kontribusyon sa paggunita ng Buwan ng Wika. At ito ay patungkol sa isang akda ng isang kapwa Pilipino.

Paano ko nga ba nabasa ito? Sabihin nating dumaan ako sa isang masalimuot na kaganapan sa aking buhay pag-ibig. Naghanap ng pagpapaliwanag sa aking pinagdadaanan hanggang sa may isang brother in Christ na bukas loob na nagbigay ng kanyang payo patungkol sa usaping pag-ibig. Tawagin natin sya sa pangalang Doctor Eamer, dahil layon nyang tumulong sa “paggamot'” ng mga pusong nasugatan. 🙂

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Preskripsyon ni Doctor Eamer.

Single ka ba? In a relationship? Married? Nasaktan sa pag-ibig? Masaya sa pag-ibig? Ano pa man ang status mo ngayon sa pakikipag-relasyon, minsan ba e tinatanong mo ang iyong sarili kung paano ba ang magmahal? (Hindi ito ang pelikulang The Breakup Playlist. Pero maganda rin iyon.)

Kung ang sagot mo ay oo, ang akda sa panulat ni Doctor Eamer na pinamagatang Love Is BLOG ay naaayon para sa’yo at nararapat lang na basahin mo ang kabuuan ng sulating ito. 🙂

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Love is Blog by Doctor Eamer

Ano ba ang Love is BLOG?

Kung ikaw ay nakabisita na sa blog ni Doctor Eamer, marahil may ideya ka na kung ano ang nilalaman ng libro. Pero kung hindi pa at hindi nyo rin kilala si Doctor Eamer, bigyan ko na kayo ng kaunting detalye.

Si Doctor Eamer na may akda ng Love is BLOG ay isang binatang may layon na tumulong para maunawaan natin ang kahulugan ng salitang ito – pag-ibig.

Isa syang graduate student ngayon ng UP Los Baños. Oo, sya ay may angking talino. Kaya ‘wag kang magtataka kung malaman mong nakapagtapos sya bilang cum laude sa UP Los Baños din sa kursong BS Chemical Engineering. Ngunit kapag nakilala mo sya sa pamamagitan ng kanyang mga lathalain, mas hahanga ka sa kanyang katapatan sa paglalahad ng kanyang mga saloobin sa usaping pag-ibig na sadya namang nagpapatunay na hindi lang sya may angking talino kundi may puso ding nagnanais na makatulong sa kapwa sa pamamagitan ng kanyang ask.fm.

Ngayon panigurado gusto nyo ng bisitahin ang kanyang blog, pero antay lang muna tayo ng konti dahil dadako na tayo sa kanyang librong Love is BLOG.

Oo, ito ay patungkol sa pag-ibig. Pero hindi lang ito isang ordinaryong kwento ng pag-ibig. Dahil ang kahulugan ng pag-ibig sa akda nyang ito ay hindi yaong pag-ibig na madalas nating nababasa o naririnig. Kung kaya naman ganun na lamang kalapad ng aking mga ngiti simula isang tenga hanggang sa kabila labas pati gilagid nang matapos kong basahin ang kanyang aklat.

Hindi lamang tuwa at saya ang dala ng pagbabasa ng kanyang libro, nariyan na’t napapaisip ka, napapatango, napapatanong sa sarili pero kadalasan naliliwanagan. “Oo nga noh,”  ‘yun ang alam kong kadalasan mong masasambit habang binabasa ang kanyang libro.

Ang Love is BLOG ay ang unang librong naisulat ni Doctor Eamer na naging produkto ng mga nauna nyang artikulong ipinaskil sa kanyang blog. Isa itong obra maestra na masasabi kong kapana-panabik basahin. Oo, natapos ko sya sa isang upuan lang dahil andun yung pagaasam mo na malaman ang mga susunod na pangyayari at malaman ang kabuuan ng kwento.

Pero kung may isang bagay lang akong labis na nagustuhan sa kanyang libro, ‘yun ay ang pagiging totoo nito. Totoo sa paraang minsan nakikita ko ang sarili ko doon sa mga kwento nya, nakakasabay ako sa agos ng kwento. Sa ibang salita, hindi malayo ang istorya sa mga pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan ng bawat isa sa atin.

Ooopps, mukhang napapahaba na ito ah. Baka makwento ko na dito ang kwento nya. Ahaha

So paano ‘yan mga kaibigan kong mambabasa, hanggang dito na lang muna at kailangan ko na kayong ilipat sa orihinal na kwentong pag-ibig, ang Love is BLOG. Interesado kang malaman paano makabili ng libro? Kontakin lamang si Doctor Eamer sa email address nya (iamdoctoreamer@gmail.com) o bisitahin ang kanyang blog: https://iamdoctoreamer.wordpress.com/.

Hindi natin alam, baka dahil sa librong ito, mabago din ang buhay mo. Pero panigurado ako, lahat ng katanungan mo sa pag-ibig, mahahanap mo ang kasagutan dito. 😉

At sana makatulong itong bible verse para sa puso nyo mga kapatid:

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

Tin Ginete

Love is God, God is love. 🙂

A Recollection

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Now I understand. 🙂

I could still remember the week prior to his engagement proposal.

Everything around us was chaos, conflict upon conflict, sin upon sin, piling up higher and higher. Then came the snapping point – our mediator, God, stood between us. He called for a time out before things get really rough and things get worse.

5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke our routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days it was all just God and me, God and him.

I thought of it as being in a detention room, only me and God and He was clearing the issues out personally, one by one – a reprimand, a rebuke, a renewal.

And yet God showed mercy by keeping His promise – an open communication between me and him. We obeyed His instructions, we valued what would honor Him. We met after a week and it was love all over.

The engagement proposal happened.

Things were doing well. Then planning came here and there. Preparations are everywhere, aligning of priorities were highlighted. Emotions started to build up, conflicts came again, sins erupted yet again, higher and higher once again.

Then came the saturation point – God once again stood at the middle as the mediator. God is again calling for a time out before things get worse, before ruining completely anything beautiful in the relationship.

5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke the routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days there was just me and God, him and God.

Once again, God has showed His mercy by keeping His promise – the communication was there, no one burned bridges.

On the night of the 5th day which was last Sunday, I reached out to him regarding a pressing concern in our business venture that I know he can only relate. He called, I answered. It was love all over again.

He wanted to see me but I can only suggest that we pray to God regarding that.

He said, “I love you so much…You do know how much I love you…”

I said, “Yes, I do love you so much too. But let’s take things one at a time for now – we need not rush anything. We need to trust God and put Him at the center. First.”

Now I understand. 🙂

God is faithful in His promises. The reason why He gives us a time out is because when conflicts seem to cloud almost the entire relationship and we become absorbed with the problems right in front of us, He would pull us out of the situation, away from further harm, so we could see the bigger picture.

He wanted us to see the good in the relationship even when things get really tough – by realigning our thoughts with His. He wanted to make things right and it can only happen when we surrender everything to His will. When things happen prematurely, God knows there will be pitfalls and storms and yet by His love and mercy, He gives the grace for us to bear it all and come out intact and whole.

My ex fiance once told me, “You cannot judge me and my faith because faith is a personal relationship with God – it is only between me and Him.”

Silence.

He was right.

For now I see that yes, God sees the intentions and conditions of our hearts and it is because of that that’s why He didn’t allow our circumstances to harden our hearts and protected us from destroying one another because of pride, bitterness and anger. He made us see the power of prayer, forgiveness and most especially, love. He allowed us to communicate still.

God kept His promise, the ongoing communication was our hope. It is now in our choice if we will claim that promise.

And yet I believe God does not just intend a week this time for us to master that peace, have complete healing and set things right through a Godly perspective. He will restore things when the perfect time has come and when we are both ready. Something that can only be achieved by trusting in Him completely day by day. 🙂

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7 NLT

Day 1: STRENGTH

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Today is June 30.

Today marks the first day of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting 2015 in church.

Today is the day I ended a current relationship and reconciled with a former relationship.

Today is all about STRENGTH.

Last Sunday, I was with my fiance and his family to celebrate his brother’s birthday. In case you have been reading my previous posts, a devoted believer put in the midst of non believers is a really tough case. Values wise, any differences could have been resolved if God was the priority and at the center.

But that was not the case. And yet, I am not writing this to complain but to share my faith. 

Having a non believer as a partner is indeed being yoked unequally. It is difficult to agree on certain matters for two perspectives are at hand – worldly (his) and Godly (mine). And yet, God is so faithful He gave me the strength, patience and the means to endure it all.

I can only accept our differences: good moral values, upright conduct, beliefs in faith, etc. BUT there is a time for everything as God puts it in the bible.

A saturation point so to speak.

This time calls for things to come into a final halt. I don’t mean to judge but I meant to enlighten by sharing in some unfavorable experiences I have had. It is not for us to judge though and condemn but God’s.

Last Sunday I was with my fiance’s family. I was a guest, I do not make the call what time we go to church, what time we leave the house, etc. As a Victory group leader, we were advised by our spiritual leaders to arrive early during a Sunday service. But we arrived late for so many reasons being able to hear only the last few stanzas of the last worship song. I felt broken. I was there in church feeling guilty not being able to live up to my responsibilities as a group leader. And yet it was not my choice to make. I tried to fight against the feeling of guilt, a little bit of anger and sadness within me and just be thankful we still ended up in church.

Then it was time for the lecture to be delivered and Pastor Jonathan of Victory Alabang led the discussion. Word after word, my heart was slowly being torn apart – the message was for me. I was fighting back those tears. Those tears of how many months of trying to fight for faith against the worldly, of keeping quiet and enduring it all and those moments of pain from conflicts. My heart was so heavy I knew it was the Spirit asking me to do something. Pastor Jonathan just nailed it when he preached regarding “darkness” and what it means to us. Especially when he talked about marriage, that maybe the conflicts did not come from the enemy anymore but from myself – a reluctant and stubborn heart to pursue my desires, my plans and my lack of strength to let go and let God. I was on the verge of raising my hand for that second altar call, but I know there is no such thing. Or if there is, then God knows I already made it at that moment. The wounds have been exposed now in the open and they hurt even more. I can no longer bear it and yet I know I needed to move on and pray even more.

It was funny though I remembered walking out of the worship hall with a smile of relief. Then for the first time, we went out the exit door where books on faith and devotionals were being sold. I felt a tug in my heart to browse through them. And I believe these books were picked by the Spirit for me for the season I am in right now. And I bought a baller too – my first about faith. And I remembered telling my fiance jokingly that I will buy a memorabilia as this might be the last time I’ll be attending Victory Alabang. And it looks like the joke really was on me. 😀

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Faith memorabilia.

Touchpoints for Women: God’s Answers for Your Every Need is the perfect devotional book for women dealing with specific issues. And I did not read the first page yet, I was waiting for the right time. And the other book I bought was the only book available there on relationships, marriage and faith – The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love. This, too, I have read the first page but decided not to continue as I am no longer in this season. I just thought that this is all God’s way of preparing me for something in the future.

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Touchpoints for Women

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The Act of Marriage

I was keeping my calm when at a buffet restaurant, all the rest of the family including my fiance and his Mom, agreed to sneak out some sweets to give to a niece back home. I gently reminded my fiance that it is a Sunday and we just finished attending church and we are all aware that it is against the restaurant’s policies to take out any food. I was grateful my fiance listened when I told him if ever you get caught, consider that we are both professionals – I am a teacher, you are a nurse. We both were given licenses to nurse and to teach under the oath that we will behave appropriately in public. They were drinking too and it was not a big deal for me and yet when my fiance was advised that a vice is more important than work which made him decide to file for a sick leave the next day, I was broken again. Another heavy heart for me and yet ended with a smile of relief.

I stayed at their place which is one of the things I am totally against as it gives room for temptation to enter in, and yet by God’s grace, temptation failed to get in. Next day, I accompanied my fiance to the bank to deposit money and we had another conflict and this was the first time I experienced how far his rage could go. He pushed me out of his anger and when we were having the heated discussion I saw his trembling hands while rummaging on his things. Yes, it was an accident that he did it – out of his anger. So I thought it best I leave him alone for the meantime and let him cool down his temper. And yet it made me think too that it was a red flag. A guy who easily gets angry and could not control it will lead to physical violence. Domestic violence is not the kind of home I wished for my kids to grow up in. He did apologize after and I have forgiven him. I was broken and yet there is that smile of relief.

In the afternoon, we were on our way to Starbucks to celebrate the wedding anniversary of their parents as his dad is not here. Came the moment that his mom inquired regarding our business venture and our plans. His mom lent us some money to be able to start the business and indeed, the borrower is a servant to the lender. For during the discussion, I felt that his mom was suggesting things about the business and asking me why are you planning this if you want this and that and at that time, I was also talking through text with a business partner regarding a business meeting that I wasn’t able to attend because I prioritized my fiance and his family and it didn’t turn out as planned. There were a lot of things going on in my head, I was not in the right mood to talk about serious things and it was too late for me to realize that I was already answering in a very aggressive and offensive tone. I was provoked and yet my fiance did not support me and our plans but instead blamed me why we are in complicated situations right now.

My heart was broken. His Mom went on to “advice” on what to do, what we should do in front of my fiance and his sister. Some were very insulting and I am already aware that she doesn’t notice too how offensive her words could get as I was told by the girlfriend of my fiance’s brother who was also in conflict with my fiance’s Mom for the very same reasons which ended in broken relationships with the future in laws. My body was trembling out of anger that I was suppressing. I was controlling not to let tempers loose and holding back my tongue not to say words that are even worse. I was able to listen and they were able to laugh and talk about things although they sensed I was not in my happy mood. And his Mom was affected by my inability to join in the fun. I tried but it was not that easy to let go as if nothing happened. And yet a smile of relief came through – I need to respect her.

No shouting, no curses and temper outbursts came through from me, I was able to hold it all back and just listened when she made the final statements. I stayed silent and talked with them when I can and smiled when I have to all the way home. My fiance gave me a cold shoulder not talking to me while eating and when he was driving us home and I was seated beside him. I stayed silent and broken for I know now how Jesus felt when everyone around Him abandoned Him and was persecuting and condemning Him, but I was able to smile with relief – I was able to pour out all my concerns and my side to his mom, although my mistake was, emotions took hold mostly of the discussion.

When we got home, the Spirit convicted me to do the right thing – apologize. I wanted to talk to his Mom personally but couldn’t find the right moment to talk privately so I chose Facebook instead to send her a letter of apology for how I behaved and if I have offended her. I also apologized to her personally when I said my “goodbyes” when we left the next day. In the letter, I thanked her for her suggestions keeping in my mind that she only wanted what is best for me and my fiance. I also apologized to my fiance but it came to another heated discussion – my fiance blamed me for ruining his parents’ wedding anniversary celebration. Aggression and blaming were there. Until he blurted out that I am not worthy of his respect at all. Yes, I was broken again and yet came a smile of relief afterwards – I cried to him explaining my side that as my future spouse, he should support me and our plans at all times because the spouse should always come next to God. I tried to understand him knowing how my fiance is so dependent and attached with his Mom that he could not even let go of that attachment even now that we were about to be married – one of our ongoing conflicts.

At this point, allow me to share some very important points during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church. I highly recommend you attend one as it will answer the question if both of you are REALLY ready to commit:

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Putting GOD at the center.

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“Leaving”

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“Cleaving”

We were able to end the conversation peacefully and decided to learn from the experience and move on although we did contemplate on breaking up and he wanted to end things already. I reminded him about the lecture service we just heard last Sunday and quoted bible verses. I can only hope and pray they all got through to him.

We said our “goodnights” but I suddenly woke up at 3:30am. And I thought I heard someone called me. I couldn’t go back to sleep anymore and was contemplating on telling my fiance the next morning to end the relationship formally as I believe it is what God was asking at the moment. We have ended the relationship so many times and yet neither of us have the courage and the strength to be firm with our decision considering a lot of factors, i.e. love is not an emotion but a decision; we will dishonor God if we break the commitment; etc.

I was praying all along for God to save me from this “darkness.” I no longer feel safe, I am not happy and my faith was always tested. And yet, God assured me and prepared me for this – for I know these are all His plans. I took a cab the day before I went to their place and I know it is not a coincidence that this is the name of the cab I was riding:

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God Driven Jankei (I interpreted it as God-Driven Junkie). 😉

And when we were driving home from Starbucks and even going to church, incoming trucks from the opposite lane mostly have a “God Promised” sign board on top. I didn’t know what they meant at that time and even now. And I thought, I must be dreaming or I must be in another dimension, or am I already in Heaven? 😀 Yep, I was broken, but I can smile with relief knowing that God is with me anywhere and I need not fear.

I was sleepless last night silently praying to God to give me peace and to continue seeking for His forgiveness and having a forgiving heart letting go of the past. And when my fiance and I boarded the bus going back to Manila this morning, I just let the peace that God gave me to fill me in. And yet that peace came out of a decision – the decision to finally let go of the relationship and let God take control.

Yes, letting go of my worldly relationship with my fiance and reconcile with my spiritual relationship with my God.

My fiance and his family are not perfect in the same way that me and my family and all the people in this world are not perfect and will be making mistakes one way or the other. It is all a matter of seeking God’s forgiveness and obedience to God’s instructions. I can only pray for their salvation in the same way I am praying for my transformation every day. I texted my fiance this morning that I would have opted to end things personally and yet I know the situation calls we end it now. God is asking us to do it and He is asking us to trust Him what His plans are for both of us in the following days, weeks, months or years even. It has been said that during the Prayer and Fasting, the Spirit works at its best because it is most powerful during this moment. When I got off the bus, it is just strange that the ticketing personnel of the bus assisted me down as if I am a debutante walking down the stairs although I am only carrying two little bags. And it is also strange how the tricycle driver said “I love you” to me after paying my fare when I took the tricycle going to our apartment.

They are very strange but I got an answer: God was telling me I am still worthy of respect despite my fiance telling me last night I am not worthy of his respect and despite my failures and I even thought that could it be that God was in that tricycle driver as if telling me and comforting me,

“My child, I love you and you have nothing to worry nor to fear for I am with you always, anywhere, anytime. Let go of the things that you have no control over so I can take control of them. Leave them all up to me. I am ALL THAT YOU NEED.”

Which now made me realize why I chose or the Spirit chose my baller for me that says this: Jesus + Nothing = EVERYTHING.

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Jesus + Nothing = Everything

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John 1:3

God is more than enough, Jesus is worth the sacrifice.

I remembered one instance I shared to my brother about the conflicts that my fiance and I had, and he told me to just endure it all. He said that they might be a test of faith and if I get used to giving up easily, it will also reflect in other decisions I make in life. Or maybe the reason why I am going through the same things I did in the past was because I keep on making a mistake – that of choosing a man who is not after God’s heart. He said that they just differ in names and background but personality wise, they are the same because they are not yet believers. He told me we cannot judge for even Christian guys and Pastors make mistakes but let’s just wait what God’s plans are. For the meantime, he asked me to be assured always and to pray and the question I asked back at him was this,

“I can trust him even if he makes mistakes repeatedly and no matter how dark his past was if and only if I know that he was already born again, now a devoted Christian and was already saved. For I know every time he makes a mistake, he will experience Godly sorrow and will go back to God. But he was not saved yet – no sincere and genuine repentance took place in his past, how would he know how to search for God and go back to Him when conflicts arise and things fall apart?”

My brother was silent for a moment and just simply said, “Now that is the thing we cannot control anymore.”

As of writing, I just finished my Day 1 Prayer and Fasting devotion and getting ready for the prayer meeting tonight to know more of the Spirit’s revelations. I have decided to not log in on Facebook and Twitter for the entire duration of the prayer and fasting week and turn off my phone by day and turn it on by 6pm onwards as part of controlling addictions. I committed to a once-a-day-meal type of fast and yet unbelievably, I do not feel any hunger at all. All I ever wanted to do is immerse myself on “spiritual food” and share via my megaphone regarding my faith – this blog. But since I committed to a once-a-day meal fast, I will uphold to that commitment. 🙂

I am smiling – with relief, contentment and peace. I am praying, still, for healing, for guidance, discernment on God’s will and that my plans will be more in tune with His this time, more strength, more courage, more patience and restoration of things that were broken. But I am now assured that I can only put my hopes in God alone. Indeed, true love and security can only be found in Him. And I can only be grateful to Him for this hope, this second salvation, this peace and this love that now gives me joy for I can now serve my Lord wholly in truth and in purity.

Thank God for the STRENGTH. 🙂

P.S.

There really is something about number 3 – my water baptism was 3/3/13 (the day I was reborn), I always wake up around 3:30am not knowing why and I receive my daily bible verse notification from my bible app every 3:00pm though I set it to appear every 9am.

So…I don’t want to go ahead of God’s plans but I am believing in His promises (if these are His promises) –  that I’ll give it 3 days to let things heal during this prayer and fasting, seek for forgiveness from people I have hurt, apply the 3-month-no-dating rule, pray to God how to tell our families, move on with a new and Godly perspective, maybe get married by age 31 as I am claiming I am done with my grad study by that time (I am now 29 turning 30 this December), spend a year with my future husband as a married couple to get to know each other better living under one roof and have my first baby when I am 33. 😀

Still, “many are the plans of man but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail.”  I can only praise God for giving me this now – HOPE, may it be in numbers, in signs, in words, in other people, in the Scripture or even in that tricycle driver. 😉

A Letter To My Father

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This is my biological Dad. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! 🙂

This post may be a tad late for the Father’s Day celebration, but I was led by the Spirit to write this now. And I believe this will testify to yet another living testimony of God’s grace and love that run throughout all the generations of this world and the generations to come.

I am confident that downloading the movie The Shawshank Redemption (1994) from my brother’s hard drive two days ago where I got this inspiring quote from is not a choice by chance.

“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice.” – Red, The Shawshank Redemption

This was followed by a leading to one article I read while browsing in my Facebook news feed entries yesterday entitled 10 Songs To Strengthen Your Marriage which was a breather after going through quite some rough challenges lately when it comes to relational issues. It then finally led me to reading about the author of the article and her favorite Christian movies, one of them is Letters To God (2010).

I was prodded to watch it as I haven’t seen it and after crying buckets of tears and silently praying to God in my heart since I totally can relate to every scene in the movie, I was prompted to write this article. This will be my first and most important Father’s Day greeting I have written in my 30 years of existence to our one and only beloved and Greatest Father of all, GOD.

They are all not a coincidence. God has a plan for everything and for each and every one of us. That, I am sure of. So here goes my simple letter.

Dear Father God,

You have seen my struggles and yet you have opened my eyes to see the struggles of others too. It is hard to love others through their imperfections while dealing with my own and yet You teach me how to love like how You loved us every single day. I can only express my utmost gratitude in this short letter of mine because despite of the pain, the tears and the heartbreaks, You made me see the beauty behind it all.

You have made me see the truth, the “whys” and the “hows” of the existence of this and that from the tangible to the not so tangible. Most importantly, You have showed me that living life without You is empty, pointless and meaningless. Through it all, it is only the Cross that You have taught me to see, to look up to and then have a different perspective of this world and the things around me. 

As much as I pray for the salvation of those around me, I actually pray for the salvation of everyone in this world. The world needs Your healing, Father. It needs more of Your love which never falters day in and day out for as long as there is a single form of life in this world. The Heavens and the Earth are all Yours. You have showered us with this magnificence to reveal to us that indeed, no other person could ever bridge those two together except through Your Son Jesus Christ whom You have risen from the dead who then became our way towards eternity. 

You can see each and every heart in this Earth, Father, and I pray that You would continue to open them hearts and shine Your light upon them. There is nothing I could pray far too deeply right now than to let it be known to Your people how much they are loved by You for we are your precious children. I will continue to sing praises and worship You, my Father, as Your daughter. And I will love you as my Father who is always there for me and always will be until the end of time.

All these I pray in the Mighty Name of Jesus,

Amen.

2 Corinthians 3:3

 “Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.”

10 Songs To Strengthen Your Marriage

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I stumbled across this article in my Facebook news feed and I thought it best to share it here as it is a compilation of some of the uplifting videos I have watched regarding Christian marriages. May it also uplift you one way or the other, married or not. 🙂

Here is the link to the article: http://www.hearitfirst.com/news/10-songs-to-strengthen-your-marriage

DIY Project: Memories In A Bottle

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Now here it is. 🙂

I have decided to come up with this project of filling in empty bottles with memorabilia from certain special events. I posted just recently regarding flowers from my brother’s wedding last April and been contemplating what to do with them. I have been staring at them for quite some time now whether to throw them away or not as they are still beautiful and lovely to look at though they’ve been dried for almost a month already. I finally decided to do the latter.

So to make this project materialize, I gathered an empty bottle which was an old Hennessy bottle from Dad’s collection and my hair spray. Sprayed each flower one by one even the tiniest and I let them dry for a couple of minutes before putting them inside the bottle. Then for a finishing touch, put a ribbon, a straw or any piece of string that you have around the neck of the bottle near the rim.

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Preserving dried flowers essentials.

And this is the final output:

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Brother’s Wedding Memorabilia

It is now my second bottle of another memory as my first preserved rose in a bottle was the first Valentine’s Day rose given to me by my bf last year and who is now my fiance. 😉

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Memories In A Bottle

So, how far will your sentimentality take you? 🙂

Free and Forgiven

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“God breaks us apart so we can be whole in Him.”

Far too often read and said in any faith-motivating speech or article. And yet I only got to take in the gist of it all now in this season.

God breaks our hearts open so we could become vulnerable. It is through our vulnerability that we become aware of our weaknesses. In our weaknesses we then become aware that we need a God who will help us overcome them weaknesses.

In this moment of vulnerability we are put in a crucial spot of choosing whether to let the enemy deceive us and win or choose God and be guided.

Oftentimes the enemy’s powerful weapon is deception and his perfect tool to accomplish it is your past. Sometimes your past will come again just before your eyes. And you have two things in your hand:

1. You let it destroy your present by feeling guilty and shameful once again.

OR.

2. You can choose to dismiss it because you are now free and forgiven – if you have been saved already.

I must say I was bordering number 1 to the point that my faith began to slacken. Fear overtook and then it just dawned on me that I haven’t attended church for a while now due to commitments, a busy schedule and  a lot of intervening factors that I didn’t see them coming including the conflicts in my personal relationships that aggravated the disconnect in faith.

But God is faithful. He doesn’t give you something wherein that something will be of no good use to you. He sometimes uses them in circumstances that you least likely expect. I shared to my fiance the feeling of disconnection I have lately and that I feel I am not entitled to be in church anymore because my old self is coming back and he was also a witness of that. He has seen the kind of rage I used to have and the old bad habits overtaking me for the most part.

Yet it was him that I least expect to say that “the more that we have to go to church.” And I was shocked to hear it coming from him. Definitely not him whom I am urging to join a bible study group and a one to one discipleship so he would be born again but he declined saying it is not yet the perfect time. Not him whom I consider as not yet a devoted believer based on my own standards.

And yet again, God made me realize at that moment that my fiance is also my brother in Christ because he is His precious child too. It is not for me to judge why he has been given to me or whether he is the 1 or from the 99.

We went to church and once again I felt refreshed and renewed. But came more pressing issues, the wedding. Ideally, the engagement period should last for 6 months utmost according to the Marriage Preparation Seminar we attended in church. And this month is our 6th month as a couple. The temptation is getting strong but we cannot pull off a church wedding this year. Came another option – have a civil wedding.

But my constant question came out of fear – “Will I forever be unequally yoked?” There is no more turning back after the wedding – it is the real deal. They say that a husband/wife can make or break you. He wasn’t able to join a group in church whom he can consider as his spiritual family through his fellow brothers in Christ before we get married.

I was beginning to lose hope in connecting him with a spiritual family who would help him foster a deeper relationship with the Lord. Because I know I can never change Him and all God can through a spiritual family. It will never be enough that we attend church.

And while I was brooding over the options we have, asking God, praying to God, came a thought that never ever crossed my mind until now. When we get married, I will no longer be attending my bible study group with fellow single sisters in Christ but will be joining a couples’ bible study group. Chances are high that he will be attending it with me. Because he knows how vital it is for me to attend a bible study group and I plan to have it before our usual church service. And that answers my question.

There is still hope that he will be saved. 

And having this in mind, I can only shout praises of honor and glory to Him. Indeed, my little, human mind will never ever grasp God’s bigger plans and what is to come. I can only wait when He instructs and reveals all in His perfect time. I asked him a couple days ago if he is interested to join a couple’s bible study group and he said, “yes.” And for now, what I can only do is continue praying that God will keep His beautiful promises for us both as a couple and that we may grow spiritually together along and through other fellow couples in Christ. 🙂

Indeed, the way that every person is saved is very different from the other. I was so clueless before and so focused on the problem that I never noticed God is showing me there is ALWAYS hope through Jesus Christ who is the way, the truth and the light. And now I understand too why when I had my bible study group for fellow single sisters in Christ, I have a co leader. She will be taking in charge of the group when the right time comes for me to leave the group. It will be heartbreaking but I am also praying I get to keep my fellowship with them even if I’m in a new season already.

I was in utmost humility as I suddenly remembered this verse all through this:

Matthew 8:26

” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then He got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.”

Indeed, I have so little faith and yet I am always and forever will be grateful God is faithful, He gives me PEACE, He provides me EVERYTHING and never fails in keeping His promises. His LOVE endures forever though I do not deserve it. It is time I grow my faith bigger in this season. I have read in Rick Warren’s book that we have to set aside our own personal agenda and focus on loving other people more not looking on who they were and who they are now but rather on who they can be.

I cannot tell for certain what I know is what will happen. For I cannot see the plans of God. And yet it is just comforting to know that God is and will be with me along the way. He just not give me signs and verses from the Scripture but importantly, I can feel that the Spirit is leading the way. I know that like how Jesus completed His mission, so too are we going to carry our own “cross.” And what I have shared may be what I have to carry for now. The following verses reminded me that:

Matthew 16:24 NLT

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”

Matthew 7:14 NLT

“But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.”

And an even GREATER reminder – OBEDIENCE:

1 Samuel 15:22 NLT

“But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord : your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice?

Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”

I believe this is what God meant to be really free and forgiven. And I can only pray that I’d be successful in completing the mission of glorifying Him, making Him known until the time comes I can also say that “it is finished.” 🙂

The Seed

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Tin Ginete

Calamansi Seed

A commitment is like a seed.

When a gardener plants a seed, he waters and cares for it so it’ll grow. And then when it becomes a plant, the gardener still tends for it.

But like any plant, it will go through certain seasons of storm and drought. And just like a commitment, you will do everything to protect that plant. You will not allow a storm to uproot it. Nor you let the drought take away its life.

The gardener protects it – lovingly, carefully and joyfully. Regardless if a storm or a drought passes by.

The gardener wants only one thing – that when he plants the seed in the soil, it’ll grow steady and strong that even if the mightiest of storms and the longest of droughts come, it’ll survive. He wants it to lay grounded, both striving and thriving.

A commitment is like a relationship. God is like the gardener. The seed is like a husband and the soil is like a wife. God knows what kind of seed thrives in what kind of soil and vice versa.

And just like a seed planted in the ground that cannot survive well for a long period of time without a gardener, so is a relationship without God. 🙂

How To Become A Woman

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A battle of the sexes a.k.a. understanding the female psyche it is. But then, there cannot be a comparison at all – men and women were created differently. And yet, I have the following questions for us to ponder:

1. How do you become gentle when you have been trained in your university as a college student to be assertive and to be outspoken in your thoughts and opinions?

2. How do you learn to be dependent when you have been taught as a kid to survive for survival’s sake?

3. How can you be submissive when you have been used to living alone taking matters in your own hands i. e. decision making, responsibilities at home, planning, etc.?

4. How do you follow when you have been trained to take the lead?

5. How do you unlearn everything you have learned?

It was all written in the Scripture what a woman’s role clearly is – the Proverbs 31 woman. And as much as it is not my duty to question a law that has been made hundreds of centuries ago, I can’t help but wonder if such laws are still applicable today if a lot of things have already changed in context – socially, culturally and politically.

The definition of what a woman is and should be has radically changed all throughout the years. Thus, could there be a possibility that some pre-conceived notion of gender may already be considered as irrelevant today? Or a paradigm shift is required to re-align our thoughts to what was previously dictated?

Questions. They need not be answered. Or perhaps they will be answered. It is all just, once again, a matter of waiting.

Culture has a way of creating ideals and mind sets that in time become a barrier too solid to break. For a man it is, but with God, it is possible. Just like how things were before, now and in the times to come. 🙂

It Was His Birthday

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I only had the opportunity to share this special moment here just now and my reason for sharing is that this blog of mine might be the only e-memory I have of moments I make and will be making. I might have amnesia, short term memory loss or I might get into a car accident and lose all memories I have, etc….. well, we can never tell. 🙂

His birthday was last May 4th and last year, I made a pencil sketch of him as a birthday gift.

Brian Rome

“Mi Amor” (9″ x 12″ Pencil Sketch)

Tin Ginete

May 4, 2014

And for this year, I thought about doing something different. I just used the poem I made for him and gave him when we first met.

Tin Ginete

Blanket of Love by Tin Ginete

This is the link of the poem which is the acronym of his name:

https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/blanket-of-love/ 

And here’s the finished output for his birthday surprise this year and biblical quotations about love from 1 Corinthians 13. Let the love begin…. 😉

Love Is the Greatest

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”