Tag Archives: tips

What You Need To Know About Sigma Females And INTJs

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I’ll be very busy this week preparing for my trip back to Bicol next week, so I might not be able to post a new article here on my blog for a while. I thought I’d share with you a couple of articles about “Sigma Females” and the “INTJs.” These two personality types closely define who I am. And hopefully, too, these articles will help you understand why I’m a unicorn, the mythical creature. 🦄😅

If you’re dating a woman or are interested in dating a girl, try to find out if she is in either or both of these categories. Because our types are rare (the rarest actually according to research) BUT not easy to handle. Study her first, and ask yourself if she’s worth pursuing. This might just save you from a painful heartbreak later on. 👍

Identifying An INTJ

“INTJ: Personality Type, Characteristics And More”

“The Philosophy of Why INTJs are So Attractive (And How to Leverage It)”

About INTJ – ‘The Mastermind’

“INTJ Personality Type: The Architect”

“Dating an INTJ Female”

“How To Spot An INTJ Female”

I discovered I’m an INTJ during the volunteers’ training I attended in church back in 2014. The organizers included the personality test to identify what are our strengths and weaknesses that could either help or impede in performing our duties as volunteers.

I’m not surprised I scored 90% in introversion. 😅
For the NTJ parts of the test, I have almost median scores. I am assuming I might also be an INFJ or an ISTP depending on the circumstances I’m in.

Who Is A Sigma Female?

“The SIGMA FEMALE | 0.1% The Rarest Female on Earth”

“Sigma Female Personality Traits Explained”

“Sigma Woman: An Independent and Mysterious Personality”

Myers-Briggs Personality Test

“Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI): A Beginner’s Guide”

“Myers-Briggs Definition”

“Myers-Briggs Official Website”

“Myers-Briggs Type Indicator in Medical Education: A Narrative Review and Analysis”

“How good is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for predicting leadership-related behaviors?”

While these articles can help you understand Sigma females and INTJs a bit more, I would still recommend being friends with someone for a long time before pursuing a romantic relationship with him or her. It’s best to know a person based on how you two get along – that is, great chemistry. And if God is at the center of it, the bond will be unbreakable. ♥️

Here’s a great article on Christian dating: “The Golden Rule In Christian Dating.”

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12

7 Good Reasons Why You Should Write Often | Writing Tips

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When it comes to writing tips, you’ll encounter a lot of them on the web. The more results you can gather online through your research, the better. They will help you become more rounded as a writer. Here are some writing hacks I’d like to share with you which you can add to your roster.

7 Writing Tips: Why Writing Often is Better

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1. Writing often builds your vocabulary.

Have you ever had that moment when you were trying to grasp that particular word and you can tell that it’s already at the tip of your tongue? But unfortunately, it just seems to be stuck in there. Ugh. I know that feeling. I oftentimes have that moment and it’s not comforting in any way most especially when you have the best ideas but you can’t put them into words. Tragic, isn’t it?

I have discovered that the remedy to that is to write and write and write so you’ll build your vocabulary. Maximize the use of your Merriam Webster dictionary, Google search, your synonyms, antonyms, anything that can be building blocks for your vocabulary. In no time, you’ll find it easier to share your thoughts because words just come as fluid as they can be.

2. Writing often will help you build a decent portfolio.

This is one of the writing tips I have gathered from my own experience. Did you know that employers also take a look at your blogs when you apply to them as a writer? Your blog articles don’t just come handy when it comes to writing careers, you can also use it to jumpstart your web or graphic designing career. Or why not have both?

The more skilled you are, the higher the chances an employer will hire you. In some cases, your employer might request you create a new sample of your writing but having your blog around can be a good backup.

3. Writing often helps you research more.

When you write, you need ideas. Though writers are very much capable of coming up with their own creative and brilliant ideas, those ideas can be ignited by another idea you read or saw somewhere on the internet. I believe this is what the world wide web and social networking are all about. You learn from what other people post out there.

But take this as a word of caution: not all of what’s on the internet can be classified as true, factual, and reliable. Conducting due diligence accompanied with discernment will help you come up with reliable information.

4. Writing often makes you explore different writing styles.

If you are a budding writer, this will be a common scenario for you. You’re still in the period of testing the waters so to speak. But always remember that another writer’s writing style might not be the same as your own. The best way to find out which style fits you is through your interests and your personality. I’ll delve deeper into this in my future articles.

Ever since I was a kid, I have always loved persuasive writing. It just comes naturally for me and I am more at home with this kind of write-up. But you can always try other writing styles and incorporate them into what you already knew. This is how you learn. And learning is always essential to your growth as a writer.

5. Writing often exercises your critical thinking skills.

Writing requires deep analytics. It is not just about putting words into “paper” but more about how beautifully can you craft a story that after reading your text, a reader ends up refreshed and informed.

In writing, there is a sequence that you need to follow from choosing your topic, writing it, composing the entire piece, to ending the story (with a bang if you can). What separates a good write up from not-so-good ones is delivery. After writing your article, ask yourself with this question: does your article have a solid thought from beginning to end?

6. Writing often means better connectivity with fellow writers.

With all the writing platforms available freely nowadays such as WordPress, connecting with a community of writers isn’t impossible. In fact, it is the best platform to connect with other writers. The good part about this is that you get to learn from what others are posting online, too. You can collaborate with them also, share ideas, or relate with one another.

The past generations predicted that writers will no longer have jobs come year 2000s. Technology made this prediction false, unfortunately. With the rise of everything becoming digital come endless possibilities for the writing industry, too.

7. Writing often helps you advance in your craft.

This last part is more like “practice makes perfect.” The more you enhance what you’re good at and passionate about, you’ll see that the results are getting better, too. Your writing will never be perfect the first time around. It will have a lot of flaws. You’ll need to edit and re-edit your work a hundred times until it’s polished free of errors.

If you want to improve your work, it is a rule of thumb to always compare your previous write-ups with the current ones you wrote. Then from your review, analyze which area you need to improve on. Is it grammar? Is it creativity? Is it delivery?

I can come up with a long list of writing tips but I’ll just share the salient points for now. I hope you picked a nugget or nuggets of wisdom from this piece. But if you have more ideas to share or you need to ask for clarifications, you’re most welcome to do so. Just always remember that if you feel it in your heart that writing is what you’re passionate about, follow your heart. Then, use your mind to come up with masterpieces. 😉

With all these writing tips I’ve shared, are you now ready to advance your way up as a writer? If you’re still hesitant to use your gift in writing, then this bible verse might help boost your confidence:

“Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” – Proverbs 16:3

Believing in you as a fellow writer,

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***Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash

Unflinching: Of Flaring Nostrils And Conflict Resolution Tips

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This conflict resolution article is based on the experiences that my husband and I went through as a married couple. I haven’t been sharing much from our experiences as a married couple lately but this one particularly got a “tugging.” If you and your spouse are struggling in this area, do continue reading. You might find something helpful which you can apply in your own marriage as well. 🙂

If you’re reading this and you’re married, I am sure you’ll agree with the majority of the points I’ll share here. If you’re still single, you can take this as a preparation for your next season. Most are true for this though – all couples go through disagreements. It all just differs on the number of instances a certain couple fights over disagreements.

Let me share with you a bit about our marriage just in case this is your first time to read my articles. Our 1st year ( 3 years ago) as a married couple was the “craziest.” How? Let’s just say I was the fiercest cat and he was the meanest dog – we were the worst of enemies. We’ve torn each other apart so much that I was so sure in those moments the marriage will come to a ruin 100%.

Well, it almost did back in 2016. But to make the story short, we came out alive with the help of our biological families and prayers from our spiritual family.

What I learned from that gut-wrenching experience is that if you are given the entitlement to claim something (i.e. holy matrimony), you have every power to fight for it whatever the odds and whatever the cost. If you believe in your heart that God will fight on your behalf, let your faith be unflinching.

Yes, unflinching in your faith and never in anger. Since this 2016 incident, so much have changed. But only because I held my ground as a wife – I claimed what is rightfully mine in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. That is my husband and my marriage.

How did I exactly do that? I looked straight at the enemy (dark spirits of this world who will tempt you, use your weaknesses, and make you sin) with my game face on and dared him this – you have messed with the wrong wife this time. Send me all your powerful warriors and launch to me all attacks you can think of from temptations to sickness and death, my God will face you in each of those and you will be defeated.

“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

Am I really brave? No, honestly I am very insecure but if God prepares you for a battle, He will equip you with full armor having this as your best shield – LOVE. God is love, anyway. You’ve got the best defense you need not be afraid even if you think you’re too frail to defeat anyone.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” – Ephesians 6:11

Honestly, we really are too frail to fight it out on our own that is why we needed God in the first place. If you fight the battle on your own, chances are, you will lose.

I was unflinching during that ordeal. I guess it’s the good part of being unflinching that was retained here. Before I became a born-again Christian, I can be the worst enemy you have met. I am not proud of this though, I suffered the consequences of it. So much that it was so difficult for me to piece the broken pieces together. But God made it all whole. Not in a snap but a painful and yet transformative process for the better.

Before, every time I am in a disagreement with someone, I never give up my ground. I make sure that by the end of the heated and verbal outbursts, I get the upper hand and I get to have the last say. In other words, I use the most destructive weapon of all to achieve that – the tongue. There are lots of moments that because of my words, I “killed” these people. Some broke down in front of me, some cursed me with their whole life, and for most, I ruined their lives. For me at that time, it was a victory – the wrong way.

I was a born-again Christian already when I got married. I thought that I was over with all the unflinching anger and lashing outs. But little did I know that it is through my marriage that God will polish me out. God cut the sharp edges when I got saved, but the refining happened when I became a wife.

This is most likely because it is in a marriage that you get to play out the greatest of all – love. How can you love others better when you can’t even love your better half (spouse) the way God asks of you?

I think you now have an idea how disagreements between me and hubby went on during the first year of our marriage – destructive. When nostrils flare, that will basically describe us – no one wants to step down. We both used the foulest language we can think of until it escalated to flying plates and anything the hand could reach. It even went so bad that I can’t share it anymore here due to its sensitivity.

This was the time our families intervened to protect us both. I also sought help because God instructed we badly needed our families’ help already – we needed a mediator.

I never thought hubby and I will get out of that ordeal. But true enough in Ecclesiastes 13, there is a time for everything. It was only a season. We learned so much from it. I learned so much from it. It was a time for war and yet came also the time for peace. It was a time when we were deeply wounded and yet we were also healed.

If you are married, you’re going through tough times and the worst in your marriage, do continue reading. I know it will give you hope and strength. 🙂

The seasons changed, the tides have turned. This is only because we both made the choice to make things right with God’s help and with the help of the people around us.

My husband and I changed tremendously since then – there really is hope. We have learned one very valuable lesson being a son and daughter of God:

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23

Of course, the enemy won’t give up without a fight that is why the bible warned us to “be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

Hubby and I are both a work in progress, we are still flawed. Though the enemy can use our weaknesses to wage war against one another, the Spirit will not allow it anymore.

8 Practical Tips to Apply During Conflict Resolution

Aside from the fruits of the Spirit, here are practical tips I’ll share to avoid those moments when nostrils flare:

1. Treat every disagreement as a landmine.

Veer away from saying a word that will make your discussion explode. Apply MAXIMUM RESTRAINT and EXTRA GRACE. In other words, guard your tongue. Know what is the right thing to say. If you will ask me how? Avoid saying things that you know will offend your spouse.

2. Keep the discussion to a maximum of 1 hour.

This is personally a lesson for me because I tend to speak lengthy explanations just like this lengthy article. 😉 Know when to stop and stop means the end of the conversation. Period. The 3rd step is related to this.

3. To make sure you will resolve the conflict in an hour, discuss only the issue at hand.

Never ever bring up past issues. Believe me, it will only make things worse making your discussion waaaaay longer.

4. For you to discuss things means it has to be a two-way convo.

My hubby used to have this habit of tinkering his phone or anything with his hand while not looking at me when we’re discussing. This irritates me to the point that the conversation gets derailed already because of this. Now I’ve learned to remind him to give his 100% attention to the discussion. But this time, more gently. It works. 🙂

5. Do not interrupt when your spouse is explaining.

Take turns in answering and asking questions. When your spouse talks, listen carefully.

6. Refrain from making sarcastic remarks and most especially, curses.

Always remember the power of your tongue and the extent of damage it can cause if you will use it the wrong way.

7. Focus on resolving the issue at hand.

Most of the time you can resolve it right away. But there are some instances wherein you need to leave it hanging for the moment. Still, it is not reason enough to end the conversation abruptly or open-ended which is what #8 is all about.

8. After discussing, don’t leave the conversation abruptly.

In fact, never leave a conversation if none of these things took place during the entire period of your discussion – apologies, forgiveness, and last but definitely not the least, a PRAYER.

So how would you know if both of you have changed your manner of resolving conflicts? The answer is this – a change of heart. You will see it in the way you RESPOND.

Personally, when I am very angry now, I find myself not being able to finish a rebuttal without bursting into tears. Ah yes, it’s now a softened heart. Tears make me more gentle. It stops my tongue from speaking more of those destructive words.

I used to speak from a hardened heart that made me unflinching. But now, it’s the opposite – I quiver. It is as if the Spirit is teaching me to take a good grip of the reins, take good control, so my tongue won’t slip. It’s my soul battling for what is right telling me, “Tin, stand down.” Then, I get to breathe. When I breathe, I pause. When I pause, I get to clear my mind – a sound mind. Then, I respond BETTER.

As for your spouse, pray for him/her. If you, yourself, are going through a tough time controlling yourself, keep in mind that your spouse is also going through the same struggles. Help each other. Tell your spouse that, too. Encourage your spouse to work with you and NOT against you and that you are also willing to do the same.

Apologize even if you think you have nothing to be sorry for. Why? Most likely there is something you need to apologize for – your anger and pride may have covered it up that is why you can’t recognize it.

So how did a recent conflict resolution of ours end, you might be wondering. It ended

  • exactly in an hour;
  • no curses with 1 sarcastic phrase that slipped through;
  • sincere apologies and sincere forgiveness from both ends;
  • a reassurance from each side that we are both a work in progress, still flawed but doing a great job, we appreciate one another, we are grateful for what we have, and we are both proud of each other’s efforts to change;
  • a tight and warm hug;
  • a prayer of gratitude to God, our mediator;
  • and lastly, sealed with a goodnight kiss plus a snore after. 😀

Yup, that’s hubby’s snoring which used to annoy me big time but after 3 years of being married, it’s now music to my ears. Oh, c’mon, Tin. Yup, I know you won’t believe me. lol

It gets on my nerves sometimes but when I call out his name softly, he stops. It always works. This was an experiment I did and I’d love to study how the subconscious can still interact with the events presently happening while the body is already in the state of deep slumber.

Ah yes, in love, you get to slowly love the differences until everything becomes neutral. 🙂

“Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 4:8

“We love because He (God) first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!”

– 1 Corinthians 13:1‭-‬8 NLT

If you are going through tough times in your marriage and in dire need of prayers on conflict resolution, please don’t hesitate to reach out, I’ll pray for you. ❤

Always in love with love,

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9 Things You Need To Know If You Want To Be A Writer

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Ever since I was a kid, I always try to search for ways how to be a writer. Yes, my favorite subject in class is English and my favorite part of that subject is the after-vacation essay. I always feel giddy when I share through writing how my vacation went. I also loved to join writing contests not to win the prize but to let my stories out. If you’re like me who wanted to pursue writing as a career, here are 9 tips you can consider and follow that dream of yours as a writer.

How to be a Writer: 9 Tips to Think About

1. If you want to be a writer, commute via public transportation every day.

The stories are out on the streets from the woman you helped get inside the crowded train to the guard who greeted you exuberantly with, “Good morning, Ms. Beautiful!” 😀

A whole lot more can happen in a day and every single moment can spark a thought or an idea that may be or may not be related to it. The comforts of your car can’t give you those experiences. Aside from that, you’re too focused on the road while driving you won’t have time to notice everything around you.

2. If you want to be a writer, mingle with people from all walks of life and not only the social circle you grew up with or you happen to spend most of your time with.

Talk to that vendor at the market where you always buy your fresh eggs or the barista at your favorite coffee shop. Your conversation need not take an hour, a few chit chats are enough.

You’ll realize how rich and colorful their stories are. Each story is special. If you can imagine them in your head, they’re like vivid images with so many details and colors of different tones, hues, and gradations.

3. If you want to be a writer, you don’t have to take expensive writing courses so you’ll come up with the most interesting pieces.

The old adage in our Literature classes back in college is a pearl of golden wisdom to uphold, “you write not to impress, but to express.” If you’re also born to be a writer, a “writer’s block” is never a problem and it can’t stop you from coming up with an exquisite write up. Why? Everything around you has a story to tell.

4. If you want to be a writer, always write from your heart.

Always remember that you never have to copy any other writer’s style. Find your niche and when you do find it, embrace it. Only then can you make masterpieces that are genuine, sincere, and reflective of who you are. Every writer is special in the same way that your individuality makes you unique from everyone else.

You can also be versatile by exploring different genres. But at the end of the day, always go back to your niche. I encourage you to write in the language that you’re most comfortable with. If you’re comfortable writing in the vernacular, do so. If it is the lingua franca, use it.

5. If you want to be a writer, always have a thirst for learning.

It is your knowledge bank that makes a writer a writer. Without knowledge, you’ll have nothing to write about. Knowledge need not be highfalutin. It can be as mundane as a cat lying languidly in your balcony basking its furry coat under the sun’s prickly heat. Then “boom,” you now have an article entitled, “When Cats Bathe Under The Sun.” 😉 You gain knowledge from anyone, anywhere, and anything. Knowledge is never limited to books alone.

6. If you want to be a writer, you need to be a wide reader.

My Mom never failed to encourage me to be one when I was a kid. Thus, we were surrounded by books while growing up. She is right. Reading is one avenue for you to gain knowledge. Reading also improves your vocabulary. Having a substantial vocabulary also makes it easier for you to process and express your thoughts and ideas. How? Words just flow freely. You always have the right words for every thought.

7. If you want to be a writer, you need to be observant.

Writers are keen on details. Details can make up or break up your story. If you presented them wrongly, you’ll come up with one sloppy article – not worth reading. Nope, I’m not referring to details in a technical way, but details you see around you. What you see is what your brain will process. What your brain will process is what will come out in your writing.

8. If you want to be a writer, keep on writing.

Never lose your focus. If there is any tinge of truth in the saying, “practice makes perfect,” I tell you, there is. Not just a tinge but a myriad of it.

But never plagiarize just for the sake of having something to write about. A copied thought is still plagiarism. But you can somehow make it your own by infusing it with your interests, past experiences you can associate it with, and your own interpretation of the thought.

9. Lastly, if you’re called to be a writer, trust your God-given ability.

He has a purpose why He showered you with that gift. As a writer, you leave an imprint, a legacy that will not just impact your generation but the next generations who will be reading your articles for as long as dear WordPress is alive and kicking. 😀

Writers don’t just leave a legacy, they’re also the greatest editors of themselves. They subject themselves to consistent improvements and rechecks their articles every day until it is polished free of errors. But no, you can’t always make your writing perfect the first time around.

At the end of the day, keep in mind that if you want to be a writer, always think you are writing for an audience of One and always bring God all the glory. Trust Him, He will never fail you. 🙂

From a Christian writer with all the love she can give,

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P.S. (A very long one.) 😀

I very much would love to publish a book, be a published author, and I know I won’t have a hard time achieving that by God’s grace and if it is His will. But my convictions told me that it will defeat my purpose why I am writing if I will publish the book for the sake of making a profit or earning money. If I will make a book out of my faith-based testimonials or anything about God, I will give the book to all my readers for free – the same way that the Bible is free. In the first place, it’s the Bible where I got all the wisdom from the experiences I went through and the reason why I’m writing.

God’s Word is never meant to be exclusive only to those who can purchase your book – it’s meant to be free for all. Always remember to never let money be your sole motivation in using your God-given ability to write. It has to be God and only Him that should be your motivation why you’re writing. Also, God will provide you other ways to finance your writing but never use your writing about God to earn money. If we plan to put God on the pedestal, place Him there without anything latched on to Him – self-glory, money, pride, popularity, etc.

“You shall have no other gods before me.” – Exodus 20:3

If you also want to be a Christian writer, don’t deprive your readers the chance to know God more due to financial constraints. Give them wisdom for free as a way of serving them, as a way of loving others so much you want to give them a source of hope through your writing, as a way of sharing the Word, and as your gift back to God who let you experience salvation for FREE.

“God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” – Ephesians 2:8

This is why I have never monetized this faith-based blog even if there were offers to monetize it. All of my ideas and testimonies are free for all to read and share and it will remain that way for as long as I can write. I refuse to even make this a private domain and pay a monthly fee even if I can because I don’t want money to have anything to do with my faith except for tithes.

I may write a book but I’ll give it for free. It is not the price of your book that matters but what’s in it – the story you want to tell. Your story is meant to be shared with everyone. Just like the Bible, there is no limit to where its wisdom can go. It’s the same with your book. Write a story, share it, then leave a legacy worth following through your articles and your readers when they also pass the wisdom to others. 🙂

Are you an aspiring writer? Are you still in a daze how to become a writer? Or have you been writing for years already? Let me know in the comment box below how you’re pursuing your love for writing. I’d pretty much love to hear your story too. ❤