The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
The last day of this year’s Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting ended with such high energy – it’s dedicated to campus ministry. So expected na that the youth will still be full of energy kahit nagfa-fasting. Ang mga tanders gusto nang umuwi. 😅
Ah yes, watching the youth jump and sing their hearts out and with so much fervor during praise and worship brings back memories of mine na sobrang naka-relate ako. Kahit tahimik at mahiyain ako noon (kahit ngayon), kapag ang mga kasama mo mag-worship ay ganyan ka-energetic, mahahawa ka din talaga.
But they were among the best memories of my spiritual journey as a born-again Christian. Naalala ko dati, after ng church service, parang andami mo pang energy at kulang na lang hindi ka na uuwi at sa church ka na lang lagi.
I started my baby steps as a born-again Christian sa Victory Katipunan at ang dating Victory GT Toyota in UP Diliman. Karamihan sa churchgoers doon ay mga estudyante. I was a young professional back then pero ito lang ang mga malapit na Victory churches sa apartment namin dati kaya dito ako nagsimba. I had my 1-on-1 discipleship journey and Victory Weekend in Victory Katipunan in 2013.
Kaya kapag pakiramdam mo nanlalamig ka na sa faith, just attend a Youth Service (every Friday night ito usually). Because to be honest, we can learn a lot from the youth. They bring in new perspectives, which allow us to better understand their culture now and could be the solution to bridging the generational gap as far as discipleship is concerned.
And they have LOTS of energy. Kailangan i-channel ito para sa iba’t ibang talents like singing and dancing pero within the church community. Ganito rin kami sa Protestant church namin sa hometown ko where I attended church services when I was a kid. Merong intermission number ang youth sa kalagitnaan ng church service.
If I’m going to be a parent, I’d rather see my child being rambunctious and on fire serving the Lord through praise and worship than attending some concerts where drunkenness, illegal drugs, sex, etc. are prevalent at ang mga lyrics ng kanta either sobrang depressing or maraming mura. Kaya ang Spotify ko ngayon sinasala ko what are the songs that I should and should not include in my playlists. May iba na medyo sablay ng konti sa lyrics, but because I love the melody, pinapakinggan ko sya. But I don’t let the words get into my head.
Speaking of being on fire, I’ve been pondering on these two questions recently. Like what if someone asks me these questions, ano ba ang isasagot ko? 🙂
“Have you always been this on fire for the Lord?“
“Are you always this passionate with this Jesus thing?“
My answer sa mga tanong na ito is that, yes, I have always been on fire for the Lord. May mga times na hindi ako madalas makasimba, but my faith never became lukewarm. Lagi kasing may tugging ng Spirit to remain true sa calling at isa na dyan itong blog ko. Na kailangan ipagpatuloy ang pag-share ng Word and spiritual journey ko dito to fulfill the commitment I made when I surrendered my life to Him. Ganyan si God pagdating sa accountability, hindi mo Sya pwedeng talikuran ng ganun-ganun lang. 😃
Gaya noong isang araw, 2nd day ng prayer and fasting, I woke up with another eczema breakout – just one, right in the middle of my left hand. This one rash reappears on the same spot every time something triggers it i.e. perfumes, stress, food allergens, cold and dry environments, etc.
Noong una itong lumabas last year kung tama pagkaalala ko, na-bother ako kung ano na naman naka-trigger sa kanya. Hanggang sa nasanay na ako tignan sya every time it reappears. I’ve had eczema flare-ups since I was in college, btw. At napatawa na lang ako when I saw it again kahapon.
Because you know what it reminded me of? Para syang ‘yung scar ni Jesus sa kamay noong pinako Sya sa Cross. I mean, sa dinami-daming locations sa katawan na pwede syang lumabas, dito lang talaga sa left hand at saktong sentrong-sentro pa at nag-iisa lang sya.
At ngayon lang sa akin nag-sink in na hindi kaya God is trying to remind me something? And He had to use a visual reminder, something tangible na hindi ko basta-basta madi-dismiss. Because I am in this season yet again na God is telling me to do something that will require me to step out in even bigger faith. At ang sagot ko sa Kanya was this:
“Lord, I am unworthy. I am not equipped. I am not qualified. I don’t want to do it.”
I know God is reminding me of my worthagain – in Him. Para bang itong pantal ay reminder ng Dios na, “Tin, my Son sacrificed His life for you and died on the Cross to save you from being perished. Because that is how much I love you and that is how special you are to me. I want you to continue walking the path that I have set out for you to walk on and complete the task that I want you to do. His blood was shed on your behalf so you can be a new creation – because you are worthy. And I want other people to know and experience this, too.”
I guess the calling will always remain, and it will never change regardless of the circumstances we are in. Although hindi ko talaga pwedeng takasan ang calling because Christ is in my name. Unless I read my name backwards. 😅 Kidding aside, hindi ako pwedeng tumalikod sa calling because Christ already lives in me. 🙏
As my life verse goes, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13. And I will also add that I can do all these things because aside from Christ, I also have people who can help me do the work for the Lord no matter how daunting – they are the body of Christ. ♥️
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.” – Romans 8:18
P.S. Every church has its own flaws and weaknesses because the enemy will continue to attack it. But for as long as Jesus remains to be the center of the church, be in that spiritual family. And even if you’ve gone astray, come back. 🙏
So, Chick-Chick’s love story has an unexpected twist – she already found a new love. Yay! And I really thought she’s going to be single for a looooong time. lol For the backstory of her love life, you may read it here.
The Black Knight
Who’s the new flame, then? I call him “Black Knight” because his legs are all black, and he’s a fierce-looking rooster. He’s also way younger than Chick, but very assertive and has an air of authority.
He’s also very protective, but at the same time gives Chick the freedom to roam around all by herself. He may not be the typical dashing prince, but he sure has the aura of a knight in shining armor. Just perfect for Chick who’s a damsel in distress. 😉
Boosting Egg Production
This means only one thing for us – egg production will continue. So far, Chick laid 10 eggs already (all thanks to Black Knight). We left 1 egg in her nest so she will lay eggs in 1 location only thinking her nest wasn’t disrupted. Though 1 egg was eaten by a rat in her previous nest.
Will cook some of these tomorrow to assess egg quality i.e. color of yolk, hardness of shell, etc. 👍👍
I am currently playing the role of an animal behaviorist to learn more about chickens. lol My findings are quite interesting actually. For one, hens have this maternal instinct to protect their eggs, so finding a good spot to lay their eggs on is crucial.
Finding The Right Location
She tried 3 locations and the 3rd one was the most difficult to find. Maybe she realized that after 2 failed attempts at protecting her nest, she had to find a spot that was completely hidden.
So, how did we find the 3rd nest? My sister followed her around, and she saw Chick go under a sakolin, which we use to cover the water pumps. Voila, in between the water pumps, we found the eggs.
Why Poultry Farming
I did ask God why He placed a desire on my husband’s heart to pursue poultry farming in 2021. This is actually the reason why we came here to my hometown last year to explore opportunities in poultry production.
When my husband told me his plan, I suggested to him that we ask my parents if it’s okay to utilize a portion of our farm for poultry production. When we got here and did a site inspection, my husband and I decided that it will need a lot of work in order to get it started.
This was actually one of his reasons for deciding to work abroad. He wants to be in charge of financing the poultry project, and he wants me to oversee and manage it. I believe this is what God has planned all along. I’ve already been doing my research on poultry farming, which started last year since my husband doesn’t have the time to do it.
I was able to find a lot of online resources already on poultry farming including choosing the chicken breed, making the poultry house, preparing the chicken feed, increasing egg production, and marketing live chickens, dressed chickens, and eggs.
All I did last year was conduct research, and this year, we started preparing a portion of the project site. Then the surprise came later this year – a rogue hen grazed our garden. It’s as if God was telling me that it is about time I apply what I learned. No escaping God’s will, eh? 😉
And indeed, here I am taking care of this rogue hen, and God also provided a rooster. Although I might buy the rooster from my nephew because he’s the original owner. 😊
I never planned any of this to happen, but God made them happen. I just did what the Spirit asked me to do and kind of just went along with how things played out.
All I am praying for now is for my nephew to keep the Black Knight so he would stay with Chick forever. lol Indeed, God (love) moves in mysterious ways. Oftentimes, it will just come when you least expect it. ❤️
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18
Found this bookmark inside a Bible that belonged to my late grandma – such a beautiful reminder. 🙂❤️🙏
I had to break my silence. Because it breaks my heart into pieces. Now I know how Paul must’ve felt when he addressed the problems of the early church in Corinth. (Reference: 1 and 2 Corinthians)
It pains me to see fellow believers breaking away from their faith. A couple of days ago, my Facebook newsfeed was flooded with hate posts including some Christian friends calling out names on other people, deleting friends on their list, and cursing downright at the current government and certain government officials.
Sadly, it is not COVID-19 that is making me sick. It is seeing these situations unfold right before my eyes that make me cry my heart out to the Lord. When the people involved are believers and Christians most especially, all the more painful.
I know they are victims, too, by evil forces that we don’t see. That is why I just vented my sentiments here on my blog so I won’t offend anyone because I value every relationship I have in my social network. I intend on keeping it that way forever. But I just want to ask this:
Have we lost everything that is Christlike in us? Where are the fruits of the Spirit? Whatever happened to God’s greatest commandment of loving one another just like how He loved us?
This is the Bible verse in the new shampoo bottle that hubby bought just last week. It came in very timely. And I know it is God calling us out to be who we really are. He knows the church will go through this.
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” – John 13:34
I was hoping more from Christians to behave otherwise because we have a greater calling to be the salt and light of the world. We already have an idea of who God is and how Christianity works – discipleship, fellowship, personal relationship with God, etc.
Personally, I felt like I have failed in reminding those in my social network how to respond as a Christian in a time like this. It crushes my soul that they have forgotten all the wisdom found in the Bible – the very promise of God.
It hurts me even more knowing that I can only pray for them, and that if they won’t seek God’s forgiveness and instructions, we already have a picture what will happen next. The punishment is greater for those who already know Christ, and yet chose to disobey.
How could we forget so easily? How could we succumb to the temptations of the enemy and this world so easily?
I posted Bible verses on Facebook as a reminder to go back to God before it’s too late – to seek Him first before anything else. And yet, I, too, became a victim of this persecution and was called too complacent. That I don’t care at all for those who are most affected with this crisis (the weak and the poor) because they think I am rich, which I am not.
What’s worse is that I was blamed for being a Christian and that I was using Bible verses to make people hate God even more. I believe this is the part where we can see divisions in the church – when some of us choose to believe selected Bible verses only for a particular situation without taking the entirety of Scripture into consideration. And this is exactly what the enemy wants, to create dissensions among believers.
How come we were judged easily not knowing what my husband and I went through for the past years? My husband and I had to endure months to years of living from paycheck to paycheck.
We literally used coins to buy our daily meals making sure we won’t go out of the budget by spending 100 pesos a day only for 3 meals. We also lived in a tiny room that measures 12 feet x 6 feet and the kitchen, comfort room, dining area, and bedroom were all in there. We started out with no beds or mattresses except for sleeping bags, no dining table and chairs, and no refrigerator.
Our families may be well-off, but I told my husband that we need to learn to rely on God first when it comes to our needs and refrain from asking other people for help. So yes, when it comes to worldly poverty, we know how it felt. I know how it felt to be really in need owning nothing else but the clothes on my body because we experienced it firsthand.
And yet true enough, God helped us get through that ordeal. He blessed us in so many unexpected ways with more than what we have prayed for. Were there times that my husband and I cried (literally and figuratively) out to God? Yes, A LOT of times.
My husband once cried in the comfort room of his workplace while sharing to me about God’s favor over the phone. I cried, too, when my husband was asleep and while praying to God. And there were more of these times that we sure felt we’re undeserving and yet God provided still.
But instead of cursing God for putting us in that predicament, we praised Him even more and became closer to Him every single day. I believe this is the problem now. And this is the greatest test of faith that Christians need to endure.
To never lose sight of who God is when tough times become even tougher, when problems seem never-ending, when solutions just seem impossible, and when the future just seems 100% uncertain.
I once shared to my husband that even if it is a matter of life and death, we must not turn our backs on God and our calling as a Christian. That was how men of great faith in the Bible earned God’s favor. By staying true to their commitment even if it means giving up their lives for Him i. e. Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego; Daniel and the Lions; David and Goliath, etc.
When we are stretched to our limits and when we feel like being “burned” alive and we become impatient waiting for God’s answers, do we resort to solving things out on our own and depend once again on self-sufficiency instead on God?
I am praying this isn’t our mindset because it has already been written in the Bible that more of these problems will come – Luke 24 (Jesus Speaks About The Future). And I believe they will be more difficult, more heart-wrenching, and even more life-threatening.
We must not give in to this world. Not now, most especially for the Christians. The world needs us. This is the mission that God has set for each one of us to accomplish so we can be blameless when Jesus finally comes.
I encourage believers to share the Bible verses as is on social media instead of voicing out our sentiments. They are the exact words of God, thus, they have the authority to rebuke, remind, and encourage. What the world needs now is what God has to say and not really what each one of us has to say personally. “Less talk, fewer mistakes,” as they say.
If what we say is not in light of the Scripture, then, there is a higher chance of us saying the wrong things or being misinterpreted. If people still chose to persecute us for sharing Bible verses during a crisis, then they are going against the Word of God and not us per se. It is God, then, who has the authority to judge them and not us when the right time comes.
Help comes from God and God alone, and the government or other people are only instruments of those blessings. Help always comes. And yet this will all happen according to God’s will and according to God’s timeline.
The only problem is we don’t have enough faith to trust God completely that He will provide us with everything that we need may it be eternal salvation or material needs. Thus, we become desperate for answers and solutions.
How much of God do we really believe in when we call Him out as God, our Father? How much of what Jesus has done on the Cross will be enough for us to believe that He indeed came here to save this world and all the people in it?
I am currently on Facebook hibernation as part of my Holy Week fasting. My heart bleeds seeing this situation happen during Holy Week. My heart breaks that the Lord’s Name is being used in vain, exactly during the time when we’re supposed to be glorifying Him.
I am praying that during the Holy Week, God’s people will take it into their hearts what really happened on the Cross how many centuries ago. I pray that we will all have a moment of reflection and refresh the time when we were saved. I pray that after this week and in the coming months and years, believers will rise up to their calling as followers of Christ and bring victory to God’s name no matter the circumstance.
Being a Christian is hard, but that is part of our identity as Christ’s followers. And this is just one of the extreme tests of faith for all believers. I pray we all open our eyes and defeat the attempt of the enemy to deceive, which has already blinded some of our fellow sisters and brothers in Christ.
We are more than conquerors in Christ. His blood is in each one of us. Let’s listen to the Spirit. Let’s devote our time to the reading of Scripture more than ever. And lastly, let’s continue praying that the body of Christ will all be united in defeating all the attacks of the enemy.
Close encounters are not just limited to unidentified flying objects but unseen objects, too. Have you heard about miracles? How about divine intervention? Does the word “premonition” sound familiar? If we are to look closely at all three questions, they all have one common denominator –a powerful force behind them. For all we know, the unseen object may not be a matter of “what” but “who.” Read along and find out through some of the close encounters I’ve had as a Christian.
9 Close Encounters with God in Our Daily Lives
1. The Slip
Have you ever been in an accident or close to getting into one? I may not be in a serious accident but I experienced slipping my foot while walking on a very steep trail. The trail traverses along the cliff of a mountain and I estimated the deep fall to be about a hundred feet.
How did I escape that fall? It was our local tour guide who instantly grabbed my hand exactly at the moment when I slipped. I was barely holding on to a patch of tall grass to keep me from falling.
What are the chances of her not being able to catch me on time? Most likely it’s 100%. She’s in front of me and she could’ve failed to notice I made the wrong jump and slipped. Every time I remember that moment, I always wonder how that saving moment could be so timely. And yet, all I can think of was a divine intervention.
2. On Top
Being in an elevated spot always reveals the skyline. The skyline is always the best demarcation between the heaven and the earth. It also reveals everything about what is God-made and what is man-made. If you want to have a close encounter with God, try communing with nature.
You’ll get to see God’s wonderful creations in their purest forms. May it be a seascape, a landscape, the mountains, a river, lake, the forest, or even just in your own garden, you can have a close encounter with God.
Have you ever wondered why rainforests are bursting with all forms of life from plant life to animal life? And yet, no one takes care of them. How about in your garden? Did it make you wonder why a seed ever grows to become a plant? Do take a look at some of the stunning photos I took of my nature escapades below. Yes, they are all for real.
3. In Sickness
Serious illnesses most often take lives. If not, they cripple. How many of us have prayed for ourselves, for our loved ones, and for people we know who are battling with an illness? There are countless instances wherein these prayers were answered in the form of recovery.
But there are also those moments wherein these prayers were unanswered and grief took over because of loss. It’s hard to cope with the idea of losing someone you’ve known all your life and yet miraculously, God heals us too despite all the memories.
4. Through Poverty
I can never forget that moment when I only have about 50 bucks in my wallet and I allowed God to take control of the rest. Have you been in this predicament, too? It can be very challenging most especially since money runs this world.
But, it’s good to know that there is someone else greater who runs not just this world but all of the heavens and the earth. It’s all a matter of trusting Him who can provide you with eternal life, what more, your basic needs. I survived that week because God provided for all my needs.
How?
He can provide you through a lot of channels such as a decent amount of cash you stashed away somewhere and stumbled upon it out of the blue. Yes, at just the right time. Or, there’s this random person at work or through your family who gave you money because they just felt it.
Again, at just the right time. Another is a free meal courtesy of reward points you never knew you had until you checked through your phone and you’re entitled to it. Surprises? Yes, they truly are.
5. A Prophecy
This is a gift. Science can explain it as ESP (extra-sensory perception), the world can define it as premonition, and faith describes it as a prophecy. Though we do not have a mind like God’s, He definitely shared some of His wisdom to us. Is it a wild guess?
Certainly not. In our family, we don’t need text messages to inform one another about doing an errand or letting one another know what one thinks. In most cases, the receiver already got it even before the sender informed that person. How did this happen?
6. With An Advocacy
Having the heart to serve without expecting anything in return exemplifies a Christ-like heart. It is almost as similar to having goosebumps as what people say when you encounter a beggar on the street and you felt as if there’s something about him/her. “What if God was one of us?” as Joan Osborne sings in her song.
“Those who give to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses.” – Proverbs 28:27
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” – James 1:27
7. My Loved One
A personal relationship with God is more like your relationship with a loved one. You know all his crazy antics, you’ve seen the good and the bad traits, you’ve shared the best and the worst times, and your relationship is intimate. When situations arise between you and your beloved, you either see your loved one exemplifying how God would’ve acted or it could be you acting just like God. May it be that you or your loved one behaved through Spirit-filled actions?
8. As I Labor
Ever had that moment when you’re sure you will be fired from your career and yet what happened was the opposite? Or that moment when you’re seeing no progress at work but along came new opportunities just when you’re about to give up.
These moments surpass our human understanding because it is only God who sees the toil of man, who rewards the man for his labor, and who sees the hearts, minds, and intentions of every human being.
9. Altar Call
This is definitely not the least but the best way of having close encounters with God. Have you had that moment wherein you’re feeling too sure of yourself that this is what you’ve been wanting to do for the rest of your life? That is definitely God’s calling. When God set it in your heart what His mission is for you, you know there is nothing that can hinder you from doing it. This is how passion came alive.
After listing all these items down, these moments are unexplainable and yet something is at work behind them all – the Spirit. If your soul is in tune with the Spirit, the more aware you will be when these close encounters take place. The personal relationship you have with God is what binds you to the Spirit.
There is no such thing as “coincidence” in the Christian faith nor a word such as “luck.” There are, instead, forces of both good and evil that are at work in every single moment of our lives here on Earth. Thus, it takes a discerning heart, mind, and soul to hear the voice of God and it is only possible when we allow the Spirit to work within ourselves.
Have you had close encounters with God in your life? How can you be in tune with the Spirit always? Do let us know what you think in the comments box below and let’s grow spiritually together. ❤
And so I’m back. ☺ Hi there beloved reader of this post!
As promised, my next article will be about my “remote working feels.” God gave me the grace to have just a few hours to squeeze this in.
To those who will be reading this for the first time, this is a “sequel article” to my previous articles about remote working, freelancing, telecommuting, and the likes. It was a total career shift for me from the field of education to my first love which is writing. If you will ask me why the shift from being a teacher to a writer, let’s just say classroom management is my waterloo. But I do love teaching. Yet, I love writing more. It was actually one of my prayers to God to give me a career opportunity where I can pursue both my passion for teaching and writing.
The answer?GOD MADE IT POSSIBLE. (Yay!)
How did it happen? I’ll explain later. 😀
This will be my first-hand experience on remote working and if you are already a remote worker like me, maybe you can relate. But if you’re still considering the option to work remotely, this might give you a heads up.
When I wake up, I do my devo first, do household chores, take a bath, then have my breakfast. I sometimes start working on my articles while eating breakfast. Or sometimes, I don’t eat breakfast and start working right away.
2. Weigh your tasks.
This will mean prioritizing what you are going to do for the day. If I need to do errands on that day, for example, I have to assess if that errand will consume more time. If yes, I would need to finish my pending articles first. But if the errand has a time deadline too i.e. banks, bills payments, etc., then I would prepare everything I needed for the article the night before so I wouldn’t have to cram in finishing it the next day.
3. Create a deadline for yourself.
This is, by far, the most difficult. Because if there’s one challenge that any remote worker faces every day, it would be this – procrastination. So yes, beat yourself to that deadline and practice discipline at all times. Even if that bed looks so comfy and the weather is all gloomy and pretty much a bed weather, never forsake work over comfort. 😉
4. Check your productivity.
This will make it possible for you to keep track of your work’s progress. Always make sure you’re getting towards your goals and not falling behind.
5. Always look for online crash courses which could help you advance your skills in your area of expertise.
Ah yes, this, I totally love. And I just discovered this with LinkedIn. Yup! They offer a “free” trial period of their online courses and I haven’t used mine yet. 😀 Let’s just say I am still waiting for that right online course.
6. Continue to challenge yourself to do not just the given tasks but be proactive in what else can you do to help in the betterment of your team’s performance.
Let’s admit it. Your team leader and the rest of your teammates are balancing priorities left and right too. So, it’s not just about getting things done but making sure you are also contributing to your team’s progress.
#1 and #2 are interchangeable depending upon your current needs. For example, in my case, I am currently juggling two jobs as a remote worker. Yes, the answer to my prayers. ☺
But before I get on with the how, the when, and the what, I just want to mention that before I finally got what I prayed for, it required me to seek first and foremost God’s wisdom over my plans. Honestly, I went through several job rejections too. I had a hard time balancing my priorities. I also had to give up my master’s degree. And a whole lot more of struggles left and right.
There were also things which I insisted I will do and I so wanted to have for as long as I put my 100% effort and will-power and yet, God closed those doors a thousand times too. So I finally got it that that door is not the one that God intended for me no matter how much effort and sacrifices I make just to have it. This verse reminded me of that:
“Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6
So I came to those moments of placidity – a moment of idleness. Those moments where I had my “serious” heart-to-heart talk with my Father.
“What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go?”
Answers did not come as fast as I’d expected. The enemy played a part in it too by deceiving and tempting me with other opportunities. Sometimes the temptation comes in the form of my own motives.
But it’s a good thing the Scripture is around and the Spirit is greater than he who is in this world. So, God won, of course. 😉
I waited patiently. Always keep in mind that when you seek God’s will in your life, it requires patience. Why patience? Because patience is required for you to have faith. And faith is believing in the things that you do not see. If you aren’t “seeing” any outcome and you don’t have patience, your prayers, sad to say, are useless. Because most likely, you’ll easily give up and move on to your next prayer request.
As they say, believe in the power of your prayers, seek for God’s wisdom and His will over your plans, and lastly, be patient. This, I guess, is the formula in making sure in everything you do, you are assured that you are honoring God with everything.
So let’s now proceed to the job opportunities and I will lay them down one by one according to how each one has played a role in my decision-making.
First, I have a high tolerance for traffic congestion, long lines in the jeepney and taxi stands or walking far just to get to work and to get home. For me, they all require will power. As they say, “if there’s a will, then, there’s a way.” Unfortunately, my body can’t keep up. 😦
The first time I tried going back to the corporate world, my first week at work welcomed me with a cough and flu which went on for about several weeks and I had to take antibiotics for a week because it became severe and it just won’t go away. Another thing, I am a possible candidate for breast cancer. Yup, you can read more about that here in this link: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2016/02/16/the-borrowed-life/.
Last Friday, my husband and I went to this mall in Makati’s business district to buy birthday gifts. When we were about to go home, heavy rains poured, and as expected, the traffic jam was a killer. It was also around rush hour so our usual 15-minute travel coming home was extended to an hour and a half. Pretty saddening, right? Oh, and so exhausting too. While inside the jeepney, I was staring at all the corporate employees and all their haggard, tired, and sullen faces and I was praying silently to God for more options to us working and commuting people.
Better options.
I cannot speak for all as we all have our own reasons why we work, why we chose that kind of work as well as our goals and dreams. We’re all different but for me, my decision to be a writer and work remotely certainly falls for only one reason: health.
I am not really the pro-promotion kind of employee as I am aware that promotions are most often equated to heavier responsibilities which require more of your time and more of your effort. It requires you make your career as your #1 priority. However, there are those who were really called to be in higher positions at work. But personally, I do not see myself as one of them. It is not even my main reason why I pursued a master’s degree.
My goal as to why I work is to earn money to provide for our needs and to use the extra money to help those in need also. Now, the latter is part of the reason why I can say that one of my jobs right now answers this. I am a content writer for the Emerging Business team of an e-commerce company. I have never thought about writing business articles or anything related to business.
But I am very eager to learn some business concepts even before I started this job. I have this feeling God is leading me towards this field from opportunities to interests. I cannot see clearly now what His plans are for me in this area, and yet I trust Him that I am right where He wanted me to be. 🙂
I have one guess why it has to be in the field of business. When we say “business,” oftentimes it has something to do with money. Yes, money is the root of all evil, as they say. And yet, it will only be regarded as such if you have the wrong reasons for having it. But if you are using the money to honor, glorify, and expand God’s kingdom, then money, in that sense, cannot be regarded as something evil.
I want to sponsor one or even more scholars in the Real Life Foundation in our church; I want to help send missionaries all over the world; I want to take part in every community outreach/medical mission event; I want to put up my own SpEd school which will cater the needs of Special Education students here in the Philippines; I want to put up a foundation for all the children with special needs who cannot afford to have the therapies; and a whole lot more of other advocacy.
I cannot do all those if I lack in finances. Volunteering, for me, can only do so much. I want to help in a way that I can see these people slowly reach their dreams and see them aim towards better opportunities in life.
The recent killings of juvenile delinquents here in the Philippines are very alarming. If only the spiritual family can reach out to them before another young life becomes a collateral damage again, the better opportunities for these kids to have another chance in life. Poverty is not reason enough why these kids should resort to crime, robbery, and drugs and vice versa. Poverty has an end. Education can be a tool for that – financial education, family planning education, livelihood education, and regular schooling. Faith makes it all happen.
If money is the problem, there are foundations willing to provide scholarships to students as long as students meet a certain criteria and fulfill a set of obligations. Just to mention a few, we have in church the Real Life Foundation. World Vision and Operation Blessing also provide that. These kids don’t actually need a one-time volunteering outreach event. What they need is serious mentoring making sure they’ve been given the right opportunities towards a better life through empowerment.
I am never a fan of spoon-feeding when it comes to succeeding in life in general. Just the way my parents have taught me, it is all about personal effort which consists of persistence, patience, and resilience. And yet faith has taught me too that it is only God who provides EVERYTHING we need and to trust in God alone.
So this, I am guessing, is one of the reasons why I am learning a lot from all my research in business, finances, and entrepreneurship. As much as I hate money when it becomes the root of all evil, I also know I needed it that much to help others. I did tell my husband a few months back that I wanted to take up a business management course. He told me that we are not financially capable for that. So he asked me why. I told him that one day I might have to take over our family business in Bicol along with my other siblings.
My guess again is that this job sort of hit two birds with one stone: I get to do what I love and I get to learn all about business and finances for free from all my research.
So I did mention that I love teaching. I love literature. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in this field and I have the passion to share knowledge or pass it on to anyone who is willing to learn. The next job opportunity came in the form of an English content specialist for an e-learning platform. This job is project-based and it gives me the opportunity to impart what I learned from the academe to the younger generations and help them achieve their goals as a student through additional learning supplements in the form of lesson plans. Teachers also get to benefit from these lesson plans (calling fellow teachers out there to check it out). 🙂
Now isn’t God amazing? All it took was persistence in prayers, more personal time with Him, more immersion in the Scripture, and complete trust in His leading alongside disappointments, failures, and sacrifices.
As this verse goes on to say:
“Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established.” – Proverbs 16:3
Those were the good opportunities. The not-so-good ones came, for example, in the form of a teaching opportunity abroad. I am not saying that working abroad is a bad opportunity. But let’s just say that it isn’t for everyone. I, for one, can’t see myself working abroad if my husband will be left here all alone. I will be going against my marriage oath and commitment to God to be with my spouse AT ALL TIMES. The compensation is far greater than what I’d be earning here but I am also thinking about the collateral damages and the consequences.
This now brings us to priorities. As a wife, the mandate from God when it comes to priorities is God first, second is the spouse, third is family, fourth is the career, and last is the ministry. One of my prayers to God during the whole decision-making process is to help me align my priorities right and balance everything making sure each priority is getting its intended attention, time, and effort. The article below is a favorite of mine as it shares how women can both be successful in their careers and their family lives.
That is now my current prayer – to be able to balance all my priorities well as a wife, as a content writer, as a content specialist, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a sister-in-Christ, including weighing of tasks and managing of time. I know God has brought me in this certain season for a purpose which includes serving Him and others and though I may have a few doubts and worries, He will lead the way for sure. 🙂
As God has promised:
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11
And as my life verse says:
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4: 13
P.S.
My special thanks to my family for all the support and to my sisters in Christ for all the prayers. ❤
Though I am on complete social media hibernation, I still felt the need to record these thoughts over my phone’s notepad. But if you saw my Twitter account active during these days with posts from YouTube, that’s because I was browsing and listening to worship songs for my prayer and quiet time.
It is Day 1 of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting and after submitting an exam for a job application and before bedtime, hubby and I watched the movie John Q.
I was bothered how injustice and inequality can really make things look distorted. Thus, I had these questions in mind which were included in my prayers:
*Why are health services not free?
*What happened to EFA (Education For All) all throughout these years?
*Is life really unfair?
*Why should most things be about or are connected to money when money is the root of all evil? – Answer: We need money to survive but we also need self-control and discipline to have the right attitude in handling money matters and not be overtaken by greed and all sins related to money.
I haven’t received the answers for my other questions yet so I’ll just get on with how day 1 went. I was opting for a once-a-day meal but unfortunately after having an upset stomach with loose bowels for the past days, I need to eat regularly. But this time, I have decided to limit my rice intake to 1 cup per meal only. And no, I eat at least 2 cups of rice in every meal. I just don’t get fat and I don’t know why. 😀 Eating 1 cup of rice every meal though will send me to a major weight loss program towards anorexia. lol
Day 2
“Father, I come before you with a grumbling stomach…” 😀
I was browsing for recipes to cook for my husband’s dinner and I can hear my stomach grumbling its complaints. Imagine how hard it is to resist eating more than your usual food intake, but you had to RESIST the TEMPTATION.
It is lunch time but I’m still praying and having my devotion thus I blurted with a grumbling stomach and yet I had to CONCENTRATE. I had to wear earphones while I was about to start praying because the noise around, though very minimal, still distracted me.
But while I was browsing for instrumental praise songs, a recommended video/news about my favorite Korean actress Song Hye Kyo and Descendants of the Sun co-star Song Joong Ki getting married just popped up! An on-screen couple that turned to a real-life couple is just an amazing love story. So just imagine me beating those two, TEMPTATION and CONCENTRATION – the temptation not to log in on IG and all my social media accounts to share the news as I am on social media hibernation being part of my fasting and concentrate on finishing my devo. But if guided by the Spirit, you’ll know what to do – a rebuke will always be there. 🙂
I started eating my meal and I actually made a discovery. When you take time to appreciate every single item in the food before you eat it, it will give you that moment to savor every bite instead of gobbling all the food up. Appreciating every morsel and every ingredient from how God sent the rains to water the crops to the farmers who nurtured the crops, then the ones who transported it will help you resist man’s innate instinct of just consuming what its body desires. Our initial reaction when we see food is to eat it and consume right away.
On a side note, I also got news that I was scheduled for a job interview (a major career shift) and so I end the 2nd day with this and these running thoughts:
“Let the TRUTH be told in whatever season I am in, in whomever I become, in whatever I have.”
“More of you God and less of me.”
Day 3
“If love is so enormous in our lives, there’d be no space for hatred.”
I woke up with this thought in my head and just to give you a trivia, these are the thoughts that usually spark up an article. All my articles came from a single thought. But sometimes my thoughts can be so scattered. 😀
In another news, this day I was scheduled for yet another job interview for the next day which is Friday (today as of writing). This was part of my faith goals for this year and one of the things which I have been consistently praying for.
A thought also came during the praise and worship for the last day of fasting which was about praying for the community and I would just like to share the following experiences and musings regarding this.
I have made a discovery while I was browsing through new places around the neighborhood where hubby and I just recently transferred. I was a bit shocked and just a little bit dismayed that the community has been tagged as the “sex tourism” capital of the city. But upon seeing new establishments (and good ones they are) being built around the area from pretty nice restaurants to condominiums, I know and I am happy to know that God is going to do something great with this community.
The same thing happened to a situation wherein I almost passed up an opportunity because I saw something that I know will offend God. And yet if God brought me in these places and opportunities, I need not be worried, afraid nor doubtful about what I see on the outside. I need to see behind the enemy’s lies that this is corrupted and evil because in the eyes of God every single human being is beautiful, every one is given a chance, every thing has a GOOD purpose no matter how opposite the outside appearance or the first impression may look or seem.
I asked myself though, will this (being in a community/organization known to be corrupted) taint my reputation as a Christian?
The answer came just instantly: I was already made right in the eyes of God when I was saved, God already knows the condition of my heart I need not please the world. I will please Him if I accomplish what He has tasked me to do in this particular season, place and opportunity.
Reputation is something that this society is so concerned about and yet no one has the right to judge anyone except our God. This should not be an excuse though to sin and conform but to remain firm in the faith and become the “salt and light.”
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
I can never judge the community I am in nor that opportunity which came along. In the same way that Jesus socialized with the drunkards and what society tagged as the “outcasts,” we must also do the same by helping and serving them while remaining true to the faith. Jesus never thought of them as different, He sees them as ‘sick’ people needing ‘treatment’ and yet He waited for the opportune time when God will change these people’s hearts. He was sent here not to condemn this world but to do only what He was tasked to do – share who God is and what eternal salvation is all about.
Jesus saw in these people what our naked eyes couldn’t see, a beauty that is skin deep – the soul. Whether someone is a drunkard or a prostitute, to God he/she is flesh and blood with a soul. He sees Himself in us because He created us. He sees the GOOD in every one of us no matter what ‘tags’ society has placed on us.
I am always fascinated by this quote ever since I stumbled upon it:
“It is easy to love a rose but it takes a great heart to include the thorns.”
God loves us COMPLETELY. It is this kind of LOVE that John says as NO GREATER LOVE than this. It was this kind of love that became a SACRIFICE and set all of us FREE from the sins of this world. And it is this very same LOVE that is working its way out through you and me each and every single day.
I can love a fellow Christian but I even have more love for those who are not because I saw my old self in them and I know that they, too, will experience this love that I have, they will be given a new LIFE and a new NAME.
If I speak of hope then they shall too. If I speak of life then they shall too. If I speak of love then they shall too. They will rise as I have risen in the same way Jesus have been raised from the dead. I have a GREAT HOPE that we will all rise with Him one day. Thus, we patiently wait. 🙂
P.S.
Great opportunities came along today too (7/7/17) career wise. And just to share, it was 8/8/08 when I got my first big blessing as a working professional. There really must be something with the numbers. 😉
Ah yes, the moments of His silence, my steady prayers and patience – the Lord is indeed FAITHFUL with His PROMISES in His RIGHT TIME. 🙂
What an awesome day today to break my Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting and the start of the last 2 quarters of this year. My last prayer is that may God continue to speak through our lives and may we continue to bring Him all the GLORY and HONOR that He deserves always. ❤
Oh and one very, very last thing in this postscript. (Promise!) 😀
A praying mantis visited our bedroom walls tonight. It’s a very rare sight for me living in the city half of my life. I only see them when I am in the province in Bicol where the air is clean and less polluted.
Well, it seems to me that it says of only one thing – if this praying mantis made it alive in the polluted, dirty and chaotic environment and still remained as pretty and as unblemished of a creation as it is, then I guess it speaks the same of us. If God can take care of this praying mantis, what more of us, His greatest creation. 🙂
“We give advice by the bucket but take it by the grain.” – Tom Stoppard
It is easy to learn the theories but it takes EVERYTHING to practice them right. I consider Paul as the greatest love guru giving the most practical and sensible yet challenging advice about love. An advice on love and marriage is best lifted through the bible which is God-breathed. What the Word contains withstood time and remained relevant until now.
You might be wondering why I put up this blog and I did mention in my previous posts that this blog will serve as my “megaphone” for my faith. When I first started it, I actually have no idea how to run this blog, how it’ll turn out and what I will be writing about. It took some time before I finally got the instruction – trust the Spirit’s leading in whatever season you are in.
“And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.” – 1 Corinthians 2:12
It is as synonymous as trusting God’s leading just like what happened to me and my husband one time. It did come to that point wherein we were financially tight that we were wondering where to get the money to provide for our needs without asking our families for help. My husband did think about borrowing money and as for me, I know I need not worry because God does not want me to worry for as long as I put my complete trust in Him. Neither do I want my husband to worry because of my worries too. I have faith that my God is bigger than anything and that He makes the impossible possible.
Days came wherein my husband and I were already dreading the worst days that we could possibly encounter from not having enough finances and I was tempted to count our cash on hand and worry how to fill it up but I thought again, I need not worry because God is with us. Lo and behold, on that same day where I got tempted to do my budgeting again but did not do it, my husband happily texted me from work that we are going to eat out.
I jokingly told him that will not be possible because of the financial constraints we were facing. On that day, I was reading bible verses and making these faith-based articles for posting while listening to worship songs. I was actually surprised to find myself feeling so “light” and happy not knowing yet what the good news is. Yes, hubby did not fill me in with all the details for his “happiness.” 😉
When he got home, he kissed me and took out his wallet and showed me something – paper bills more than enough to help us through the month. He got it from work along with the rest of his team mates from a boss whom I believe God used as an instrument of blessing to us at just exactly the right time.
At that time, these verses came to life for me on a deeper level simply because God has proven it to be true, out of His love for you and me. All He wanted to know is how far we are willing to put our faith, hope and trust in Him that He is God, that we have nothing to worry and to wait patiently in His timing. Always. 🙂
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” – Matthew 6:25
“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-8
“Tell those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment.” – 1 Timothy 6:17
“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” – James 1:12
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” – James 1:2-4
I actually consider every moment of waiting as some sort of fasting, a delayed gratification process. Contrary to what most people think about waiting as idle time, there is so much that goes on actually while waiting. It is a period wherein your soul wrestles with your sinful nature because you get and have enough time to contemplate internally and reflectively. There is a battle within between what this world asks of you and what God expects of you. It can be agonizing most of the time since it’ll reveal your deepest weaknesses and yet so much is being forged in the period of waiting because the battle happens within. Patience, discipline, trust, endurance, and most of all faith come into play. That is why I referred to it as fasting in a way because it is the Spirit who accompanies you in those moments of waiting.
True enough I got the bigger picture of it all now. In the same way that the apostles like Paul have done in “recording” their testimonies about God and Jesus through their own tests of faith which is now the bible, the blog is the modern version of our testimonies about how to live with God in our generation. I interpreted it to be its main purpose.
I thought to myself that even if I die, for as long as WordPress exists, my website will be up. I am actually overjoyed to see that Facebook came up with the Legacy Contact in the Account Settings (check photo below). This allows any Facebook account holder to pass on his/her “legacy” by choosing someone to oversee his/her account when he/she dies. So I guess this even suggests greater responsibility on us social media users. We don’t want to pass on the bad/negative stuff to the next generation, do we? 😉
For as long as these social media sites are running, our legacy will be up for the whole public to see or for our friends and mutual friends to see. The great question that we should ask ourselves is this – what kind of legacy/imprint are we leaving behind? Another follow up question would be this – what does your life say about you when people look at your social media accounts? And last but not the least – are you inspiring them to live life in wisdom towards the Truth?
I believe there is a Paul, a Peter, a Timothy, a Matthew, and all other disciples in each and every one of us. It is about time we do what God has called His disciples to do – out of His love for us, our love for Him and our love for others. Yes, it’always been about love. ☺
“Commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” – Deuteronomy 11:18-19
“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” – Proverbs 22:6
“And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love; whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” – 1 John 4:16
So I end this article with those questions which I did ask myself too and one of my favorite Christian songs of all time. ❤
So my Mom and I had a serious heart-to-heart talk about some things especially about my graduate study. It’s been taking far too long years are passing by fast and it seems I haven’t done anything productive at all nor made significant improvements not just in it but in my life in general.
So questions like what are your plans, what do you want to do now, where do you want to be when you get older, etc. came popping up.
Truth is, I wasn’t totally pleased with how my life has faired throughout these years. To most people it seems like I have wasted 6 years to nothing. But I think I am going to take back that word “displeased” because doing a self-assessment, I am happier in those 6 years wherein I am in a limbo and in shambles or I thought I was.
First and most importantly, I found God along the way – I was born again. Second, I found love in this world and my better half unexpectedly – I got married. Lastly, a lot of changes happened internally – major heart reconstruction. These 3 are now my priorities which I was called to serve first.
So my Mom went on, “As parents we only wanted what is best for all of you and your siblings, a better and more successful life.”
I do appreciate this kind of love from my parents. I know when I become a parent I wanted what is best for my kids too.
She continued, “If you wanted to have a simple life though, nothing is wrong with that.”
Now this I loved from her even more. So I smiled and agreed:
“Yes Mommy, that is all I ever wanted in this life. I actually wanted to go back home in our province and raise my family there if God wills it. We wouldn’t have these ideals and values in life if it wasn’t for the humble beginnings of you and Dad in which you have raised us all. City life has far too much temptations and is way complicated.
I want my kids to have the same values and ideals in life too and I think I won’t be able to do that if they will grow up seeing that Brian and I pursue what this world offers as the meaning of success like wealth, possessions, achievements and titles.”
A “higher” and more successful position/career requires more time at work and more work load. This is practically what graduate studies are for – promotion at work and/or career advancement. I may be earning much and I now have a title that society declares as prestigious but I have less time with my family because either I am too tired when I get home, I am bringing work at home or I have longer working hours in the office. My kids will only be young once and my husband is my top priority next to God.
Then memories of the day I had my altar call which was during the Singles’ Getaway in church back in year 2012 reminded me once again about what Pastor Dennis Sy discussed regarding priorities. He shared an experience between him and his wife who wanted to pursue her dream to become a medical doctor.
What he said made a mark in me as well (paraphrased already),
“Your degree/profession won’t be able to hug you in times that you are sad nor will it be beside you in times of trouble. But I can.”
She chose to let go. Priorities-wise, when we are called to be married and have families, they are to be on top. Indeed, these are the sacrifices that born-again spouses and parents have to make when it comes to priorities. I have read an article (I couldn’t exactly remember the title) by Mrs. Marie Bonifacio, wife of Pastor Joey, regarding the hierarchy of priorities: God, spouse, family, career and ministry.
A great reminder. ❤
I love God, I love my spouse and I love my family – these are what matters in my case now. My career will have to come next and maybe my other ambitions will have to fade away. I am still seeking for God’s direction in this area though, a period of patiently waiting and enduring.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” – Matthew 6:34
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7
There are those who were called to a life of leadership and excellence in the corporate world and professional industry among men and women alike. There are also those who were called to serve the ministry. There are those too who were called to serve their families. These are just some of the areas we were called to serve and we all fall in either of those categories one way or the other.
I believe this is the season that God is slowly clearing the view from obstacles so I could walk the path straight and yet asking me to get even closer and more in tune with Him. I trust God that He will guide me and my future family according to His plans. It may mean denying myself what this world offers at this point going against the norm and maybe going against the wishes of many which can be heartbreaking but I know in the end it will all glorify God.
I am, in fact, happier where God has put me now as long as it gives Him all the Glory and Honor He deserves. 🙂
“Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6
P.S.
This might be my last post for this year or for a couple more years even (only God knows) because I am planning to do a social media hibernation in most of my social media accounts for I don’t know how long as part of my personal prayer and fasting. There is so much I need to pray for in my life including my current health condition, my family, my country and this world and I need to seek for God’s will and instructions without distractions and temptations just like what Jesus did.
So I am temporarily ending my 4-year activity in blogosphere and passing on the baton to the new generation of faith-based bloggers. Today’s the 4th year anniversary of this blog too and I got this notification the other day about reaching 500 readers who stayed patient enough in reading this faith-based blog. Kind of a great way to end a season, eh? *wink* I believe this particular season has come to a temporary halt and God is calling me to a new season, a new task. Who knows, I might be back in just a week. lol 😀
( To God be all the Glory!)
But I am definitely sure I will be reconnected with you all again in God’s perfect time. So ciao for now my dear readers. Keep praying, keep on blogging and keep the faith always! ❤ 🙂
When I was young, I grew up to the sight of Reader’s Digest magazines laying around the house. My parents have a monthly subscription to it and when I was in grade school and high school, it became one of the favorite books I wanted to read.
This is probably where my inkling on feature stories especially those that are inspirational originated. However, there are other sections in the magazine that caught my attention too: Laughter Is The Best Medicine and Life’s Like That. For the latter, I enjoyed reading the “matter-of-fact” wisdom shared by contributors. I was young back then I didn’t know the exact name for it but contextually, I do get the point.
It was only during my college days that I realized that the “nuggets of wisdom” shared at Life’s Like That can actually be classified as a figure of speech – irony. Just to review our Literature 101 about what “irony” is:
“Irony (from Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία (eirōneía), meaning “dissimulation, feigned ignorance”[1]), in its broadest sense, is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or event in which what appears, on the surface, to be the case, differs radically from what is actually the case. Irony may be divided into categories such as verbal, dramatic, and situational.” – Wikipedia
Then I reflected about everything. Life is actually a well-celebrated mockery game – it is so full of ironies. If you’d ask me how, I’d give just a few instances I know which were shared to me and I have observed through time as well.
I have come to know of a parent who is an overachiever but with an underachiever child. Or that very religious person whose son/daughter grew up committing all sins the bible has. A wealthy expat, dignified and well-respected with a child who breaks the law often. A prominent family but conflicted relationships. The list can go on and on.
I do not judge them for who they are for these are their own battles of faith, endurance and character building as well and we can all learn from their struggles too and yet I can only ask why the opposite of what was originally intended?
Before I got saved, I was a downright cynic – sarcasm was my favorite wordplay. When I go for the kill, my best weapon was the vilest and meanest words you could think of even without a curse. These words go straight to the heart and the worst kill is towards the ego. That is because I knew nothing back then about this:
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21
Yet through it all, I don’t see this as a reason to be regretful, to be stuck in the past and to feel all forlorn even if I have suffered greatly of its consequences. No, it is actually a thing to be celebrated given the guidance of the Spirit. Yes, because looking at it in a Godly perspective, these ironies are what bring us to a position of humility. It taught me how to reflect and carefully choose the proper word in addressing every issue and every single person. It taught me to pause and assess first. It taught me self-control and to wait for the right time. It taught me to be sensitive and gentle. It taught me to be humble enough to accept my mistake and the mistake of others.
This wordplay of sarcasm which I used to love have been turned by God into words that give encouragement, light and hope which made this blog alive. 🙂
There are still times now wherein if I am not conscious and I am not putting up my guard, some of the wrong choice of words or improper delivery of my sentences i.e. tone, etc. still come out even if I intentionally did not mean it. But then, when the Spirit is in you, the rebuke will always be there – through your guilt, your conscience and your heart. That is because my eyes have been opened to the Truth and to what is right.
My husband can attest to the number of times I have almost or even crushed his spirit completely because of the words I have uttered towards him. I only realize it when he would tell me that what I told him made him realize about his weaknesses, mistakes and that I was right. But hearing him say these, I can feel the pain and see it in his eyes.
The pain.
Now this struck me to the core. Oh dear Lord, I have hurt him with my words. When I sense the pain in his tone, I immediately apologize and hug him tight and assure him that I don’t mean it. But as we all know, we can never take back the words we have spoken.
Never.
Moreover, whichever words we hear that elicited a strong emotion in us usually have the greatest impact and will be retained in the memory. If it is in the memory, it will be easily remembered – we are forever reminded. Not to mention that mean words also fuel anger and dissension which lead to conflicts, violence and eventually chaos.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1
Thus, in my pursuit towards humble repentance, I prayed to God to shield any person from any hurt that can be derived from any vile word that I unknowingly or have intentionally blurted out. I prayed even more for maximum restraint and discernment. I prayed that forgiveness will rule in our hearts and heal all wounds inflicted – the humble acceptance of mistakes.
Humility is the very core of Christianity. I don’t think I can ever define faith without it. Grace teaches us that. The Cross symbolized nothing more but Grace through humility – submission and acceptance even if undeserving. For how can God subject Himself to a lowly form here on Earth in the image of a man, devoid of any distinct title or position in the society, free from material wealth or possessions and suffered a great deal which no one else have experienced and YET did not sin even once so we could all be free from the bondage of sin?
God is God – the Alpha and the Omega, Omnipotent and Supreme. He is in Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ symbolizes nothing more but humility and acceptance out of obedience and love for His Father, His creator.
We all can never submit, accept and obey if there is no humility. It is actually humility that makes repentance possible which leads on to SALVATION. Again, it all goes back to the Cross.
So why should life be so ironic? Simply becauseLife’s Like That – full of ironies so we could all learn humility. Humility is God’s way of saving us from the perils of pride and other sins which bring much of this world’s chaos and complications in relationships.
But first, praise be to God for the healing and restoration of good health for me and hubby! ❤
Of course, a huge note of gratitude goes out to our families (biological and spiritual) and friends too who were there to offer us with all kinds of support in this tough ordeal. Ah yes, when the love of God transcends, it is hard to not love people back. So this article is a “WE LOVE YOU ALL” sort of post. *wink*
So I thought all along especially in the first few days of my fever that I have something really serious going on since prior to it, I was having a very severe headache that I once again cried myself out for relief. Paracetamol won’t even work! Oh dear, I have such a high tolerance for pain that I can live for days doing my tasks even with a migraine and even without any pain reliever. But this one is worst.
My fever went on for about 3 days and with a body temperature of 39.4. Hubby was alarmed so he told me we’d better see the doctor. I agreed and out we went to see a doctor. I was advised that it was some sort of infection since platelet count is okay and no alarming changes in my cbc (complete blood checkup). So on the 4th day, I was feeling okay. I did take medications until the 5th day. Hubby had commitments on the 6th day with his family and asked me if I would choose that he’d rather stay to monitor if ever my fever comes back. I told him 2 days have passed without the fever so it’s okay if he leaves me at home and have his 2-day get-together with his family for his sister’s birthday celebration. I had to stay at home as doctor advised a 2-3 days of bed rest.
Unfortunately, little did we know that my platelet count by this time started spiraling down already. The fever recurred. I had chills early in the morning and I felt a numbing and tingling sensation in the fingers of my right hand then followed by the fingers in my left hand. So I texted hubby that my fever’s back and I felt too weak and too nauseous to drag myself to the ER. He didn’t go to work the next day and headed straight home and off we went to the ER at my university’s infirmary. Upon having my cbc, platelet count dropped from 304 to 115. The doctor advised that if fever persists and my platelet count the next day showed to less than a hundred, I should get myself admitted to the hospital.
By this time hubby was feeling weak as well and experiencing body malaise. He assured me maybe it’s just from the weekend’s events and he incurred a flu strain on his way home. When we both got home I was hydrating myself big time although my fever subsided. Unfortunately for hubby he had a fever that went up to 40 degrees! I gave him the medications that was also prescribed to me and though it alleviated the muscle pain, his body temperature just won’t go down.
So it was now me who urged hubby to have a medical checkup the next day. He was feeling too weak when we got to the ER of the hospital nearby and the nurse said that he was already dehydrated and needed an IV therapy. He was given medications for his fever and we waited for a couple of hours. Now this was also the day I was scheduled to have a follow up check up for my updated cbc. My hubby’s doctor said that his platelet count’s still in the normal range however his cbc showed that he’s positive with dengue. She asked Brian if he’d want to be confined in the hospital for hydration via IV therapy or go home instead but hydrate big time. He opted for the latter as he’d still want to accompany me going back to the infirmary for my cbc result. I wasn’t feeling very well myself either although I have no more fever but my severe headache was still there.
@ World Citi Medical Center
But upon checking my husband’s body temperature, it was still up to 39 degrees – burning hot. I assured him to rest at home and drink lots of water and I can manage going to the infirmary to get my cbc result. When I got my result, I was dismayed – my platelet count dropped from 115 to now 85. I was very alarmed because it only meant one thing – confinement. A very low platelet count will result to severe hemorrhage/bleeding.
I went home and told hubby the sad news. He’s still got fever but his body temperature already subsided as well as the body malaise. We decided it best I’d be confined at the hospital as per doctor’s advise. This was around late in the afternoon so I started packing what we will be needing at the hospital. We also told the news to our families and they advised us everything that we will be needing at the hospital. This was my first time to be confined in a hospital for several days by the way so I was really nervous. I have no white coat syndrome though. 😀
By the time we got to the hospital, it was already late in the evening. There were so many patients at the ER that it took me and hubby almost 2 hours at the waiting area and almost 3 hours at the ER before we got our room accommodation. Then, they took another cbc to double check my platelet count. It went up to around 90 but it turned out positive for dengue. By this time mild rashes appeared in my legs already – very tiny red dots like freckles.
@ St. Luke’s Medical Center
Hubby dear, on the other hand, was still feeling weak. I urged him that he should get himself admitted too and we will just get a room for us both. But he insisted there’s no need as his platelet count was still okay although it was also dropping but not as drastic compared to mine. He also explained that I needed someone who will take care of me as it’d be difficult moving around with a dextrose.
Doctor asked: “So who’s the patient now?” lol 😀
I just totally felt so much love for my husband at this point. He sacrificed his own comfort over mine and every day he would go up and down in separate buildings to have his cbc done, brave the long queue, get the results, consult a doctor, buy his food, monitor his fluids intake, take his medications, buy my needs at the hospital and take good care of me. Now this is something that money can’t buy nor is equivalent to any prized possession – makes my heart melt every time. ❤
Or probably it is because I am more sentimental and practical than materialistic. 😉
My eldest sister visited us also and brought us lots of food and fruits just to make sure we were doing well but I couldn’t entertain her for long because of my severe headache and I was feeling really weak. I assured her that we’ll go along just fine and thanked her heartily for the visits despite her busy sched at work (she is running an entire school. *wink*).
Brother bear and sis-in-law visited us at home when I was discharged at the hospital too. I was sleeping most of the time that I was there and I do prefer being alone when I am not feeling well. The introvert in me, eh? 😉 I discouraged friends from visiting too because I don’t want them to go thru all the hassle of traveling after work just to visit me. They’d probably be dead tired and have families to take care as well AND I don’t want them to get bitten by a mosquito who bit us there at the hospital if there ever is one.
So this scenario between me and hubby went on for about 4 days and whew, by God’s grace, hubby had no more fever and I was already cleared. Although I got discharged from the hospital, hubby’s platelet count was still dropping until it came close to 109. So I teased him that maybe it’s now his turn to be admitted and I’ll be the one taking care of him this time. Rashes all over his body started appearing too and they’re more visible than mine. But the good thing about my husband was that he’s even a more consistent and determined fighter/warrior than I am. 😀
With these rashes all over him, his skin got darker and redder I teased him that he looked like a native American Indian. *wink*
He “drowned” himself in liters of water every day, slept all day long, took medications consistently and after 2 more days, he was also cleared. I asked him how he did it and prevented himself from being confined at the hospital. He just nodded and smiled. He my not be verbal about it too often but I guess he really has more faith than I am. Possibly because he has a nonchalant attitude and I don’t – the key to having complete trust in God.
While I was in the hospital, I also requested to have my recurring headaches checked and after some series of tests, the fellows of my neurologist concluded that my brain’s still functioning normally but that the pain may be muscular. I am still due though for a check up with the neurologist for the final diagnosis if I will be needing a ct scan or x-ray.
Ah yes, in my moments of lethargy, weakness and numbness, I couldn’t find the strength to even finish reading my daily devotion. So my journal entries weren’t updated for more than a week. But God knows there never passed a day that I never said a prayer in my heart to all those who went through and are going through similar challenges like what my hubby and I went through. We are now back to our regular prayer routine and indeed, a day and night without a spoken and shared prayer between me and my husband make a day incomplete. I just find it amusing though that hubby stayed true to his commitment as a husband, “in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part”…..we both got sick. lol
The aftermath of 9x of blood extractions for the cbc. *ouch*
Seriously, when it comes to prayers, God already knows them even before we say them. We always have to keep in mind that God sees our hearts and our thoughts day in and day out in every millisecond. It is a must, therefore, that we stay connected with Him too 24/7. 🙂
“A cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”- Proverbs 17:22
“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” – Psalm 73:26
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” – Philippians 4:8
P.S.
This was the moment that I was scheduled for job interviews and I already turned them all down due to my illness. So I take it that God has other plans for me. And so I wait. 🙂
It was also my second time to have a dengue fever. The first one was back in year 2012. Doctors informed us there are about 4 recognized strains of it. Whew! 😀
Here are some websites for more information about dengue:
The Journeyman's Moments 