How Social Media Is Shaping Our Lives: Is It For The Better?

I am “hibernating” on social media lately although not entirely because I still log in daily to check my messages and browse through newsfeeds. But compared to my regular social media habit the past months, I’ve been posting fewer updates recently.

I Was Gently Reminded

Last Christmas, I was excitedly capturing photos of the moments shared with my family from the food to the presents, to the activities that we did, to a whole lot more of fun-filled memories.

When my Mom saw what I was doing, she told me one thing that I’ll never forget:

“So you’re taking photos and will most probably post them on Facebook to show people the things that you have or done, which some of them might not have or can’t do.”

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Ever since the Facebook revolution started, Mom has always been cynical about it. At first, I contradicted her by saying that Facebook and all other social media channels (she doesn’t know IG, yet 😀 ) are beneficial, too, in some ways. She relented but with a gentle reminder to be wise when sharing on social media.

I must admit I had moments back then when I felt that my Mom was right. As what they say on Facebook, always “think before you click.” But it was her very recent reminder about social media that cut deeper through me – the “why” of my social media hibernation except here on WordPress.

Is It Good?

I love Science and Technology so much that I am always excited about every new discovery and invention out there. And yet, we all know, too, that every single one of them has its own pros and cons. When it comes to social media, I was wondering to what extent can it affect our lives? Is it more on the pros or the cons?

I observed one negative side of social media, what study experts call as “humblebragging.” I never even knew the term existed until I encountered it while reading a couple of articles. These write-ups describe the studies conducted to observe the effects of social media on human psychology.

Research revealed that one of the most notable effects social media has on users is depression. To connect this to what my Mom said, more often than not social media posts can breed feelings of misery, discontentment, disappointment, and discouragement, which will eventually lead to depression. If we are to trace what is causing this, the root of the evil so to speak, it is this – envy.

I have a lot of photos and a lot of status updates to share on Facebook and Instagram, but what my Mom told me last year made me think twice whether I really should go ahead and post them or not. I want to share them BUT I know what my Mom is really telling me is to be responsible for what I will share. In other words, if it isn’t beneficial to others, then leave it unshared.

My social media hibernation isn’t because I won’t post anymore. Rather, I am thinking of ways how to share to people the things that I know, the things that I did, and the things that I have that won’t elicit any feelings of jealousy and disappointment on their part.

It is not my intent for my newsfeed followers to have the wrong notion that my life is way perfect and better than theirs because it is not just true. That’s why I make it a point to share a couple of bad news, even sensitive ones, just to bring light on my weaknesses and my lack of certain things and abilities, too. This is to affirm that we are all equal and go through different circumstances but the same seasons of drought and bountiful harvest.

Yes, Facebook and Instagram have become a “bragging wall.” This is becoming a deadly trend, and I really mean deadly because it can kill someone through depression. This is the deadly trend that portrays perfection on social media and it is encouraging everyone to have a false and pretentious lifestyle just to keep up with the game.

What if you can’t keep up?

Then this now becomes the problem. This is how people start feeling less about themselves, the inadequacy around them, the hopelessness, and ultimately, the unhappiness.

So I struggle.

What should I post? Will my post make me look like a humblebrag? Will it help other people feel good about themselves? Or should I not post anything at all?

Hmmm, I think I’m humblebragging in this post. So now I’m at a loss on what I should write about. 😀

Seriously, I’m going to end this article with a prayer asking for guidance and discernment to know the right actions when sharing about our daily lives to others. And my next article will be related to this, if God wills it, entitled “Humblebragging in Christianity: A Study.”

I am guilty of humblebragging one way or the other and I want to make up for all those feelings of misery and discontentment that I have caused on other people through my past social media posts. So yes, may the Lord give us new ways to make up for these mistakes made unknowingly. ❤

Asking for the Spirit’s guidance always,

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Dressing The Part

Galaxy Wooden Dressing Up Station

Image copyright: Early Learning Furniture

I made it a habit to share a testimony every time we are in a different season. I have noticed every year God takes us to different places around the metro and mingle with different people. Through these instances, I have learned how to be grateful in any and every given situation though honestly, I used to have this fear of getting out of my comfort zone. I guess when God calls you out, He will also give you the courage and prepare you for what’s in store for you in every season. 🙂

“I am not saying this out of need, for I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances.” – Philippians 4:11

The season before this, we got to appreciate how it is to live simply, minimalist style. We both got comfortable with it and had an idea how it felt to live life with God being the primary source of everything – total reliance on Him. You may read more about this in my next article.

So when this new season presented the opposite, I asked my hubby, “Should we dress the part?” 🙂

I meant that in a figurative and literal sense. I can dress the part but is it really what my heart wants?

I remembered this one incident at the mall and I was going through different shades of my ever favorite Wacoal brassiere design. Yep, I invest in it. No explanation needed for this one but basically, I love the support it gives.

So while I was checking out this bra and then another one, I noticed a saleslady hovering around. Because I don’t like that awkward feeling of someone following me around, I tried to engage her in a conversation. I went on by asking the bra size, color, other designs, etc.

The first thing that she did was scrutinized me (quickly) from head to foot with a smirk and questioning look. Ah yes, I know that look well enough of sales clerks. That look which says, “By your looks, you don’t have money to pay for it.” 😀

I’ve read this one article about it (What To Do When People Mistake You For Being Poor When You’re Truly Rich) and I couldn’t help but agree although not much with how the article ended. I won’t waste millions just because my ego was blasted right out front but that’s because I just don’t have millions to waste away. lol But seriously, the id is one of the causes of some of the unwise things humans do, unfortunately. 😀

This article though from Forbes Magazine might give you a different perspective altogether: Why You Should Stop Trying to ‘Fake It Till You Make It.’

Anyway, going back to that brassiere sales clerk, she did entertain my queries but half-heartedly. The best part is when I did tell her I’m going to buy it, she asked again (just to make sure perhaps?) if I will buy it. I just held my tongue from making a crisp retort that goes like, “Of course I am going to buy it because I NEED it.” Yep, with the emphasis on NEED. lol I’ve been buying and wearing Wacoal bras since I was in college (2002) even if they cost 2k each. Being the practical me, you may find this unusual of me. But it’s never about the price nor the brand but the quality I’m after. I have to have all the support I needed. 🙂

But no, I see her as a darling salesclerk who is made in the likeness of God even if she treated me (harassed rather. lol) that way. I just simply said “yes” with a smile but no, I am not killing her in my thoughts. I already “killed” that initial response right away before it can even creep deeper into my heart – how to kill temptation, the temptation to be irritated or angry.

So can you guess what I was wearing that day? Well, your guess may be right – my usual “pambahay” (house clothes) look with matching “madungis” (soiled) slippers. Yep, going to the mall. lol I look no more than a beggar without the stains on the clothes though and with the “artistahin” skin as some would call it.

Just to inform you all, I have that skin not because of glutathione or any whitening products but because I am a homebody and a remote worker so I don’t get much sunlight. Also, my dad is one-fourth Japanese he doesn’t even have hair on his legs. Pretty flawless for a man, eh? 😀

So again I asked, should I be really dressing the part? Must I succumb to man’s stereotyping that when you are rich, you should dress with all the bling bling? Or that when you have a big house, you should only eat good food a la banquet or a feast? Or that when you have money, dress up in tags?

“Don’t judge the book by its cover.”

This is an adage which I have come to know since I was a kid but I cannot assume everyone knows it. If only I can educate people that it is not always the looks that define who you are and where you’ve come from. It’s been a social stigma that’s been ongoing for centuries and sadly, it has now become the norm and the reason why a lot of people are faking it.

So I was thinking of an experiment. I’ll dress up like a house help like I always would and if they stop me at the gate, I’ll just say, “I’m a helper, a different kind of helper.” 😀 On second thoughts though, I really don’t like to embarass these people when they find out who I am. It kind of gets awkward when they are like bowing to you now and greeting you with the “Maam” and all because they found out who you are and it’s their way of apologizing. 😀

One of the things I hate is this – entitlement. You can read more of my sentiments about it here: The Silent Millionaire. As much as I’d like for everyone to be treated fairly and with equality, I know there is no way to bridge that social barrier except through God, Himself.

Should I still dress the part? No, I’ll stick to what I already got used to because that is me and that is who God wants me to be. ❤

Have you ever been in situations where you felt like you should also be dressing the part? I’d like to know your experience too. 🙂

A journeyman by God’s will,

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P.S.

As for my husband, hmmm, he can wear what he likes. But he is even worse than I am. lol He wears shirts even with holes in it, wears them inside out, and doesn’t give a care. Or mismatched socks! Oh my geez whiz. No wonder we matched. Haha 😀

What We and This World Need

#LumadRally #TyphoonHaima #LawinPH #DrugWar #WarInOtherCountries #Terrorism #HumanTrafficking #Poverty #Corruption #ComplicatedPolitics #Disaster #Violence

My husband and I seldom watch the news anymore. Not that we do not want to be involved in the affairs of our country and the world. It is the opposite actually – I love my country and the world too much. But happenings as of late are becoming much of a burden to the soul and aggression is starting to creep in. Being the empathetic person that I am, seeing the current issues my country and the world are facing now is enough to make you shed tears. No, I am not depressed nor hopeless or on the verge of breaking down. But words unspoken and yet too much to bear go to my tear ducts instead. lol 😀

Ah yes, I am trying to see the good of it all. Whatever hope that I get, I wanted to share it. We cannot disregard everything that goes around because this is the society we live in. As responsible citizens, we more or less have a role to fulfill may it be directly or indirectly. We were all created to be catalysts of social change. Jesus was sent in this world to be one. As His followers and as sons and daughters of God, we are to be Christlike in every manner, fulfilling the assigned tasks that we all needed to fulfill.

I have posted in one of my Facebook posts this statement,

“The world and my country need not my anger and criticism but my love and understanding.”

So much and so many hurting. I have certain words of wisdom that I have been holding on to pretty much for most moments in my life and they were shared on to me. I’d like to encourage you to share these too for I believe these are what we and this world need at this time – FAITH, HOPE and LOVE.

“Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

So allow me to share the following words of wisdom to shed light in these moments of darkness:

There Is A Time For Everything

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

15 Whatever is has already been,
    and what will be has been before;
    and God will call the past to account.[b]

16 And I saw something else under the sun:

In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
    in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

17 I said to myself,

“God will bring into judgment
    both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
    a time to judge every deed.” – Ecclesiastes 3: 1-17

“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

Max Ehrmann, DESIDERATA

“We love each other because He loved us first.” – 1 John 4:19

The Teacher

First and foremost, I’d like to give God the honor and glory for this wonderful blessing that He has bestowed upon me – the opportunity to be a teacher. 🙂

I took the licensure examination last March and I wasn’t expecting I’d pass it. I was assigned to take the exam for the Secondary Level because of my undergraduate course which is Literature and I am not yet done with my master’s degree in Special Education. During the Licensure Exam For Teachers, the specialization part of the exam for the Secondary Level takers was difficult. I had a little distraction too as the day before I took the exam, husband and I had a little argument. Not to mention I started reviewing just a week before the said exam as I have a short span when it comes to memory retention. But despite all that accompanied by heartfelt prayers and quiet time conversations with God, He remained faithful – I still passed the exam.

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To God Be The Glory: March 2016 LET

This has made me believe in this – I was indeed called by God to be a teacher. Our family was called to be a family of teachers, from grandparents to aunts and uncles, to parents and siblings.

Yup, I am not the only teacher in the family. I have to thank them too for all the love and support they have given to me in all my endeavors and in my plight to becoming an educator. 🙂

When people finds out that you are a teacher, the first thing they say is that you are brimming with patience. As much as it is true, what people really don’t know are the obligations that a teacher truly have in performing her role in society.

I’d like to share the Preamble from the Code of Ethics for Professional Teachers to highlight said role:

“Teachers are duly licensed professionals who possesses dignity and reputation with high moral values as well as technical and professional competence in the practice of their noble profession. They strictly adhere to, observe, and practice this set of ethical and moral principles, standards, and values.”

The teacher not only teaches but she is also a catalyst of social change. She instructs and yet she disciplines, she adheres and yet she rebukes. Those are her roles in society – far bigger than what we all commonly imagine. As some would say, teachers are the ones responsible for honing the future engineers, architects, doctors, nurses, lawyers and basically every other profession in our society. In other words, the teacher performs quite a huge part in the raising of responsible citizens of the society.

This is a very big responsibility on the part of a teacher for it means that everything she says and does should match what her profession has called her to do. They should include at all times everything that was discussed in the Code of Ethics for Professional Teachers. But greater than that is the set of moral values and principles that she upholds to for these are the moral values and principles that she will be imparting to her students. These set of standards will now become the students’ guide in following who to imitate when they enter adulthood.

Yes, the teacher is the second  “Mom.”  The things that are being taught at home are also reinforced in school. It comes with great responsibility to be the  “mother”  of many children and raise them as individuals who will serve the country and their countrymen with the right and proper moral values and principles.

If you are to ask me why they are important, it is actually these values and moral principles that define who we are rather than what family we came from, what school we graduated from, where we work/worked, what are our titles, what place did we come from or what organizations are we affiliated with. The kind of values system that we have basically affects every decision that we make in life for they are the ones that govern the heart and the mind. Whatever governs the mind and the heart will govern our words, our thoughts and our actions a.k.a. how we speak, how we do things, how we react, how we feel, etc.

If you are a teacher like me, this will sound too challenging. A student can graduate at his worst or at his best depending on how the teacher has honed him/her inside the classroom through what she teaches may it be in academics or moral standards. So if one will ask, where can a teacher find the best guide in achieving such high standards of morality?

The simple answer is this: the BIBLE.

No other scripture or written literature can ever contain what the bible contains. What the bible contains are all instructions on living a life with high moral standards because we have a God who has HIGH standards.

I was called by God to be a teacher not just to teach students about English, Science or any other academic subjects but more importantly, to teach them the necessary moral principles that they need in life here in this world and life in eternity.

Some may have questioned why I need to disclose such sensitive matters on Facebook and my reason was this in light of the Scripture:

“Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.” – 1 Timothy 5:20

“All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:16 – 17

I have made a covenant that if I am to discipline a student or rebuke someone, it will and it should always be in light of the Scripture. I believe the bible holds much authority than I do and will demand much respect from those who will hear or read it for it is God’s word in written form.

There are so many issues that have been plaguing the society, marriages, personal struggles and families for ages and yet in our society, it is such a taboo to talk about these sensitive issues thus resulting to ignorance and mistakes being committed repeatedly. Name all kinds of issue that this world is suffering from, the bible has something to say about it. More often, what the bible says are all for the good of mankind. It is just that there have been only quite a few teachers who were bold and courageous enough to address these issues by sharing the Scripture pertaining to these specific issues.

They say, “History repeats itself.”  Indeed, it is true. What the bible contains are all historical events mainly for the purpose of guiding and teaching us as we will most probably go through the same experiences.

I want to save families from breaking apart, save children growing in hostile environments, and save future generations from committing the same mistakes as their ancestors did only because we did not do our part in rebuking and sharing what should be the right things to do according to the Scripture.

All we need are teachers who will be bold in sharing the Truth and courageous enough to go against what the society calls as taboo or shameful to talk about. Maybe it is time that we, as believers and born-again Christians, shed light upon matters and issues that have been plaguing relationships, marriages and families for decades already.

Wouldn’t this world be a better place for our children to live in when we are assured they’ve been taught how to live righteously so they can benefit from this righteous living and that they will be saved from the perils that their ancestors have went through?

All these can be done with just a simple task of teaching and rebuking when God calls for it. God is calling for us to protect our marriages now, our children’s future families and the families and children of other people as well through the best teaching material which is the bible. He is calling us to LIVE in the BIBLE, teach it to our children and then share it to others so they will be enlightened too.

My challenge? Do not be ashamed of sharing and teaching the Gospel for in it is where all the solutions lies to all our problems. It has been blessed by God for the very purpose of making known to everyone from whom authority does the bible is referring to and the salvation that it offers not just to us but for the future generations.

Another challenge? Obedience and discipline can come too difficult – these have been my struggles until now. My husband and I do not share the same set of values system which oftentimes create the tension in our marriage. But I am assured God will be with me in my every battle and in my every struggle. I just have to fulfill the mission, the tasks that He has set out for me to finish.

In this struggle to abide by the law and to fight for these laws, you will feel pain, resistance, persecution, sadness and yet constantly remind yourself to “fix your eyes upon Jesus, the author and the perfecter of faith.”  The early disciples felt all these too and yet they endured it all in the midst of their sacrifices.

Those who were called to fulfill their mission, this is our end goal – KEEP THE FAITH and TRUST GOD COMPLETELY.

Learn from the One Great Teacher, be a teacher, and be a disciple. I am continuously praying that God will prepare and guide me in this new season. 🙂

NOT Hopeless: May Pag-asa Pa Din

Contrary sa iniisip ng karamihan na wala ng pag-asa na mabago ang sistema sa ating lipunan kahit kailan, nais ko lang sana ipaalam na meron at meron pa ding pag-asa. 🙂

Oo, hindi na natin mababago ‘yung sistema sa ngayon sa ating gobyerno. Dahil kumbaga sa puno, ito ay isa ng acacia tree – malaki, malago at maraming ugat na nakabaon hanggang sa pinakailaliman. Hinding hindi ito basta basta mabubuwag. Putulin mo man ang puno o main trunk, andyan pa rin ang ugat, uusbong at uusbong pa rin. Kailangan ng isang napakalakas na bagyo in the history of PAGASA (‘yung ahensya at pwede namang ‘yung hope) para ito ay mabuwag at tuluyang mawala.

Ano ba ang problema sa lipunan?

Greed for money and power – ang ugat ng iba pang suliranin sa lipunan gaya ng kahirapan, pagkagutom, traffic, etc. Ito ‘yung kagustuhan to be the best and the richest. Just like how kingdoms #riseandfall noong unang panahon sa bibliya. Nga lang, karamihan ay gusto ng great power and great wealth. Parang mga leon na binigyan mo ng malaking piraso ng karne, lahat gusto tumikim.

Maaaring mabago ang konsepto na ‘yan without demanding our government and the leaders now to change dahil we don’t have the power for that anymore kundi ang Dios na. Panalangin na lang sa kanila ang maaari nating gawin. At ibabase ko lang ito sa dalawang premises na madalas nating marinig ngunit madalas din nating isantabi:

1. Change starts in me.
2. Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.

‘Yang dalawa ay magkaiba ang pinanggalingan ngunit kapag pinagsabay mo, ito ang magsisilbing daan towards that CHANGE.

Paano?

Lahat tayo ay magulang o magiging magulang o kung hindi man ay mag-aampon o magso-sponsor ng isang bata. Sa lagay na ‘yun, we have the POWER. Not for greed or money but the power to make the change in the society through the younger generations.

Saan ba nagsisimula ang paghubog ng tamang asal at magandang karakter ng isang tao mayaman man o mahirap? Sa isang pamilya sa pamamagitan ng patnubay ng magulang because we, the parents, are the leaders in our own home. Ang STEALING, CHEATING at LYING ay ilan lamang sa mga halimbawa ng di-kagandahang asal na natututunan ng isang bata oras na magkaroon sila ng kamulatan. Ang hindi pag-correct at pag-disiplina sa pagnanakaw ng ballpen ng classmate halimbawa ay maaaring mauwi sa pagnanakaw sa kaban ng bayan pagtanda.

Kung tatanungin ninyo ako ano ang guide o panuntunan para turuan ng magandang asal ang ating mga anak, sa totoo lang, ‘di mo kailangan maghanap sa iba o i-enroll sya sa isang social etiquette class – nariyan ang BIBLE. The bible contains the highest standards when it comes to morality – lahat napapaloob doon mula sa tamang pananalita, tamang reaksyon, tamang kilos, tamang desisyon at higit sa lahat, takot sa Dios.

In fact, our laws right now na ginawa originally ng ating forefathers ay ginawa alinsunod sa mga nakalagay sa bibliya. Kung titingnan natin ang 1987 Constitution of the Republic of the Philippines, mababasa mo sa Preamble ang pag-recognize kay God as the Supreme being who governs ALL laws:

PREAMBLE

We, the sovereign Filipino people, imploring the aid of Almighty God, in order to build a just and humane society, and establish a Government that shall embody our ideals and aspirations, promote the common good, conserve and develop our patrimony, and secure to ourselves and our posterity, the blessings of independence and democracy under the rule of law and a regime of truth, justice, freedom, love, equality, and peace, do ordain and promulgate this Constitution.

As a parent it is our role to live out these standards so we could become good role models at mas madali rin ang pagturo sa mga anak kung ano ang tama sa mali.

Malay mo o malay natin, ang anak mo, sya pala ang susunod na President of the Republic of the Philippines 30 years or so from now. We can never tell, right? At kung marami sila na nahubog sa tamang pamamaraan with the aid of of our Almighty God and nakaupo na sila sa pwesto ng gobyerno in the future, baka maaari ngang malabanan ang mga katiwalian dahil sila na ang mas malaki at mas malago at ang mangingibabaw ay kabutihan for the greater good of the Filipino people.

#maketheCHANGEforyourchildrenandtheirfuture

P.S.

Para saan pa nga ba ang pagpapaaral sa akin mula sa kaban ng bayan kung hindi rin ako gagawa ng paraan hanggang sa abot ng aking makakaya at kaalaman para matulungan ang aking bayan at mga kababayan. – Iskolar ng Bayan

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. What I can do, I should do. And what I should do, by the Grace of God, I will.” – Edward Everett Hale

Breaking My Silence: Elections 2016

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If I can make just this one final comment regarding the elections, it would be this: lack of respect. Lack of respect for the freedom to express and the freedom to choose and vote among candidates and followers.

If our leaders will continue bashing one another, then we should expect that in the Senate or the Congress or any government institution, decisions will be divided. They will instigate an atmosphere of unrest among their respective followers instead of instigating PEACE.

A true leader unifies and never diversifies regardless of the differences. If we want a team to work well and produce excellent performances, unity is important. How do we attain it? Respect their skills, their choices, their potentials and lastly give our support as long as its aims and goals is to build the team up.

We are not in the position to know the deepest and real intentions of the hearts of our electoral candidates. ONLY God knows. Only God knows the TRUTH for He is the one sole LEADER of this world and beyond. We all know that God always has better plans.

If we believe in the supremacy and sovereignty of a superior being above all mankind and all creations, we will RESPECT the notion that it is He who makes things work according to His purposes including the authorities that He chooses to govern the kingdoms a.k.a. countries.

Does that mean we don’t have a choice? We do. That is our God-given free will. So how do we know who to vote?

PRAY. The only way we can align ourselves to God’s plans is when we seek Him and His instructions through the one and only way we connect with Him – praying. Pray for DISCERNMENT and WISDOM that the deception and lies will be revealed and the truth will prevail.

PRAY now. PRAY even when you are seconds away before the actual voting and you are still undecided. PRAY that God will open the hearts and the minds of many whoever will sit as the new government officials.

And lastly, TRUST in Him.

RESPECT. PRAY. TRUST.

Ode On Morality

Tin Ginete

Beauty amid the blackness.

In every society, morality is that one thing that makes civilization intact by bringing public order. These are the moral dictates and code of ethics that I, too, was subjected for strict compliance not because I am a teacher but because I am a citizen of a civilized society.

If we are to look closely on all the generations, past and present, and the standard of morality today, can we actually say and claim that it has declined? Or is it all just a matter of generational gaps, adaptability and acceptance of the changing times?

Laws are the social constructs that preserve any community. As a Christian, I only got to know this one fact when I got saved – we are all governed by one law and that is His Word through the bible.

“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” – Psalm 119: 105

“Your Word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures. Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life.” – Psalm 119: 89-93

Would it be safe then to assume that we actually have no use for our current justice system? What about the laws we are obeying now? They are laws which could be as faulty and imperfect as the one who made them – man. They were made by the leaders of the generations before and the generation now.

Such are the questions that I asked and I was given the answers:

“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” – Romans 13: 1

“Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” – Hebrews 13: 7

I used to be a critic of reality to the point that I dare question what is existing or preexisted. But the Truth was given and I stopped asking questions. And I, myself, can clearly attest to this:

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:16-17

The standards of morality may change over time and yet there is this one law that stays true, valid and trustworthy for decades and centuries:

“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” – Joshua 1: 8

Bible reading and an attitude of prayer will get you that far in life. Because that is what the Law says. Not mine, not yours, but His. 🙂

“There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and destroy.” – James 4: 12

Sociopaths: Understanding Them Better

In view of the plagiarism issue that was going on around the local news, I came across this word in one of the comments – sociopath.

I never knew really what it meant except that it is a mental problem. I did my research on the internet and I must say that it is a serious case of psychiatric illness.

A sociopath is defined as a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sociopath)

Here’s what you need to know about sociopaths:

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

  • Glibness and Superficial Charm
  • Manipulative and Conning
    They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
  • Grandiose Sense of Self
    Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.”
  • Pathological Lying
    Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
  • Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
    A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
  • Shallow Emotions
    When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
  • Incapacity for Love
  • Need for Stimulation
    Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
  • Callousness/Lack of Empathy
    Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
  • Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
    Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
  • Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
    Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
  • Irresponsibility/Unreliability
    Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  • Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
    Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
  • Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
    Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
  • Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
    Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Other Related Qualities:

  1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
  2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
  3. Authoritarian
  4. Secretive
  5. Paranoid
  6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
  7. Conventional appearance
  8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
  9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim’s life
  10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim’s affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
  11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
  12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
  13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
  14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
  15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)


NOTE: In the 1830’s this disorder was called “moral insanity.” By 1900 it was changed to “psychopathic personality.” More recently it has been termed “antisocial personality disorder” in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have complained that, in the attempt to rely only on ‘objective’ criteria, the DSM has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.


DSM-IV Definition

Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths.

Diagnostic Criteria (DSM-IV)

1. Since the age of fifteen there has been a disregard for and violation of the right’s of others, those right’s considered normal by the local culture, as indicated by at least three of the following:
A. Repeated acts that could lead to arrest.
B. Conning for pleasure or profit, repeated lying, or the use of aliases.
C. Failure to plan ahead or being impulsive.
D. Repeated assaults on others.
E. Reckless when it comes to their or others safety.
F. Poor work behavior or failure to honor financial obligations.
G. Rationalizing the pain they inflict on others.

2. At least eighteen years in age.

3. Evidence of a Conduct Disorder, with its onset before the age of fifteen.

4. Symptoms not due to another mental disorder.


Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview (Written by Derek Wood, RN, BSN, PhD Candidate)

Antisocial Personality Disorder results in what is commonly known as a Sociopath. The criteria for this disorder require an ongoing disregard for the rights of others, since the age of 15 years. Some examples of this disregard are reckless disregard for the safety of themselves or others, failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, deceitfulness such as repeated lying or deceit for personal profit or pleasure, and lack of remorse for actions that hurt other people in any way. Additionally, they must have evidenced a Conduct Disorder before the age of 15 years, and must be at least 18 years old to receive this diagnosis.

People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so.

They appear to be incapable of any true emotions, from love to shame to guilt. They are quick to anger, but just as quick to let it go, without holding grudges. No matter what emotion they state they have, it has no bearing on their future actions or attitudes.

They rarely are able to have jobs that last for any length of time, as they become easily bored, instead needing constant change. They live for the moment, forgetting the past, and not planning the future, not thinking ahead what consequences their actions will have. They want immediate rewards and gratification. There currently is no form of psychotherapy that works with those with antisocial personality disorder, as those with this disorder have no desire to change themselves, which is a prerequisite. No medication is available either. The only treatment is the prevention of the disorder in the early stages, when a child first begins to show the symptoms of conduct disorder.


THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR (Source: http://chericola57.tripod.com/infinite.html)

Psychopath. We hear the word and images of Bernardo, Manson and Dahmer pop into our heads; no doubt Ted Bundy too. But they’re the bottom of the barrel — most of the two million psychopaths in North America aren’t murderers. They’re our friends, lovers and co-workers. They’re outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery. Often you aren’t even aware they’ve taken you for a ride — until it’s too late.

Psychopaths exhibit a Jekyll and Hyde personality. “They play a part so they can get what they want,” says Dr. Sheila Willson, a Toronto psychologist who has helped victims of psychopaths. The guy who showers a woman with excessive attention is much more capable of getting her to lend him money, and to put up with him when he strays. The new employee who gains her co-workers’ trust has more access to their chequebooks. And so on. Psychopaths have no conscience and their only goal is self-gratification. Many of us have been their victims — at work, through friendships or relationships — and not one of us can say, “a psychopath could never fool me.”

Think you can spot one? Think again. In general, psychopaths aren’t the product of broken homes or the casualties of a materialistic society. Rather they come from all walks of life and there is little evidence that their upbringing affects them. Elements of a psychopath’s personality first become evident at a very early age, due to biological or genetic factors. Explains Michael Seto, a psychologist at the Centre for Addiction and Mental health in Toronto, by the time that a person hits their late teens, the disorder is almost certainly permanent. Although many clinicians use the terms psychopath and sociopath interchangeably, writes psychopath expert Robert Hare on his book ‘Without Conscience’, a sociopath’s criminal behavior is shaped by social forces and is the result of a dysfunctional environment.

Psychopaths have only a shallow range of emotions and lack guilt, says Hare. They often see themselves as victims, and lack remorse or the ability to empathize with others. “Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving people,” adds Seto. The warning signs are always there; it’s just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship becomes a blinder.

Even lovers get taken for a ride by psychopaths. For a psychopath, a romantic relationship is just another opportunity to find a trusting partner who will buy into the lies. It’s primarily why a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once, says Willson. To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game. Willson refers to the movie ‘Sliding Doors’ to illustrate her point. In the film, the main character comes home early after just having been fired from her job. Only moments ago, her boyfriend has let another woman out the front door. But in a matter of minutes he is the attentive and concerned boyfriend, taking her out to dinner and devoting the entire night to comforting her. All the while he’s planning to leave the next day on a trip with the other woman.

The boyfriend displays typical psychopathic characteristics because he falsely displays deep emotion toward the relationship, says Willson. In reality, he’s less concerned with his girlfriend’s depression than with making sure she’s clueless about the other woman’s existence. In the romance department, psychopaths have an ability to gain your affection quickly, disarming you with words, intriguing you with grandiose plans. If they cheat you’ll forgive them, and one day when they’ve gone too far, they’ll leave you with a broken heart (and an empty wallet). By then they’ll have a new player for their game.

The problem with their game is that we don’t often play by their rules. Where we might occasionally tell a white lie, a psychopath’s lying is compulsive. Most of us experience some degree of guilt about lying, preventing us from exhibiting such behavior on a regular basis. “Psychopaths don’t discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat,” says Seto. “There’s no distinction between friend, family and sucker.”

No one wants to be the sucker, so how do we prevent ourselves from becoming close friends or getting into a relationship with a psychopath? It’s really almost impossible, say Seto and Willson. Unfortunately, laments Seto, one way is to become more suspicious and less trusting of others. Our tendency is to forgive when we catch a loved one in a lie. “Psychopaths play on this fact,” he says. “However, I’m certainly not advocating a world where if someone lies once or twice, you never speak to them again.” What you can do is look at how often someone lies and how they react when caught. Psychopaths will lie over and over again, and where other people would sincerely apologize, a psychopath may apologize but won’t stop.

Psychopaths also tend to switch jobs as frequently as they switch partners, mainly because they don’t have the qualities to maintain a job for the long haul. Their performance is generally erratic, with chronic absences, misuse of company resources and failed commitments. Often they aren’t even qualified for the job and use fake credentials to get it. Seto talks of a patient who would get marketing jobs based on his image; he was a presentable and charming man who layered his conversations with educational and occupational references. But it became evident that the man hadn’t a clue what he was talking about, and was unable to hold down a job.

How do you make sure you don’t get fooled when you’re hiring someone to baby-sit your child or for any other job? Hire based on reputation and not image, says Willson. Check references thoroughly. Psychopaths tend to give vague and inconsistent replies. Of course the best way to solve this problem would be to cure psychopaths of their ‘illness.’ But there’s no recipe for treating them, say psychiatrists. Today’s traditional methods of psychotherapy (psychoanalysis, group and one-on-one therapy) and drug treatments have failed. Therapy is more likely to work when an individual admits there’s a problem and wants to change. The common problem with psychopaths, says Sets, “Is they don’t see a problem with their behavior.”

Psychopaths don’t seek therapy willingly, says Seto. Rather, they’re pushed into it by a desperate relative or by a court order. To a psychopath, a therapist is just one more person who must be conned, and the psychopath plays the part right until the therapist is convinced of his or her ‘rehabilitation.’

Even though we can’t treat psychopaths effectively with therapy, it doesn’t mean we can’t protect ourselves, writes Hare. Willson agrees, citing the most important factor in keeping psychopaths at bay is to know your vulnerabilities. We need to “realize our own potential and maximize our strengths” so that our insecurities don’t overcome us. Because, she says, a psychopath is a chameleon who becomes “an image of what you haven’t done for yourself.” Over time, she says, “their appearance of perfection will begin to crack,” but by that time you will have been emotionally and perhaps financially scathed. There comes a time when you realize there’s no point in searching for answers; the only thing is to move on.

Taken in part from MW — By Caroline Konrad — September 1999

THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY:

These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable.

First, to recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind.

(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything.

(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.

(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else’s fault.

(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.

(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade.

If you have come into conflict with such a person or persons, do the following immediately!

(1) Notify your friends and relatives of what has happened.

Do not be vague. Name names, and specify dates and circumstances. Identify witnesses if possible and provide supporting documentation if any is available.

(2) Inform the police. The police will do nothing with this information except to keep it on file, since they are powerless to act until a crime has been committed. Unfortunately, that often is usually too late for the victim. Nevertheless, place the information in their hands.

Obviously, if you are assaulted or threatened before witnesses, you can get a restraining order, but those are palliative at best.

(3) Local law enforcement agencies are usually under pressure if wealthy or politically powerful individuals are involved, so include state and federal agencies as well and tell the locals that you have. In my own experience, one agency that can help in a pinch is the Criminal Investigation Division of the Internal Revenue Service or (in Canada) Victims Services at your local police unit. It is not easy to think of the IRS as a potential friend, but a Swedish study showed that malignant types (the Swedes called them bullies) usually commit some felony or other by the age of twenty. If the family is wealthy, the fact may never come to light, but many felonies involve tax evasion, and in such cases, the IRS is interested indeed. If large amounts of money are involved, the IRS may solve all your problems for you. For obvious reasons the Drug Enforcement Agency may also be an appropriate agency to approach. The FBI is an important agency to contact, because although the FBI does not have jurisdiction over murder or assault, if informed, they do have an active interest in any other law enforcement agencies that do not follow through with an honest investigation and prosecution should a murder occur. Civil rights are involved at that point. No local crooked lawyer, judge, or corrupt police official wants to be within a country mile if that comes to light! It is in such cases that wealthy psychopaths discover just how firm the “friends” they count on to cover up for them really are! Even some of the drug cartel biggies will scuttle for cover if someone picks up the brick their thugs hide under. Exposure is bad for business.

(4) Make sure that several of your friends have the information in the event something happens to you. That way, an appropriate investigation will follow if you are harmed. Don’t tell other people who has the information, because then something bad could happen to them as well. Instruct friends to take such an incident to the newspapers and other media.

If you are dealing with someone who has considerable money, you must realize that they probably won’t try to harm you themselves, they will contract with someone to make the hit. The malignant type is a coward and will not expose himself or herself to personal danger if he or she can avoid it.


Update: A thorough article. You may also find more at http://sociopathworld.com/.

I, the creator of this site, am not a psychologist and have no special expertise in the subject. I created the site as a public service, because no similar site existed in 2003. I occasionally get sad calls and emails. I urge you to consult either a clinical psychologist or the police depending on the problem you face, and wish you good luck.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(Published article can be found here: http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html)

Here are some tips in case you know one or has a friend who is one, although the best thing to do is to get that someone seek professional help:

http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Sociopathic-Friend.

The Great Divide

Canyon Cove in Nasugbu, Batangas

Canyon Cove in Nasugbu, Batangas, Philippines

Sand and sea, land and water.

While taking a photo of the scenery by the beach at Canyon Cove in Nasugbu, Batangas, snippets of what I learned in the academe came through – society, its people and the barriers.

If partiality bespeaks of the unfair divide in the dichotomy of social statuses, will there ever be equality in favor to what majority of the public is comprised of, thus magnifying the basis of and for existentialism?

It is the least of my concerns, most people would say, but the thing is, I see it every single day. And it strikes, it kills.

On a less serious note, accuse me now of verbosity, yes, I am indeed guilty of the crime.

Undeniably guilty. 😉