Tag Archives: sickness

Gaano Ba Kahirap Magkaroon Ng Isang Malubhang Karamdaman?

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Hindi ko talaga ito masasagot pa sa ngayon. So, bakit ka pa nagsulat, Tin? lol Sa totoo lang, wala na dapat talaga tayong paguusapan dito kaya mas maigi sigurong tapusin na natin ito. Ito ‘yung article na hindi pa nagsisimula e natapos na. 😂

Pero ‘yun talaga ang totoo. ‘Di ko ito masasagot hanggang sa ako mismo ang makaranas ng isang malubhang karamdaman. Minsan nga iniisip ko na kapag nagpacheckup ako ay sana ganito lang maging usapan namin ng doktor ko:

Me: Dok, may parang kakaiba po kasi akong nararamdaman sa banda rito at banda roon. Ano kaya ito?

Dok: Ah, actually pinipitik lang ‘yan. Parang ganito. Gamit syempre ‘yung middle finger kasi mas malakas. Tapos kung ‘di nawala, pitikin mo ulit gamit naman ang forefinger. Tas ‘pag ‘di pa rin talaga nawala, ‘yung ring finger naman. Ganun lang sya.

Sa mga pasyente na makakabasa nito, ‘wag na ‘wag po kayo maniwala sa doktor nyo kapag ganyan ang sagot nya. Malamang at sa malamang ay doktor sya ng mga kababalaghan. 😆✌️

Dahil wala pa talaga ako gaano maise-share sa topic na ito, ititigil ko na ito at saka na lang ulit kapag matino na ako mag-isip. Alam ko napaluha ko kayo sa article na ito. Pero at least masaya ang inyong mga luha kahit kayo mismo ay hindi. 👍👍

Ang gusto ko lang talaga sabihin na sana ay manatili tayong matatag sa gitna ng mga mabibigat na pinagdaraanan natin sa buhay at huwag mawawala ang pananampalataya natin sa Panginoon. 🙏

P.S. Dahil hindi ako makagalaw masyado dito sa condo at maliit ang space (kaya siguro kung anu-ano iniisip ko), hanggang nood na lang muna ng mga dance workouts. The video below is a high-intensity cardio workout kaya mas magandang may warm-up and cool down sessions before and after the dance routine.

P.P.S. At na-LSS din ako kaso ibang lyrics nakakanta ko sa part ng “tu me qemas me qemas me qemas” kasi nagiging “kume-kyeme a kyeme a kyeme.” 🎵 At siguraduhin lang din na may at least 2 meters na social distancing habang sumasayaw kasi kung ang katabi mo ay nasa energy level 100 humataw, baka ma-knockout ka nya. Hataw, mga bes, and stay healthy! 🥰💃

Dying Young, Dying Old: A Lenten Season Special

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February this year was full of mourning and grief from deaths of loved ones of people I know. It made me think about life’s brevity and longevity – the reason why Science never stopped in discovering how life can be preserved. In fact, a lot of movies have been inspired by it – how to attain immortality. But, as we all know, only One conquered death and it’s for the purpose of giving everyone immortality – eternal life.

What is Death?

One story is about someone from our church. I don’t know her personally but we have common friends. When I checked out her profile, three words came into my mind – young, devoted, and vibrant. Her life, albeit short, was full of colors – she lived life to the fullest in adoration and service to the Lord. She was diagnosed with lupus and it was through her testimony that I discovered that lupus is also the same as cancer – incurable. What struck me after reading her testimony was this statement: “Sometimes pain can make you forget God.”

It is true. Any form of extreme pain, may it be physical or emotional, can sometimes make you question your existence, your purpose, and finally your faith. But, if you have been saved prior to the pain, or even during the pain, none of everything you will go through, what you have done, and what you have will matter.

“We, therefore, were buried with Him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may walk in newness of life.” -Romans 6:4

The same goes to those who died old. It reminded me of my maternal grandma who will be celebrating her 95th birthday this year if God wills it. She would always ask me and my siblings when will God take her. Our only answer is that only God knows and maybe God has a purpose for her that is still yet to be fulfilled.

I see her suffer now from the ailments of old age. I feel her pain. I ask God the same questions, too. And one of those questions is this, “Lord, is there ever a way for us to die a painless death a.k.a. the easy death?”

I guess we all have that moment wherein we ask God how we will die. Will we ever grow old? Will we die of cancer? Will we die in an accident? Will I die in my sleep? Will I die with a mangled body? Will I die writhing in pain?

Is Your Heart Ready?

Through all these questions, one stood out: “Are our hearts ready?”

Can we live life just like my churchmate? Though she went through so much pain, she had the assurance of life in eternity. It’s the same with my grandma. Though there is a restlessness in her heart, peace also comes within her brought about by the same assurance.

There’s just one form of death that makes me deeply sad – suicide. One of my friends on Facebook shared about a niece, a high school student, who committed suicide by hanging herself. I checked out her profile and I have seen how depression overtook the better part of her.

If only someone reached out to her and shared the Good News. A shared conversation could’ve changed her fate. A shared story would’ve made all the difference. A fellowship perhaps about how we all go through painful and difficult moments in life and yet by God’s grace and because of the assurance of life in eternity, we endure them all, we strive forward and carry our own “crosses” no matter how heavy they are. Yes, carry them until we have fulfilled what God has tasked us to do as a follower of Christ.

I grieved for her soul – that which can never be resurrected, one that will forever be lost.

I Am Ready

Death, sickness, lost lives…they all dawned on me and my current situation. I lost one good career opportunity because my health demanded it. I am facing my own fears, too – dying young, dying old, and going through extreme pain.

But instead of living life in fear dreading what sad or bad news the future might bring, I celebrate life. Not through YOLO or FOMO but through a heart that is ready.

God has been postponing my visit to the doctor for a whole lot of different reasons – the doctor canceled, hubby’s loa wasn’t approved, etc. But this coming Saturday is our “hope” day. And as with everything, I will wait what and where God will bring me. So as my prayer goes, LET HIS WILL BE DONE. 🙂

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.” – Revelation 21: 5

Peacefully waiting,

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What I Love About Being Sick

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I have always been a sickly kid and even until now. And no, it has nothing to do with my sedentary lifestyle because I eat properly, I take multivitamins, I make sure I get at least 8 hours of sleep, and I have an occassional physical activity.

I can remember how my first week in an office job last year started with an energy-sapping flu that lasted for more than a week. Also, when my husband and I were both diagnosed with dengue in 2016, I was confined for a week. He, on the one hand, wasn’t confined because his body was able to recover the lost fluids through the help of an IV in one hospital and managed to be an out patient.

Every time I have a cough and flu it lasts for about a month without the meds and not less than 2 weeks even with the meds. I believe this has something to do with the weak genes. But I cannot say for certain if it has something to do specifically with the cancer genes that runs in the family.

My Mom’s a breast cancer survivor and breast cancer has been consistent for every generation starting from my great grandmother. So the next generation is us. The question is, who among my sisters and me will be the next title holder? 😀

This is also probably the reason why God never intended I work in an office. All the stress of traveling and dealing with the traffic everyday will send me to the grave earlier than His intended timeline.

That is why remote working, too, is very suitable for me. I get to do everything that I needed to do because I don’t have to spend hours being stuck in traffic. And yet I can still do these tasks at ease because I get to plan them ahead of time and never in a hurry.

What I love about being sick though is that it gives me time to pause and contemplate about everything. Though I contemplate most of the time, I do it while multitasking. I am not used to just sitting and staring at the wall for hours or just being idle most of the time. It’s going to make me insane.

In fact, even if I’m sick and I know I still can move around, I will still do something. Like this article perhaps. 🙂

I have this mindset that being sick and not doing something will only make my sickness worse. I actually just got home because I went out and bought stuff. I would’ve walked 2 blocks to get to the grocery store but I was scared I’d pass out on my way there.

Not doing anything when sick means being able to feel the pain and that your body is getting weaker. I have a very high tolerance for pain and very strong-willed too, so unless I am dying, you’d still see me walking around even when sick.

I could still remember when both hubby and I were diagnosed with dengue. I was confined at the hospital because of it. And yet before hubby brought me in, I was the one taking good care of him the day before because even though I am starting to feel weak already, will power just got me going. He was rehydrated through an IV and given antibiotics because his blood platelets were going down.

I didn’t notice that mine was spiraling down way faster that after the blood test the next day, the lab tests showed that my platelet count was waaaaaay too low that the doctor insisted I be confined at a hospital. Otherwise, I will experience internal bleeding and hemorrhaging.

It was only when I was at the hospital lying on the bed that I felt the fever, the muscle pain, etc. Meds won’t work sometimes because I am allergic to painkillers so I had to bear all the pain. It’s a good thing my husband recovered quickly, he was the one who took care of my needs while I was at the hospital. And this included being by my side when I just sobbed the pain away.

Yes, I guess when your body said it had enough, no high pain threshold can ever keep you from not feeling the pain at all. So I learned, too, that getting sick is the body’s way to rest. Rest and do nothing even if it means staring at the ceiling the rest of the day. Just like what I will do after I write this. 😀

I am planning to sketch so I can rest my brain but the meds are making me drowsy. I just thought about finishing the new sketch I am making for Dad because I made such a mess of my first sketch of him.

Applied an expired fixative – spots are everywhere. 😭

Getting ready for the new sketch on Dad.

I’d better get the new sketch done with minimal errors because I’m on to the last page of my sketch pad. 😀

Do you have any ideas how I can turn it into a beautiful mess? 😉

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” – Psalm 73:26

Always writing in sickness and in health,