The Christian From Bicol

Posted on April 20, 2016 by Christine Lailani

(This is an excerpt from this post I wrote back in November 2013 during Typhoon Yolanda. I thought this particular content deserves to have its own separate article with a different title this time.)

Wherever God would take me, whatever God would give me, I will bring with me two identities: first, I am a Christian, and second, I am a Bicolana.

I can never be prouder of anything I have and whoever I have become other than those two I have mentioned above.

Why a Christian? I am nothing and nobody without my God, first and foremost. My identity is in Him, and I believe I need not say more as it is what it already is. 🙂

Why a Bicolana then? Ahh, this is most likely where I’ll be explaining more.

I grew up in the province. I spent more than half of my life there. As of writing, that is. There’s no other place that I could ever call ‘home’ except Bulan. Yes, that is my hometown, a small town in the province of Sorsogon somewhere in the southernmost part of Luzon.

Sorsogon consists mostly of coastal areas surrounded by beaches of all sand colors from white, pink, to black – you name it, we have it. Rich in natural resources, fishing and farming have been the sources of livelihood with almost all the Bulanons (that’s how we generally call ourselves).

Fishing

If there is one value that being a Bicolana has taught me, it would be this – knowing your roots. In other words, learn to look back from your humble beginnings. Bulan is the one thing that has taught me how it is to be humble and to be grateful. Humility bespeaks when the heart is in awe of the mediocre. I know you are going to agree with me right there.

I came from a family of farmers. My parents, my grandparents, and the parents before them all came from humble beginnings. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them. Gratitude is what I could offer to my ancestors for the sacrifices and hard work that they have invested in providing the best for their families.

I came from a generation wherein I didn’t have to go to the fields and do the farming myself, and go home with sweaty clothes covered in mud just to pay for all of my expenses and supply my needs. An experience I never had to go through, and yet something that I would want to go through.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles, and my grandparents.

They say that for someone to appreciate the value of something less than its market value and more of its sentimental value, you have to work hard for it and have it like how it is usually done and achieved. You have to sweat it out, so to speak.

I was listening to the podcast of Pastor Christian Flores regarding Victory’s new series entitled “It’s Not About The Money” two Sundays ago, and he mentioned the story of a farmer and how this farmer had invested his earnings in acquiring an even bigger barn where he could store more, which actually resulted in his own destruction.

That made me think about our farm, our farmers, and what we really get from it. For starters, our farmhouse did not change, though many years and decades have passed. We are earning just enough, and we are still living frugal lives, though we have acquired some possessions through time – still, I think it is not about the money. Money, for us, is something that has to do with survival, but never to accumulate great wealth and live grandiose, rich lives.

I might be speaking out of righteousness here, but if you will personally ask me, that is how I think it should be. I do not wish to dwell on this matter then and will just leave all the explaining to our Pastors as they lead us on with the series – a reason for you to stay tuned for our upcoming podcasts or better yet visit a nearby Victory church: http://victory.org.ph/. (Sorry for the shameless plugging, but I felt you would understand it better if the explaining would come from our church leaders).

victoryqc.org

This is the season of harvesting, and when I went home during the holidays last November 1 and 2, I chanced upon the last harvest in our farm. I have skin asthma, and as much as I should be staying away from hay, I know it would not stop me from going along with my Dad. I suffered the consequences later on – my cough got worse, and itchy rashes came out that lasted for about a week, leaving black spots on my skin, which then stayed on for about how many months.

The last time I was with my Dad during harvesting was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I could still remember how our parents would ask us (not really me, as I was way too young, but my sisters and brother) to help in drying the “palay” we had harvested so they could be sold to the millers for a good price before they then sell it to the market.

Yes, how could I really forget all the scurrying here and there, to and fro, when dark clouds come, and heavy rains start to pour. It only means sweeping the grains, piling and covering them up as FAST as you can to prevent them from getting wet, thus lowering the chances of getting a low price as “palay” buyers measure the moisture content of the rice grains. The drier the grain is, the higher its market value.

Threshing of palay.

My Dad is not a farmer per se. He is a civil engineer who juggled two occupations at the same time – that of a farmer and a superintendent at the National Irrigation Administration in the Bicol region (officially at San Ramon, OIC in Masbate and Sorsogon City). He is now 74 years old, retired from his engineering career, and yet a continuing farmer. I have always admired my Dad, who, at his age, still manages to do what he would always do at the farm despite his arthritis, gout attacks, hypertension, cataract, and other illnesses of the aged. Although we don’t dry the harvested rice grains anymore to lessen the stress level of all the scurrying and hurrying, tending the farm is still a lot of busy work to do.

I went to the farm with my Dad not to harvest the grains myself and have them threshed out but witness how it is usually done. I have to get into the particulars as to how to do this and that. Well, I might consider farming as my job someday. Yes, “Tin” the farm girl. *wink* I think I heard my Kuya’s sarcastic chuckle back there again. Haha Yeah, right. And yes, I wanted to observe how our farmers do it – our trusted and loyal workers. I admired them more than I have admired an office employee (no offense to office-based workers). But hard labor is no easy job. Exposed in the heat of the sun, bending over for hours either planting rice seedlings or harvesting them, soaked in mud or inhaling the itchy hay dust when threshing are, for me, among the most challenging tasks.

I closely looked at all of them. I saw Tio Digoy and Tio Kadog – they are the oldest among all of them. They have been working for my Dad since I was a kid. Now, their sons are working for us as well. I have learned to love them for all that they have put up for me and my family. I am praying that through us, their sons, daughters and grandchildren will one day have a better future because of their parents and grandparents’ hard work. Though that means we might lose workers in our farms, it would also be equivalent to giving everyone the chance to have better lives than what they have now.

I am praying too that someday there will no longer be a need for manual labor and everything will be run by machines operated in a clean office from planting to harvesting rice. That goes as well for harvesting coconuts and converting them into copra. The team of Tio Digoy also does them for us. Skilled, they really are. My family and I will always be grateful to them. We will always be grateful to Him for any blessing that He has bestowed as well as for His guidance and protection not just to me and my family but to our skilled workers and their families as well.

Coconuts being made into copra.

So if most think this is what I do in Bicol:

http://us.123rf.com

Nope, that’s not it because this is what I usually do:

“Tin, The Farm Girl”

Quite the opposite, right? Well, aside from washing the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the pets, etc. and having a little vacation time actually. We have no helpers or house maids back home and here in Manila, by the way. As it is written in the bible:

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” – Matthew 10:45

Let’s all live a life of servitude, shall we my dear brothers and sisters? 🙂

The Truth vs. The Lie

Posted on April 2, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Photo credit: meada.net

After overcoming a tough situation with my husband, I am just grateful that God protected our marriage. Praise God for this. 🙂

Through the course of events, there was one instance wherein I told my husband this,

“Honey, when there comes a point that you did something wrong, people found out and asked me about it, I will not deny and lie but I will tell them the truth. I ask you to do the same because I am not perfect either and I will be committing mistakes too.

I know we should protect each other and this marriage but I value the truth more than committing a sin such as lying because I know the truth will set both of us free. I know it is only God who can and will protect this marriage as long as we choose to stick together and always obey Him and His commands.”

TRUTH.

The truth is something that is heavy to bear especially if we are not yet ready to say it or hear it. Most of the time it causes us to feel guilt, to be ashamed, to deny it and to cover it up with excuses or lies. Let’s consider the fact that a lie is still a lie regardless if you did it out of a good or a bad intention.

Yet for cases such as what I have mentioned above, part of telling the truth is taking the risk of getting hurt and hurting the people you love. But consider the idea that taking that risk will never fall for nothing. God will reward you for telling the truth and upholding it. It has been written in the bible that “Then you will know the Truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32) and it does.

The truth will set you free from all the guilt, all the shame and all the condemnation. It is the truth that will combat the enemy’s weapons of deception and lies. These are the lies and deception that you are filthy, you are most sinful, unworthy of forgiveness, that people will regard you lowly as a person when they found out who you were and what you have done and that you have no hope and chances in becoming better.

It has been said in the bible that “For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God” (Romans 3:23) and yet this is exactly the reason why we have the Cross and why God sent His Son to suffer, pay for our sins and die for us so we could be saved. It is the Truth that prevailed on the Cross when everybody and the enemies believed He will die and that He is not the Son of God.

In the same way, telling the truth will relinquish us from any emotional burden or stronghold that ties us to the enemy through acceptance of the mistake committed, repentance and finally receiving God’s forgiveness through His Son.

God’s gift is FREE for all. Jesus Christ was that gift being the Way towards salvation, the Truth that He is the Son of God and the Life towards eternity. He was the ultimate sacrifice meaning He didn’t just die for the sins committed by the people of the past generation, our ancestors, but He died once and for all for all of us and for all our sins committed in the past, present and future. This is God’s forgiveness, His free gift, but it should not be taken for granted.

For though we have been forgiven of our future sins which God already knew beforehand that we will commit, we still have made a covenant with the Lord to say “no” to sin and live a righteous life when we surrendered our lives to Him. As it is written, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19).

This is not so we could earn and work our own way towards salvation for it has already been done by Jesus’ sacrifice, but out of our love and honor to God who gave us the way to receive His gift of experiencing a life without pain and trouble. This is the free gift of eternal salvation or eternity in heaven EVEN THOUGH we do not deserve it.

As a loved one, it hurts to see your loved one get hurt because of sin. But as a Christian, we know that experiencing pain because of doing the right thing never gets away from God’s attention. Everything that you do in God’s way, you are doing for the honor and the glory of God. As a believer and as a Christian, that is all that God has called us to do – everybody’s mission.

I took the risk to feel pain. I took the risk to hurt people. I took the risk to let the Truth be known. For this is the will of God.

But if you are to ask me how should we believe this Truth, then my answer is through faith. For it has been said:

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see…” (Hebrews 11:1) and “Blessed are those who believe without seeing me” (John 20:29).

Are we believing a lie or a truth? Are we going to tell the lie or the truth? Are we ready for the Truth? 🙂

The Battle Cry

Posted on March 29, 2016 by Christine Lailani

There was once a moment when he asked me:

“Why am I experiencing all these failures and disappointments?”

“If there is a God, then He should not allow me to suffer but how come He won’t listen to my prayers?”

And my answer was simple:

“There is a God, He listens to you and He answers. BUT you just don’t hear it because you don’t believe.”

And I continued:

“Didn’t you know that this world that we live in now is the devil’s domain?

Didn’t you know that most of the problems that we encounter are all fueled by the dark forces and the evil nature that reside in this world?

Didn’t you know that this world is condemned, it is temporary and this was cursed because of our fallen nature, that moment when Adam and Eve (our ancestors) were banished from the garden of Eden because of sin?

BUT…

Didn’t you know too that God has made peace with us by sending His Son as the ultimate sacrifice so we can choose to have life?

Didn’t you know that that life is not the life lived in this world, but lived in a world where everything is pleasing, good and perfect and everything evil, the ones that we are experiencing now, will forever be eradicated including death?

Didn’t you know that this other world is called heaven, a place of eternity and eternal salvation in contrast to hell which is eternal condemnation?

Didn’t you know that what God only wanted for us is to accept His gift to us which is eternal salvation through His Son Jesus Christ?

Didn’t you know that this salvation means God wants to save us from the dark forces of evil in this world by giving us a chance to claim victory towards life in eternity?

Didn’t you know that God wanted to prove to you that He is more powerful than anything in this world and that He is the only one who can save you from the perils of this world just by simply surrendering to the Way towards salvation, surrendering to the Truth that death has no power over the Son of God, and surrendering to the Life that is eternal and infinite – Jesus Christ?

Didn’t you know that it only takes three ways to believe in God, our ticket towards heaven – to repent, to surrender and to proclaim you need a Savior?”

And so I continued:

“If you don’t really know all these things, then I humbly dare you to ask God to come into your life, reveal Himself to you and prove that He is indeed God of all.”

This was how I ended the battle for I believe God will finish it for me. All I have to do is believe then proclaim – this is my battle cry.

Courage: The Brighter Side

Posted on March 22, 2016 by Christine Lailani

If there is one thing that faith, the church, our family and the spiritual family all point to, that would be to look at the brighter side of things. 🙂

The first few months of this year have been a struggle for me and my husband which includes everything about life in general i.e. careers, aspirations, adjustments, financial breakthroughs, settling differences, goals, etc. More trials turned up for the month of March which drove me to devote full time to gospel reading, bible study devotion and quiet times.

There were a lot of times that I asked God for guidance, courage and strength to withstand them all as there are times more often too that I felt like everything is a mess, in chaos, uncertain of what the future holds, and all I ever did/was doing was a mistake. Little did I know that God has everything planned out for me already – all I have to do is to be still.

In times of extreme trials, it is the Word that I turn to and it is prayers that held me through. I tried to find snippets of things that would give me hope and I just smiled when I realized how could I be so blind or how could I let my problems blind me from the Truth.

How could I not trust God at all? How could I speak so much about my faith when I can’t even rely on God’s power and greatness which rule this world and beyond?

Yes, as I have said in my previous articles, when it comes to faith you really have to make an affirmation each and every single day. Life is all about God, faith, and nothing else. As my brother would always tell me, “Life has always been a battle of faith.”

Speaking of my brother, God used him as the instrument for me to know what faith is all about, introduced me to a spiritual family which then helped me get out of the pit I was in and finally led me to my salvation. As our church leaders would instruct us, salvation is just the start of your spiritual journey. As much as you have been renewed, being a born again Christian does not exempt you from the perils and sorrows of this world – faith has only made you and your life storm-proof.

It was all God’s plans. As you begin to understand that every single day of your life comprises the millions of routes in God’s blueprints will you realize that it was God who brought you where you are now. But because most of the time our human selves do not have the capacity to explain our circumstances, we rely on them as what they seem to be.

Yet being the all-knowing God, He knows that too. This is probably the reason why He has already prepared us and what we will be needing through the next course of our lives here in this world. Going back to my brother, he and my sister-in-law have been the constant givers of my Paulo Coehlo planner since 2013, the year I got saved, as a Christmas gift – something that I am always grateful for.

Not that I am advertising but I believe God has aligned it to be this way – why I should get hold of this certain planner. This planner, aside from this blog, holds my day-to-day scribbling in my spiritual walk. It contains the verses of the day, my bible study devotion, my Our Daily Bread quotation, my prayer requests, my gratitude note, my problems and my breakthroughs.

What I love about this planner is that each month there is a value/character trait assigned to it and it just fascinates me that these character traits as well as the quotations in the pages depict so much of what I have been going through.

There is no coincidence in God, something which I have learned since I got saved. I see this character trait as the one trait that I know God wanted me to have at that particular month/time of the year. It is just that I have to wait at what particular day of the month will I be needing this particular character trait.

For the month of March, this is the character trait: SURRENDER. 🙂

How timely, how accurate, how helpful – amazing our God is, isn’t He? He knows everything. The general quotation for this month also reveals much of what I needed in my marriage.

The first blog post I wrote for this year was entitled “An Appreciative 2016” simply because I felt that this year will be full of trials and yet we needed to see the beauty of them all. One of my experiences that helped me see things in the Light was after completing a crucial life-changing event which was a test of patience and endurance. After the event, this was what I received from my Mom using my Dad’s number (my Dad always replies in the vernacular):

My Mom is the authoritative type of parent. We don’t have the warm and cuddly mother and daughter relationship. YET, I have so many things that I should be thankful for when it comes to my Mom. For though we are so far away from each other and all my other siblings have their own priorities too in life and I used to live alone, my Mom just nailed it when she stressed out what I should be appreciating – the gift that God has given me which is a partner in life through a husband.

I smiled when I read it and of course, I can’t help but cry. Yes, I seldom receive text messages from my Mom because they are busy managing our house in the province and our farm, but when she does text, it is always something special – meaningful. Just that single text jolted me back to not see the negative things in my marriage but look at the brighter side of it.

I know I am not alone because I have learned to rely on God completely for the first two years of my life since I became a born-again Christian and I was living alone. I have devoted those two years in establishing a deeper and more personal relationship with God. God knows I needed that so when great trouble comes in the later years of my life, I know how to go back to Him.

Because I already know the Way, the Truth and the Life.

It is just that God reminded me that He gave me a husband for a reason and that once again, when troubles become overwhelming, SURRENDER. Just like how I surrendered 3 years ago. And after my “dark moments” post on Facebook, I received a text message from an unidentified number. I am guessing the person is one of my sisters or brothers in Christ who have been touched by God to fulfill the role of being part of those “reminders.” My extreme gratitude for this person whose heart belongs indeed to God. Praise God for your life my dear brother/sister.

And this was the text:

Our spiritual leaders in church, at home or anywhere else in our society have been called by God to receive the gift of prophecy. My Mom is not a devoted Christian but she believes in God and the bible and if there is one trait that I would like to learn from her, that is having a foresight. As a kid, she would always refer it to us as ESP (Extrasensory Perception) or being able to determine what a person will do next or knowing what will happen next. It is “sixth sense” to some and foresight to many. As a born-again Christian now, I see it as having the gift of prophecy. She told us that we should learn it and cultivate it for it will become very handy in our future plans and how we do things. Yup, practical my Mom really is. *wink*

My brother’s foresight is now almost similar to my Mom and we sometimes tell him that maybe he is the one who got it all from Mom. I am guessing it is this foresight that made him give the Paulo Coehlo planner to me in the first place and the significance it’ll bring in my spiritual journey. If I am to compare my Mom and my brother, they have one thing in common – they see things differently than all the rest of us. To me, I see all darkness and blur and yet to them, they see the beauty of it all, the goodness of the darkness and the events that will follow after.

Now if I am to compare it with faith, it says the same thing – train ourselves to see the Light. You can only see the Light when you see things in a Godly perspective. That is, allowing God to take over in driving the path of your life. Again, SURRENDER.

During the bad times, I oftentimes try to take control in solving things out. During the bad times, I see my spouse so differently and very much in the dark. But my Mom, the text message, and the monthly character traits, they all point towards the Light.

I have maintained my calm even if I do not understand all things. I have accepted things for how they should be. I have to be content in patiently waiting for the beautiful promises of the Lord. I know the Lord remains faithful to those who surrender to Him and walk in obedience to His ways.

As I end this article, I just want to share that indeed, God has mysterious ways in changing your mindset about a lot of things. Negative things can really replace the good memories, the good times, the good qualities you have if you will allow them to. God cannot allow it even if you persist to think things that way. The way that He gave me hope is the assurance that things right now are never final, they are only temporary in contrast to what is to come.

I woke up today feeling still very sleepy. My husband asked me if we are ready to pray and I just nodded half awake, half asleep. Through the sleepiness in me, there was one word, just one word that woke up my spirit in full blast through his prayer – REFLECT. I never prayed about the coming Lenten Season. Here is my husband though praying about it and how we should spend it together – REFLECT.

This is the perfect word on how we all should commemorate what Jesus did on the Cross for us -an act of SURRENDER, to surrender out of His Father’s and His love for us. It is this love that is keeping this marriage together, it is this love that is changing me and my spouse as a person, and it is this love that is changing our lives every single day.

It is by God’s love that I have been saved, that my husband will be saved including our families and loving another person through a marriage is where God wants us to learn the basics of what love is. When God’s love is in our hearts completely, we can say with utmost boldness that nothing can ever compare to God’s love and who God really is.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

God knows that 2016 will be full of trials that’s why God reminded me of that at the start of the year. The character trait for this year in my planner and what I will be needing most is this: COURAGE.

This is the courage to be bold in defying the challenges, courage to seek the Light amid the darkness, courage to stand true to my faith whatever the odds and the courage to proclaim my faith all the more despite my imperfections and setbacks. 🙂

I Had To

Posted on March 19, 2016 by Christine Lailani

I have to protect my rights as a wife and my children’s rights from being verbally and physically abused…

I have to defend myself, my faith and my rights as a woman from persecution…

I have to ensure me and my children will have a life of peace…

I have to remember I also have a life outside being a wife…

I HAVE TO…

But I HAD TO…

I had to remember these verses:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, watching the evil and the good.” Proverbs 15: 1-3

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” 1 Peter 3:1-2

“However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them. For I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent me, not to do my own will.” John 6:37

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

Yes, I had to. I had to accept, repent and turn back from my selfish ways and I had to accept trials and challenges for it is how I will carry my own cross.

Because I had to do the will of God, not mine, if indeed I consider myself a follower of Christ – Christine.

Reassessing Self

Posted on March 12, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Nope, please do not get me wrong. I am not self-centered but I decided to share my own experiences in order to not judge anyone’s character but if I did share something that is not from my own character, please do understand that it is in the hopes of making us understand better that we are all a work in progress. What I do hope to share with my readers is a bunch of experiences and lessons I have learned which they could learn from as well.

Experience is the best teacher, as they say. It is application that measures how much of the theories you have learned have you applied AND have applied successfully through a test. If you have never gone through any form of trial or test in life, then there’s no way that you can assess how far of the theories you have indeed learned. So take heart my dear friends when trials of all sort come to you. For it is the final assessment in molding your character and in preparing us for the final journey with our Savior, Jesus Christ. 🙂

So why the title for this post?

I would like to highlight yesterday’s event. My Facebook profile right now seems like I am going through the darkest moments and friends have been asking why and been praying for me. It all started when I browsed my news feed and status updates that contain “dark moments” came popping up one by one. And I thought, all these dark moments that my friends are going through, you piece them all together, that is what I am going through now – career, marriage and health.

When you are in darkness, yes, one emotion that you will feel is anxiety. And I praise God I have in my list of Facebook Friends Christian friends, devoted ones, who never fail each and every single day to post a bible verse/spiritual quotation which will remind you of who you are in Christ – an overcomer saved by the blood of Christ. Indeed, God planned it well that we are to uplift one another in times of peril through faith and Jesus. 🙂

This is what I read from one friend’s post:

Prayer Over Anxiety

“Heavenly Father, we pray for all those suffering from anxiety. In the midst of their fear, give them your peace. When they feel alone, surround them with your presence. Strengthen them and give them grace to get through today and every day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.” – Circle of Prayer

Indeed, when you start to worry, you start to trust less and then it makes you hopeless. Enemy’s schemes, right? Yes, they are. For that is what the enemy is very good at – deception and lies. Making you believe that you are weak and you have no capability in overcoming a situation. And yet, if you have been born again, you know that that is not true. Self pity will only make you feel more worthless.

God, on the other hand, is the one who counterbalances that. God is always fighting for us. We may not realize it but He is. The fact that you wake up each day, unharmed, alive, forgetful of the past, that is what we call the Grace of God.

In my previous posts I have shared about the condition of my health and I am sure everyone is asking, “How was the check up?” Unfortunately, circumstances came that I wasn’t able to have a medical checkup in the week that I have planned to have it – I take it as not yet God’s time and will have to wait for the right one. I stopped taking birth control pills though and so far it alleviated my migraines. When I completely read the prescription of the pills, it is indeed one of the most common side effects. Good for me, I stopped taking them.

And yet, I was “unsafe.” Now my husband and I are contemplating about the possibility that I might be pregnant. Something that we are not yet prepared for considering that I do not have a job, though I could get one any time I want but because I need to concentrate on my exam and my masteral thesis, I had to accept the idea of being jobless for now. I jokingly told my husband, “Honey, if indeed I am pregnant, the baby will be born in my birth month too, December. And yes, he/she will be like Jesus, born in a manger, the modern counterpart would be at home via a midwife or maybe in a taxi or somewhere else except for the hospital for we are not financially ready.” But, no need to worry if it is God’s will. For if it is, then God has already prepared everything beforehand. I always trust Him that He will not give you something that you cannot handle. 🙂

Regarding my exam, I have short term memory retention. Thus reviewing a couple of months before will be useless because a week after, I sure have forgotten everything I have reviewed. I am starting to review just a couple of days ago and many may call it as “cramming” but that is just the way I review in every exam. The exam is in a matter of 8 days. Prayers, review materials, more prayers and letting God take control of it are what is occupying my mindset now. Again, no need to worry. For if I did my part well and if it is God’s will, then I will pass the exam. 🙂

Yes, it is easy for me to trust God in those areas of my life. But then again, if we haven’t loved yet as how God has loved us, then we haven’t experienced the optimum when it comes to faith. And the best way to experience and express God’s love at its best and learn it first is being in a Holy Matrimony – loving someone who is completely a different individual than yourself and living with that person under one roof every single day.

“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.” – 1 Corinthians 13:2

Relationships are my waterloo. I have failed miserably in the past when it comes to that. And these are relationships in general, not just between a couple. But right now, as I am in a season of being married, this is where my faith is being tested the most for now.

I do trust God in my exams, in my health, etc. and yet focusing on them would mean balancing my time between being a wife, a housewife and being a teacher and a student. All these roles carry with them very big responsibilities and duties. Sometimes they can be overwhelmingly burdensome.

I may have not oftentimes showed my distress but it does reflect in my words and sometimes in my actions towards my spouse. And the very recent was when he decided by himself to drive for his mom and relatives during a family reunion. He texted that it doesn’t matter if I choose to go or not for he will still go. We are experiencing “tight” moments at home and him texting me that just made me thought like, “Whatever happened to your promise that whatever happens, you will always be with me.” I thought I needed him most now and why didn’t it cross his mind.

I started thinking about my needs, myself and I thought how could my husband be so selfish and think about having a good time when he will be leaving his wife doing all the household chores, tired and stressed from reviewing then had to make all the necessary planning for what is to come, etc. He explained that he needed a relaxation. Indeed, when selfishness and pride creep in, it is easier to get bitter and angry than be patient and understanding and the next thing I knew my husband and I were furious about one another and having another argument. And this now made me realize something about myself: “Tin, the Spirit is not in you yet.” For it is said that the fruits of the Spirit is joy, love, peace, gentleness, selflessness, etc. I obviously do not have those. And this made me cry.

I had to battle with my inner self that I am already a new creation when I got saved through the Name of Jesus and through the Cross. I should understand better. If I want to be gentle, patient and understanding, etc., then all I have to do is think about the Cross and what God did for me even though I was in my most sinful self – He wholeheartedly accepted me for who I was, not furious, not impatient, not insisting His way and yet lovingly gave me a chance to change. This is now my opportunity so I need not waste it away just because the enemy is using my emotions. Indeed, heavy were the emotions of anger, rage and bitterness. Every emotional burden I am carrying came all loose. I was crying most of the time yesterday and I thought hopefully this will not trigger another depression which almost took my life before I got saved 3 years ago.

I was crying when once again, I was reminded by the prayer regarding anxiety. I had to combat the enemy making me feel that I am alone, that I am hopeless, and that there is no solution for every burden I am carrying. In between sobs I can only utter one word, “Father…Father…” All the rest that I wanted to pray and say, they were all drowned by tears. And then positive thoughts started pouring in. My husband needed that break. He has been having a stressful week at work, he deserves to have a time of relaxation and enjoyment. If I love him, then I have to sacrifice my needs for his needs. That is what love is all about. That is what God did and what Jesus did on the Cross – sacrificing.

But of course I thought, what about his promise that he will never leave me whatever happens. And I thought this is yet another of the enemy’s schemes to make me hate my husband more for not fulfilling his promise. And this is what the Lord has for that, “put your hopes not in the things around you but in God and God alone. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.” Lesson? I should never put my hopes in my husband. Why? Because my husband is only human and he is not perfect like me. He will make mistakes and he will not meet what I have expected. He might even be doing things now that are contrary to what we have agreed upon or be even committing the same mistakes/sins he did before.

There was one time that out of anger my husband told me that he doesn’t want to go to church and he is only accompanying me just to please me. I almost uttered that he doesn’t have to go to church with me. But then I thought that that was the goal in the first place of discipleship – to bring those who doesn’t know God closer to Him through the spiritual family. I did tell him gently that it is okay if he doesn’t feel like going to church.

But came the unexpected because in the Sundays that followed, he still includes going to church as part of his itinerary and would constantly remind me while I am preparing if we are about to be late for church. He still would lead in praying before he leaves for work. But there also came a point wherein he blamed God for every conflict that we are going through as a couple and how much he hated Him followed by curses. That was one of our bigger fights. Yes, the enemy is always lurking in the corner waiting for the right opportunity to act on his plans. Indeed, anger will only lead us to committing more sins and suppressing it will help us in so many ways and will defeat the enemy’s purpose to destroy and kill. In this case, acceptance of mistakes and forgiveness are the best solutions to fight the enemy.

It is not for me to judge my husband’s faith and personal relationship with God. It is only God who knows the deepest intentions and conditions of our hearts. My husband knows how much my faith means to me and when we are having a fight or a disagreement, he would mock my faith to offend me more and to retaliate whenever I would commit a simple mistake. He would accuse God of wrong decisions made, that if there is a God then he wouldn’t be experiencing all of the trials in the past and the trials now – the enemy is in him, is in us. That is what is making both of us sin and anger is what the enemy is using to control us. But they say, hate the sin but love the person for this is what God’s love means and this is His second greatest commandment – love others as I have loved you. God’s love was through His one and only Son, Jesus Christ.

I can only pray though that God will live in his heart and lead it. I can only pray and look forward to that change. And I pray the same for myself, that I will not go back to who I was even if the enemy will use my husband against me. So that my husband can see the works of Christ in me, how to rightfully respond in situations that are seemingly offensive to the self and to the faith and with persecutions and he’ll be inspired to follow suit and surrender himself to God’s Grace.

Being a perfectionist, I have this knack for the good, the perfect and the pleasing and that includes good manners, speech and behavior because that was the values system that my parents and my family have brought me up with. As much as I want to correct my husband’s behavior, it is not for me to change him – I, too, have my own flaws. As the bible says, “why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye and not notice the log in your own.” I can only show him what is right through my actions, something that is so hard to do though. For it was also written in the bible, “do not associate yourself with hot-tempered people for you will become like them and endanger your soul.” But I am here in this situation now and maybe this is also the test that I have to go through to become the person that God wanted me to be through tests of self-control, discipline, patience and endurance.

I felt during these moments that I am being surrounded by so many powerful demons. My heart was very heavy with all sort of negativity – pure thoughts were nowhere to be found in my head. I began to worry, I began to doubt, I began to lose trust, to lose hope even on my faith. Yes, there was a battle and I wrestled and I thought I can only seek for God’s help. And I only needed to cry out His name and He will save me from these. For He is the only one who sees and knows everything. Prayer is my only weapon to defend my faith.

THEN there was peace, there was calm. I slept yesterday afternoon and took a time off from my review and I opted not to text my husband and have him enjoy his relaxation time with his family even if it would mean that the enemy could possibly once again use his family to tempt him or be the avenue for him to get tempted to do what he should not ought to do i.e. drunkenness, lust, etc. or be in a bar somewhere in the wee hours of the morning or checking in at a massage spa that is unusually open from midnight ’til dawn, etc. and etc.

I can only pray for them as well and let God change their hearts too. Yes, demons are indeed real as Pastor Joey, one of our pastors in church, said in one of his blog posts. But as my Dad says, God can never allow for a sin or a bad agenda by a demon to continue on and on and on. God will expose it and will do the necessary actions if a reprimand is needed. My Mom once told me, “I have no worries when your Dad will not be with me for how many days or weeks to attend a seminar or even if it is just hanging out with his peers because I trust him and I know that he will never do anything to compromise our marriage.” I asked her, “But Mommy, what if you got married to someone who has a bad past and still continues to commit some bad things every now and then, what would you do?” She was silent for a moment. Then told me this answer, “Then you should’ve married a pastor. But you chose him then you should love all of him even at his worst. Because that is him.” Okay, now I don’t have an answer/follow up question for that. I actually know the answer, it’s just that I have to keep myself reminded of it. 🙂

That as a couple we should give an allowance to each other for mistakes even if those mistakes were repeatedly made because nobody is perfect. And that change and adjustment do not happen overnight. Be ready to forgive and forgive if apologies take place. Yes, I had the option to choose what my Mom formerly said but I chose differently. Circumstances didn’t end up for me that way. My brother told me that if I prayed for that decision, which I did, and God gave me the answer to push through with my decision, then it is God’s will.

I was exhausted yesterday and yet I was relieved. Though there was no visible assurances of a solution, I felt at peace. It is a good thing my phone’s wallpaper was the Lord’s Prayer. I have had it for a long time already and I am not planning on changing it. For I know there is a reason why it had to be my phone’s wallpaper.

I prayed to God last night for protection, for healing, for guidance, for purity and strength to withstand every battle, every attack, every assault on my faith. And lastly, I prayed for courage to face the enemy. The next thing I did was I looked at the Lord’s Prayer then I started mumbling it. It came first as a whisper and then I am uttering it out loud over and over again. Then a thought came into me, I have in my possession an anointing oil from Jerusalem which was a gift last year from my parents-in-law. You can read more about it here: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2015/09/24/the-anointing-oil-and-more-memories/.

I went down to get it and started making Cross signs all over the house with the anointing oil and over my forehead and my heart while uttering the Lord’s Prayer. I really have no idea how the anointing oil should be used as I believe a prayer sincerely prayed and your faith are enough to cast out a demon. But if this anointing oil has been blessed and prayed over by spiritual leaders from the Promise Land or from any parts of the world, then my faith and theirs combined will be powerful enough to cast an also powerful demon/demons out along with the prayers. Because demons are real and if they are invading this house, my marriage, my thoughts and my heart, then I need to cast them out and seek for protection through a prayer and the sign of the Cross. And the best prayer for it is the Lord’s Prayer. For if there is one person who was tested by the devil the most, that would be Jesus. And yet if there is one person who was able to resist all of the enemy’s temptations, that is also Jesus. He was the only one who conquered death.

This happened around midnight and because I couldn’t sleep, I was restless and I keep on getting up. I have been experiencing severe back pains in my shoulder too which makes my breathing difficult. But praise God, for the moment I laid down in bed after the Lord’s Prayer and the signs of the Cross with the anointing oil and closed my eyes, I was off to heaven. Nah, I am kidding. I was just off to sweet dreamland. *wide smile* It was a very restful night that was granted to me. I woke up greeted by the warm sun through the window curtains and I automatically sat down and prayed a prayer of gratitude.

Last night though, after I finished my last Lord’s Prayer before sleeping, I felt my throat so dry I had to cough it out and our neighbor’s dog yelped suddenly as if someone kicked him and I heard nobody i.e. footsteps, etc. Hmmm, must be them. But, it doesn’t matter for the sound sleep is what mattered and a heart realigned with the Lord’s. If they do come back then I should better be prepared. 🙂

Today was very different from yesterday’s. I am still alone for my husband is staying for 3 days with his family and yet I am at peace with that, there is security. I was able to do all the tasks I had to finish, although some are still ongoing. Today is bliss. And if I will reassess myself, I may have failed miserably in behaving with a Christlike attitude in some situations, I am still glad that I was given by God the opportunity to still learn from these experiences, repent and improve myself. I can say that yes, I have withstood yet another battle defending my faith – still alive, still breathing, faith still intact. And yes, when it comes to defending your faith, it is a day-to-day lifetime walk of constant reaffirmation, a decision that you can never ever turn your back on once made – crucial and yet beneficial. 🙂

To end this, let me share one quotation by Og Mandino that I came across my reviewer (God planned I come across it in His perfect time) which will summarize this article:

Darkness makes you see the small tinges of light such as the stars making you want to seek that light even more and appreciate any single tiny bit of light you see. Light is all about hope and darkness just makes the light seem even brighter. ❤

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

A More Appreciative 2016

Posted on January 21, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Ahhh, yes. FINALLY. 🙂

It feels good to be back posting my thoughts in this special place I call “blog.” It’s been a month since I last posted as I’ve promised myself to keep the holidays as solemn as possible – an opportunity to spend quality time with me and my husband’s families and loved ones which equates to less social media interaction and doing the actual interaction with people. Yes, I still believe forging stronger relationships can only be done through meaningful conversations, moments of laughter, of just sitting there, reminiscing and just being with people you love.

Honestly and personally, the beginning of this year didn’t start well for me and my family. An incident during the New Year’s eve wherein my niece had a bad fall while we were using sparklers and a disagreement with my hubby made me tell him that this was the first New Year’s eve that didn’t go right and as happy or perfect. I thought of it as a sign or a meaning that is not just what the circumstances obviously portray.

I was too fearful back then and it was this fear that held back my freedom to try enjoyable and good things. But since I got saved, I channeled these fears of mine through prayers and relied on to God for courage. And what I will share are more like God’s answers in a visible way – a way in which we, humans, can relate. Although faith is the assurance of something that we do not see, and yet God also makes us feel His presence in ways that we can relate.

The first of these was a very visible sign – a rainbow. I know as a kid what rainbows meant, they appear after a storm. When I was in high school, Science have taught me how rainbows were created, it’s called prism. But it is God who taught me now what they really are for – to give hope. When my husband and I went to my hometown in Bicol which was struck by the typhoon Nona, the worst that was listed in the history of the town, we saw the devastation it brought upon my townspeople.

As our bus was getting nearer our hometown, I struggled to hold back the tears as I felt a piercing in my heart from what I saw – every house that we passed by was destroyed, completely roofless or blown away, electricity lines were all down, and the once luscious greenery was now leafless, brown and lifeless. I so felt the heaviness inside my heart that if given a private moment at that time, I want to drop down on my knees and weep. I know I have every right to ask God “why?” but I know God has a good reason for everything and I just have to continue seeing the good in every situation. Thus, I prayed silently in my heart – that God would give us hope.

We arrived home and was glad that my parents and my sister were safe and was extremely grateful that not one of our properties near our home was destroyed – not even our tree house! Which really was, for me, a miracle. It also survived super typhoon Yolanda in 2013.

Though it lifted my spirits up, I cannot stop thinking about those who will celebrate the holidays without shelter, without clean clothes, without electricity, food and jobs.

It was still early in the morning so my husband and I took the opportunity to go out the balcony at the second floor of our house which faces the rice fields and some houses. Lo and behold, our arrival was greeted by a rainbow in its full spectrum – colors as complete and as bold as they are from one end to the other. This was the first rainbow appearance that I have gazed in my entire life that is so complete. Both my husband and I were amazed, so he decided to capture the moment.

Since that day, we often see rainbows, sometimes two rainbows at the same time even. And my husband and I would just gaze up with a smile. Until came the day for us to leave my hometown. It was my sister’s birthday and to our surprise, an electrician came up to our house and informed us that they are now reinstalling electricity. Wow! We weren’t expecting it to be that soon as reports said it will take about 4-6 months to put up electric posts and lines. We teased my sister that she got the best birthday gift ever from God – electricity. 😀

And on that same day, as my husband and I boarded the bus and we were slowly leaving the town, I saw yet another rainbow in its full spectrum. As close as before even though we were in a moving vehicle. I tugged my husband’s arm and pointed the rainbow to him, that’s when I realized what God meant by rainbows. The power lines and electricity being restored were just a few of the many promises that God will fulfill and the rainbow was His sign of that promise. 🙂

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The second was during the Prayer and Fasting. My hubby and I were having disagreements about future goals that it came to the point wherein emotions were escalating. I went ahead and grabbed a stick note that belonged to my sister to better illustrate my point and started flipping its pages to find a new one when out fell a very old piece of paper. I could tell by the corners of it turned yellow by old age. I was still explaining while picking up this paper until something caught my eyes. The paper was a very old calling card and the most interesting thing about it was the name printed on that calling card, the name of a clinic – God’s Way Diagnostic Center. It looked too old that I was not even sure if the clinic still exists. 🙂

I have long given up the notion that everything happens coincidentally. Nothing happens by chance, perhaps by choice and yet there is this idea of the Grand Plan – God’s will. So I stopped talking, my husband also followed suit. I looked closely at the calling card and scrutinized every detail in it. I laughed. I smiled. My mood changed and here I was just savoring everything that was there in the calling card. Take note of what I have discovered: “God’s Way,” “man,” “United Nations,” Noe Lordan,” and “Sure ka dito.”

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I interpreted God’s message as this, if my husband and I continue to insist what we both wanted which is different from one another, we will be disappointed, we will be furious, we will have a fight and there will be no peace. BUT if we choose God’s way, then man will be united through the Lord and we will be sure of it.

I shared this to my husband, and we both agreed – God will give us the wisdom and will guide us in making the right decision in His time and at the right place. We have decided then to just include what we were disagreeing about in our Prayer and Fasting, which are now among our faith goals and settled the matter in peace. 🙂

Last but not the least is the color “orange.” Yes, I am supposed to write this article 2nd week of January but I haven’t felt the urge to do so. And now I realized why. My sharing of testimony/revelations won’t be complete as some of them will take place just the 2nd week of January. Yes, everything in God’s time indeed. 🙂

So what about orange? Well, during the holidays I have received gifts from my loved ones and not that I am materialistic but because I am a keen observer, I was able to piece everything together. Or maybe God intended I find it out. I used to own a pen from my brother’s wedding, a green one. Somebody borrowed it and forgot to return it. I loved the pen so I asked my brother if he has spare ones. He said yes and circumstances aligned in a way that the only free time he can give it to me was over the holidays. So I got hold of the pen during the holidays and he asked me to choose from 3 colors – orange, green and blue. Blue is my favorite color, but this time, the orange pen attracted me in such a way that I chose it over the blue one. There were only two left of that color.

Then, when I opened my brother and sister-in-law’s gift to me, it was my favorite Paulo Coelho planner. Now this planner also has a very meaningful part in my spiritual journey as a Christian. And maybe that is the reason why for 3 consecutive Christmases now, I have been receiving this planner from my brother. To which I am very grateful. Nothing is ever meaningful than to write over something that God has meant for you to write on. And guess what the dominant color is in the abstract design of the cover? It is orange. 🙂

I still wasn’t amazed by the orange thing until I remembered our Prayer and Fasting manuals, the dominant color is orange amid the black and yellow. So now…..I am beginning to wonder. There is no coincidence with God, right? 🙂

I thought, there is something that God wanted me to find out with this orange thing. I shared this to my husband and told him, I still can’t decipher what this orange means but I know God wanted to tell me something or He wanted me to know something. This was 1st week of January. We finished the Prayer and Fasting already and yet no clear answers.

Then 2nd week of January came. My sister from Norway arrived and she brought with her gifts from her travel to Prague in Czech Republic. She made my husband and I choose between gold and bronze key chains with the engraved names of Praha and Ceska Republika. My husband chose the gold one and I happily settled with the bronze key chain. And while I was taking a macro shot of it, I noticed that bronze has a similar color to orange like tangerine. Except that it is darker. SO the orange thing was there again even from far, far away like Prague. 😉

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Now I believe God has intended I come to the conclusion of my findings. Something within me spurred the thought that I forgot to read all my devotion in Our Daily Bread since December 20 until December 31 so I did my backlogs. And voila, here’s the finding. In the December 25 devotion, the title is “Christingle.” It’s just like my name Christine, without the “g” and the “l.” Well, the reason why my Mom named me Christine was because I was born on December 22, Christmas time. 😉

Christingle

AND here’s what I found out about Christingle. Do read along the devotion in the picture and be amazed. 🙂

Here’s a definition of the color orange as well:

Orange is the colour between red and yellow on the spectrum of light, and in the traditional colour wheel used by painters. Its name is derived from the fruit orange.

In Europe and America orange is commonly associated with amusement, the unconventional, extroverts, warmth, fire, energy, activity, danger, taste and aroma, the autumn season, and Protestantism. In Asia it is an important symbolic colour of Buddhism andHinduism.^{[1] – Wikipedia}

In other sources, orange also means joy and creativity. I was just fascinated to find out one of the meanings of “orange” in the Wikipedia definition which is Protestantism – the religion I grew up with as a child through my grandmother, the daughter of one of the pioneers of the Protestant church in our hometown.

My grandmother is for me the epitome of a woman of faith. No other woman have I encountered who has as much devotion in faith as she has through the 91 years of her life. We were able to visit her during the holidays and when I saw her, tears came running down my cheeks as I hugged her. She was bedridden from a bad fall and yet we can feel that her spirit is strong. There came a moment when she told us that she is already tired and she does not want us to live as long as she did. But my eldest sister assured her that God still has a purpose why she has to live that long. My only prayer to God for my grandmother is that she will have the peace in her heart that her family will always be guided by God and that her prayers were never unanswered. 🙂

So now I would like to end this article with the question from the theme of our Prayer and Fasting this year:

“Would you dare to believe?” 🙂

And also with this official soundtrack from the movie Prince of Egypt which I know has something to do with me planning to name our first baby boy with Zaphen, from Joseph’s Egyptian name Zaphenath Paneah. 😉

Though Whitney Houston died a tragic death, this song will always remind me of my memory of her and what this song aims to instill in our hearts – how to believe and have faith even with the impossible.

And it has now become my tradition to include a prayer in the very first article that I will write for the new year here in my blog. Please pray this prayer with me my dear brothers and sisters:

“Dear Father,

Though we do not see the future and though fear may start to creep in our hearts for the many trials and challenges, the “giants” that will come our way, we pray that You give us the courage and the strength to overcome them all. Please guide and protect us as we continue to tread along the journey that you have set out for us to accomplish.

We are rest assured that You are and will be with us in all that we will go through. We claim that in the name of Your Son, Jesus, we will will not just be conquerors but we will be game-changers and leaders in spreading Your Word and Your Love.

Thank you for the many things and the many ways that You have assured us of the Grace, the Love and the Hope. We will continue to seek for Your Name and we will give You all the glory and honor that You deserve.

Please teach us how to be more appreciative of the things that we have through what You have given, to be joyful despite the storms and may You continue to be our source of Light despite the darkness around us.

We send this prayer from our hearts with all our love and through the mighty name of Your Son, Jesus,

Amen.”

Let’s have a more appreciative 2016, everyone! 🙂 ❤

Finding Your Niche: What Does God Want You To Do?

Posted on November 7, 2015 by Christine Lailani

Photo credit: www.survivingaftercollege.com

Photo credit: http://www.survivingaftercollege.com

I have often asked myself that question before I got saved. Like a thousand times over. And they soon lessened bit by bit when I devoted much of my time reading the bible and in praying. Soon after, answers were given, not all at the same time. Some were shown right away, some remained as silent as they are. But one thing is clear – there is a mission.

As I was reading more of the bible every single day, I realized that there is one common mission for all – to spread the Word. Same way as Jesus did when He was sent in this world. It is just a matter of choosing in what manner did God call you to spread the Word.

What I will be writing, as with everything I have put here in this blog, are all personal opinions. Anyone is free to contest or agree. But I am hoping it’ll strike somehow a new perspective in each and everyone of us.

As of right now, we all have certain roles that we are currently fulfilling – a daughter, student, employee, boss, etc. Those that were preset so to speak – roles that do not come from our own choices. We didn’t choose to be born a daughter or a son, nor when we got hired, nor was it our choice to go to nursery school as soon as we learn how to read or when we got promoted, etc. But there are those that require a major decision making, a point of seeking. And that includes our mission, our purpose – one that deals with a lot of contemplating before finally making a choice. I am sure more or less we wonder or there is that moment in your life you asked yourself, “What am I living for?”

How do you find out what and where does God want you to share His Word?

In my case, it is in my interests. Tapping the things that I find joy doing is where I found God’s mission for me. We cannot say however that that is where everyone will find their mission too. There are those who found it in their line of work, in school, at home or overseas. It could be anything and anywhere actually. But one thing’s for sure, it is from somewhere and something that your heart is closely attached to, something that gives you fire and passion. For it is the heart that God is after in us, not our background, what we have or have accomplished.

Contemplating usually leads to knowing your deeper sense of self. It gives you that moment of looking and searching the very depths of your soul, of who you are. But a word of caution should be taken here – our selves can be one avenue where the enemy can trap us with deception and lies such as making us feel worthless, brooding on self pity, feeling inadequate, insecure, and a whole lot of negative perceptions that can hamper the good image that God wanted us to have with ourselves.

When I got saved, it wasn’t just a spiritual reawakening for me but more about rediscovering myself in the light. Something that I am unaware all these years – of things that have lain dormant. Only when the Spirit’s tapped your inner being can you claim that God has magnificently and uniquely created you not just as an individual but as His daughter/son.

When we seek God’s purpose and mission for our lives, He will give us everything that we need to prepare us for that mission. Opportunities will be given and circumstances will work in a way that we know only God can do and is capable of.

But my greatest advice is this:

Never compare yourself to others, what others do and what they have accomplished. You will never get the chance to know yourself more if you are busy knowing the lives of others and trying to live the lives they live. Do not say “I want to be like that too.” Instead pray and say, “God, how do you want to use me?”

Keep in mind that God has something unique in store just for each and everyone of us. Same way that He has chosen a special partner in life just for you if it is His will you be married. We should always keep in our hearts that popularity and achievements are not included for it is not in God’s purpose for each and everyone of us to rely on them especially if it is not His name that is glorified in the process. As what the bible states,

But He gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.” – James 4:6

In all that we do, what we should foster is that of having a humble servitude. Do not think about what you will get in return from the service you have rendered but what good did others get from your service. Exactly like how Jesus Christ was able to complete His mission – serving the Lord God and the people of this world in HUMILITY.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up with honor.” – James 4:10

God knows we are weak. He knows we will be needing Him. What it takes to know God’s mission for us is to acknowledge boldly and courageously the fact that we are weak but will only be made strong through Him. When we are ready, there will be no stopping us, faith will have its voice in whatever medium it may be.

Do not fear failure, criticism, condemnation and suffering because of upholding to the mission appointed to us – the Cross will be our hope, peace and will be our guide. God never forsakes those who stood up to their faith until time will come to say our work is finished.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

Lastly, this is what “niche” means:

NICHE .noun.

– a shallow recess, especially one in a wall to display a statue or other ornament

Who are we displaying in our niches? 🙂

What’s In A Name and A Number

Posted on August 27, 2015 by Christine Lailani

What’s with numbers?

I was already prompted to list down this topic a few months back, 6/26 to be specific. But it stayed as a draft until now, 7/27.

I guess one reason was that I only have limited information to share about it at that time. But the Spirit knew that time will come, this article will be published in its due time and will bear more meaning, which is today.

If you will look closely at the time, yup, I had this revelation during my “creative waking hour.” That particular time starting 10 in the evening until midnight. If you have read my previous articles like this one – https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/the-promise-rings-2/, it’ll give you a bit of information already regarding the significance of numbers, including time, in the bible. But then, it was a bit vague for me before. But now, looking into the topic deeper made me understand things even better – an enlightenment yet again.

Which will bring us to this conclusion: God did not create Mathematics, numbers, formulas and figures for nothing. Yes, obviously they are what makes some innovations and technologies run in the present day such as the world wide web which is composed of a system or network that deals mostly with numbers.

BUT, a deviation from that is the idea or assumption that God also embedded numerical figures in the Scripture to also serve as “solutions” to “problems” to “make things work.” I know Mathematicians (like a brother in Christ of mine) will agree that the solution to a Mathematical problem is through formulas/computations to arrive to a CLEAR and DEFINITE answer. 🙂

I interpret it in the bible as decoding the numerical symbols. Take note, I now used the word “symbol” which is also similar to “signs” and “codes.” But no, this is not an adaptation from Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. I am just sharing a wisdom that was passed on to me and it was out of my passion to seek for Godly wisdom that I believe led me to knowing more about the biblical significance of numbers – through the guidance of the Spirit of course. Reading this article might lead you too in studying more about the Scripture and the numbers and be enlightened, amazed and feel more connected to God. I cannot tell exactly if that is how you will be receiving the information as I believe each of one of us was called by the Spirit to learn and interpret things differently. What matters is how POSITIVE the learning experience was for you.

If it led you to disillusionment or posed more doubts and negative questions, then possibly you need more of the Spirit’s guidance in interpreting what was given or shown to you – through a prayer. Seek for guidance and discernment as doubts will be the enemy’s weapon to use his most powerful way to trap you under his wing – deception and lies. Seek for the TRUTH. Pray it aloud, say it aloud to God, He will and He will lead you.

But if it led you to a positive response such as enlightenment, amazed, a clearer understanding of everything, a process of piecing one puzzle after the other leading to near completion, and a better appreciation of God’s Word, then it is by all means, a guided learning from the Spirit. Say a prayer of gratitude when this happens for wisdom doesn’t have a price tag, especially if they came from God. That is how precious it is and that is also why we should guard it at all costs by not allowing the enemy to use it against us through prayers. He did use it against Jesus but Jesus is the TRUTH and nothing can stand against the TRUTH. For He is the ONLY way and the LIGHT which is stronger than darkness.

As this article tells us that,

So let the fun “decoding” begin. 😉

Let me start by sharing the numbers that are usually attached to significant events that happened to me personally. These realizations came flooding in like one big bright light eureka moment just last night. Amazing, it is. 😀

2002-58885 (This is my student number or ID number in college where I am now completing my graduate study. We refer to this as our “life line” in UP Diliman as you will use it and you will be identified through it more often than you use your name in your entire stay in the university. Believe me, this is how the students connect with each other especially when it comes to “batches” and other interests come after this.)
8/8/2008 (This was my first job wherein I was able to the help the deaf and mute community by relaying their messages to bank representatives, restaurants, personal calls to families and relatives, etc. and allowed me an opportunity to save money and buy this laptop I am now using and my dslr – both are serving their purposes in fulfilling the mission God appointed to me.)
96 (This is my favorite pair of numbers as it stands for my first name which is Christine and my surname which is Ginete.
3/3/13 (This was the day of my salvation, the day that I was born again.)
8/17 (The very recent significant numbers, which is the date of my civil wedding.)

If you will notice, I never selected these numbers. Not even our civil wedding date (I will share more a bit later). Yes, it was predicted already even before the world begun. I think I know what you are thinking. 🙂

For starters, what’s the significance of my student number 2002-58885? Let’s remove 2002 and focus on 58885. In the bible, the number 5 represents “power and Divine grace.”

The number 8 symbolizes the number of salvation. And the “gematria of the name Jesus in Greek is 888: a trinity of eights, the fullness of salvation!”

To interpret my student number it will be this: Grace + Jesus Christ + Grace. 🙂

8/8/2008 was the year that I was hired at my first job, which originally operates after a good cause – that of helping the deaf and mute community in the US. I loved this job, the mission, my workmates, the financial benefits and this is the reason why I decided to pursue a graduate study in Special Education wherein providing assistance to the deaf and mute community is among the areas that this specialization covers. But God intended I leave the company, much to my regret, but it gave me the opportunity to pursue my graduate study full time.

Again, trinity of eights which represents the name of Jesus. Of course there is 2 or 20 but I know that this date is somehow special to me. Again, it is not a coincidence I got hired on this date. 🙂

96 is a pair of two numbers that represents the letters of my first and my last name. Thus, they became my favorite pair of numbers. Little did I know that it has a biblical significance. 9 is related to the number six as stated in the article below:

“It is significant of the end of man and the sum of all man’s works. Nine is therefore the number of finality or judgment.”

3/3/13 was the day of my salvation at the age of 27. According to the article below, 3 is the number of perfect completion for the Jews and it symbolizes the perfection of the Godhead – the Most Holy Trinity. More of this can also be found in this article:

8/17/15 was our civil wedding day. Yes, this is the newest entry in the revelations I’ve had pertaining to numbers. We actually didn’t plan this date as true enough to what our spiritual mentors told us, an engaged couple will be tested all the more as the engagement period gets longer. Two days prior to my claiming our Marriage License, there came a conflict that almost made us cancel the wedding. Indeed, the longer the engagement period becomes, the more that the enemy will get stronger in attempting to make the relationship fail so it wouldn’t end up in a marriage.

We only have two reasons why we pushed through with our civil wedding: loved ones from our families cannot come on the date that we have decided to have our church wedding this year and we were advised not to have a long engagement period.

And of course, since it is a special moment for me and it happened, I sought for the spiritual significance of the numbers. I am already familiar with the number 8 but I am not sure with 17. So I decided to search for it and it is through this need to learn about it that this article came into completion and I was able to slowly connect one dot from the other and put one piece of the puzzle after the other.

What was even amazing is that the combination of the numbers 7 and 8 “has a remarkable connection.”

And that the number 17 “symbolizes overcoming the enemy and complete victory.”

Therefore 8/17 means salvation/resurrection/new birth and overcoming the enemy/complete victory.

And here’s more…

We did not even predict that this will be our wedding day. And yet, when I checked my website out of the blue, I received a notification that my site statistics shoot up on this day. So out of curiosity, I checked it out. And here are my findings:

It is amazing how these numbers fell on the list: 8, 40, 7, 2, 33, 36, 5 which all are significant numbers in the Scripture. Which made me contemplate, were these 8 persons who viewed my page can be called as “angels?” 😀

What amazed me too is staring at this part of the statistics with mouth agape the following day:

I interpreted it as Holy Thursday or Thursday of Mysteries to some and there goes the 3:00 AM time frame. And guess what day is today? 🙂

What about the names?

I have previously contemplated and made an article on this or have mentioned this in my previous articles like my name Christine which means “a follower of Christ” and I ended up being married to a Joseph which I firmly believe as God’s will. And just a random thought came up how many months back that if ever I bear him a son for our firstborn, I will name him Zaphen which is short for the Egyptian name of Joseph, Zaphenath Paneah, meaning “ruler of nations.”

I mentioned in a previous article too regarding my husband’s Dad who has coworkers whose names are Job and Revelation. I have read the book of Job but I haven’t read the entire book of Revelation.

So that’s what I read just recently and a lot of thoughts came in. All were assumptions and yet I know I cannot claim with utmost authority they will turn out to be true. Well, the human part of me tells me I just have a mind of a writer that is why my imagination goes as far as it can go given some certain information – piecing the puzzle together. But I know all will be revealed in God’s perfect time according to God’s perfect ways. 🙂

But do allow me to share what my findings are which I find sort of interesting and exciting but with a little bit of fear and uncertainty. Yet God never fails to assure us in this verse:

Hebrew 10:43 NLT

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.”

The book of Revelation is all about Jesus’ second coming. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you read it as I believe God is calling us to read it. 🙂

It was indicated in the book what will happen in that second coming. There was a mention of the Great Earthquake, thunder, the 144,000 chosen people who will be saved (which includes those from the tribe of Joseph), the 7 churches, the angels, the devil, and lastly the woman who is pregnant with a baby who will rule the world and Satan chases after her so he could snatch the baby away from her but God made sure the woman and the baby are well-protected.

Me and my husband do not plan to have a baby this year, but if God wills it, then I know there will be a baby. If I conceive this month or next month, I am due to deliver the baby by May or June 2016.

The number of the enemy/beast/Satan is 666 or 616. My graduation date from my Master’s degree in UP Diliman falls on 6/26/2016. If I indeed graduate, which I really am hoping will happen, it will be freedom from the long struggle that I have been through trying to finish it for about 5 and 1/2 years now.

I can’t help but wonder, is 6/6/16 or 6/16/16 or 6/26/16 or the days after that be the moment that the reign of the enemy will end – Jesus will come? But then, only God REALLY knows when. 🙂

But when Jesus arrives, I have the Spikenard perfume to anoint Him, like what Magdalena did. Kidding. *wink* Well, honestly, arriving to this made me smile so big that I thought, “Okay Tin, people might think you are now talking rubbish.” Well, I have a God who does a lot of mysteries you can’t help but just smile your biggest and your sweetest when you encounter one. 😀

Sometimes knowing things makes you a bit scared but for the whole part, there goes the enlightenment. Usually it is associated to the purpose that God has called you to fulfill which is your mission. And yet, you will also be reminded of the verse I shared before this. There really is nothing to be afraid of or that maybe things happen by chance. For I believe they all happen because of a purpose – that of fulfilling God’s plans.

Prior to the wedding, I was so busy with everything and yet I felt the urge to share stuff about my faith on this blog but because I was so tired, I always would skip it until the next day. Until a sure message from the Spirit finally pushed me to sharing this. I encountered this comment from a cousin of mine (Hi Nadja! *wink*) in one of the bible verses I posted on Facebook. And I know it is one of the “gentle tuggings” calling me to go back to my mission – share my faith through my blog.

Do you believe in miracles? Yes, I do. Because I believe in God and in Jesus Christ, of whom all the wonders and mysteries in this world were made possible through faith. It’s just that my mind is very limited to knowing and interpreting the entirety of God’s plans and schemes and how they work because I am only human and I am no God. 😉

To end this, I will just share this devotion I had in one of my bible study plans from my You Version bible app and just want to highlight what faith and patient endurance mean. For I know that is what God wants us to have in preparation for the Second Coming. I know that for believers, it will be so much rejoicing and celebration – a very happy one. 🙂

“Genesis 37:1–36

Rachel, Jacob’s favorite wife, bore only two children: Joseph and Benjamin. She died giving birth to Benjamin, at which time Jacob seemed to transfer all his affection for her to Joseph. His favoritism stoked intense jealousy among Joseph’s ten older brothers, and Joseph’s dreams that they would all bow down to him pushed them over the edge.

Even though Joseph’s life seemed to go in the opposite direction of his dreams, God was already working to fulfill those dreams. That’s often how God’s promises function in our lives: We trust in God, but then our circumstances contradict our faith. In the process, our faith is stretched, strengthened and eventually satisfied. Sometimes that process takes years—it certainly did for Joseph—but in the end faith and patient endurance are duly rewarded.”

And last but not the least, it also came perfectly in time that one of my best soul sisters shared to me this great movie on Facebook just a few days after all of these revelations. I highly encourage you to watch this – just the perfect ending perfect to cap off this article. 🙂

We Just Don’t Know

Posted on August 15, 2015 by Christine Lailani

I was in the middle of washing dishes when a thought moved me to a realization, moved me to tears that moved me to declare God’s Greatness.

And the only thing I could blurt was: “How could I be so negative about everything just because what has happened or what is happening are not what I have expected?”

I have learned that working abroad and leaving your family behind is not an option for every couple. I believe this is the reason why more emphasis on this is given nowadays to every young couple. And though I have learned this now, it somehow gave me an opportunity to regard couples who have already made this decision in a negative way thinking why they made that decision or why did God allow them to make that decision – which is wrong.

Because by doing so I was judging them unknowingly. It was only today that the Spirit led me to God’s answers. A gentle tugging of the heart that led to once and again and as always – humility.

My fiance grew up in this set up. I do not know how it was for him as he never shared anything to me about this and I don’t want to be the first to ask him. Guys never share emotional stuff on a regular basis compared to the ladies. 😉

But I did feel the lack that he feels. Especially when as a future husband now, we got to talk things about priorities and me wanting my children to grow up in a setup wherein both of us are physically present advising him that their parents’ case is different than ours. And I cannot tell if I hurt him in one of those conversations touching one deep wound or scar.

And yet this is where God proved to be so faithful in His promises. When I met my fiance, he did not fulfill the requirements that our church asks in choosing a Godly man for a partner. But like I shared previously, my fiance believes in God, goes to church but did not go thru the “legalities” of the church to be saved or like how I was saved.

I prayed to God about this in the Prayer and Fasting 2014. And when we became a couple, I have made my decision without a doubt. But little did I know that this little “technical issue” could be used by the enemy to deceive me with his lies.

And yet I also believed that God allowed it to happen so I could be tested. A lot of conflicts came to the point that I always tell him it is because he is not yet that devoted that is why we are having these conflicts. And yet God would always rebuke me to the point of utmost humility that it is actually I who have so little faith.

This verse was His reminder:

“Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.” – Galatians 2:16

Daily Devotion

And also this:

“Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” – Romans 14:1

Then I told my fiance once that as my future husband he will be the spiritual leader of our family – a concept that he had a hard time grasping as he didn’t know how because this was not the kind of family he came from.

And yet God was so faithful. For though my fiance’s Dad is so far away from them and he gets to visit the family for a short period of time once a year, God still made sure he will fulfill his role as the spiritual leader of his family.

Yes, no oceans are wide enough and no land is ever far enough for God’s love and His promises to be fulfilled, which was the realization that I had just now.

My fiance shared to me that two of his dad’s best coworkers were here in the Philippines for a visit and requested they all have dinner with them. He told me that these two are the ones that his Dad are closest with at work and gets to share a lot of things with. And what I heard next from my fiance came as a surprise to me:

“They told me and Buds that my Dad would always tell them that they reminded him of his sons back home as they are our age. But what made me cry is when they told us that our Dad would tell them everything about us and how hard it is to live without your family.”

And it was also this that I cried. For I believe those two work buddies were actually angels sent by God to accompany my fiance’s Dad all throughout the different seasons that he is in away from home. God honored the sacrifice and yet it could also be so that God’s plans will be completed. For it was also through them that my fiance’s Dad exemplified the role as the spiritual leader of his family. For he would request my fiance to download podcasts during church service and the movies that he selected that has something to do with faith. My fiance gets to hear those podcasts and gets to download the movies and he gets to watch it too.

One of those two buddies also happen to have a fiance who is a SpEd teacher in California. The same as the field I am specializing right now and most definitely will be my future career too. 🙂

You wouldn’t believe me, but I know you would just like I did when my fiance told me what were the names of the two best buddies of his Dad at work – Job and Revelation. 😉

I have long held on to the fact that nothing is ever a coincidence with God may it be good or bad in our own knowledge and interpretation. And I believe it is in this faith that God made me see how true He is in His promises. I read the book of Revelation and it all came as a promise of an assured hope.

I held on to my relationship with my fiance though times would come that we are sure we could not see the light anymore and we are sure that we are becoming totally exactly the opposite that God wanted us to become – totally undeserving of His mercy and forgiveness. And yet God stayed faithful and true to His promise in these times of vulnerability and “nakedness.” By prayers, forgiveness and faith, my fiance and I held on to our commitment as an act of honoring God, His unwavering love and His faithfulness.

It is in this relationship that I was brought closer to God. It is in this relationship that I sought Him with all my heart. And it is in this relationship that I was more in tune with the Spirit, the bible verses became more meaningful to me and I can apply what I am learning from the Scripture. It was thru his mom that I got my first ever Our Daily Bread devotional which feeds my spiritual hunger daily and it is thru my fiance’s Dad that I got hold of the Spikenard Magdalena perfume which prompted me to read more about it learning more Godly wisdom in the process.

In short, it is in this relationship that I am learning more of God and His love every single breathing moment that I make each day.

It’s just that, I didn’t know – at first. And I used to have so little faith. 😉

“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

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The Journeyman's Moments

The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.

Tag Archives: salvation

The Christian From Bicol

The Truth vs. The Lie

The Battle Cry

Courage: The Brighter Side

I Had To

Reassessing Self

A More Appreciative 2016

Finding Your Niche: What Does God Want You To Do?

What’s In A Name and A Number

We Just Don’t Know

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