“Ngisog” & God’s Powerful Reminder

I have been praying to God for 3 days on how to write this, because just like the article before this, I will be touching on a very personal and sensitive topic. It is not my intent to ask for sympathy or validation as to why I am writing this. In fact, I waited for how many days to make sure that I am writing this not out of anger or retaliation.

The answer came – testify, but do it through the Spirit’s leading, so other families may also be ministered to, especially those who are going through and those who will go through the same ordeal. 

I will be writing this article in 3 languages – Bikol (the rant), Filipino (the processing), and English (the reminder). You may skip to “The Processing” and not read the first part because it’s a very long portion.

During “angry writing,” I use the vernacular (Bikol) because I need to focus on writing it out, helping me to process my anger before it goes out. Whereas, if I use English, I know there’s a high chance my writing will be offensive. 😀

Compared to “angry speaking,” I use English because I am not a fluent speaker. Using English gives me control and self-restraint when I am angry because I need to find the right words. And it’s the same when I use the vernacular when I am angry, they will be hurtful words because it is the language that I use often. 

That is why I think it is better to learn another language, because when you are angry, you can use that foreign language. And you won’t offend people because they won’t understand what you’re saying. lol There is also a high chance that, out of your anger, you use a different phrase because you can’t remember its exact translation. So, instead of “I hate you,” you might say “Je t’aime.” 

I think you’d get a hug and a kiss after. If that’s the case, I would love to be angry every day. lol I’m kidding. If my corny jokes make you laugh uncontrollably, that means you are my person. 😀 

Going back to why I wrote this article, I entitled it with one local word, “ngisog.” It’s a local term that means “angry.” And this will be the central theme that I’ll be working on based on these Bible verses:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

Before we continue, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guard your heart after reading because no family is perfect, no marriage is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, because no person is perfect. I am not perfect, I still sin, and I still have a great need to repent and seek God’s mercy and forgiveness.

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” – Philippians 3:12-14

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” – Romans 3:23

I am not sharing this, too, to shame anyone or bring embarrassment to my family. But to share God’s reminder that we must work together peacefully.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18


The Rant (Minsan Lang Naman)

Kun kilala na niyo ako sin awat, dire talaga ako madali mangisog…Halaba an ako pasensya pero dahil dire man kita perpekto nan maski sin-o na tawo, pag nasasagad, nangarangas…Saro man saako personalidad na dire ako mainistorya pag may mga tiripon…Pero dire man ako an tipo san tawo na pag may naimod na dire dianis pareho sin pagabuso o may-on sin nakukulugan an boot, saro ako sa mga masita suon…Dire sa nakiaram ako pero kay inpapanghawakan ko ini na Bible verse:

“Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.” – Psalm 82:3

Pareho na lang kun may kadanon ka, dire ko kaya maimod na an kadanon inmumuslak…Kay maski nano na mali san tawo, may tama na paagi sin pagsuhito para mahimo na niya sa otro an tama…Sabi ngani nira, minsan dire an mismo na pangisog an nakakulog san boot kundi an tono san imo pagsurumaton…

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Dire man ako pabor san papatrabahuon mo an kadanon na papakuskuson mo an pavement maski naguuran nyan an pandong sa ulo an plastic lang, huluson, tapos may-on sin sip-on…Dire rason dapat na di kaya bantayan an kadanon didi sa sulod kay kaipuhan sin halaba na pasensya nyan pagputitok…Kaya dire ako nangalas kun nakay sige an absent kay malain an pamati altho aram ko daghan pa iba niya na rason…Para saako, para mahimo sin saro na tawo sin mayad an kaniya trabahuon, ihatag mo kaniya an mga pangaipuhan para mahimo niya sin mayad an trabaho niya…

Saro pa, maski sin-o na tawo masusumo kun an snack mo pirmi biscuit… 😀 Kay heavy labor baga, pira man lang na gastos kun an ipamirindal mo pan para may kusog san lawas…Para saako, atamanon ta man an mga tawo na nag-aataman saato…Dire nato pag-isugan an mga tawo na nagdadanon saato sa mga bagay na dire na nato kaya mahimo…Dire dahil kay inseswelduhan, magtrabaho, bayadan, tapos na…

Maski an dire paghatag sin salary increase (nagtugot na an financier) kada taon is a form of oppression lalo pa na sige man an taas san barakalon dahil sa inflation…Dire ngani ini oppression sa mata san batas, pero sa mata san Dios oo…Lalo na kun naiimod man an gub-at nyan kadaghan san intatrabaho niya kada adlaw…Nyan inhihimo man niya intero na insusugo mo kaniya na dire siya nagdadabog o nagsisimbag saimo…

Importante man gihapon na makaigwa sin relasyon that goes beyond a leader and a subordinate sa mga inkakaputan na tawo dire dahil friendly kita, kundi para maintindihan nato sin mayad an personalidad nira, an paagi san pagtrabaho nira, nyan problema sa balay na intero ini makaapekto san kaniya performance sa trabaho…Dire lang talaga ako nakiaram kay sabi ngani sa simbahan, there can never be 2 queens in 1 kingdom…Nyan aram ko kun gaano kapagal an people management…

Wara ako sin kontrol sa mga bagay na ini nyan posible sa iba trivial lang ini na mga bagay…Pwede palagpason kumbaga…Pwede ko ngani talaga dire ini pag-intindihon kay dahil dire man ako an nagpapasweldo nyan dire ako an nagkakapot san kwarta pangpa-sweldo…Limitado an kaya ko na danon na mahatag sa kadanon para madanunan siya kaupod na doon an mga libre na bulong kay kun maski nahapdos, inkakaya niya magsulod…

O mahatagan sin diyo na kwarta lalo na kun nagipit kay dahil single mom siya, pero dire pirmi kay para may-on pa gihapon sin boundaries na dire abusuhon an imo pagdanon…Nyan kun nano na mga pagkaon na mahatag ko, intatagan ko…Dire ako nagi-expect na magpasalamat saako…Kay an ako lang na tuyo, an makadanon kay dahil naiimod ko an pangaipo maski dire saako sabihon…

Nag-uli ako didi sa sadire ko na kagustuhan…An asawa ko yadto sa Pasig kay may naimod ako na mga bagay na kaipuhan sin danon didi sa niyan pareho sin kaso sa ingod na kaupod ako sa mga akusado…Dire ako nasanay mag-ayo sin danon kay dahil may mga tawo na pag maayo ka sin danon, maski saday-saday na bagay, magub-at sa boot nira an pagkooperar saimo…

Kaso naabot sa punto na kaipuhan ko talaga sin danon lalo na sa mga bagay bagay na kaipuhan at least 2 an tawo an mahimo…Niyan kun pagalon ka na, susurumatunan ka pa sin dire dianis, bulyawan ka, o kun dire, dire ka simbagon, nyan murusutan ka maski matanos man an pakisuyo mo, kaso urgent an concern, masasagad ka talaga na makasabi ka sin dire man dianis dahil napuno ka na…An sala mo lang kay nag-ayo ka sin danon na kun tutuuson saday man lang ngani na pabor…

Sin-o an dapat na mag-call out sin irog sadi na behavior kay dahil Kristyano kami intero, intero kilala an Dios, intero nagsisimba, and hopefully intero nagbabasa san Bible?…Nyan makakamundo lang na bagan gustuhon na pirmi may kahiran na an goal pirmi may kalatigaran, bagan mao an nakahatag sin energy baga…Kay ‘pag peaceful an environment, bagan nade-depress…Dapat ada nag-abogado na lang kuta ha… 😀 Kaya dire ka talaga lugod gaganahan magdanon kay mapagal na kun ikaw na nagdanon, ikaw pa an maparaot…

Mapagalon sa totoo lang i-work out an teamwork kun irog sadi an pagurupudan niye..Intero man kamo napapagal, nano kay kaipuhan pa mag-sungit…Kun dire kaya an iba na tasks, pagiristoryahan an pagbarahin san mga himuon…Madali man lang ako kaistorya kun i-assign saako an iba na tasks kay kun dire ko kaya, sasabihon ko man…Mas gusto ko ngani na insasabihan ako kun nano dapat talaga an himuon ko, kay basta aram ko siya himuon, willing ako to do it…Pero wara na kuta mabati na malain na mga surumaton…

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

Sa luwas dianison an paimod, mao man kunta pag kaupod an pamilya, kay di man an mga sa luwas an maakudihir saimo pag nangaipuhan ka sin danon kundi an mga kapamilya nimo… Love your own, protect your own ika ngani nira….

An mga irog sadi na simple na mga dire pagkauruyon kaya ko ini palagpason…Pero an pinakamakulog saako an nangyari kan Mommy san 2023…Na imbes na magkasararo alang alang sa nag-aagaw buhay na siya, makakamundo na kami san asawa ko na nag-volunteer lang magdanon, mao pa an nasahutan na nangupit san kwarta na panggastos sa mga pangaipo ni Mommy na dire namo yuon hihimuon in the first place kay dire yuon saamo importante na kwarta kay an Dios an naghahatag suon nyan may sadire kami na ipon…

Insahutan ka na tulos dahil lang dire nag-tally an computation kay syempre pagalon ka na kaasikaso sa Mommy niyo sa pag-alaga kaniya sa ospital, minsan nakakalimutan mo diin mo nabutang an iba na resibo kay dahil nagkakaradali nan daghanon ka inhihimo at the same time…Kami san asawa ko an imod namo sa kwarta na conduits lang san blessing kami para ihatag man sa iba as danon kun may sobra…

Nyan nagi-effort ka na makiistorya kuta sin mahinahon para maayos an mga dire pagkauruyunan, naghapot ka sin mayad kun nano an update, inupudan mo san due si Mommy niyo na operahan…Pero an hinimo, binayaan ka sa OR na di mo aram kun nano an next na mangyayari after san procedure kay dire man ikaw an nakaistorya san doktor, nyan kun pwede na kamo mag-uli sin asawa mo…Kay dahil nagkadali kamo paghatod san kwarta kay an rason na dire maaram kun diin ma-cash out sin GCash o ma-withdraw…

Maski są kasagsagan san bagyo, an asawa ko an naghinguha na mag-drive na muntik na kami maaksidente kay zero visibility kay makusugon an uran…Pero dahil kaipuhan, hinimo namo maski bayaan namo didi an mga alaga nyan maski sa butnga kami sin kun nano namo na inhihimo…Makulugon sa boot na pag-abot mo sa hospital, ikaw pa an may sala kay awaton mo dinara an kwarta…Naghuhulat ka sin update man lang nano an mangyayari, an insabi san doktor, inkakaistorya mo, dire ka intitingugan…Nano an choice ko sa sitwasyon na yadto? 

Nag-decide na lang ako na mag-uli kami san asawa ko…Pag-uli namo san asawa ko, nagtawag na si Mommy nagbabaon an bp during san procedure and may possibility na mag-cardiac arrest…Katapusan na san biyahe namo inpapabalik kami sa Sor Ci…1 hour sobra an biyahe, may bagyo…

Diyo lang ini na mga halimbawa na sasabihon ko didi, daghan pa an mga irog sadi na pangyayari…Pero sabi san Dios, Siya na lang an dapat makaaram tutal naiimod man Niya intero…Kaipuhan ko lang ma-share an iba para lang sa konteksto sadi na article ko…

Nagsabi ako san ako suhestyon kun pano ini maresolba na mga challenges niyan didi pareho na lang sin pag-assign sin mga trabahuon sa kada adlaw sa kada tawo didi sa balay para intero may ambag sa mga responsibilidad nyan dire naguguguan an saro lang na tawo…Kay pag irog sadi na paragalon na, kadiyo lang na problema, nasarabog na nyan kun manlain-lain na na mga maraot na surumaton an naruluwas…Importantehon saako an open communication because it paves the way for transparency, accountability, and eventually reconciliation na fair para sa intero…

I told the truth, and I apologized because I know I also fell short in some instances, but I never got an apology in return. And it would’ve been okay. But sadly, I was the one who was pointed out as wrong; I am the one who is always wrong because I am expected to always adjust to other people’s tantrums and mood swings. And I was told that I am the one who needs therapy, without even getting to know the root cause of it all. My prayer to God is that I really would be proven wrong, because who am I to judge, anyway? I am also a sinner.

The Processing

Siguro kailangan ko nga talaga ng therapy dahil masyado akong soft, masyadong sensitive, at masyadong mahina. At alam ng Dios ‘yun. Kaya matapos pumanaw si Mommy, kinailangan ko lumayo muna sa lahat. Dumating din ang tamang pagkakataon dahil nabigyan ng opportunity ang asawa ko na mag-trabaho abroad. Hindi ako sang-ayon dito sa totoo lang dahil flawed din ang asawa ko, kaya ipinasa-Dios ko na lang ang lahat sakaling mauwi ito sa tuluyang hiwalayan namin bilang mag-asawa. 

Ito ‘yung panahon na nanirahan ako sa isang apartment sa Sorsogon City ng 2024. Ginawa ko ito para pahilumin ang mga sugat at hindi ako tuluyang kainin ng galit. Ilang buwan lang akong nanirahan doon. By mid 2024, kinailangan ko bumalik ulit dito sa Bulan dahil si Daddy ay na-diagnose ng CKD at 15% na lang ng kidneys nya ang gumagana at hindi conducive ‘yung apartment para sa bago kong online work dahil maingay kapag umaga. 

Umaasa ako na sana may nagbago…Pero wala din, ganun pa din…Masakit makita ang Daddy mo na nangangailangan na ng tutok na pag-aalaga sa edad na 85 years old…Na ‘di ko basta-basta maibigay dahil kailangan ko na ulit maghanap ng trabaho at hindi ako ang humahawak ng pension nya at ako pa sumasalo ng ibang gawain dito sa pag-alaga ng mga manok, pagong, mga pusa, at iba pang tasks kapag absent ang yaya…Ang masaklap kasi binilangan ka ng contribution mo dito sa bahay, na in the first place, wala dapat ako dito at nandoon ako sa Maynila para pagsilbihan ang asawa ko…

Pero sa gitna ng pagdadalamhati, sinabihan na naman ako ni God na, “Tin, hindi mo trabaho ang baguhin ang ibang tao at ang mga sitwasyon. Trabaho ko ‘yun. Kaso timeline ko ang masusunod, hindi yung sayo.” 😀 At ngayon, may konting idea ako kung saan nanggaling ang resentment ni Mommy and her depression, too. Na umabot sa punto na sinabihan nya ako ng “Tatanda din kayo. Ikaw na ang umunawa kasi ikaw ang mas nakakaintindi.” 

Ni-try ko Mommy pero napagod ako ng husto. Hindi ako tatagal ng ganito ng ilang taon dahil magiging tulad mo ako na pinanghawakan ang galit sa puso hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang sandali. I am so sorry, Mom. Pero may tamang panahon na sarili ko din naman isipin ko, at ito na ‘yun. At ‘yun din ang message na nakuha ko – don’t sit at a table where you are not wanted.

Asawa ko ang nagpapadala sa akin ng allowance ngayon, kahit pa mag-isa lang siya sa Maynila, kumakayod para sa aming dalawa dahil hindi na siya bumalik abroad. Hindi ako makahanap ng trabaho ulit dahil sa dami ng kailangan asikasuhin dito sa bahay, kaya madalas din ako sa kwarto para magpahinga. Kaya ngayon magpapatuloy na ulit ako sa paghanap ng trabaho dahil dasurv naman siguro ng sarili ko na sya naman pagtuunan ko ng pansin ngayon. 

Ako ang tipo ng tao na hindi nagtatanim ng galit. Kausapin mo ako pagkatapos ng away, papansinin kita. Kapag hindi, hindi rin. Napagod na rin siguro ako na ako lagi nagi-initiate kahit pareho naman may kasalanan. Kung nag-attempt ako na kausapin ka, at nilunok ko ang pride ko, at hindi ka kumibo, isa lang pahiwatig nun sa akin, hindi na ako makikipagusap saiyo at hindi ko pipilitin ang mga taong ayaw akong kausapin. 

Hindi ako actually pabor sa silent treatment dahil dinanas ko yun kay Mommy ng dalawang taon dahil hindi ko tinapos ang master’s degree ko at ikinagalit nya ‘yun ng sobra. Alam ko epekto nito bilang recipient of that attitude. Pero inintindi ko si Mommy noon na her anger was valid as a parent. Hinayaan ko na panahon ang maghilom ng sugat. At kahit masakit na hindi ka kinikibo ng mahal mo sa buhay, umuuwi pa din ako dito sa bahay tuwing bakasyon and endured it all para lang hindi maputol ang relational ties ko sa kanila.

The Reminder

All the previous trauma and unhealed parts of me came back, and I was feeling very low over the past few days. After the heated argument (where I sinned again because I cursed and said extremely hurtful words out of anger), I thought I’d go out of town just to take a breather from everything. I decided to go to SM City Sorsogon because I also have errands to do there.

When the Bulan Trans Co shuttle was about to leave, one guy at the front stood up, and he did what I wasn’t totally expecting to happen. This never happened for the entire duration that I stayed in Sorsogon City in 2024, though I took the Bulan Trans Co shuttle often.

He started preaching.

At that moment, I felt like I was about to burst into tears. Lord, Your conviction really does hit the core. You know exactly what I need at exactly the right time. And it has to be a pastor – I cannot question the authority. 

God knows there is a possibility anger, bitterness, resentment, and retaliation will get the best of me. He knows I might go through a major depression again, and this time I might not get out of it anymore. 

The pastor talked about everything that I needed to hear, and at the end of his preaching, he introduced himself as Pastor Raul from the Pentecostal Church. He and his wife are missionaries from Negros, and were sent to build a church here in Bulan. They were able to buy a property in Brgy. Somagongsong, and there’s an old house there, which they are using now as their temporary church.

The second part included the offering. I know, some of you might think, what if he is a scammer using the Word of God to get money from people? That’s how I would think of them before I was a born-again Christian. 

But this time, the conviction is different. It doesn’t matter – I got to hear the rebuke, the reminder, and God’s saving grace. I prayed that my offering would help them spread God’s Word because what they are doing is not easy, and it is very risky. 

Every Nation (the mother church of Victory Philippines) is also a missionary-sending church. The church sends missionaries abroad, although Victory is also planting churches locally. I am very glad that other local churches also never stop building churches all over the Philippines.

And the denomination doesn’t matter. What is important is that Jesus Christ is the center of the church, and they are helping more people come to know who God is through the Cross. 

After this encounter with God through Pastor Raul during my trip to Sorsogon City, I felt like the Holy Spirit convicted me with the following Bible verses. 


“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.” – Mark 9:42

“Therefore, just as the tares are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age. “The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” – Matthew 13:40-42

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” – Psalm 141:3

“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” – Deuteronomy 30:19

“Correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:25

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” – Galatians 6:1

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

To end this article, here’s my prayer that I believe will help us all navigate through complicated relationships, making sure we are aligned with what God wanted us to do through the midst of it all, because everyone is a work in progress. ❤


Dear Lord,

I humbly come before You to seek repentance for all of my sins. Please help me to forgive others the way You have forgiven me. I may be like weeping Jeremiah now, but I beg You, Lord, to spare Your people from moral decay.

May our hearts not be calloused and devoid of love because of the work of evil around and in us. Spare us from the corruption of this world. Please continue to mold us to be the salt and light of the world always.

And yet, please remind me, too, if my self-righteousness has gone too far. Help me, Lord, to defeat the attacks of the enemy, removing all lies and deception that blind us from the Truth.

May we not fail to keep on being kind to people. Even if the world dictates that kindness is a weakness because it forces us to relinquish control and risk our authority being taken for granted.

Remind us, Father, that before we are bosses, managers, supervisors, and leaders, we are human first. I pray, Father, that we may grow fearful, not of what we will face in the future, but as a sign of our reverence for You.

It pains me to see Your people suffering, and even if I suffer, too, I will rejoice because I get to share the same kind of suffering with them. And because I am secure in the fact that we will also share in this profound joy, once You come back to reign heaven and earth for all eternity.

Please give us the courage to walk away when necessary, the peace to accept things as they are, and the strength to keep moving forward. Knowing all too well that You are always in control, and that You are working, always working.

I pray for parents that they will be given the wisdom to guide their children towards responsibly creating a safe atmosphere of open communication without raising voices or resorting to bickering. And that everyone will be given a voice.

Father, please heal our unhealed traumas because of generational curses. I pray, Lord, that as Brother Bo Sanchez said, may we not give an inheritance of these generational curses to the generations after us by being emblems of what God’s love is ourselves.

May we also not laugh at the misfortune of others, but instead weep with them and comfort them. May we refrain from having any form of pride, arrogance, and superiority complex just because we are blessed with a lot of things, sharing these blessings instead with those in need.

Teach us, oh Lord, that we should never be against one another, being able to see that these are all the enemy’s attacks to cause division within a family and even in spiritual families.

Because when you are cut off from the flock, you are isolated, an easy prey. I pray for unfailing unity in the body of Christ despite the trials and persecution. May we learn to work cooperatively and collectively despite our differences, putting others before ourselves.

May You guide our hearts to never be tempted to compete with other people, especially those who are in the body of Christ, keeping in mind that we have been blessed with different spiritual gifts. And may we also appreciate those who silently work behind the scenes, so that together we can give You the utmost glory.

And lastly, may this experience be a powerful testimony and a strong reminder to me, most especially, that You are greater, and that there is always hope through our brokeness no matter how shattered and no matter how pained.

This, I pray, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN. 


“But there is no peace for the wicked,” says the LORD.” – Isaiah 48:22

“Before a downfall, the heart is haughty.” – Proverbs 18:12

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” – 2 Timothy 3:1-5


P.S. I am planning to go back to Manila by April, though I have my apprehensions because Manila is not a place that I feel God is calling me to stay for good. I am also praying for the souls I will be leaving here, Dad’s and the little souls, that they would get the TLC that they deserve (na dire pagparapahulaton kuta bag-o asikasuhon) at hindi sila mapabayaan. God is in control, and I will rest in this fact. Feeling ko tuloy isa din ako sa mga Israelites na ni-exile at nagpa-wander wander sa iba’t ibang lupain dala ng mga unfavorable circumstances sa paligid nila. Saan ba ako lulugar, Lord? Where do you want me to go, where do you want me to stay? It looks like it will always just be me and my fair warrior, Finley, na magiging kasama ko madalas kung palipat-lipat ako kung saan saan. Start na ng training nya paglabas-labas ng bahay at pag-commute kasi mahilig si Meowmy nya mag-commute. 😀 And I think I left my heart in Mayon (sino ba hindi mabibighani kay Mayon) simula nang nag-ATV kami doon last May, kasi bakit ba ramdam na ramdam nya pinagdadaanan ko at nag-ashfall sya kanina nang malakas habang sinusulat ko itong article na ito. Always praying for every Albayano who will be affected.



P.P.S. As an introvert, I fit the category of writers who are recluses. Though I do have a very warm personality during social interactions. I even talk to plants and animals, and I prefer talking to them because it’s less stressful. lol So when I am not outdoors, and I am in my room and not working, it is not because I am harboring anger, playing victim (we are victors in Christ Jesus), or being a drama queen. I am actually enjoying my solitude doing the things I love, which include writing, reading articles online (mostly about faith), playing with Finley, resting, and praying. I think I deserve to be who I am without having to explain myself as to why and how I do things.


My thoughts exactly. lol

“What Sorrow Awaits”

“What sorrow awaits you who are rich, for you have your only happiness now.

What sorrow awaits you who are fat and prosperous now, for a time of awful hunger awaits you.

What sorrow awaits you who laugh now, for your laughing will turn to mourning and sorrow.

What sorrow awaits you who are praised by the crowds, for their ancestors also praised false prophets.”

– Luke 6:23-26, NLT

What Is A Generational Curse?

Tin Ginete

Breaking free from generational curses. (Photo credit: http://www.youtube.com)

Most of the time it is during church service or a prayer meeting that I receive a revelation and most often, it is in my quiet time that I get to have a fuller understanding of that revelation. It could be a word, a song, a testimony or even a whole message which God wanted me to act on now.

During the prayer and fasting and even prior to it, I have heard one phrase which struck a cord in me, in my spiritual senses – a generational curse.

I must admit my knowledge and Godly wisdom on this topic is very limited. I believe God wanted to expound that knowledge by urging me to research about generational curses and be enlightened on what it really entails through articles and the Scripture. These are the articles I have stumbled across and I do encourage you to read them:

http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/generational_curses.php

http://www.gotquestions.org/generational-curses.html

http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2004/may/beth-moore-breaking-free-generational-curse-sin.html

http://www.ministeringdeliverance.com/generational_curses.php

I do have an idea what it meant – it means a sin committed by ancestors that is now plaguing the current generation and maybe some of the generations to come. But I never really considered the gravity and the effect it could make if indeed a person is afflicted with a generational curse.

Not until I realized that I am one of those persons. It was during the prayer and fasting that I proclaimed I am free from the stronghold of the enemy. I just felt freedom at its best through the Cross. Something I felt when I had my altar call and when I went through the baptism of the Holy Spirit and my water baptism. It was only when I was reading all these articles on generational curses that I begin to understand why I had to attend all 3 prayer meetings during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting and be able to completely stick to my plan to control addictions i.e. Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc. and follow consistently the once-a-day meal type of fast. The Spirit has to be greater within me to pull me out from the stronghold of the enemy – which I may define now as a generational curse.

I didn’t realize I am under a generational curse of depression, paranoia, insecurities, anger, anxiety, fears and doubts. Yes, it runs in the family. There is a medical term for it and I already admitted it in my previous articles except that this time, I do not wish to name it as I consider myself free and cured from the curse now that I have been saved and received prayers from our spiritual leaders in casting out demonic Spirits that may have possessed us through the generational curses.

I believe a generational curse is what is plaguing most families especially those who do not claim Jesus to be their Savior. For it has been said in the articles that it is only by the blood of Jesus that you will be freed from the generational curses that have been handed down to you by your father, mother, grandmother, grandfather and forefathers. It is only Jesus who can clean your name and give you a new slate to start living a life free from this curse and alive in Christ.

Some of the generational curses could be vices, murder, rape, adultery, lying, robbery, basically any sin committed by an ancestor or it could be an illness, they can become a generational curse. I shared this revelation to my brother, one of my spiritual mentors, and he said, “Yes, we may be under a generational curse for how many generations now and yet our forefathers have prayed for us, the future generations, to be successful in not just dealing with them but in overcoming them through the Cross, through Jesus Christ, through repentance and salvation. Then there will also come generational blessings.” 🙂

Yes, I believe the mission that I was given wasn’t that easy. A conflict I had with a past relationship drove me to researching about the oedipal complex and this article just made me realize a lot of things about myself – http://www.energeticsinstitute.com.au/page/childhood_oedipal_narcissistic_development_affects_later_adult_intimacy_and_relationships.html.

I believe both me and him are dealing with generational curses that have been handed down to us which now are the cause of some conflicts we are having in our relationship. We both have generational curses to overcome through Jesus and I pray that in his salvation, he will declare himself free from the bondage of this generational curse through Jesus Christ.

I wouldn’t be this receptive though to learning all about generational curses and I wouldn’t be able to identify what is the generational curse that I was under if it wasn’t for the personal relationships around me. It is a difficult task which requires extreme patience, endurance, great character and perseverance to fight for faith at all costs. But I know my GOD is greater than anything in this world and I am claiming it through the mighty name of Jesus.

If you believe that you or someone you know may be under a generational curse, please pray with me the following prayer I have found in one of the articles I have read regarding generational curses:

“In the name of Jesus, I confess the sins and iniquities of my parents (name specific sins if known), grandparents (name specific sins if known), and all other ancestors. I declare that by the blood of Jesus, these sins have been forgiven and Satan and his demons can no longer use these sins as legal grounds in my life!

In the name of Jesus, and by the power of His blood, I now declare that all generational curses have been renounced, broken and severed, and that I am no longer under their bondage!

In the name of Jesus, I declare myself and my future generations loosed from any bondages passed down to me from my ancestors. AMEN!”

We also have spiritual mentors in church who are more than willing to help you in what you are going through. You may check out the websites in my advocacy and affiliation sections (left side) to know more about their contact details or you can contact me in my social media sites so I could connect you to a spiritual family.

Always keep the FAITH my dear brothers and sisters! ❤

“You have to remember when depression knocks at your door that you are among some of God’s choicest servants, like Elijah in the Old Testament and no less than the Apostle Paul in the New, who met depression on the field of battle and found an answer.  They did and so can you.  Yes, there is a solution to depression, whether it is discouragement, despondency or despair.” – Dr. Harold J. Sala

Day 2: MORE REVELATIONS (Part 2)

I knew that I cannot sleep this day off without sharing what happened tonight. For I believe they are all part of God’s revelations.

But first, I’d like to praise God for blessing us with spiritual leaders who took the responsibility of making sure we were all led “home” – in spiritual victory. 🙂

Last night’s prayer meeting at Victory QC in Regis Katipunan, Bishop Manny Carlos said that there will be tangible assurances from the Lord of His presence during this Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting. And this article will be a testimony of that prophecy. For I claimed it and believed in it. 🙂

6pm is the time I lift my “cellphone off”  ban and I prepare for our 7pm prayer meeting. Last night, hailing a cab going to church and my travel time were easy. But tonight, it was a challenge. I got out of the house and saw that heavy traffic started to build up in front of our house. I waited for 15 minutes but no cab was available. I haven’t eaten for the rest of the day and I thought, this might be the enemy trying to prevent me from attending the prayer meeting.

Unfortunately I am not just a warrior but a conqueror. For God trained us to be that, right? 😉

So I walked one block to get to an intersection hoping I will have more chances of hailing an empty cab but then again to no avail until I have decided to ride a tricycle going to a nearby mall. Taxi stands are everywhere there. When I got to the mall, oh boy, one taxi stand has a long line of passengers waiting. So I went to the other side of the mall where there are lesser passengers waiting. A lot of empty cabs stopped in front of me but when I told them where I am headed to, they declined.

I am on the verge of quitting out of desperation. But no, I am determined. For I would always keep in mind that the only time I will not be in church is when I am dying and I am physically incapable to move. Yes, never say never. And sometimes, just like in the movie God’s Not Dead wherein the two ministers are having a hard time finding the right car for their vacation, faith is all that God was asking.

So yes, I thought why should I worry, God is in control now. Let things be and keep calm. If it is His will for you to be there in church, He will take you there in His perfect time.

Finally, a cab passed by, passengers got off and one passenger waited until I got in before closing the door. I thanked him and I thought, “Father, this must be it.”  I mean let’s admit it, there are only a few gentlemen who are willing to open doors for the ladies now. But I am praying God will change that. 😀

Anyway, I got inside the cab, told the driver I am headed to Katipunan, he said yes and finally I felt relieved. But then it was cut short – Xavierville Ave was in such heavy traffic I thought I will arrive when the prayer meeting is already over. But c’mon Tin, never say never. Never ever give up on God, keep your hopes up.

So there I was at the back seat trying to keep myself mentally afloat and physically present yet spiritually in control. Then came the first of the revelations. Something caught my eye from the passenger’s seat door near where I am seated. Wow, Father. Is this you? 😉

Tin Ginete

Brian Joseph Taxi

Of all names, of all taxis, of all times, of all dates, must I ride a cab that has a name exactly like that of my ex fiance except that you just have to interchange it – his full name is Joseph Brian Rome.

Now I sure did laugh. I am not sure if the taxi driver heard it but I took a photo of it for documentation purposes. Well, all I ever said was a prayer in my head that “Father, if this came from you, I already am relying on You COMPLETELY.”

I am letting go of the things that You wanted me to let go and yet if this is the assurance You are giving me that losing someone to God is never really a loss then again I can only and will only HOPE in YOU.

Okay, so there went my conversation with God. But then, came this music from the taxi’s radio. And guess what that song was? It’s our love theme song – All of You Loves All of Me by John Legend. So below is a short video clip I took with the cab’s name. I cannot capture it long enough lest the driver might be distracted by my phone’s camera flash.

And so I laughed again and silently said, “Oh c’mon now Father God, you know that I love you and I can ONLY love you for you are my EVERYTHING.”  And seriously though I thought, if the enemy is playing with my thoughts then I’ll show him who God really is.

I was about to record another video but when I looked up, I happen to stare at one of the food cart franchises by The Filipino Dream (formerly Filtrepreneur Franchise, Inc.) that my ex bf and I ventured on – Kambal Pandesal from San Miguel Mills Incorporated. And I thought, okay, now this is getting serious. Because I really thought the business was going to fail and it is not God’s will for us but I still prayed for it. This was a sign that God is giving me hope and to just wait a little more. So I took a photo of it while we were on standby mode.

Tin Ginete

Kambal Pandesal by San Miguel Mills Incorporated

But then, here came another surprise. The song that followed John Legend’s song was One of Us by Joan Osborne. Are you familiar with the lyrics? If not, here is a sample and of course I took a video of it.

“If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with Him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
And yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin’ to make his way home?”

Whew! I am all smiles before I even get to the prayer meeting. Yes, I was 20 minutes late but I believe God intended I get stuck in traffic so I’d have time to observe things around me and appreciate that really, IT IS ALL ABOUT GOD. 🙂

So came the prayer meeting, we prayed for our campus missionaries and ministries and it was not a coincidence my prayer group that I randomly joined in happen to be ALL educators who are taking up their graduate study. Yes, exactly just like me. And we were praying for the students in the campuses. Yes, sometimes smiling because of these wonders around you is all that you can do. 😀

After the prayer meeting I waited and hailed a cab and when I got in, I checked my phone. 2 missed calls from my ex bf and a txt msg. I read the txt msg first and wow, this was what I read:

Tin Ginete

Praying for this business venture.

The business deal was successful, we were able to help a future business partner put up their own food cart business and I was blessed too on the other hand. Praise be to God! Now this, I must say, I am already proclaiming with my utmost entity that my God is indeed the everlasting, magnificent God who saves, protects, loves and provides. I still will continue praying though that by God’s leading and grace, this will be successful. I am committing to the Lord’s plans in this venture.

Oh Father, I want to shout your name aloud right now to praise and honor You for Your Glory. But it is a full moon, I won’t do it lest I might be accused of being a lunatic. In Your perfect time and place though. 😛

So I texted my ex fiance as he is my business partner – a reason for us to talk in a casual, friendly manner. But in case he asks me to take him back and start again, I am afraid my heart is not yet ready for it. I have forgiven him but the time is not yet right to re-commit with him. I am not closing my doors though. I am just happy things were going well this time now that I have decided to give my all to God and to Him alone. 🙂

When I was about to get off the cab, I looked at the cab’s fare counter and it was 78.90. I have no smaller bills so I thought I’d just give my 500-peso bill and ask for a 400-peso change. Yup, I usually round it off (sometimes a little too high) when I pay my fare. Sort of helping them too from the extra.

But this time, the cab driver told me he doesn’t have enough money for my change as he only has 300 pesos at the moment for he just started taking passengers tonight.

So there goes me rummaging my bag for smaller bills to pay the exact amount and was glad to find 70 pesos. But I am still 8.90 short. I told the driver, “Manong 70 pesos lang po ang barya ko. Okay lang po ba?”

He didn’t hesitate and just easily answered with an “Ay okay lang po ‘yan Ma’am.”  And I just thanked Him and thanked God for meeting a good soul back there. 😉

Oh what a night of my second day of prayer and fasting. I will eat my first and last meal of the day and pray to God for more of Him tomorrow, last day of the prayer and fasting, before I hit the hay.

But one thing I can promise, if these were distractions (for tonight’s prayer meeting focused on discerning distractions), then definitely the enemy failed. For I have already made a re-commitment to my Lord and my Savior – way solid this time. I will continue praying that God will unveil my eyes from any deception and lies placed before me by the enemy and lead me towards the Truth.

Goodnight for now my sisters and brothers! 🙂

Day 2: MORE REVELATIONS

Today is July 1.

Today marks the second day of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.

Today is the day of resistance but more revelations from the Spirit.

The second day of the prayer and fasting usually is the hardest, for it is the middle ground of fighting for your spiritual hunger over your physical hunger and the testing point if you will make it to the 3rd and last day without giving in to temptations. Temptations are very hard to control at this point for our physical bodies are already going through bouts of hunger, weakness is affecting the mind, and self-control is hardest to attain. And yet, this is the point that your spirit is strengthened for you rely more on spiritual strength which is equivalent to letting God take control of your entire well-being through prayers of strength, deliverance, guidance and sustenance.

Any food that you see will be a temptation; missed calls from him last night will tempt you to call him back today and chances of reconciling are high; and the temptation to turn on your phone and logging in on Facebook may seem inescapable. And yet the Spirit asks to wait for God – it is not yet the right time. Endure if you must. Let the Spirit control your heart, which controls your mind and then your mind controls your body. If I may describe the feeling, it is breathing not for this world but for God.

After attending the prayer meeting last night, our Pastors and spiritual leaders prophesied that there will be tangible revelations and assurances from God for making the harvest. And today’s prayer and fasting devotion is about honoring parents which is exactly the incident that happened with my fiance’s Mom last weekend. It was one of the things I prayed for last night and I woke up today browsing my Our Daily Bread booklet which is just one of the devotional books I read consistently for my daily devotion aside from my daily bible app via You Version.

And I must say that our spiritual leaders are right. For when I opened the page where I stopped yesterday, I was surprised that what was written there was not the regular daily devotion I usually see with the current date and the corresponding bible verse. What I saw instead was a “special article” regarding this – THE FORGIVENESS OF GOD.

Tin Ginete

Special devotion: God’s Forgiveness

I continued to read the article and indeed, today is a big revelation. For now I know that guilt and shame have been leading my life just like David’s all because of my failures and it has been affecting all aspects of my life. I didn’t notice it until I have read this special write up. And it also cleared a misconception when it comes to forgiveness. Which made me remember about a bible verse I posted about Jesus saying to Peter to forgive not just 7 times but 77 times. A close friend of mine who is also a sister in Christ asked/commented on that bible verse saying, “Sis, what if no asking of forgiveness took place?”

I was struck with that question and made me thought that just forgive and forgive just as God has forgiven us. So I told her, just pray to God just like how Jesus prayed saying, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

That was the answer that I thought was right at that moment. And yet while reading this article on God’s forgiveness, it was reiterated here that there is no such thing as “unconditional forgiveness.” For even God required that we must first proclaim our sins before God and repent before we get baptized or receive salvation which is God’s way of forgiving us and cleansing us from our sins.

Tin Ginete

Forgiving unconditionally is not right.

Now this is a huge enlightenment on my part for it answers so many questions I have regarding my past relationship. I have always forgiven even if there was no acknowledgement that happened from the wrongs committed. Thus, a change of heart was not there. And yet only God can touch the hearts of those who needed His light – only God can awaken those feelings of guilt, despair and hopelessness which will result to acts of surrender, repentance and asking of forgiveness. As believers, it is our part to wait until those who hurt us come to a point of repentance then forgive when they ask us for it.

Prayers. What we need are more prayers for more people to come into the Light, be healed and saved.

For it was also shared last night that prayers are very powerful. I can attest to that. A prayer sincerely said will surely give answers that may or may not answer your questions or requests but it is through prayers that God gives His instructions for a task that He wanted us done.

I went on to read my devotion for the day and there was that smile of relief again. It is about “Bouncing Back.” I am indeed on the right track and this assures me more that what I did was what God wanted me to do and these are all His plans.

Tin Ginete

July 1 Devotion via Our Daily Bread

I just love how the “last-liner” of today’s devotion appealed to my spirit right now:

“Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.”

I often wondered, this truly is not a coincidence. For how can this special article on God’s Forgiveness happens to be of great importance at just the right time, the situations I’ve been in, the decisions I have made and falling in the middle of the 3-day prayer and fasting in church. The developers of Our Daily Bread are not affiliated with our church and yet all are unified on what points call for prayers at this time of the year.

And I believe these revelations not only satisfy today’s prayer requests but this is part of God’s grand plan in the coming days, weeks, months and years. It just amazes me that when God calls out to His people, may you be from another part of this world with a different cultural and social background, all tasks were delegated in serving one common mission and goal.

Many were hurt because of the past turn out of events for the last couple of days, months and years – may it be global, national or personal. The issues need not be complicated nor dissected – they all are one and the same. God is asking we forgive where forgiveness is due. For in doing so, we honor Him.

And I believe what God was asking is that through forgiveness we can all worship Him together and in perfect UNITY – a call to be ready when the perfect time comes to make the harvest. Many will bow down just like what Joseph, the dreamer, has dreamed of.

And only One ruler will rule and one Kingdom will reign – God and His Kingdom. 🙂

In Season: What Is An Altar Call

image

Apple Mangoes

In season. Tropical fruits are all in season ready for harvest during the month of May. As a month-ender, I decided to write this article for they reminded me of only one thing: the altar call. What is an altar call? Contrary to popular belief, it is not just reserved for pastors or priests. Oftentimes it is referred in the most common term which is “a calling.”

As I was reading my devotion, came the idea that not all are called to do certain missions based on our spiritual gifts but all were called to bring God glory by sharing the Gospel. Sharing the Gospel always follows after a public declaration of your acceptance of Jesus Christ as your Savior and a commitment to obey the Word. Sharing your testimony, so to speak.

For it was written:

2 Timothy 1:7 NLT

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

This happens after being born again through the water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit. But this only follows after the altar call. I do not really consider myself as part of any religious organization or fellowship but just to give honor to the spiritual family who made my salvation possible, I’d be discussing my own experience how I got saved in our church. I have already shared in my previous articles how I got saved but not in particular the first step I did towards that salvation.

Speaking from my own experience, one reason why an unbeliever goes to church is because you are seeking for answers. Probably you are in a very low situation in your life and problems simply just took its toll and gained full control of your life – a state of chaos and confusion. Emotionally you are hopeless, helpless, depressed and in a lot of pain. That was what I am before the altar call.

The altar call is yes, a calling. It is that time during church service and everyone is worshipping that you will feel the tugging in your heart of the Spirit. It is something that is unexplainable for it can only be felt. During the worship while everyone was singing, I had this strong urge to let all my sorrows out and pass on the burden to someone. Later did I realize that that someone was the Spirit who lifted them for me, made me walk towards the altar when asked who wanted to surrender their life to Christ, crying my heart out and feeling every single word in the worship song that we were singing at that time along with fellow believers.

The worship song that we were singing was Unending Love and it was the right song at the right moment. A swarm of fellow believers followed suit and only a few remained in their tables. We were all there crying and it was not because we were all emotionally unstable but because the Spirit led us there and all of us were feeling burdened at that time and at the point of losing all hope – a state of sincere repentance and absolute surrender. We were blessed at that moment right in front of the altar and the church leaders prayed for us.

Bit by bit, the load begun to get lighter and lighter until almost after the praying was done, I felt as if my heart was already whole, complete, light and burden-free – complete freedom, a renewed self. I was having my One to One Discipleship with my bible study group leader at that time which is a more focused approach in preparing you for your water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit. The last two will culminate your salvation and your transformation. It is more like counseling and therapy. Except that you are discussing everything spiritually and the transformation comes from the person’s own free will to change guided by the Spirit’s leading.

Salvation is always an act of surrender. Repentance is the key followed by acceptance of a Savior in your life. No one else can lift your burden for you; otherwise, you wouldn’t be in church in the first place if you have found the solution to your problems and the answers to your questions someplace else. But then, God will not give you right away the answers you have been needing nor the solution to your problems but He will give you PEACE.

It is only through peace that you will be able to hear His instructions well which contain the answers you are looking for and the solution to your problems. Sometimes it comes through trust, patience, discipline and a whole lot of values and character traits that He wanted us to acquire first. One thing that an altar call makes possible is opening a door to establishing a firm and personal relationship with our God, the Father, through His Son Jesus Christ. Achieving peace during the altar call though you felt you have been burdened to death will give you the peace in every burden that you will carry in the future.

Because you now know that there is a God who hears, who loves and who saves. With Him, nothing is impossible. That is the assurance that an altar call, that God and what Jesus did for us on the Cross represent – HOPE.

And only when you are in season will you know the real essence of an altar call. For it is only then that the Lord will call you to make a lasting commitment with Him by accepting the gift of salvation – this is a personal encounter with the Lord.

The right time will come to make the harvest – when it is in season, ripe and ready to be caught when it falls. 🙂

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Tropical Fruits

Instrument

When I was saved, the next thing I prayed to God was  for Him to use me as an instrument to reach out to the people who are “lost” and let them know about Jesus Christ. Little did I know and neither did I really understand what being an “instrument” meant back then. Until came that time when I was given the actualities on what it really feels and what is it really like to be used as an instrument.

I have learned two things when God used me: sacrifices and humility. Exactly how God sent Jesus Christ as the way for us to be saved. To follow Christ is to accept Him first as your Savior and be Christlike. It meant going through sacrifices and having humility. I didn’t understand at that time why I had to go through the same things I went through before when I am already a Christian now, pure and devoted. Trials after trials came. Setback after setback. I got corrupted again but I held on to my faith. I noticed that the more I become bolder with my faith and in my devotion, the enemy strikes even harder and more painful this time.

But, what the enemy didn’t know that for every hardest blow I take, I come out unscathed. For every failure, I come back up twice as high as I fell. I have wounds, but I am made whole again. For I have a God who heals, who restores and redeems. 🙂

“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” – Psalm 55:22

Sacrifices played a crucial role being an instrument in spreading the Word of God. It meant persecution, corruption at one point and eventually reaffirmation of faith. To sacrifice is to bleed, to lay open your wounds, to submit every part of your being for the good of one or many.

To be able to endure sacrifices is humility at its best. You are subdued to the lowest point of your weaknesses leaving them raw and open and yet this is what gives you the opportunity to trust God and have faith in Him wholly, with no reservations and with utmost sincerity.

Indeed, when you reach out to the “lost,” how would you help them when you don’t know what they really are going through? How can you sympathize with them when you don’t know the pain they feel, the sorrow they go through, and the struggles they face in every aspect of their lives? I had to experience them too. And when I went through all that, I already know how to deal with them, I know what to do when I make this mistake, I already know who and where to turn to. And that is what they needed to hear, that is what they needed to learn and that is why God gave me the task.

Testimonies are always the best examples of salvation and ultimately, of God’s love through the Cross. They are the best motivators for a changed life, so to speak. I was subverted back to who I was because God is assured that I can never be led astray this time. Though I have to make the sacrifices, He knows I will be going back to Him, seeking and reaching Him out all the more. Then, share the Word and the meaning of the Cross.

Yes, being an instrument is a two-way learning process. I, too, was learning. I, too, feel the pain. I, too, feel the struggle – with them who are “lost.” But the only difference, I had a steadfast faith and I know the meaning of the Cross. I always go back to God, I always think about the Grace. I “report” what I did, I repent if I made mistakes along the way, I submit to His will and then I accept what needs to be done  next through prayers for continued guidance from our Father.

“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” – Galatians 5:6

At the end of it all, I ask myself: “Why do that, Tin? Why ask God to give you the task of being an instrument in letting people know about Him? Why let yourself go through all the pain and the sacrifices?”

At first, I don’t know the answer. But God gave the answer: it was LOVE. He loves us so much that is why He sent His son Jesus Christ to save us from our sins. I love my God and Jesus Christ so much for this GRACE, I love the people around me too much I want them to be saved too. It was all for LOVE that I will endure the sacrifices, that I will accept humility. For I know too that this LOVE that saved me will be the LOVE that will save them all too.

This was the love that I used to sarcastically joke about. The love that I used to amusingly take for granted. The love that I have no regard at all. And yet, it was because of this LOVE that I survived in this world.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his LOVE into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

– Romans 5: 1-5

Before I end this article, I would like to share this verse as a reminder so as to not fall into the trap that the enemy has set out for us in order to cut in on our RACE towards GRACE:

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

– Galatians 5: 19-21

Forgive yourself, no one is condemning you. But continue to do what is good, what is right and what is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. So my dear brothers and sisters, I pray that may we all work together towards having this through Jesus Christ our Savior – LIFE IN ETERNITY and continue the good fight of faith, no matter what it takes. 🙂