On Bo Sanchez’s “Happy Poverty”

Posted on September 1, 2018 by Christine Lailani

This book was lying around in our old apartment for how many decades already since I was in college until now. It was only when we recently transferred homes did it capture my attention. I didn’t know who Bro. Bo Sanchez was back then. But last year I followed him on Instagram because of a quote I loved.

I finished reading this book for 20 minutes. That is how I am when I am immersed in what I am reading – time just passes. 😀 This is a short book which is a compilation of different stories but the stories were all wonderfully and beautifully written.

I totally adored this book from the beginning until the end. I felt like the book was speaking to me or rather, my life’s events are speaking in themselves through the book. In other words, I can 100% relate to everything that Bro. Bo was sharing – ideals, circumstances, take on a lot of things, etc.

The most interesting segment in the book that got me captivated and I found myself smiling and then laughing because I can totally relate to him is the idea of “happy poverty.”

My Version of “Happy Poverty”

If you are to read these articles, it’ll give you a glimpse of what my husband and I went through in the first 2 years of our married life: “Minimalist: What It Taught Me In Life” and “Dressing The Part.” It was not easy but we were able to live by because we have made decisions that we know will forge something deeper in our marriage – trust in God.

A Commitment As A Married Couple

One of our agreements when we finally decided to look for our own place to stay meant that we will be living in conditions that both of us weren’t used to. We both grew up in comfortable homes where we need not worry about everything we need. And this new season that God brought us in was the opposite – a new and unfamiliar territory. We knew we are up to something very challenging and this meant turbulent and rough seas for us.

To make it short, we decided to enter this “happy poverty” season. For the first part, it was very uncomfortable but we were glad and grateful we went through that season because it was a time of so many changes and growth in all areas of our lives. Because we both agreed to enter it, we were contented with our decision and never had any regrets.

You can imagine the major adjustments in everything throughout this season and we were well aware that we needed to keep our emotions in check because our predicament demanded all sort of negative reactions.

That is, if we allowed them to. Though we failed in some instances, I can still say my husband and I were successful in overcoming all the negativity for the most part. This is most likely because we clung on to a steady Rock who’s never washed ashore no matter how mighty the waves are. And also, because we have the following reminders to lead us. Some of these we were able to learn during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church.

Trust-worthy reminders to live by:

Hold on to the commitment made as a husband and a wife and the act of cleaving.
Consider ourselves totally cut-off from anyone who could help us.
We can’t expect our parents to bail us out or go back home to our parents’ arms whimpering.
It’s not about pride but about trusting God and God alone.
How far will you trust God even if it comes to the point of dying for Him?

Deepened Trust

Looking back now, I can say that that particular season was beautiful. Although during those times there were moments of tears and sadness; disappointments and failures; helplessness and hopelessness – but only for the time being.

We allowed God to work on our lives and rescue us from anything that will be our pitfall. We did experience everything that the word “poverty” can encompass. And yet, if I will be asked to relive the experience, I’d still say “yes.”

Why? Because Bro. Bo Sanchez is right:

“That seasons of famine are permitted by God to give us deepened trust.”

And this verse will support that statement:

“Give your burdens to the LORD, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” – Psalm 55:2

But are there times that I still doubted the Lord? Yes, I honestly admit there are times that I still question God’s will and His ability to make things work according to His plans. This, I must say, I am ashamed in admitting but it also gave God more opportunity to reveal more of Himself to me including His never-ending faithfulness.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

God is Never an Impatient God

Just like this article, developments in the family endeavor, the career opportunities I receive – they were all delayed. Because God revealed September is, once again, a season of waiting.

“Don’t be impatient. Eat when it is time to eat. And walk when it is time to walk.” – The Alchemist

Why must I or we wait? Because when God asks us to wait, it means He has a big plan that He is currently working on that requires a much-needed preparation and is due to happen in His timetable if we want it to be perfect.

God is a god of perfection and as His sons and daughters, He wants nothing else but for us to have the best. That is, if we have the patience to wait for them to unfold either in this lifetime or the life beyond. 🙂

“Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.” – James 1:17

“…in order that in the coming ages He might display the surpassing riches of His grace, demonstrated by His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God,…” – Ephesians 2:8

Rich in God’s love always,

Love In The Eyes Of An Empath| 3rd Year Wedding Anniversary Special

Posted on August 17, 2018 by Christine Lailani

As the title goes, this post is in line with our celebration for our 3rd year wedding anniversary. I can only praise God for taking good care of our marriage and for our happy union now – we owe it all to Him. 🙂 ❤

For a change though, I’ve decided to make this a creative write-up. Here it goes. ❤ 😉

Dear love,

It was a beautiful friendship. Now, it is a thriving marriage.

At first, nothing could go wrong, you thought. Because “love” is all in the air. And yet, you saw visions of them – hatred, bitterness, hurt, and anger. Then, it became a reality. Ah, they brought you pain. So much pain. So you asked, “God, where do I go?” His answer was simple, “Me. Come to me.”

Then, everything vanished. You were carried in His arms. You knew you will walk out that dreary stretch with all your might. Could it be that you have fallen along the way? Yes, but He picked you up. Amazing, isn’t it? The footprints always remain a single pair. It must be true. It is, in fact, true.

Now, you saw that familiar face, again. You can see his gaze, perturbing. That look, yes, that look. You saw the pain. It emanates from the windows of his soul, the eyes. You felt the pain. So this is how it is to love. To love with all your soul – all bare, all naked, all vulnerable.

Can things change? You hoped it in your heart. No, you prayed it with all your heart. There might still be a chance. But that’s the thing with love. It always gives chances. Even if you thought the opposite is true.

I’m glad he’s back. And so we’re back. Here we are fighting together and not against each other. But something really has changed. No, it’s not something. A lot of things have changed. You counted the days that turned into weeks and then months. And now? 2 years of changed lives and changed hearts.

You are more than glad you called out to Him for help. You knew you cannot do it on your own. That familiar gaze would’ve come from a stranger. A stranger who knew so much about you. A stranger made by circumstances.

He finally arrives home, you look at him. There he is with his tired look. He smiled faintly, greeted you with a kiss. But his usual banter is nowhere to be seen. You decide to tell him then later. Give him a tight hug, a sweet kiss, then prepare dinner.

He is trying the best that he could to be the best man. Don’t forget the little and big things which he knows you’ll love even if it’s too much of a hassle for him. When all is at rest, he’s back to his usual self. Ah yes, the perfect time to lie beside him, tease him, tell him what you wanted to tell him, stare at his face, and wonder if the circles under his eyes are getting bigger.

So you smiled at him which was returned right away and then more teasing. A few words are enough. That is not so hard to do. To focus more on someone is to focus less on the self. You read the emotions, you read the actions. It’s not hard to tell. You know what to do, you know what to say, and when to do all of them.

Funny how a pause is so important in everything. You look at him, you pause. He says something, you pause. He does something, you pause. Those pauses are so much more than just mere pauses. They speak volume to you who feels everything.

If there is but one thing that marriage teaches you about life, it is this – take a pause. When you pause, you loosen up. You detach from your emotions. Then, everything comes to a standstill.

It’s just like a time machine. It allows you to reorganize everything and make sure you’ll do everything right this time. Except in our world, you don’t need a time machine. Why? Because your choices will allow you to control time.

Time. You must love time and for what it does whether it’s to heal, to be free, to fight, or to reunite. See time as your best friend, not your enemy. It is only when you pause that you stop the time. You pause because you want to cherish the moments you want and can keep.

Love and time. They make a relationship grow. Yes, so much have changed. But only because we chose to allow time in letting things grow. And only because we have love to keep things growing.

About love, it’s not so hard to find actually. All you need to do is just look up and say, “God, I am ready for You.”

Make sure though that you really are ready. Because it is only love that will keep you together when everything seems falling apart. And when you do finally have love, whatever comes in your relationship, be assured that it will always have a happy ending. 🙂

A loving empath always,

If you love poetry reading, you can try watching my version of this lyric poem below. Enjoy! ☺❤

P.S.

I am currently finishing drafts one by one and once done, I plan to set the date when each article will go live. A thought came in though. What if one of these days I’ll find out my days here in this world are numbered? Will it be okay if my social media accounts still be “active” because of my scheduled posts on WordPress even if I’ve long been gone? I have drafted a whole year worth of articles. I hope you guys won’t find it creepy. 😀

Anyway, speaking of those numbered days, I randomly shot a question to hubby dear last week. I asked him what he will do if there’s an emergency here at home i.e. I slipped on the bathroom floor and was knocked unconscious, there was a fire, etc. and he needs to rush me to the hospital. He just answered that he’ll decide when it’s already happening. So I told him that sometimes a little preparation will help align your emotions to what can possibly happen (the dreaded events) and prevent a lot of hassle.

I continued by telling him that if he finds me unconscious on the floor, he must check my pulse, then get 3 important things: keys, wallet, and cellphone. He must also lock the door after carrying me out. Then once downstairs, ask for help from the guard then book a Grab car or taxi if the ambulance from a nearby hospital will take too long to fetch me.

My husband finds this absurd. Haha Yup, I know you will find this absurd, too. 😀 And I realized I am beginning to sound a lot like my Mom these days. (Love you, Mom!) But I know these “absurd” thoughts never popped up for no reason. They will also serve their purpose in God’s time. Well, it’s just an afterthought, anyway. A long one. 😉

Relationships & Marriages: Don’t Settle Just Because | 5 Wrong Reasons

Posted on July 27, 2018 by Christine Lailani

Relationships and marriages always have one key component – settling down. I don’t know of anyone who got into a relationship without plans of getting married. Do take note though that I refer to marriage here as the legal union between a man and a woman. I am not, in any way, in agreement with cohabiting. If you can’t have a church wedding first (like me and my Mom by choice), then by all means, have a civil wedding. 🙂

A Church Wedding vs A Civil Wedding

My husband and I would still love to have a church wedding someday. We are targeting to have it on our 25th wedding anniversary. I can already imagine how emotional it will be. Why? This church wedding will be our gift to God for keeping us together until we reach our 25th year and the years to come.

Though we believe in a God who provides anything especially when it comes to finances, we felt it in our hearts to have the church wedding a bit later. We attended the marriage preparation seminar conducted by our local church, though. I highly encourage engaged couples to do this. It is such a big help to prepare you for the married life in a God-centered way.

Keep in mind that a civil wedding doesn’t make your marriage less holy. My parents’ marriage is a testimony of this and how they brought us up. We all grew up as God-fearing children who knew God well enough beyond all the religious rituals and practices. I believe a good marriage goes beyond lavish weddings but most of all, it should be about honoring God by honoring your marriage and your vows until death does both of you part no matter what. 🙂

In 5 years’ time, my parents will be celebrating their Golden (50th) Wedding Anniversary. I can only thank God for the grace and for my parents’ efforts to stay committed to their wedding vows regardless if they had a civil or a church wedding.

Marrying By Faith is More Important

When I got married, I knew what I was getting into. It is a covenant that you cannot get out of whenever you feel like it. I asked God for guidance if this is a season that He wanted for me. I never had doubts about whether I should marry my husband or not. When I received God’s wisdom over my decision to marry, I had no regrets even when months later after the wedding, hubby and I got into stormy and rough seas. But because I have faith, because of God’s grace, and because I married my husband for the right reasons, here we are close to our 3rd year wedding anniversary (that’s next month!). Still a young couple, though. 😀

So ladies (I chose you just because I am also a daughter of Christ), here are the wrong reasons for wanting to settle down:

5 Wrong Reasons Why You Should Settle Down

1. Never settle for comfort and convenience.

It’s a temptation for single ladies to get into the season of married life thinking they now have a partner in life who can help them with everything and be their best friend. Yes, it is true but it also means doing your part of the deal and making sacrifices, too, if needed. There is sometimes this misconception or “the fairytale complex” that after the prince married the princess, it’s all happily ever after between the two.

The truth is, a marriage will bring you so much discomfort as much as it brings you so much comfort. It’s not always a happily ever after. It could be a sober ever after every now and then or an exciting ever after or a boring ever after. We can never confine marriage with just one emotion because just like life, it’s a mix of everything. Forget that fairytale, it’s ideal but not real.

2. Never settle out of peer pressure or for validation.

Ah, yes. This is one of the most pressing (but wrong) reasons when settling down. I’m sure you’ve heard statements such as:

“This is my 5th time to be a bridesmaid, when will I become the bride?”

“All my girlfriends in our batch are married except for me.”

“My best friend got married already, I think I should do the same.”

“I think nobody loves me enough that’s why I am still single.”

“Nobody asked me out on a date, I think I’m the ugliest girl in the world.”

Whooosh! Wave them all away! They are all deceptions and lies that the enemy is planting in your heart. Do not fall for that trap. You are as lovely as you are now. You are worthy to be loved. You deserve to have the right man in God’s perfect time. The solution? Be still and wait. God might still be busy preparing you for this season.

3. Never settle for the sake of “leveling up” or “singlehood” is starting to become a bore.

This is common with women who always ask, “What’s next?” 😀 The very root problem of this goes back to discontentment. When you are not satisfied with what you have, you’re always hungry for more. Believe me, it can be a vicious cycle (used to be my stronghold). What you need is to enjoy the “now.” Ask God for leading where He will take you. Always be in tune with what He wants you to do. Be in step with God in all of your plans.

When you do this, you’ll be amazed by the different seasons that God can usher you in that are both exciting and frightening and yet fulfilling in the end. And you were only vying for one? Nah, God wanted you to have the best experiences in this life! Why? It is through these experiences that God will test your faith so you can build your character and be ready and equipped with everything lacking nothing (James 1:4).

4. Never settle for money.

For arranged marriages, this is common. It is a sad fact to know that some marriages are based on preserving business partnerships. If you’re reading this and you’re going through the same dilemma, ask God what He wants you to do. Remember, life is not over for you. This season might be where you’ll have the greatest learning yet. Seek His will all the more why He put you in this season. Then, see things from His perspective.

God knows you’re going to go through it and He knows that you can handle the situation. He won’t give you this situation if you can’t carry it on your own. But even if you can’t, know that God is on your side to help you out each and every step of the way. And lastly, money can’t buy you happiness. It never does and it never will no matter how wealthy you are. It’s always a weak foundation of any marriage, it will and it will crumble.

5. Never settle because looks captivated you.

The rule of thumb is to let your heart be captured by another heart, too, and not with the looks. 😉 This adage is always true to the core no wonder it became an adage: “Looks can be deceiving.” Go for attitude always before looks. But here’s what you must remember, too. In your courting days, both you and your partner will be putting your best foot forward so it might be an all show of positive attitudes. And yet, even if you’ve become best friends now and you’ve grown quite comfortable with each other, you still can’t show him your underwear and point out they’re “baconized” already you need to buy a new one, right? 😀

Seriously, the “getting to know” stage will only get deeper once you get married. I can attest to this because my husband and I weren’t really best friends when we met and became a couple. So, the first 3 years of our married life became the “getting to know” stage for us. It can be a rollercoaster for the first few years but I can assure you it will get better in time. You’ll soon learn to love each other better including those things that used to tick you off. And you’ll only notice how handsome your husband is once married because you get to stare at him most of the time. 😀

My last piece of advice when it comes to relationships and marriages is this: if you plan on settling down, marry for the right reason – because of love. And yet, always keep in mind too that love is not purely about feelings and emotions. It is a mixture of decisions, sacrifices, disappointments, failures, triumphs, accomplishments, forgiveness…every act and emotion (good ones) you can think of, that is love (1 Corinthians 13). No wonder it is the greatest of all. 🙂

“But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” – 1 John 4:8

“Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

Still feeling unsure where God is taking you next when it comes to relationships and marriages? Do drop me a comment or a message, I’ll pray for you. ❤

Thankfully married,

Unflinching: Of Flaring Nostrils And Conflict Resolution Tips

Posted on May 18, 2018 by Christine Lailani

This conflict resolution article is based on the experiences that my husband and I went through as a married couple. I haven’t been sharing much from our experiences as a married couple lately but this one particularly got a “tugging.” If you and your spouse are struggling in this area, do continue reading. You might find something helpful which you can apply in your own marriage as well. 🙂

If you’re reading this and you’re married, I am sure you’ll agree with the majority of the points I’ll share here. If you’re still single, you can take this as a preparation for your next season. Most are true for this though – all couples go through disagreements. It all just differs on the number of instances a certain couple fights over disagreements.

Let me share with you a bit about our marriage just in case this is your first time to read my articles. Our 1st year ( 3 years ago) as a married couple was the “craziest.” How? Let’s just say I was the fiercest cat and he was the meanest dog – we were the worst of enemies. We’ve torn each other apart so much that I was so sure in those moments the marriage will come to a ruin 100%.

Well, it almost did back in 2016. But to make the story short, we came out alive with the help of our biological families and prayers from our spiritual family.

What I learned from that gut-wrenching experience is that if you are given the entitlement to claim something (i.e. holy matrimony), you have every power to fight for it whatever the odds and whatever the cost. If you believe in your heart that God will fight on your behalf, let your faith be unflinching.

Yes, unflinching in your faith and never in anger. Since this 2016 incident, so much have changed. But only because I held my ground as a wife – I claimed what is rightfully mine in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. That is my husband and my marriage.

How did I exactly do that? I looked straight at the enemy (dark spirits of this world who will tempt you, use your weaknesses, and make you sin) with my game face on and dared him this – you have messed with the wrong wife this time. Send me all your powerful warriors and launch to me all attacks you can think of from temptations to sickness and death, my God will face you in each of those and you will be defeated.

“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

Am I really brave? No, honestly I am very insecure but if God prepares you for a battle, He will equip you with full armor having this as your best shield – LOVE. God is love, anyway. You’ve got the best defense you need not be afraid even if you think you’re too frail to defeat anyone.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” – Ephesians 6:11

Honestly, we really are too frail to fight it out on our own that is why we needed God in the first place. If you fight the battle on your own, chances are, you will lose.

I was unflinching during that ordeal. I guess it’s the good part of being unflinching that was retained here. Before I became a born-again Christian, I can be the worst enemy you have met. I am not proud of this though, I suffered the consequences of it. So much that it was so difficult for me to piece the broken pieces together. But God made it all whole. Not in a snap but a painful and yet transformative process for the better.

Before, every time I am in a disagreement with someone, I never give up my ground. I make sure that by the end of the heated and verbal outbursts, I get the upper hand and I get to have the last say. In other words, I use the most destructive weapon of all to achieve that – the tongue. There are lots of moments that because of my words, I “killed” these people. Some broke down in front of me, some cursed me with their whole life, and for most, I ruined their lives. For me at that time, it was a victory – the wrong way.

I was a born-again Christian already when I got married. I thought that I was over with all the unflinching anger and lashing outs. But little did I know that it is through my marriage that God will polish me out. God cut the sharp edges when I got saved, but the refining happened when I became a wife.

This is most likely because it is in a marriage that you get to play out the greatest of all – love. How can you love others better when you can’t even love your better half (spouse) the way God asks of you?

I think you now have an idea how disagreements between me and hubby went on during the first year of our marriage – destructive. When nostrils flare, that will basically describe us – no one wants to step down. We both used the foulest language we can think of until it escalated to flying plates and anything the hand could reach. It even went so bad that I can’t share it anymore here due to its sensitivity.

This was the time our families intervened to protect us both. I also sought help because God instructed we badly needed our families’ help already – we needed a mediator.

I never thought hubby and I will get out of that ordeal. But true enough in Ecclesiastes 13, there is a time for everything. It was only a season. We learned so much from it. I learned so much from it. It was a time for war and yet came also the time for peace. It was a time when we were deeply wounded and yet we were also healed.

If you are married, you’re going through tough times and the worst in your marriage, do continue reading. I know it will give you hope and strength. 🙂

The seasons changed, the tides have turned. This is only because we both made the choice to make things right with God’s help and with the help of the people around us.

My husband and I changed tremendously since then – there really is hope. We have learned one very valuable lesson being a son and daughter of God:

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23

Of course, the enemy won’t give up without a fight that is why the bible warned us to “be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

Hubby and I are both a work in progress, we are still flawed. Though the enemy can use our weaknesses to wage war against one another, the Spirit will not allow it anymore.

8 Practical Tips to Apply During Conflict Resolution

Aside from the fruits of the Spirit, here are practical tips I’ll share to avoid those moments when nostrils flare:

1. Treat every disagreement as a landmine.

Veer away from saying a word that will make your discussion explode. Apply MAXIMUM RESTRAINT and EXTRA GRACE. In other words, guard your tongue. Know what is the right thing to say. If you will ask me how? Avoid saying things that you know will offend your spouse.

2. Keep the discussion to a maximum of 1 hour.

This is personally a lesson for me because I tend to speak lengthy explanations just like this lengthy article. 😉 Know when to stop and stop means the end of the conversation. Period. The 3rd step is related to this.

3. To make sure you will resolve the conflict in an hour, discuss only the issue at hand.

Never ever bring up past issues. Believe me, it will only make things worse making your discussion waaaaay longer.

4. For you to discuss things means it has to be a two-way convo.

My hubby used to have this habit of tinkering his phone or anything with his hand while not looking at me when we’re discussing. This irritates me to the point that the conversation gets derailed already because of this. Now I’ve learned to remind him to give his 100% attention to the discussion. But this time, more gently. It works. 🙂

5. Do not interrupt when your spouse is explaining.

Take turns in answering and asking questions. When your spouse talks, listen carefully.

6. Refrain from making sarcastic remarks and most especially, curses.

Always remember the power of your tongue and the extent of damage it can cause if you will use it the wrong way.

7. Focus on resolving the issue at hand.

Most of the time you can resolve it right away. But there are some instances wherein you need to leave it hanging for the moment. Still, it is not reason enough to end the conversation abruptly or open-ended which is what #8 is all about.

8. After discussing, don’t leave the conversation abruptly.

In fact, never leave a conversation if none of these things took place during the entire period of your discussion – apologies, forgiveness, and last but definitely not the least, a PRAYER.

So how would you know if both of you have changed your manner of resolving conflicts? The answer is this – a change of heart. You will see it in the way you RESPOND.

Personally, when I am very angry now, I find myself not being able to finish a rebuttal without bursting into tears. Ah yes, it’s now a softened heart. Tears make me more gentle. It stops my tongue from speaking more of those destructive words.

I used to speak from a hardened heart that made me unflinching. But now, it’s the opposite – I quiver. It is as if the Spirit is teaching me to take a good grip of the reins, take good control, so my tongue won’t slip. It’s my soul battling for what is right telling me, “Tin, stand down.” Then, I get to breathe. When I breathe, I pause. When I pause, I get to clear my mind – a sound mind. Then, I respond BETTER.

As for your spouse, pray for him/her. If you, yourself, are going through a tough time controlling yourself, keep in mind that your spouse is also going through the same struggles. Help each other. Tell your spouse that, too. Encourage your spouse to work with you and NOT against you and that you are also willing to do the same.

Apologize even if you think you have nothing to be sorry for. Why? Most likely there is something you need to apologize for – your anger and pride may have covered it up that is why you can’t recognize it.

So how did a recent conflict resolution of ours end, you might be wondering. It ended

exactly in an hour;
no curses with 1 sarcastic phrase that slipped through;
sincere apologies and sincere forgiveness from both ends;
a reassurance from each side that we are both a work in progress, still flawed but doing a great job, we appreciate one another, we are grateful for what we have, and we are both proud of each other’s efforts to change;
a tight and warm hug;
a prayer of gratitude to God, our mediator;
and lastly, sealed with a goodnight kiss plus a snore after. 😀

Yup, that’s hubby’s snoring which used to annoy me big time but after 3 years of being married, it’s now music to my ears. Oh, c’mon, Tin. Yup, I know you won’t believe me. lol

It gets on my nerves sometimes but when I call out his name softly, he stops. It always works. This was an experiment I did and I’d love to study how the subconscious can still interact with the events presently happening while the body is already in the state of deep slumber.

Ah yes, in love, you get to slowly love the differences until everything becomes neutral. 🙂

“Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 4:8

“We love because He (God) first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!”

– 1 Corinthians 13:1‭-‬8 NLT

If you are going through tough times in your marriage and in dire need of prayers on conflict resolution, please don’t hesitate to reach out, I’ll pray for you. ❤

Always in love with love,

It’s 2018!

Posted on January 13, 2018 by Christine Lailani

Fiery 2018 New Year date with sparkling trails

Photo credit: Christmas Stock Images

Hello, everyone! I am back and I am sooooo excited to be back! I have so many things to post (all saved as drafts on my phone) and yet so little time! 😉

I am actually on bed rest because I caught the flu bug and I’ve been sick for almost two weeks now. I easily get sick but I prefer not to take meds and train my body to boost its own immune system. Anyway, I still want to make good use of my idle time while I still have the free time. Thus, the post. 😀

So, if you’ve been following my blog for quite some time now, I usually don’t have a blog entry in the month of December for 2 reasons – it is my birth month and busy holidays. I also take this time off from social media as my own year-ender fasting in deep retrospect.

Speaking of fasting, I think you all know we also have a week-long fasting in our church at the beginning of every year. So the January blog entry is, for me, VERY spiritual and personal. 🙂

No, I won’t cry a river in this post like I did the past years. But if I do shed a tear, that tear is precious. It speaks volume of the countless blessings and answered prayers I had back in 2017.

Ah yes, the Lord is GOOD! Freedom from the stronghold of the enemy, freedom at its finest, indeed. 🙂

2018 is FREEDOM. 🙂

Yes, the year 2017 fared fairly well for me and my hubby and our families. We did have some setbacks but the year ended with such a pretty awesome bang. What I meant by a “bang” is one major prayer request being answered – restoration of broken relationships through sincere forgiveness. Not mine though, God answered it at the beginning of the year 2017. But this is for people we’ve been praying for.

Thus, I just smiled my widest ever smile when on the first day of our prayer and fasting in church, I randomly saw this after accompanying my sister and bro-in-law at the airport:

God is good all the time, all the time God is good. 🙂

The tangible assurance is there. God is always with us – Emmanuel. This is the reason for the season as they say. Personally though, I celebrate Jesus’ birth every single day. I thank Him every day for the greatest gift I have received from the Father which is salvation. December 25 for me is just a widespread, massive, collaborative celebration of the Savior’s birth worldwide.

Since I got saved back in 2013, I have seen the works of the Lord not just in me but through the people around me and even with the nations. I have learned since that year until now the very essence of Ecclesiastes 3, the joy of patiently waiting on the Lord, the complete trust, and the faith that we have such a great God though what we see around is the complete opposite.

I do not intend to make this post a very long one like my previous January posts. But that is only because I intend to write short posts once a week. The prayer and fasting at the beginning of this year imprinted on me these verses:

“Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecy spoken over you when the elders of the church laid their hands on you.” – 1 Timothy 4:14

“Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress.” – 1 Timothy 4: 15

This blog came alive right after I got saved. A very trying circumstance prompted me to make one. I made this first out of a need then, later on, I realized God used that circumstance and turned it around to serve His purpose. This blog now serves as the “megaphone” for my faith.

No, I dare not turn my back from my calling – sharing of faith-based testimonials through this blog. God knows there is a possibility I will because of other priorities. But God demands He remains the #1. Thus, the reminders. 🙂

From me, my hubby and our families, let’s all claim for a fruitful 2018 come what may and cheers to more upcoming posts that will glorify His Name!

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15

The Ginete Family (missing Ate Ayn and her hubby) with our 94-year old maternal grandma. 🙂

The Ginete Family, now reunited with Ate Ayn and her hubby but still missing another sibling and our parents. 😀

The Rome Family missing my Dad-in-law. 🙂

Always remember, our God is ALWAYS WITH US. Seek Him and you will find Him. ❤

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5

P.S.

My future posts will be written through a mash-up of my native language (Filipino) and English. We have a very rich language and the Spirit also imprinted I use it often. I am sure Google Translator will do a fantastic job of translating them for you all. Or better yet, you can try learning our language too. I say, “yes” to the latter. 😉

It’s Our 2nd! :-)

Posted on August 15, 2017 by Christine Lailani

Ha! I’m the first one to do the goofy pose this time (for a change). lol 😀

I am squeezing in this article despite my pending tasks for today as part of our 2nd year wedding anniversary celebration. Yes, 2 years down the marriage lane and by God’s grace, I can thankfully say we are getting better, stronger, and deeper with our relationship with God and with one another. (Awww Tin, sniff, sniff.) 😀

Seriously though, I am also sharing two awesome articles which I found over Fb news feed shared by a friend and the other was advertised. One is about grace and the other one is about how to keep your marriage intact. These articles are a huge help to all those who are married and even to those who are single but are planning to enter the married couples department.

Here they are:

In contrast to the article I have written for our first year wedding anniversary, I won’t delve into nitty gritty details about our year as a married couple for 2017. The start of this year has been more like the ‘calm after the storm.’ If you’ve been reading my blog posts since the start of this year, you’ll know why. 🙂

I told hubby dear that I don’t want to celebrate this year’s wedding anniversary with lavish dates and extravagant gifts because first, receiving gifts is not my love language and second, we are saving financially (I can be very kuripot too fyi. lol). The fact that we’re still together after all that we’ve been through is enough gift for me. In fact, it is the best gift that I always thank God for every single day. ❤

Ah yes, to the single sisters and brothers in Christ reading this, you’ll understand when you get married and go through yourself the chapters of the married life. But for the married couples, I know they all agree (including me) to what our pastors in church would always reiterate – “marriage is hard work.”

I told hubby that our first year wedding anniversary deserves that much of an emphasis because it’s the most crucial year for any newlyweds. It’s that year when you’re starting to get to know each other in an extremely deeper level like what ticks him off when he’s at home, what are my routines, etc., and adjusting to living together under one roof.

For the first few months after our first year wedding anniversary, we’re still experiencing ripples of that adjustment period and honestly, even now, we are still adjusting to one another. My Mom actually advised me that it indeed takes a lifetime to know your spouse. She added that she and my Dad (both in their 70s now) are still making those adjustments even after 44 years of being married.

But don’t interpret this in a way that the married life is far too burdensome. Although I might have to add that at some point in your married life you would feel that way, I assure you that for the greater part, it is an awesome journey holistically. It will nourish every aspect of your life and every aspect of who you are.

Personally, being married made us grow deeper in our walk with God. I must admit that our faith was extremely challenged to the point wherein we felt like we’re too exhausted to fight it out, and yet, by the grace of God, you will “indeed soar with wings like an eagle” and fly like never before.

To put it in another way, this article has no meaning if I won’t say that it was all God who made our marriage the way it is now. Our own efforts are useless – if and only if they are the only things that we hold on to every time challenges of all sort come our way. It was all about God, all about our prayers every single night, all about finding ways to attend and listen to the Sunday preaching, all about hearing out from spiritual mentors, and all about our trust in Him every single day, in every decision, in every thought, in every action, just literally everything.

Everything is about God and that is the bottom line of it all. Remove God in the husband and wife equation and it sure will fail. No amount of human effort can save a failing marriage except by the loving grace of God.

Believe me, I have been through very tough circumstances but I never gave up on my husband because I know God will never give up on us for as long as we keep the commitment – our marriage vows. I know that my husband is not perfect and neither am I that’s why it is a given that we will both fail each other through the entire course of our marriage. But it is not in ourselves that we rely on for hope, instead, we put it in God.

Well honestly, I can’t help but cry a tear or two (yes, I counted them. lol) while typing this and I looked back at every single moment that my husband and I went through. Through the good and the bad times, God was always there. I felt Him, I heard Him but it took me my COMPLETE trust in Him as well.

There were moments wherein imagining now, I know my husband and I wouldn’t be able to make it through, and you may indeed call it as the worst of the worst. But I held on to my faith. I trusted blindly to the point that I just surrendered everything to God.

Yes, our human frailties will require we REALLY let go of some things. Instead, let God take over, let God fix what needs to be fixed, ask God to give you wisdom, clarity, and instructions – HE WILL NEVER FAIL YOU.

If I cry now while I type this, that’s because I am overwhelmed by the fact that all three of us made it all through – God, Brian, and me. If you are reading this and you’re going through the toughest times in your marriage, I encourage you to NEVER GIVE UP. Never give up on your spouse and most definitely, never give up on God. HOLD ON TO HIS BEAUTIFUL PROMISES.

Pray that God will soften hearts; pray that God will heal gaping wounds; pray for restoration; pray for reconciliation; pray for forgiveness; pray for a change in you and a change in your spouse; and most of all, LISTEN TO WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY.

Never let your emotions drown the voice of God. Calm yourself and calm your spirit by immersing in the BIBLE day and night. Your bible will be your guide, it will be your weapon when the enemy starts to fill in your thoughts and your heart with lies.

What are these lies? Let me just share a couple of them and they are the usual thoughts:

your husband/wife doesn’t love you anymore
you are not worthy of love
you will not change
your spouse will not change
there is no hope for both of us
the damage has already been done
the damage is far too great
he/she will be happy with someone else
he/she is not the right one for me
I am a failure

Counterattack these lies with these TRUTHS instead:

my husband/wife will always love me no matter what
I am worthy of the greatest love Jesus died for me on the Cross
I will change by God’s grace in God’s time according to His plans
my spouse will change by God’s grace in God’s time according to His plans
there is ALWAYS HOPE IN CHRIST JESUS OUR SAVIOR
we all make mistakes BUT we are also given CHANCES
NOTHING is too damaged or too broken for God to heal and restore
I can make my spouse happy
my spouse is God’s best for me (claim it in Jesus’ Name)
I am a work in progress and God will see to it that “whatever work He’s started in me will be brought to completion in His perfect time”

Lastly, claim God’s beautiful promises for you and your spouse and fight for your marriage. Look at the bigger picture and don’t be too absorbed by the small things or the stumbling blocks in front of you.

Instead, THANK GOD EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY.

And always look at your end goal as a married couple by keeping these vows you made in front of God latched in your heart safe and secure:

“Through thick and thin, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part…” ❤

P.S.

I’d like to thank my spouse for keeping the faith, for not giving up, for redirecting me to God during the times that I felt so weak, for praying with me always, for the many chances to change, and last but not the least, for loving me beyond my imperfections. ❤

Oh and also, for being so patient with me like in the photo above during one of our photo stints last Sunday for a project. 😀

I love God and I love my husband. Nope, it’s an understatement – I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH – God first, my husband next. 🙂

To cap off this cheesiness, do watch this awesome cover of “Say You Won’t Let Go” by Moira dela Torre. 😉

If You Do Not Have Love

Posted on August 14, 2017 by Christine Lailani

heartlove

This is a morning thought that’s been itching to get out and I just need to write it fast before I get on with today’s tasks and busy schedule. Yes, my priority is God first. So this first before anything else. 🙂

However, I do not have the extra time (maybe later) to look up the exact biblical references (bible verses) for some of my quoted statements. You know I am never good in memorizing numbers but I can memorize a thought. But you can go the extra mile by typing them over Google search, it might show you other verses too that the Holy Spirit may be speaking to you in whatever season you’re in.

So what’s this morning thought I was saying? It’s this – as believers, may we not fall into the sin of having the superiority complex and the exclusivity of Christians mingling with fellow Christians or on-the-road-to-being-a-Christian alone. Remember that “we ALL have fallen short of the glory of God” and salvation is not reserved for the privileged few but it’s FREE FOR ALL.

That’s regardless if someone used to be/or currently a drug addict, a rapist, a robber, a criminal, an adulterer, an abortionist, etc., CHRISTIAN OR NOT. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ because we have ONE FATHER, ONE CREATOR.

Even pastors and ministers sin by saying the wrong word, by making the wrong decision, by being tempted with anger, etc. for they are as human as we all are and to sin is part of our fallen nature. Yet when we were given a new life when we got saved, we commit to a life of righteousness.

That is why the greatest way to show our love back to the Father who gave us this opportunity to a new life is to extend the GRACE that He has given us even if we all DO NOT DESERVE IT. We are all a work in progress in our spiritual journey, it is best to develop a character that ENCOURAGES, that gives HOPE, rather than a character that condemns and criticizes.

The core of Christianity was never just about faith nor discipleship but most importantly, about LOVE. The greatest commandment is this, “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Jesus came here not to condemn this world but to give HOPE out of His Father’s LOVE FOR US. That is why even “if we speak in tongues,…but DO NOT HAVE LOVE, we are only a resounding gong. And for anyone who doesn’t know how to love doesn’t have the love of the Father in them.”

And lastly, “faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.”

What do you know about love? Read 1 Corinthians 13. I got to know all about it and apply what I learned from the bible when I got married.

Yes, my seasons changed and it was a total paradigm shift from knowing the theories alone (when I was single) to applying them for real (when I got married). And yet I am more than glad to God for giving me this opportunity. 🙂

My challenge is this:

If you can overlook an offense no matter how grave it is even to the point of life and death, then you know how it is to love. You know without a doubt the Father’s love for you and me. It was when Jesus died for our sins – the greatest sacrifice and form of love ever done.

For one, try to reach out and LOVE that person under the stronghold of drugs and massacred an innocent family. Pray for a new life to begin with God at the center of his life, then maybe that love you have given will radiate in him and him to others until it becomes a domino effect.

How do you change the world? Be that change by starting with one person at a time. That is our responsibility, leave the government to carry on with its own and other affairs.

Again, do you have the love of the Father in you? If yes, then we should love others as to how He loved us. Start it with someone you know whom you thought is impossible to love. You might be startled by the fact that it did not only change that person but it also changed you.

Indeed, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” 🙂

P.S.

This is the intro for my next article – the 2nd year wedding anniversary special. Pretty long, eh? 😀

A Family’s Love

Posted on May 25, 2017 by Christine Lailani

Before anything else, I’d like to take this moment in sharing my sympathies and offer my prayers to all the bereaved families who have lost loved ones in the recent events that took place in Marawi City here in the Philippines and in Manchester, England. To give hope and assurance, I’d like to share this random bible verse from my quiet time a few days back before I learned about said events:

“The Lord will mediate between peoples and will settle disputes between strong nations far away. They will hammer their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will no longer fight against nation, nor train for war anymore.” – Micah 4:3

——————-

A family’s love, next to God’s, sustains an individual through all the trials, pain and suffering. I could never imagine growing up without mentors in the likeness of my parents and siblings. They are not just my regular life coaches but they are my spiritual mentors too. Thus, I am forever grateful to God for the gift of family.

How does a family start?

IMG_20170525_073500_729

Yes, a family begins from a marriage. I can only thank God for giving both me and my husband families that are whole and complete. But this is also equated to greater responsibilities for both me and my husband in raising our own future family in the same way.

“Bring (your children) up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

Nope, our families were never perfect. They are as flawed as you and me. But if there’s one thing in which my appreciation goes beyond having a complete family, it is the fact that despite these flaws, they have struggled, fought and sacrificed in keeping all of us together and the family whole not only because it is mandated by God but out of their love for Him and their love for us.

“You and your families will feast in the presence of the Lord your God, and you will rejoice in all you have accomplished because the Lord your God has blessed you.” – Deuteronomy 12:7

As this quotation goes,

Screenshot_20170525-080314

Keeping a marriage is challenging and it’s even more challenging building a family, a strong one. I really have such admiration for married couples who have aged gracefully though battle-tested through time and whose children’s lives are a success not in terms of achievements but whose lives reflect that of faith, hope and LOVE.

These are the things that are hard to achieve in this world on our own, but easier when you have a God who makes the impossible possible. Thus, I won’t be keeping this post long, for a change. 😉

I am honoring our families by sharing this and these photos, a pack of imperfect individuals but chose to honor God through the trials and suffering and the joys and happiness.

Me and my in-laws. 🙂

Me and my family a.k.a. “The Homebodies.” 😉

From our families to yours, I pray that God will be honored always along the way in every way – every family needs Him.

“But if you refuse to serve the LORD, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live?

But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.” – Joshua 24:15

1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister & Missus

Posted on August 17, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Yup, that is my hubby and me. 🙂

Will devote this post in adoration to and in honoring my spouse as we celebrate our 1st year wedding anniversary this August 17 – another great milestone. It was a time of great adjustment and testing and yet looking back, I am just grateful to God for everything – the good and the bad. It really does pay off having a great God in our lives. 🙂

When my husband courted me back then, I laid out clearly my sentiments first things first and these were my exact statements:

“I am the type of girl who is more practical than “pa-soshal” (high class/elite), who prefers a simple life than a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle and someone who isn’t enamored by sweep-me-off-the-feet moments but pursues what is not complicated, what is serious and what is sustainable. This applies in all aspects of my life.

But I have one great challenge for you – if you can’t love my God, please choose someone else to love.”

Strong words, eh? Yep, I was actually thinking now that I could have been so harsh at him that time. But I thought I still gave him that chance even if I am positive I did a “judgment thing” back there. I prayed to God to lead me in this area though. 😀

But there were also moments wherein “sweet as honey” is an understatement if I am to describe our quality time together. But do take note that our definitions of “sweet” can be relative but I’ll just describe my own definition anyhow. One of them was when I was eating this Cornetto ice cream and when he looked at me, he started laughing then approached me, gave me a tight hug and started showering me with kisses. He was amused obviously and told me he finds me like a cute kid. So I thought what was cute with a girl eating an ice cream which is quite a very normal thing. It was only after I was done eating and I went to the bathroom did I see in the mirror that there were ice cream streaks on my nose, my chin and sides of my mouth – like a child indeed. I didn’t know I eat ice cream as messy as that. lol *wink*

Another precious moment was when he dropped by a drugstore after a 2-hour travel from work to buy me medicines when I was having this migraine and how good it felt when he gave me a massage on the head to alleviate the pain. Such moments were priceless. They’re even better than the medication itself. Aside from that, he went ahead and bought us dinner and a juice drink because I wasn’t feeling well, I can’t prepare dinner and can’t leave the house. Unfortunately though, I got used to having him around most of the time, I feel so alone when he is not around. Yet I know this is God’s reminder re idolatry – no other thing or person before God. I should learn to rely on to God for my security, comfort and happiness and not solely on my husband.

There were also moments like when I was “Ms. Amnesia” and I keep on forgetting one or two ingredients from the grocery list and when I am about to cook, I would suddenly remember the ingredient. Ugh, definitely frustrating on my part and yet when I ask my hubby if he could buy me those ingredients at the wet market near our place, he would willingly do so even though he’s just got back from work. Aaah yes, this is just one of those moments that I so appreciate and love my husband – just like my Dad. ❤

I am grateful too for my husband for fulfilling the provider role 100% as he is the only one working. I am jobless by force. lol Graduate study and thesis work demanded I go full time with it. I do get to earn a little in other ways but it was hubby’s earnings that we solely rely on and yet God as the ultimate source of our provisions. Glad to say Brian and I aren’t just surviving but thriving. God is the great source of everything indeed.

One thing I admire about my husband though is when he would look after my needs before his. There’s this one time I asked him that we should buy new shorts because he’s been wearing the ones he has now for almost a decade already. He assured me there’s no need as they are all still wearable and yet when he saw that I needed to buy a laptop case, a new pair of jogging shoes, phone upgrade, etc. there he was insisting I buy them. He succeeded in convincing me because I experienced the inconvenience of not having them which inconvenienced him too. But no, like him, I don’t buy stuff if there really is no need.

There was one time too when we were watching this show and hubby and I were sort of playing the role of fashion police re a character’s shoes. Then he said out of the blue, “Hon when you start working, I am going to buy you stilettos.”

I’m like, “That’s nice of you Hon but I can’t wear stilettos in school, not especially if I am going to be a Special Education teacher.”

Then hubby insisted, “But Honey, stilettos look good on you. I don’t see any reason why you can’t wear them in school.”

Getting a bit impatient I added, “But stilettos are party shoes Hon and you only wear them on formal occasions.”

He insisted yet again, “The pointed shoes, Hon?”

Me: “Oh Honey, you mean pumps?” LOL

Brian: “Ohhhhh they’re called pumps. How would I know what’s it called, I am a guy.”

Well, I can’t blame him, can I? 😉

I consider simple, mundane moments as memorable especially when they make a huge impact in our lives like when I slowly taught him how to do things around the house and though he doesn’t like it at first, he finally got it when I told him it is in preparation for parenthood. I can’t be grateful enough and proud how he does things now on his own.

Or that time when I had this craving for a cheeseburger and asked him to buy one for me not taking into consideration there are different types of cheeseburgers. I was craving for the classic with the pickles but he bought the newest addition to cheeseburgers. It was okay but I wasn’t craving for it so I ended up telling him that I actually wanted the original. 😀

What happened next was something I did not expect. He offered to buy me the right cheeseburger. Yay! He actually just got back from work and a two-hour travel time and yet here he is offering to buy me a new one at the middle of our dinner. I asked him if it is okay with him and he said yes because I wouldn’t be enjoying my dinner anyhow. So out he went and bought the right one for me. I know he was tired from work and yet he still chose to go out and buy me a new one. To return the favor, I gave him a full body massage for about an hour which he did appreciate so much. 🙂

Those moments too when I saw a missing button in his office uniform and offered to mend it, he suggested that there is no need for he keeps it that way. Or when I saw him wearing a shirt that’s not been ironed and told him I’d iron it first but he insisted he likes it that way. Indeed, the world of two opposites – the OC and the not OC, that’s what we are. 😉

There were times when he’d also come home bringing three kinds of food for dinner and one was especially for me – he knows my favorite even without asking. Or that moment when I am “Miss OC” and he is “Mr. Laidback” and when he wakes up, he puts his deo on the desk and when I wake up, I put it back on top along with other beauty products. I find it so funny now that that kind of routine happened for about a month without me telling him what to do. I just thought he’d “duplicate” my actions if every time he wakes up and before using his deo, he would see it along with the other beauty products, without me saying a word – it worked. lol

I also had this fascinating discovery I found with my husband. Though I didn’t study dream psychology in our discipline, I made this experiment on him just for fun. My hubby grits his teeth during his R.E.M. and it disrupts my sleep big time being the light sleeper that I am. I do not want to disturb his sleep if I wake him up thus the experiment – every time he would start to grit, I just call out an expression of endearment to him and he would instantly stop. I know it has something to do with how the brain receives the sound and connects it with a memory that is pleasing, happy or calm. According to research, gritting happens due to stress. It became an amusing field of experiment for me as I watch him closely every time he is asleep and starts to grit and I would call out to him softly – he really does stop right away and it is effective all the time. Well, that is if I’m also awake. But if I’m in my deep sleep too, then I’ll be praying for our neighbors who’ll be the ones to hear it. *wink*

Seriously, I know love never demands and yet I honestly am guilty about this. I see it not as demands though but setting the boundaries in a marriage. Honestly too, in our critical times as a couple, I think I have asked the question to myself if he is really the one for me or I have made the wrong decision when I chose to marry him. But as months grew longer of us being a couple, I started to realize that God never makes mistakes nor did He plans for things to fail. It is the other way around – always for our own good.

PRESERVING THE LOVE: My 2-year old preserved rose from our very first Valentine’s Day date when hubby was my bf then.

I see myself loving my husband even more now. I appreciate having him around and my love for him just goes deeper with every conflict and struggle that we go through and overcome together. I know he is God’s best for me. I used to be blinded by the negativity of my situations around me and in front of us and yet I see it now that God wanted me to trust Him, honor what He has given me and train myself to look at the finish line and not the journey per se nor how rocky or smooth the road is.

If this is a test of character, then I have to go thru it and pass it according to God’s standards. But more importantly, God gave me an answer that yes, I can trust my husband if I trust God first that my husband will be leading me and our future family and that yes, I have made the right decision in choosing him as my husband.

I once asked my husband why a couple has to have opposite types of personalities and backgrounds and he said just like what everybody says that it is for a couple to complement one another. Yes, God knows better than all of us so why question everything around us? Maybe all we need to recognize is the fact that God is in control of everything and settle for that.

“God has different plans for each of us. We might feel that others have an easier assignment, or a more glamorous role to play. But if our loving Father has handpicked us for our task, who are we to whisper, “I can’t do this”?” – ODB

I know this is just the beginning and just a few of the memories that my husband and I are going to build and share together until death do us part. If you will notice, I have only shared the good memories from the past year which, as we all know, are not what only happens in married life for real. But I thought it best to share the good stuff to maintain the positivity and the good vibes. It is God that I intend to glorify anyway and not the enemy. 🙂

Indeed, it is not the accomplishments nor the possessions we have in life that will sustain us come old age, but our relationship with God and the people closest to us whom we love and love us back. We have so many things to be grateful for and those are the things that are simple, mundane, mediocre and oftentimes we take for granted. All we need to do is appreciate them as part of God’s blessings to us – like having a spouse for one. No other couple relationship is as fulfilling, as secure and as meaningful as the one bound by God and the Holy Matrimony.

To the married folks out there, keep the laughter and the love overflowing between you and your spouse at all times putting God at the center. ❤ 🙂

“For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised and uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” – Galatians 5:6

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” – Hebrews 13:4

“Giving honor to marriage will require the utmost in Christian conviction and sensitivity. Modern social theory may redefine the family, and the new definitions may be far from its biblical foundation. What can you do? Witness to the depth of God’s love for you by keeping your marriage happy and strong. Remain faithful-in body and in mind. Pray for your spouse. Honor biblical marriage (consenting man-woman unions) by resisting political pressure to recognize and legalize other sexual preferences. Teach children the biblical meaning of marriage. Pray early for their own eventual spouses and families. Make marriage enrichment the goal of your small group discussions and study. Encourage the marriages around you to stay strong as well.” – You Version Devotion

P.S./P.R.

Okay, the P.R. there stands for the Praise Report. 😀

We are finally connected with a couples’ victory group in church that fits to our schedule. This is one of my faith goals ever since we got married and been praying about it since then. But I am continuously praying this will be the spiritual family that Brian and I will be growing together as we tread on the season of married life. There are also other things, amazing and surprising things, that I’d like to thank God for but I thought I’ll just keep that between me and God in my quiet time with Him – this post is already too long. 😉

A Father’s Day Special: Courageous

Posted on June 17, 2016 by Christine Lailani

This movie review is a Father’s Day tribute to honor the roles of the father in the family and in society. If you are wondering why I don’t have a Mother’s Day tribute here in my blog for this year, hubby and I went home to my province and celebrated it with my 69-year-old Mom and 91-year-old grandma – two great matriarchs in my family.

Circumstances won’t allow me to visit my hometown again and celebrate Father’s Day this June 19 with my 76-year-old Dad. I thought about honoring my Dad here instead. Since he is not updated with the technology-driven world, he’d probably joke around saying what I wrote about him over social media will already “expire” before it reaches him. Yup, that’s how funny my Dad is. 😉

Before I proceed with the movie review, I’d like to share some snippets on who my Dad is. My brother wrote an essay about him 11 years ago, which was selected as one of the articles read during the graduation rites of my brother’s class (Sanlingan 2005) at the Philippine Military Academy. When the announcer started reading Kuya’s essay during the ceremony, there came the gushing and shedding of tears – our tears. It did bring us all to tears because my brother was right, our Dad is “The Unsung Hero” and yet loved and respected by all.

Our Dad is a man of few words and yet he cracks the silliest of jokes. He is seldom the disciplinarian and yet when discipline comes from him, we all remembered this need to hide as his discipline would mean leaving a mark for the rest of your life. He seldom gets angry but when he does, it is the kind of anger that you would not want to see.

I am grateful though to my Dad that he got to “discipline” us. If it wasn’t for this, our lives might be in a total mess right now and without direction. Now that I am a believer, I have learned that discipline in a family is very important not to show who’s the boss in the household, but for parents to guide their children in the right way because they love them and only because they wanted the best for them. It’s just like how God, a Father to His sons and daughters, disciplines and rebukes us so we could live fruitful and better lives.

My Mom is never the stage mom type and when I was in grade school, I was always invited to participate in dance numbers, presentations, oral declamations, etc. So you’ve probably guessed who was with me most of the time during these activities – my Dad. 😀

It is a #FlashbackFriday today so please allow me to backtrack a little bit to when I was in grade school just to share some photos of moi and the extra curricular activities I have mentioned:

Sitting in with the Grade 1 class as I am still a year younger.

Before there was Walking Dead, there was zombie dance. lol Seriously, this is a Hawaiian dance number.

Loving my childhood because of Girl Scout Camping. This was during our hiking and swimming at Obou Falls.

Competed with other schools in the folk dance category during the Literary & Musical Contest.

School play during my last year in grade school and played the role Thisbe in the Greek story

I’d just like to give credit to my Dad for being our all-time photographer – these photos and memories wouldn’t have been made possible. Nope, I am not a Daddy’s girl and I do not consider myself as one. I never experienced being so absolutely clingy to my Dad, but at some point I did feel a deeper connection with him more than my Mom when I was in high school. But when I got into college, I felt that both my parents did so well in raising me and my siblings, and they never had any “favorite” among the five of us.

I believe one thing that I am forever grateful to God for is the fact that I grew up with both my parents present through every milestone that we went through. Though we all had to leave home when we all went to college, we always looked forward to the days when we will all come home together and both our parents were there to welcome us.

As for my Dad, I admired him for being a civil engineer by weekdays and farmer by weekends (tending farms is difficult) just to make sure we have enough for all our expenses as a family, while Mom was a grade school teacher on weekdays and stayed at home cleaning, gardening, cooking, and doing take-home work on weekends. But this kind of setup didn’t mean Dad had no time for us at home. It was, on the other hand, quite the opposite. Despite juggling through a lot of responsibilities at work and at home, my Dad made sure all our needs (not just material things) were well-provided for including emotional support, bonding time, etc.

Dad, the civil engineer, fresh from oath taking during his late 20s.

Dad, the farmer, and me, the farm girl. I mean, the photographer. ;-)

I’d like to share at this point a little trivia on me – I was Daddy’s little maid. We all are actually, but I believe it is more of a “youngest” thing. *wink* Yes, every time he cuts grass in the garden with the lawn mower and he was all sweaty, you’ll hear him calling out to his “errand girl”:

“Nen (my nickname which is short for Nene)! Please get me a glass of cold water and towelette and wipe my back dry.”

Then, after a hard day’s work at the farm, Daddy would ask me to give him a back massage while he is resting. When I was little, back massages for my Dad meant doing my “cat walk” on his back while he’s lying face down. Well, that was when I was still skinny and little. When I grew older, it became just the regular back massage.

It was only when I was in college and the only child in the family still studying that my parents were able to gather enough funds for our house to have it completely constructed – the product of all their hard work, patience, and perseverance. But it is more than just constructing a house that they have built – they have built something greater in us over the years.

While reminiscing our younger moments spent with our parents, it just dawned on me how we were taught to value hard work over riches and accumulation of possessions, why quality time with loved ones is better than splurging and being with a lot of people on grand occasions, and being content with whatever we have. They didn’t particularly instruct us with Bible verses on how to live our lives, but now that I am slowly learning the Bible day by day, I realized that my parents brought us up according to the Scripture – live life simply with fear in the Lord.

To end this part, I’d like to share this text message that my Dad texted me about a difficult situation that I am going through. This was in the vernacular (Bicol), so I’d just translate it for you:

“As long as you trust in yourself, you trust in God and if it is meant for you, it will and it will come.”

Of course, Mom also has something similar regarding another event which I informed her yesterday:

Never mind the exclamation point because my Mom wasn’t angry nor excited, she just wanted to emphasize the last statement. That is how my Mom texts – stressed words in capital letters accompanied by exclamation points at the end a.k.a. generation gap. lol I’m just kidding. It’s a good thing my Mom doesn’t read this. But if she does, errrr, love you Mom! 😀

Another thing, praise God for Skype – long distance relationships are now easier to deal with. After reading this, you might have this impression that he is a perfect man. But honestly, like any Dad in this world, he is not perfect, too. Well, let’s just say he’s close to being perfect. I chose to see him that way despite his imperfections. He is our hero, anyway.

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

A portrait of Mom and Dad talen in 2012. 🙂

Courageous: The Movie

Now, let’s get on to the movie review. This is, by far, one of the best movies I have watched that focused on fathers. If I have to commend the Kendricks brothers for producing such great Christian films, it’s because a majority of the scenes portrayed all depicted real-life scenarios. Although we can say that some were tweaked to fit the entire theme of the movie. If all the scenes were to happen in real life though, some may take quite some time to happen, unlike how the timeline progressed in the movie.

Not all relationships and marriages are the same. They’re always a case-by-case basis and yet watching this movie now made me realize what to expect and what to do if time comes I am faced with the same situations. I highly encourage all the young men out there, fathers, and soon-to-be fathers to watch this film, and I am praying you will step up to the place that God has called you to be – as Godly leaders and future leaders of your homes. My husband and I watched this film together, and what he blurted to me after watching was this,

“Honey, can you look up on the internet for more movies like that?”

Ah yes, that’s an affirmation, a positive response. I was just glad that was the kind of response that the movie elicited from him. I wasn’t expecting anything at all regarding my husband’s reaction though I did my research what the movie was all about prior to watching. I just thought we’ll view it like any regular “chill time” movie that we come across and watch during rest days.

Praise God for sending the Spirit to guide and prepare our hearts, minds, and souls on how we are going to interpret the movie. I only recommend movies if I rated it with 5 stars (very good) meaning it made such a life-changing impact on me i.e. how I view things, how it changed my perspective on certain things, such as my lifestyle, my attitude, and my character, and so on. So yes, please do watch this movie.

Hubby and I watched it a couple of weeks ago, and we both agreed this is the perfect movie to watch on Father’s Day. Thus, I’ll cut this short for now and let you watch it. But first, don’t forget to shower your Dad with much love and appreciation on his special day as a father. 🙂

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE FATHERS and most especially to my ONE, GREAT FATHER from up above, FATHER GOD! ❤

RESOLUTION

“…I now believe that God desires for EVERY father to courageously step up and do whatever it takes to be involved in the lives of his children. But more than just being there providing for them, he is to walk with them through their young lives and be a visual representation of the character of God, their father in heaven.

A father should love his children, and seek to win their hearts. He should protect them, discipline them, and teach them about God. He should model how to walk with integrity and treat others with respect, and should call out his children to become responsible men and women, who live their lives for what matters in eternity.

Some men will hear this, and mock it. Or ignore it. But I tell you that as a father, you are accountable to God for the position of influence He has given you. You can’t fall asleep at the wheel, only to wake up one day and realize that your job or your hobbies have no eternal value, but the souls of your children do.

Some men will hear this and agree with it, but have no resolve to live it out. Instead, they will live for themselves, and waste the opportunity to leave a godly legacy for the next generation.

But there are some men, who regardless of the mistakes we’ve made in the past, regardless of what our fathers did NOT do for us, will give the strength of our arms and the rest of our days to loving God with all that we are and to teach our children to do the same.

And whenever possible to love and mentor others who have no father in their lives, but who desperately need help and direction. And we are inviting any man whose heart is willing and courageous, to join us in this resolution.

In my home, the decision has already been made. You don’t have to ask who will guide my family, because by God’s grace, I will. You don’t have to ask who will teach my son to follow Christ, because I will.

Who will accept the responsibility of providing and protecting my family? I will. Who will ask God to break the chain of destructive patterns in my family’s history? I will. Who will pray for, and bless my children to boldly pursue whatever God calls them to do? I am their father. I will.

I accept this responsibility and it is my privilege to embrace it. I want the favor of God and His blessing on my home. Any good man does. So where are you men of courage? Where are you, fathers who fear the Lord? It’s time to rise up and answer the call that God has given to you and to say I will. I will. I will!”

– Adam Mitchell, COURAGEOUS

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My Version of “Happy Poverty”

A Commitment As A Married Couple

Trust-worthy reminders to live by:

Deepened Trust

God is Never an Impatient God

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5 Wrong Reasons Why You Should Settle Down

1. Never settle for comfort and convenience.

2. Never settle out of peer pressure or for validation.

3. Never settle for the sake of “leveling up” or “singlehood” is starting to become a bore.

4. Never settle for money.

5. Never settle because looks captivated you.

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8 Practical Tips to Apply During Conflict Resolution

1. Treat every disagreement as a landmine.

2. Keep the discussion to a maximum of 1 hour.

3. To make sure you will resolve the conflict in an hour, discuss only the issue at hand.

4. For you to discuss things means it has to be a two-way convo.

5. Do not interrupt when your spouse is explaining.

6. Refrain from making sarcastic remarks and most especially, curses.

7. Focus on resolving the issue at hand.

8. After discussing, don’t leave the conversation abruptly.

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