December: Revival and Reconciliation

What’s with December? December is everything – the time to be busy and be mellow at the same time. 😉

Paulo Coehlo’s planner is always in tune with the seasons I am in. Always.

I finally had the time to make this article real quick after finishing today’s article due at work and a whole lot more of tasks in-between. Busy as always. But being busy for me means being able to include my 1-hour guitar playing, a couple of minutes of social media time, checking the plants, doing my daily devotion, and other “me time” moments along with the other regular tasks. 🙂

My bro-in-law and sister from Norway are also here and they got to spend their first Christmas in the Philippines as a couple in their new home. It is also our home (hubby and me) for the meantime since we look after it while they’re away.

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I thought my bougainvillea won’t bloom but it did – one set of white bracts. Finally. 😀 So yes, there is always hope. 😉

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Thank you, Ate Ayn and Kuya TK! ❤

Thank God for the gift of family, I very much appreciated talking to my Norwegian bro-in-law who’s 10 years my senior. He’s also a born-again Christian and he and I got to talk so much about faith. Through the entire course of our conversations, I can say that our religious beliefs are aligned with one another although we have different cultures – praying for Every Nation Norway. 😀 Indeed, I am extremely grateful for the fellowships in my biological family.

My brother also invited them to attend the Sunday church service led by a former pastor in Victory QC where I was baptized as a born-again Christian. So attending this church service was a revival of some sort for me. It brought back memories of how I was saved back in 2013 – nostalgia, yes.

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“God is sovereign over all things.”

If I’ll summarize the series for this month in the church, the words “reconciliation” and “revival” will pop up. And this is basically what December means – the season when God reconciled with the man by sending His Son Jesus here on Earth to revive us from our sins and to be with us always.

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Personally, these two words have so much meaning and greater impact on me because of the current season I’m in. And yes, I can only hope in the Lord that all things work together for our own good. But for now, all I can do is wait with a joyful and grateful heart.

I am looking forward though to better days ahead starting with the holiday season. This is, thus, a heads up to even busier days ahead. Am I seeing a social media hibernation? Perhaps yes or perhaps not. We’ll see. 😀 ❤

It is beginning to look like Christmas in the neighborhood. 😀

To end this article, I’d like to share a couple of verses with you and I hope you’ll be encouraged by them, too:

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God.

We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.”

– 2 Corinthians 4:8‭-‬10

Revived again and again through the Cross,

Resting in His Saving and Amazing Grace

“Do one thing: Live the life you always wanted to live. Avoid criticizing others and concentrate on fulfilling your dreams. This may not seem very important to you, but God, who sees all, knows that the example you give is helping Him to improve the world. And each day, He will bestow more blessings upon it.”

– Manuscript of Accra, Paulo Coehlo

I can see the cursor blinking in and out like an ellipsis….

So many words and yet so many ways to tell, undecided…

….how do I begin? 🙂

Yes, how do I begin testifying to a series of events that piled up already and yet I couldn’t find the “tugging” to post them until just now? *wink* Honestly, I still don’t have the slightest idea how to arrange the thoughts which have been sitting as a draft since February here in WordPress and share them. Yet I can only trust the Spirit’s leading on how the wordplay will come about in this post.

The posts in this blog for the past 2-3 years have been about nothing else but faith. This was how God intended it to be. Though for the first year of this blog I was grappling on what to write about, now, it is the other way around – I am battling with time for the numerous pending posts that I needed to write and post.

For March, it’ll summarize what went on from February until March. My January post summarized what transpired in the months of December and January. The month of March was about marching forward and yes, the character trait for March is CLARITY. As for February, it was AFFECTION  (do read January post for this one.) 🙂

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February: AFFECTION

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March: CLARITY

This might explain why I was missing in the blogosphere for the month of February and why this post is super long (sorry about that, friends). February was the month of settling things – again, not a coincidence, but I have learned to rely on God’s plans all along even though some are hard to accept, some are hard to understand, and some are impossible to achieve. But then, that is one tough responsibility of a Christian and that is everyone’s calling too – live by faith and not by sight.

Last December, everything was unraveled. It was a moment of choosing among a multitude of choices and tough decisions. Every flaw, every need and every concern were brought out in the open. I have thought for that moment it might seem such an endless feat of emotional roller coaster and yet God had been faithful enough.

Fast forward to January, the start of 2017 was also the start of the turnaround of events. When seasons change and the comfort zone is no longer part of the next plans, it could be daunting. But as it was written, For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

February was a month jam-packed of events. When you are caught in a whirlwind of events, oftentimes a “soul check” may come as the least of your priorities. But in faith, it is the other way around – a “soul check” is necessary and should be the top priority before everything else. That was what happened in the last few months, a question of am I doing it God’s way or not. I’ll just mention a few and most of them actually were answered prayers – prayers that I never thought I have prayed and yet silently in my heart, I did. Only God sees our hearts, anyway.

Maybe that is the reason why fulfillment in those answered prayers never really came from receiving the actual answer to the prayer per se but more about how God listens and how great He is to provide even the most impossible. It was all about God in the end, never about our desires but a satisfied desire on both our end and God’s that thru this fulfillment, we have established a kindred spirit and a deeper and personal relationship with our Creator. It is all a matter of communicating between Him and you alone – the ONLY thing that He asks from us.

So let’s begin the long journey of disclosing in this online journal what traversed in my moment of hibernation in the blogosphere starting February.

The incident:

A convo between my husband and I took place wherein I asked him what is it that he wants best in this life. His answer made me smile and speechless at the same time making me wonder where he could possibly be generating all these answers. My best guess – the heart. Who really am I to judge, indeed? I don’t see the heart, God does. 😉

“I don’t want material things but eternal rest.” 

We came to that point wherein we had that (serious) husband and wife contemplation about priorities, the future and life in general. I can say that throughout the moments since I got saved, I did not regret any decision I have made which included my decision to marry. It is only through the entire duration of our years together as a married couple did I get to see why God gave me my husband in particular – I had so many answered prayers through my husband. It is either an answered prayer to that change I have been rooting to do internally but don’t have the guts to discipline myself or the big and small things that I have been wanting in my heart but never expressed them openly.

But God, once again, proved Himself faithful all throughout.

I have always wondered what if I married another man. Will he be patient, understanding and forgiving enough as my husband is right now to me and my circumstances? I oftentimes ask my husband how he feels regarding our situation and ask him to be patient with me as well and what I am going through. His answer was always a gentle, “I understand.” Though he would always say that, I know that he is sacrificing so much for both of us and as his partner, I have felt this inadequacy when it comes to fulfilling my role and my duties as a wife.

Starting the month of January until now, this was personally, for me, a season of instability. Firstly, every married couple gets to deal with financial difficulties and this season, my husband and I are going through with our own fair share. We have decided to finally move out from the apartment that my sisters and I have been living in for the past 20 years though it was only me who lived in the place for the last 7 years. We have decided to relocate near his workplace as it is more convenient for him and he gets to rest right away after work.

But this posed as a problem since I have no work when we both decided to move out and we are relying on my husband’s income alone for our daily expenses. If you’ll do the numbers from bills to necessities plus all the home stuff that we have to buy, the total suggested more funds. I did get a job. It was a convenient one but, unfortunately, it was not from my field of expertise and ironically, my water loo too – finance. Yes, it has something to do with numbers and money.

If you are wondering how I ended up in that job, I don’t know too. 😀 But I know God has a reason why because I got that job just 3 days after we moved in our new apartment. We were able to buy some of the basic stuff that we need at home. But as you all know it, I had to let the job go. I will not be able to give my best if it is something that I am not familiar with or is not my cup of tea. Numbers make me cringe and the fear of committing a mistake when it comes to computing plus the fact that it deals with money just proved that I might regret it later if I stayed longer.  Another thing too, the worry of it all just took the better part of me and stress replaced what used to be a hopeful and positive attitude – I first thought I should give it a try. Employment equates to stress but when I started having stomach problems, difficulty sleeping at night and puking for no reason at all, I know I have to make a decision.

I wanted to go back to teaching. It was actually the very reason I stated when I resigned. The calling of being a teacher is greater. But then again, we all know that a teaching job is even more challenging when it comes to classroom management, multitasking, time management, etc. Again, no employment is ever easy and stress-free. But then again, I did want to try it out. Here came the opportunity – I had everything carefully and perfectly planned out so I’d get the job. But here came unprecedented circumstances which for the first few, I was able to gain control over but it required my husband and me to stay up until past midnight. I was able to pull it off. The next day I woke up with my estimated schedule. Everything should be smooth sailing until news came that the MRT 3 broke down and became operational only at 8am. I didn’t give up. If commuting was not an option then I’d go for the GRAB car – I was wrong. Since majority of the stranded commuters chose other alternatives of commuting, traffic was inevitable and it was worse than the usual. I decided by then that I had to let the opportunity go because it only means that it wasn’t intended for me. If I still pursued it then most likely I’ll be going against the grain of fate and will meet more unfortunate events along the way.

I am well aware of the idea to keep on swimming ahead even if the vision before you is hazy or the waters seem to be too deep and troubled or the shore is nowhere to be seen, figuratively speaking. But I am also well aware that from what I have experienced so far, if everything seems to be failing even if you have tried all possible attempts in getting things right, it only means it is beyond your control and God has intended a different plan for you. It could be God’s way of preventing you from any future loss/failure, future pain, even more hassle and inconvenience than intended.

So I asked God why I can’t have a regular office job. That moment of quietude with Him and me asking all these sort of questions trying to make sense of what has happened and what is happening came to a final halt – a matter of life and death.

I have already mentioned this a couple of times in my previous blog posts and health wise, I know I have nothing to fear. In the recent medical checkup I came clear but if I am not cautious enough i.e. check my lifestyle, sleeping patterns, food intake, physical activity, etc., and all these accumulated through the years could mean my ending up in a hospital bed earlier than expected.

I have to be cautious with everything.

I am not claiming it but I know it as a fact that I am a carrier of cancer genes. It was a generational curse – it didn’t skip a generation starting from my great grandmother (we don’t know if it started even way before her generation) to my grandmother then to my Mom. They were all breast cancer survivors. Most likely you’ll tell me I will survive too. 🙂

Yes, by faith and by God’s saving grace I know I will. But then it should not be reason enough for me to be complacent. My great grandmother, grandmother and Mom spent most of their lives in the province – a laid back lifestyle, pure simplicity, a fresh and clean environment and less complicated than city life. I spent half of my life in the metro starting college which was the opposite.

Again. I have to be more cautious.

If you will notice, I referred to breast cancer in the past tense because I am declaring that starting from my generation, not one among my 3 sisters and I will have breast cancer how many years from now and that the future generations of our family will be free of this generational curse.

There’s another generational curse too that I am declaring for my family and relatives and the future generations in our blood line to be free from starting with our generation but due to its sensitivity, I chose to keep it confidential.

These generational curses have no cure – ONLY God can deliver us from these curses. Not even the fields of medicine and science have the capacity to provide a lasting treatment/solution.

But,

“We can face the reality of our own mortality because we trust in God.” – Our Daily Bread

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12

Another thing too, my husband and I have been trying to have a child but time declared we can’t have one as of yet. We did talk about it and he told me that whatever God’s will is, he is happy and content either way.

That, I absolutely and unquestioningly agree upon. I did tell him though that as much as I’d want to have a child, I wouldn’t want to raise a child and let him suffer in this world or be punished for the mistakes that his parents did or bear the generational curse passed on to him. If part of the sacrifice that we have to make in order to break the generational curse is to be childless, then we have to honor it.

But then again, it entirely depends on what God’s will is and what His plans are. Indeed,

“As you do not know the way the Spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.” – Ecclesiastes 11:5

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

The generational curses and the current situation my husband and I are going through both have one thing in common – stress as the triggering factor.

Looking back to what I had to give up, they were standards that this world dictated as what should be accomplished and yet it all equated to stress. When I gave up my graduate study, I asked myself if it is worth it especially when my eczema attacks started showing up again, I had to deal with black spots in my legs which lasted for how many months and I experienced tension headaches/migraines which lasted for 3 days twice a month. I also had to give up the liberty and privilege of working in the corporate world or in my field of expertise.

Do I have regrets? Certainly not. My decision to not conform to the terms of this world won’t rob me of my dignity and make me less of a woman, will it? My identity no longer is attached to those titles that this world offer but to the title that God has given me – His princess and His loving daughter.

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My situation now? God showed me other alternatives. I know God did not give me skills just to see them all go to waste until I die and not be able to contribute to this world and help humanity in any way – it’ll make Him unhappy. 😀 I told my husband he need not worry because there are a lot of home-based jobs available for me in the fields of teaching and writing, my two best fortes, if I really need to get a professional job as a means to get an income. There are so many of them actually in different fields of expertise and if I will be “takaw tingin,” I’d prefer having at least 2 since their schedules are usually flexible. BUT, God will definitely say “No.” 😀

In addition, I have witnessed a lot of female friends who shifted from being corporate employees to staying at home, being a full-time Mom and housewife with a home-based job, stressed also but FULFILLED receiving the same salary that she gets if she works in the office spending energy and time commuting, coming home extremely exhausted and has no time for her family.

Yes, fulfillment makes all the difference, right? Even if you are paid triple of what a regular wage earner gets if the fulfillment isn’t there, work will just be equated to work per se in all technical aspect of the term. Aside from that, “whatever it is that our hearts value, there our treasure will be also.” The bad thing about this is if we’re putting our hope on treasures that are temporary and will eventually fade away. Building relationships with people I love are important to me – quality time is my love language. I want to invest more in it – being with my family.

What else?

As of the late, my husband asked me if I could do commissioned work for my sketching hobby after I posted the sketch (next blog article) I did of him during his birthday last May 4. He told me that one of his Mom’s friends asked if I could do their family portrait and his Mom and brother also requested the same along with a few of my relatives and friends ever since I posted some of my previous sketches. My answer was an unsure “let’s see.” 😀

If God gives us a talent as a gift, He has a very good purpose behind it all and honestly, I am not yet confident enough to take my sketching hobby to a higher level. 😀 It’s been 15 years since I started this hobby out of my need to have an outlet when things and times get rough. I am not confident as well to tag a price in each of my art work. I intended to give them for free actually and make the recipient of the art work happy – my ultimate goal as an artist. But if God instructs I have them paid, then I believe I should. Now this, I need to really pray hard as I don’t want to disappoint those who have requested to have their sketches done and there are a lot of them pending requests already. I just need more time to pray to God about it and wait for His answers. *insert wide smile here*

Another opportunity also came about my putting up a restaurant/café after hubby and I made this special burger recipe and his brother insisted we make it as a business as he knows someone who can be our supplier.  I told him we talked about this option but we have chosen my hometown in Bicol as our business location – yup, you guessed that right, too far. My 3rd sister and I have actually planned about this already and came up with the concept for the café and went through the basics of business analytics and management and the only thing she said was that it won’t materialize if I am not there with her to get things started and to keep them running. One of my hobbies is cooking and experimenting with different recipes but eating the food I cooked is not part of them. lol I believe I am to blame if hubby gained a lot of weight after we got married. Ooops, not my real intention there though. 😀 I just want to cook for other people and it makes me happy when they are happy with the dishes I serve them. Again, this is another prayer for my prayer line when it comes to wisdom, guidance and instruction.

Honestly, I was never after the money nor the recognition – getting compensated for the things I love to do and the things that God has gifted me with in terms of talents and skills. I’d like to contribute and share them to society and be able to make every individual happy and fulfilled or if what I contributed could help them in any other way regardless if I’d get anything in return or not (awards, recognition, money, etc.). I only needed money for survival and for now, that is what my hubby and I needed – for our daily needs but never to satisfy our wants and live in excess.

Moreover, I told my husband that if time comes God blessed us with more than we needed, I will retain the kind of lifestyle I have now and would still prefer the same living conditions – not a lavish nor grand lifestyle but a simple, minimalist one. Again, by having only the things that I need and never the things that I want.

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Mark 10:21

But as we all know it, I can plan so many things, have so many choices and wonderful opportunities to choose from and small and big decisions to make and yet, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” – Proverbs 19:21

Thus, I rest my case. 😀

For all the generational curses, the lifestyle check, the shift in opportunities, the continued pursuit of God’s will in my life – they were not because I live in fear but because I have fear in the Lord and if obedience is what He requires of me in this season so He can usher me towards what He desires for my life, then I should, by all means comply, stop figuring out this life on my own and rest in His saving grace.

Solution? Pray harder and trust God and His plans even harder.

[In prayer we call on God “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.”] – Ephesians 3:20

Oh and I think I forgot to mention that in my Paulo Coehlo planner-turned-spiritual journal, April’s character trait is COOPERATION and May is FAITH.

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April: COOPERATION

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May: FAITH

Did God say, “Tin, you must cooperate with me and have faith?” I think He just did that’s why I wrote this. *insert wide smile here again* 😀

“Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” – 2 Corinthians 7:1

P.S.

For the first quarter of year 2017, my life/planner went from having TOLERANCE (January), giving AFFECTION (February), to achieving CLARITY (March), giving COOPERATION (April) and last but not the least, having FAITH (May). 🙂

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm for God can be trusted to keep His promises.” – Hebrews 10:23

“God can be trusted to guide us.” – Our Daily Bread

“…the challenge is to trust (in) God’s ability to lead rather than in our ability to follow.” – Genesis 12:1

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Courage: The Brighter Side

If there is one thing that faith, the church, our family and the spiritual family all point to, that would be to look at the brighter side of things. 🙂

The first few months of this year have been a struggle for me and my husband which includes everything about life in general i.e. careers, aspirations, adjustments, financial breakthroughs, settling differences, goals, etc. More trials turned up for the month of March which drove me to devote full time to gospel reading, bible study devotion and quiet times.

There were a lot of times that I asked God for guidance, courage and strength to withstand them all as there are times more often too that I felt like everything is a mess, in chaos, uncertain of what the future holds, and all I ever did/was doing was a mistake. Little did I know that God has everything planned out for me already – all I have to do is to be still.

In times of extreme trials, it is the Word that I turn to and it is prayers that held me through. I tried to find snippets of things that would give me hope and I just smiled when I realized how could I be so blind or how could I let my problems blind me from the Truth.

How could I not trust God at all? How could I speak so much about my faith when I can’t even rely on God’s power and greatness which rule this world and beyond?

Yes, as I have said in my previous articles, when it comes to faith you really have to make an affirmation each and every single day. Life is all about God, faith, and nothing else. As my brother would always tell me, “Life has always been a battle of faith.”

Speaking of my brother, God used him as the instrument for me to know what faith is all about, introduced me to a spiritual family which then helped me get out of the pit I was in and finally led me to my salvation. As our church leaders would instruct us, salvation is just the start of your spiritual journey. As much as you have been renewed, being a born again Christian does not exempt you from the perils and sorrows of this world – faith has only made you and your life storm-proof.

It was all God’s plans. As you begin to understand that every single day of your life comprises the millions of routes in God’s blueprints will you realize that it was God who brought you where you are now. But because most of the time our human selves do not have the capacity to explain our circumstances, we rely on them as what they seem to be.

Yet being the all-knowing God, He knows that too. This is probably the reason why He has already prepared us and what we will be needing through the next course of our lives here in this world. Going back to my brother, he and my sister-in-law have been the constant givers of my Paulo Coehlo planner since 2013, the year I got saved, as a Christmas gift – something that I am always grateful for.

Not that I am advertising but I believe God has aligned it to be this way – why I should get hold of this certain planner. This planner, aside from this blog, holds my day-to-day scribbling in my spiritual walk. It contains the verses of the day, my bible study devotion, my Our Daily Bread quotation, my prayer requests, my gratitude note, my problems and my breakthroughs.

What I love about this planner is that each month there is a value/character trait assigned to it and it just fascinates me that these character traits as well as the quotations in the pages depict so much of what I  have been going through.

There is no coincidence in God, something which I have learned since I got saved. I see this character trait as the one trait that I know God wanted me to have at that particular month/time of the year. It is just that I have to wait at what particular day of the month will I be needing this particular character trait.

For the month of March, this is the character trait: SURRENDER. 🙂

 

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How timely, how accurate, how helpful – amazing our God is, isn’t He? He knows everything. The general quotation for this month also reveals much of what I needed in my marriage.

The first blog post I wrote for this year was entitled “An Appreciative 2016” simply because I felt that this year will be full of trials and yet we needed to see the beauty of them all. One of my experiences that helped me see things in the Light was after completing a crucial life-changing event which was a test of patience and endurance. After the event, this was what I received from my Mom using my Dad’s number (my Dad always replies in the vernacular):

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My Mom is the authoritative type of parent. We don’t have the warm and cuddly mother and daughter relationship. YET, I have so many things that I should be thankful for when it comes to my Mom. For though we are so far away from each other and all my other siblings have their own priorities too in life and I used to live alone, my Mom just nailed it when she stressed out what I should be appreciating – the gift that God has given me which is a partner in life through a husband.

I smiled when I read it and of course, I can’t help but cry. Yes, I seldom receive text messages from my Mom because they are busy managing our house in the province and our farm, but when she does text, it is always something special – meaningful. Just that single text jolted me back to not see the negative things in my marriage but look at the brighter side of it.

I know I am not alone because I have learned to rely on God completely for the first two years of my life since I became a born-again Christian and I was living alone. I have devoted those two years in establishing a deeper and more personal relationship with God. God knows I needed that so when great trouble comes in the later years of my life, I know how to go back to Him.

Because I already know the Way, the Truth and the Life.

It is just that God reminded me that He gave me a husband for a reason and that once again, when troubles become overwhelming, SURRENDER. Just like how I surrendered 3 years ago. And after my “dark moments”  post on Facebook, I received a text message from an unidentified number. I am guessing the person is one of my sisters or brothers in Christ who have been touched by God to fulfill the role of being part of those “reminders.”  My extreme gratitude for this person whose heart belongs indeed to God. Praise God for your life my dear brother/sister.

And this was the text:

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Our spiritual leaders in church, at home or anywhere else in our society have been called by God to receive the gift of prophecy. My Mom is not a devoted Christian but she believes in God and the bible and if there is one trait that I would like to learn from her, that is having a foresight. As a kid, she would always refer it to us as ESP (Extrasensory Perception)  or being able to determine what a person will do next or knowing what will happen next. It is “sixth sense”  to some and foresight to many. As a born-again Christian now, I see it as having the gift of prophecy. She told us that we should learn it and cultivate it for it will become very handy in our future plans and how we do things. Yup, practical my Mom really is. *wink*

My brother’s foresight is now almost similar to my Mom and we sometimes tell him that maybe he is the one who got it all from Mom. I am guessing it is this foresight that made him give the Paulo Coehlo planner to me in the first place and the significance it’ll bring in my spiritual journey. If I am to compare my Mom and my brother, they have one thing in common – they see things differently than all the rest of us. To me, I see all darkness and blur and yet to them, they see the beauty of it all, the goodness of the darkness and the events that will follow after.

Now if I am to compare it with faith, it says the same thing – train ourselves to see the Light. You can only see the Light when you see things in a Godly perspective. That is, allowing God to take over in driving the path of your life. Again, SURRENDER.

During the bad times, I oftentimes try to take control in solving things out. During the bad times, I see my spouse so differently and very much in the dark. But my Mom, the text message, and the monthly character traits, they all point towards the Light.

I have maintained my calm even if I do not understand all things. I have accepted things for how they should be. I have to be content in patiently waiting for the beautiful promises of the Lord. I know the Lord remains faithful to those who surrender to Him and walk in obedience to His ways.

As I end this article, I just want to share that indeed, God has mysterious ways in changing your mindset about a lot of things. Negative things can really replace the good memories, the good times, the good qualities you have if you will allow them to. God cannot allow it even if you persist to think things that way. The way that He gave me hope is the assurance that things right now are never final, they are only temporary in contrast to what is to come.

I woke up today feeling still very sleepy. My husband asked me if we are ready to pray and I just nodded half awake, half asleep. Through the sleepiness in me, there was one word, just one word that woke up my spirit in full blast through his prayer – REFLECT. I never prayed about the coming Lenten Season. Here is my husband though praying about it and how we should spend it together – REFLECT.

This is the perfect word on how we all should commemorate what Jesus did on the Cross for us -an act of SURRENDER, to surrender out of His Father’s and His love for us. It is this love that is keeping this marriage together, it is this love that is changing me and my spouse as a person, and it is this love that is changing our lives every single day.

It is by God’s love that I have been saved, that my husband will be saved including our families and loving another person through a marriage is where God wants us to learn the basics of what love is. When God’s love is in our hearts completely, we can say with utmost boldness that nothing can ever compare to God’s love and who God really is.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

God knows that 2016 will be full of trials that’s why God reminded me of that at the start of the year. The character trait for this year in my planner and what I will be needing most is this: COURAGE.

This is the courage to be bold in defying the challenges, courage to seek the Light amid the darkness, courage to stand true to my faith whatever the odds and the courage to proclaim my faith all the more despite my imperfections and setbacks. 🙂

CouragePC

Day 3: FREEDOM

Today is July 2.

Today marks the last day of our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.

Today I declare FREEDOM. 🙂

thebottomofabottle.wordpress.com

thebottomofabottle.wordpress.com

I am claiming to be free from the stronghold of the enemy and I declare living a spirit free from condemnation, guilt and impurities.

When you are saved, you will always go back to that moment where you felt free and at peace. No place here on Earth can give you that except the Cross. With all the pain, the agony and the trauma, it is sometimes difficult to stand up and yet you know deep within yourself that you can never ever go back to who you were and into the darkness.

Eat, Pray, Love: A Woman’s Search For Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia is one of my favorite movies and books about faith, hope and love. I can totally relate to Julia Robert‘s character in the movie (Liz) and yes, I also came to this point:

There’s a crack (or cracks) in everyone…that’s how the light of God gets in.”  

 Elizabeth Gilbert; EAT, PRAY, LOVE

Calling out to God in prayer is the best way to be saved – to have a new life, a new start, a new spirit. Faith in God by trusting Him with all that you are and all that you have will lead you closer to Him and He will assure you and protect you with His presence and majestic power. Yes, some call them “miracles,” others “magic,” some “wonders,” but as for me I call them as God – the living God. 🙂

My Paulo Coehlo planner that my brother and my sister-in-law gave me last year as a Christmas gift played a huge role in my day to day spiritual journey for this year. And sometimes I just smile for yes, the quotes exactly describe what I am going through and/or what I needed to do.

Tin Ginete

July: Magic Moments

The month of July is an art work of blue, my favorite color. Blue signifies peace. And the phrase for this month is “MAGIC MOMENTS.”

This is also the quotation for this month:

“Anyone who pays close enough attention to each day will discover its magical moment.” 

– Paulo Coehlo, BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT

My devotion of the day in Our Daily Bread  shares a similar thought – it is about “A Flying Miracle.”

“O Lord, how manifold are Your works! In wisdom You have made them all. The earth is full of Your possessions.”

Psalm 104:24

Tin Ginete

Our Daily Bread/July 2: A Flying Miracle

And I just came across this music video by Big Daddy Weave entitled Overwhelmed which will speak so much of what God has made me see over the past days, weeks, months and years.

Yes, my July will be magical. Magical in the sense that I am believing for God’s miracles to take place. He already started it last night which I can refer to as my “revelations day.”  And I believe it is not the last that He will perform. I know I am in for a really “magical” ride for this month. One of the verses for today’s prayer and fasting devotion assures me of that:

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act.””

– Psalm 37:4-5

It was Grace that brought me to my knees, it was Grace that lifted me up and it was Grace that taught me who is GREATER.

I can only proclaim my freedom knowing deep inside me that no other god is like my GOD – the One who redeems and the One who saves. I am just excited for what God has in store for me. Yes, that’s how much I LOVE MY GOD. 😉

The following is the main verse for our mid-year prayer and fasting and while browsing through Eat, Pray, Love movie clips, I stumbled upon a music video by Mercy Me.

Please read the verse with your heart and watch the video – a perfect way to end this article and our mid-year prayer and fasting. To God be the GLORY! 😀

“Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am’…”

– Isaiah 58:8,9

In Limbo

I have been warned. I was educated. I was trained.

Yet I found myself in an unfavorable situation that could have erupted from the missed warnings. Or it was meant to be.

I question. Would love to question. Yet I can only accept. But do what I have now meant to be mine in the first place? Or again, it was the outcome of my deaf ears and a stubborn heart?

I have been hearing it. I have been seeing it. I have been feeling it. Everywhere I go. The signs are there. I know people have been praying for me, they wanted to protect me.

Protect me from what?

From falling into that state of oblivion, of being in limbo – the battle between good and evil.

Devoted but unequally yoked – this, I know, could be my sweetest downfall. Those who have met me may have prophesied it already. They are the ones who keep me on the right track. They will pray until I will be brought out of the pit. They pray for a sacrifice of letting go.

And yet there are those who pray that I stay. For God never gives us more than what we can handle. They believe it is yet a period in my spiritual journey where God is in the process of changing me so He could complete me. They pray for endurance, love and courage that I may overcome it.

A crossroad is never a good spot to be in. It is prone to collisions. It sets you in a state of confusion. It either gives life or death. Just like being in limbo.

In faith, a wrong decision could lead to spiritual death or it leads to the dawn of a new you. But one thing’s for sure, it will change you.

For this season, I am basically learning a lot about love and relationships in general. I get to apply what I learned and it is only now that I can say that our spiritual journey indeed never starts and ends in reading the bible, going to church and having fellowship with your sisters in Christ.

In this season, God is teaching me how to love the most unlovable; to understand and to have self – control when you wanted to have your way; to be calm when all you wanted was to flare up; to forgive always though you have been hurt countless of times; to ask for forgiveness because you have sinned again and was tested to the limit; to force yourself to trust despite of the dark past; to believe though your mind tells you otherwise; to be patient when all you wanted was to leave; to accept things when all you wanted was to change them; to sacrifice and give without expecting anything in return.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Matthew 5: 1-8 NIV

Yes, what we all need in this world is love. A love like how our God loved us.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 4:8

“Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love -and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT

It was through my devotion that the Spirit convicts me every time I am on the verge of quitting and setting aside things once and for all. I wanted to go back to who I was – not distracted in serving the Lord. And yet, it is also the Spirit who would pacify me that I am where I am supposed to be. I needed to get through this in order to continue on in my spiritual journey. God placed them all in my hands not to see me fail but to see me triumph over them. I remembered my brother advising me that what I should focus on is not the tip of the iceberg but what’s at the bottom which is bigger than what I am seeing for now. He would always tell me to look at the bigger picture, do not focus on the problem but focus more on the goal, the mission which is honoring God.

Obedience by action is by far the hardest. Easier said than done as the saying goes. But it is how God wanted us to be sanctified each and every single day – forming a deeper relationship by becoming more and more like Him every single day in our thoughts, our words and our actions.

To be Christ-like is to slowly die to your old self every single day which means carrying your own “cross” and lift it until time comes that is finished, the mission is accomplished and you are completely changed.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”

– PAULO COEHLO, The Devil and Miss Prym

God is telling me to obey and trust Him while waiting for His plans to unfold in His perfect time though at times I may fail. And this is what keeps me for now:

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” – Psalms 73:26 NLT

How Do I Love Thee?

I do not intend to tell the world about the second coming of Jesus in a way that most people know i. e. placards with those words written on it, preaching about how sinful men are, that our time is short, etc. for back when I was still a non believer, I used to treat them all nonchalantly with a little bit of contempt, cynicism and scorn. I may have received it that way but I didn’t know that the seed was already being implanted.

I believe those who preached the Good News this way in the past were God’s disciples called to do exactly that at that time. Now, I believe, God has a different set of tasks to the newly saved believers to continue the mission that those before us have left in our charge now. There was no social media at that time. 🙂

I don’t need to tell people anymore of what they already know – Jesus’ second coming is near. What I intend to do, on the other hand, is to share to people how it is to prepare for that second coming and the things that most people clearly do not understand. These are the things that are far too basic, far too common and yet most commonly misunderstood and oftentimes disregarded.

Which leads me to the concept of this very simple word: LOVE.

Love is the overused word in the dictionary that permeates with everything. It goes on with a lot of definitions, given in a whole lot of different contexts and manifested in a whole lot of different actions.

So why this word?

I may not understand how everything is interrelated in the following series of events that I will discuss but all I know is that they all centered on one common theme which is LOVE and I have to share them all because the Spirit has prodded me to.

Scenario 1

I lead a small bible study group in church of young, single, female professionals.

Scenario 2

I am in a relationship now and engaged to a fellow Christian. 

Scenario 3

Dreams, signs and wonders.

For Scenario 1, it started through my coaching group when our coaching leader assigned chapters of The Purpose Driven Life to each one of us to discuss. It was my first time to read the book. I believe God intended I read it just now. It is this book that spearheaded my passion in fulfilling the mission that Christ has left for us to do. I used the chapters on missions as our discussion platform for my small group. Which led me to buying my own copy of the book but I ended up buying a different but somehow similar book also by Pastor Rick Warren called “Better Together: What on Earth Are We Here For?“.

Tin Ginete

Better Together by Ptr. Rick Warren

And it was also through this book especially with the first few chapters that led me to the concept of LOVE and what it means in God’s eyes which I am now discussing with my bible study group. To quote some passages:

“Life is all about love and developing relationships – with God and with other people. You may succeed in many areas, but if you fail to love God and love others, you’ll have missed the reason God created you and placed you in this planet.”

“Real love is placing the needs of others before your own. It is making your problem, my problem…It is giving to another without any guarantee of getting anything back. It is giving others what they need, not what they deserve. Although love can create feelings, love is not a feeling. It is a choice, an action, a way of behaving, a commitment. Love is sacrificing for others.”

I remembered a few days back, I saw one status update on my Facebook news feed that really touched me. I wanted to share it at that time but something held me back so I just saved the link. I didn’t know that I would be needing it now to emphasize more of the passages I have written above. It is a short film entitled “Blind Devotion.”

And this will lead us to my Scenario 2, my relationship with my fiance. He is not as devoted as I am, but I can feel that the seed is already there. God gave him to me at a time that both of us did not expect. I was a patient due for eye surgery and he was the nurse. Our love story started there and the rest was history. But as times passed by, we went through what every couple would go through – conflicts, happiness, rage, patience, forgiveness, hurt, pain, joy, laughter…every emotion, every situation – we went through them as a couple. We have been together as a couple for only a year but we have learned so much about each other, how to value a relationship and having God in it except for this: LOVE as how God would define it.

Then came a point I wanted to give him up, he wanted to give up too. We talked but still ended up together. Then he asked me this question, “What is it that makes you stay with me though I have hurt you so many times, you have suffered so much for me, I have made so many mistakes, I keep on failing you and yet you always forgive me? I want to know why.”

I was silent for a time and this thought came to me and I explained why I am like that to him is because of God and my love for Him. God loved us so much He gave us His only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins though we do not deserve it. I told him I want to honor my God that is why I want to honor the commitment and honor him by learning the art of God’s love expounded in 1 Corinthians 13.

This happened just yesterday and when I woke up today, I read my devotion of the day in Our Daily Bread and I broke into tears, because it was an affirmation that I said the right thing to my fiance. This was the bible verse:

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” – Matthew 18: 21-22

Tin Ginete

March 6 Devotion: ODB

God has forgiven us. So we, too, should forgive those who sinned against us. To quote yet again passages from “Better Together”:

“Jesus says we are to be to one another what He is to us. The love of Christ is self-less, sacrificial, and submitted to the Father’s will. His standard of love is personal – reaching out to the undeserving, looking past their faults and into the desperate needs of their hearts.”

This kind of love now leads us to Scenario 3 – dreams, signs and wonders. I have been having dreams about me and my fiance the past several days which are bad dreams that dealt with my fears of him doing what he is not supposed to do and yet I felt they were all too real in those dreams. I always wake up with a heavy feeling until this morning.

My dream was about my fiance and I and we were supposed to board a bus headed for Baguio City but we got separated because of the huge crowd of commuters. I hopped in on a van instead and was surprised to see my ex boyfriend inside. We chatted for a while but then I noticed the destination name plate of the van and it was headed for Laguna (both my ex and my fiance now reside there). I asked the driver to stop then hurriedly went down the van and waited beside the road for a bus to come along headed towards Baguio City.

Then came a group of women who looked familiar walking towards me but I haven’t seen them yet in real life. Found out they were also headed for Baguio City so we waited for a bus then when one came, we boarded the bus, which was like a 12-seater, and there were only a few of us inside. Then that’s the time I woke up.

The night before, one of the verses in my devotion was Matthew 13:36. I read it but was too sleepy I didn’t understand it clearly. When I woke up today, I felt the urge to reread the verse but I forgot the verse so I randomly chose Matthew 13:3 which led me to the parables. It was all about the harvest and almost the entire chapter are highlighted in red which I don’t normally see in the bible app that I am using. So it means, the chapter I am reading is very significant.

Tin Ginete

The Parable of the Farmer

It is not a coincidence that my Discipleship 2015 training in church tomorrow has a key verse which is all about the harvest and the ministry that I volunteer in, which is a community outreach ministry, has a training on Urban Farming come this Sunday.

Neither it is a coincidence that after my devotion when I woke up today and checked my phone, I got a notification from a friend of mine regarding a video that she shared with me on Twitter. Here it is:

I cried after watching it. Because I now know the significance of it all. Everything is now crystal clear to me. It is indeed near. And what God was telling me the past days about love is that it is this kind of love that we need to exert to bring more people closer to Him despite of the conflicts and the differences.

“God says we must DECIDE to love one another. We’re to love other believers regardless of how we feel about them or how unlovable they may appear. No matter how difficult it may seem, we’re to actively, consistently, and deeply love the believers God brings into our lives, our congregations – and our small group.” – Better Together

“As members of God’s family, we must choose to love, not who to love.” – Better Together

And I believe this is the message that God wanted for us to understand now. The second coming is near, the more that we have to exemplify what Jesus did extending His love not just to His disciples but to those who are least likely to be loved. Just like the way that God is using my relationship with my fiance to master having that kind of love that is of God’s and not our worldly definition of it. I have been stumbling upon random verses from different books in the bible that have his name in it since last week, which is Joseph. I even joked my fiance our first baby boy will be named Zaphen derived from Zaphenath – Paneah which is the Egyptian name that the Pharaoh gave to Joseph when he appointed him as leader of his officials. This was one of the bible stories I read just a couple of days ago.

Tin Ginete

The story of Joseph, the dream interpreter.

I now understand why God gave him to me – I am being prepared for a mission and as my mate, he too is being prepared by God because the time is near for the harvesters to harvest this land. My interpretation of my dream today was very overwhelming, I wept. I wept because I know what it means – the message is very clear.

My fiance and I are due for a road trip with his childhood friend and his girlfriend to Baguio City over the weekend. I have visited the place countless of times and it was during one of my hikes at La Trinidad in Benguet, a province in Baguio City, that I was completely amazed by God’s bountiful and beautiful creations at its best. I was on top of a very high mountain after a treacherous hike and what I saw in front me was what I called in my previous article as “heaven here on Earth” because you see nothing else but a sea of clouds. And for me, it was very symbolic of my faith. The treacherous hike, wherein I almost fell off a cliff, was a matter of pain, suffering, life and death. But if you were able to overcome it all, the Kingdom of Heaven is waiting for you above, on top of it and no amount of words could describe how it feels to be there.

You can refer to this article for my hiking experience: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/benguet-the-trip-up-north/

Last 3/3 marked my 3rd year since I got saved as a Christian last 3/3/13. The movie Son of God was released on that date too. And this coming 3/13, which falls on a Friday, I have a great feeling it is going to be a significant date as well. The verse regarding the parables can be found in Matthew 13:3 too. Most of my daily verses that I encounter came from the Gospel of Matthew. I did my research and the Gospel of Matthew is considered by scholars as the summary of Jesus’ ministry. It tells of Jesus sending His disciples to preach His Gospel to the whole world. It is also one of the four canonical gospels and it connects the old and the new testament. (wikipedia.org) I know for a non believer you will say it is all coincidence. But I say, as a believer, they are all signs from the Spirit.

Which led me to wonder on these passages written in that chapter:

“That is why I use these parables,

For they look, but they don’t really see. They hear but they don’t really listen or understand.” – Matthew 13:13

After these revelations, I only wept. And in between sobs, this was all I could utter in prayer:

“Lord help me to make them understand. Teach me to love them like how You have loved us.”

My brother is one of my spiritual mentors. He was the one who introduced me to the church and eventually to my faith. I know God appointed him to be that and I can attest through the role that my brother is playing in my life right now. He gave me a planner last year by Paulo Coehlo which contains quotations on life and faith. Each month has a designated character trait and last Christmas, he gave me the same planner. And now I know why. For this month, the character trait is this: COURAGE.

Tin Ginete

March: COURAGE

And this is the quotation for today:

“The only sin is a lack of LOVE. Be brave, be capable of LOVE, even if LOVE seems a treacherous, terrible thing. Take pleasure in LOVE. Take pleasure in VICTORY.”

Tin Ginete

The Valkyries by Paulo Coehlo

This may be the longest post I have written here on WordPress but I know every word here is all God’s plan because the mission for us all is starting to get clearer and He requires us to act on that mission. 🙂

Tin Ginete

Paulo Coehlo Planner 2015, The Holy Bible, Our Daily Bread, Better Together – my daily meal. 🙂

The 10 Books Challenge

Tin Ginete

E-book, PDF, paperback edition – for as long as it is something I can read, I’ll read it. 😉

I was dared by my cousin Nadja and friend Nina for this 10 books challenge which I really had a hard time doing as I LOVE BOOKS aside from the fact that I have a bachelor’s degree in literature and making me choose among the 100+ books I have read is far too tasking. But I was more than glad to join the ride, thus challenge accepted. 🙂

Here it is:

“Friends, you need to list down 10 books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take more than a few minutes and don’t think too hard. They don’t have to be “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. The idea is to instill the nostalgia of vintage books in the online community. Tag 10 friends including me so I can see your list.”

1. THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY by Oscar Wilde
2. LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa May Alcott
3. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by Jane Austen
4. JANE EYRE by Charlotte Bronte
5. A NEW EARTH by Ekhart Tolle
6. THE LITTLE PRINCE by Antoine de Saint – Exupery
7. A WRINKLE IN TIME by Madeline L’Engle
8. THE ART OF WAR by Sun Tzu
9. THE DEVOTIONAL STUDY BIBLE
10. THE PURPLE BOOK by Steve Murrell & Rice Broocks

P.S.
11. BRIDA by Paulo Coehlo
12. THE WISHSONG OF SHANNARA by Terry Brooks

I made it 12 because I just can’t make it to 10. Sorry, I really am that deviant. What is in your list? 🙂