The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
Swollen lymph nodes and rashes are totally gone today, and it’s the first time that this happened to me without any medications. A miracle? YES. 🙏😍
And it’s also the first time in my 37 years of existence that we watched a different movie other than the one we’re supposed to watch because the ticket attendant was…I don’t know, going through some tough times in life, too? And my husband and I were kind of surviving the holiday hustle and bustle so we didn’t notice she gave us the wrong movie tickets. 😭😂
Epic Fail, Not Really
Yep, a major “UH-OH.” Now, you see, if this happened to me in my early 20s, this incident would’ve activated my Kraken Version 2.0 to the highest level. But hey, we’re grownups now, right? So, we act like how every grownup would – exhale all the negativity and….rant. 🤣🤣🤣
Nah, of course, be the better man always. Again, my white hairs told me I act accordingly. I consulted with them first actually. And their advice is that things like this happen. Besides, whose fault was it? Was it us who didn’t check if we got the right movie tickets? Or the ticket attendant whose mind’s wandering in Timbuktu or wherever in the universe just far from Earth? 😁✌️
But no, we decided not to have the tickets changed anymore because the ticket attendant might be having such a really rough day that’s why she made the mistake.
Going Cray-Cray But Keeping It Calm
And yes, I was really close to going cray-cray. Just imagine, we went inside the movie house quite early because we were looking forward to watching “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes.”
Then, REGAL FILMS flashed on the screen. And I was like, “Oh, they’re still showing trailers of upcoming movies when the movie’s supposed to be starting.” Until I realized I was no longer watching a movie trailer, but the first scenes of a movie.
Then we saw in the caption, “Manila, 1991.” I said to my husband, “Hon, I didn’t know the setting of the “The Hunger Games” movie this year is in the Philippines.” Well, that was what I originally thought until I was proven wrong when we saw the movie title come out – “Shake, Rattle, and Roll Extreme.” 😭😭😭
Truly, truly shaken, rattled, and rolled.
Oh dear me, I was truly shaken, rattled, and rolled up in dismay. 😂😂😂 But, it’s already too late to have our movie tickets changed. So yeah, we just went on and watched the wrong movie.
Pinoy MoviesUpgraded
Well, to be fair with “Shake, Rattle, & Roll Extreme,” it was an awesome production. I never watch Filipino movies on the big screen because I have somehow generalized them as being of low quality. But, I was proven wrong today.
The Filipino movie industry has made quite a huge improvement when it comes to the casting of actors, delivery of action scenes, and cinematography. Hubby and I did agree that “Shake, Rattle, and Roll Extreme” was worth watching. 👍👍
When the movie ended, my husband asked me, “So Hon, what can you say about “The Hunger Games?” I answered, “Oh, it was such a BLAST. It made me so hungry. I’m just going to eat my anger out.” lol 😆😆😆
If God tested both me and my husband today on how we would respond to such an unforgettable mishap, I must say that we did overcome it victoriously. I guess attending church at Victory Fort earlier today somehow set us up to have the right mindset that God can turn bad things into good ones if you let Him.
Victory Fort 11AM Church Service
So to end today’s post, I felt like Mandisa’s “Overcomer” is the perfect song to sum up this weekend and to help us start right this upcoming week. I hope you had a shaken, I mean, blessed Sunday as well. 🙏❤️😉
P.S. I really would like to share this video in the Breast Cancer Support Groups on Facebook where I am currently a member, but unfortunately, we’re not allowed to post any links. This is one great song that can help them cope with the challenges they’re going through now battling breast cancer. I pray for each one of them every day. If only I can do more for them. I know God will give me instructions on what to do when the time is right. 🙏
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28
I’ve been contemplating this question even before December comes. Recent circumstances brought me to yet another crossroad, and they compelled me to think about the future.
“How will my 2024 turn out?”
It’s bleak. Just like how some of the previous years panned out. The future is and will never be certain, and I guess this is why people become fearful. We do not know what will happen, and it makes us anxious, doubtful, and worried. Because it all has something to do with control. We become fearful of things that we have no control over.
This is what God changed when I became a born-again Christian. He showed it to us yet again when my Mom died of stage 4 breast cancer last August. Money wasn’t able to save her. Not even the best doctors in town can save her. Because in God’s story, it’s already her time to go.
I may not know what the future holds, and yet I am certain about this one thing – I will have to deal with yet another heartbreak. That will be two major heartbreaks in a row – first, my Mom’s passing away, and second, losing my husband.
Separate Lives
No, my husband is not dying. But we are going to live separately, which has a high probability it will become legal. My husband wants to go back to Manila and work there again.
Sadly, Manila is no longer an option for me. I have a strong feeling I’ll die early there given that I have severe allergic rhinitis, and the air is just too polluted. I saw the news recently, and the haze has just gotten worse over the city. We also lived in my sister’s condo when we were there, and we happen to have neighbors who are chain smokers.
This aggravated my allergies to the point that I have frequent nosebleeds that get worse and worse every day. It has gotten so bad that my ENT doctor prescribed an antihistamine that I should take on a daily basis and other medications.
My husband was also tired at work given all the pressure brought about by the pandemic in the healthcare industry, he also needed a break. So we decided to come here to my hometown hoping to make a fresh start since I also work from home.
To make the story short, we came here to Bicol last year, but things didn’t turn out the way we had planned them to. Sad to say, this is one of the reasons why we have decided to separate ways.
The calling for me to stay here and serve the local community is far too strong to dismiss. I thought it was my husband’s calling, too, when we both witnessed this perfect rainbow in Albay going to Manila in January 2020.
The most memorable rainbow for me. ❤
The promises God gave me when I saw this perfect rainbow (my first perfect rainbow) were this:
“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
Unfortunately, these promises were only intended for me. My husband never felt the same calling. It was the opposite for him actually. His coming here only made him realize how much he longed for the city life and the late night outs and “inuman” sessions with his friends and coworkers.
He felt like his social life came to an abrupt halt when he got here. From what I’m seeing, he’s not yet ready to leave his comfort zone. I understand him because he grew up in the city.
All About Marriages
However, I must also say that this was also my trauma for the past 8 years that we’ve been together. How can I forget those sleepless nights when I didn’t know where he was because he was too drunk to text or call me, and he’d arrive home the next day not remembering where he spent the night away?
Or that time when I asked him about a missing bracelet that I gave him, only to find out later on that he’s given it to a female intern at work who took a fancy to that bracelet and asked if she could have it as a remembrance from him (???). Or that female coworker who’d video call him on Facebook, and when I answered, she said she accidentally pressed the call button (???). And a whole lot more of married couple traumas that I chose not to divulge anymore.
Because my husband is not all that. 🙂
I’ve seen him grow from a fetus, I mean, a boy (😉) to a man for the last 8 years. I’ve witnessed how he became this responsible man who is willing to make sacrifices just to meet me halfway.
Although let’s be honest, there are some bad habits that are just hard to break. I know we all can relate to this. Holistic transformation seldom happens overnight.
I actually celebrate individuality in relationships because this is how we grow as a person and eventually as a couple once we’ve both learned to navigate through our differences. I also agree with what the church taught us that we never marry so we can change our spouse.
A marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman and seeks to encourage a spouse to give to the significant other more than what she/he can get from him/her. And yet, it takes two to tango. Love must never be one-sided.
I’d always tell my husband to only change what needed to be changed for the marriage to survive and thrive. I give him the freedom to do what he wants given that it is within the boundaries of this marriage. If what he is about to do will compromise our marriage, and it’s not healthy for both of us as a couple, then he has to be accountable for his actions and address the consequences.
This is why long-distance relationships never work for me. A marriage requires a lot of hard work. Add to it being apart from each other, the probability of a marriage surviving is very, very low.
So, here’s my proposal to my husband if I should decide by the end of the year that I’m staying here in my hometown or somewhere else other than Manila. If he meets another woman, and between me and her he chooses her, then he must file an annulment case first before cohabiting with that woman.
Infidelity is the only reason permitted as grounds for divorce in the Bible (Matthew 19:9). Also, if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave the marriage, he or she can leave any time.
“But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15
So you might probably ask, “Aren’t you going to fight for your marriage, Tin?” Well, I’ve been doing that for the past 8 years. 🙂
I also got to talk to my Mom a couple of months before she passed away and I did ask for her advice regarding this (I’m missing our convos), and she told me that if my husband is not happy here, then I should let him go.
Her suggestion was that if my husband loved me enough, then he should be able to look for other employment opportunities here and adjust just so we could still be together. And yet, I also understand where my husband is coming from.
Where Is Home?
Manila is not my home. It is for him. Bicol is my home. It is not for him. This is the part where I get to go back to what I mentioned in my previous paragraphs about God being in control.
These are matters that are already out of my control. What I’ve learned in my marriage is that I do not have control over how my husband feels, how he reacts, how he thinks, how he decides, and how he behaves. I can only take these matters to God, and tackle issues as they come one day at a time. As Scripture goes,
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6
“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” – Matthew 6:27
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34
But a more pressing concern is the basis of my decision to stay. I need to take care of my health. I am already at a high risk of getting breast cancer. What happened to Mom is a constant reminder to me to stay as healthy as possible.
I was born with a weak immune system, and I have always been the sickest kid in the family. Out of Mom’s 4 watchers when she was at the hospital, I was the only one who contracted Covid.
My sister, Tita Len, and my spouse all turned out negative in their antigen tests and never even had symptoms. I, on the other hand, still have long Covid rashes every now and then.
I tried not to take antihistamines every day, but I can only go on for a couple of days and the congestion will come back, especially at night. These are all minor health conditions though and are easily manageable.
So yes, I know you’re bored already, so let’s cut this short. 😀
This photo might encourage you to keep reading if you want to find out where this was taken. 😉 Photo courtesy of my husband the day before my 36th birthday (12/21/2021).
Trusting God Always
I may not know what will happen next year. Or where I will be. Because I don’t want to be in Manila, and yet I also don’t want to be in my hometown because Mom’s memories here at home make me miss her a lot.
I want to heal someplace else and live somewhere halfway between Manila and Sorsogon. That would be Camarines Sur, but I prefer somewhere close enough so I can visit Dad regularly during weekends.
Albay, maybe? I really don’t know. But before you assume that I am running away from Manila and my hometown, actually I go where God will ask me to go. It can be in Albay or for all I know, it could be somewhere in Batanes or Tawi-Tawi. Or abroad.
One of my sweet escapes – the ocean. ❤️
It’s a good thing that I am a remote worker so I can work from anywhere. Thank God for remote work because it is just fitting for a nomadic lifestyle. If I were also to be asked what are the 3 things that I can’t live without, that would be my laptop, my phone, and my “Go Bag.” Then, you can bring me anywhere.
Yes, a Go Bag will count as one thing, right? lol Nah, it’ll be an unfair answer knowing that everything we need to survive is in the Go Bag. On a serious note, I’ll be sharing more about emergency preparedness in my upcoming articles since we are already in a climate emergency. And no, I’m not a doomsday prepper. I’m just a regular civilian trying to get by in a chaotic society.
Where God Leads, I Follow
About my plan to go someplace else, I’m still trying to ask God for a clearer picture after I saw that perfect rainbow in Albay and received the assurance of a promise. Albay is actually my Mom’s second home (more about it here). My Mom also stayed at my Tita’s place in Daraga and tagged along 2 of my siblings who were still toddlers back then. That was when Mom and Dad had a huge fight, and Mom decided to leave him for good.
But well, as we all know it, love brought them back together. Dad changed his bad habits, pursued Mom, and Mom loved him enough to forgive him, and they actually just celebrated their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary last June 1, 2023. Speaking of love, you might want to watch a movie on Netflix entitled “Love At First Sight.”
It’s a new release, and according to the movie, it’s not a love story but it’s a story about fate and chances. And what do you do with both. I think it really is not your typical love story though the movie title was too cliche, but I must admit it was one of the best chick flicks I’ve watched. I plan on writing a movie review about it, so better watch it now before I spoil it. 😉
To end this long article, I only have one concrete plan in mind for next year. That is, to move forward. Because that is the only way to go and that has always been the case for me ever since I became a born-again Christian.
Is it toxic positivity? I don’t know, but it works for me and I owe it all to God’s grace. It is this undeserving grace that got me to where I am now even if there were numerous times I felt like I wouldn’t make it. I do not plan on wallowing in sadness, grief, and sorrow for a long period of time because that is not living.
I hope this article will also encourage those who are going through very difficult situations to continue to soar. Nothing is ever too broken for God that He can never make whole again. God is not done with you and with me yet. We still have a lot more to do for His people and for His kingdom. We’re still breathing, right? So, LIVE. ❤
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a video of a Brahminy Kite I spotted back on our farm. I love to see them soar up high with wings all spread out, gliding up and down. They belong to the family of eagles and they are not yet endangered but sadly, their numbers are declining. I am praying God will give us the guidance and wisdom to protect them in the Wildlife Sanctuary that we plan to establish inside the farm.I am hoping to partner with DENR/MENRO for this.
And of course, sharing with you my fave song for this week. ❤ May God’s favors be upon you this coming week, dear brothers and sisters. 🙏
My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now. We don’t have kids for reasons that only God knows. But honestly, in those 5 years, hubby and I never felt burdened by the fact that we were never blessed with kids (yet).
In fact, after we had our respective checkups, we accepted that God has a good plan behind it. These are plans that are beyond our control and yet what they demand from us is to continue seeking His counsel every single day as to what to do.
To receive the bad news that our best chances to have kids is thru IUI is far more bearable to take than accepting some of the people’s sentiments around us about our ordeal. 😀 I thank God for our families though because they treated it as something that we shouldn’t be pressured about at all.
Dealing With Social Stigma
Yes, I’ll be pretty honest. Hubby is not completely open to the idea of me sharing this. But I told him that we have to let people around us know to avoid all those awkward moments during reunions and children’s birthday parties about questions when we are going to have kids.
They would ask us casually and yet I told hubby that we can’t blame them since they don’t know exactly what we’re going through. They don’t know the visits to the doctor for our checkups and about being brave enough to endure the medical instruments inserted and injected here and there. They have no idea about how nervous we are as to what the doctor’s findings are and all the financial expenses involved.
IUI vs IVF
An IUI (intrauterine insemination) is different from IVF (in vitro fertilization) in a way that the IUI works by injecting the semen inside the uterus. Fertilization still occurs inside the uterus, while for IVF, the egg is harvested from the uterus and the fertilization takes place in the laboratory. Once the procedure is a success, the fertilized egg will be inserted back to the uterus.
I am not afraid of the physical pain nor am I worried about financial resources. I have faith that if God wills it my husband and I will have kids through any kind of medical procedure, He will provide the means, the courage, and the right time to have it.
Complete Faith All The Way
I just can’t help but admire my husband so much in this season – his courage, his strength, his nonchalance, and his faith. It seems like he displays the character of a devout Christian more than I do. And yet it’s ironic that it is me who claims to have such great faith. 😀
There are some couples going through similar situations such as ours who would get offended when asked by friends and relatives when they’re going to have a baby. Again, we also have to understand that the reason they ask is that they know nothing about our struggles in this journey.
So I told my husband that to break this negative mentality (considered as taboo) when it comes to infertility and the inability to conceive, we have to let those around us be aware of our predicament. Involve them in this difficult season in our marriage by asking them to pray for us and letting them know what exactly we need.
My husband is partially against this. He said it is too personal. And yet I have a different urge from the Spirit on how to treat the situation. I explained that yes, it is too personal. But God may be using our situation as a testimony of our faith in Him and His saving grace.
And that by sharing our faith in this journey, we could also encourage other couples who are going through the same struggles. Maybe it is through us that they get to know who God is, for one. As typical of my husband, he will concede once he realizes that there is indeed no harm done re a particular intent that I have. 😀 And if he knows I am doing it with the Spirit’s leading.
I pray that all the couples out there who are like us will see this predicament not as a curse but an opportunity to display God’s power. It is also an avenue to show our complete faith and trust in God, alone, that even though we have no assurance as to what will happen, we will still choose to believe in Him. Husbands and wives can also use these trying times to strengthen their bond as a couple even more.
Facing Trials Head-on
This is an unfavorable season that my husband and I cannot avoid. We have to face it head-on with the courage, strength, peace, and wisdom that God gives us. We can’t avoid attending reunions and kids’ birthday parties just so we can avoid being asked the dreaded question.
It also helps us to be open about our situation giving us freedom from any feelings of bitterness, discontentment, insecurity, and hatred because of it. The sooner we accept the fact that God is in control and that what we can only do is to act according to His instructions, the lesser the burden and the more at peace we’ll become.
For those who lost unborn babies and who can never have a baby, it’s almost the same, though the gravity of their situation is even greater. As much as I would like to empathize with them, I know it is not enough. I know I can only offer them prayers that may they still find the courage to continue hoping in God’s beautiful promises despite these heartbreaking moments. ❤
You Have Been Wonderfully Made
To all the couples out there, it is time to break this silence. Because this is what the enemy will use to cripple us through bouts of depression, restlessness, guilt, shame, and unhappiness. Don’t let him make you think of yourself as less than perfect, that something is wrong with the way you were created.
No, don’t believe these lies. Don’t let the enemy win. Don’t let it consume you. We have all been fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. God may be perfect, but we are still a work in progress. We are all imperfect. We all lack something. God is not yet done with us and it is only Him who can blot out those imperfections in us when the right time comes.
Be Free
I pray that all the couples out there who are going through similar trials will be released from this stronghold of the enemy. Be free my brothers and sisters, for it is your faith that will heal you and save you from this struggle.
We just always have to remember that God is always with us no matter what. So we must never stop believing that He knows what is good for us in the long run. Trusting Him completely is the key. 🙏
“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” – Hebrews 10:39
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:11
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:13
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7
A wife waiting contentedly and happily,
P.S. I’ll just share this song, which my group and I got through draw lots, during our ‘Making Disciples’ class in our church back in 2014.
This post just reminded me about it – being BRAVE enough to break norms by saying what you want to say. 👍🙂
Hello, everyone! This has long been overdue because August, for me, was the busiest month. I had to juggle several responsibilities at the same time. I thank the Lord, though, because when September ushered in, I was able to “breathe a little.” Thus, this article. 😉
I am writing this blog post to commemorate our 4th year wedding anniversary last month. Hubby and I celebrated it with a simple dinner and some well-deserved pampering.
I guess that’s what really happens when you’re getting older. Any free time you get, you would rather choose to spend it by resting. 😀 We do hang out, though, with our families and friends every now and then just to maintain balance.
Why Hosea?
I encountered the story of Hosea in the Love Dare book lent to me by my Victory group leader last year when I was going through tough times in my marriage. I diligently followed every dare in the book, and there were times a dare would move me to tears because I was so convicted.
How could I not know the right way to respond as a Christian wife in the relational conflicts between me and my husband?
The book just laid bare everything vulnerable, crooked, and imperfect inside me. With them all exposed, however, I was able to deal with the real issues behind some of the conflicts I had with my husband.
One of them is fear. I was so driven by it that little did I know the enemy is already using it against me and my husband to his advantage and to destroy God’s beautiful promises for us. It’s just timely that this year’s wedding anniversary reminded me once again of our Bible verse during our wedding back in 2015:
“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.” – 1 John 4:18
Next, it was lack of faith. While doing the dare, there were instances where I felt a part of me was wrestling against doing it.
What I discovered is that I wasn’t humble enough as I claim to be, and there is still pride lurking deep down. I still relied on my own efforts when dealing with tough relational issues instead of trusting God, for one.
The Love Dare book didn’t just reveal parts of me that I needed to work on, but it also showed me how to better appreciate my spouse and his efforts to make our marriage work. I am sure you are curious by now to find out if it indeed resulted in a more positive and healthy relationship between me and my husband.
I can say that it did, for the most part, and yet for the majority of the changes, they did not happen overnight. They all required a great deal of discipline in order to see satisfying results. I am just grateful that both my husband and I are willing to work on our marriage regardless of the amount of effort and sacrifice it requires. Yes, we are still a work in progress, and God is definitely not done with us yet.
When I did the dares in the book, I decided not to wait for my husband to change first before I follow suit. If he does or doesn’t change, that is between him and God. But God’s calling for me is that I change now.
Will I recommend the book?
Definitely.
I am sure any husband or wife out there can relate with every dare in the book 100%, and if you’re going through rough seasons in your marriage, I highly recommend it. It’s also included in the Fireproof movie hubby and I watched a couple of years ago. I already have an idea of what the book was all about, but doing the dares, yourself, is an entirely different case.
Who is Hosea?
Hosea, in the Bible, is a prophet who was called by God to marry a prostitute. The story revolves around the prophet’s obedience to God in the midst of adultery, which was prevalent in God’s people during those times.
After getting married and having children, Hosea’s wife left him and unfortunately went back to prostitution. This was a very heart-wrenching experience to the prophet. It extremely tore him apart and yet, God asked him to do the most difficult task – ask her to return to him as his wife.
After leaving Hosea and going back to prostitution, Gomer (Hosea’s wife), got herself into undesirable circumstances and was sold as a slave. Hosea, though, still loves her. So, when God instructed Hosea to buy his wife back, he obeyed. He dismissed his own pain as seeing her would probably mean bringing back all the hurt of her leaving him and her sexual promiscuity with different men.
Gomer was full of remorse when Hosea bought her, but he did it on one condition – that she will completely let go of her past sins as a prostitute and repent.
What can we learn from Hosea?
God used the marriage of Hosea to Gomer as a representation of His unending love for His people despite their sinfulness and disobedience. God will continue to make all efforts to bring His people back to Him because that is what He is, He is love.
And there’s just no greater avenue to display the love of God than in a marriage. 1 Corinthians 13 portrays who God is as love, but there are other passages in the Bible that also describe what love ought to be such as loving your enemies and your neighbors as yourself.
The Lesson Of Hosea In A Marriage
When we love our enemies whom we don’t have a close relationship with, we sure can deal with it easily. But in a marriage, it is a tad more difficult and requires greater faith and more grace. To share one roof and sleep beside your enemy is already challenging enough. What more to love whom you disdain every single day?
Yes, there will be times in your marriage wherein you’ll feel you married your worst enemy. Your spouse can be your worst enemy because he/she knows so much about your weaknesses that nobody else does. And yet it doesn’t have to be that way if you choose to see your spouse in a different light.
This is where we can apply the lesson of Hosea’s love story. Just as God will choose to give chances to His people no matter how grave their sins are, then we, too, should do the same. When we were called to be married, God called us to love our spouses just like what Hosea did.
Every Marriage Was Orchestrated By God
I don’t believe in coincidences nor the idea that God does things based on trial and error just like in marriages. I believe that every marriage was orchestrated by God for us to fulfill a certain task. We are the only ones who can determine what these tasks are when we ask God sincerely and devote ourselves to obeying Him and His instructions completely.
Whether our marriages are failing, surviving, or thriving, God has a purpose for it, and this purpose will vary depending on each and every couple. My purpose in my marriage might be different than Hosea’s or any married couple out there. But they all have one goal – to display God’s unending love because that is who He is and that is who He wants us to know and follow.
This is why I don’t judge married couples whether they have God-centered marriages or not for now. Through the story of Hosea, I have surmised that we are not in the position to judge whether a marriage will last or not or decide for a person who he/she must marry. Because every marriage will go through seasons and in these seasons, God will use circumstances to fulfill His greater plans.
It Is A Calling
A marriage is a calling. The choice to marry a person doesn’t merely happen by chance, and it isn’t based on our own free will alone. God also has a hand in it. When I was single, I would read articles on who to marry or what is the type of guy/girl who will fit your personality. And yet reading the story of Hosea changed my perspective on relationships and marriages. It called for an understanding beyond legalism and pre-set doctrines that the world has dictated.
The Bible did state to never be yoked with an unbeliever. My interpretation, however, is that it should be taken with a grain of salt, and it depends on a case-to-case basis. What if the same calling similar to Hosea’s happens now in our generation? As a church, we can only respond to it with prayers. We can never judge because we don’t know what God has planned for a certain couple.
All we know is that it is in a marriage that God calls us to exhibit the greatest of them all – LOVE. We should always remember, too, that no marriage is ever a failure in God’s eyes as long as we seek His counsel on how to run our marriages. 🙂
Always the goofy husband, when he’s in the mood. lol 😉
Called by God to be a Christian wife in every circumstance,
To my non-Filipino readers, I wrote this article in the vernacular because I felt the message will go through much better in this medium. But you may use the Google translate button below or at the sidebar of this page. I just hope Google will do a fine job of translating it. *wink*
“Paano Ba Ang Tamang Pagpapatawad?”
Noong nakaraang buwan, may isa akong status update na ni-post sa Facebook. Ito ay tungkol sa kasong adultery at concubinage. Hindi namin pinagdaanan ito ng asawa ko kaya sa mga nagtataka bakit nga ba bigla lang akong nag-post tungkol doon, wala akong ibang maisagot kundi dahil sa naramdaman ko lamang na kailangan ko syang i-post.
Infidelity: Kasong Concubinage at Adultery
Ang infidelity o pagkakaroon ng kabit o karelasyong babae/lalaki maliban sa iyong asawa ay isang sensitibong usapan pagdating sa ating lipunan. Madalas natin itong napapanood sa mga pelikulang Pinoy at teleserye. Ngunit sa totoong sitwasyon, ito ay itinuturing bilang isang kahihiyan. Kaya hindi nakapagtataka kung bakit maraming mga biktima ang piniling manahimik na lamang at indahin ang sakit at mga pasakit na dulot nito.
Ito ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit naisipan kong i-post ang tungkol sa adultery at concubinage case. Dahil nakita ko ang dalamhati nila, ang sakit na dinaranas bawat araw, at kanilang mga sakripisyo sa pamamagitan ng pagiging matatag sa kabila ng lahat alang-alang sa kanilang mga anak at ikatatahimik ng lahat.
Ang iba naman ay nagpaubaya na lamang dahil hindi sapat ang kanilang impormasyon tungkol sa infidelity at sa mga batas na nangangalaga sa mga karapatan ng isang asawa. Kahit saang bansa sagrado ang tingin ng batas at ng lipunan sa isang kasal o pagsasama ng isang mag-asawa.
Ang adultery case ay iba sa concubinage case. Ang una ay kaso ng isang asawang lalaki laban sa kanyang asawang babae at ang kabit nito. Ang huli ay kaso ng isang babaeng asawa laban sa kanyang asawang lalaki at ang kabit nito.
Para sa karagdagang kaalaman tungkol dito, maaari ninyong basahin itong artikulo:
Hindi ko inakala na maraming kababaihan ang dumaraan sa ganitong mahirap na sitwasyon ngayon at walang alam kung paano ito resolbahan. Nakita ko ang mga komento ng iba’t-ibang kababaihan na naglahad ng kanilang mga kanya-kanyang sitwasyon. Hindi ko rin napaghandaan na ganito ang magiging kalalabasan ng post na iyon na ni-share ng mga kaibigan at ng mga kaibigan nila.
Ngunit ipinanalangin ko sa Panginoon na gabayan Nya ako kung paano makakatulong sa aking mga kapatid na kinakaharap ang ganitong masalimuot na sitwasyon. Ang itinuro sa akin ng Dios ay ang website ng Public Attorneys Office at ang mga numero kung paano ito kontakin. Ito ang kasagutang aking naibigay dahil hindi ko masasagot ang mga katanungan nila at hindi naman ako abogado.
Ano Ang Iyong Gagawin Bilang Isang Kristyano?
Marahil sa puntong iyon ng pag-post ko, marami sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagtaka lalo na sa konteksto ng pagiging isa kong Kristyano. Dahil ang utos sa Bibliya ay magpatawad at huwag maghiganti sa isang maling gawain na ginawa saiyo.
Mga minamahal, huwag kayong maghihiganti; ipaubaya ninyo iyon sa Dios. Sapagkat nasusulat, “Akin ang paghihiganti, ako ang gaganti,” sabi ni Panginoon. – Mga Taga-Roma 12:19
Ngunit ayon din naman sa aking pananaliksik, ang pagpapatawad daw ay laging may kaakibat na kondisyon. Dahil ganoon din ang hiningi ng Dios sa atin kapalit ng ating pagkakaligtas – tanggapin si Hesus bilang iyong tagapagligtas at talikuran ang masamang nakaraan. Pero meron din namang nagsasabi na sa anumang uri ng pagkakamali, palaging maging handa magpatawad.
Naisip ko na may rason ang Dios bakit Nya pinagawa ang sampung kautusan kay Moses noon na ‘yun ang naging basehan ng ating mga batas upang mapanatili ang katahimikan sa lipunan ngayon. Lahat ng ito ay naglalayon na mapangalagaan ang karapatan ng bawat isa sa ating mga mamamayan at mamuhay kasama ang iba ng tahimik at may respeto sa kapwa.
Sa usapang infidelity, and katanungan ng karamihan ay paano ba magpatawad at nararapat bang kasuhan ang iyong nagkasalang asawa? O patawarin ko na sya kaagad at ibaon ang lahat sa limot?
Kung walang nangyaring paghingi ng kapatawaran, para sa akin, mas pipiliin ko pa ring magpatawad. At sa ilang beses na naging bigo sa pagtupad ng kanyang pangako ang iyong asawa ngunit patuloy pa rin na gumagawa ng kasamaan at patuloy ding humihingi ng iyong kapatawaran, mas nakakabuting hingin mo ang payo ng Dios sa kung ano ang nararapat gawin.
Nakasaad sa Bibliya na ang adultery/concubinage ay isang sapat na rason para iwan mo ang iyong asawa. Ngunit nakasaad din dito na ang tunay na pagmamahal ay handang magpatawad sa lahat ng oras, sa anumang pagkakamali, at hindi basta-basta sumusuko.
Ang mga batas natin ay hinayaan ng Panginoon na maisakatuparan dahil ito ay may magandang pakay para sa lipunan at sa mga mamamayan. Hindi ito ginawa para lamang panakot kundi magsilbing gabay sa mga tao para gawin kung ano ang tama at maturuan ang mga may sala na talikuran ang paggawa ng masama at mag-bagong buhay.
God Is Always With you
Para saiyo kapatid na patuloy na nagdadalamhati sa sakit at pait na dulot ng infidelity, ito lamang ang aking maipapayo:
Hindi na mahalaga na tanungin mo ang iyong sarili kung saan ka ba nagkulang at nagawa ito saiyo ng iyong asawa. Lahat tayo ay may kakulangan. Pero kung totoong mahal ka nya, kaya nyang tanggapin ano mang pagkukulang mo at kung mahal mo rin sya, kaya mo ring tanggapin ang buo nyang pagkatao.
Hilingin mo sa Panginoon ano ang dapat mong gawin sa sitwasyon ninyo ng inyong asawa. Tanungin mo Sya kung nararapat bang kasuhan ang iyong asawa ng adultery o concubinage case o patawarin mo na lamang sya, talikuran ang mga nangyari, at hayaan na lamang na panahon ang maghilom ng lahat.
Dios ang palaging nagtatama ng lahat. Ngunit tayo ang kikilos ayon sa Kanyang mga utos. Ika nga nila, “Nasa Dios ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa.”
Huwag kang panghinaan ng loob, hindi lamang ikaw ang nagdurusa at nasasadlak sa ganitong kalagayan. At lalo na, hindi ka nag-iisa. Maraming tao ang handang tumulong saiyo sa anumang paraan na alam nila para ikaw ay makabangon muli.
Patatagin mo ang iyong kalooban dahil karamay mo kami at ang Dios. Sa Dios pa lang, panalo ka na. Hayaan mo Syang igabay ka sa mga tamang taong tutulong sayo at gagabay din sayo sa tamang daan.
Lahat ng bagay may simula at katapusan. Ang paghihirap mong ito ay matatapos din. Ang unos ay titila at ang araw ay lalabas din. Madilim man itong dinaraanan mo ngayon pero liliwanag din sa huli. Manalig ka na lahat ng mga nangyayari sa mundong ito ay nakikita ng Dios. Dios ang pinakahukom kung saan lahat ng bawat kilos natin ay ating pananagutan at sisingilin Nya sa atin pagdating ng tamang panahon.
Bumangon ka kapatid. Harapin mo ang bawat umaga ng may tapang at lakas. Na sa kabila ng pinagdaraanan mo, mananatili kang matatag. Isa kang magiting na sundalo na sa bawat laban, ang bandila mo ay patuloy na mamamayagpag. Higit sa lahat, isa kang magiting na mandirigma dahil kakampi mo ang Dios. At ito sana ang panghawakan mo palagi:
“Tinutulungan Niya ang mga nagdurusa at ‘di binibigo ang walang pag-asa.” – Mga Awit 34:18
Patuloy na nananalangin ng taimtim para saiyo, kapatid,
As the title goes, this post is in line with our celebration for our 3rd year wedding anniversary. I can only praise God for taking good care of our marriage and for our happy union now – we owe it all to Him. 🙂 ❤
For a change though, I’ve decided to make this a creative write-up. Here it goes. ❤ 😉
Dear love,
It was a beautiful friendship. Now, it is a thriving marriage.
At first, nothing could go wrong, you thought. Because “love” is all in the air. And yet, you saw visions of them – hatred, bitterness, hurt, and anger. Then, it became a reality. Ah, they brought you pain. So much pain. So you asked, “God, where do I go?” His answer was simple, “Me. Come to me.”
Then, everything vanished. You were carried in His arms. You knew you will walk out that dreary stretch with all your might. Could it be that you have fallen along the way? Yes, but He picked you up. Amazing, isn’t it? The footprints always remain a single pair. It must be true. It is, in fact, true.
Now, you saw that familiar face, again. You can see his gaze, perturbing. That look, yes, that look. You saw the pain. It emanates from the windows of his soul, the eyes. You felt the pain. So this is how it is to love. To love with all your soul – all bare, all naked, all vulnerable.
Can things change? You hoped it in your heart. No, you prayed it with all your heart. There might still be a chance. But that’s the thing with love. It always gives chances. Even if you thought the opposite is true.
I’m glad he’s back. And so we’re back. Here we are fighting together and not against each other. But something really has changed. No, it’s not something. A lot of things have changed. You counted the days that turned into weeks and then months. And now? 2 years of changed lives and changed hearts.
You are more than glad you called out to Him for help. You knew you cannot do it on your own. That familiar gaze would’ve come from a stranger. A stranger who knew so much about you. A stranger made by circumstances.
He finally arrives home, you look at him. There he is with his tired look. He smiled faintly, greeted you with a kiss. But his usual banter is nowhere to be seen. You decide to tell him then later. Give him a tight hug, a sweet kiss, then prepare dinner.
He is trying the best that he could to be the best man. Don’t forget the little and big things which he knows you’ll love even if it’s too much of a hassle for him. When all is at rest, he’s back to his usual self. Ah yes, the perfect time to lie beside him, tease him, tell him what you wanted to tell him, stare at his face, and wonder if the circles under his eyes are getting bigger.
So you smiled at him which was returned right away and then more teasing. A few words are enough. That is not so hard to do. To focus more on someone is to focus less on the self. You read the emotions, you read the actions. It’s not hard to tell. You know what to do, you know what to say, and when to do all of them.
Funny how a pause is so important in everything. You look at him, you pause. He says something, you pause. He does something, you pause. Those pauses are so much more than just mere pauses. They speak volume to you who feels everything.
If there is but one thing that marriage teaches you about life, it is this – take a pause. When you pause, you loosen up. You detach from your emotions. Then, everything comes to a standstill.
It’s just like a time machine. It allows you to reorganize everything and make sure you’ll do everything right this time. Except in our world, you don’t need a time machine. Why? Because your choices will allow you to control time.
Time. You must love time and for what it does whether it’s to heal, to be free, to fight, or to reunite. See time as your best friend, not your enemy. It is only when you pause that you stop the time. You pause because you want to cherish the moments you want and can keep.
Love and time. They make a relationship grow. Yes, so much have changed. But only because we chose to allow time in letting things grow. And only because we have love to keep things growing.
About love, it’s not so hard to find actually. All you need to do is just look up and say, “God, I am ready for You.”
Make sure though that you really are ready. Because it is only love that will keep you together when everything seems falling apart. And when you do finally have love, whatever comes in your relationship, be assured that it will always have a happy ending. 🙂
A loving empath always,
If you love poetry reading, you can try watching my version of this lyric poem below. Enjoy! ☺❤
P.S.
I am currently finishing drafts one by one and once done, I plan to set the date when each article will go live. A thought came in though. What if one of these days I’ll find out my days here in this world are numbered? Will it be okay if my social media accounts still be “active” because of my scheduled posts on WordPress even if I’ve long been gone? I have drafted a whole year worth of articles. I hope you guys won’t find it creepy. 😀
Anyway, speaking of those numbered days, I randomly shot a question to hubby dear last week. I asked him what he will do if there’s an emergency here at home i.e. I slipped on the bathroom floor and was knocked unconscious, there was a fire, etc. and he needs to rush me to the hospital. He just answered that he’ll decide when it’s already happening. So I told him that sometimes a little preparation will help align your emotions to what can possibly happen (the dreaded events) and prevent a lot of hassle.
I continued by telling him that if he finds me unconscious on the floor, he must check my pulse, then get 3 important things: keys, wallet, and cellphone. He must also lock the door after carrying me out. Then once downstairs, ask for help from the guard then book a Grab car or taxi if the ambulance from a nearby hospital will take too long to fetch me.
My husband finds this absurd. Haha Yup, I know you will find this absurd, too. 😀 And I realized I am beginning to sound a lot like my Mom these days. (Love you, Mom!) But I know these “absurd” thoughts never popped up for no reason. They will also serve their purpose in God’s time. Well, it’s just an afterthought, anyway. A long one. 😉
Relationships and marriages always have one key component – settling down. I don’t know of anyone who got into a relationship without plans of getting married. Do take note though that I refer to marriage here as the legal union between a man and a woman. I am not, in any way, in agreement with cohabiting. If you can’t have a church wedding first (like me and my Mom by choice), then by all means, have a civil wedding. 🙂
A Church Wedding vs A Civil Wedding
My husband and I would still love to have a church wedding someday. We are targeting to have it on our 25th wedding anniversary. I can already imagine how emotional it will be. Why? This church wedding will be our gift to God for keeping us together until we reach our 25th year and the years to come.
Though we believe in a God who provides anything especially when it comes to finances, we felt it in our hearts to have the church wedding a bit later. We attended the marriage preparation seminar conducted by our local church, though. I highly encourage engaged couples to do this. It is such a big help to prepare you for the married life in a God-centered way.
Keep in mind that a civil wedding doesn’t make your marriage less holy. My parents’ marriage is a testimony of this and how they brought us up. We all grew up as God-fearing children who knew God well enough beyond all the religious rituals and practices. I believe a good marriage goes beyond lavish weddings but most of all, it should be about honoring God by honoring your marriage and your vows until death does both of you part no matter what. 🙂
In 5 years’ time, my parents will be celebrating their Golden (50th) Wedding Anniversary. I can only thank God for the grace and for my parents’ efforts to stay committed to their wedding vows regardless if they had a civil or a church wedding.
Marrying By Faith is More Important
When I got married, I knew what I was getting into. It is a covenant that you cannot get out of whenever you feel like it. I asked God for guidance if this is a season that He wanted for me. I never had doubts about whether I should marry my husband or not. When I received God’s wisdom over my decision to marry, I had no regrets even when months later after the wedding, hubby and I got into stormy and rough seas. But because I have faith, because of God’s grace, and because I married my husband for the right reasons, here we are close to our 3rd year wedding anniversary (that’s next month!). Still a young couple, though. 😀
So ladies (I chose you just because I am also a daughter of Christ), here are the wrong reasons for wanting to settle down:
5 Wrong Reasons Why You Should Settle Down
1. Never settle for comfort and convenience.
It’s a temptation for single ladies to get into the season of married life thinking they now have a partner in life who can help them with everything and be their best friend. Yes, it is true but it also means doing your part of the deal and making sacrifices, too, if needed. There is sometimes this misconception or “the fairytale complex” that after the prince married the princess, it’s all happily ever after between the two.
The truth is, a marriage will bring you so much discomfort as much as it brings you so much comfort. It’s not always a happily ever after. It could be a sober ever after every now and then or an exciting ever after or a boring ever after. We can never confine marriage with just one emotion because just like life, it’s a mix of everything. Forget that fairytale, it’s ideal but not real.
2. Never settle out of peer pressure or for validation.
Ah, yes. This is one of the most pressing (but wrong) reasons when settling down. I’m sure you’ve heard statements such as:
“This is my 5th time to be a bridesmaid, when will I become the bride?”
“All my girlfriends in our batch are married except for me.”
“My best friend got married already, I think I should do the same.”
“I think nobody loves me enough that’s why I am still single.”
“Nobody asked me out on a date, I think I’m the ugliest girl in the world.”
Whooosh! Wave them all away! They are all deceptions and lies that the enemy is planting in your heart. Do not fall for that trap. You are as lovely as you are now. You are worthy to be loved. You deserve to have the right man in God’s perfect time. The solution? Be still and wait. God might still be busy preparing you for this season.
3. Never settle for the sake of “leveling up” or “singlehood” is starting to become a bore.
This is common with women who always ask, “What’s next?” 😀 The very root problem of this goes back to discontentment. When you are not satisfied with what you have, you’re always hungry for more. Believe me, it can be a vicious cycle (used to be my stronghold). What you need is to enjoy the “now.” Ask God for leading where He will take you. Always be in tune with what He wants you to do. Be in step with God in all of your plans.
When you do this, you’ll be amazed by the different seasons that God can usher you in that are both exciting and frightening and yet fulfilling in the end. And you were only vying for one? Nah, God wanted you to have the best experiences in this life! Why? It is through these experiences that God will test your faith so you can build your character and be ready and equipped with everything lacking nothing (James 1:4).
4. Never settle for money.
For arranged marriages, this is common. It is a sad fact to know that some marriages are based on preserving business partnerships. If you’re reading this and you’re going through the same dilemma, ask God what He wants you to do. Remember, life is not over for you. This season might be where you’ll have the greatest learning yet. Seek His will all the more why He put you in this season. Then, see things from His perspective.
God knows you’re going to go through it and He knows that you can handle the situation. He won’t give you this situation if you can’t carry it on your own. But even if you can’t, know that God is on your side to help you out each and every step of the way. And lastly, money can’t buy you happiness. It never does and it never will no matter how wealthy you are. It’s always a weak foundation of any marriage, it will and it will crumble.
5. Never settle because looks captivated you.
The rule of thumb is to let your heart be captured by another heart, too, and not with the looks. 😉 This adage is always true to the core no wonder it became an adage: “Looks can be deceiving.” Go for attitude always before looks. But here’s what you must remember, too. In your courting days, both you and your partner will be putting your best foot forward so it might be an all show of positive attitudes. And yet, even if you’ve become best friends now and you’ve grown quite comfortable with each other, you still can’t show him your underwear and point out they’re “baconized” already you need to buy a new one, right? 😀
Seriously, the “getting to know” stage will only get deeper once you get married. I can attest to this because my husband and I weren’t really best friends when we met and became a couple. So, the first 3 years of our married life became the “getting to know” stage for us. It can be a rollercoaster for the first few years but I can assure you it will get better in time. You’ll soon learn to love each other better including those things that used to tick you off. And you’ll only notice how handsome your husband is once married because you get to stare at him most of the time. 😀
My last piece of advice when it comes to relationships and marriages is this: if you plan on settling down, marry for the right reason – because of love. And yet, always keep in mind too that love is not purely about feelings and emotions. It is a mixture of decisions, sacrifices, disappointments, failures, triumphs, accomplishments, forgiveness…every act and emotion (good ones) you can think of, that is love (1 Corinthians 13). No wonder it is the greatest of all. 🙂
“But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” – 1 John 4:8
“Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
Still feeling unsure where God is taking you next when it comes to relationships and marriages? Do drop me a comment or a message, I’ll pray for you. ❤
*Ibinahagi ko ito sa Facebook at naisipan kong maganda ring ibahagi ko sya dito since nagsisilbing online journal din naman itong blog na ito.
Noong nagsimula kaming bumukod ni Brian at nangupahan ng sarili naming apartment dito sa Makati sa simula ng taong ito, masasabi kong isa ito sa pinaka-challenging na pinagdaanan namin. Nag-decide akong bitawan na ang MA ko para maghanap ng trabaho at makatulong kay Brian kumita ng pera. Wala kaming gaanong ipon. Sa tanong na bakit biglaan ang paglipat, dahil hiningi na ito ng pagkakataon. Commuting from Cubao to Makati ay isang pahirap kay Brian bawat araw. Kung maghahanap din ako ng trabaho, kailangan sa malapit na rin sa pinagtatrabahuan nya.
Ang paglipat namin ay maituturing kong isang napakalaking suntok sa buwan. Literal na start from scratch kami. Pati pang-downpayment inutang pa namin sa mga magulang at kapatid ko. Wala din kaming mga gamit sa bahay dahil sabi ko kay Brian, kailangan naming matuto tumayo sa sarili naming mga paa. Hindi kami hihingi ng buong tulong sa pamilya namin hindi dahil sa pride kundi dahil kung hangga’t kaya namin magtiis at maka-survive, ‘yun at ‘yun ang gagawin namin. Sariling sikap kumbaga at tiwala sa Dios na Sya ang magpo-provide sa lahat ng kailangan at gastusin namin.
Ayan na’t naranasan namin ang kumain na walang table at upuan at naka-Japanese style kami. Nariyan na din ang sobrang pagtitipid sa pagkain gaya ng mga de lata at turo-turo na nirarasyon namin para mapagkasya sa isang buwan. Natulog din kami sa sleeping bag ng ilang buwan dahil wala pa kaming pambili ng kama. Our families offered to help pero sabi ko kay Brian, mabuti nang matuto tayong hindi sa kanila umasa lagi kapag nagigipit kung kaya naman nating magawan ng paraan. Matututo din tayong maging resilient at mag-endure ng anumang klaseng paghihirap. Lahat din ng produkto ng pagsisikap natin at sakripisyo ay mabibigyan natin ng malalim na pagpapahalaga at matututo tayong humawak ng pera at mga responsibilidad sa tamang paraan.
Marami pa kung tutuusin ang natutunan namin sa mga panahong iyon. At sa ngayon, masasabi kong hindi pa kami totally settled sa lahat ng aspeto. Nakaahon na pero may mga bagay pang kailangang i-settle.
One sweldo day naisambit ko ito kay Brian,
“Hon, ganito pala pakiramdam ng maraming binabayaran mula rent, bills, expenses sa bahay, at utang. Para bang dumaraan lang sa palad ko ang sweldo. Lagi tayong binabalik to step 1.
Siguro way ito ni Lord para sa Kanya tayo kumapit ng buong-buo sa lahat ng mga pangangailangan natin.” ;-)
And yet masasabi kong anumang paghihirap ang dumating sa mga darating na araw, kampante kaming malalagpasan namin iyon dahil nagawa naming malagpasan itong mahirap na sitwasyon.
Ganito rin naman nagsimula ang mga magulang namin. Dios lang ang kinapitan namin sa mga oras na ‘yun at encouragement and moral support galing sa mga pamilya namin. At masasabi kong ang Dios ay hindi kami binigo dahil inalalayan Nya kami all throughout. Trials refine a person’s character ika nga nila. Pinagtitibay nito ang pananampalataya mo sa Panginoon.
Kung dumaraan din kayo sa ganitong sitwasyon, manalig lang at manalangin palagi sa Dios. Gagabayan din Nya kayo para makaraos sa mahirap na sitwasyong iyong kinakaharap.Walang imposible sa Dios at alalahanin nyo rin itong life verse ko:
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13
And lastly,
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”
I’d like to start this very LONG article with a note of gratitude to God for making things possible from provisions, clear weather, safe travel everywhere and everything else in between. I’d like to thank my dear husband as well for every small and great thing he did for us. I do not intend though to share every wedding anniversary celebration that hubby and I have as there are some moments that make it to social media and there are those which do not. But I thought I’d give credit to our first year wedding anniversary considering that the first year for newlywed couples is the hardest when it comes to adjustment and settling of differences.
Thus, this article will be a testimony on how the grace of God manifested in our first year as a married couple but most especially how God made our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration extra special.
As it is written,
Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD.” – 1 Corinthians 1:31
Amazing it is when a couple makes a really big and extra effort in putting God at the center of their marriage even though circumstances and schedules permit otherwise. If you are to ask me what are they, I’d give a few instances. One would be temptations. Numerous situations will tempt you and your hubby to behave in a manner that is not right with God. This does not just pertain to temptations of the flesh like lust but other temptations like fits of rage, harsh words, doubts, impatience and a whole lot more.
Another would be priorities. I believe most of us are guilty of this: prioritizing those that shouldn’t be. One example was when hubby and I were so engrossed watching movies or checking out social media stuff and then when it was time to hit the hay, we’re both too sleepy to pray. Or that moment when we’re supposed to go to church but we kind of miscalculated our schedules, we ended up doing household chores first.
For us, these were mistakes and/or realizations on how to put God at the center. Going to church is not enough. In fact, we learned that putting God at the center of our lives meant every single thing that we do whether at home, or in work or in school whether we are with each other or with other people, God should always be included. It has to be Him whom we should think about first and consider whether it would be pleasing and honorable to God or whether it is in accordance to God’s will.
I have shared in my first article regarding our 1st year wedding anniversary (1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister and Missus) the nitty gritty details of our lives as a husband and a wife. But in this article, it’ll be more of the “greater learning” that Brian and I have gathered in the 1st year of our experiences together. I haven’t mentioned yet the really not-so-good-stuff that he and I went through although I thought I’ll just give an overview on how most of them went – never good, always bad and sometimes worst.
The worst so far is something that you could think of as unbearable. Not just for us but for those who loved us too which made them intervene so it wouldn’t turn out to be THE worst. I am referring to our parents and our families. They are our mentors in this season. They’ve been there with us since the first day that Brian and I got married.
I couldn’t imagine my life as a wife and we wouldn’t be where we are now after multiple attempts of separating if it wasn’t for God sending these mentors and for all the advice, the encouragement and words of wisdom that our families have shared especially on my side. I felt I had to share some of the tough times that Brian and I went through with them to seek for counsel right away lest I become too emotional over matters and I would overlook important and necessary things.
It has always been my belief to seek wisdom in a matter of different perspectives and never one sided only. Relying on one’s own interpretation of situations could lead to a clouded judgment and in decision making, it is crucial that we get to see the bigger picture of what really goes on. Being a woman, my emotions tend to get in the way thus accountability partners are very much well appreciated on my part.
If there’s one prayer that I have for now, it is that God would continue to protect our marriage and continue to prepare me and Brian and provide all that we needed holistically so that we would be ready in any given circumstance when the enemy strikes. We always remind each other during a heated discussion that it is not one another that we are against but the forces of evil in this world.
I can only love and thank God that through our very trying times being married, God answered our call for help. All those desperate and hopeless times felt like there’s no better way to go through them but to quit and yet God never fails, His love never fails – He always remained faithful and true to His promises and His reminders are always there.
Thinking back of those times when we thought we were the cruelest, most selfish of people going through the most challenging situations ever did God teach us all about humility and submission. Forgiveness makes a whole lot of difference most especially if it is accompanied with sincere apologies and sincere actions of change.
Ahhh yes, those days were over. If they do come back, we know how to deal with it. We may not deal with it completely as perfect as how we should deal with it, but I know and I am positive there will be changes. This is God’s way of perfecting our faith in us. There will be more to come, but looking back, all I ever saw was one set of footprints and that is enough assurance that I have such a powerful God who can lift me up in whatever circumstance I am going through.
Now on to the testimony of our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration, I just don’t know how to express my gratitude and my happiness on how the Lord our God moved in behalf of us. AMAZING. Though this is not enough to describe it, that is the only word from my human vocabulary that I could think of to describe what transpired over that weekend.
August 17 was our anniversary date. It fell on a Wednesday. Brian and I planned our celebration the 1st weekend after that date. I was the one who made all the arrangements as Brian was busy at work and I, on the other hand, had an ample time to spare to inquire about this and that. I was also in charge with the budgeting and it is only Brian’s income that we’re relying on so I need to make sure we won’t go over the budget. So there was me searching all kinds of great but budget-friendly options.
The plan: have a dinner cruise in the evening, then an overnight-stay at the hotel. So there were only 2 items in our itinerary. Then came the cancellation of the dinner cruise as yacht was under maintenance so we were given options to choose among the dates they have offered and August 28 was the nearest from our wedding anniversary though it’s already 2 weeks away from the actual date.But I thought it wouldn’t matter anyway as it still falls on our anniversary month. I am not really particular about dates I even forget them, the special ones included. *wink*
So came August 17, and I thought we’re gonna treat it as a regular day since we’re going to celebrate it anyway. But lo and behold, to my surprise, Hubby arrived home from work braving the heavy rains and all the traffic with something in his hand – a bouquet of assorted flowers. Okay, now he and I had an agreement that I will only receive one flower from him in our entire lifetime together and that will be the first and the last as I will be preserving it – a memorabilia on preserving our love together as a couple. This was the rose that he gave me on our first Valentine’s day date back when we were still dating.
When I saw the bouquet of course I smiled my widest, gave him a tight hug and a sweet kiss and then told him that he doesn’t have to. His answer was that he knew I will like them. So I teased him that now I have so many flowers to preserve and I am running out of glass canisters to put them. lol
Well, I guess both of us knew what each of us wanted because I also made him a video which was a compilation of our wacky shots since we first met up to now. I showed it to him that night as well when he gave me the bouquet.
So now came the week before our final schedule for the celebration. That week had a pretty rough weather we were really running out of hopes that we’ll be celebrating the anniversary with a clear weather which means our plans will be ruined or we’ll make do of what we can. I never thought about canceling our plans but Brian wanted to move it to a later date.
Unfortunately we have limited options in doing so so I assured him to have faith, be patient, trust in the Lord and that we’ll continue praying. Come Thursday Brian was having pressing moments at work. I was sure he will really appreciate being able to do some adventurous stuff knowing the sporty person that he is. So I thought about coming up with another item in our itinerary – go to Rizal and have some nature and adventure fun in Daranak Falls. It was so out of the original plan but I checked the budget, we’ll still make it. I suggested the idea and he approved, excitedly approved actually.
I checked out reviews and blogs about the place and we came up with an itinerary. A few hours before we left, heavy rains still poured every now and then that my husband had dampened spirits too. I cheered him up when we woke up in the morning and saw the sun peering out. But hubby still told me it might rain hard for the rest of the day. We’re going to be doing a lot of road traveling and sight seeing and doing it on a rainy weather is a no-no as roads are slippery and we won’t enjoy the view anyway.
I once again comforted him that God has already answered our prayer request for a clear weather which we’ve been praying for how many nights in a row already. I told him that we should never give up along the way as my mentors would always remind me to look at the bigger picture, never on the road block or the problem that’s blocking the road or the view and to continue focusing on the goal and not on the journey. Our goal was to enjoy our wedding anniversary celebration in whatever circumstance.
So we ate an early breakfast and started heading out. Indeed, the Lord was faithful. For the rest of our first day/part 1 celeb, we’ve been given a clear weather. We’ve enjoyed nature at its best on a sunny weather. Just right because the falls were cool. If it was raining that day, we wouldn’t be able to withstand the cold water for long. But since it was a sunny day, hubby and I just had the best time having a hydro massage at the mini falls across the huge one.
Usually the place is flocked every weekend since it is just an hour ride away from the metro. But I guess since nobody expected for the weather to clear up right away on that day, there was only a small crowd (about 10-15 people) who was enjoying the resort with us. You could choose to roam around downstream, the huge falls, the river bed, the two smaller falls and you’ll still get a space for a nice shot without a photobomber. *wink*
The splendor of Mother Nature.
A very beautiful specie of butterfly fluttering around me while trying to take a good shot of her – the first of its kind.
Here goes hubby’s epic jump!
Here’s a short video of our escapade there (do watch it at 480p):
God is good all the time, eh? But wait, that’s just the beginning of our itinerary. Because the 2 events we originally listed became 8. Well, I couldn’t count exactly because it all just happened out of the blue. We’re like going along the flow whichever God would want us to do and want us to have.
So we got to visit the windmills farm, the parola beside the lake (which I thought was a sea growing up in a coastal area), checked out the old historical church nearby and tried some local cuisine for snacks.
Everything went perfectly well even with how we managed the time (and expenses) and no traffic! Ha! Hubby was sure glad to drive with ease the whole time being surrounded with all the greenery. The car we used was Brian and his brother’s as they have another one for the family car. They share in using it but I told Bri to let his brother use it as they already have a baby and commuting with a toddler is tad difficult. Told him we will just borrow when there is a pressing need like this anniv celeb which happens only once a year. So praise God that the car was good to go as well for this event. 😀
When hubby and I got home, we started preparing for the part 2 of our celeb the next day which fell on a Sunday. Of course, Sundays are meant for God so if there is an itinerary, ggoing to church should be the first priority or if not, it should be included. We planned to stay at a hotel around Ortigas area after our dinner cruise so I suggested we attend church nearby or along the way to Manila bay.
Searched the Victory church website and found one at Robinsons Galleria mall. It has always been a habit for me and Brian to find a church nearby if we have activities lined up on Sunday. It was our first time at Victory Ortigas and every Victory church has their own communion schedule if I am not mistaken. We missed having one in our home church at Victory Katipunan for the month of August. But to our surprise, on that Sunday, it was communion day for Victory Ortigas. Yaaaay! Oh, the goodness of the Lord just goes on and on. A blessed Sunday it was as the events lined up on that day was also the “meat” of the celebration.
Early birds at Victory Ortigas.
After church, hubby and I decided to go directly to Manila bay for our dinner cruise. Guess what too, the new yacht assigned to us caters only a small group of people meaning it will give the guests a more exclusive experience. The yacht looked great too. We were supposed to be served a full-course plated meal with iced tea but since the yacht was small, they changed the caterer and the sea was expected to be rough these months too so they served them in bento boxes. But I preferred it this way because I don’t like my food spilling over my plate when the yacht changed courses or worse, spilling them over my dress. That is my worst nightmare during a date. lol BUT the best part which was not included in the package was a complimentary refillable glass of wine being offered to guests. Yaaay again!
Welcome aboard!
Aboard M/Y Selina.
God is so full of surprises, ain’t He? So hubby and I were enjoying our dinner cruise moment and 1 hour was just not enough especially if you’re gonna take photos around the yacht, eat and drink. Or maybe we were having so much fun we totally lost track of the time. *wink*
The view of the bay from the yacht.
So final verdict? We’re definitely going to relive the experience but on a summer night AND when there is a pyromusical event at SM Mall of Asia. Now that gives you an idea how you could spend a romantic date with your special someone too. Let’s share the love, shall we? We say, cheers to that! 🙂
After dinner we went to SM Mall of Asia to catch pokemons. lol But nope, I am no pokemon go player. My husband tried it out of curiosity thus tried to catch some while we’re still in the area and ordered our favorite fraps at Starbucks located along the boulevard. Now it was late already when we got to Richmonde hotel where we will spend the night away.
Entering this classy hotel will make you lost in translation. I was totally loving the hotel’s elegant interiors probably because I like earth tones when it comes to color choices and gold never fails to magnify the sophistication of every item like black. It was actually the color motif of hubby and I for our dinner date – yellow/gold and black.
We went inside our room which was very cozy by the way and it matched the elegance of the hotel’s lobby. Since we were dead tired because of the previous events especially hubby who was diving and swimming his heart out in Daranak falls, we’ve thought about having a massage. We tried the 90-minute Swedish aromatherapy massage at Nuat Thai near the hotel and I found myself giggling, not because of the massage, but the snoring client beside my room. lol
Well, I couldn’t blame him. The massage was so good, so therapeutic and relaxing it’ll really make you doze off. I am not really a massage lover but I appreciated it so much in a way that it made me so calm and relaxed after the session. Hubby said that he, too, fell asleep. Hmmmm, was he the one who snored?! lol 😀
I didn’t know massages can make you go hungry. *wink* So afterwards, we went ahead and had a tapsilog meal at Rufo’s. When we got back to the hotel we were just so drowsy and we understood why, it’s already 1am! Okay, it’s really time for taps.
The next day/part 3 of the celeb we had our sumptuous and delicious buffet breakfast at the hotel’s cafe. We had no photos as we don’t want to break the sophisticated atmosphere with us taking selfies everywhere. We felt like it’s inappropriate especially when expats were eating beside your table. *wink* We then decided to take a swim at the hotel’s heated pool and we couldn’t capture a pretty decent shot lest some of the guests might be irritated if they’d find out their faces were included in the photo without their permission. I happen to have one taken but a lady just made it in time as a photobomber. lol No offense though, it oftentimes happens. *wink*
His signature squint, my signature pout. 😉
By the time we finished our morning dip at the pool we headed back to our room and prepared for the check out. We decided to have the car washed, loaded up and went on our way home sweet home. Then, it began to rain. 😀
Alas, we’re now finally at the comfort of our quaint little home. This home of ours was a little apartment that my siblings and I shared starting when we were all studying in college. When my eldest sister and brother got married, my second sister worked in Norway and my third sister went to our home province to be with our parents, I was left alone. So now my hubby and I are occupying this place.
I always tell my husband that it is such a privilege for us to live in this minimalist and simple home. We had nothing to worry about the stuff that we needed and my siblings and I used to take turns in doing a house makeover every now and then. So many memories are in here thus it is always a reminder for us to take good care of this humble abode. I used to hate cleaning but I love it now especially when I see the aftermath. We do have plans of getting our own house but we’ll have to wait and trust God and His right time with that. 🙂
The events during the weekend went on smoothly and we’re still right on track with our budget. The provisions of God do overflow when you share what you need to give and you have faith that only God is the sole provider of everything. Besides, it’s better to give than to receive anyway. *big smiles there* Everything was planned out perfectly because God planned it that way. I am just extremely thankful for everything. We just have a great God, haven’t we?
I couldn’t imagine how Brian and I managed to celebrate it with so much ease, no worries and no hassle knowing we were relying on his income alone for our expenses; secondly, his schedule at work was difficult to arrange and lastly, the weather didn’t go well a couple of weeks prior to the celeb. It was a combined celebration of simplicity and elegance, adventure and sophistication, nature and man-made – the perfect balance.
It actually doesn’t matter what are the particulars when it comes to celebrating special moments with a loved one. The good and bad memories that you and your spouse build every single day are enough to remind you of the love that you have for each other which is more important than any celebration in every marriage. Love rules, love wins, and love is all that matters. (I think I heard myself singing that. lol)
But the truth of the matter is that a marriage requires this – FAITH. When it comes to faith, I only have these two to think about:
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. – Hebrews 11:1
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. – Hebrews 12:22
Keep the faith ALWAYS too, my dear brothers and sisters! ❤