The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
If you are single, I have an advice: do not marry.
1. Do not marry if your heart is not in the right place.
And if you will ask me where the right place is, it’s with God. Your heart should be after God’s heart first. Only then will you know how to love your spouse the way that God would want you to love him or her. You cannot give the love that your significant other deserves if you haven’t experienced God’s love in your life, and your heart is not aligned with His.
2. Do not marry if your spouse is not your top priority next to God.
This is where cleaving comes in. You and your spouse were called to be married to build a family of your own – the two of you and your future kids. God will come first, your spouse next, then your biological family, your career, and lastly, your ministry. Do not marry if you cannot be with your spouse through thick and thin.
3. Do not marry if you wish to pursue only your goals.
Talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend about your plans for the future. Make sure that they are aligned with one another, and both of you are going towards the right direction or trying to pursue similar goals in life. AND also, talk it out what both of you plan to do in case one of you changed his or her plans when you’re already married. It is very important for couples to talk about this early on in the relationship. Some marriages fail because they were unable to prepare for this particular scenario.
4. Do not marry if you can’t let go of some of your habits as a single person.
Both of you have to adjust when you finally get married. And this includes letting go of habits such as confiding to your best friend who is from the opposite sex every time you and your spouse are having marital problems. This is to avoid emotional infidelity. Also, prioritize your spouse first before your friends or any other person. If you have only 1 day in a week as your rest day, choose to spend it with your spouse. If your spouse is understanding enough, he or she will allow you to meet with friends and relatives every now and then. Let go of any addiction before getting married, it will ruin your marriage.
5. Do not marry if you haven’t asked your significant other about having or not having kids.
This is very crucial. Sometimes plans when it comes to having kids change after getting married. Talk it out with your partner what both of you are going to do should 5 years after your wedding, one of you doesn’t want to have kids anymore.
6. And lastly, do not marry if you are not genuinely in love with your partner.
What is love? My answer is 1 Corinthians 13. And marry for the right reasons. What are these? Get married because you adore the person so much and can’t live without him or her. Marry the person if you love him or her enough that being with her or him is like being home. Don’t marry if you’re looking for a trophy wife or trophy husband. And don’t marry someone to move on from an old flame. Choose to marry because that is what God has called you to do and you want God to be the center of your marriage. Because when God is included in your marriage, even if it goes through the fiery furnace, it will withstand the burning flames because you both know how it is to love one another just as God has loved you. And it takes three to make a marriage work – God, you, and your spouse.
If you are not yet married, I hope these nuggets of wisdom will help you avoid the pitfalls that trapped so many couples and sadly, they weren’t able to save their marriages. If you are also struggling in your marriage, I pray that God will give you the wisdom, peace, and discernment to make the right decisions. And if your marriage already failed, I pray that you will heal, learn from the experience, and be able to make a new start this time aligned according to God’s will and plans for our lives.
And this is why I couldn’t emphasize enough how important item #1 is. Everything will go back and will have to start with God. This is the only way to make your relationship fireproof until death parts you both – God at the center between the husband and the wife. 🙏
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12
“Hi, I’m Yellow Tin Tuna, I mean Yellow Tin Human.” And there she goes again. 😄
For me, goodbyes are always sad. That’s why tonight, I can write the saddest lines.
Today marks my first day being separated from ze husband. While packing his things inside his luggage, I offered to make him a pretty ribbon as a marker for his luggage just like what I did with mine. But he gently declined my offer telling me that his luggage was fine just the way it is. I guess my unicorn luggage is too pretty for him. 😅
One is going out of the country, the other is going out of town.
Nope, I am not afraid to live alone. I was single for 2 years and lived alone in our old apartment in Quezon City before I met my husband. I was passionately serving God and the church during that time I haven’t given singleness much a thought. I was, in fact, enjoying it.
But as we all know it, God called me to be a wife. Eight years later, here I am living alone again as the wife of an OFW. It’s only for 2 years though. But a lot can happen in 2 years. Adjusting also doesn’t come easy as I’ve gotten used to having my husband around for 8 years.
What I am afraid of now is that I’d get too comfortable living alone given that I’m an introvert and have an affinity for solitude. I’m very comfortable being alone, but I also crave human connections every now and then.
I do love to hang out with a few closest friends and stay up late talking about shared interests. But my default social circle, whenever I am transferring homes, is the church, so connecting with Victory Sorsogon is one of my priorities when I get back home.
I still have to wait for 2 weeks though before I can pack my bags and head home. I was scheduled to have my executive checkup on the 21st and 22nd of April. I just want to make sure I am 100% healthy before I go back to my multitasking, unicorn self. 🦄
When It’s Hard To Understand, Just Trust God
I am never the type who asks the “why me” question to God when I don’t understand the circumstances around me. God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-8). Neither does God expect us to understand the circumstances around us, but He wants us to trust Him completely despite the uncertainty. And yet I can’t help but wonder why God called my husband to work in the Middle East as a nurse when wars are rampant there. Why there?
Just the day before my husband’s flight this morning, Iran initiated missile attacks against Israel. All the flights in the Middle East were canceled and flight operations were suspended, but they also resumed a couple of hours later. My heart sank after hearing the news. I couldn’t sleep well for the past few nights. Why now, Lord? But then, God reminded me about Queen Esther in the Bible and how God chose her for “such a time as this.”
Our Daily Bread Daily Devo
In between our sobs and hugs, I told my husband that we have to stand firm in our calling even if we have to make sacrifices, just like what Queen Esther did. We go where God calls us to go, and we serve those whom He has called us to serve. We may choose not to respond right away because of fear. And we can think that we were able to avoid the responsibility entirely. But the truth is, we are only delaying the calling. The calling will remain until it gets fulfilled sooner or later.
Thus, there is only one response that God requires from us – we obey. Obedience is of paramount importance to God. He measures our faith and our loyalty to Him when we follow Him even if it means our lives are at stake. Not every calling is the same, but every calling will define where we stand with God. Are we with Him or are we against Him?
YouVersion Bible Daily Devo
Different Places, But The Same God
I felt like God wanted me to see our situation now from a bigger perspective. The Middle East is comprised of deserts. Our farm, on the other hand, is comprised of wilderness. Right now, the wilderness and the desert are unfamiliar territories to me and my husband and yet God called us to step out of our comfort zones to serve in these places.
We don’t know what is waiting for us in the desert and in the wilderness. There can be abundance and growth, but there can also be lack and drought. There can be cooperation, or there can be resistance. There can be war, and there can be peace. But one thing is for sure, God is opening doors that He wants me and my husband to enter.
YouVersion Bible Daily Devo
Getting Ready For The New Season
I am beyond grateful that the provisions, guidance, and protection from God are overflowing during this season. Last Sunday, I received another job invitation aside from the ones I received in the previous months. These positions are a bit different from my previous writing jobs.
Job Invite #1
Job Invite #2
These are supervisory roles, too. And yet if God wills it I accept one of these jobs, I know God has prepared and will prepare me well to take on bigger responsibilities alongside my farm duties. All of these opportunities came just in time – I am planning to go back to the workforce, and my previous work experience as a brand journalist and my background in agribusiness will allow me to deliver what the company needs for its business.
Speaking of going back to the workforce, this is also why I need to prioritize my health before starting any job. God is giving me plenty of options to choose from to keep my health in check, and these options are getting better. One of them is the SPOT-MAS offered by The Medical City. I just need to ask my Mom’s oncologist about the difference between the SPOT-MAS and the BRCA 1/2 mutational testing.
The Medical City
Philippine Genome Center
If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while now, you would know by now that I love asking a lot of questions out of my need to learn more so I can make better and informed decisions. And I realized just recently, too, that if you ask way too many questions, sometimes you get a good laugh as an answer. 😅
When I was talking to Healthway Medical’s patient care coordinator about their executive checkup package, I asked how long will it take to finish all the tests. He answered na 7-8 hours daw. I was like, “Whuuuuut? That’s like an entire shift already. ‘Di kaya sa ospital na ang ending ko nyan sa tagal ng mga tests. Mage-extract lang ng dugo, 1 hour ang inabot. Hinimatay na pasyente dahil sa blood loss.” 😂
He laughed so hard when I told him that. I know he was just joking. The tests will only take about an hour or 2. I already got these tests before except for the treadmill stress test, so I already have an idea how they’re done. I was just curious if every clinic has its own protocol when conducting the tests.
I must commend him though for being very accommodating and patient enough in answering all of my questions. And he sure is the right person for the job because he knows how to pacify an anxious patient. I will test this again when he assists me during my executive checkup on Sunday. 😁
Praying for good results. 🙏
Yes, tonight I can write the saddest lines. But I chose not to. Because I am not Pablo Neruda. Obviously. lol How to state the obvious without being obvious? 😄
Seriously, I will remain hopeful for what is yet to come and remain faithful to what is yet to be fulfilled. For now, we continue to rise above the challenges and overcome our fears of the unknown as we answer God’s calling – even if it entails sacrifices, many or few. 🙏
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34
“The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness;..” – 1 Samuel 26:23
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” – James 1:12
Have you ever had those moments when you’re counting the days towards that one dreaded moment? It’s as if each day after the other doesn’t get any better. And you just want to fast-forward everything so you can get it over and done with. How do you make these days more tolerable?
I was thinking of these questions while walking on one of the streets of the condominium compound. The street is beside a school and when I passed by, I heard some students singing “I love Math, I love Math.” And I thought, “Well, good for you because I hate it.” 😅
And if my grade-schooler me is in that class, I’d most probably be singing that song with a poker face. lol I really don’t hate Math. Let’s just say I never got the proper training, thus, learning it was a negative experience for me while growing up. But given the right mentor and ample time to relearn every mathematical formula out there, I’d be happy to do it. Any patient Math teacher out there? Don’t worry, my “Platypus pose” days are over so you’ll be dealing with a 100% mature adult. No tantrums – that I can assure you. 😃
But yes, sometimes I wish I didn’t know how to count so I wouldn’t notice how the days are passing by up to that dreaded moment. So what is that one dreaded moment I’m talking about? It’s none other than my husband’s departure going to abroad.
It is this season wherein I have a lot of “why” questions. Like why is God taking away my husband during a season when I needed him most and I need him beside me. Why take him away from me when I just lost my Mom? Why take him away when the world is going crazy and the effects of climate change, the Big One, wars, and new pandemics such as Disease X can break out any minute in all parts of the world?
There came a point when I asked God if I could go and live with my husband in the Middle East this year or wherever in the world that God would call my husband to serve after his job contract ends. Because I want to insist that I have to be beside him always. And yet, the answer was “no.” The calling for me to stay here is greater.
If I push through with what I want using willpower, I know I can find a way to make it happen. But it will be met with unfavorable circumstances and attaining the goal will be very difficult. It’s like me going against the grain because it is not what God wanted for me.
And then there are the “what if” questions that are always included in these moments of contemplation/bargaining with God. One example is what if he got into an accident while he was there and died without me beside him. Or what if I was the one who got so sick and died while he was gone? Also, what will happen to our romantic life as a married couple? What if this is goodbye forever? And what if we can’t resolve our marital issues while being in a long-distance relationship? And a whole lot more of “what ifs.”
I know only God can answer these questions. But His assurance is always available through His Word such as the ones I listed below.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
Indeed, who am I to question God’s plans? And instead of thinking that this agony from waiting is unbearable, I have to convince myself over and over again that this is for our own good. Instead of thinking about the “why” and “what if,” I’m thinking about the good opportunities being offered through this experience such as what we could possibly gain from this and how we can possibly grow as an individual and a couple during this season.
I think man’s instincts automatically shift by default to survival mode during a separation. It is part of our defense mechanism maybe as far as self-preservation is concerned. And yet no amount of survival instincts can prepare even those who profess as self-made individuals and do not feel the need to have God in their lives.
When God wills it to happen, it’ll happen and nobody can stop it. Our best response in times like this is to let go and always let God take control. It’s as if God was telling me “Tin, why are you so worried about the future? Instead of counting the days, make the remaining days count by creating good memories with your husband while he is still here. Because these are the memories that you get to cherish forever whatever happens in the future.”
P.S. I am not afraid of being alone, by the way. Because as an introvert, I actually love solitude. Being independent comes naturally to me and it sometimes becomes my weakness. I am just the type of person who doesn’t head towards the fire exit when what you and I have built together is being engulfed by flames. I will stand in the fire with you and beside you. ❤️
New Year’s Eve 123123 was by far the most “chill” celebration I’ve had. No stressful planning, no hassle, and everything just went smoothly. Though we terribly miss being with our families during the holidays.
Hubby and I never had any plans on how to celebrate New Year’s Eve except that we will watch the fireworks display in BGC. Our day yesterday started with good news because the result of my repeated urinalysis looked like nothing was off the charts this time.
The doctors are on a holiday break though so I will schedule my consultation with an Internal Medicine doctor possibly on the second week of January.
Lovely piano music courtesy of a patient @ St. Luke’s BGC. 🥰
Then after lunch, hubby and I decided to attend the 5PM service at Victory Fort. I was surprised (but so happy) that I was able to book a Grab ride right away, so we arrived a couple of minutes early.
Victory Fort 5PM Service
Then after the service, we decided to walk just a couple of blocks from Victory Fort to an Indian restaurant called “New Bombay.”
Cozy and very colorful interiors. 👍
I love their huge plates. 😍
When we got to the restaurant, we were the only customers there so it’s like an exclusive dining experience for me and hubby at first. But a couple of minutes later, other guests started arriving.
The menu is about 5 pages long. This means more options and, thus, more reasons to come back to try them all. 😁
I will give this restaurant 5 stars for its great-tasting food, affordability, store accessibility, and excellent customer service. If you’re looking for authentic Indian cuisine in BGC, this is the place to be.
We love Indian food!
They also offer generous servings, and the strawberry yogurt is the perfect drink to pair with the meals. My husband and I tried Mutton Biryani, and I highly recommend this dish. The mutton is so tender, and I like how the spices aren’t too overpowering.
Chola Chat – Samosa
Mutton Biryani(good for 2 pax)
They have a lot of dishes to choose from, and there are also options for vegetarians. We ordered dishes that were somewhat heavy on carbs, so we were just too full to finish everything. lol
Chola Pesawari
Seafood Soup
Then we headed to the concert venue and when we got there, the place was literally jampacked. Hubby and I decided to go to the designated Family Zone instead to avoid the crowd because I’m actually claustrophobic.
On our way to the Family Zone, we ordered Starbucks drinks and oh boy, it took my hubby about an hour to get our order. Long lines were everywhere inside the Family Zone. All the tables were occupied, too, and I was fortunate enough to find a spot on a ledge under the tree. But I think it’s the perfect spot because I got to observe a lot of people. 😃
❤️❤️❤️
Then at around 11:30PM, we started walking towards the Fireworks Viewing Area just a couple of blocks away from the concert grounds.
This BGC catcasually sat down beside me while waiting for the fireworks display. 😃
There were fewer people here, but it’s the perfect spot to watch the fireworks display, which lasted for 10 minutes.
After the concert ended at around 12:50AM, hubby and I chose to stay a little longer while waiting to book a Grab ride going home. We were unsuccessful, so we thought we’ll just walk a couple more blocks and check out what other transportation options we had.
By the way, I prefer walking around because I get to familiarize myself with the neighborhood and observe a lot of scenarios for my next stories. If we brought a car, I also don’t want my husband driving during times like this when heavy traffic’s unpredictable because it’ll get on his nerves and ruin his mood, and he’ll be too tired. I think all guys can relate. 😃
All the beautiful colors and textures are in one frame.
We also passed by a high-end club in BGC and a couple was having an argument. Then another guy looked like he’s already drunk and was about to jump off the second-floor balcony. I was like, “Oh please no, Lord. I don’t want to start my 2024 witnessing a horrible incident.” His friends grabbed him though, so yes, always bring your friends with you if you plan to really get drunk at a party.
Then when we got to the main thoroughfare, my husband was able to hail a cab and by 3AM, we’re already home. My sister’s condo in Pasig is near BGC, so going home isn’t a problem because you’ll have lots of options to choose from.
It was a calm ending for 2023 – simple and yet at peace. I felt God’s assurance reminding me that when He is in control, we have nothing to worry in 2024. I am forever grateful for everything God has blessed me and my family with last year. I pray you are, too. A blessed 2024, everyone! 🥰 🎆❤️🙏
Thank You so much, Lord, for guiding me and my husband always despite our flaws and imperfections. 🙏
“Behold, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.” – Isaiah 43:19
Do you know what is painful when you’re fighting battles? It’s when both you and your husband cry your hearts out while hugging each other because you are in this season where you both feel trapped and are just too tired but have no choice but to stay strong for one other.
And this was after we failed to be kind and gentle with one another – and all that we know we should avoid during arguments (Kraken V. 10 activated). Those kind of moments when our worst comes out after suppressing it for a very long time.
Indeed, the pastor during our pre-wedding seminar some years ago was right when he said that marriage is all about the word “give” because it requires giving and not getting and forgiving each other and ourselves always. Because we will be offending and failing one another often.
My husband never cries, but he does now. So I know that the weight on him of what we are going through is too much. We are both going through transitions that give us little time to process everything. I am also processing grief over the loss of my Mom who, next to God, is the first person I share my problems with when it comes to my marriage.
It is this kind of feeling wherein you both don’t want to let go because you got used to being with each other all the time and yet you are questioning whether what you both have was real love or not. Or if this marriage is still worth fighting for.
Was it just platonic love? We do have great chemistry but the connection isn’t there. And yet we both know that love isn’t all about electrifying sparks and emotions – love is a decision. It is a decision to love your spouse every single day no matter what happens. Because this is what God taught me about love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 4:7
It is a love who seeks to understand rather than condemn. That kind of love that chooses to forgive and be forgiven. It is a love that chooses to fight for what is good over and over again. But also that kind of love who lets go so the other can be happier.
My husband and I still need each other now and be the best friends that we are to each other who console and support one another when we’re going through tough times. And I am praying we both can sum up the courage to bravely face life alone as we pursue different paths. Because only God knows how our story as a couple ends.
I know my husband is torn between leaving me alone here and pursuing the calling that God has for him abroad. My promise to him remains though. Even if we get separated by distance or by choice, for as long as I am married to him by law, I will honor this marriage until such time that he decides to end it legally.
We made a mistake in the past, a sin that we covered up with another sin. Until our sins caught up with us. My husband wasn’t ready to marry. Though it was a decision we made together, I felt like I was at fault because I somehow forced him in a way. We were both victims of our own selfishness.
Unfortunately, both of us can no longer change the past. But I am praying, I am praying hard that God will forgive me and my husband and release us from the bondage of sin. We have forgiven each other, we suffered for our sins, and I pray that God will give us both peace and a second chance to make up for our mistakes and live a better tomorrow whether together or alone.
I assured my husband that if we can no longer carry the burden of everything we are going through now, we call out to God. Always. It is only God who can help us go through every rough season in our lives and deal with the saddest emotions that we have including those that we don’t reveal to others. God is really the only one who can understand when no one else can.
May God help me and my husband end this year at peace with the pains of our past and the uncertainties of the future. I pray that He will grant us the courage to move on and to move forward not forgetting the lessons we learned. And lastly, I pray for strength to be able to let go of one another believing that God’s plans for us are always for our own good. 🙏
P.S. Lord, enough of the drama already. Mabibigyan po ba ako nito ng award sa Metro Manila Film Festival? Hanubey, awat na. Puh-lease langs. huhuhu 😭 Seriously though, I really want to erase 2023 in my memory. But I know I cannot. I can only remember it as it is. No matter how painful. Because there are good things, too, that happened this year. And they are also worth remembering. ❤️
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” – James 5:16
This might be our last, only God knows, our last Christmas together as a married couple. Every goodbye is painful, and it would’ve been really easy to just walk away and leave everything behind.
But that is not what God is calling me to do. He’s asking me to wait a little longer because He still has some tasks for me to do here in Manila.
When I came here, I was asking God for an answer whether to fight for my marriage or not. An incident that took place on my birthday (sadly) prompted me to let go.
I was hurt. Deeply hurt. All the trauma of the past came back – lies, broken trust, and unfulfilled promises. I believe this is also why my infection got worse, my body was going through excessive emotional stress.
I was hoping for a change. But as they say, if people do not want to change, no amount of convincing is enough for them to do it. Unless they, themselves, decide that they want to change.
Finally, the right movie ticketsthis time. No need to change. 🙂
For the past 8 years, I have chosen to forgive even without the promise of change and at times the absence of apologies. It never mattered to me if I was disrespected or if boundaries had been violated.
Because the Bible says that if a brother sins against you and asks for forgiveness, forgive him every time. I was willing to endure. Though there were times when I asked God when will this suffering end.
A change in perspective. God, what else am I missing?
God’s answer to me was to endure until last December 22. I did cry a little bit, but a decision has been made. It was made in peace – a sign for me that God’s discipline is over. I endured, and God is releasing me from the bondage of sin and being unequally yoked.
I would’ve fought this decision over by being stubborn and by using my free will to fight for our marriage. But the day after, my infection got worse and God’s final words came:
“Your willpower is strong, Tin, but your body can no longer take it. I am giving you rest from everything, give you time to recharge, a time to heal so your body can recover, because I have more tasks for you to do. And the mission I am about to ask you to do requires that you are at your best self – healthy, at peace, and joyful. This mission requires helping others and you cannot help them if you, yourself, are dying on the inside and on the outside.”
I am claiming God’s beautiful promise that I will live long and die of old age though there are far too many times that I felt like maybe I would only make it this year or next year because all I ever did for the past years was to survive. So it does make sense if His first instruction to me for next year is to HEAL.
I will stay here in the city for now to help my husband because he needs a place to stay here in Manila while processing all the paperwork. This is the task that God is asking me to do while I am here. My husband is still my brother in Christ, and I will provide any help that I can give because that is the right thing to do in return for all the favors that he did for me and my family.
When awkward silences become unbearable, just take a photo. lol When you’re married, your best friend can also be your worst enemy. 😅
We all have our demons. We all have sinned. And yet, it is only God who can save us from these demons that haunt us every now and then and compel us to do things that we never want to do. And yet, this requires that we work with God, too. God can never save us if we feel like we don’t need any saving.
The acts of salvation and redemption always start with surrendering everything that is dark within us so God can eventually usher us out into the light. God is giving my husband another chance to change but without me this time, thus, God called my husband to work abroad.
My husband working abroad means it will be extremely difficult for us to navigate through every conflict that may arise in our marriage because of the distance especially if he still hasn’t learned from his past mistakes. Temptations will be even greater. If he comes back a changed man (for the better), then this marriage might still stand a chance until death parts us both.
But for now, we will pursue our dreams apart from each other because God wills it – his dream to work abroad and my dream to pursue agribusiness projects in Bicol. I may not see and understand the plans of God, but this separation is a divine calling, and God is asking me to obey.
The processing of my husband’s paperwork for his work abroad has also been smooth with very minimal hassle. I see this as a sign that this is what God is asking him to do for our own good. If my husband finds another woman to love while he’s abroad, then I will accept (though heartbreaking) the fact that I was never God’s intended true love for him.
And yet that will be another problem at another time. But for now, I will keep holding on to God’s promise for me when I saw my first perfect rainbow in Albay back in 2020 accompanied by the first Bible verse below. 🙏
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day, I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!” – Luke 1:45
I oftentimes wonder why life sometimes has a funny way of mocking us. Just when hubby decided to go back to the city and I was left here in the province, Chick (our rogue hen) found herself a dashing young rooster owned by my nephew. They’re so smitten with one another, and they just seem inseparable. I was jealous, of course.
Maybe God is recreating Noah’s Ark here at home by giving us a pair (male and female) of every creature.
We named the rooster Chuck, and though he’s quite very young for Chick, he’s very protective of her and provides her with whatever bit of food he can scour in the garden. Of course, as with most love stories, theirs resulted in Chick getting pregnant.
The firstborn that will end up in the pan. Sorry, Chick. Don’t worry, we will leave your last 2 eggs to hatch so they can keep you company.
Picked the pineapple from the garden, it didn’t come out of the hen along with the eggs (I just want to be crystal clear on this). Hmmm, pwede na pala gumawa ng Pininyahang Manok. Unfortunately, Chick is already a beloved pet. So, she’s safe from the cooking pot.
Unfortunately, their ending wasn’t a fairytale, but a tragedy. When Chick started laying eggs, Chuck’s nowhere to be found. I’m not sure if he’s deserted her, my nephew put him in a cage, he’s found a new hen, or he’s been sold already (and eaten?). Chick’s back to her solitary self again. *sigh*
What’s The Moral Lesson Of The Story, Tin?
So the mockery was, am I seeing my very own love story being played out by Chick and Chuck? Although my husband leaving me here is not an abandonment, and there are also a lot of married couples who were successful in their marriages despite having a long distance relationship.
My separation anxiety just couldn’t accept him being far away though his leaving has a valid reason. I felt like this was God’s way of reminding me that being alone is okay, and love is not about insisting on one’s way. It always, always endures and perseveres.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
No, I wasn’t letting go as a wife. Love is at the very core of Christianity, and if I love my husband enough, then I should not let go. If I did let go, it was to be free from my own fears and to let God reign over them. As of late, I am always reminded by the Bible verses that in the end times, people will be lovers of self. If we are entering the end times as some prophets are saying, then we have to watch out for how the world would tempt us to conform when it comes to self-preservation.
“You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money.” 2 Timothy 3:1-3
Self-preservation is loving and putting oneself above others, and the world places such emphasis on this in light of mental health advocacies (domestic violence is a different case). And yet love in Christianity teaches the opposite – it is dying to ourselves every single day so we can share in the suffering of Christ on the Cross. Only when we become selfless do we have the love that is from the Father, a love that puts others above their own.
A Love Like God Because God Is Love
Is it possible to love like God? My answer is “yes.” If we are truly sons and daughters of God, then the love of the Father should be in us, which now enables us to love like how God loves us. Besides, to love others as He loved us is the second commandment of God. And December is the season that commemorates this great love. I believe it is no coincidence that I am writing about this topic the day before the month of December starts.
Thus, as a flawed human being born in December and yet have been born again through the blood of Christ, I have decided to spend the holidays and my birthday in Manila with my husband as a display of my love for God and to honor my commitment as a wife. Ever since my husband left, we never failed to communicate daily – he pursued me still just like how God continues to pursue us every single day. And yet I am not going to Manila to stay there, but only so we can both be at peace with our decision to go wherever God will call us to serve even if it means being apart for a while.
More so because God is calling my husband to work abroad for how many years on a contract. A great opportunity opened for him to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming an overseas worker, and I can’t help but be overjoyed for him. It’s his answered prayer. Should everything go smoothly in the processing of his application because he’s already halfway through, I told him that his working abroad has God’s anointing and that God is calling him to that country.
Answering God’s Calling
As for me, however, the calling still remains – stay here in my province. I prayed to God if I am where He wanted me to be, and the answer was a clear “yes.” Once my husband works abroad, I am coming back here to my hometown. But I am coming back at peace with my heart whole. ❤️
A lot could happen to me and my husband while we’re apart. The brevity of life teaches us to number our days as the Bible puts it. I have a lot of fears and worries because nobody knows except for God what the future holds for us both. But I also have faith that God is with us, and He is asking me and my husband once again to step out in even greater faith and welcome a new season that we have yet to conquer.
Chick’s love story isn’t over yet, too, whether Chuck is with her or not. I am very much looking forward to the continuation of her life story and also with mine. 🙏
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18
“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 4:8
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
“Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18
On to yet a new journey. ❤
P. S. Speaking of eggs, I just want to share these salted duck eggs from our regular supplier who lives near one of our rice fields. We got this for 12php apiece, cheaper than the ones sold at the market which costs 15php per piece. Maybe it’s because Dad allows their ducks to graze in our rice fields every after the palay harvest. 😉
It is the family’s 10-year-old son who markets these salted duck eggs to Dad when he sees Dad visiting the rice fields. What I love about these eggs is that they’re not too salty, and yet are perfectly preserved. If ever you know of any local farmers in your area, I’d like to encourage you to buy directly from them to help sell off their products fast. You can also be assured that the products you buy from them are fresh and of good quality but sold for an affordable price. ❤
The boy was selling 40 salted duck eggs. Dad bought 20 pieces, and another farmer bought the last 20 pieces. They’re all sold in just a few minutes after he got out of their house. 😀We eat this with tomatoes and onions doused with a little bit of calamansi juice, and you now have a perfect side dish to pair with the other viands for your breakfast. Yummers! 😋
Ater 1 week of hibernating, I can no longer dismiss the “tugging” to come back on WordPress. This will break my yearly tradition of hibernating here for my birthday prayer and fasting, but I believe God has planned this all along.
I also stumbled upon this Youtube video today, and I also felt the “tugging” to share it here. I have a hunch a lot of single people out there need to watch this, especially since December (and February) is usually the month where a lot of single people feel depressed for not having a special someone to spend the holidays with aside from their families.
I hope this video will remind you to appreciate this season of waiting for the right love to come along – God’s best for you. Because if I can give a message to my younger self, it would be this: “don’t be young and reckless.”
This video is about an hour long, you might want to set aside time for this so you can watch it without any distractions. 🙂
While waiting for your special someone, you might want to learn a new dance routine – Bachata. What is Bachata?
“Bachata is a genre of popular song and dance of the Dominican Republic performed with guitars and percussion.” – Merriam Webster
Who knows, you might dance this in the future with your God-given special someone on your wedding day or honeymoon. 😉 I chose “Bailando Bachata” because the beat and melody can also be a perfect addition to your Zumba sessions at home.
Bachata – Couple
You can dance the Bachata as a pair or as a group. I am currently practicing a few Bachata steps though I am no longer new to dancing because I’ve been dancing since grade school. You may read more of my dancing experience here: “When Grace And Aura Captivate You.”
Bachata – Group
The poet in me also loves the English translation of the lyrics of “Bailando Bachata,” but methinks it’s too sensual for my blog. Though I find it similar to “The Song of Solomon” in the Bible. ❤️
Enjoy dancing (while waiting and praying), my loves! 💃🎶🕺
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.” – Song of Solomon 8:6
I am writing something short for today’s post. It’s more like a prayer actually for my brothers in Christ – single and married.
I pray that in every relationship you wish to pursue, may you outgrow your craving for limerence and eventually mature to real love because the latter is what will sustain your relationship until death parts you both.
❤️ Image Credit: WordPress ❤️
Meanwhile, here are some great reads on limerence and true love. May the Spirit guide you as go through them. 🙏🙂
“Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 9:9
I’ve been contemplating this question even before December comes. Recent circumstances brought me to yet another crossroad, and they compelled me to think about the future.
“How will my 2024 turn out?”
It’s bleak. Just like how some of the previous years panned out. The future is and will never be certain, and I guess this is why people become fearful. We do not know what will happen, and it makes us anxious, doubtful, and worried. Because it all has something to do with control. We become fearful of things that we have no control over.
This is what God changed when I became a born-again Christian. He showed it to us yet again when my Mom died of stage 4 breast cancer last August. Money wasn’t able to save her. Not even the best doctors in town can save her. Because in God’s story, it’s already her time to go.
I may not know what the future holds, and yet I am certain about this one thing – I will have to deal with yet another heartbreak. That will be two major heartbreaks in a row – first, my Mom’s passing away, and second, losing my husband.
Separate Lives
No, my husband is not dying. But we are going to live separately, which has a high probability it will become legal. My husband wants to go back to Manila and work there again.
Sadly, Manila is no longer an option for me. I have a strong feeling I’ll die early there given that I have severe allergic rhinitis, and the air is just too polluted. I saw the news recently, and the haze has just gotten worse over the city. We also lived in my sister’s condo when we were there, and we happen to have neighbors who are chain smokers.
This aggravated my allergies to the point that I have frequent nosebleeds that get worse and worse every day. It has gotten so bad that my ENT doctor prescribed an antihistamine that I should take on a daily basis and other medications.
My husband was also tired at work given all the pressure brought about by the pandemic in the healthcare industry, he also needed a break. So we decided to come here to my hometown hoping to make a fresh start since I also work from home.
To make the story short, we came here to Bicol last year, but things didn’t turn out the way we had planned them to. Sad to say, this is one of the reasons why we have decided to separate ways.
The calling for me to stay here and serve the local community is far too strong to dismiss. I thought it was my husband’s calling, too, when we both witnessed this perfect rainbow in Albay going to Manila in January 2020.
The most memorable rainbow for me. ❤
The promises God gave me when I saw this perfect rainbow (my first perfect rainbow) were this:
“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
Unfortunately, these promises were only intended for me. My husband never felt the same calling. It was the opposite for him actually. His coming here only made him realize how much he longed for the city life and the late night outs and “inuman” sessions with his friends and coworkers.
He felt like his social life came to an abrupt halt when he got here. From what I’m seeing, he’s not yet ready to leave his comfort zone. I understand him because he grew up in the city.
All About Marriages
However, I must also say that this was also my trauma for the past 8 years that we’ve been together. How can I forget those sleepless nights when I didn’t know where he was because he was too drunk to text or call me, and he’d arrive home the next day not remembering where he spent the night away?
Or that time when I asked him about a missing bracelet that I gave him, only to find out later on that he’s given it to a female intern at work who took a fancy to that bracelet and asked if she could have it as a remembrance from him (???). Or that female coworker who’d video call him on Facebook, and when I answered, she said she accidentally pressed the call button (???). And a whole lot more of married couple traumas that I chose not to divulge anymore.
Because my husband is not all that. 🙂
I’ve seen him grow from a fetus, I mean, a boy (😉) to a man for the last 8 years. I’ve witnessed how he became this responsible man who is willing to make sacrifices just to meet me halfway.
Although let’s be honest, there are some bad habits that are just hard to break. I know we all can relate to this. Holistic transformation seldom happens overnight.
I actually celebrate individuality in relationships because this is how we grow as a person and eventually as a couple once we’ve both learned to navigate through our differences. I also agree with what the church taught us that we never marry so we can change our spouse.
A marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman and seeks to encourage a spouse to give to the significant other more than what she/he can get from him/her. And yet, it takes two to tango. Love must never be one-sided.
I’d always tell my husband to only change what needed to be changed for the marriage to survive and thrive. I give him the freedom to do what he wants given that it is within the boundaries of this marriage. If what he is about to do will compromise our marriage, and it’s not healthy for both of us as a couple, then he has to be accountable for his actions and address the consequences.
This is why long-distance relationships never work for me. A marriage requires a lot of hard work. Add to it being apart from each other, the probability of a marriage surviving is very, very low.
So, here’s my proposal to my husband if I should decide by the end of the year that I’m staying here in my hometown or somewhere else other than Manila. If he meets another woman, and between me and her he chooses her, then he must file an annulment case first before cohabiting with that woman.
Infidelity is the only reason permitted as grounds for divorce in the Bible (Matthew 19:9). Also, if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave the marriage, he or she can leave any time.
“But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15
So you might probably ask, “Aren’t you going to fight for your marriage, Tin?” Well, I’ve been doing that for the past 8 years. 🙂
I also got to talk to my Mom a couple of months before she passed away and I did ask for her advice regarding this (I’m missing our convos), and she told me that if my husband is not happy here, then I should let him go.
Her suggestion was that if my husband loved me enough, then he should be able to look for other employment opportunities here and adjust just so we could still be together. And yet, I also understand where my husband is coming from.
Where Is Home?
Manila is not my home. It is for him. Bicol is my home. It is not for him. This is the part where I get to go back to what I mentioned in my previous paragraphs about God being in control.
These are matters that are already out of my control. What I’ve learned in my marriage is that I do not have control over how my husband feels, how he reacts, how he thinks, how he decides, and how he behaves. I can only take these matters to God, and tackle issues as they come one day at a time. As Scripture goes,
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6
“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” – Matthew 6:27
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34
But a more pressing concern is the basis of my decision to stay. I need to take care of my health. I am already at a high risk of getting breast cancer. What happened to Mom is a constant reminder to me to stay as healthy as possible.
I was born with a weak immune system, and I have always been the sickest kid in the family. Out of Mom’s 4 watchers when she was at the hospital, I was the only one who contracted Covid.
My sister, Tita Len, and my spouse all turned out negative in their antigen tests and never even had symptoms. I, on the other hand, still have long Covid rashes every now and then.
I tried not to take antihistamines every day, but I can only go on for a couple of days and the congestion will come back, especially at night. These are all minor health conditions though and are easily manageable.
So yes, I know you’re bored already, so let’s cut this short. 😀
This photo might encourage you to keep reading if you want to find out where this was taken. 😉 Photo courtesy of my husband the day before my 36th birthday (12/21/2021).
Trusting God Always
I may not know what will happen next year. Or where I will be. Because I don’t want to be in Manila, and yet I also don’t want to be in my hometown because Mom’s memories here at home make me miss her a lot.
I want to heal someplace else and live somewhere halfway between Manila and Sorsogon. That would be Camarines Sur, but I prefer somewhere close enough so I can visit Dad regularly during weekends.
Albay, maybe? I really don’t know. But before you assume that I am running away from Manila and my hometown, actually I go where God will ask me to go. It can be in Albay or for all I know, it could be somewhere in Batanes or Tawi-Tawi. Or abroad.
One of my sweet escapes – the ocean. ❤️
It’s a good thing that I am a remote worker so I can work from anywhere. Thank God for remote work because it is just fitting for a nomadic lifestyle. If I were also to be asked what are the 3 things that I can’t live without, that would be my laptop, my phone, and my “Go Bag.” Then, you can bring me anywhere.
Yes, a Go Bag will count as one thing, right? lol Nah, it’ll be an unfair answer knowing that everything we need to survive is in the Go Bag. On a serious note, I’ll be sharing more about emergency preparedness in my upcoming articles since we are already in a climate emergency. And no, I’m not a doomsday prepper. I’m just a regular civilian trying to get by in a chaotic society.
Where God Leads, I Follow
About my plan to go someplace else, I’m still trying to ask God for a clearer picture after I saw that perfect rainbow in Albay and received the assurance of a promise. Albay is actually my Mom’s second home (more about it here). My Mom also stayed at my Tita’s place in Daraga and tagged along 2 of my siblings who were still toddlers back then. That was when Mom and Dad had a huge fight, and Mom decided to leave him for good.
But well, as we all know it, love brought them back together. Dad changed his bad habits, pursued Mom, and Mom loved him enough to forgive him, and they actually just celebrated their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary last June 1, 2023. Speaking of love, you might want to watch a movie on Netflix entitled “Love At First Sight.”
It’s a new release, and according to the movie, it’s not a love story but it’s a story about fate and chances. And what do you do with both. I think it really is not your typical love story though the movie title was too cliche, but I must admit it was one of the best chick flicks I’ve watched. I plan on writing a movie review about it, so better watch it now before I spoil it. 😉
To end this long article, I only have one concrete plan in mind for next year. That is, to move forward. Because that is the only way to go and that has always been the case for me ever since I became a born-again Christian.
Is it toxic positivity? I don’t know, but it works for me and I owe it all to God’s grace. It is this undeserving grace that got me to where I am now even if there were numerous times I felt like I wouldn’t make it. I do not plan on wallowing in sadness, grief, and sorrow for a long period of time because that is not living.
I hope this article will also encourage those who are going through very difficult situations to continue to soar. Nothing is ever too broken for God that He can never make whole again. God is not done with you and with me yet. We still have a lot more to do for His people and for His kingdom. We’re still breathing, right? So, LIVE. ❤
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a video of a Brahminy Kite I spotted back on our farm. I love to see them soar up high with wings all spread out, gliding up and down. They belong to the family of eagles and they are not yet endangered but sadly, their numbers are declining. I am praying God will give us the guidance and wisdom to protect them in the Wildlife Sanctuary that we plan to establish inside the farm.I am hoping to partner with DENR/MENRO for this.
And of course, sharing with you my fave song for this week. ❤ May God’s favors be upon you this coming week, dear brothers and sisters. 🙏
The Journeyman's Moments 