How It Feels To Be A Rome

Posted on September 17, 2015 by Christine Lailani

http://www.timeanddate.com

Most definitely you are wondering how can a person be a place at the same time. Or maybe thought that I made a grammatical error there putting the word “Rome” instead of “Roman.” Or mistakenly put the article “a” instead of “in.”

Well, I guess this is part of the perks of being married to a man whose surname is spelled similarly to that of the capital of Italy. The only difference is that the surname is usually pronounced as /roh-me/ or ro:me.

This article though is not about my new surname per se but more of being a Mrs. Rome – the real deal. And of course, to commemorate our first monthsary as a married couple. Just a glimpse on how we fared as a newlywed couple since a lot are asking how it is so far with us. 🙂

Two different personalities living in one roof. Yes, basically any married couple will agree to this. We completely have opposite personalities and backgrounds. And funny it is that all the married couple I know who have been married for quite some time now also possess the same opposite personalities. My Mom and Dad’s relationship is the closest example I have.

At night my husband easily gets cold, I prefer it colder. So we don’t share a blankie. Though when it gets really cold and I am sure I am about to freeze to death, there goes my “human fireplace.” 😉

I am a night owl and wakes up late, he is an early riser and sleeps early. Now, this is really amusing. Because you can imagine me in bed at 9pm, which is the start of my “creative hour,” so there I am lying beside him tinkering with none other than the most handy gadget of everyone, the cellphone – writing a blog post, editing a photo on IG, reading articles and new recipes to try, listing down my things-to-do, and a whole lot of other things. Yes, that is how a phone is essential to me lately. He doesn’t like it sleeping alone so that’s where I come in to keep him company.

But here’s the bad part. I don’t like it waking up early because well, I slept late. 😀 But he wakes up early because he sleeps early. He is all “clownish” and kiddie-like in the early hours of the morning, hyperactive, energetic and all and there’s me grumpy and grunting every time he would disturb my sleep. But I had to cook him breakfast and well, I love him being the happy him, so I just make up all the lost sleep I had when he leaves for work.

One very obvious opposite though that we had a hard time dealing with, as it really is far too obvious to dismiss, is my being obsessive compulsive and him being laid back. I am always on the go doing anything that I can while he loves to take such great time in doing everything. I loved everything spic and span while he loves to just put things wherever he wishes to. And the long list goes on and on. 😀 I’ll be sharing more about how we dealt with this in the latter part of this article.

Another is managing our quirkiness like he removes the skin of a fried eggplant whereas I ate everything; I drink half a cup of any vinegar sauce/dip while he watches me with mouth agape. And we let it stayed that way. I mean, it doesn’t harm any of us when we do it. But I really wonder what is the difference of removing the skin of a fried eggplant when he eats the skin of an eggplant in a soup? Probably the same way he is wondering what joy/health benefits can I derive from drinking vinegar sauce. The best thing to do really is to let those quirky stuff about one another stay as they are. They are what makes us unique. 😉

We have opposite interests too that seem to complement like he plays the drums, I play the guitar. He wants to learn how to play the guitar, I want to learn how to play the drums, we want each other to teach one another – we don’t have the time. So yup, we kind of complement each other there having no time at all. 😀

We do have our common interests too like we were so engrossed watching the previous episodes of The Walking Dead at night that we suddenly realized it’s been more than a week since we had our cuddling and romance time. Yes, forsaking romance over a TV show. We just laughed at the idea for we both know cuddling and romance time will always be there. Well, as it is written in the bible, everything has its own perfect time. 🙂

Those were some of our personality differences and commonalities. Here comes the adjustment period or what we commonly know as “compromises” or meeting halfway. And just a heads up, it really is not as easy and as simple as it sounds. This is where the true test of character and faith in God enters in.

We grew up in different family backgrounds, system of values and upbringing which includes personal relationships with our parents and our siblings. Mine was sort of the traditional, reserved and independent kind while they are more of the intimate, really close and dependent with one another kind. This became a big struggle for us both especially on his part as the time has come he has to let go of those attachments and I know it will never be easy. I already made this letting go of attachments when I came here in Manila to study in college and left my parents in Bicol after the first 16 years of my life growing up with them. It was also a tough decision to make but I had to do it, my parents had to do it. It was painful, it wasn’t easy. There will be tears, there will be heartaches and my husband had to deal with it just now.

It took me a while to understand that, like how my siblings were patient with me when I dealt with my homesickness. I, too, should offer the same kind of sympathy, understanding and patience to him. Sometimes conflicts would arise because of this – but God’s grace always intervene enabling us both to consider what really matters at the moment. He helped both me and my husband understand what needs to be understood, what needs to be accepted and what needs to go. Slowly, the changes happened bit by bit and will continue to happen. It is all a question of who should we honor in this relationship – you, me, them or God?

Adjusting to one’s personality is difficult. That is why I would always explain to my husband that it is true what was shared in the Marriage Preparation seminar in church that it is best for newlywed couples to have their own “kingdom” because if it is already difficult for two different personalities to live in one roof, imagine if you are staying with your families, that will be multiple personalities in one roof – it will call for a major clash and chaos.

Sometimes there will come a time wherein adjustments, changes, and compromises do not come as you wish them to be. You have to prepare yourself for deviations, unfulfilled tasks or obligations and unmet expectations – a lot of those will happen which will fuel heated arguments, sleepless nights, crying spells and sadness. BUT take note that they should only happen for a certain duration of time. My brother and Mom told me that both you and your spouse have the choice to make the marriage work at ALL costs and it is only through your joint efforts that you can change the course of your marriage from something bad to something good. Well, it always has been a rocky start for any newlyweds. That is why my husband and I resorted to one best weapon to protect our marriage – PRAYERS.

We have both decided to make it part of our daily tasks to pray during the night before sleeping and in the morning when we wake up. I get to pray at night since he is already tired from work, and he gets to pray in the morning because I am still sleepyhead at that time. 😉

Indeed, I can say that prayers are really so powerful that it never ever, ever failed to lift us up each and every single day. We would notice that when we skip even just one night or morning without a prayer, things don’t go as well as they should be. The attacks of the enemy are greater. So we made a promise that even if it is so tempting to just lie down and not pray or just skip praying and hurry going to work, CHOOSE TO PRAY.

And there really is something about praying that moves the Spirit within us. It always leaves you amazed. For example when we pray, we don’t usually talk what we would pray about, we just leave all of the praying to the person in charge. This way, we let the Spirit lead the prayer. And sometimes when it is my husband praying, I just want to cry at the middle of it. Because he would pray EXACTLY about the things that my heart wanted to pray for. They were not things about the marriage per se so I wonder how could he possibly know that that was what I wanted to pray too. So yes, after the prayer, there I was with a huge smile ready to greet him when he looks up. And when you say “Thank You,” you know that you are not only thanking the person in front of you who prayed for you both, but you are also saying your gratitude to the Spirit within him who made him utter that prayer.

And I have also proven the fact why men were appointed by God to be spiritual leaders. My husband prays very concise prayers while I, being the multitasker woman, with neurons simultaneously working with one another, I forget what I am praying in the middle of my prayer. UGH.

Ugh indeed. 😀 It is a good thing my husband has been listening attentively to what I am praying, so when I asked him what was I praying about with all the giggling and the laughing, he would tell me where I stopped – with all the serious look on his face. 😀

This makes me stop giggling, say my apologies and resume praying. I admit that it is very embarrassing. But how can I help it – me being the amnesia girl always and a lot of things going on in my mind always. Indeed, it is a matter of male and female brains – the male brain was created to focus and be good at one task while the female brain was made to be good with a lot of tasks but not so good in each of them. Men know how to decompartmentalize, while with us, women, well it is all chaos. 😉

Here’s an example. I asked him to chop the ingredients we need for a meal I am cooking. And when I saw it, he got to finish it half the time I usually spend to finish it and he does it with the perfect cuts. I, on the other hand, I get to cook in one stove, prepare the table, wash the rice but with some mistakes here and there.

This is where he becomes my superhero/knight-in-shining-armor Adonis. He does some of the tasks that I can no longer accommodate with the heaps that I am currently doing or about to do. Like after cooking, he does the washing of the dishes. Or if I wash the laundry, he irons the clothes. Like there is one time that though I have listed all the ingredients I needed for a meal, I still missed one important ingredient. So there he went out the door buying that one ingredient. Good thing there is a nearby market from where we live. 😀

This wasn’t all too easy for him, the chores I mean. Since they grew up wherein everything was done for them even until now – from cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. But that was how they were raised so I needed to respect that and yet as my partner, I would need him to help me out with the chores too. I grew up the opposite wherein I learned things quite early in my teens and doing them now is just a piece of cake for me. So the adjustment there was me, handling a bit of an extra work load, as there will now be two persons living in the house instead of only me while he gets to slowly learn how to do things here at home. It required both of us to really exert all the patience, understanding and endurance that we could muster.

And yet God reminded us to do everything with love not as if you are doing it for men but for God. 🙂

I am just grateful though that even if the schedule now for me is pretty hectic balancing everything here at home from budgeting to chores, to reading articles, doing research for my thesis, plan meals, etc. my cooking did not suffer – this is what I dread the most. 😀 I admit I am no very good cook although I do know how to cook. But after getting married, I now was given this responsibility to serve good and delicious meals to my husband and my future family. And if I’d be too tired already, I know I wouldn’t be able to serve the best meals. But because everything should be done with love, the output contains love. 😉

It is enough compliment to see your husband munching and gobbling his food away, texting you after breakfast saying his gratitude for a hearty, delicious breakfast and for taking good care of him and this last one, which I really laughed out loud when he told me this:

“Honey, please don’t cook food that good so we won’t get fat as I don’t go to the gym anymore.”

Now that really cracked me up. I was having hysterics when he told me that and even more when he said that he really was serious. I mean, how do I cook bad food?! 😀 I did not learn how to cook just so it would taste bad. LOL But oh well, that is my sweet husband back there – yup, my sweet, completely opposite partner in life. 🙂

So the question I asked was, do we have to be really completely the same to get along?

This is where God comes in. If God wanted us to be the same, He would have created us with the same personalities. But we all know that that was not part of God’s universal design. No single creature in this world is the same, not even identical twins. I guess we can settle in the fact that God intended it to be that way because He created each and every one of us unique and beautiful in its own way.

A marriage demands patience, understanding, endurance and most of all forgiveness. A marriage is not about yourself anymore, but more about the other person you married. It is all about giving and never about getting. The most important thing is respect to one another and the differences you have and the willingness to adjust to a routine, agreement or compromise that is comfortable to both of you. I just want to share what we have learned in the Marriage Preparation seminar for it really comes handy when the need arises.

“3. Being united to your spouse requires Christ-like attitudes:

When a habit irritates, choose MERCY.
When a hindrance frustrates, choose GRACE.
When a hurt grieves, choose FORGIVENESS.”

There will be heated arguments, disagreements, failures and mistakes because a marriage is about two imperfect and broken people being joined by God’s Grace. God’s Grace and protection thru prayers will lead the marriage. For God is love and love is God. Without God in the marriage, it is impossible to give our spouses the love that they deserve.

God intends to teach a married couple only two things: for the husband, leadership and for the wife, submission. 🙂

As a wife, I have a lot of questions, fears, doubts and worries. And yet God would always assure me to never worry about tomorrow but just listen intently to what God instructs you to do for today, for the moment.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34

P.S.

You will never learn the nitty gritty details on how it is to build and protect your own family without the wisdom shared by the families you came from. I love my family and my husband’s family and I wish to honor them as one of God’s appointed blessings in ushering us in our married life. 🙂

On Civil Weddings and Believers

Posted on August 29, 2015 by Christine Lailani

I’d like to start this article by saying that my civil wedding posed a lot of interesting questions based on two grounds:

I am a devoted believer.
The assumption that I am yoked to an unbeliever.

The following two questions are the frequently asked and I believe it is just right that these questions popped up for a lot have been under the cloud as to what really is what, causing some to stumble in their faith which, as believers, we are not supposed to do to others. I admit I, myself, am being corrected each and every single day. And I mean, each and every single day. So these questions and the answers to them are a breather to me as well. 🙂

First question:

“If you get married through a civil wedding, does that make your marriage unholy or a sin?”

Second question:

“How would you know if your future spouse is a believer or not?”

For the first question, we were already informed during our Engagement/Wedding Preparation seminar in church by our pastors that there is nothing wrong being married through a civil wedding. Tradition, which is cultural, and social norms (which can be a misconception) imply that a couple be wed in church with all the grandiosity of the entourage and the reception. I intend to share this in another article for I did find a lot of blogs of unhappy brides during their grand, dream weddings.

I cannot claim expertise on this matter and our pastors only shared a few insights as to why it is okay to get married through a civil wedding but I did find this article on one of my favorite websites when it comes to dealing with familial and relational issues Christian-wise.

I highly recommend you to read this article and read more related articles in their site as they were all insightful:

http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/26434/~/a-christian-view-of-civil-marriage

And also this one:

http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/26208/related/1/session/L2F2LzEvdGltZS8xNDQwODM3MTQzL3NpZC9BNVI2TDZ2bQ%3D%3D

For the second question, I honestly admit I struggled with this in the early stages of my relationship with my husband back when we were still dating. And I believed I made two common mistakes that believers do unknowingly: judge and condemn. Reading this article came as a rebuke. And if you are to read my previous articles too, you will know that the Spirit also made the rebuke through the Scripture and selected bible verses that are truly answers to questions and doubts I have been brooding over for a time. I hope to share this article with you as again, I cannot claim any expertise on this matter as I am no minister or theologian, I am just a writer who writes from her soul. 😉

This is a very long read but please do take time to carefully read through the important points:

http://www.concordant.org/expohtml/TheEvangel/WhatIsABeliever.html

And since I have posted articles here written by people I do not personally know, I’d like to post a disclaimer that it is best to read through all of them with the guidance of the Spirit. And by the end of the day, it is still the Scripture that we should rely more for Godly wisdom. But these articles were written by people who also composed the body of Christ and I believe they were also called to do the mission/task that God has appointed to them. As my brother would always say,

“It is always a matter of faith. It has been and always will be.”

And for my personal advice as a sister in Christ, I recommend consistent praying and undying faith will lead you to where God would want you to be. I had a lot of fears, I used to, had a little bit now but this is what God particularly assured me for my relationship with my husband now (shared this revelation in my previous articles):

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18

08/17/2015 – Sealing The Commitment

Hold on to God, hold on to His Word, seek His counsel and as one brother in Christ of mine advised, “overload yourself with prayers.” What matters is the commitment – honor the commitment, honor the decision you made out of love for your partner, honor your God-given free will when you used it to make that decision, then you honor God.

Of course, I am looking forward and very much excited to have our church wedding wherein all our beloved families and friends are complete to witness our re-affirmation of wedding vows to God officiated by a minister this time. 🙂

P.S.

What was so funny during our civil wedding ceremony was that we were told by the clerk that our signatures were almost similar. When we looked at the marriage certificate, we can’t help but agree.

AND I really wonder why I decided, decades ago, to use this signature of mine which is so, so far from my initials. It doesn’t look like a letter “C” or letter “L” or even a “G.” My husband’s signature looked closer to his initials though. Oh well, the wonders and the mysteries never end, do they? 😉

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

What’s In A Name and A Number

Posted on August 27, 2015 by Christine Lailani

What’s with numbers?

I was already prompted to list down this topic a few months back, 6/26 to be specific. But it stayed as a draft until now, 7/27.

I guess one reason was that I only have limited information to share about it at that time. But the Spirit knew that time will come, this article will be published in its due time and will bear more meaning, which is today.

If you will look closely at the time, yup, I had this revelation during my “creative waking hour.” That particular time starting 10 in the evening until midnight. If you have read my previous articles like this one – https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/the-promise-rings-2/, it’ll give you a bit of information already regarding the significance of numbers, including time, in the bible. But then, it was a bit vague for me before. But now, looking into the topic deeper made me understand things even better – an enlightenment yet again.

Which will bring us to this conclusion: God did not create Mathematics, numbers, formulas and figures for nothing. Yes, obviously they are what makes some innovations and technologies run in the present day such as the world wide web which is composed of a system or network that deals mostly with numbers.

BUT, a deviation from that is the idea or assumption that God also embedded numerical figures in the Scripture to also serve as “solutions” to “problems” to “make things work.” I know Mathematicians (like a brother in Christ of mine) will agree that the solution to a Mathematical problem is through formulas/computations to arrive to a CLEAR and DEFINITE answer. 🙂

I interpret it in the bible as decoding the numerical symbols. Take note, I now used the word “symbol” which is also similar to “signs” and “codes.” But no, this is not an adaptation from Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. I am just sharing a wisdom that was passed on to me and it was out of my passion to seek for Godly wisdom that I believe led me to knowing more about the biblical significance of numbers – through the guidance of the Spirit of course. Reading this article might lead you too in studying more about the Scripture and the numbers and be enlightened, amazed and feel more connected to God. I cannot tell exactly if that is how you will be receiving the information as I believe each of one of us was called by the Spirit to learn and interpret things differently. What matters is how POSITIVE the learning experience was for you.

If it led you to disillusionment or posed more doubts and negative questions, then possibly you need more of the Spirit’s guidance in interpreting what was given or shown to you – through a prayer. Seek for guidance and discernment as doubts will be the enemy’s weapon to use his most powerful way to trap you under his wing – deception and lies. Seek for the TRUTH. Pray it aloud, say it aloud to God, He will and He will lead you.

But if it led you to a positive response such as enlightenment, amazed, a clearer understanding of everything, a process of piecing one puzzle after the other leading to near completion, and a better appreciation of God’s Word, then it is by all means, a guided learning from the Spirit. Say a prayer of gratitude when this happens for wisdom doesn’t have a price tag, especially if they came from God. That is how precious it is and that is also why we should guard it at all costs by not allowing the enemy to use it against us through prayers. He did use it against Jesus but Jesus is the TRUTH and nothing can stand against the TRUTH. For He is the ONLY way and the LIGHT which is stronger than darkness.

As this article tells us that,

So let the fun “decoding” begin. 😉

Let me start by sharing the numbers that are usually attached to significant events that happened to me personally. These realizations came flooding in like one big bright light eureka moment just last night. Amazing, it is. 😀

2002-58885 (This is my student number or ID number in college where I am now completing my graduate study. We refer to this as our “life line” in UP Diliman as you will use it and you will be identified through it more often than you use your name in your entire stay in the university. Believe me, this is how the students connect with each other especially when it comes to “batches” and other interests come after this.)
8/8/2008 (This was my first job wherein I was able to the help the deaf and mute community by relaying their messages to bank representatives, restaurants, personal calls to families and relatives, etc. and allowed me an opportunity to save money and buy this laptop I am now using and my dslr – both are serving their purposes in fulfilling the mission God appointed to me.)
96 (This is my favorite pair of numbers as it stands for my first name which is Christine and my surname which is Ginete.
3/3/13 (This was the day of my salvation, the day that I was born again.)
8/17 (The very recent significant numbers, which is the date of my civil wedding.)

If you will notice, I never selected these numbers. Not even our civil wedding date (I will share more a bit later). Yes, it was predicted already even before the world begun. I think I know what you are thinking. 🙂

For starters, what’s the significance of my student number 2002-58885? Let’s remove 2002 and focus on 58885. In the bible, the number 5 represents “power and Divine grace.”

The number 8 symbolizes the number of salvation. And the “gematria of the name Jesus in Greek is 888: a trinity of eights, the fullness of salvation!”

To interpret my student number it will be this: Grace + Jesus Christ + Grace. 🙂

8/8/2008 was the year that I was hired at my first job, which originally operates after a good cause – that of helping the deaf and mute community in the US. I loved this job, the mission, my workmates, the financial benefits and this is the reason why I decided to pursue a graduate study in Special Education wherein providing assistance to the deaf and mute community is among the areas that this specialization covers. But God intended I leave the company, much to my regret, but it gave me the opportunity to pursue my graduate study full time.

Again, trinity of eights which represents the name of Jesus. Of course there is 2 or 20 but I know that this date is somehow special to me. Again, it is not a coincidence I got hired on this date. 🙂

96 is a pair of two numbers that represents the letters of my first and my last name. Thus, they became my favorite pair of numbers. Little did I know that it has a biblical significance. 9 is related to the number six as stated in the article below:

“It is significant of the end of man and the sum of all man’s works. Nine is therefore the number of finality or judgment.”

3/3/13 was the day of my salvation at the age of 27. According to the article below, 3 is the number of perfect completion for the Jews and it symbolizes the perfection of the Godhead – the Most Holy Trinity. More of this can also be found in this article:

8/17/15 was our civil wedding day. Yes, this is the newest entry in the revelations I’ve had pertaining to numbers. We actually didn’t plan this date as true enough to what our spiritual mentors told us, an engaged couple will be tested all the more as the engagement period gets longer. Two days prior to my claiming our Marriage License, there came a conflict that almost made us cancel the wedding. Indeed, the longer the engagement period becomes, the more that the enemy will get stronger in attempting to make the relationship fail so it wouldn’t end up in a marriage.

We only have two reasons why we pushed through with our civil wedding: loved ones from our families cannot come on the date that we have decided to have our church wedding this year and we were advised not to have a long engagement period.

And of course, since it is a special moment for me and it happened, I sought for the spiritual significance of the numbers. I am already familiar with the number 8 but I am not sure with 17. So I decided to search for it and it is through this need to learn about it that this article came into completion and I was able to slowly connect one dot from the other and put one piece of the puzzle after the other.

What was even amazing is that the combination of the numbers 7 and 8 “has a remarkable connection.”

And that the number 17 “symbolizes overcoming the enemy and complete victory.”

Therefore 8/17 means salvation/resurrection/new birth and overcoming the enemy/complete victory.

And here’s more…

We did not even predict that this will be our wedding day. And yet, when I checked my website out of the blue, I received a notification that my site statistics shoot up on this day. So out of curiosity, I checked it out. And here are my findings:

It is amazing how these numbers fell on the list: 8, 40, 7, 2, 33, 36, 5 which all are significant numbers in the Scripture. Which made me contemplate, were these 8 persons who viewed my page can be called as “angels?” 😀

What amazed me too is staring at this part of the statistics with mouth agape the following day:

I interpreted it as Holy Thursday or Thursday of Mysteries to some and there goes the 3:00 AM time frame. And guess what day is today? 🙂

What about the names?

I have previously contemplated and made an article on this or have mentioned this in my previous articles like my name Christine which means “a follower of Christ” and I ended up being married to a Joseph which I firmly believe as God’s will. And just a random thought came up how many months back that if ever I bear him a son for our firstborn, I will name him Zaphen which is short for the Egyptian name of Joseph, Zaphenath Paneah, meaning “ruler of nations.”

I mentioned in a previous article too regarding my husband’s Dad who has coworkers whose names are Job and Revelation. I have read the book of Job but I haven’t read the entire book of Revelation.

So that’s what I read just recently and a lot of thoughts came in. All were assumptions and yet I know I cannot claim with utmost authority they will turn out to be true. Well, the human part of me tells me I just have a mind of a writer that is why my imagination goes as far as it can go given some certain information – piecing the puzzle together. But I know all will be revealed in God’s perfect time according to God’s perfect ways. 🙂

But do allow me to share what my findings are which I find sort of interesting and exciting but with a little bit of fear and uncertainty. Yet God never fails to assure us in this verse:

Hebrew 10:43 NLT

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.”

The book of Revelation is all about Jesus’ second coming. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you read it as I believe God is calling us to read it. 🙂

It was indicated in the book what will happen in that second coming. There was a mention of the Great Earthquake, thunder, the 144,000 chosen people who will be saved (which includes those from the tribe of Joseph), the 7 churches, the angels, the devil, and lastly the woman who is pregnant with a baby who will rule the world and Satan chases after her so he could snatch the baby away from her but God made sure the woman and the baby are well-protected.

Me and my husband do not plan to have a baby this year, but if God wills it, then I know there will be a baby. If I conceive this month or next month, I am due to deliver the baby by May or June 2016.

The number of the enemy/beast/Satan is 666 or 616. My graduation date from my Master’s degree in UP Diliman falls on 6/26/2016. If I indeed graduate, which I really am hoping will happen, it will be freedom from the long struggle that I have been through trying to finish it for about 5 and 1/2 years now.

I can’t help but wonder, is 6/6/16 or 6/16/16 or 6/26/16 or the days after that be the moment that the reign of the enemy will end – Jesus will come? But then, only God REALLY knows when. 🙂

But when Jesus arrives, I have the Spikenard perfume to anoint Him, like what Magdalena did. Kidding. *wink* Well, honestly, arriving to this made me smile so big that I thought, “Okay Tin, people might think you are now talking rubbish.” Well, I have a God who does a lot of mysteries you can’t help but just smile your biggest and your sweetest when you encounter one. 😀

Sometimes knowing things makes you a bit scared but for the whole part, there goes the enlightenment. Usually it is associated to the purpose that God has called you to fulfill which is your mission. And yet, you will also be reminded of the verse I shared before this. There really is nothing to be afraid of or that maybe things happen by chance. For I believe they all happen because of a purpose – that of fulfilling God’s plans.

Prior to the wedding, I was so busy with everything and yet I felt the urge to share stuff about my faith on this blog but because I was so tired, I always would skip it until the next day. Until a sure message from the Spirit finally pushed me to sharing this. I encountered this comment from a cousin of mine (Hi Nadja! *wink*) in one of the bible verses I posted on Facebook. And I know it is one of the “gentle tuggings” calling me to go back to my mission – share my faith through my blog.

Do you believe in miracles? Yes, I do. Because I believe in God and in Jesus Christ, of whom all the wonders and mysteries in this world were made possible through faith. It’s just that my mind is very limited to knowing and interpreting the entirety of God’s plans and schemes and how they work because I am only human and I am no God. 😉

To end this, I will just share this devotion I had in one of my bible study plans from my You Version bible app and just want to highlight what faith and patient endurance mean. For I know that is what God wants us to have in preparation for the Second Coming. I know that for believers, it will be so much rejoicing and celebration – a very happy one. 🙂

“Genesis 37:1–36

Rachel, Jacob’s favorite wife, bore only two children: Joseph and Benjamin. She died giving birth to Benjamin, at which time Jacob seemed to transfer all his affection for her to Joseph. His favoritism stoked intense jealousy among Joseph’s ten older brothers, and Joseph’s dreams that they would all bow down to him pushed them over the edge.

Even though Joseph’s life seemed to go in the opposite direction of his dreams, God was already working to fulfill those dreams. That’s often how God’s promises function in our lives: We trust in God, but then our circumstances contradict our faith. In the process, our faith is stretched, strengthened and eventually satisfied. Sometimes that process takes years—it certainly did for Joseph—but in the end faith and patient endurance are duly rewarded.”

And last but not the least, it also came perfectly in time that one of my best soul sisters shared to me this great movie on Facebook just a few days after all of these revelations. I highly encourage you to watch this – just the perfect ending perfect to cap off this article. 🙂

We Just Don’t Know

Posted on August 15, 2015 by Christine Lailani

I was in the middle of washing dishes when a thought moved me to a realization, moved me to tears that moved me to declare God’s Greatness.

And the only thing I could blurt was: “How could I be so negative about everything just because what has happened or what is happening are not what I have expected?”

I have learned that working abroad and leaving your family behind is not an option for every couple. I believe this is the reason why more emphasis on this is given nowadays to every young couple. And though I have learned this now, it somehow gave me an opportunity to regard couples who have already made this decision in a negative way thinking why they made that decision or why did God allow them to make that decision – which is wrong.

Because by doing so I was judging them unknowingly. It was only today that the Spirit led me to God’s answers. A gentle tugging of the heart that led to once and again and as always – humility.

My fiance grew up in this set up. I do not know how it was for him as he never shared anything to me about this and I don’t want to be the first to ask him. Guys never share emotional stuff on a regular basis compared to the ladies. 😉

But I did feel the lack that he feels. Especially when as a future husband now, we got to talk things about priorities and me wanting my children to grow up in a setup wherein both of us are physically present advising him that their parents’ case is different than ours. And I cannot tell if I hurt him in one of those conversations touching one deep wound or scar.

And yet this is where God proved to be so faithful in His promises. When I met my fiance, he did not fulfill the requirements that our church asks in choosing a Godly man for a partner. But like I shared previously, my fiance believes in God, goes to church but did not go thru the “legalities” of the church to be saved or like how I was saved.

I prayed to God about this in the Prayer and Fasting 2014. And when we became a couple, I have made my decision without a doubt. But little did I know that this little “technical issue” could be used by the enemy to deceive me with his lies.

And yet I also believed that God allowed it to happen so I could be tested. A lot of conflicts came to the point that I always tell him it is because he is not yet that devoted that is why we are having these conflicts. And yet God would always rebuke me to the point of utmost humility that it is actually I who have so little faith.

This verse was His reminder:

“Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.” – Galatians 2:16

Daily Devotion

And also this:

“Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” – Romans 14:1

Then I told my fiance once that as my future husband he will be the spiritual leader of our family – a concept that he had a hard time grasping as he didn’t know how because this was not the kind of family he came from.

And yet God was so faithful. For though my fiance’s Dad is so far away from them and he gets to visit the family for a short period of time once a year, God still made sure he will fulfill his role as the spiritual leader of his family.

Yes, no oceans are wide enough and no land is ever far enough for God’s love and His promises to be fulfilled, which was the realization that I had just now.

My fiance shared to me that two of his dad’s best coworkers were here in the Philippines for a visit and requested they all have dinner with them. He told me that these two are the ones that his Dad are closest with at work and gets to share a lot of things with. And what I heard next from my fiance came as a surprise to me:

“They told me and Buds that my Dad would always tell them that they reminded him of his sons back home as they are our age. But what made me cry is when they told us that our Dad would tell them everything about us and how hard it is to live without your family.”

And it was also this that I cried. For I believe those two work buddies were actually angels sent by God to accompany my fiance’s Dad all throughout the different seasons that he is in away from home. God honored the sacrifice and yet it could also be so that God’s plans will be completed. For it was also through them that my fiance’s Dad exemplified the role as the spiritual leader of his family. For he would request my fiance to download podcasts during church service and the movies that he selected that has something to do with faith. My fiance gets to hear those podcasts and gets to download the movies and he gets to watch it too.

One of those two buddies also happen to have a fiance who is a SpEd teacher in California. The same as the field I am specializing right now and most definitely will be my future career too. 🙂

You wouldn’t believe me, but I know you would just like I did when my fiance told me what were the names of the two best buddies of his Dad at work – Job and Revelation. 😉

I have long held on to the fact that nothing is ever a coincidence with God may it be good or bad in our own knowledge and interpretation. And I believe it is in this faith that God made me see how true He is in His promises. I read the book of Revelation and it all came as a promise of an assured hope.

I held on to my relationship with my fiance though times would come that we are sure we could not see the light anymore and we are sure that we are becoming totally exactly the opposite that God wanted us to become – totally undeserving of His mercy and forgiveness. And yet God stayed faithful and true to His promise in these times of vulnerability and “nakedness.” By prayers, forgiveness and faith, my fiance and I held on to our commitment as an act of honoring God, His unwavering love and His faithfulness.

It is in this relationship that I was brought closer to God. It is in this relationship that I sought Him with all my heart. And it is in this relationship that I was more in tune with the Spirit, the bible verses became more meaningful to me and I can apply what I am learning from the Scripture. It was thru his mom that I got my first ever Our Daily Bread devotional which feeds my spiritual hunger daily and it is thru my fiance’s Dad that I got hold of the Spikenard Magdalena perfume which prompted me to read more about it learning more Godly wisdom in the process.

In short, it is in this relationship that I am learning more of God and His love every single breathing moment that I make each day.

It’s just that, I didn’t know – at first. And I used to have so little faith. 😉

“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

The Holy Perfume: Spikenard Magdalena

Posted on August 9, 2015 by Christine Lailani

This article has 2 advertising purposes: product review and faith.

I seldom review a product unless it is for sales and marketing purposes, but let’s just say that this product requires a review to highlight its role in the early Christian faith.

Spikenard Magdalena is a perfume that my fiancé’s Dad gave me as one of his presents from his travel to Jerusalem. Ah yes, it is one item in my bucket list that I would love to do someday – to go on a pilgrimage to the holy land, Jerusalem. 🙂

And yet if time comes I won’t be able to do it, I am just extremely grateful God used my fiance’s Dad to be a channel of blessing by giving a memorabilia from God’s chosen land and people.

The perfume comes with a small packet that has details about the origin of the perfume as well as biblical significances of it. And this got me really interested because I know God has a reason why I was given this gift. Thus, the research began.

I have found articles about Spikenard and its origin as well as when it was first used, and you can read some of them through the links below:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spikenard

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anointing_of_Jesus

http://www.impish.uwclub.net/spikenard.htm

But I will be sharing some details here in this article, and first among them is the reason for the name Magdalena. Biblical history has it that Mary Magdalene used it to anoint Jesus’ feet when He was eating at one of the Pharisees’ houses. Which will lead us to knowing who Mary Magdalene was in Jesus’ life. It was described that Mary Magdalene was possessed by 7 demons before Jesus cast them all out. And to quote from one of the articles,

“Saved from the terrible power of hell, she gave of her best to Him who had fully emancipated her from demonic possession. When Christ saved her, He liberated the highest virtues of sacrifice, fortitude and courage.”

There were at least 12 times that her name was mentioned in the bible. One of these can be found in Luke 7: 36-50.

Jesus Anointed By A Sinful Woman

One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat.^[a] ³⁷When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. ³⁸Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.

³⁹When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!”

⁴⁰Then Jesus answered his thoughts. “Simon,” he said to the Pharisee, “I have something to say to you.”

“Go ahead, Teacher,” Simon replied.

⁴¹Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people—500 pieces of silver^[b] to one and 50 pieces to the other. ⁴²But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?”

⁴³Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.”

“That’s right,” Jesus said. ⁴⁴Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon,“Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. ⁴⁶You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume.

⁴⁷“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” ⁴⁸Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.”

⁴⁹The men at the table said among themselves, “Who is this man, that he goes around forgiving sins?”

⁵⁰And Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

And you can read more about Mary Magdalene here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Magdalene

http://www.biblestudy.org/question/woman-washing-jesus-feet-and-its-meaning.html

And another interesting find, Spikenard was used by the Catholic church to represent St. Joseph. So there goes my fiance’s name again. 😉

I was just surprised after using it for the first because it reminded me of my maternal grandmother’s favorite perfume. I can tell with utmost sureness it is the same perfume that she uses. Because every time my grandma would drop by our house and pick us up before going to my mother’s Protestant church (my Mom and Dad never went to church with us, btw, but I love them still. *wink*), I could tell that she was already in our house because of the perfume.

The perfume is not musky nor too feminine, flowery, or sweet. It smells like classic perfumes. I don’t recommend putting too much of it, though, as it can be too overpowering. And it wouldn’t mix well either if you are using fabric conditioner or a detergent that already has a strong scent.

Just like God, you need not put anything alongside Him. He deserves to be the One and Only. 🙂

Going back to my grandma, just to give you a brief family background, she was born to a Protestant minister. Our great-grandfather was one of the pioneers of the Protestant church in our town. My grandfather and my grandmother are very active in their faith. It was from my grandma that I got to know about the Our Daily Bread devotion booklet when I was a child. She reads it every time she wakes up.

Little did I realize that I am now doing the same thing out of my passion for seeking Godly wisdom. I am grateful too that it was through my fiancé’s Mom that I got hold of my first ever copy of Our Daily Bread, which I am now reading daily. She gave me a pair of shoes from the Celine store as a Christmas present last year, and Celine gives away copies of Our Daily Bread during the holidays. There is no such thing as coincidence with God, is there? 😉

I really believe that it was one of my grandma’s prayers for us, the future generations, to come before God and worship Him as they did in the times to come. I know of no other person who prays as passionately as my grandma. The moment she utters the first word in her prayer, tears start to stream down her face. And that went on the moment I was a bit old to understand what was happening around me, until now, when she is 90 years old. Yes, she will be celebrating her 91st birthday this September 5, and my Mom on September 7.

And I can only be grateful to God for carrying her all throughout these years, despite the sacrifices of growing up during the Japanese occupation, losing two of her brothers who were enlisted in the military during the war, and not receiving any news regarding their whereabouts afterwards. I cannot tell what kind of emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual turmoil my grandma and her sister went through at that time, worrying every day if their brothers were killed in the war, taken as prisoners of war, tortured, and an endless wave of “what ifs.”

Now I understand why her prayers are so heartfelt. I know because that is how I pray too now – I cannot finish uttering my prayer and just find myself in tears – a combination of hope, gratitude, and humility amidst failures, setbacks, disappointments, successes, victories, and triumphs. But for the greater part of the prayer, I know it was just the overwhelming and amazing fact that our God is the most wonderful thing in this world. She became the “Great Matriarch” of the clan when my grandpa passed away 13 years ago.

My grandpa was a historian, not by profession, for he was a farmer, but out of his hobby of being a wide reader. I could remember that during Sunday school, I would always witness how my grandpa would participate actively in discussions about biblical ideologies. And he delivers it with such vigor, straightforwardness, and passion that I honestly can say, other than being a farmer, he’d be good enough to be a courtroom lawyer. That is, a lawyer of faith, God‘s defender. 😉

When I go back to my hometown this holiday season, I just can’t wait to ask my grandma where she got her perfume. And if she is not using one anymore, I’d be glad to give mine to her as a birthday present. I know she will love it. I only used it once because I intend to preserve it.

And I will tell her this:

“Mama, your prayers were never unanswered. They may not be for the time being, but they will be in His time. For some, God has answered them already.”

P.S.

I intentionally included the price tag in this photo if ever you are interested to go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem and take home a Spikenard Magdalena as a memorabilia, you have an idea how much it costs. 🙂

Love Is BLOG: Pag-unawa sa Pag-ibig

Posted on August 1, 2015 by Christine Lailani

Sinakto ko talaga na gawin ang sulating ito sa unang araw ng buwan ng Agosto. Isa ito sa aking kontribusyon sa paggunita ng Buwan ng Wika. At ito ay patungkol sa isang akda ng isang kapwa Pilipino.

Paano ko nga ba nabasa ito? Sabihin nating dumaan ako sa isang masalimuot na kaganapan sa aking buhay pag-ibig. Naghanap ng pagpapaliwanag sa aking pinagdadaanan hanggang sa may isang brother in Christ na bukas loob na nagbigay ng kanyang payo patungkol sa usaping pag-ibig. Tawagin natin sya sa pangalang Doctor Eamer, dahil layon nyang tumulong sa “paggamot'” ng mga pusong nasugatan. 🙂

Preskripsyon ni Doctor Eamer.

Single ka ba? In a relationship? Married? Nasaktan sa pag-ibig? Masaya sa pag-ibig? Ano pa man ang status mo ngayon sa pakikipag-relasyon, minsan ba e tinatanong mo ang iyong sarili kung paano ba ang magmahal? (Hindi ito ang pelikulang The Breakup Playlist. Pero maganda rin iyon.)

Kung ang sagot mo ay oo, ang akda sa panulat ni Doctor Eamer na pinamagatang Love Is BLOG ay naaayon para sa’yo at nararapat lang na basahin mo ang kabuuan ng sulating ito. 🙂

Love is Blog by Doctor Eamer

Ano ba ang Love is BLOG?

Kung ikaw ay nakabisita na sa blog ni Doctor Eamer, marahil may ideya ka na kung ano ang nilalaman ng libro. Pero kung hindi pa at hindi nyo rin kilala si Doctor Eamer, bigyan ko na kayo ng kaunting detalye.

Si Doctor Eamer na may akda ng Love is BLOG ay isang binatang may layon na tumulong para maunawaan natin ang kahulugan ng salitang ito – pag-ibig.

Isa syang graduate student ngayon ng UP Los Baños. Oo, sya ay may angking talino. Kaya ‘wag kang magtataka kung malaman mong nakapagtapos sya bilang cum laude sa UP Los Baños din sa kursong BS Chemical Engineering. Ngunit kapag nakilala mo sya sa pamamagitan ng kanyang mga lathalain, mas hahanga ka sa kanyang katapatan sa paglalahad ng kanyang mga saloobin sa usaping pag-ibig na sadya namang nagpapatunay na hindi lang sya may angking talino kundi may puso ding nagnanais na makatulong sa kapwa sa pamamagitan ng kanyang ask.fm.

Ngayon panigurado gusto nyo ng bisitahin ang kanyang blog, pero antay lang muna tayo ng konti dahil dadako na tayo sa kanyang librong Love is BLOG.

Oo, ito ay patungkol sa pag-ibig. Pero hindi lang ito isang ordinaryong kwento ng pag-ibig. Dahil ang kahulugan ng pag-ibig sa akda nyang ito ay hindi yaong pag-ibig na madalas nating nababasa o naririnig. Kung kaya naman ganun na lamang kalapad ng aking mga ngiti simula isang tenga hanggang sa kabila labas pati gilagid nang matapos kong basahin ang kanyang aklat.

Hindi lamang tuwa at saya ang dala ng pagbabasa ng kanyang libro, nariyan na’t napapaisip ka, napapatango, napapatanong sa sarili pero kadalasan naliliwanagan. “Oo nga noh,” ‘yun ang alam kong kadalasan mong masasambit habang binabasa ang kanyang libro.

Ang Love is BLOG ay ang unang librong naisulat ni Doctor Eamer na naging produkto ng mga nauna nyang artikulong ipinaskil sa kanyang blog. Isa itong obra maestra na masasabi kong kapana-panabik basahin. Oo, natapos ko sya sa isang upuan lang dahil andun yung pagaasam mo na malaman ang mga susunod na pangyayari at malaman ang kabuuan ng kwento.

Pero kung may isang bagay lang akong labis na nagustuhan sa kanyang libro, ‘yun ay ang pagiging totoo nito. Totoo sa paraang minsan nakikita ko ang sarili ko doon sa mga kwento nya, nakakasabay ako sa agos ng kwento. Sa ibang salita, hindi malayo ang istorya sa mga pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan ng bawat isa sa atin.

Ooopps, mukhang napapahaba na ito ah. Baka makwento ko na dito ang kwento nya. Ahaha

So paano ‘yan mga kaibigan kong mambabasa, hanggang dito na lang muna at kailangan ko na kayong ilipat sa orihinal na kwentong pag-ibig, ang Love is BLOG. Interesado kang malaman paano makabili ng libro? Kontakin lamang si Doctor Eamer sa email address nya (iamdoctoreamer@gmail.com) o bisitahin ang kanyang blog: https://iamdoctoreamer.wordpress.com/.

Hindi natin alam, baka dahil sa librong ito, mabago din ang buhay mo. Pero panigurado ako, lahat ng katanungan mo sa pag-ibig, mahahanap mo ang kasagutan dito. 😉

At sana makatulong itong bible verse para sa puso nyo mga kapatid:

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

Love is God, God is love. 🙂

Leaving and Cleaving in A Marriage

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Christine Lailani

Photo credit: hayatimagazine.com

Yes, marriage is one of the greatest fundamentals in our society. Without it, a lot of things will not be made possible – a healthy and loving home, propagation of future descendants who will become future leaders, thinkers, world changers and responsible citizens of the society, among a whole lot of other relevant things.

That is why this word “marriage” is really not just about papers and agreements, romance and “I love yous” – it is more than that.

Since I am in this season of God preparing me for marriage, I would like to share an article written by singer/song writer Richard Poon and wife actress Maricar Reyes-Poon which my fiance and I also learned in our Marriage Preparation Seminar in church.

“Leave and Cleave 1: Why Living Beside Your Parents Is Bad For Your Wife”

Learning the theories is a must, application is the biggest challenge. Thus, prayer to God is your best tool. 🙂

The “Promise” Rings

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Christine Lailani

(Disclaimer: This is a very long post but definitely worth the read.) 🙂

I believe many are already familiar what promise rings are. But in case some of you still are unfamiliar with it, this is a definition I got from Wikipedia:

“A Promise ring symbolizes a commitment to a promise and is given to a person as a token or reminder of his/her decision…”

But I guess what we could highlight in this definition is this: commitment to a promise.

But before I get on to that, do allow me to share just a quick update regarding my current status. If you have been one of my avid readers, you would know by now that my fiance and I decided to take a two-week “cool off” period wherein we were back to being single and strangers? Definitely not. For God was faithful enough to have kept our communication going and again, not let our hearts be hardened by the negative circumstances that we went through.

We haven’t had the time to personally talk things out and just prayed to God to guide us through the week so we could re-align our plans and our thoughts with His. I shared in my previous articles that during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, I asked God for assurances if the decisions and the commitments I have made were indeed according to His will.

It was hard to let go of a person you love so much, but when God asks you to, you have no choice but to obey just like what Abraham did when he was ready to sacrifice his son’s (Isaac) life. You don’t know in that moment of decision-making why God asked you to. But if you are to ask me if indeed it was what God wanted, I can answer with “yes” for the decision came during our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.

And yet during those 3 days of Prayer and Fasting, I also asked God if I should let him go completely or was it something temporary, a “breather” so that the two of us could see His beautiful promise and not drown ourselves in the multitude of conflicts we are having – sort of a reminder where our relationship should be going and how we should be loving each other, God’s way.

Came the sign which I shared in my More Revelations (Part 2) article about my fiance’s name. All I had at that time were prayers and my faith and all that ever mattered to me was conversing with my God and nothing else. Yet, I have put my trust and hopes in God and God alone.

Two weeks passed.

In those two weeks, I was more in tune to the Spirit’s leading. Revelations upon revelations, tangible assurances, more Godly wisdom, more of God’s wonders working anywhere and anytime, everything was all about God. I was able to experience freedom by the end of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, answers were given, Godly wisdom on generational curses, learning about what was plaguing me for the past years without me realizing it, until eventually this word popped out – fear.

Fast forward to last weekend, my fiance asked me for a chance to talk things out personally. I always declined saying we should wait upon God for His right time. I thought about seeking counsel from my first spiritual mentor, my brother, and this was his advice:

Brotherly advice from a brother in Christ and my brother for real. 😉

I listened to my brother and continued praying until came the time when my fiance asked me again if he could see me last Saturday, to which I said “yes.” We were able to talk some matters over the phone the past days but I know there are still more that were left unsaid, more that need to be said and more that are better said in person.

An out-pour of prayers came, we met and then came the moment of that big question: “Are you really ready in your heart for this commitment, this big commitment which is marriage?”

Both our answers were a “yes.” The agreement was then mutual. Apologies were said and accepted, love overruled. So there we were continuing on from where we ended. When I made this re-commitment, I felt that I was making a pledge that indeed, no matter what happens, like what my brother said, there’s no more backing out. Fight for faith, continue hoping and most especially fight for love.

I have always believed that God planned everything, and I mean everything from the smallest details and the mundane to the biggest and the marvelous. This includes dates and numbers.

For the date, I thought there must be something to the date when I felt I was ready to talk with my fiance or should I say, it was already God’s perfect time. I am aware that the enemy is also working full time to destroy what God’s plans are. And of course, we all know that the holy matrimony is one of God’s best creations. For in a holy marriage and through marriages future disciples and spiritual leaders are born. But I know for sure as well that God won’t allow a marriage to fall apart if He allowed the union to be part of His even greater plans.

So why Saturday, July 12, 2015?

Okay, I remembered. I was just this total amnesia girl that I forgot it was the day before our 18th monthsary as a couple. 😀

“Praise be to God” was all I could blurt out. What a beautiful way to reconcile. Indeed, there is always something to celebrate after God gave us some time away from our troubles so we could appreciate the beauty that God has created in our relationship. The first week that we had our “break time,” his engagement proposal happened. Yesterday was our 18th monthsary, July 12 – what an awesome, wonderful way to celebrate it. I need not ask for any gift or special way to celebrate it, except I could only offer in return a heart full of gratitude to my Father up above who wished for nothing else but a better life for His sons and daughters.

So the day ended with a smile. I slept with a peaceful heart.

Early Sunday morning, July 12, our monthsary day, I suddenly woke up. I felt the need to urinate. So down I went, drank a glass of water and headed upstairs. When I got back to bed, I was so wide awake as if I haven’t slept at all. I checked the clock, it’s 3:03am. Wow, that is the same time for the past months that I wake up every now and then and could not sleep for no apparent reason at all. The very recent prior to this was the night before I broke up with my fiance and thought I heard someone calling my name. It was during that moment that I contemplated and decided to let him go.

But this time it was different. Here I was in bed staring at the ceiling with a smile on my lips reminiscing the events that happened the day before. Yes, I thought maybe because I just cannot contain my happiness that my fiance and I were back together. Then a phrase just popped up in my head all of a sudden – “real love drives out fear.”

Okay, now where did that come from? It was not even connected to my current thought – recalling yesterday’s events. And the phrase sounded right but not really right to me. But I was sure I have heard or read it somewhere, somehow. So what I did, I grabbed my phone, turned my WiFi on and searched ever reliable Google with the phrase/sentence. And the search results centered on only one thought – a bible verse which says:

1 John 4:18 ESV

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

Okay, so that explained why it popped up – I definitely have read this before but my synapses could not just particularly locate that memory bank where I stored it. But thank God for technology, I can easily locate those lost memories by giving me something to remember them through more additional information and clues.

And I smiled even more when upon seeing the search results, the top 3 sources that came up were from the ministries that I highly look up to as a Christian: Joyce Meyer, Rick Warren and Desiring God. I don’t believe in coincidences and I believe God has a reason for waking me up at this hour. So I started reading all 3 articles by said authors and I found 3 words common in all 3 articles: perfect love, God’s love and fear.

Allow me to share some of the screenshots I took for documentation purposes and do take note of the time. For I will be sharing more revelations in the succeeding paragraphs.

Joyce Meyer

Rick Warren

Desiring God

But going back to the bible verse, I was having my dose of Godly wisdom when a question popped in my head again: “why does it have to be “real love”? Usually, for the bible verses, most of the time I get the phrases correct especially if they are the usual bible verses that I have been encountering during devotion time. 1 John 4:18 was not an exemption for I have read it quite a couple of times already. And yet what was with the phrase “real love?” Where did it come from? I am sure I have encountered it somewhere too, something that has quite that significance to me for me to be able to somehow store it in my long term memory but could not point out exactly where.

Then came the “Eureka!” moment and I almost laughed aloud. For this was where I have seen it and now I know why it was retained because it is that significant. The following is a photo of the “dummy” rings that my fiance and I bought a couple months back as during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church, we were advised to use “dummy” rings in the actual wedding ceremony as the real thing might be misplaced and eventually lose them because of all the preparations and the hectic activities lined up for the said event. It was the first thing that we bought and we really don’t know why back then. 😀

I was actually the one who suggested we buy the rings when I browsed online for wedding rings. And I know it was not a coincidence that I felt the urge though I do not know why. But I acted upon it and I believe it was not also a coincidence when came the time that my fiance and I were choosing what ring design would best fit us and this particular design came into our hands. My first choice was a glittery ring but when my fiance tried it, his feminine, slim hands, looked REALLY feminine. So, it was a no-no for us.

The second choice was a plain silver band but then again there’s no available size for my fiance. Then this was the point that the shop owner suggested another pair. I didn’t like it at first. Because I wanted the rings to just have a clean and simple finish since it’s just going to be a “dummy” ring. I mean, it wouldn’t really matter for what matters would be our actual wedding rings. But then again, this pair was the only pair wherein the wedding ring for the groom fitted my fiance’s ring finger just right. And one more thing, I don’t like rings with inscriptions at the outer side of the ring. Well, let’s say I am still a bit old fashioned when it comes to these things. 😀

But in the end, I conceded that we buy this design with an inscription engraved at the outer side of the ring and an engraving of one half of a heart for each ring between the inscription. If you combine the rings, it’ll form into the shape of a heart.

“Real Love”

The rings weren’t significant to me for they are just “dummies.” BUT I was wrong – totally wrong. For now, I felt like they are the most important rings we will ever wear. Why?

Going back to the “real love” phrase, I was just amazed when I remembered that this was the inscription engraved on the “dummy” rings. And what was even more amazing was that the revelation with the verse and my interchanging “perfect love” with “real love” was God’s way of reminding me of His promise to me and Brian – marriage. He wanted me to realize that this is real/perfect love – it drives out fear.

Fear.

Now it dawned on me. This was not about fears in my past, fears in my childhood days but fears that I was unaware I have been bringing in the relationship with my fiance. It was out of fear that we had the conflicts. It was out of fear of the punishments from the past mistakes. It was out of fear of so many things that eventually came to me fearing the worst that could happen in our relationship. It was fear that ruled the relationship.

And this was a portion of the article that made me see the clarity of it all:

God pulled us out of the relationship to protect us from our own fears and gave us hope instead. God wanted to teach us that that was not how He intended our relationship to be. Because fear did not come from Him. Reading the articles further just brought me once again in that state of utmost humility – being humbled by God’s presence through the revelations.

God’s presence.

This made me think about once again the idea of me waking up at around 3am and why the number 3 proved to be very significant to me like the day of my salvation which was 3/3/13 (which I shared in my previous articles) and was always included in His bigger revelations. Was it God? Did it come from an angel? I was still baffled and yet I know there’s an explanation somehow behind it. So I typed at Google search once again and checked out if there is somehow a biblical significance with the number 3 and the time. The following were the search results that turned up:

The 3 is always there – even my bookmarks came down to 3.

The Prophetic News

The Prophetic News

The Prophetic News

There really is something about names. Mine is Christine. 🙂

Spirit Daily

Spirit Daily

This was another big revelation. Although the moment I read that 3am is also the time where Satan is at work, came the terrifying fear that I might be possessed by a demon or vulnerable of being possessed. Because I admit I do experience some waking up moments at around 3am feeling a heavy feeling in my heart. But for the recent events, they were mostly uplifting and enlightening.

BUT I think my God went before me, for He knows I will seek for answers and He already assured me through the bible verse I have mentioned above. As the article mentioned, the Spirit commanded him to stand on His Word. Fear does not come from God. So most likely, Satan was also trying to butt in. But sorry, not sorry that I am already protected by my loving God. 🙂

I just felt the need to browse a little more and stumbled across a forum regarding the biblical significance of 3am. And one comment just struck me the most:

Yes, I believe it was and is all for a greater calling. A calling that involves a greater harvest. A calling that calls for a preparation towards a significant event. Our God is calling out.

And I believe in my church, our spiritual leaders have already prophesied this. For yesterday’s prayer, led by a sister in Christ who is also a spiritual leader, was all about fear. I really don’t believe in coincidence. 😉

So with that I rest my case, and I am just smiling even more as I type this. For it was one of my prayers to God to give me a bible verse during my wedding that is not the usual bible verse I encounter during Christian weddings such as:

1 John 4:19 ESV

“We love because He first loved us.”

So He gave me a different verse instead – a verse that will have a personal significance and impact not just to me, but a verse that will seal the commitment of what “real love” should be for both me and my fiance along with a symbol of that commitment – the “promise” rings.

It was not just a promise/reminder/covenant between me and my fiance to commit to each other until death do us part but most importantly, it symbolizes God’s beautiful promise for us both – God’s advance wedding gift to us. And this reminds me of The God Triangle:

Photo credit: thewerners.org

Now this is perfect/real love: love is God and God is love. So yes, basically, I just can’t help but thank my God every single day for literally E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. ❤

P.S.

My chosen bible verse for the wedding was not because I chose it but God chose it for me and it was the verse that came just before 1 John 4:19. So I believe it still is in the context of bible verses perfect for Christian weddings. 😉

Here’s a video about God restoring what was lost if we seek Him FIRST.

And here’s a text from him tonight, nothing can ever make me smile the sweetest except when I see the word “pray.” 😀

Our God is indeed a God who restores and redeems. 🙂

For The Love of Social Media and Technology

Posted on July 9, 2015 by Christine Lailani

I praise God that everything is easily accessible via technology and over the internet. Personally, it is a big help for me to have an e-diary where I can store my thoughts and not worry of them getting lost if ever my laptop bugs down. Thoughts in my head go as fast as they come. My family would even tell me I suffer from short term amnesia in some cases. *seriously*

I believe in photography we can see such a big leap when it comes to advancements from films to dark rooms to now instant everything. Like this photo I have taken and edited using different apps in my android phone:

Original photo of Flicka my guitar.

Edited photo to b & w using vsco cam app.

Edited the photo via Instagram.

But my phone comes really handy every time I am in the middle of doing something and that action spurred an idea, a question or a thought in mind which is always related to my faith. I stop in the middle of my task, open my phone and type the words down before my mind goes blank after a couple of seconds. Sometimes thoughts pour in in bulk connecting one thought with the other and bible verses start popping up too – yes, my head will be a chaos if I don’t have a phone to help me sort those thoughts out.

But I see one problem with it – technology is an arena wherein the battle of the good and evil is being showcased. Evil means porn, scam, hate posts, prostitution, violence, fraud, etc. Good means informative, advancements, convenience, accessibility, etc.

If I am right, every modern innovation gives way to something new and yet it also gives way to foster something bad. There are so many things we could learn from the internet and modern technology paves way to those discoveries. But it also requires us this kind of discipline – knowing which ones are beneficial to us and which ones are harmful. I have been lingering so much on social media sites nowadays and discovered that sharing enhances creativity and learning – you learn new ideas from what other people share by introducing yourself to a whole lot of different perspectives. Given that, we now have these questions which, I am sure, all of us are asking:

1. Is it possible to introduce something new with the possibility of maintaining its good objective and only that?

2. The negative effects are getting rampant – is there a way to stop it?

3. If a total shutdown of the world wide web affecting thousands of technologies associated with it happened just like in the movie Transcendence, how will things end up?

4. Can man function well without all the modernization now?

5. Which is better – the modern times or the primitive days?

And having these questions in mind, verses from Ecclesiastes 3 came gushing in – there is a time for everything. It has always been like this here in this world even in the earlier times in the bible – always a battle of good and evil.

For I believe it is in this arena that God trains His people to be able to join His ranks. Now which side are you on – God’s army or the enemy’s?

I choose LIFE not in this world but in eternity that is why I am more than willing to be trained as His warrior. 🙂

A Recollection

Posted on July 7, 2015 by Christine Lailani

Now I understand. 🙂

I could still remember the week prior to his engagement proposal.

Everything around us was chaos, conflict upon conflict, sin upon sin, piling up higher and higher. Then came the snapping point – our mediator, God, stood between us. He called for a time out before things get really rough and things get worse.

5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke our routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days it was all just God and me, God and him.

I thought of it as being in a detention room, only me and God and He was clearing the issues out personally, one by one – a reprimand, a rebuke, a renewal.

And yet God showed mercy by keeping His promise – an open communication between me and him. We obeyed His instructions, we valued what would honor Him. We met after a week and it was love all over.

The engagement proposal happened.

Things were doing well. Then planning came here and there. Preparations are everywhere, aligning of priorities were highlighted. Emotions started to build up, conflicts came again, sins erupted yet again, higher and higher once again.

Then came the saturation point – God once again stood at the middle as the mediator. God is again calling for a time out before things get worse, before ruining completely anything beautiful in the relationship.

5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke the routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days there was just me and God, him and God.

Once again, God has showed His mercy by keeping His promise – the communication was there, no one burned bridges.

On the night of the 5th day which was last Sunday, I reached out to him regarding a pressing concern in our business venture that I know he can only relate. He called, I answered. It was love all over again.

He wanted to see me but I can only suggest that we pray to God regarding that.

He said, “I love you so much…You do know how much I love you…”

I said, “Yes, I do love you so much too. But let’s take things one at a time for now – we need not rush anything. We need to trust God and put Him at the center. First.”

Now I understand. 🙂

God is faithful in His promises. The reason why He gives us a time out is because when conflicts seem to cloud almost the entire relationship and we become absorbed with the problems right in front of us, He would pull us out of the situation, away from further harm, so we could see the bigger picture.

He wanted us to see the good in the relationship even when things get really tough – by realigning our thoughts with His. He wanted to make things right and it can only happen when we surrender everything to His will. When things happen prematurely, God knows there will be pitfalls and storms and yet by His love and mercy, He gives the grace for us to bear it all and come out intact and whole.

My ex fiance once told me, “You cannot judge me and my faith because faith is a personal relationship with God – it is only between me and Him.”

Silence.

He was right.

For now I see that yes, God sees the intentions and conditions of our hearts and it is because of that that’s why He didn’t allow our circumstances to harden our hearts and protected us from destroying one another because of pride, bitterness and anger. He made us see the power of prayer, forgiveness and most especially, love. He allowed us to communicate still.

God kept His promise, the ongoing communication was our hope. It is now in our choice if we will claim that promise.

And yet I believe God does not just intend a week this time for us to master that peace, have complete healing and set things right through a Godly perspective. He will restore things when the perfect time has come and when we are both ready. Something that can only be achieved by trusting in Him completely day by day. 🙂

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7 NLT

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The Journeyman's Moments

The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.

Tag Archives: love

How It Feels To Be A Rome

On Civil Weddings and Believers

What’s In A Name and A Number

We Just Don’t Know

The Holy Perfume: Spikenard Magdalena

Love Is BLOG: Pag-unawa sa Pag-ibig

Leaving and Cleaving in A Marriage

The “Promise” Rings

A Recollection

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