Sentimental: Who Am I?

Posted on September 28, 2016 by Christine Lailani

I am down with my usual migraine attack (on its 5th day now), but this time accompanied by a high fever and eczema too. Whew! It’s kind of difficult to manage everything when every illness you have bolted in altogether. Though I took medicines yesterday, my husband (a nurse) and the doctor at the university infirmary advised me to take 3-5 days of bed rest for my follow-up check-up on Monday, and limit physical activity. While in bed, I thought about writing something.

Speaking of my husband, though, I appreciate him for his nonchalance. That is one thing I wanted to learn from him – how to maintain a worry-free attitude despite the disarray or when things have gone awry. I am, on the other hand, the exact opposite – I worry about everything! 😀 But through time, I have learned to control my worries, and I’ll share how in the succeeding paragraphs.

Dealing With Life’s Atrocities

I know there came in your life wherein you have never felt good enough – as a spouse, as a child, as a parent, as a student, as an employee, as a friend, as a relative, and ultimately as a person.

As a Christian teacher, I have learned that it is even more important to speak life than to criticize students. We might never know; we are already crushing the dreams of a young spirit because of the negativity. Though trials produce resiliency, positive reinforcement is still best. The world is already complicated enough, mainly because we, humans, made it that way.

Every person is different. It’s the same as how every seed grows to be a different plant. Every plant has its own tender and loving care requirements. Yet all plants need sunshine; they all need light.

The Breaking And The Making

When I was a grade school student, I had my first taste of disappointment when I didn’t win as president of the student council, and I was reprimanded during the campaign period along with the rest of my running mates. The offense? We were late in Math class for just a few minutes, and we weren’t allowed to enter the classroom. I took it as my responsibility to take the blame, being the running President, and seeing your peers crying out of shame was enough to break your heart to pieces.

When I was in high school, I had another major disappointment when I only graduated as “special mention” in class after consistently being on the top 3 honors list from 1st year until 3rd year, but failed to meet the criteria for the extracurricular activities, which comprised a huge percentage of the final grades. One of my high school best friends suffered the same fate. We were advised by our parents to never receive the award during the graduation ceremony, though our names were called because they said that we do not deserve it, but we were present during said ceremony.

When I was in college, I wasn’t able to finish my thesis on time because the adviser from our concentration was on sabbatical leave. We were assigned instead to another adviser from another concentration. After submitting my first draft, I got it back only to see red marks written everywhere, and the one thing that was retained in me was this comment: “How did you reach this far if you don’t know how to make a research paper? This is not the work of a UP student!”

I thought, maybe I should also ask my former professors why they passed me in all my other subjects if I am undeserving to be in UP. 😀 Little did I know that there were several of us who got the same remarks. Yep, in our university, you’ll encounter all sorts of professors, but when it comes to critical feedback, I understood it all as part of doing their jobs as teachers.

Then I worked, a dream job it was. But disappointment once again came. The mission and vision of the workplace weren’t met because one of the figures of authority behaved otherwise. I was the recipient of that very unprofessional behavior, and many have seen it. It happened a couple of times, too. I stayed and chose to keep quiet. But after praying about it, I had to let the job go.

God’s Path Towards Salvation

So these were all hang-ups of the past, which I am sure most of us have experienced one way or the other. Others may have gone through even worse than all these, and if given the chance, they are very much entitled to unleash their grievances as much as they want. But unfortunately, as much as we would like to shake them off, they are already embedded in who we are.

All those years, I have struggled with the need to impress, to seriously meet expectations, to be perfect, to excel always, and to prove myself to people. I suffered from anger and resentment boiling in me, and the need to take revenge and retaliate was so strong. I blamed life for bringing me people who did nothing but criticize me for my weaknesses, and only that, and went beyond in criticizing who I am personally, without even the slightest hint of who I really am and what I can do. This resentment and anger included some issues in other areas of my life, too, which I will not share due to their sensitivity. I really thought I was the unluckiest person alive back then.

For 27 years, I have battled with insecurity, the by-product of low self-esteem, poor self-image, and self-worth – the mentality that “I am never good enough.” Failures, wrong decisions, and disappointments became the stronghold that corrupted my entire being until it led me to a major depression – the breaking point, as they say.

Depression robs you of the beauty of life. It makes life look bleak, bland, and distorted. It affects your every decision, and it just kills life itself. Before I was born again in 2013, I committed suicide twice – both were failed attempts.

No, I do not easily give up. I did arrive at that breaking point on the verge of quitting everything, but I still fought hard against it.

I had two options: let the darkness corrupt me and become those people who plagued others or themselves with it OR choose to search for the light, the hope.

Knowing The Savior

The opportunity came for the latter – I was given HOPE.

The greatest moment of my life was when I was born again through my faith. Why? It’s because when I found out who I was in Christ, that was the greatest and the best thing that I have heard about myself for 27 years.

It was on that day when I surrendered myself to Christ that ALL chains got loose – I was set FREE.

The moment has already come for me to look at things from a very different perspective – a total paradigm shift. It wasn’t everything I hoped for, BUT it’s exactly what I NEEDED which no one else could give me except God.

This HOPE taught me even more than what I have learned in the academe or even from life itself. It taught me how to patiently wait for the right opportunities and how to patiently endure every setback. It taught me that there is a time for everything. It taught me to decline job offers and business opportunities that could’ve made me rich in wealth and possessions. It taught me to pass up on chances of earning titles that would’ve given me some sort of self-entitlement and self-fulfillment. It taught me to weigh options, sacrifice if I must. All of these, if they will, in the end, forfeit my soul.

It taught me to choose God’s will over mine. It taught me to rely on God’s plans rather than rely on my own understanding of the circumstances around me. It taught me to relinquish control and allow God to take over. It taught me that GRACE is a gift freely given, even if undeserving. It taught me how to love others even when they do not deserve it. It taught me to find joy, peace, and contentment even when darkness, chaos, and bitterness are all around. It taught me how to let go of the past and forgive.

It taught me what true humility is all about. It taught me to be grateful always. It taught me that simplicity matters most in life. It taught me to look outwardly and consider what others are going through as well. It taught me that if there is a void that the atrocities of life have caused in me, either by wrong choices or by fate, no one and nothing else can fill it up except God.

I found this hope in Christ alone, and I find strength in the Word every day, which is my guide in this life – not any textbook, novel, or company brochure.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” – Hebrews 11:1

Faith Anchored To Our Souls

Faith did not make my life free from criticism, condemnation, trials, and suffering. Yet it gave me a way to view life beyond that – salvation in eternity.

I still find myself in situations I have stated in the first part of this article. But this time, I have learned to see these instances from a different standpoint. I have learned to understand first where some people are coming from and why they are that way. I have learned to understand that maybe they are still in the darkness, too, driven perhaps by the need to compete, to be the best, and to meet expectations, dealing with their own insecurities and personal struggles, too. Or they have this false motive to instill in those who are next in line exactly what they went through, because in this “dog-eat-dog” world, repaying evil with evil is normal. Only God knows everything. What I observed, though, is that when people prick each other to bleed, it’s better to choose to be the rose among the thorns – the salt and light. 🙂

There are times the past comes all rushing back; it haunts. Another disappointment will ruffle your feathers. The need to lash out and punish calls. But I choose LIFE. I will speak LIFE.

Because Christ has given me LIFE. He, alone, gave me LIGHT. It is my duty as His follower to use that light so others can walk in and with Him, too, despite the darkness around them.

Ah, yes. Them.

One day, they will be brought out in the light, too. They will break standards, cultural traditions, and not conform to this world wherever they may be and whatever they may be doing. They will choose to fight for faith and spread light when hope seems dim. That was the reason I was smiling because I was praying for them silently, and I am claiming it all in the Mighty Name of Jesus, who made it possible for me, too. 🙂

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

P.S.

It’s been 3 years now since I got saved, and when things don’t go the way I’ve expected them to be, I have this bookmark to remind me of who I am. I thank the sister in Christ who gave this when she facilitated a talk during my baptism of the Holy Spirit. I have carried it with me since then. The last verse listed is my life verse. 🙂

Oh, and yes, one new thing I have learned too from our couples’ bible study Vgroup 2 Sundays ago (thanks Tito Tony and Tita Len for the wisdom) – the boiling water concept. If you put eggs in boiling water, they become hard. But if you put the potato in it, it becomes soft. I choose to be a potato – a couch potato. Kidding. *wink*

Seriously, it only means that when life and circumstances knock you down, don’t bear any grudge and don’t be hard on yourself and on others. Instead, let it soften you, let it refine you, and let it make you better. Be a better potato, I mean, a better man/woman. 😉

Last but not least, reach out to God, and then God will send His people (spiritual family) to help usher you out of the ordeal. I am praying for your struggles, too, my dear reader and brother/sister in Christ. If you also need to share a tough ordeal and are in need of a prayer intercession, you may always pop me an email. ❤

1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: The Celebration

Posted on September 3, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Hola, my dear beloved readers! 🙂

I’d like to start this very LONG article with a note of gratitude to God for making things possible from provisions, clear weather, safe travel everywhere and everything else in between. I’d like to thank my dear husband as well for every small and great thing he did for us. I do not intend though to share every wedding anniversary celebration that hubby and I have as there are some moments that make it to social media and there are those which do not. But I thought I’d give credit to our first year wedding anniversary considering that the first year for newlywed couples is the hardest when it comes to adjustment and settling of differences.

Thus, this article will be a testimony on how the grace of God manifested in our first year as a married couple but most especially how God made our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration extra special.

As it is written,

Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD.” – 1 Corinthians 1:31

Amazing it is when a couple makes a really big and extra effort in putting God at the center of their marriage even though circumstances and schedules permit otherwise. If you are to ask me what are they, I’d give a few instances. One would be temptations. Numerous situations will tempt you and your hubby to behave in a manner that is not right with God. This does not just pertain to temptations of the flesh like lust but other temptations like fits of rage, harsh words, doubts, impatience and a whole lot more.

Another would be priorities. I believe most of us are guilty of this: prioritizing those that shouldn’t be. One example was when hubby and I were so engrossed watching movies or checking out social media stuff and then when it was time to hit the hay, we’re both too sleepy to pray. Or that moment when we’re supposed to go to church but we kind of miscalculated our schedules, we ended up doing household chores first.

For us, these were mistakes and/or realizations on how to put God at the center. Going to church is not enough. In fact, we learned that putting God at the center of our lives meant every single thing that we do whether at home, or in work or in school whether we are with each other or with other people, God should always be included. It has to be Him whom we should think about first and consider whether it would be pleasing and honorable to God or whether it is in accordance to God’s will.

I have shared in my first article regarding our 1st year wedding anniversary (1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister and Missus) the nitty gritty details of our lives as a husband and a wife. But in this article, it’ll be more of the “greater learning” that Brian and I have gathered in the 1st year of our experiences together. I haven’t mentioned yet the really not-so-good-stuff that he and I went through although I thought I’ll just give an overview on how most of them went – never good, always bad and sometimes worst.

The worst so far is something that you could think of as unbearable. Not just for us but for those who loved us too which made them intervene so it wouldn’t turn out to be THE worst. I am referring to our parents and our families. They are our mentors in this season. They’ve been there with us since the first day that Brian and I got married.

I couldn’t imagine my life as a wife and we wouldn’t be where we are now after multiple attempts of separating if it wasn’t for God sending these mentors and for all the advice, the encouragement and words of wisdom that our families have shared especially on my side. I felt I had to share some of the tough times that Brian and I went through with them to seek for counsel right away lest I become too emotional over matters and I would overlook important and necessary things.

It has always been my belief to seek wisdom in a matter of different perspectives and never one sided only. Relying on one’s own interpretation of situations could lead to a clouded judgment and in decision making, it is crucial that we get to see the bigger picture of what really goes on. Being a woman, my emotions tend to get in the way thus accountability partners are very much well appreciated on my part.

If there’s one prayer that I have for now, it is that God would continue to protect our marriage and continue to prepare me and Brian and provide all that we needed holistically so that we would be ready in any given circumstance when the enemy strikes. We always remind each other during a heated discussion that it is not one another that we are against but the forces of evil in this world.

I can only love and thank God that through our very trying times being married, God answered our call for help. All those desperate and hopeless times felt like there’s no better way to go through them but to quit and yet God never fails, His love never fails – He always remained faithful and true to His promises and His reminders are always there.

Thinking back of those times when we thought we were the cruelest, most selfish of people going through the most challenging situations ever did God teach us all about humility and submission. Forgiveness makes a whole lot of difference most especially if it is accompanied with sincere apologies and sincere actions of change.

Ahhh yes, those days were over. If they do come back, we know how to deal with it. We may not deal with it completely as perfect as how we should deal with it, but I know and I am positive there will be changes. This is God’s way of perfecting our faith in us. There will be more to come, but looking back, all I ever saw was one set of footprints and that is enough assurance that I have such a powerful God who can lift me up in whatever circumstance I am going through.

Now on to the testimony of our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration, I just don’t know how to express my gratitude and my happiness on how the Lord our God moved in behalf of us. AMAZING. Though this is not enough to describe it, that is the only word from my human vocabulary that I could think of to describe what transpired over that weekend.

August 17 was our anniversary date. It fell on a Wednesday. Brian and I planned our celebration the 1st weekend after that date. I was the one who made all the arrangements as Brian was busy at work and I, on the other hand, had an ample time to spare to inquire about this and that. I was also in charge with the budgeting and it is only Brian’s income that we’re relying on so I need to make sure we won’t go over the budget. So there was me searching all kinds of great but budget-friendly options.

The plan: have a dinner cruise in the evening, then an overnight-stay at the hotel. So there were only 2 items in our itinerary. Then came the cancellation of the dinner cruise as yacht was under maintenance so we were given options to choose among the dates they have offered and August 28 was the nearest from our wedding anniversary though it’s already 2 weeks away from the actual date.But I thought it wouldn’t matter anyway as it still falls on our anniversary month. I am not really particular about dates I even forget them, the special ones included. *wink*

So came August 17, and I thought we’re gonna treat it as a regular day since we’re going to celebrate it anyway. But lo and behold, to my surprise, Hubby arrived home from work braving the heavy rains and all the traffic with something in his hand – a bouquet of assorted flowers. Okay, now he and I had an agreement that I will only receive one flower from him in our entire lifetime together and that will be the first and the last as I will be preserving it – a memorabilia on preserving our love together as a couple. This was the rose that he gave me on our first Valentine’s day date back when we were still dating.

When I saw the bouquet of course I smiled my widest, gave him a tight hug and a sweet kiss and then told him that he doesn’t have to. His answer was that he knew I will like them. So I teased him that now I have so many flowers to preserve and I am running out of glass canisters to put them. lol

Well, I guess both of us knew what each of us wanted because I also made him a video which was a compilation of our wacky shots since we first met up to now. I showed it to him that night as well when he gave me the bouquet.

So now came the week before our final schedule for the celebration. That week had a pretty rough weather we were really running out of hopes that we’ll be celebrating the anniversary with a clear weather which means our plans will be ruined or we’ll make do of what we can. I never thought about canceling our plans but Brian wanted to move it to a later date.

Unfortunately we have limited options in doing so so I assured him to have faith, be patient, trust in the Lord and that we’ll continue praying. Come Thursday Brian was having pressing moments at work. I was sure he will really appreciate being able to do some adventurous stuff knowing the sporty person that he is. So I thought about coming up with another item in our itinerary – go to Rizal and have some nature and adventure fun in Daranak Falls. It was so out of the original plan but I checked the budget, we’ll still make it. I suggested the idea and he approved, excitedly approved actually.

I checked out reviews and blogs about the place and we came up with an itinerary. A few hours before we left, heavy rains still poured every now and then that my husband had dampened spirits too. I cheered him up when we woke up in the morning and saw the sun peering out. But hubby still told me it might rain hard for the rest of the day. We’re going to be doing a lot of road traveling and sight seeing and doing it on a rainy weather is a no-no as roads are slippery and we won’t enjoy the view anyway.

I once again comforted him that God has already answered our prayer request for a clear weather which we’ve been praying for how many nights in a row already. I told him that we should never give up along the way as my mentors would always remind me to look at the bigger picture, never on the road block or the problem that’s blocking the road or the view and to continue focusing on the goal and not on the journey. Our goal was to enjoy our wedding anniversary celebration in whatever circumstance.

So we ate an early breakfast and started heading out. Indeed, the Lord was faithful. For the rest of our first day/part 1 celeb, we’ve been given a clear weather. We’ve enjoyed nature at its best on a sunny weather. Just right because the falls were cool. If it was raining that day, we wouldn’t be able to withstand the cold water for long. But since it was a sunny day, hubby and I just had the best time having a hydro massage at the mini falls across the huge one.

Usually the place is flocked every weekend since it is just an hour ride away from the metro. But I guess since nobody expected for the weather to clear up right away on that day, there was only a small crowd (about 10-15 people) who was enjoying the resort with us. You could choose to roam around downstream, the huge falls, the river bed, the two smaller falls and you’ll still get a space for a nice shot without a photobomber. *wink*

The splendor of Mother Nature.

A very beautiful specie of butterfly fluttering around me while trying to take a good shot of her – the first of its kind.

Here goes hubby’s epic jump!

Here’s a short video of our escapade there (do watch it at 480p):

God is good all the time, eh? But wait, that’s just the beginning of our itinerary. Because the 2 events we originally listed became 8. Well, I couldn’t count exactly because it all just happened out of the blue. We’re like going along the flow whichever God would want us to do and want us to have.

So we got to visit the windmills farm, the parola beside the lake (which I thought was a sea growing up in a coastal area), checked out the old historical church nearby and tried some local cuisine for snacks.

Everything went perfectly well even with how we managed the time (and expenses) and no traffic! Ha! Hubby was sure glad to drive with ease the whole time being surrounded with all the greenery. The car we used was Brian and his brother’s as they have another one for the family car. They share in using it but I told Bri to let his brother use it as they already have a baby and commuting with a toddler is tad difficult. Told him we will just borrow when there is a pressing need like this anniv celeb which happens only once a year. So praise God that the car was good to go as well for this event. 😀

When hubby and I got home, we started preparing for the part 2 of our celeb the next day which fell on a Sunday. Of course, Sundays are meant for God so if there is an itinerary, ggoing to church should be the first priority or if not, it should be included. We planned to stay at a hotel around Ortigas area after our dinner cruise so I suggested we attend church nearby or along the way to Manila bay.

Searched the Victory church website and found one at Robinsons Galleria mall. It has always been a habit for me and Brian to find a church nearby if we have activities lined up on Sunday. It was our first time at Victory Ortigas and every Victory church has their own communion schedule if I am not mistaken. We missed having one in our home church at Victory Katipunan for the month of August. But to our surprise, on that Sunday, it was communion day for Victory Ortigas. Yaaaay! Oh, the goodness of the Lord just goes on and on. A blessed Sunday it was as the events lined up on that day was also the “meat” of the celebration.

Early birds at Victory Ortigas.

After church, hubby and I decided to go directly to Manila bay for our dinner cruise. Guess what too, the new yacht assigned to us caters only a small group of people meaning it will give the guests a more exclusive experience. The yacht looked great too. We were supposed to be served a full-course plated meal with iced tea but since the yacht was small, they changed the caterer and the sea was expected to be rough these months too so they served them in bento boxes. But I preferred it this way because I don’t like my food spilling over my plate when the yacht changed courses or worse, spilling them over my dress. That is my worst nightmare during a date. lol BUT the best part which was not included in the package was a complimentary refillable glass of wine being offered to guests. Yaaay again!

Welcome aboard!

Aboard M/Y Selina.

God is so full of surprises, ain’t He? So hubby and I were enjoying our dinner cruise moment and 1 hour was just not enough especially if you’re gonna take photos around the yacht, eat and drink. Or maybe we were having so much fun we totally lost track of the time. *wink*

The view of the bay from the yacht.

So final verdict? We’re definitely going to relive the experience but on a summer night AND when there is a pyromusical event at SM Mall of Asia. Now that gives you an idea how you could spend a romantic date with your special someone too. Let’s share the love, shall we? We say, cheers to that! 🙂

After dinner we went to SM Mall of Asia to catch pokemons. lol But nope, I am no pokemon go player. My husband tried it out of curiosity thus tried to catch some while we’re still in the area and ordered our favorite fraps at Starbucks located along the boulevard. Now it was late already when we got to Richmonde hotel where we will spend the night away.

Entering this classy hotel will make you lost in translation. I was totally loving the hotel’s elegant interiors probably because I like earth tones when it comes to color choices and gold never fails to magnify the sophistication of every item like black. It was actually the color motif of hubby and I for our dinner date – yellow/gold and black.

We went inside our room which was very cozy by the way and it matched the elegance of the hotel’s lobby. Since we were dead tired because of the previous events especially hubby who was diving and swimming his heart out in Daranak falls, we’ve thought about having a massage. We tried the 90-minute Swedish aromatherapy massage at Nuat Thai near the hotel and I found myself giggling, not because of the massage, but the snoring client beside my room. lol

Well, I couldn’t blame him. The massage was so good, so therapeutic and relaxing it’ll really make you doze off. I am not really a massage lover but I appreciated it so much in a way that it made me so calm and relaxed after the session. Hubby said that he, too, fell asleep. Hmmmm, was he the one who snored?! lol 😀

I didn’t know massages can make you go hungry. *wink* So afterwards, we went ahead and had a tapsilog meal at Rufo’s. When we got back to the hotel we were just so drowsy and we understood why, it’s already 1am! Okay, it’s really time for taps.

The next day/part 3 of the celeb we had our sumptuous and delicious buffet breakfast at the hotel’s cafe. We had no photos as we don’t want to break the sophisticated atmosphere with us taking selfies everywhere. We felt like it’s inappropriate especially when expats were eating beside your table. *wink* We then decided to take a swim at the hotel’s heated pool and we couldn’t capture a pretty decent shot lest some of the guests might be irritated if they’d find out their faces were included in the photo without their permission. I happen to have one taken but a lady just made it in time as a photobomber. lol No offense though, it oftentimes happens. *wink*

His signature squint, my signature pout. 😉

By the time we finished our morning dip at the pool we headed back to our room and prepared for the check out. We decided to have the car washed, loaded up and went on our way home sweet home. Then, it began to rain. 😀

Alas, we’re now finally at the comfort of our quaint little home. This home of ours was a little apartment that my siblings and I shared starting when we were all studying in college. When my eldest sister and brother got married, my second sister worked in Norway and my third sister went to our home province to be with our parents, I was left alone. So now my hubby and I are occupying this place.

I always tell my husband that it is such a privilege for us to live in this minimalist and simple home. We had nothing to worry about the stuff that we needed and my siblings and I used to take turns in doing a house makeover every now and then. So many memories are in here thus it is always a reminder for us to take good care of this humble abode. I used to hate cleaning but I love it now especially when I see the aftermath. We do have plans of getting our own house but we’ll have to wait and trust God and His right time with that. 🙂

The events during the weekend went on smoothly and we’re still right on track with our budget. The provisions of God do overflow when you share what you need to give and you have faith that only God is the sole provider of everything. Besides, it’s better to give than to receive anyway. *big smiles there* Everything was planned out perfectly because God planned it that way. I am just extremely thankful for everything. We just have a great God, haven’t we?

I couldn’t imagine how Brian and I managed to celebrate it with so much ease, no worries and no hassle knowing we were relying on his income alone for our expenses; secondly, his schedule at work was difficult to arrange and lastly, the weather didn’t go well a couple of weeks prior to the celeb. It was a combined celebration of simplicity and elegance, adventure and sophistication, nature and man-made – the perfect balance.

It actually doesn’t matter what are the particulars when it comes to celebrating special moments with a loved one. The good and bad memories that you and your spouse build every single day are enough to remind you of the love that you have for each other which is more important than any celebration in every marriage. Love rules, love wins, and love is all that matters. (I think I heard myself singing that. lol)

But the truth of the matter is that a marriage requires this – FAITH. When it comes to faith, I only have these two to think about:

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. – Hebrews 11:1

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. – Hebrews 12:22

Keep the faith ALWAYS too, my dear brothers and sisters! ❤

Much love,

Tin and Bri

1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister & Missus

Posted on August 17, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Yup, that is my hubby and me. 🙂

Will devote this post in adoration to and in honoring my spouse as we celebrate our 1st year wedding anniversary this August 17 – another great milestone. It was a time of great adjustment and testing and yet looking back, I am just grateful to God for everything – the good and the bad. It really does pay off having a great God in our lives. 🙂

When my husband courted me back then, I laid out clearly my sentiments first things first and these were my exact statements:

“I am the type of girl who is more practical than “pa-soshal” (high class/elite), who prefers a simple life than a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle and someone who isn’t enamored by sweep-me-off-the-feet moments but pursues what is not complicated, what is serious and what is sustainable. This applies in all aspects of my life.

But I have one great challenge for you – if you can’t love my God, please choose someone else to love.”

Strong words, eh? Yep, I was actually thinking now that I could have been so harsh at him that time. But I thought I still gave him that chance even if I am positive I did a “judgment thing” back there. I prayed to God to lead me in this area though. 😀

But there were also moments wherein “sweet as honey” is an understatement if I am to describe our quality time together. But do take note that our definitions of “sweet” can be relative but I’ll just describe my own definition anyhow. One of them was when I was eating this Cornetto ice cream and when he looked at me, he started laughing then approached me, gave me a tight hug and started showering me with kisses. He was amused obviously and told me he finds me like a cute kid. So I thought what was cute with a girl eating an ice cream which is quite a very normal thing. It was only after I was done eating and I went to the bathroom did I see in the mirror that there were ice cream streaks on my nose, my chin and sides of my mouth – like a child indeed. I didn’t know I eat ice cream as messy as that. lol *wink*

Another precious moment was when he dropped by a drugstore after a 2-hour travel from work to buy me medicines when I was having this migraine and how good it felt when he gave me a massage on the head to alleviate the pain. Such moments were priceless. They’re even better than the medication itself. Aside from that, he went ahead and bought us dinner and a juice drink because I wasn’t feeling well, I can’t prepare dinner and can’t leave the house. Unfortunately though, I got used to having him around most of the time, I feel so alone when he is not around. Yet I know this is God’s reminder re idolatry – no other thing or person before God. I should learn to rely on to God for my security, comfort and happiness and not solely on my husband.

There were also moments like when I was “Ms. Amnesia” and I keep on forgetting one or two ingredients from the grocery list and when I am about to cook, I would suddenly remember the ingredient. Ugh, definitely frustrating on my part and yet when I ask my hubby if he could buy me those ingredients at the wet market near our place, he would willingly do so even though he’s just got back from work. Aaah yes, this is just one of those moments that I so appreciate and love my husband – just like my Dad. ❤

I am grateful too for my husband for fulfilling the provider role 100% as he is the only one working. I am jobless by force. lol Graduate study and thesis work demanded I go full time with it. I do get to earn a little in other ways but it was hubby’s earnings that we solely rely on and yet God as the ultimate source of our provisions. Glad to say Brian and I aren’t just surviving but thriving. God is the great source of everything indeed.

One thing I admire about my husband though is when he would look after my needs before his. There’s this one time I asked him that we should buy new shorts because he’s been wearing the ones he has now for almost a decade already. He assured me there’s no need as they are all still wearable and yet when he saw that I needed to buy a laptop case, a new pair of jogging shoes, phone upgrade, etc. there he was insisting I buy them. He succeeded in convincing me because I experienced the inconvenience of not having them which inconvenienced him too. But no, like him, I don’t buy stuff if there really is no need.

There was one time too when we were watching this show and hubby and I were sort of playing the role of fashion police re a character’s shoes. Then he said out of the blue, “Hon when you start working, I am going to buy you stilettos.”

I’m like, “That’s nice of you Hon but I can’t wear stilettos in school, not especially if I am going to be a Special Education teacher.”

Then hubby insisted, “But Honey, stilettos look good on you. I don’t see any reason why you can’t wear them in school.”

Getting a bit impatient I added, “But stilettos are party shoes Hon and you only wear them on formal occasions.”

He insisted yet again, “The pointed shoes, Hon?”

Me: “Oh Honey, you mean pumps?” LOL

Brian: “Ohhhhh they’re called pumps. How would I know what’s it called, I am a guy.”

Well, I can’t blame him, can I? 😉

I consider simple, mundane moments as memorable especially when they make a huge impact in our lives like when I slowly taught him how to do things around the house and though he doesn’t like it at first, he finally got it when I told him it is in preparation for parenthood. I can’t be grateful enough and proud how he does things now on his own.

Or that time when I had this craving for a cheeseburger and asked him to buy one for me not taking into consideration there are different types of cheeseburgers. I was craving for the classic with the pickles but he bought the newest addition to cheeseburgers. It was okay but I wasn’t craving for it so I ended up telling him that I actually wanted the original. 😀

What happened next was something I did not expect. He offered to buy me the right cheeseburger. Yay! He actually just got back from work and a two-hour travel time and yet here he is offering to buy me a new one at the middle of our dinner. I asked him if it is okay with him and he said yes because I wouldn’t be enjoying my dinner anyhow. So out he went and bought the right one for me. I know he was tired from work and yet he still chose to go out and buy me a new one. To return the favor, I gave him a full body massage for about an hour which he did appreciate so much. 🙂

Those moments too when I saw a missing button in his office uniform and offered to mend it, he suggested that there is no need for he keeps it that way. Or when I saw him wearing a shirt that’s not been ironed and told him I’d iron it first but he insisted he likes it that way. Indeed, the world of two opposites – the OC and the not OC, that’s what we are. 😉

There were times when he’d also come home bringing three kinds of food for dinner and one was especially for me – he knows my favorite even without asking. Or that moment when I am “Miss OC” and he is “Mr. Laidback” and when he wakes up, he puts his deo on the desk and when I wake up, I put it back on top along with other beauty products. I find it so funny now that that kind of routine happened for about a month without me telling him what to do. I just thought he’d “duplicate” my actions if every time he wakes up and before using his deo, he would see it along with the other beauty products, without me saying a word – it worked. lol

I also had this fascinating discovery I found with my husband. Though I didn’t study dream psychology in our discipline, I made this experiment on him just for fun. My hubby grits his teeth during his R.E.M. and it disrupts my sleep big time being the light sleeper that I am. I do not want to disturb his sleep if I wake him up thus the experiment – every time he would start to grit, I just call out an expression of endearment to him and he would instantly stop. I know it has something to do with how the brain receives the sound and connects it with a memory that is pleasing, happy or calm. According to research, gritting happens due to stress. It became an amusing field of experiment for me as I watch him closely every time he is asleep and starts to grit and I would call out to him softly – he really does stop right away and it is effective all the time. Well, that is if I’m also awake. But if I’m in my deep sleep too, then I’ll be praying for our neighbors who’ll be the ones to hear it. *wink*

Seriously, I know love never demands and yet I honestly am guilty about this. I see it not as demands though but setting the boundaries in a marriage. Honestly too, in our critical times as a couple, I think I have asked the question to myself if he is really the one for me or I have made the wrong decision when I chose to marry him. But as months grew longer of us being a couple, I started to realize that God never makes mistakes nor did He plans for things to fail. It is the other way around – always for our own good.

PRESERVING THE LOVE: My 2-year old preserved rose from our very first Valentine’s Day date when hubby was my bf then.

I see myself loving my husband even more now. I appreciate having him around and my love for him just goes deeper with every conflict and struggle that we go through and overcome together. I know he is God’s best for me. I used to be blinded by the negativity of my situations around me and in front of us and yet I see it now that God wanted me to trust Him, honor what He has given me and train myself to look at the finish line and not the journey per se nor how rocky or smooth the road is.

If this is a test of character, then I have to go thru it and pass it according to God’s standards. But more importantly, God gave me an answer that yes, I can trust my husband if I trust God first that my husband will be leading me and our future family and that yes, I have made the right decision in choosing him as my husband.

I once asked my husband why a couple has to have opposite types of personalities and backgrounds and he said just like what everybody says that it is for a couple to complement one another. Yes, God knows better than all of us so why question everything around us? Maybe all we need to recognize is the fact that God is in control of everything and settle for that.

“God has different plans for each of us. We might feel that others have an easier assignment, or a more glamorous role to play. But if our loving Father has handpicked us for our task, who are we to whisper, “I can’t do this”?” – ODB

I know this is just the beginning and just a few of the memories that my husband and I are going to build and share together until death do us part. If you will notice, I have only shared the good memories from the past year which, as we all know, are not what only happens in married life for real. But I thought it best to share the good stuff to maintain the positivity and the good vibes. It is God that I intend to glorify anyway and not the enemy. 🙂

Indeed, it is not the accomplishments nor the possessions we have in life that will sustain us come old age, but our relationship with God and the people closest to us whom we love and love us back. We have so many things to be grateful for and those are the things that are simple, mundane, mediocre and oftentimes we take for granted. All we need to do is appreciate them as part of God’s blessings to us – like having a spouse for one. No other couple relationship is as fulfilling, as secure and as meaningful as the one bound by God and the Holy Matrimony.

To the married folks out there, keep the laughter and the love overflowing between you and your spouse at all times putting God at the center. ❤ 🙂

“For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised and uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” – Galatians 5:6

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” – Hebrews 13:4

“Giving honor to marriage will require the utmost in Christian conviction and sensitivity. Modern social theory may redefine the family, and the new definitions may be far from its biblical foundation. What can you do? Witness to the depth of God’s love for you by keeping your marriage happy and strong. Remain faithful-in body and in mind. Pray for your spouse. Honor biblical marriage (consenting man-woman unions) by resisting political pressure to recognize and legalize other sexual preferences. Teach children the biblical meaning of marriage. Pray early for their own eventual spouses and families. Make marriage enrichment the goal of your small group discussions and study. Encourage the marriages around you to stay strong as well.” – You Version Devotion

P.S./P.R.

Okay, the P.R. there stands for the Praise Report. 😀

We are finally connected with a couples’ victory group in church that fits to our schedule. This is one of my faith goals ever since we got married and been praying about it since then. But I am continuously praying this will be the spiritual family that Brian and I will be growing together as we tread on the season of married life. There are also other things, amazing and surprising things, that I’d like to thank God for but I thought I’ll just keep that between me and God in my quiet time with Him – this post is already too long. 😉

God’s Not Dead 2: Who’s Watching It and Who Watched It?

Posted on August 15, 2016 by Christine Lailani

My husband and I were sort of contemplating what Christian-themed movie to watch and it suddenly crossed my mind that God’s Not Dead 2 was already released in some countries last April of this year. It hasn’t been shown here in the Philippines yet if I am not mistaken so I found myself watching the trailer. When I saw the stats, there were 15k who liked it and 14k who disliked it (as of viewing).

BUT this should not be a cause of alarm nor disappointment for believers who widely support Christian films. As a believer we should take it as a sign of hope. The 14k who disliked the movie meant that they watched the trailer until the end making them decide that they dislike it – the planting of the seed (please refer to 1 Corinthians 3:6). It is just the beginning and God will make it grow regardless on who planted or who watered it. 🙂

Many are still in disbelief. This is a fact.

I believe movies such as God’s Not Dead were made to serve only one purpose – glorify God, which is the sole purpose of man in this world. The truth will be made known whether we like it or not, whether we try to suppress it or not. It will remain as the truth and a fact – Jesus lives, Jesus is the Son of Man and Son of God and there is a God.

It is part of history and we can never ever erase history. I’ll cite for one where our calendars are patterned from – A.D. and B.C. If we do erase history then all foundations of civil society now will be futile and senseless – it will become an endless pursuit of the “hows” and the “whys” which can become chaos.

Chaos. Without civilization, everything will be in chaos. What keeps a society in order is the system and the system is the foundation. The foundation is what history is all about. Imagine a society wherein you will be starting from scratch – that’s a whole lot to work on. So should we also not use our calendars since Christ doesn’t exist thus, B.C.(Before Christ) will be considered null? Then, we should not be counting days or years or celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, etc. or even plan our schedules.

Let’s say Science. Is Science a fact? Is it part of history? It is. So much of what Science covers are truths. BUT Science, like History, is not God. It doesn’t contain the wisdom that God has. God only wanted to be revealed in these branches of study and shed light on some of what He is capable of doing but never to undermine the work He has first created and established.

I shared in my previous article before this that I used to be overwhelmed by “why” questions pertaining to the existence of things and this world. I was in pursuit of worldly knowledge so to speak.

Have you ever heard a 6-year old ask you questions that for adults seem to be very absurd and yet in actuality, they speak so much of reality – innocently true? Take these questions as an example:

“Why are our skulls created to be spherical and not triangular?”

“Why are our eyes positioned to be parallel with each other horizontally and not vertically or why not put one eye at the front and one at the back?”

Or better yet,

“Why do we only have two eyes and why not make four situated one in front, one at the back and one on each side (this will be awesome because you see everything around you literally – no “blind” sides. lol)?”

I have a 6-year old nephew and while attending to him one time, he started asking me similar questions and I saw myself in him when I was his age. I just smiled and can only utter a prayer, “Lord, you have given a mind that is inquisitive, who is hungry for knowledge, please guide him along the way.”

Going back to those questions, adults will dismiss them – man does not have an answer for them. Science can define their functionalities but Science can never answer why we have two eyes only and the likes.

This is not to dismiss the branch of Science though. I believe God created scientists for a purpose and why they’d be gifted with such skill and knowledge in exploring and discovering what this world is composed of and what’s it all about – it makes it easier for man to understand how one correlates with the other. In the same way that History was created for the very purpose of enlightening man.

In the same way that God sent Jesus in this world in the form of a human being so that He would be able to deliver the message in a manner that humanity will understand and relate to God. God allowed the field of Science to be created so man would understand how God created this world. That was His way of explaining to the human race in a way that we can all relate – a message through man.

Would we be able to understand what salvation is and what God wanted for us to do if He didn’t send His Son Jesus in this world or if God sent Jesus in the form of let’s say, a dove? Would we be able to understand that feet are for walking or hands are for holding and grasping things, that incisors are for cutting and molars are for chewing food, that menses are for reproducing, etc. if Science didn’t explain it?

I still have that thirst for knowledge. But this time, it is a different kind of hunger for learning – something that is not of this world but spiritual. I do not know everything because it is God’s role to know everything. I may be bombarded back then by questions that seem to have no answers and yet FAITH has taught me this:

“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

It simply means to respect God for who He is – our great, magnificent and supreme God. There are some things that we are to know and yet there are some things that we shouldn’t ought to know. We have to learn the boundaries and limitations between God and man – the supreme being and the ordinary being, the perfect and the imperfect. Most of us may have questions similar to what I’ve posted above or questions pertaining to faith, God and Jesus and yet we can be assured that in God’s perfect time, we’ll be given answers.

But do take note that they do not come via “Eureka moment” out of the blue without any preemptive means but they can only be found in the very tangible proof of God’s Word that came from God, Himself, through Jesus – the bible.

The bible does not contain specific answers as to why we have two eyes only and yet it will teach us in a manner that God only knows how through the Spirit of Christ in you, in me and in all of us. We need not go looking for answers but by reading the bible, all of these things around and within us make sense – our source of contentment. 🙂

Defining Nothingness In A Nothing Box

Posted on August 10, 2016 by Christine Lailani

“Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6

Doing my research for my graduate study led me to a whole lot of other things like in particular, Participatory Methods, which then led me to more possibilities that tapped my interests and a wide range of advocacy I support. Similar to a kid who discovered something interesting and had that hunger to look for more, I found myself having so much in my plate. The things I have discovered were all helpful in so many ways and I have so many uses for them. But they were far too many that the next thing I knew, I found myself overwhelmingly asking: “Father God, what do I do now?” *wink*

Participatory

Now this is the complete example of what I stated in my previous article that “too much is detrimental.” It really is. In this case, it was information overload as I wasn’t only processing what I was reading but I was also thinking how and where can I use it – multitasking. My head just felt like it is about to explode. In fact, I had a slight headache afterwards. I looked at my husband lying comfortably and peacefully in our couch after a tiring day at work playing a game in his phone. I kind of envied him actually.

I asked,

“Honey, men have a nothing box, right? Can you teach me how to have that nothing box?”

He stared at me blankly for a moment, smiled, then resumed to what he was doing.

Me? I stared at him blankly too. No words, no explanation, just nothing. Ah, so I got it. That is exactly what a nothing box is! lol

Unfortunately my mind is not wired that way – my female brain. After I saw his reaction, my brain cells went ziiiiit, zaaap, ziinnnng and in a split second I formulated the following questions in my head:

“Did he hear me right?”

“Was his answer really a silence?”

“What do silence and a smile mean?”

“Should I ask him again?”

Oh why, oh why can’t females have the nothingness of a nothing box too? *wink*

Looks like I might need to watch this video again by Mark Gungor from his marriage seminar entitled “Tale of Two Brains.” 🙂

The Plight of the Poor

Posted on August 4, 2016 by Christine Lailani

I consider it a privilege that where we are staying now is situated near a slum area. For 15 years since I started going to college until now, this has been my second home. I grew up waking up each day opening the gate seeing those who rummage the garbage of what they can salvage and sell. Or that moment when I pass by their community and the pair of torn and tattered shoes I have decided to throw out and dispose the other day is now being displayed at the side walk for sale – 10 pesos. 🙂

Now when this happened I just smiled – what I considered a garbage is a blessing to others. I can’t help though but feel for these people. I know God has a special place for them in His heart and I know that they will soon be given an opportunity to know God and have better lives here in this world – better spiritual lives. This is all that matters. I know that when Christ is living in their hearts, they will see God as the sole provider of all of their needs and the only source of hope – not the government nor foundations/organizations.

This thought pacifies me every time I feel at a loss how to provide them the financial and material support that they need. I had to control myself that what they needed are not money nor possessions but Christ. If I give in to the temptation of providing them their basic needs, I will be drawing their attention to me as the provider and not to God who is the ONLY provider unless they already have a firm foundation of who Jesus and God are in their lives.

The latter posits as a challenge because what we’ll be infiltrating is a set of cultural values and beliefs that have been embedded even longer than most of us have lived. We are banking on not just one person but a family and eventually a community.

Thus, they are constantly in my prayers. May they be given opportunities to have a saved life, free from the corruption of this world. May they find hope in the beauty of salvation and what it brings to someone’s life – like mine.

This is possibly the reason why I became active in supporting a wide range of advocacy that focuses on family and community outreach. Though for now I feel like I haven’t been contributing much with my limited capacity to help but I know prayers are powerful and God hears all of them.

It doesn’t feel right with me that I am experiencing a life better than them in some aspects and yet on a certain level, I feel one with them – we are all sinners. This, alone, will bind me closer to them despite the differences.

To end this short article (this was unplanned because today is a busy day for me but I just felt I had to share it) I’ll just quote the first beatitude:

Photo courtesy: thekingscorneratctk.blogspot.com/

July 26: Quotation of the Day

Posted on July 26, 2016 by Christine Lailani

A-relationship-that-lasts-is-one-with-Christ-in-the-center

Angel, Did You?

Posted on July 9, 2016 by Christine Lailani

FinalFeather

Angel, did you…?

Did you graze upon our home and left this proof of your presence? 😀

Okay, now this belongs to a bird, a small one, which frequents my little garden at the back of our apartment to get bits of a pot made from coconut husk to build for its nest.

But for angels, it oftentimes occurred to me that they do exist with us except that they are not the ones which we commonly imagine or how angels are portrayed in children’s books – with wings of fluffy feathers as white as snow and with silken, long white robe.

I have read in the book of Revelation that angels are actually very huge beings which do not take the form of a human. They usually come in a bright light which, I believe, is where the “white figure” idea of an angel came from.

I know angels can also be spirits and yet there is only one Spirit that lives in all of us – that which is of Jesus Christ, the one He sent to be with us when it was time for Him to physically take leave of this world and be with His Father in Heaven.

But then again, childhood memories are not easy to erase. Though I believe in the Spirit and acknowledge His presence in my life everyday, I will still stick with my bright, feathery angel and this photo I’ve randomly taken will remind me of that. 😉 ❤

“The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and delivers them.” – Psalms 34:7

P.S.

I don’t have any formal training in photography and I just shoot when I want with what I want on who I want. But I guess you don’t have to travel far and be in grand and new places to enhance your photography skills. Same thing with writing. I was trained to write scholarly and academic papers back in college and even now in my graduate study and the jargon is totally different to that of feature writing like this one which has a very casual tone.

But in life, faith in God and experiences taught me more than the technicalities of photography and writing per se for they taught me more about one thing – appreciation. It was actually my faith followed by my transformation/salvation that brought this blog to life, not to impress readers nor gain followers and likes but to express my thoughts and honor my God.

I was then urged to make the mundane interesting by appreciating what is already in front of me a.k.a. what I can make out of what I already have – God’s love. This is what I call the by-product of “eyes being opened.”

Then, everything becomes worth capturing – they all now have a story to tell. All we have to do is take on the Spirit’s leading in His ways and in His time when to share them. 🙂

Mid Year Prayer and Fasting 2016: July is Enthusiasm

Posted on July 7, 2016 by Christine Lailani

For this year’s mid year prayer and fasting in our Victory church, it fell on the month of July same as the Muslim’s end of “Ramadan” and my Paulo Coehlo planner has “enthusiasm” as the BIG word for this month. I intended to lessen my social media interaction during this period to lessen distractions and temptations. Compared to my previous testimonies during prayer and fasting which were day by day accounts, I thought about summarizing experiences for this mid year’s prayer and fasting.

Fasting, for me, actually happens every single day. Fasting is denying yourself the desires of your heart which is most oftentimes can be associated to worldly pleasures to be more in tune with the Spirit. In other words, fasting means having self-control and discipline. My definition of self-control means controlling my desire to get any opportunity to try all great food out there in big volumes (gluttony); controlling my desire to get all the new gadgets in the market and other material possessions (greed); controlling my desire to avail all cosmetics, plastic surgery or other beauty enhancements (vanity); controlling myself in acquiring every opportunity to earn titles and be well accomplished in terms of business, career or in academics (pride) and a whole lot more of desires that need to be controlled.

The prayer and fasting that our church has which takes place during the mid year and the start of the year are ways for me to present to God the even bigger “giants” that I need to overcome not just for myself but for those around me too. These “giants” could be prayer requests that have not yet been answered and yet proved to be quite burdensome and the circumstances that I have no control over. Thus, I make sure my testimony for the prayer and fasting will be documented and here it is. 🙂

Let’s start with Day 1 (Faith to Speak).

True enough to the word “enthusiasm,” day 1 has a BIG revelation already. Before I even started my devotion for day 1, I already received a text message, a follow up about something I am sincerely praying for over familial matters. It was followed by a prayer from me and I cried upon seeing it because it only meant one thing: God answered my prayers just to give us hope although more prayers are needed and yet the assurance that He is with us in this ordeal that we are going through is more than enough. It brought back memories of me 3 years back before I got saved and what I also went through. Then, the bell of a nearby church rang, it signified the holy hour of the day – 12 noon. Ahhh yes, the LOVE OF GOD manifests everywhere. 🙂

I shared to my hubby what happened and he told me that I really am dedicated in doing things that are not even required of me. I told him that yes, I am doing it out of love – sharing the love that God gave me. If it wasn’t for Him, I wouldn’t be where I am now. It is the love of God that saved me from the repercussions of my sin and past mistakes and eventually saved me from death – salvation through the Cross.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus, our Lord.” – Romans 6:23

I continued that I am able to share this love that God has given me to others because I know how it felt to be on the losing end, alone, empty, afraid and unsure of everything because of the total darkness around me and yet God gave me hope, He gave me peace and lastly, He gave me security. All because He loves me. True it is when the bible said that,

“We love because He loved us first.” – 1 John 4:19

I want to share this love to others so that they, too, might know who God is and how it feels to be saved by GRACE out of His undying FORGIVENESS and faithful LOVE to us.

It was in this moment that I realized what my brother told me that I was selected for the task, for this mission, being the one who has a flexible schedule because of my masteral thesis and I have no work. So my prayer went like this as I ended my prayer and fasting devotion for day 1:

“Dear Father,

Though I may shed tears as I humbly pray to you now, it is because I am overwhelmed by Your presence that I am feeling now. You have, once again, through miracles, shown Yourself and how great Your love is for us. You never left me and my family. Through the times that we have to cope with grief, loss, pain and suffering, You gave us patience, courage and strength to endure it all. This goes out to other nations as well and their people who are going through the same thing.

This prayer is not a prayer of requests but of gratitude. I have made my heart known to You and all the needs and the burden that I have to carry and yet I find myself at peace every single day, not worrying about anything (which is unusual) and enjoying a content moment with my spouse. We are savoring these simple but precious moments that we are experiencing now and we never fail to thank You of that every day as we come before You and pray.

Indeed, You are my footprints in the sand, the only footprint visible because You carried me all the way. Thank You for the protection, for shielding us from the attacks of the enemy to steal, kill and destroy, for guiding us in our decisions, for instructing us what to do and showering us with the warmth of Your love.

I know, Father, that You have prepared me and prepared all of us in every circumstance and in every season that we will go through in this life. Thank You, lastly but not the least, for sending to us the Spirit who will remind us, guide us, intervene for us and lead our every moment in our lives. We know that You are preparing us for the second coming of our Savior.

I am lifting up Your Name as I continue to trust in You and claim the beautiful promises that You set before us in every battle that we will go through in this world. We are all victoriously saved through the One and Only Son whom You sent to save us from the perils of this world and take away all our pain, sorrow and suffering once and for all.

I love others because of You and because I LOVE YOU…I am EXTREMELY GLAD and GRATEFUL that I have come to know You and I will FOLLOW and OBEY what You command me to do through the Mighty Name of Your Son, JESUS,

AMEN.

Your loving daughter,

Tin”

Then, heavy rain poured (I love rain). Was it Your assurance God that You heard me? I bet it is. *insert enthusiasm here* 😀

On with Day 2 (Faith to Fight).

Because miracles do happen, I believe this testimony will attest to that – MORE GOOD NEWS! Though I cannot share the specifics for confidentiality purposes, I know my Father God sees it all and the enthusiasm I have for Him and all His goodness. Ah Lord, You are our Great Healer and Deliverer indeed. Thank You for all You have done. 🙂

This verse indeed came to life for me:

“The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent.” Exodus 14:14

Without even thinking who to encourage as part of the “Respond” activity for today’s devotion, God already gave the opportunity who I should encourage when it comes to faith. I only realized it some time after I sent the message to these people – God gave the need.

Today was all about fighting for faith and the enemy will never give up without a fight too, will he? I committed to a no-rice, smaller intake of meals fasting being a heavy rice-eater. Oh boy, my neighbor now started cooking deliciously-smelling viands and the aroma is just filling the entire house and I can hear my stomach grumbling its complaints. 😀

Then there went my internet connection unusually going off for some time, which rarely happens, exactly when I am about to share about faith in my social media accounts. Well, the enemy can try but he has found the greatest adversary ever in me – God. Try as he might, I am also determined to do what I was tasked. 🙂

I also had to go to the mall to buy some stuff and hubby and I decided to eat dinner at the mall’s food court. I ordered pita bread while he ordered 2-piece fried chicken with rice. I told my husband while eating, “Honey, you know how enviously you are making me feel with every spoonful you take with that rice.”

He laughed and offered me a piece of chicken skin (my favorite). Then I told him too, “You know that chicken skin too is sinfully delicious. It contains too much allergens and high in cholesterol, I should also avoid that.”

I went on that controlling my desires and avoiding temptations will make me happy because it will make my Father in Heaven happy too when He sees what I did. So now my hubby resolved to have a no-rice fasting too so he could empathize with me and not tempt me. 😀

Though I did not encourage him to do this because he needs all the energy he can get commuting every day to work for 2 hours in every trip and the demands at work. So I told him to eat just the way he would but just be with me in faith and in prayer. 🙂

My prayer for this day went like this:

“Father in Heaven,

You have, once again, tremendously shown that we need not worry and be anxious about everything for it is You who are fighting in our behalf. You have, once again, given opportunities to show how faithful You are to our needs. Indeed, I only need to be silent and let You do what You needed to do.

I will never stop in fighting the good fight of faith to honor You and Your commandments. Though the enemy may strike everywhere and anytime, I have faith that You will give me the armor that I need to defeat him.

May You continue to give me the strength and the courage to pursue in living what is good and what is right according to Your standards. I am inviting You in my every fight for faith through the Mighty Name of Your Son, Jesus, AMEN.

Lovingly Yours,

Tin”

Last but not the least, Day 3 (Faith to Overcome).

Today was also another beautiful day receiving a personal message from someone whom we have been praying for – a text of gratitude. It made me cry tears of joy, out of gratitude too. Darkness was overcome and there is now light, a resurrection, a redemption and a new beginning.

Ahh, we have such a loving God. If only more and more people could see it. If only more could experience it. 🙂

I believe the following statement from today’s prayer and fasting devotion will answer this:

“We must have faith to hear from God and do what He says, regardless of how unconventional or illogical the instructions may be.”

I know that faith is the only way to overcome every challenge, setback, trial and suffering – claim the victory that has already been made for us through what Jesus did on the Cross for us. We were already made victorious by His blood shed on the Cross – we just need to CLAIM it. Most probably why the word PROCLAIM. 🙂

We are to proclaim that Jesus has saved us and granted us victory over our sinful lives i.e. bad habits, past mistakes, wrong decisions, lust, greed, pride, wealth, possessions, etc. and over this sinful world i.e. death, crime, murder, sickness, corruption, etc. There is victory to those who believe that He has overcome the world once and for all and all we need to do is to live out this thought in every portion of our lives.

We have to proclaim that God, through His Son Jesus, is the ruler of our lives and the ruler of this world – ONLY Him. 🙂

“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” – 1 John 5:4

So I’d like to end this article with this worship song that I encountered while having my worship time first day of the mid year prayer and fasting. Honestly, my worship time at home means jumping, dancing and singing out loud because I can’t do it in church lest my flailing arms might hit fellow worshipers. 😀

I was singing this at the top of my lungs and…..hubby just got LSS (last song syndrome)-ed by this song! hahaha He and I are humming and singing this song since then every time.

Well, this song reminds me of what true worship should be: the FAITH to SPEAK, the FAITH to FIGHT and the FAITH to OVERCOME….all with ENTHUSIASM. 😉

Thus, for my prayer, I have this:

“Dearest Father in Heaven,

Thank You for giving me two great partners in this world – the Spirit and my husband.

Thank You for the Spirit who intervenes in all that I do and I thank You for my husband who shares in my every tear and my every laughter through the bad news and the good news, the failures and the triumphs.

We love You so much, Lord, for being with us ALL THE WAY. We are looking forward to claiming life in eternity with You and Your Son. With You nothing is impossible for You have overcome the world.

Thank You most of all for the overflowing love which gives me, in turn, overflowing happiness, peace and security. Thank You for giving me a reason to live life ENTHUSIASTICALLY.

In Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN.

Forever Yours,

Tin”

May everyone raise their hands to the sky and give God the praise, the glory and the honor that He deserves. ❤

And may God bless you, dear sister/brother, who is reading this. 🙂

A Father’s Day Special: Courageous

Posted on June 17, 2016 by Christine Lailani

This movie review is a Father’s Day tribute to honor the roles of the father in the family and in society. If you are wondering why I don’t have a Mother’s Day tribute here in my blog for this year, hubby and I went home to my province and celebrated it with my 69-year-old Mom and 91-year-old grandma – two great matriarchs in my family.

Circumstances won’t allow me to visit my hometown again and celebrate Father’s Day this June 19 with my 76-year-old Dad. I thought about honoring my Dad here instead. Since he is not updated with the technology-driven world, he’d probably joke around saying what I wrote about him over social media will already “expire” before it reaches him. Yup, that’s how funny my Dad is. 😉

Before I proceed with the movie review, I’d like to share some snippets on who my Dad is. My brother wrote an essay about him 11 years ago, which was selected as one of the articles read during the graduation rites of my brother’s class (Sanlingan 2005) at the Philippine Military Academy. When the announcer started reading Kuya’s essay during the ceremony, there came the gushing and shedding of tears – our tears. It did bring us all to tears because my brother was right, our Dad is “The Unsung Hero” and yet loved and respected by all.

Our Dad is a man of few words and yet he cracks the silliest of jokes. He is seldom the disciplinarian and yet when discipline comes from him, we all remembered this need to hide as his discipline would mean leaving a mark for the rest of your life. He seldom gets angry but when he does, it is the kind of anger that you would not want to see.

I am grateful though to my Dad that he got to “discipline” us. If it wasn’t for this, our lives might be in a total mess right now and without direction. Now that I am a believer, I have learned that discipline in a family is very important not to show who’s the boss in the household, but for parents to guide their children in the right way because they love them and only because they wanted the best for them. It’s just like how God, a Father to His sons and daughters, disciplines and rebukes us so we could live fruitful and better lives.

My Mom is never the stage mom type and when I was in grade school, I was always invited to participate in dance numbers, presentations, oral declamations, etc. So you’ve probably guessed who was with me most of the time during these activities – my Dad. 😀

It is a #FlashbackFriday today so please allow me to backtrack a little bit to when I was in grade school just to share some photos of moi and the extra curricular activities I have mentioned:

Sitting in with the Grade 1 class as I am still a year younger.

Before there was Walking Dead, there was zombie dance. lol Seriously, this is a Hawaiian dance number.

Loving my childhood because of Girl Scout Camping. This was during our hiking and swimming at Obou Falls.

Competed with other schools in the folk dance category during the Literary & Musical Contest.

School play during my last year in grade school and played the role Thisbe in the Greek story

I’d just like to give credit to my Dad for being our all-time photographer – these photos and memories wouldn’t have been made possible. Nope, I am not a Daddy’s girl and I do not consider myself as one. I never experienced being so absolutely clingy to my Dad, but at some point I did feel a deeper connection with him more than my Mom when I was in high school. But when I got into college, I felt that both my parents did so well in raising me and my siblings, and they never had any “favorite” among the five of us.

I believe one thing that I am forever grateful to God for is the fact that I grew up with both my parents present through every milestone that we went through. Though we all had to leave home when we all went to college, we always looked forward to the days when we will all come home together and both our parents were there to welcome us.

As for my Dad, I admired him for being a civil engineer by weekdays and farmer by weekends (tending farms is difficult) just to make sure we have enough for all our expenses as a family, while Mom was a grade school teacher on weekdays and stayed at home cleaning, gardening, cooking, and doing take-home work on weekends. But this kind of setup didn’t mean Dad had no time for us at home. It was, on the other hand, quite the opposite. Despite juggling through a lot of responsibilities at work and at home, my Dad made sure all our needs (not just material things) were well-provided for including emotional support, bonding time, etc.

Dad, the civil engineer, fresh from oath taking during his late 20s.

Dad, the farmer, and me, the farm girl. I mean, the photographer. ;-)

I’d like to share at this point a little trivia on me – I was Daddy’s little maid. We all are actually, but I believe it is more of a “youngest” thing. *wink* Yes, every time he cuts grass in the garden with the lawn mower and he was all sweaty, you’ll hear him calling out to his “errand girl”:

“Nen (my nickname which is short for Nene)! Please get me a glass of cold water and towelette and wipe my back dry.”

Then, after a hard day’s work at the farm, Daddy would ask me to give him a back massage while he is resting. When I was little, back massages for my Dad meant doing my “cat walk” on his back while he’s lying face down. Well, that was when I was still skinny and little. When I grew older, it became just the regular back massage.

It was only when I was in college and the only child in the family still studying that my parents were able to gather enough funds for our house to have it completely constructed – the product of all their hard work, patience, and perseverance. But it is more than just constructing a house that they have built – they have built something greater in us over the years.

While reminiscing our younger moments spent with our parents, it just dawned on me how we were taught to value hard work over riches and accumulation of possessions, why quality time with loved ones is better than splurging and being with a lot of people on grand occasions, and being content with whatever we have. They didn’t particularly instruct us with Bible verses on how to live our lives, but now that I am slowly learning the Bible day by day, I realized that my parents brought us up according to the Scripture – live life simply with fear in the Lord.

To end this part, I’d like to share this text message that my Dad texted me about a difficult situation that I am going through. This was in the vernacular (Bicol), so I’d just translate it for you:

“As long as you trust in yourself, you trust in God and if it is meant for you, it will and it will come.”

Of course, Mom also has something similar regarding another event which I informed her yesterday:

Never mind the exclamation point because my Mom wasn’t angry nor excited, she just wanted to emphasize the last statement. That is how my Mom texts – stressed words in capital letters accompanied by exclamation points at the end a.k.a. generation gap. lol I’m just kidding. It’s a good thing my Mom doesn’t read this. But if she does, errrr, love you Mom! 😀

Another thing, praise God for Skype – long distance relationships are now easier to deal with. After reading this, you might have this impression that he is a perfect man. But honestly, like any Dad in this world, he is not perfect, too. Well, let’s just say he’s close to being perfect. I chose to see him that way despite his imperfections. He is our hero, anyway.

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

A portrait of Mom and Dad talen in 2012. 🙂

Courageous: The Movie

Now, let’s get on to the movie review. This is, by far, one of the best movies I have watched that focused on fathers. If I have to commend the Kendricks brothers for producing such great Christian films, it’s because a majority of the scenes portrayed all depicted real-life scenarios. Although we can say that some were tweaked to fit the entire theme of the movie. If all the scenes were to happen in real life though, some may take quite some time to happen, unlike how the timeline progressed in the movie.

Not all relationships and marriages are the same. They’re always a case-by-case basis and yet watching this movie now made me realize what to expect and what to do if time comes I am faced with the same situations. I highly encourage all the young men out there, fathers, and soon-to-be fathers to watch this film, and I am praying you will step up to the place that God has called you to be – as Godly leaders and future leaders of your homes. My husband and I watched this film together, and what he blurted to me after watching was this,

“Honey, can you look up on the internet for more movies like that?”

Ah yes, that’s an affirmation, a positive response. I was just glad that was the kind of response that the movie elicited from him. I wasn’t expecting anything at all regarding my husband’s reaction though I did my research what the movie was all about prior to watching. I just thought we’ll view it like any regular “chill time” movie that we come across and watch during rest days.

Praise God for sending the Spirit to guide and prepare our hearts, minds, and souls on how we are going to interpret the movie. I only recommend movies if I rated it with 5 stars (very good) meaning it made such a life-changing impact on me i.e. how I view things, how it changed my perspective on certain things, such as my lifestyle, my attitude, and my character, and so on. So yes, please do watch this movie.

Hubby and I watched it a couple of weeks ago, and we both agreed this is the perfect movie to watch on Father’s Day. Thus, I’ll cut this short for now and let you watch it. But first, don’t forget to shower your Dad with much love and appreciation on his special day as a father. 🙂

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE FATHERS and most especially to my ONE, GREAT FATHER from up above, FATHER GOD! ❤

RESOLUTION

“…I now believe that God desires for EVERY father to courageously step up and do whatever it takes to be involved in the lives of his children. But more than just being there providing for them, he is to walk with them through their young lives and be a visual representation of the character of God, their father in heaven.

A father should love his children, and seek to win their hearts. He should protect them, discipline them, and teach them about God. He should model how to walk with integrity and treat others with respect, and should call out his children to become responsible men and women, who live their lives for what matters in eternity.

Some men will hear this, and mock it. Or ignore it. But I tell you that as a father, you are accountable to God for the position of influence He has given you. You can’t fall asleep at the wheel, only to wake up one day and realize that your job or your hobbies have no eternal value, but the souls of your children do.

Some men will hear this and agree with it, but have no resolve to live it out. Instead, they will live for themselves, and waste the opportunity to leave a godly legacy for the next generation.

But there are some men, who regardless of the mistakes we’ve made in the past, regardless of what our fathers did NOT do for us, will give the strength of our arms and the rest of our days to loving God with all that we are and to teach our children to do the same.

And whenever possible to love and mentor others who have no father in their lives, but who desperately need help and direction. And we are inviting any man whose heart is willing and courageous, to join us in this resolution.

In my home, the decision has already been made. You don’t have to ask who will guide my family, because by God’s grace, I will. You don’t have to ask who will teach my son to follow Christ, because I will.

Who will accept the responsibility of providing and protecting my family? I will. Who will ask God to break the chain of destructive patterns in my family’s history? I will. Who will pray for, and bless my children to boldly pursue whatever God calls them to do? I am their father. I will.

I accept this responsibility and it is my privilege to embrace it. I want the favor of God and His blessing on my home. Any good man does. So where are you men of courage? Where are you, fathers who fear the Lord? It’s time to rise up and answer the call that God has given to you and to say I will. I will. I will!”

– Adam Mitchell, COURAGEOUS

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The Journeyman's Moments

The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.

Tag Archives: Jesus Christ

1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: The Celebration

1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister & Missus

God’s Not Dead 2: Who’s Watching It and Who Watched It?

Defining Nothingness In A Nothing Box

Angel, Did You?

A Father’s Day Special: Courageous

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