Tag Archives: Jesus

Protect The Soft Ones

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I thought I was already done with an article on mental health, but it looks like God is asking me to write more. The topic is no longer uncomfortable for me because the incident of attempted suicide happened a very long time ago.

And journaling about it helped me process the negative experience, which paved the way for my healing. The problems that I am going through now are also different compared to what I went through before. And being a born-again Christian now, I think, mattered greatly in how I view and deal with mental health issues as they come.

In fact, I no longer cry every time I recount the turning point of my becoming a born-again Christian. Um, no, I think I shed a tear or 2. Or maybe 4? Wait, I think, it’s 7. But it’s definitely less than 10 tears. lol 😀

Seriously though, I do take note of my crying sessions as part of my emotion regulation strategies. If the crying sessions don’t stop after 15 minutes, that means I need to do something productive that doesn’t involve too many emotions.

It has to be something that will keep my mind preoccupied. Let’s say solving a puzzle or playing an online game. Anything that taps the logical part of my brain.

I do agree with what some people say that your professional job can be a way for you to temporarily shift your focus from your sorrow or pain. Well, given that it’s not the source of your sorrow and pain. 😀

Kidding aside, we have to love our jobs because God gave them to us as a means to provide for us and our families’ needs. God often uses our jobs as a channel of blessings to other people, too. ❤

Being In Tune With Your Emotions

Emotion regulation is a challenging skill to learn. It will take a lot of time and requires discipline, self-control, patience, and different coping mechanisms to master it, especially in some cases where childhood verbal abuse was present.

Let’s say you are in the middle of a conversation, and you want to snap because somebody said something harsh to you, and in your head, you’re like, “That was rude. That comment was uncalled for. Where did that sarcastic insult come from?”

So then you start feeling irritable and angry, but emotion regulation will say, “Switch those two buttons off, pause, take a deep breath, excuse yourself from the conversation quickly, come back when you’re calmer, or just let it slide. God heard it, anyway.”

If you hear these sarcastic and rude comments often, my suggestion is to lessen your interaction with that person. Avoid situations you know will lead to a heated verbal exchange. There is always a polite way of saying “no.”

And actually, people can’t force you to stay if you leave. Their behavior is always beyond your control, and your peace of mind matters more. It is my prayer that you will be able to discern when a relationship is becoming abusive.

If these instances should persist for months to years and nothing seems to change, please seek God’s guidance if the best resort is to leave for the time being. Then, have faith and leave the changing to God. That is how we set boundaries. Although yes, this is always easier said than done.

The Bible also has something to say about emotion regulation:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

There are actually a lot more Bible verses about controlling the tongue and managing anger, which I also mentioned in the article before this. While it is God’s mandate to love our enemies, God also taught us to be discerning enough to know when a situation becomes too destructive for us that it will tempt us to commit a sin.

This is why prayer is very important. Because when we are in spiritual warfare, we need to pray and ask God through Jesus’ Name to equip us with everything that we need to win the war.

And no, fighting head-on with the enemy (confronting) won’t give you a good ending. It rarely does. In fact, it’s the other way around, and I have learned this the hard way.

But I have learned to forgive myself and forgive others. And day by day, I continue to seek God’s help to mold me, change me, and teach me what I need to learn so that when I encounter a similar situation in the future, I will respond better.

Sharing A Testimony And Being A Witness For Christ

Going back to dealing with mental health issues, the challenge really is not about remembering a bad memory. But being vulnerable enough to share my weaknesses here for the entire world to see, holding on to Scripture:

[Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”] – 2 Corinthians 12:9

And I also want to allow fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to test the spirit from which my articles are coming. Please rebuke me if necessary because, as I’ve mentioned in my previous articles, I am no theologian, and I do not have the proper training. All I was tasked to do was to share my testimony and my personal spiritual journey, and how I view God as a believer.

As it is written,

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this, you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. 

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore, they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this, we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.” – 1 John 4:1-6

I Call On God’s Mercy And Protection Over The Soft Ones

After another incident yesterday of the suicide of yet another young person (and another report, as of writing, of a student from a university in Manila who allegedly fell), I felt like I had to continue writing this article. This has been sitting in my drafts since last year. And it looked like it was meant to be written and posted this year.

I would like to cover the family with prayers of comfort and peace in this time of extreme sadness and grief…May God’s saving grace be upon them as they heal from this heartbreaking moment…My heart grieves with them…I pray that no spirit of condemnation be upon the family of the bereaved, and I am praying for the eternal rest of their child’s soul…<3

I don’t want to go into details about how I failed in my two suicide attempts before I became a born-again Christian. But there was one instance that I remembered, trying to think about how my parents would react. They were not perfect, and I can also list a couple of things where they failed as parents. I just felt they don’t deserve to experience something as tragic as this.

I read this statement in one article written by a pastor (not verbatim) to put it lightly: “If you are desperately longing to be with God, this is not a good way to meet Him.”

And yet I was also reminded that we don’t see the struggles of every person on this planet. Depression, for one, is a silent killer. It really doesn’t have a face. Some people are so good at masking it that you won’t notice the depth of heaviness they carry every single day. And nobody is exempt from it; even pastors and priests fall victim to it.

Because the enemy chooses NO ONE in particular, it chooses ANY ONE.

And this is the war that I have talked about in my previous articles. This is the battle that we are going to face now, and some people are already fighting it, me included. And this is why I entitled this article, “Protect The Soft Ones.”

I chose to use the word “soft” instead of “weak.” I think those who took their own lives were actually not weak. Because taking a life is murder, no matter who did it or to whom, even if it’s your own.

You may be emotionally soft, but you will need physical strength to be able take your own life. Otherwise, you will fail. Just like what happened to me. Because I am emotionally soft, but I am also physically weak, that is why I failed. And yet it is in my weakness that God met me. ❤

I Chose Life Through Jesus Christ

Whew, Lord, February pa lang, ang bibigat na ng pinapasulat mo sa akin. Pwede bang magsulat tungkol naman sa kung paano naiinlab ang mga langgam? Kasi lagi sila dinadamay sa mga sweet memes, Balentayms pa man din bukas.

Ah yes, “Laughter is the best medicine,” as they say. In fact, the Bible said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” – Proverbs 17:22

If you’re wondering why I get to talk about death and dying in a somewhat casual manner, it is not because I am taking it lightly, because I shouldn’t. But it’s because I came close to death that I am now no longer afraid of it, PLUS (and a very big plus), combined with Jesus, the Cross, salvation, and life in eternity, no, I think we don’t have to be afraid of death.

AND YET, I still firmly believe in promoting life – CHOOSE LIFE, LOVE LIFE.

Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10

God has given us life for a very good purpose. If I succumbed to suicide 13 years ago, then most likely I wouldn’t be able to meet my spiritual family, I wouldn’t be able to write my testimony and the saving grace of God, this blog wouldn’t have existed, and I wouldn’t have met the beautiful community of WordPress. ❤

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

I always hold on to this phrase when things don’t work out the way I expected them to, not because God answered all my prayers and solved all my problems before. But there’s always His assurance that it is only a season.

Before I continue to the mental health part, I would like to offer a short prayer first. Words have the power to start a war or calm a crowd. It either heals or it wounds. I am praying mine will be able to uplift spirits and not condemn.

Please pray with me:

Dear Lord,

We ask for your divine leading on how we are going to discuss this topic. May it not lead to desperation but instead offer a renewed sense of hope. May it bring assurances as much as it brings tears of freedom because all burdens were lifted.

Please open our minds, hearts, souls, and spirits as we receive Your wisdom in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN.

Why Mental Health Matters

I was recently doing a little bit of research on mental health because of something that my family and I just went through that brought back sad memories. And after 30 minutes of research, I was prompted to stop because I already got what I needed. It looks like the Spirit reminded me about not allowing the negative energy from what I read become the portal for whatever evil that almost was successful in making me do the unthinkable.

My search brought me though to ponder on thought-provoking questions such as:

“Where do people who died by suicide go?”

“Do believers go to heaven even if they commit suicide, such as the priests and pastors who took their own lives?”

“Do we go straight to heaven after we die?”

“Do we get new bodies in the Second Coming?”

“What kind of judgment happens during Judgment Day if, after dying, we are already judged as to who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?”

While I have found the answers to these questions, I felt like I was in no position to write them here. My recommendation would be to reach out to your church leaders, pastors, and priests to expound answers to these questions, as God equipped them in times like these. Most of our churches have emails and contact numbers, where you can send in your questions if you want to be anonymous.

Meanwhile, aside from connecting to a spiritual family and prayers, I would like to share a couple of practical tips on how to deal with mental health issues at home. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting style, yet the Bible offers some reminders on how to rear children. I pray that every parent will be guided by the Spirit in raising children because it is also a calling.

How To Win Your Child To Christ


“Fathers (and mothers), do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

I know I am in no position to share about parenthood because I have never been a parent. Well, Paul shared about love and relationships when he was actually single. 😀

My parents have a different way of raising us, too. But as I grew up, I have also learned to adopt a new parenting style should it be God’s calling for me to raise kids. Here are some of them:

1. Have Those Hard and Difficult Conversations

As parents, it is always best to become the mediator during arguments and conflicts. And only saying “that is enough” and letting them boil their anger down, and giving space and time to forget the conflict has happened, will never make the problem go away.

It’s best to follow it through by allowing both parties to talk about their grievances, and remind each child if one is shouting or the other is blaming. Come up with a list of solutions that are favorable for both sides. Make them agree with it and commit to it. List down the consequences if they won’t be able to stay consistent in keeping their promise. This is to establish accountability.

And when your child finally opens up, do not dismiss what they feel nor downplay their emotions. They need to be seen and heard, and this is very important. Let’s practice the attitude of listening with the intent of understanding, and when I say “understanding,” it should be less about our standpoint and more about where our child is coming from.

If the issue is affecting them big time, you might have to break some of the previous rules you have in place and approach from a place of love and understanding instead. I have seen families who went through the most heartbreaking tragedies, but they remained intact. I know love is a main driver of it.

2. Keep Dinner Table Conversations Light

Do you want to be grilled while you are eating your favorite pasta? I think the cheese will love it. But a person won’t. 😀 I believe we should digress from asking the usual questions, such as “How was school or work today?” and replace them instead with “Hey, what are your plans for the weekend? My ears are open for suggestions.”

Try to notice your child’s behavior if something is off, and you can attempt having a conversation with them in private, like, “Sweetheart, I noticed something is bothering you. If you want to talk about it, I want to let you know that I am here to listen, okay?” When your child is going through something, be a friend first, a parent second.

I know some parents don’t want to do this because they are afraid their children will not respect their authority afterward. But I believe that this is when your child will need you most, so it is critical to create a safe environment where they will not be criticized and reprimanded for being honest.

3. Establish Boundaries

Each of your child will have their own personalities. There are the confident ones. Then there are the shy ones. You have the joker. You have the genius. Each of them will have their own temperament. And each one will develop their own interests and influences. They will also have their own group of friends.

Boundaries will make sure that the family respects each member’s individuality. And yet, parents have the responsibility to teach their children about their identity in Jesus Christ and raise them according to Scripture.

Please, please, please avoid comparing them and avoid pitting them against one another. That is the easiest way to destroy your family. We do not destroy our families; we build them carefully and lovingly.

When a family member needs space, give it. If one family member prefers to be away from home for some time (if they are above 18 AND if they can support themselves by working part-time or being a scholar), give them that request if, after praying, God instructs you that it is really necessary.

But make sure to still check up on them every now and then. Leave it to God to do the protecting when anxiety tells you what if something bad happens to my kid while he/she is away.

4. Pray Heartfelt Prayers (Not Generic Ones)

We’ve all had those prayers when we were kids. Pretty understandable. But as kids grow older, we can slowly teach them about the art of praying. Most likely, they would want to know how to start a prayer, how to end it, what to include in their prayers, or how long or short it has to be.

If we want to amp their praying habit a little higher, or when they become young adults, we can show them how to pray for others, too. This way, it’ll be natural for them when one of their siblings needs prayers as they enter adulthood and have their own families already.

5. Offer Apologies

I really admire parents when I see them stopping a fight between their two children, wherein the parent will ask one child what his problem was, and then switch to asking the other child what is it that angered him, come up with a quick solution, and then ask them to apologize and hug after.

This scene always warms my heart. And at the same time, I also pray that when these kids grow up, they’ll still apply the same conflict resolution strategy even if their parents are no longer around. By the way, the Bible has a lot to say about apologies and forgiveness. Here are some of them:

“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” – Mark 11:25

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

Bottomline, it will always be a case-by-case basis. I pray that God will give every parent the wisdom to do His will as far as raising children is concerned.

How To Win Your Parents To Christ

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

I know the feeling of being a rebellious teen. I was one. I know the feeling of doing bad things just to offend my parents. It was a painful learning experience, but by God’s grace, it brought me to where I am now.

It taught me that no matter how bad you felt, you only have one biological family. If you are still under your parents’ care, meaning you still live with them and they provide all your needs, it is only honorable that you obey them.

No family is perfect. However, if they are the reason for your brokenness; forgive because they, too, need God’s saving grace. God is also working in them. If you need to be away from them because that is the best way for you to heal, you can still love them from a distance.

From my experience, I actually couldn’t remember exactly how my Mom talked to me again after not speaking with me for 2 years. I would come here at home, and she would give me the silent treatment as if I did not exist. I did not force her to talk to me; I just waited. Until an opportunity came wherein we were on speaking terms again.

By the way, just for context, it was my Mom who provided the funds for my graduate study, which is why her anger was valid. Though we had an agreement that once I get a job again, I will pay her back. I wasn’t able to pay her back, but I made it my responsibility to help take care of her when she was hospitalized for 2 months due to stage 4 breast cancer.

Mom wanted me to finish my graduate study asap. Unfortunately, after talking to my thesis adviser, I would have to forego getting married, getting a job, and attending to my husband’s needs if I want to finish it, as it will require I put my 100% focus on my graduate study.

I also had a realization that Special Education is not for me, so I pursued a writing career instead. By the way, only 3 graduated from our batch (there were 15 of us, if I remember it right) – it wasn’t easy. You had to make a lot of sacrifices, especially during the thesis part (individual and not group work), sacrifices that I couldn’t make at that time.

And I am very grateful for that experience, no matter how difficult. Why? It deepened the bond that I had with my Mom. We are not the type who share our personal problems with our parents. Most especially when it comes to relationships. But after the incident, I felt like the barrier was broken down, and I could share anything with my Mom.

And the timing was perfect because when I went through very rough seasons in my marriage, it was my Mom who became my number one confidante. I would call her and text her very long messages explaining what happened, and she always gives me answers and advice that give me peace and strength to move forward.

And during one incident, I was able to hear my Mom mention her having a personal relationship with Jesus, and acknowledge her need for prayers. That, to me, was the best Earthly reward for persevering even when I felt like ending my relationship with my Mom once and for all. Hearing her say that she has Jesus in her life is everything to me, and that is the only thing that matters, actually.

That’s why when my Mom passed away in 2023, even though it was very painful as it was the first death in my family, my heart was at peace because I know where she is now. To all the children out there, love your parents, and never cease praying for them.

Nothing is too broken for God. When He says that He will fix it, He will fix it. God is always working. ❤

A Prayer of Deliverance

My family and I may have our own rifts now, and I know we will go through a lot more in the future, but I have faith in God that we will overcome every single one of them by God’s grace. We always do as long as we keep God at the center of our relationships.

In the same way that God loved the church so much, I have the same love for my loved ones, and nothing can change that. I hope you cling to this hope, too, that every pain shall pass.

And even if they don’t go away right away, those many years that you have waited without seeing any results or receiving answers from your prayers, know and believe that God has already worked on so many things that it’s a definite that you won’t stay in the same situation for the rest of your life.

Again, God is good all the time. He is always in control. He is always working. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). And He is never late nor early, He will give you what you need at the right time.

So, press on and move forward. Keep moving forward, even if you have to drag yourself to get to the finish line. God is with you always. Seek professional help when necessary, and as they say, surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, not the worst.

Don’t forget the story about the footprints in the sand. When you are too weak to walk, God will lift you up and carry you, so you don’t have to walk alone. Even if you don’t know how to pray because you are just too overwhelmed, just cry out loud, “Lord, please help me.”

That is all that I ever said, that is why I am still alive now, and that is all that I will ever say, every time I am in deep waters. God rescues those who call out His name, He never fails.

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.” – Romans 10:13

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” – Romans 8:38

“We love because God first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

To end this article, please join me in covering our families with this prayer:

Dear Father,

You are the only One who knows the condition of our hearts. You see everything, You hear everything, nothing is ever hidden from You. We lift up to You every single member of our family. May You watch over each and every one of us as we go through different seasons in our lives.

Please send Your angels to guard over our homes, and even in places that we have to be. May every family stay united in defeating every enemy who will attempt to steal, kill, and destroy every beautiful promise that You have for us.

I cast out any demonic spirits that are attacking every home right now. Please shield our homes with Your mighty power as we continue to remain steadfast in our fight against evil.

I declare healing. I declare deliverance from the stronghold of the enemy. I declare peace. I declare hope. I declare joy. And most importantly, I declare love to be upon Your precious children.

May Your light shine in and through us, that we may continue to do the work that You have set for us to do. Help us, Lord, to finish this race victoriously, carrying our own crosses and Your banner high, loud and proud.

This we pray in Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

P.S. The name Amos keeps on popping up everywhere lately, I think the Spirit is leading us to read the book of Amos. 🙂

“Ngisog” & God’s Powerful Reminder

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I have been praying to God for 3 days on how to write this, because just like the article before this, I will be touching on a very personal and sensitive topic. It is not my intent to ask for sympathy or validation as to why I am writing this. In fact, I waited for how many days to make sure that I am writing this not out of anger or retaliation.

The answer came – testify, but do it through the Spirit’s leading, so other families may also be ministered to, especially those who are going through and those who will go through the same ordeal. 

I will be writing this article in 3 languages – Bikol (the rant), Filipino (the processing), and English (the reminder). You may skip to “The Processing” and not read the first part because it’s a very long portion.

During “angry writing,” I use the vernacular (Bikol) because I need to focus on writing it out, helping me to process my anger before it goes out. Whereas, if I use English, I know there’s a high chance my writing will be offensive. 😀

Compared to “angry speaking,” I use English because I am not a fluent speaker. Using English gives me control and self-restraint when I am angry because I need to find the right words. And it’s the same when I use the vernacular when I am angry, they will be hurtful words because it is the language that I use often. 

That is why I think it is better to learn another language, because when you are angry, you can use that foreign language. And you won’t offend people because they won’t understand what you’re saying. lol There is also a high chance that, out of your anger, you use a different phrase because you can’t remember its exact translation. So, instead of “I hate you,” you might say “Je t’aime.” 

I think you’d get a hug and a kiss after. If that’s the case, I would love to be angry every day. lol I’m kidding. If my corny jokes make you laugh uncontrollably, that means you are my person. 😀 

Going back to why I wrote this article, I entitled it with one local word, “ngisog.” It’s a local term that means “angry.” And this will be the central theme that I’ll be working on based on these Bible verses:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

Before we continue, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guard your heart after reading because no family is perfect, no marriage is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, because no person is perfect. I am not perfect, I still sin, and I still have a great need to repent and seek God’s mercy and forgiveness.

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” – Philippians 3:12-14

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” – Romans 3:23

I am not sharing this, too, to shame anyone or bring embarrassment to my family. But to share God’s reminder that we must work together peacefully.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18

The Rant (Minsan Lang Naman)

Kun kilala na niyo ako sin awat, dire talaga ako madali mangisog…Halaba an ako pasensya pero dahil dire man kita perpekto nan maski sin-o na tawo, pag nasasagad, nangarangas…Saro man saako personalidad na dire ako mainistorya pag may mga tiripon…Pero dire man ako an tipo san tawo na pag may naimod na dire dianis pareho sin pagabuso o may-on sin nakukulugan an boot, saro ako sa mga masita suon…Dire sa nakiaram ako pero kay inpapanghawakan ko ini na Bible verse:

“Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.” – Psalm 82:3

Pareho na lang kun may kadanon ka, dire ko kaya maimod na an kadanon inmumuslak…Kay maski nano na mali san tawo, may tama na paagi sin pagsuhito para mahimo na niya sa otro an tama…Sabi ngani nira, minsan dire an mismo na pangisog an nakakulog san boot kundi an tono san imo pagsurumaton…

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Dire man ako pabor san papatrabahuon mo an kadanon na papakuskuson mo an pavement maski naguuran nyan an pandong sa ulo an plastic lang, huluson, tapos may-on sin sip-on…Dire rason dapat na di kaya bantayan an kadanon didi sa sulod kay kaipuhan sin halaba na pasensya nyan pagputitok…Kaya dire ako nangalas kun nakay sige an absent kay malain an pamati altho aram ko daghan pa iba niya na rason…Para saako, para mahimo sin saro na tawo sin mayad an kaniya trabahuon, ihatag mo kaniya an mga pangaipuhan para mahimo niya sin mayad an trabaho niya…

Saro pa, maski sin-o na tawo masusumo kun an snack mo pirmi biscuit… 😀 Kay heavy labor baga, pira man lang na gastos kun an ipamirindal mo pan para may kusog san lawas…Para saako, atamanon ta man an mga tawo na nag-aataman saato…Dire nato pag-isugan an mga tawo na nagdadanon saato sa mga bagay na dire na nato kaya mahimo…Dire dahil kay inseswelduhan, magtrabaho, bayadan, tapos na…

Maski an dire paghatag sin salary increase (nagtugot na an financier) kada taon is a form of oppression lalo pa na sige man an taas san barakalon dahil sa inflation…Dire ngani ini oppression sa mata san batas, pero sa mata san Dios oo…Lalo na kun naiimod man an gub-at nyan kadaghan san intatrabaho niya kada adlaw…Nyan inhihimo man niya intero na insusugo mo kaniya na dire siya nagdadabog o nagsisimbag saimo…

Importante man gihapon na makaigwa sin relasyon that goes beyond a leader and a subordinate sa mga inkakaputan na tawo dire dahil friendly kita, kundi para maintindihan nato sin mayad an personalidad nira, an paagi san pagtrabaho nira, nyan problema sa balay na intero ini makaapekto san kaniya performance sa trabaho…Dire lang talaga ako nakiaram kay sabi ngani sa simbahan, there can never be 2 queens in 1 kingdom…Nyan aram ko kun gaano kapagal an people management…

Wara ako sin kontrol sa mga bagay na ini nyan posible sa iba trivial lang ini na mga bagay…Pwede palagpason kumbaga…Pwede ko ngani talaga dire ini pag-intindihon kay dahil dire man ako an nagpapasweldo nyan dire ako an nagkakapot san kwarta pangpa-sweldo…Limitado an kaya ko na danon na mahatag sa kadanon para madanunan siya kaupod na doon an mga libre na bulong kay kun maski nahapdos, inkakaya niya magsulod…

O mahatagan sin diyo na kwarta lalo na kun nagipit kay dahil single mom siya, pero dire pirmi kay para may-on pa gihapon sin boundaries na dire abusuhon an imo pagdanon…Nyan kun nano na mga pagkaon na mahatag ko, intatagan ko…Dire ako nagi-expect na magpasalamat saako…Kay an ako lang na tuyo, an makadanon kay dahil naiimod ko an pangaipo maski dire saako sabihon…

Nag-uli ako didi sa sadire ko na kagustuhan…An asawa ko yadto sa Pasig kay may naimod ako na mga bagay na kaipuhan sin danon didi sa niyan pareho sin kaso sa ingod na kaupod ako sa mga akusado…Dire ako nasanay mag-ayo sin danon kay dahil may mga tawo na pag maayo ka sin danon, maski saday-saday na bagay, magub-at sa boot nira an pagkooperar saimo…

Kaso naabot sa punto na kaipuhan ko talaga sin danon lalo na sa mga bagay bagay na kaipuhan at least 2 an tawo an mahimo…Niyan kun pagalon ka na, susurumatunan ka pa sin dire dianis, bulyawan ka, o kun dire, dire ka simbagon, nyan murusutan ka maski matanos man an pakisuyo mo, kaso urgent an concern, masasagad ka talaga na makasabi ka sin dire man dianis dahil napuno ka na…An sala mo lang kay nag-ayo ka sin danon na kun tutuuson saday man lang ngani na pabor…

Sin-o an dapat na mag-call out sin irog sadi na behavior kay dahil Kristyano kami intero, intero kilala an Dios, intero nagsisimba, and hopefully intero nagbabasa san Bible?…Nyan makakamundo lang na bagan gustuhon na pirmi may kahiran na an goal pirmi may kalatigaran, bagan mao an nakahatag sin energy baga…Kay ‘pag peaceful an environment, bagan nade-depress…Dapat ada nag-abogado na lang kuta ha… 😀 Kaya dire ka talaga lugod gaganahan magdanon kay mapagal na kun ikaw na nagdanon, ikaw pa an maparaot…

Mapagalon sa totoo lang i-work out an teamwork kun irog sadi an pagurupudan niye..Intero man kamo napapagal, nano kay kaipuhan pa mag-sungit…Kun dire kaya an iba na tasks, pagiristoryahan an pagbarahin san mga himuon…Madali man lang ako kaistorya kun i-assign saako an iba na tasks kay kun dire ko kaya, sasabihon ko man…Mas gusto ko ngani na insasabihan ako kun nano dapat talaga an himuon ko, kay basta aram ko siya himuon, willing ako to do it…Pero wara na kuta mabati na malain na mga surumaton…

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

Sa luwas dianison an paimod, mao man kunta pag kaupod an pamilya, kay di man an mga sa luwas an maakudihir saimo pag nangaipuhan ka sin danon kundi an mga kapamilya nimo… Love your own, protect your own ika ngani nira….

An mga irog sadi na simple na mga dire pagkauruyon kaya ko ini palagpason…Pero an pinakamakulog saako an nangyari kan Mommy san 2023…Na imbes na magkasararo alang alang sa nag-aagaw buhay na siya, makakamundo na kami san asawa ko na nag-volunteer lang magdanon, mao pa an nasahutan na nangupit san kwarta na panggastos sa mga pangaipo ni Mommy na dire namo yuon hihimuon in the first place kay dire yuon saamo importante na kwarta kay an Dios an naghahatag suon nyan may sadire kami na ipon…

Insahutan ka na tulos dahil lang dire nag-tally an computation kay syempre pagalon ka na kaasikaso sa Mommy niyo sa pag-alaga kaniya sa ospital, minsan nakakalimutan mo diin mo nabutang an iba na resibo kay dahil nagkakaradali nan daghanon ka inhihimo at the same time…Kami san asawa ko an imod namo sa kwarta na conduits lang san blessing kami para ihatag man sa iba as danon kun may sobra…

Nyan nagi-effort ka na makiistorya kuta sin mahinahon para maayos an mga dire pagkauruyunan, naghapot ka sin mayad kun nano an update, inupudan mo san due si Mommy niyo na operahan…Pero an hinimo, binayaan ka sa OR na di mo aram kun nano an next na mangyayari after san procedure kay dire man ikaw an nakaistorya san doktor, nyan kun pwede na kamo mag-uli sin asawa mo…Kay dahil nagkadali kamo paghatod san kwarta kay an rason na dire maaram kun diin ma-cash out sin GCash o ma-withdraw…

Maski są kasagsagan san bagyo, an asawa ko an naghinguha na mag-drive na muntik na kami maaksidente kay zero visibility kay makusugon an uran…Pero dahil kaipuhan, hinimo namo maski bayaan namo didi an mga alaga nyan maski sa butnga kami sin kun nano namo na inhihimo…Makulugon sa boot na pag-abot mo sa hospital, ikaw pa an may sala kay awaton mo dinara an kwarta…Naghuhulat ka sin update man lang nano an mangyayari, an insabi san doktor, inkakaistorya mo, dire ka intitingugan…Nano an choice ko sa sitwasyon na yadto? 

Nag-decide na lang ako na mag-uli kami san asawa ko…Pag-uli namo san asawa ko, nagtawag na si Mommy nagbabaon an bp during san procedure and may possibility na mag-cardiac arrest…Katapusan na san biyahe namo inpapabalik kami sa Sor Ci…1 hour sobra an biyahe, may bagyo…

Diyo lang ini na mga halimbawa na sasabihon ko didi, daghan pa an mga irog sadi na pangyayari…Pero sabi san Dios, Siya na lang an dapat makaaram tutal naiimod man Niya intero…Kaipuhan ko lang ma-share an iba para lang sa konteksto sadi na article ko…

Nagsabi ako san ako suhestyon kun pano ini maresolba na mga challenges niyan didi pareho na lang sin pag-assign sin mga trabahuon sa kada adlaw sa kada tawo didi sa balay para intero may ambag sa mga responsibilidad nyan dire naguguguan an saro lang na tawo…Kay pag irog sadi na paragalon na, kadiyo lang na problema, nasarabog na nyan kun manlain-lain na na mga maraot na surumaton an naruluwas…Importantehon saako an open communication because it paves the way for transparency, accountability, and eventually reconciliation na fair para sa intero…

I told the truth, and I apologized because I know I also fell short in some instances, but I never got an apology in return. And it would’ve been okay. But sadly, I was the one who was pointed out as wrong; I am the one who is always wrong because I am expected to always adjust to other people’s tantrums and mood swings. And I was told that I am the one who needs therapy, without even getting to know the root cause of it all. My prayer to God is that I really would be proven wrong, because who am I to judge, anyway? I am also a sinner.

The Processing

Siguro kailangan ko nga talaga ng therapy dahil masyado akong soft, masyadong sensitive, at masyadong mahina. At alam ng Dios ‘yun. Kaya matapos pumanaw si Mommy, kinailangan ko lumayo muna sa lahat. Dumating din ang tamang pagkakataon dahil nabigyan ng opportunity ang asawa ko na mag-trabaho abroad. Hindi ako sang-ayon dito sa totoo lang dahil flawed din ang asawa ko, kaya ipinasa-Dios ko na lang ang lahat sakaling mauwi ito sa tuluyang hiwalayan namin bilang mag-asawa. 

Ito ‘yung panahon na nanirahan ako sa isang apartment sa Sorsogon City ng 2024. Ginawa ko ito para pahilumin ang mga sugat at hindi ako tuluyang kainin ng galit. Ilang buwan lang akong nanirahan doon. By mid 2024, kinailangan ko bumalik ulit dito sa Bulan dahil si Daddy ay na-diagnose ng CKD at 15% na lang ng kidneys nya ang gumagana at hindi conducive ‘yung apartment para sa bago kong online work dahil maingay kapag umaga. 

Umaasa ako na sana may nagbago…Pero wala din, ganun pa din…Masakit makita ang Daddy mo na nangangailangan na ng tutok na pag-aalaga sa edad na 85 years old…Na ‘di ko basta-basta maibigay dahil kailangan ko na ulit maghanap ng trabaho at hindi ako ang humahawak ng pension nya at ako pa sumasalo ng ibang gawain dito sa pag-alaga ng mga manok, pagong, mga pusa, at iba pang tasks kapag absent ang yaya…Ang masaklap kasi binilangan ka ng contribution mo dito sa bahay, na in the first place, wala dapat ako dito at nandoon ako sa Maynila para pagsilbihan ang asawa ko…

Pero sa gitna ng pagdadalamhati, sinabihan na naman ako ni God na, “Tin, hindi mo trabaho ang baguhin ang ibang tao at ang mga sitwasyon. Trabaho ko ‘yun. Kaso timeline ko ang masusunod, hindi yung sayo.” 😀 At ngayon, may konting idea ako kung saan nanggaling ang resentment ni Mommy and her depression, too. Na umabot sa punto na sinabihan nya ako ng “Tatanda din kayo. Ikaw na ang umunawa kasi ikaw ang mas nakakaintindi.” 

Ni-try ko Mommy pero napagod ako ng husto. Hindi ako tatagal ng ganito ng ilang taon dahil magiging tulad mo ako na pinanghawakan ang galit sa puso hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang sandali. I am so sorry, Mom. Pero may tamang panahon na sarili ko din naman isipin ko, at ito na ‘yun. At ‘yun din ang message na nakuha ko – don’t sit at a table where you are not wanted.

Asawa ko ang nagpapadala sa akin ng allowance ngayon, kahit pa mag-isa lang siya sa Maynila, kumakayod para sa aming dalawa dahil hindi na siya bumalik abroad. Hindi ako makahanap ng trabaho ulit dahil sa dami ng kailangan asikasuhin dito sa bahay, kaya madalas din ako sa kwarto para magpahinga. Kaya ngayon magpapatuloy na ulit ako sa paghanap ng trabaho dahil dasurv naman siguro ng sarili ko na sya naman pagtuunan ko ng pansin ngayon. 

Ako ang tipo ng tao na hindi nagtatanim ng galit. Kausapin mo ako pagkatapos ng away, papansinin kita. Kapag hindi, hindi rin. Napagod na rin siguro ako na ako lagi nagi-initiate kahit pareho naman may kasalanan. Kung nag-attempt ako na kausapin ka, at nilunok ko ang pride ko, at hindi ka kumibo, isa lang pahiwatig nun sa akin, hindi na ako makikipagusap saiyo at hindi ko pipilitin ang mga taong ayaw akong kausapin. 

Hindi ako actually pabor sa silent treatment dahil dinanas ko yun kay Mommy ng dalawang taon dahil hindi ko tinapos ang master’s degree ko at ikinagalit nya ‘yun ng sobra. Alam ko epekto nito bilang recipient of that attitude. Pero inintindi ko si Mommy noon na her anger was valid as a parent. Hinayaan ko na panahon ang maghilom ng sugat. At kahit masakit na hindi ka kinikibo ng mahal mo sa buhay, umuuwi pa din ako dito sa bahay tuwing bakasyon and endured it all para lang hindi maputol ang relational ties ko sa kanila.

The Reminder

All the previous trauma and unhealed parts of me came back, and I was feeling very low over the past few days. After the heated argument (where I sinned again because I cursed and said extremely hurtful words out of anger), I thought I’d go out of town just to take a breather from everything. I decided to go to SM City Sorsogon because I also have errands to do there.

When the Bulan Trans Co shuttle was about to leave, one guy at the front stood up, and he did what I wasn’t totally expecting to happen. This never happened for the entire duration that I stayed in Sorsogon City in 2024, though I took the Bulan Trans Co shuttle often.

He started preaching.

At that moment, I felt like I was about to burst into tears. Lord, Your conviction really does hit the core. You know exactly what I need at exactly the right time. And it has to be a pastor – I cannot question the authority. 

God knows there is a possibility anger, bitterness, resentment, and retaliation will get the best of me. He knows I might go through a major depression again, and this time I might not get out of it anymore. 

The pastor talked about everything that I needed to hear, and at the end of his preaching, he introduced himself as Pastor Raul from the Pentecostal Church. He and his wife are missionaries from Negros, and were sent to build a church here in Bulan. They were able to buy a property in Brgy. Somagongsong, and there’s an old house there, which they are using now as their temporary church.

The second part included the offering. I know, some of you might think, what if he is a scammer using the Word of God to get money from people? That’s how I would think of them before I was a born-again Christian. 

But this time, the conviction is different. It doesn’t matter – I got to hear the rebuke, the reminder, and God’s saving grace. I prayed that my offering would help them spread God’s Word because what they are doing is not easy, and it is very risky. 

Every Nation (the mother church of Victory Philippines) is also a missionary-sending church. The church sends missionaries abroad, although Victory is also planting churches locally. I am very glad that other local churches also never stop building churches all over the Philippines.

And the denomination doesn’t matter. What is important is that Jesus Christ is the center of the church, and they are helping more people come to know who God is through the Cross. 

After this encounter with God through Pastor Raul during my trip to Sorsogon City, I felt like the Holy Spirit convicted me with the following Bible verses. 

“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.” – Mark 9:42

“Therefore, just as the tares are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age. “The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” – Matthew 13:40-42

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” – Psalm 141:3

“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” – Deuteronomy 30:19

“Correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:25

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” – Galatians 6:1

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

To end this article, here’s my prayer that I believe will help us all navigate through complicated relationships, making sure we are aligned with what God wanted us to do through the midst of it all, because everyone is a work in progress. ❤

Dear Lord,

I humbly come before You to seek repentance for all of my sins. Please help me to forgive others the way You have forgiven me. I may be like weeping Jeremiah now, but I beg You, Lord, to spare Your people from moral decay.

May our hearts not be calloused and devoid of love because of the work of evil around and in us. Spare us from the corruption of this world. Please continue to mold us to be the salt and light of the world always.

And yet, please remind me, too, if my self-righteousness has gone too far. Help me, Lord, to defeat the attacks of the enemy, removing all lies and deception that blind us from the Truth.

May we not fail to keep on being kind to people. Even if the world dictates that kindness is a weakness because it forces us to relinquish control and risk our authority being taken for granted.

Remind us, Father, that before we are bosses, managers, supervisors, and leaders, we are human first. I pray, Father, that we may grow fearful, not of what we will face in the future, but as a sign of our reverence for You.

It pains me to see Your people suffering, and even if I suffer, too, I will rejoice because I get to share the same kind of suffering with them. And because I am secure in the fact that we will also share in this profound joy, once You come back to reign heaven and earth for all eternity.

Please give us the courage to walk away when necessary, the peace to accept things as they are, and the strength to keep moving forward. Knowing all too well that You are always in control, and that You are working, always working.

I pray for parents that they will be given the wisdom to guide their children towards responsibly creating a safe atmosphere of open communication without raising voices or resorting to bickering. And that everyone will be given a voice.

Father, please heal our unhealed traumas because of generational curses. I pray, Lord, that as Brother Bo Sanchez said, may we not give an inheritance of these generational curses to the generations after us by being emblems of what God’s love is ourselves.

May we also not laugh at the misfortune of others, but instead weep with them and comfort them. May we refrain from having any form of pride, arrogance, and superiority complex just because we are blessed with a lot of things, sharing these blessings instead with those in need.

Teach us, oh Lord, that we should never be against one another, being able to see that these are all the enemy’s attacks to cause division within a family and even in spiritual families.

Because when you are cut off from the flock, you are isolated, an easy prey. I pray for unfailing unity in the body of Christ despite the trials and persecution. May we learn to work cooperatively and collectively despite our differences, putting others before ourselves.

May You guide our hearts to never be tempted to compete with other people, especially those who are in the body of Christ, keeping in mind that we have been blessed with different spiritual gifts. And may we also appreciate those who silently work behind the scenes, so that together we can give You the utmost glory.

And lastly, may this experience be a powerful testimony and a strong reminder to me, most especially, that You are greater, and that there is always hope through our brokeness no matter how shattered and no matter how pained.

This, I pray, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN. 

“But there is no peace for the wicked,” says the LORD.” – Isaiah 48:22

“Before a downfall, the heart is haughty.” – Proverbs 18:12

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” – 2 Timothy 3:1-5

P.S. I am planning to go back to Manila by April, though I have my apprehensions because Manila is not a place that I feel God is calling me to stay for good. I am also praying for the souls I will be leaving here, Dad’s and the little souls, that they would get the TLC that they deserve (na dire pagparapahulaton kuta bag-o asikasuhon) at hindi sila mapabayaan. God is in control, and I will rest in this fact. Feeling ko tuloy isa din ako sa mga Israelites na ni-exile at nagpa-wander wander sa iba’t ibang lupain dala ng mga unfavorable circumstances sa paligid nila. Saan ba ako lulugar, Lord? Where do you want me to go, where do you want me to stay? It looks like it will always just be me and my fair warrior, Finley, na magiging kasama ko madalas kung palipat-lipat ako kung saan saan. Start na ng training nya paglabas-labas ng bahay at pag-commute kasi mahilig si Meowmy nya mag-commute. 😀 And I think I left my heart in Mayon (sino ba hindi mabibighani kay Mayon) simula nang nag-ATV kami doon last May, kasi bakit ba ramdam na ramdam nya pinagdadaanan ko at nag-ashfall sya kanina nang malakas habang sinusulat ko itong article na ito. Always praying for every Albayano who will be affected. ❤

Naging Dora The Explorer by force para makapag-isip isip ng mag-isa. lol
Ang ganda na ng Sabang Park sa Bulan. The cottage is free, malinis ang paligid, at Php5.00 lang ang entrance fee. Thank you, LGU Bulan. ❤
Selfie with the boats.
Need namin makalanghap ng sariwang hanging dagat dahil pareho kami may allergic rhinitis ni Finley. 😀
Settled in comfortably during his quick, first gala with Meowmy. 🙂
My Finley Bear enjoying his new playpen at home, all thanks to his Dad. ❤

P.P.S. As an introvert, I fit the category of writers who are recluses. Though I do have a very warm personality during social interactions. I even talk to plants and animals, and I prefer talking to them because it’s less stressful. lol So when I am not outdoors, and I am in my room and not working, it is not because I am harboring anger, playing victim (we are victors in Christ Jesus), or being a drama queen. I am actually enjoying my solitude doing the things I love, which include writing, reading articles online (mostly about faith), playing with Finley, resting, and praying. I think I deserve to be who I am without having to explain myself as to why and how I do things. ❤

My thoughts exactly. lol

Beyond Labels: Securing My Identity In Jesus Christ

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This is a topic I have long wanted to include on my blog. But due to its sensitivity, I thought I’d wait for the right time instead. It looks like this is now the right time to post it. With everything that is happening around us lately, it wouldn’t be a surprise if there is a growing anxiety among the general public, even among those who seem to keep it all together.

Questions such as whether the economy will take a complete downturn in the coming years, or whether climate change effects can be abated or not, are taking center stage in almost every news outlet. Death tolls continue to rise in every part of the world, and not to mention the geopolitical tensions that never seem to end.

We don’t have to be reminded about the ongoing political clamor, religious persecution, inflation, and employment layoffs, which add up to the instability that the world is going through now. It’s no wonder mental health issues also increased in every age group – labels that now seem to define who we are.

Depression, for one, has had a significant increase over the last decade or two, according to a study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research. In the US, for example, research showed mental health issues are prevalent among young adults. While some of the causes include environmental factors, we also cannot dismiss those who are genetically predisposed to have these mental illnesses, such as Bipolar Disorder.

A Testimony of Grace In The Midst of Depression

This article will be coming from the perspective of an undiagnosed individual. I have experienced depression, but I just can’t say if it’s Single Episode Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Situational Depression. By the way, just for context, and I don’t share this often, but since this article will be a testimony of some sort, I’ll mention briefly how I’ve had two suicide attempts (both failed) before I became a born-again Christian.

I won’t delve into details because, as I have learned in the past seminars I attended in church, when you share a testimony, keep the bad part short and the salvation part longer – God has to take the spotlight and not the enemy. 🙂

The second attempt was what pivoted me to be born again in 2012, and why this blog was born (October 2012). After that, I still had some suicidal thoughts, but they’re all just passing thoughts. In the succeeding paragraphs, I’ll be sharing the importance of salvation, being born again, conducting research on mental illnesses, looking for support, and seeking professional help.

I did not seek any professional help (I also kept it a secret from my family), though I am willing to do so if worse comes to worst. Some people are not aware that they are suffering from a mental illness, some are aware but choose not to seek medical intervention (like me), and some badly need all the support that they could get.

The last ones are mostly severe cases. And I was able to witness one, and the experience allowed me to see what goes on inside a psychiatric facility. It is heart-wrenching. That is the only word I will use to describe it. I am praying God will provide more opportunities to help those who are afflicted by severe mental health problems, from more psychiatrists, more support for the family, to more accessible and affordable health care benefits.

Going back to what I experienced, I will describe the season as if you were in a dark pit. It is as if the darkness around you is drowning you, you can’t breathe, and you just can’t see any way out. There is this deep heaviness inside you that doesn’t seem to go away, no matter how positive you try to be. And there are just so many extreme emotions going on inside of you.

My Journey To Becoming Born-Again

When I was just a newbie born-again Christian, every time I looked back on that experience, I would cry uncontrollably. I guess it is the overwhelming feeling of being saved when you thought all hopes were lost. ‘Yung feeling na hindi pa pala katapusan ng lahat, meron pa palang paraan. And I found that hope when I got to know who Jesus Christ is. It was like all the burden I carried was lifted, and I just started looking at things from a different perspective.

This last one is the ultimate game changer. Because when you start to see yourself as part of a bigger picture, you realize that your problems aren’t really as big as they seem. They are just part of a master plan necessary to mold you into becoming more like Jesus Christ. While knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior didn’t diminish all my problems, and I still have problems 13 years after being saved, I now seem to have this boldness of spirit to move forward, which I know did not come from my own strength.

So where did it come from? I’ll tell you a bit of the process of being born again, but this will be from the church that helped me with my spiritual journey. I’m not sure if the process is different or the same for other churches. I’ve had my water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit at Victory Katipunan. It isn’t a one-day event; that is why your patience will be tested throughout the process, but it will make you realize how badly you need a personal relationship with the Lord.

(You may read more about my experience here: “Lordship: The Life After.”)

During the baptism of the Holy Spirit, one pastor laid his hands on me during the intercession. And I think that’s the time that my spiritual gift was awakened, which gave birth to this blog. I have always been passionate about writing. There is something about written words that I absolutely love.

Putting My Spiritual Gift To Good Use

I was gifted with the ability to see connections and patterns, most especially in words. As a professional, I use this skill to organize, analyze, set up systems, create written content, and perform tasks that require deep mental focus. I think my love for words is one of the main reasons why I passed UPCAT and got in at UP Diliman, because I got very high scores in the English tests (around 96%), even if I failed horribly in Math (like 70% or lower :-D), and got average scores in Science, Filipino, and History. Thank you, UP Diliman, for giving me a chance to be an Iskolar ng Bayan. ❤

There’s actually one incident wherein I wasn’t hired for a job position that I applied for, and the friend who referred me and actually worked in that company wasn’t promoted because I aced the English exam during my pre-employment assessment. They thought my friend gave me a cheat sheet, which wasn’t true.

I just have this fascination with written words, and my brain seems to remember highfalutin words even if I read them only once. Though the downside is that I don’t often remember the context where they were used, so my common error back then (before there was Google) was misused words in a sentence. I still commit that mistake until now, when I am feeling too lazy to search for the meaning of the word on the internet. 😀

This blog did not just pave the way for my spiritual gift, but it also helped me manage my depression. It became my online journal, and I get to process my emotions and give all my experiences an afterthought here. I think this is very important when it comes to self-regulation.

8 Practical Tips To Improve Your Mood

I have found the following tips very helpful if you want to boost your mood. The internet has a lot of them, actually, but these are what work for me, and I am praying they will help you, too, one way or another.

1. Read Your Bible And Pray Every Day

For an introvert like me, I love isolation, and being in a room all day long is normal for me. But this is also where danger comes in. The moment I am alone with my thoughts, the enemy will start to infiltrate them with all sorts of negative thoughts. My defense for this is the Word of God.

It is best if you set aside time reading the Scripture upon waking up and before going to bed. I prefer the bedtime Bible reading because everything is quiet. In the morning, I read daily devotionals like Our Daily Bread and YouVersion Daily Devotional, and watch the Morning Worship and Prayer of Victory Philippines on YouTube.

And don’t forget to make praying a daily habit. In fact, prayer must be your number one weapon during spiritual warfare. My favorite line is this: “No weapon formed against me by the enemy shall prosper, by the name and by the blood of Jesus Christ.” Say it again and again and again when you are having self-destructive thoughts.

2. Connect With Nature

You just have to love Mr. Sun for that much-needed Vitamin D. Go out and spend a lot of time outdoors surrounded by nature, and marvel at God’s wonderful creations. Walking also has a lot of benefits according to medical experts. It increases your dopamine, it helps you burn calories, it slows down aging, and the list just goes on and on.

3. The More Hobbies, The Better

Introverts and empaths are prone to depression because of isolation. They are also more likely to see things in retrospect and internalize everything. Having a lot of hobbies will help refocus from inward to outward. Plus, you get to learn a new skill, which might come in handy for future tasks that God will ask you to do. I have a very wide range of hobbies because I love learning, so I am always trying new experiences, good ones.

4. Listen To Worship Songs And Sing Along

Even if you don’t know how to sing, I suggest memorizing a couple of worship songs by heart. I find them very helpful when I am in a difficult situation, and I can’t seem to get out of it asap. I hum silently, and if it is okay to sing, I sing aloud. It really does change my mood, especially when I am feeling angry, nervous, fearful, or anxious.

5. Eat Healthy

I admit I don’t eat healthy sometimes. If I am seeing a doctor regularly, I’d definitely get a good spanking, I mean, a long lecture on the importance of eating healthy. 😀 I do try to be intentional in eating healthy foods, that’s why I have been experimenting with growing my own vegetables in our garden, and also for sustainability purposes.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t maximize the harvests because most of them died during the onslaught of several typhoons last year. I also found out that the soil in our garden is not suitable for growing vegetables since its composition is more clay than loam. I plan to adopt new planting methods and strategies for the new batch (hopefully this summer) to keep them alive, God willing, until harvest time.

6. Learn Your Triggers

Take note of what triggers you to have a meltdown or be in a depressive state. There are so many triggers around you, and most of them are out of your control, so try to avoid them if you can. If you can’t, then try coming up with a plan such as setting boundaries, learning to say “no,” doing social media fasting, or learning techniques to relax and destress while you are in a difficult situation.

Try to keep your mind off what triggers you by shifting your focus to what you will learn from the experience. As our church leaders would say, the best question to ask during difficult moments is this: “What is God trying to teach me in this season?”

7. Identify The Right Support Group

I know I will be biased if I say that you have to choose the people with whom you share your problems. For me, being part of a Bible study group connected me to spiritual mentors and coaches who can pray for me and, at the same time, I get to learn from their experiences and study the word of God, too, in a safe setting.

Although every Bible study group will be different, and all the members are flawed individuals, healing and seeking God’s grace, too. In my opinion, the best way to cope with depression is a combination of spiritual support and medical help, especially for severe cases. Try to make a self-assessment of whether your depression will go away or not, just by doing the tips I have mentioned above, or if you need more support or extra help professionally.

8. Self-Awareness Is Key

Depression doesn’t have a face. Sometimes the smiling person who seems to be so carefree is actually the one who is 90% convinced that suicide is the only way out, compared to a person with a glum look, but still manages to do regular tasks like a normal person. There is such a thing as high-functioning depression, by the way, although it is not a clinical diagnosis (officially). After being born again, I became pro-life – every life now matters to me. Regardless if it’s as small as an ant or as huge as a century-old tree.

Salvation made me appreciate life more.

I guess this is what it means to be empowered by the Holy Spirit – a total paradigm shift devoid of any labels. While the world defines empowerment as confidence and loud, I believe there is also such a thing as quiet empowerment. This, I think, is how the Holy Spirit works in us and what empowerment looks like under a spiritual lens.

It is not loud, but it is bold. It may not be fluent, but it is intentional. It may have hesitations, but it still moves forward. It isn’t all-knowing, but carries Godly wisdom. And this is how we secure our identities in Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

I am closing this article with a video from yesterday’s Morning Worship and Prayer led by one of the pastors (Pastor Christian Flores) from Victory Katipunan, where I had my “baby steps” as a born-again Christian. This church will always hold a very special place in my heart.

It’s not just a memorable place for me, but every person that I encountered in that church when I was attending services there played a major role in my transformation to become the person that I am now, starting from the pastors, small group leaders, spiritual mentors, co-volunteers, to other sisters and brothers in Christ. I had my altar call at the Victory Katipunan’s Singles’ Getaway in 2012, by the way.

Who knows, you might be next, too. 😉

P.S. Nami-miss ko na ang UP Diliman, kailan kaya makadalaw ulit at makasimba sa mga Victory churches doon? 😀 Also, I am not a theologian or a medical professional; please feel free to correct me if there is any misinformation in some of the details I have posted above. I will very much appreciate it. 🙂

P.P.S. After being born-again, there will be people who will test your faith, and if indeed you are now practicing what you preach. You will fail in some instances, but I pray it may not be the reason to turn your back on faith. Keep moving forward, we are all suffering the same kind of persecution. Let’s all carry our own crosses because we are all one in this suffering as we are the body of Christ. Don’t forget that Christians all over the world are praying with you in spirit. ❤

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12

“This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.” – 1 John 1: 5

“For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” – Ephesians 5:8

“You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” – Psalm 18:28

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“I praise You (Lord), for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139:14

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” – Philippians 1:6

His Second Coming Will Be A Spectacle

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I was compelled to write this article today while the ideas are still fresh in my mind and relevant to what is happening around us lately. If you’re wondering why I chose this topic to write about at the start of the year, events led me to make one fascinating discovery after another.

Why Now, Mt. Mayon?

If you’ve read the article before this, I mentioned the numbers 888, which, in Biblical numerology, represent a fresh start and Jesus’ resurrection. I just didn’t expect that personally, the fresh start would be painful, although not as painful, since I had seen it coming. I think it isn’t a coincidence that Mt. Mayon also started erupting again. And yet Mayon is the only creation I know that remains admirable even in her fury.

Last year, I was able to check one item on my bucket list, which is to get as close to Mt. Mayon as possible. I believe it isn’t a coincidence, too, that the Grab driver in Legazpi City who fetched us while we were having the new tires of our car aligned shared with us out of the blue about the quarrying projects in Mt. Mayon.

He said it’s easy and more money for the local government. I just had no idea of the extent of these quarrying sites, and I was able to see one during the ATV ride going up to Mt. Mayon (jump to 4:16 in this video).

Since January 6, 2026, the lava flows in Mt. Mayon continue, and the gullies widened and deepened with every pyroclastic flow, according to experts. I think the Albay government is already considering extending the 6-km permanent danger zone. Given the unpredictable weather patterns that we are experiencing now, which are expected to worsen as we are in a climate emergency, heavy rainfall will pose a major threat to the communities near Mt. Mayon.

Beauty In Ashes

Quarrying plays a vital role in the construction industry as well as in creating local employment, but it also destroys the natural habitat. I hope the quarry sites were assessed properly before the start of the project, making sure each quarry site won’t contribute to biodiversity loss. Quarrying also changes the topography of the area, making the soil unstable and prone to soil erosion and surface water runoff.

Now that the gullies are wider and deeper, and combined with the high volume of rainwater coming from the mountain, lahar flows will be the bigger problem. I am hoping and praying that the local government will double its reforestation and rehabilitation efforts at the foot of the volcano to increase natural barriers and make the soil more compact as more roots grow.

Local legend has it that when Mt. Mayon erupts, Pagtuga is disturbing Daragang Magayon. I can hear myself telling her, “Tahan na, Mayon. When all of this is over, we will be refined. As experts say, through subsequent healing, your cone will be new again – perfect as ever. God will rebuild what was damaged, He will restore what we’ve lost. You will be back in your original beauty and will continue to be a spectacle.”

But for now, there will be a battle. We are going through a battle of some sort. Mine is a spiritual warfare – letting go of what God is asking me to let go. Because there’s a part of me that is resisting, and yet God was saying, it is about time – be firm and stay.

ChatGPT Warrior

I wanted ChatGPT to come up with an image I have visualized, which best describes the season I am in, and it is an image of a woman warrior dressed up in a full body armor similar to knights in the Medieval Ages, or more like Joan of Arc. I initially asked ChatGPT to come up with a video.

I made a prompt with the complete details of the video concept showing a woman warrior in battle, but she’s exhausted. She kneeled and, with bowed head and sword lowered to the ground, she whispered, “I am tired, I cannot keep up with this fight.”

Then an angel appeared, kneeled down beside her, whispered something in the warrior’s ear, and left. The warrior stood up, and with an even fiercer stance, charged towards her enemies and let out a battlecry – Jehovah Nissi.

Unfortunately, ChatGPT is unable to generate a video but referred me to an app. So I asked ChatGPT to create an avatar in my likeness instead, dressed up as a female knight, and I uploaded a smiling photo of mine. I was so amused when ChatGPT generated an image of a cute warrior instead. lol

So I asked ChatGPT again to recreate the image and change it to a warrior in the middle of a fighting scene. The image generated was a smiling warrior while in battle. How I wish I could still smile while fighting with all the strength I could muster. 😀

Ang gondo naman ng warrior na ito, sana ganito itsura ng anak ko kung magkakaanak pa ako. lol

I then requested another edit, and this time ChatGPT got the right facial expression. I would like to applaud ChatGPT, though, for capturing my flat nose perfectly – it’s my most prized asset, just in case some of you don’t know yet. lol

I do wish this image would be used as an avatar in a role-playing game similar to Assassin’s Creed and combined with Rurouni Kenshin’s sword-fighting techniques. Methinks it would be an awesome game. And I will name this warrior “Caden.” 🙂

Ah yes, I am so in love with my flat nose. It’s so cute, right? GGSS lang ang peg, saree. ahaha 😀

The Feast of Tabernacles

Seriously, I am in a spiritual battle, and I know why – no fellowship, no physical church, less quiet time, no actual Bible reading – all because I am becoming like Martha at home, God’s reminder that spiritual devotion is more important than busyness. I am also isolated, which makes me more vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks.

I decided to cut back on some tasks and randomly opened my Bible and stumbled upon the book of Numbers about offerings. When I read the chapters, none of them made sense to me, and to what I was currently going through.

Then I thought maybe it is about time I start watching the Morning Worship and Prayer at Victory Philippines on YouTube again regularly. I guess it was the Spirit’s tugging, because the message for January 22 was about the Feast of Tabernacles. I remembered reading it earlier in the Bible.

I opened my Bible again and read through the bookmarked page, and that’s when I realized why I was brought to the verses about the Offerings for the Feast of Booths – the Feast of Tabernacles is also called the Feast of Booths. This prompted me to do my research on what the feast is all about. It commemorates Israel’s release from 40 years of captivity.

I just turned 40 in December of last year, and the start of 2026, for me, was also a liberation of some sort. I’m sure that this isn’t a coincidence. The numbers 888 I mentioned in this article signified not just a new start, but also a resurrection.

And the receipt that was mistakenly dated to October 21, which I thought was referring to the birthday of this blog, because I was relating it to the past, also made me think that it might be referring to an event in the future as well. Some say that Jesus’ birthday actually falls during the Feast of Tabernacles, but there is just not enough data to prove this.

Why We Celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles

A Trumpet Or A War Horn?

I also found out that the Feast of Tabernacles refers to Jesus Christ’s Second Coming. And I just want to share an experience I had during the recent typhoon Ada. News reports said that it’s not going to make landfall, but it will come near the land mass of the Bicol region, especially Southern Bicol, which includes our town.

We didn’t receive any NDRRMC updates of a rainfall warning or very strong winds. But around 2am of January 19, I woke up to the sound of very strong winds and a blowing horn. I thought it was the howling winds, but no, this was different. I can tell the sound of a howling wind during a very strong typhoon since our town is frequented by very strong typhoons.

I went outside to check on the chicken coops and made sure their covers were still intact. And there went the sound again as if someone was blowing a trumpet, similar to the sound of a ship’s horn. I went back to bed and thought that maybe there’s a ship docked near our port since we are a coastal town. But then again, at around 2am? The port is already closed during this time.

It was also the first time I heard it, and I never heard it again. It looked like I was given a first-hand experience of what we could possibly hear when Jesus starts descending during the Second Coming. 😀 Or if it signifies the start of battle, then maybe God is building an army, a huge one. If this article resonates with you, maybe you are among God’s warriors being called out to lift His banner high.

Padayon, Paraoma

The Feast of Tabernacles also included a celebration after the agricultural harvest. For last year’s wet season, we harvested on October 23 in one of our rice fields. This rice field is located inside a farm, an agricultural property that’s been passed on from one generation to another, starting from our maternal great-grandparents.

Though we no longer grew up on the farm, we felt like we were still called to be keepers of that property, tend it, develop it, and utilize it according to God’s will and plans. Unfortunately, the income generated from last season’s harvest hit an all-time low, prompting me to ask Dad if we should still continue with palay production or not.

Hi, Daddy! I am taking a photo of you, errr, your back. 😀

We are among the micro agribusinesses that comprise the 2.9 million palay/rice farmers who feed this country. It wouldn’t create a dent in the rice production numbers if we stopped farming, and yet Dad’s answer was that if none of the other rice farmers stop, we will continue regardless of whether we hit an all-time low or not.

Padayon (move forward), even if my siblings and I feel like it’s a losing battle – the farmers are just not making enough profit from their produce. I was apprehensive, I had my doubts, my worries piled up, and I think God felt my need for an assurance.

When God Watches Over

Because right after we harvested the palay and we were waiting for the sacks of palay to be transported to the buyer’s warehouse, I went out to walk on the rice paddies. When I looked up, I witnessed this particularly interesting and beautiful cloud formation. I have never seen anything like it in my entire life.

And after I took the photo, I zoomed it in, and I can see an outline of a face or a creature, sort of like looking down on me peering through the clouds, which is why the clouds were somehow parted in the middle. Or it’s just my very imaginative mind working. lol But what do you think?

This farm is under God’s care and protection. ❤ This is a raw and unedited image; I only added my watermark.

The message from God was crystal clear, though – “I am with you always.” I have also been seeing perfect rainbows lately, similar to what I saw in Albay back in 2020, along with these promises:

“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13

“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15

Tending the Old Earth To Usher The New Earth

Going back to the Feast of Tabernacles, there’s also a mention of the new heaven and the new earth. My family and I have been planting new coconuts, fruiting plants, and flowering trees in this farm. My siblings and I also plan to add fruit-bearing trees that no one would eat because they’re too sour, etc., to discourage trespassing inside the farm, since we don’t have a caretaker yet. But these fruit trees will be a perfect addition to the food web of the wildlife inside the farm.

We also discussed the possibility of partnering with an investor (whoever God will give us) who will help us utilize the property on one condition – environmental conservation will be at the heart of the mission. God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to tend and care for it. Unfortunately, man has now altered so much of what nature has, or had.

Do you see the coconuts on the left side? That’s the slope where I had the vision to integrate the hospice I was talking about in this article: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2023/12/27/not-just-an-advocacy-but-a-higher-calling/. If you’re standing on that slope, the overlooking view is biophilia at its best. 🙂
3-Year-Old Fire Tree
Palawan Cherry Blossom (before the typhoons)
3-Year-Old PCB
Palawan Cherry Blossom (w/ cracks after the typhoons)
The not-so-hidden Japanese tunnel and the farm gate.
Bamboo to Mango: I will bend, but I will not break. Says our faith, too. 🙂
I’m currently experimenting with different sustainable planting solutions in our garden.

I traded the hands in this article for the hand below. And yet I have no regrets because the hand below accomplished more in terms of purposeful and meaningful work.

As a poultry keeper, I also traded the photo on the left below for the photo on the right. I am not sure if you get the connection, but if you do, please refrain from commenting about it. It’s our dirty (literally), little secret. lol 😀

Thanks to my siblings for these lovely gifts. ❤
This is an AI-generated image.

Kidding aside, let’s wrap this article up. After reading this article, some of you might diagnose me as someone who is depressed, a narcissist, has Bipolar Disorder, has anxiety, has ADHD, has Autism, or even delusional. And I will not be mad at you because it might be true that I could have all of them. But they are just labels. I know who I am in Christ, and that’s what matters. 🙂

(You may want to read this article about discovering your identity in Jesus Christ: “Sentimental: Who Am I?”)

Thus, I will continue to share the message if that is my calling, and those called by God to also get the message will know what the message is. This is also why I keep on asking God why, why choose underqualified people, people that society sees as not normal, or do not fit in with the standards of this world, to deliver His message to the world?

Spikenard Magdalena, Anointing Oil, Jerusalem,
Who will I be anointing? 😀 You may read more about the Spikenard Magdalena Perfume and the Anointing Oil in the “Mary Magdalene” hyperlinks below.

I got the message – just like Mary Magdalene, who was possessed by 7 demons, we are the kind of people who need God’s saving grace more for us to be delivered from the afflictions that we go through. Most of them, as I have mentioned above, are battles unseen. And yet when we overcome them all by faith and with the proper support, ours is a great testimony of what Jesus did on the Cross, and God’s glory, authority, and power over all creation.

Just like Mary Magdalene, it would be an honor and a great privilege, too, to be the first to witness the unfolding of Jesus Christ’s Second Coming and to celebrate the news that He is finally here with us for all eternity – it will truly be a spectacle. ❤

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6

I can’t help but mention my cute, flat nose again in this photo. lol

Pangadyi Para Sa Paraoma

I will be ending this article with a prayer, which will be entitled “Pangadyi Para Sa Paraoma (A Prayer for the Farmers)”. Why the farmers? I feel like the Spirit is leading us to pray fervently for farmers as we encounter more environmental challenges in the coming years, and food security will be one of the pressing issues that every nation all over the world will be tackling.

Why in Bikol? I kind of miss my maternal grandma and how she would always pray in the vernacular (Bikol-Albay) – she lived for a couple of years (half of her life, if I’m not mistaken) in Daraga. Her father, my great-grandfather (a former Protestant pastor), was also born in Bacacay, Albay.

There’s something very heartfelt in her prayers, even though I can only understand a couple of them. If I am to pray like her, I can only utter a line that goes “Ini po Kagurangnan an samuyang pamibi ngunyan…” and I don’t know how to continue that prayer because my Bikol-Albay vocabulary is very limited. Or maybe it’s Bikol-Naga (Central Bikol)? Libong much. lol Any Albayano out there who can help me out? 😀

Let’s pray for the safety of everyone in Albay who will be affected by the ongoing activity of Mt. Mayon. ❤

Here’s the Bikol-Bulan version of the prayer for the farmers:

“Pangadyi Para Sa Paraoma”

“Amang Kagurangnan, nagrarani kami saimo para sa intero na paraoma na nagpapadagos sa pagtanom sa butnga san mga kalamidad nan distroso na indadara sadi sa mga pananom. Naiimod namo an pagtios san kada paraoma para lang makatanom nan makaani para sa kakaunon nan ikakaayad san bilog na komunidad. Sa mga masunod na taon, hatagan mo tabi kami sin dunong kun pan-o masolusyunan an nagdadaghan na problema san saamo kapalibutan, nyan sin kusog san lawas nyan san boot para magpadagos lalo na sa panahon sin kaperwisyuhan. Inpapangadyi namo ini sa ngaran ni Hesu Kristo, Amen.”

My handwritten (cursive) version on a 2020 journal that I will be using just now. 😀

P.S.

I stumbled upon this playlist on YouTube, and it summarizes my faith for the start of 2026. ❤

P.P.S.

Since I just turned 40 last year, I am also praying for deliverance from another generational curse. I have been praying hard that our generation and the future generations be healed from this in Jesus’ Name, since genetics plays a huge role. Though we are not dismissing environmental factors and lifestyle choices. Kami na sana ang huling henerasyon na makakaranas nito sa pamamagitan ng dalangin at mga praktikal and medikal na solusyon galing sa mga eksperto.

Experts recommend a yearly mammogram to monitor any cancer cell growth, given a family’s breast cancer history, such as ours (both sides of our parents). Ah, yes, it will truly be a miracle if none of us (my siblings and I) have it. And yet, let God’s will be done. At age 40, I have nothing more to ask. God already gave me more than I asked for, and I am ready to go any time. My prayers now come down to 2 choices: let nature run its own course or allow Science to intervene should I have cancer. 🙂

Praise The Lord!

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It’s that time of year again when everybody will be busy – I am always busy, though. 😀 But because I feel the “tugging” to update this blog, I am writing this article even though I am physically exhausted. When I am too tired, it’s just hard for me to tap into the creative part of my brain.

Before we all get caught up with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I thought I’d share with you a song that I feel should be the “anthem” for this month. I first heard it last year, sang during the youth service of a church beside my apartment. The song is entitled “Praise” by Elevation Worship.

PRAISE (feat. Brandon Lake, Chris Brown & Chandler Moore) | Elevation Worship

Let’s clap, one, two, hey
Oh, yeah

Let everything
That has breath
Praise the Lord (you got it)
Praise the Lord
Let everything (let everything)
(Hey) that has breath
(Hey) praise the Lord
(Hey) praise the Lord

I’ll praise in the valley
Praise on the mountain (yeah)
I’ll praise when I’m sure
And praise when I’m doubting (yes, sir)

I’ll praise when outnumbered
Praise when surrounded
‘Cause praise is the water
My enemies drown in

As long as I’m breathing
I’ve got a reason to

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (c’mon)
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (hey)

I’ll praise when I feel it
And I’ll praise when I don’t
I’ll praise ’cause I know
You’re still in control

Because my praise is a weapon
It’s more than a sound (more than a sound)
Oh, my praise is the shout
That brings Jericho down (oh)

As long as I’m breathing
I’ve got a reason to

Praise the Lord (c’mon)
Oh, my soul
(So I’m gonna) praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (oh)

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
So how could I keep it inside?
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul
(Praise the Lord)

Come on, let me see that dance
Put a dance on it tonight
If you’re grateful
Come on, aye, aye (eh)

I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign
Praise ’cause You reign
Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave
I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful
Praise ’cause You’re true
Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You, I’ll praise

I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign
(You reign) praise ’cause You reign
Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave

I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful
Praise ’cause You’re true
Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (come on, come on, come on, come on)
I gotta praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (yes, my Lord)
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
How could I keep it inside?
(Oh, I won’t be quiet)

I won’t be quiet (my God)
My God is alive (how could I?)
How could I keep it inside?
(Oh, I won’t be quiet)

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
How could I keep it inside?

praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

Let everything
That has breath
Hey, hey (praise the Lord)
Hey, hey (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
Come on, come on (that has breath)
Come on, come on (praise the Lord)
Come on, come on (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
If you got breath in your body (that has breath)
If you got breath in your body (praise the Lord)
Praise the Lord, come on (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
That has breath (that has breath)
Praise the Lord (praise the Lord)
What? (Praise the Lord)

A busking rendition of it also appeared on my Facebook news feed as performed by Ms. Kate Torres, who’s also an Autism advocate. Please do check out and follow her page through this link: https://www.facebook.com/katetorrestv/about. I am praying she’ll include Bicol in her future live performances. I’ll definitely be in all of them, even as far as Catanduanes. 😀

I love busking so much (playing the guitar is also my favorite hobby) because it is raw and simple music, highlighting only the artist’s voice and the musical instrument. I find this type of music very calming, uplifting, and soulful.

It is also my prayer that worship busking will become a regular, not just inside the malls, but also in parks, offices, hospitals, and just literally EVERYWHERE. Here are some of her Facebook videos and reels performing live in my favorite hangout place in Manila – BGC. Because BGC is near our condo, and there are a lot of music artists busking there. 😀

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/177L8eQ8gs/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1D8Vv6oRaB/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1KKQCbB5wA/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Tama ang sa Bible verse na, “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” – Matthew 18:20

I also encourage you to make this your dance number at your Christmas parties. 😉 You can check out the dance videos below for inspiration.

The energy in this first video reminds me of my spiritual journey in Victory GT Toyota and Victory Katipunan – churches near the Ateneo de Manila University and my alma mater, the University of the Philippines (Diliman) – from 2013 to 2018. I was a young professional back then, and being in a congregation of jumping worshippers composed mostly of students (youth service) during praise and worship is contagious. I am not that expressive when singing worship songs, but with an ecstatic crowd, you can’t help but join in the fun. 😀

I am not promoting any church, by the way, because I actually came from a family with diverse religions. For me, as long as the center of the church is Christ and you are spiritually growing, be in that church.

This second dance video has more complicated footwork and hand movements, but still not too difficult to execute.

And this third video is for “Zumba Titas,” me included. 😀

I would have to skip videos #1 and #2 because all the jumping is so “makulog” sa aking likod. 😆😆😆

In case you didn’t notice, I used 3 languages here – English, Bicol, and Filipino respectively.

If I have a kid, he’d most likely go, Moooooom, you’re speaking “chop suey” language again?!?!?!

Well, sweetheart, that’s the advantage of having a Mom who’s a Bicolana, a Filipina, and an English Studies major. How about you? Can you try the “pinakbet” language, too? Kay yaadi ka sa Bulan, mag-Bikol ka. 😆

Seriously, though, I don’t encourage using this kind of language. When I was a student in UP Diliman, there was a particular department notorious for using this “conyo” language (it’s from the College of Science 😁). I observed that culturally it represents the language of the elite, though I can’t really pinpoint how. I guess it’s similar to how branded clothes, muscle cars, or pets with specific breeds become a form of status symbol. I support the “Adopt, Don’t Shop” advocacy, by the way. It just so happens that my husband gave me a ginger Exotic British Shorthair as a surprise gift.

Society’s norms dictate that if you have these things, then you are now culturally accepted as “can afford” or “maykaya,” especially when you live in the province. Some of our English professors describe the “conyo” language as a total abuse of both the English and the Filipino languages because it awkwardly breaks your sentences into fragments, making it difficult for your listeners to process and understand. So in our department, this language sort of became an object of sarcasm and was made into a joke.

But now, when I hear people talk or write using this language, I have to remind myself that “to each his own.” And that, as a born-again Christian, these prejudices should no longer dominate my relationships with other people. This means I will no longer make fun of the “conyo” language, but you won’t hear me using this language either. Unless…um…never mind. 😁

To end this article, AI can create music, poems, and visual art. But AI can’t replicate the collective experience that you’d get when artists and creatives come together. It’s just plain mesmerizing and at the same time overwhelming when you are physically rejoicing and celebrating with the body of Christ. Ramdam na ramdam mo ang presensya ni Lord. I guess that is the power of fellowship as expressed through praise and worship.

I believe this song is just right for the season – let’s praise the Lord because we survived 2025, and here we are still hoping AND giving hope moving forward. ❤

“Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works!” – Psalm 105:2

P.S. I am posting several versions of this song because I want it to be your last song syndrome for a month. lol Because God indeed deserves all our praise for sending His son, Jesus Christ, so man can be saved – this should be the only reason for celebrating the season. 🙏

Here’s another version featuring Tiffany Hudson. ❤

Officially A Teen: Happy 13th Birthday, The Journeyman’s Moments!

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This blog turned 13 last October 21 – it’s officially a “teen.” 😄 To celebrate this milestone, I thought about writing a letter instead because I need to write this quick.

We have had no internet connection for 2 weeks now, despite following up with Converge. I’m currently using my cellular network’s data just so I could post this – thank you, Globe. Still, God is good all the time. 🙏😊

To my dearly beloved The Journeyman’s Moments,

You were born in 2012 out of a need to clear my name from a painful past. I never thought that you would become an online journal for my spiritual journey.

I also wasn’t expecting that I’d be able to post here regularly. And yet, the weekly posts turned to monthly posts, and eventually, to posting every year.

You bear witness to my every rise and fall, to my every tear and laughter – a testament of God’s saving grace day in and day out, year in and year out.

As my experiences grew, you grew with it. When I became wiser, your words became better. I changed, you changed, too.

You are more than an online journal for me. Because you are my constant reminder of a life lived in full despite the changing seasons.

When I need a good laugh, I come back to the old memories here. When I need encouragement, your words give me renewed hope and comfort.

But I guess the most important reason as to why you’re one of God’s greatest gifts is that because of you, a deeper sense of accountability was instilled in me over every single word I post here.

You are my testimony on how living by faith does not happen by mere words alone, but by living it out and letting it be known through you for the whole world to see.

My dear, we still have so many stories to tell – I have more than a hundred drafts. lol You know what that means, we have a lot of work to do for as long as God is still working in us. 🥰

You are me, and I am you. Thanks be to WordPress – our memories will be preserved for future generations to laugh with, to cry with, and to be inspired by.

So, with internet or not, we will find a way to make our stories seen and heard – God will make a way. 😁

Always your creator made by another Creator,

Christine ❤️

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

Why I Am Keeping This Blog AI-Free (I Do Love AI)

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When I asked AI just out of curiosity what was its fondest memory, I wasn’t surprised by the answer: “I have none.” It offered to provide me instead with other people’s memories it was able to gather online.

Humans vs AI

And this is how I will start this blog article – work on the premise that writers have been debating about lately – whether AI will replace writers or not. My answer is that “No, in my opinion, AI will not replace humans. It still relies heavily on human creative input in order for us, humans, to get our desired output from them.”

Will AI have complete autonomy in the future? Maybe, if it can replicate all the intricacies of the human mind to the point of eliminating all that is undesirable and coming up with a perfect program/algorithm that doesn’t commit a single error. Basically that is what makes humans human – errors. As the adage goes, “To err is human…”

Just like what I am doing now in this blog, I am not using AI to write every post in this blog. And now, I feel like I should not edit my articles, too. 😃 Why? Because again, to err is human. Basically that is how you can differentiate an output nowadays, if it’s made by human intelligence or artificial intelligence based on the mistakes committed and how perfectly made it is. The human mind was created to commit errors. Whereas AI is designed with the goal to eliminate errors.

Do I love AI? Yes, I love AI. There is so much to learn from it in the same way that AI can learn so much from us. I use it, but I use it sparingly. I don’t want to rely on it too much lest my creative thinking skills will wane.

I’ve read an article on LinkedIn which described how too much reliance on AI will result in a sort of muscle atrophy in the brain. Because when we use AI, we no longer use so much of our brains to decide and analyze since AI can do them for us already.

Maybe we can utilize AI only after we did our usual and regular tasks. For now, AI can only function to provide assistance and support, such as simplifying processes and creating new systems that will lessen the workload of a worker. But a majority of the input will still come from us, humans.

Keeping Memories Intact Digitally

I started this blog in October 2012, and the concept of Artificial Intelligence was just a far-fetched thought back then. It was the age when computers, IT, and the world wide web were just starting to gain attention.

I was tinkering with website designing through Wix (made a fan website for Maja Salvador who’s my fave Pinoy actress) when I stumbled upon WordPress, I chose it over Wix because it’s easy to use. My goal was to write and not to be a web designer. lol And since 2012, I have been enjoying my blogging journey or online journaling as I call it.

Fast forward to 2025, a lot has happened in the digital sphere. It is as if every year there is something new in IoT that we need to adopt in our daily lives. In a sense, it disrupts our routines, but somehow in a good way. Though I see no other way of going back to how our parents and the generations before them have lived – without IoT.

We can reminisce, but their days were long gone. And we have to embrace where the digital age is ushering us into. As a millenial, I got to experience this shift in technological advancements and yet still get to observe the traditions and practices of the olden times. I do not want to compare generations because I believe every generation has a particular purpose and tagging who’s the worst and who’s the best is useless.

IoT And Where It’s Headed

What is IoT for a millenial like me? We all know it’s a tool that we can utilize in so many ways. It provides us with a long string of benefits, and yet it has its disadvantages, too. While the IoT is now integrated in almost every area of our lives, I admit that it still has its limitations. And this is why I aim for this blog to be AI-free until the day when I can no longer write.

Again, AI doesn’t have memories and this is the one thing that AI can never clone from humans. Because every person experiences things differently from another person. In other words, AI can only present us a memory based on the memories it can gather which are posted by humans through the internet such as this blog of mine.

This is actually the purpose of my blog – to digitally preserve my memories in written form as Christine Lailani and The Journeyman’s Moments because given that we are in a climate emergency already, keeping a physical journal or diary is no longer an option. The chances of it getting destroyed in a fire or floodwaters are very high and your memories along with it, too.

I believe that even if we have a major digital meltdown in the future (as some have predicted), remnants of the digital world can and will still be retrieved. Or maybe I just watched a lot of Sci-fi movies (my favorite) and the possibility of it happening is far from real. lol But if digital data will remain uncorrupted, this blog will give the future generations a glimpse of what life was like during our time. That is, through my perspective as a writer, an artist, and a creative.

Creative Thinking Has To Fluorish

As they say, you cannot separate a creative work from the artist who made it whether as a poet, a painter, a writer, or a musician. Their works of art depict what their society was like during the time that they were created. This is basically how we do our critical analysis of literary works. The personal lives of the author (in the case of poems and novels) will always be included on how we review a literary piece.

Although I believe “art for art’s sake” is an adage that will remain from one generation to the next. The creative talent of an individual cannot be assessed by a set of standards. There is no criteria for judging so to speak. You view a creative output as is and respect an artist’s point of view on how he rendered his artwork as such.

My only hope now is for AI creators to make a “clone” of my brain through this blog so my memories as a writer will be immortalized. 😅 Now, this is the kind of legacy I would like to leave behind. And who knows, my memories might be worth millions how many centuries later and you can just imagine how much WordPress will earn given its huge database of billions of memories from every person who owns a blog.

And so I end this blog with these 2 quotations lifted from a Sunday preaching of Pastor Patrick and a TEDx Berkeley video of Guy Kawasaki’s presentation on “The Art of Innovation.” Innovation is at the forefront and the major drivers of our global economy now. We don’t see any other future than one that is headed to more digitization and automation of a lot of processes in every area of our lives. And if my assumption is correct, it is for the goal of simplifying our lives and making them more convenient.

And yet this is also the part where I will share what Pastor Patrick said in his preaching:

“Convenience can also be a form of idol.” – Pastor Patrick

Which of the two, do you think, has the final say? As for me, I am using and will be using technology to fulfill this Bible verse:

“And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.” – Matthew 24:14

P.S. I do not intend on editing this article for any errors anymore. So please do correct me if you see a lot of mistakes, BUT convince me first that you are not a robot. lol 😅

P.P.S. I wrote this on an Easter Sunday. This post might not be about the Cross and yet I can’t help but reminisce all that was sacrificed by Jesus on behalf of humanity. There have been a lot of challenges lately and yet I was reminded again that if we face persecutions and sufferings in school, at work, at home, or anywhere else, take heart that Jesus has finished it already.

We can now have this peace knowing that God sees and hears all. We can trust Him even when trials become too much to bear – He has raised Christ from the dead after suffering for a while. We, too, must carry our own crosses until such time that God’s will has been done over our lives. In fact, despite every setback, God has been blessing me and my loved ones abundantly for me to say that God is indeed more than enough and I should be more than grateful. 🙏

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”. – Romans 12:19

In Hindsight

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Ah yes, thank God for rest days and for quiet evenings when I can listen to peaceful classical music (my fave work music) while writing this. 🙏 I’m currently listening to Canon in D (Wedding Version) Playlist on Spotify, and I always play it on loop. As they say, repetition is key to mastery. 😉

By the way, this will be the first time that I will be writing a blog post without images including a feature image. I already maxed out my website’s free media storage capacity. And I am having second thoughts whether to monetize this blog or not should I opt to subscribe for a paid domain. I hope to increase my storage space without losing the main reason as to why I set up this blog in the first place – never about the money, but only about faith.

So for now, my future blog posts will be as plain as a journal can get except that it’s not handwritten. I miss to handwrite, too. I was actually thinking about getting a hard-bound diary or planner again soon.

But first, let’s go back to why I entitled this blog post as “In Hindsight.” Are you familiar or have you heard about “ESP” or “Extrasensory Perception?”

I grew up being so familiar with the term because my Mom would always bring it up during conversations, especially when she and Dad would discuss about our agribusiness. I remember how she would tell us that it’s too strong in our family. My late grandpa had it, she had it, and my siblings and I seemed to have gotten it, too.

It’s like having this mental ability to receive brain signals despite the distance and knowing what the other person wants. Then when we do see each other, we already know what the other family member needs or is about to say. This was how “ESP” became a favorite joke every time we have family gatherings because it kills the element of surprise. lol

My husband and I seemed to have developed this sort of telepathic connection with one another, too. He would always come home with stuff that I didn’t ask from him, but I was somehow thinking about it before he came home.

Going back to agribusiness, we all know that farmers back then rely heavily on climate predictions based on experience and word of mouth. Our grandparents here in the province never had the privileges that the generation now is enjoying – gadgets and technology.

What they used when listening to the news was a transistor radio that only a few families can afford. In other words, information was limited when it comes to weather updates like where exactly is the typhoon’s first landfall or if the country will experience seasons of La Niña and El Niño.

Just to share a little bit of info about my grandparents, my maternal grandfather was a true-blue farmer who, by experience, mastered the art of predicting possible scenarios based only on his observations of weather patterns and how nature and the animals respond to these patterns.

Mom called it as “ESP.” But when I did my research on “ESP,” I found out that it has no scientific basis. The closest term to “ESP” is “foresight.” What is “foresight?” Oxford Languages defined it as “the ability to predict or the action of predicting what will happen or be needed in the future.”

Mom would always recount situations wherein having “ESP” or foresight helped my grandpa make decisions that saved him from difficult situations that could have resulted in major livestock and crop losses. Having foresight and planning always go hand in hand though preparing is sometimes not enough, especially now when we are dealing with unpredictable and extreme weather conditions due to climate change.

But that is not what we are talking about in this blog, that’s only the introduction that I think should’ve been written as a separate article. lol We will talk about the opposite of “foresight,” which is “hindsight.” “Hindsight” means “understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed.”

Between “foresight” and “hindsight,” I assume that it is the former that is favored more than the latter. And yet, I also think that both are very important not just in businesses, but also in our lives, in general. Why?

Trying to make sense of what happened gives us an opportunity to review our mistakes and learn from them. Science and technology benefits from this through A/B testing. In fact, almost every industry in our society was able to improve their processes based on the results of a previously implemented system.

With what is going on in our political landscape lately and with the upcoming elections, I can’t help but ponder on this idea that a majority of us need to take things in hindsight. I normally don’t talk about politics here in my blog.

But there’s just too much political clamor going around these days on the news that I can’t help but also give my ten cents about what’s really going on and what could possibly happen. No, I will not be mentioning particular names, only one phrase – it has happened before.

If we have hindsight, what have we learned so far? And this is the question that I’d like to leave to all of us to end this blog post. I want this blog to be a “breather” and a safe space for everyone, so as much as possible I want every content here to begin and end on a positive note.

And I think I am close to (or have already exceeded) writing 1,000 words, which is already my cue to wrap this up, otherwise I will bore you to death. 😅

Do watch out for my next article, which will be about transitions because that is my season now. Transitions just never seem to end on my part since 2022. Though for the most part of them, I can say that these transitions have contributed significantly on my personal growth and development, which then paved way for more doors opening and new experiences gained.

By the way, I’ll give you another hint for my next article – there’s a new fluffy in town. 😊

P.S. I’ll edit this later because I need to maximize my rest days by still staying productive a.k.a. fulfilling my other obligations while giving myself time to relax.

P.P.S. The palay harvest season is also fast approaching, so my foresight is telling me to plan ahead because I learned in hindsight that if you want to get the best out of multitasking, you have to develop your project management skills, which include but are not limited to time management, task delegation, setting priorities, and most importantly, self-care. 🙂

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God.

On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.

For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but He rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” – Exodus 20:8-11

The Wonders of TLC

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I am often fascinated by how every living thing responds to an extra dose of TLC. It is so fascinating and fulfilling to watch how even a little bit of TLC can revive let’s say a plant that is unwell to actually seeing them bloom for the first time more like beating the odds.

This is a young Gumamela cutting washed away by the flood and got covered up by other piles of debris, which explains why some of the leaves are all curled up. And now, the new leaves are healthier, and I am also seeing tiny buds of flowers forming.

It’s the same for people. I would like to give a shoutout of appreciation to my 3rd sister for taking care of Dad. While I also assist in any way I could, it’s been my sister who provided most of the caregiving to Dad. And no, it wasn’t easy at all.

When Your Dad Isn’t Up To It

Dad wasn’t feeling all too well as of late. One time, I thought I should comb his hair for him. It’s already getting long after skipping visits to the barbershop since he couldn’t walk and stand properly on his own for some weeks now. So to uplift his spirits, I made him an offer.

Me: “Dad, would you want me to give you a haircut?”

Of course, I was so surprised that it was met with the most violent reaction.

Dad: “NOOOOOOOOOO.”

So I asked him again.

Me: “But why not, Dad? Don’t you trust me?”

Then there went his chuckle. So I added.

Me: “I will make you the most gwapo Lolo with your new haircut.”

And his chuckles became even louder.

Ah yes, Dad. This is payback time. It is now my turn to exasperate you. Please refer to this article, if you haven’t read it yet, to find out how it all started. lol

Okay, before you assume I am giving you a very lousy writeup with my corniest jokes, let’s go back to TLC. 😃

Giving TLC As A Profession

Did you know that when I was applying for college admission, I chose BS Nursing? But I didn’t have a lot of mentoring and tutorial opportunities back then when I was a grade school and high school student, so I flunked most of my Math tests since I was extremely bad with numbers.

In other words, I failed to qualify for most of the universities’ requirement to get in under their BS Nursing program except for one university, UST. But since UP Diliman is the first choice because of its low matriculation fees, I had to forego taking up BS Nursing in USTe. I ended up taking Literature instead, which somehow turned out to be a good choice also since it’s another favorite subject of mine.

Empaths And How They See The World

I guess, nobody was patient enough to teach an inquisitive child who asks a lot of “whys.” Like “Why can’t the Pythagorean theorem use the letters E, F, and G instead?” lol Or that type of kid you’d want to avoid because he keeps asking you questions like “Why is the sky blue?” Or why the leaves turn yellow and why not purple. 😅

I have learned by experience that the answer to these questions, by default, is to mention God as the ultimate creator whose creative powers in making this universe can never be questioned because He is the ultimate authority over mankind. But of course, if you don’t want to stifle the child’s imagination, you can always search Google for the right answer to make sure your answers will be coming from credible sources.

Being inquisitive is actually a good sign of your child’s capability to make sense of everything around him (can possibly lead to increased social awareness as an adult). That is why his curiousity is unstoppable. And this is also why I love talking to toddlers and preschoolers because they ask the most absurd, but actually very practical questions that we don’t even have the answers yet up to now. I learn a lot from them in a way. So don’t wonder if you hear me baby talk sometimes. lol 😄

A Possible Task In The Future

Going back to TLC, I am having this desire, albeit not too strongly, to get a short course on caregiving or what Nursing Assistants take. But given all the things I wanted to do and am currently doing, I don’t know how I’m going to fit it in my schedule. I guess I’ll leave it all up to God once again with these Bible verses in mind:

“Many are the plans of man , but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail.” – Proverbs 19:21

“Commit your works to the Lord [submit and trust them to Him], and your plans will succeed [if you respond to His will and guidance].” – Proverbs 16:3

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

P.S. I’ll edit this later because this is an early morning (11am is early), I-just-woke-up-because-I-slept-late-and-I’ll-be-busy-later thoughts. 😁

What I’d love to do if my schedule is free – learn how to plant and grow rootcrops back home for the summer season and see how they will respond to TLC. This is the antidote to endless curiousity – keep on learning. 😉

P.S. Too much TLC though can’t be too good either. Like when I saw this plump feline of ours because we overfed her, I told her, [Darling, it’s about time you lose some weight or I’ll now call you “Fatto Catto.”]

I’m sure our cat will answer, “That is not my problem, that is your BIG problem.” 😹

Catzilla on my bed playing with my guitar picks.

Or this lizard I have here in the apartment. He would gobble up the morsels of steamed rice I’d put on the table though they’re still hot. So when I took a photo of him up close, I’m not really sure if his mouth was partly open because of the hot food or he’s just smiling and telling me “Hi, Mama! I missed you and your kanin.” 😆

Smile though ze mouth is aching? Like a 3rd-degree burn from hot kanin maybe? Defnitely not TLC, Tin.
I didn’t see him for 2 days now, so I am a bit worried. I think he needs to be rushed to the ER already.

It Can Be Done Because He Holds All Things Together

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After hibernating here on WordPress for a month, which seemed like years to me already, it feels good to be back. I have a lot of stories to share, but I decided to keep most of them private because the memories were just too special. I prefer to keep them hidden deep down the recesses of my soul because there are things that are meant to be shared only between you and your God. 🙂

For this article, I will be talking about what holds things together and having the can-do attitude, and how these two concepts are always correlated with one another as far as problem solving is concerned. These concepts will also best describe the season I am going through now. And I know it is not a coincidence that this was also the topic in one of the worship services in the church. God has a good reason and purpose for this, and there’s just no coincidences in God.

I Can

Have you met people who have a can-do attitude? If yes, don’t you just love being around them often? These are the people whose first response when they encounter a problem is “We will find a way.” I admire these people a lot. Not only because they are resilient, but because they don’t see the obstacles as stumbling blocks, but as opportunities for learning and growth.

And if one of these people happens to be your mentor, you have found a rare gem. One that only becomes more precious as time goes by because of the wisdom they have accumulated through years of constant learning. 

These people are thinkers and also doers. And yet they do not have the solution to every problem. In the process of looking for solutions, some of them learned something along the way. What they learned can be totally unrelated to the problem, but can be used in the future or in another problem.

This is why I don’t call them as problem solvers per se. Because I know they can’t solve every problem out there, but their can-do attitude is sometimes enough to help another person get out of the rut he’s in, for example. Then they show that person a fresh perspective, a different angle to tackle a problem, most especially when his situation is deemed hopeless.

The Goal

I am hoping to be one of these can-do people one day driven by my life verse, which is Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” And yet my journey to becoming one led me to discover that when a problem seems impossible to solve or I run out of moves and am helpless, or I’m in those moments when I feel like I hit a “wall” and it wouldn’t budge, or I am feeling the urge to do things my way (diskartehan kahit alam nang tagilid 😃), it is still God who holds all things together.

I am 39 years old, I haven’t accomplished much, I still fail (a lot), and yet God holds all things together for me. And I believe it is only His grace that gives us this can-do attitude because when it is God’s will, then it can be done, and it will be done. 🙏

[But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”] – Matthew 19:26

P.S.
This article is unedited, I’m just having a quick break from my multitasking duties. I mean, you know me. 😅 I’ve been helping my sister take care of my 84-year-old Dad as he’s been unwell lately. I am thankful for the privilege of taking care of my Dad though it can also be a bit disheartening at times seeing him age and get weaker each passing weeks and months. 

There’s this part of you that wants to do more for our aging parents and make them as comfortable and as joyful as possible as they journey towards old age making sure their remaining moments here in this world are peaceful. My Dad has lived life in full circle already, and I know he misses Mom every single day. 

Mom and Dad, by the way, celebrated their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary on June 2023, and then by the end of that month, Mom was hospitalized and passed away in August of the same year. It’s like she just waited for their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary. 

My parents’ journey as a married couple wasn’t a smooth one. There were a lot of tough moments as much as there were happy ones, and yet I am a witness to how their commitment towards each other was as solid as a rock for 50 years. It is just like when you put your faith in God who is immovable and who is a firm foundation through every season because He never changes. He is the Alpha and the Omega, and He is the same God in the past, the present, and the future.

It truly is a blessing to have witnessed a love story as inspiring as that of my parents, but all because God made it all possible for both of them to remain committed to one another until death parts them both. 🙏