Tag Archives: hope

My Sentiments About Having A Child: Family Life

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My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now. We don’t have kids for reasons that only God knows. But honestly, in those 5 years, hubby and I never felt burdened by the fact that we were never blessed with kids (yet).

In fact, after we had our respective checkups, we accepted that God has a good plan behind it. These are plans that are beyond our control and yet what they demand from us is to continue seeking His counsel every single day as to what to do.

To receive the bad news that our best chances to have kids is thru IUI is far more bearable to take than accepting some of the people’s sentiments around us about our ordeal. 😀 I thank God for our families though because they treated it as something that we shouldn’t be pressured about at all.

Dealing With Social Stigma

Yes, I’ll be pretty honest. Hubby is not completely open to the idea of me sharing this. But I told him that we have to let people around us know to avoid all those awkward moments during reunions and children’s birthday parties about questions when we are going to have kids.

They would ask us casually and yet I told hubby that we can’t blame them since they don’t know exactly what we’re going through. They don’t know the visits to the doctor for our checkups and about being brave enough to endure the medical instruments inserted and injected here and there. They have no idea about how nervous we are as to what the doctor’s findings are and all the financial expenses involved.

IUI vs IVF

An IUI (intrauterine insemination) is different from IVF (in vitro fertilization) in a way that the IUI works by injecting the semen inside the uterus. Fertilization still occurs inside the uterus, while for IVF, the egg is harvested from the uterus and the fertilization takes place in the laboratory. Once the procedure is a success, the fertilized egg will be inserted back to the uterus.

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Photo credit: Pixabay – Pexels

I am not afraid of the physical pain nor am I worried about financial resources. I have faith that if God wills it my husband and I will have kids through any kind of medical procedure, He will provide the means, the courage, and the right time to have it.

Complete Faith All The Way

I just can’t help but admire my husband so much in this season – his courage, his strength, his nonchalance, and his faith. It seems like he displays the character of a devout Christian more than I do. And yet it’s ironic that it is me who claims to have such great faith. 😀

There are some couples going through similar situations such as ours who would get offended when asked by friends and relatives when they’re going to have a baby. Again, we also have to understand that the reason they ask is that they know nothing about our struggles in this journey.

So I told my husband that to break this negative mentality (considered as taboo) when it comes to infertility and the inability to conceive, we have to let those around us be aware of our predicament. Involve them in this difficult season in our marriage by asking them to pray for us and letting them know what exactly we need.

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Photo credit: Andreas Wohlfahrt – Pexels

Sharing to Encourage Others

My husband is partially against this. He said it is too personal. And yet I have a different urge from the Spirit on how to treat the situation. I explained that yes, it is too personal. But God may be using our situation as a testimony of our faith in Him and His saving grace.

And that by sharing our faith in this journey, we could also encourage other couples who are going through the same struggles. Maybe it is through us that they get to know who God is, for one. As typical of my husband, he will concede once he realizes that there is indeed no harm done re a particular intent that I have. 😀 And if he knows I am doing it with the Spirit’s leading.

I pray that all the couples out there who are like us will see this predicament not as a curse but an opportunity to display God’s power. It is also an avenue to show our complete faith and trust in God, alone, that even though we have no assurance as to what will happen, we will still choose to believe in Him. Husbands and wives can also use these trying times to strengthen their bond as a couple even more.

Facing Trials Head-on

This is an unfavorable season that my husband and I cannot avoid. We have to face it head-on with the courage, strength, peace, and wisdom that God gives us. We can’t avoid attending reunions and kids’ birthday parties just so we can avoid being asked the dreaded question.

It also helps us to be open about our situation giving us freedom from any feelings of bitterness, discontentment, insecurity, and hatred because of it. The sooner we accept the fact that God is in control and that what we can only do is to act according to His instructions, the lesser the burden and the more at peace we’ll become.

For those who lost unborn babies and who can never have a baby, it’s almost the same, though the gravity of their situation is even greater. As much as I would like to empathize with them, I know it is not enough. I know I can only offer them prayers that may they still find the courage to continue hoping in God’s beautiful promises despite these heartbreaking moments. ❤

You Have Been Wonderfully Made

To all the couples out there, it is time to break this silence. Because this is what the enemy will use to cripple us through bouts of depression, restlessness, guilt, shame, and unhappiness. Don’t let him make you think of yourself as less than perfect, that something is wrong with the way you were created.

No, don’t believe these lies. Don’t let the enemy win. Don’t let it consume you. We have all been fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. God may be perfect, but we are still a work in progress. We are all imperfect. We all lack something. God is not yet done with us and it is only Him who can blot out those imperfections in us when the right time comes.

Be Free

I pray that all the couples out there who are going through similar trials will be released from this stronghold of the enemy. Be free my brothers and sisters, for it is your faith that will heal you and save you from this struggle.

We just always have to remember that God is always with us no matter what. So we must never stop believing that He knows what is good for us in the long run. Trusting Him completely is the key. 🙏

“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” – Hebrews 10:39

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:11

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:13

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7

A wife waiting contentedly and happily,

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P.S. I’ll just share this song, which my group and I got through draw lots, during our ‘Making Disciples’ class in our church back in 2014.

This post just reminded me about it – being BRAVE enough to break norms by saying what you want to say. 👍🙂

Featured Image: Caleb Oquendo – Pexels

Learning From The Marriage Of Hosea | A 4th Year Wedding Anniversary Special

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Hello, everyone! This has long been overdue because August, for me, was the busiest month. I had to juggle several responsibilities at the same time. I thank the Lord, though, because when September ushered in, I was able to “breathe a little.” Thus, this article. 😉

I am writing this blog post to commemorate our 4th year wedding anniversary last month. Hubby and I celebrated it with a simple dinner and some well-deserved pampering.

I guess that’s what really happens when you’re getting older. Any free time you get, you would rather choose to spend it by resting. 😀 We do hang out, though, with our families and friends every now and then just to maintain balance.

Why Hosea?

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I encountered the story of Hosea in the Love Dare book lent to me by my Victory group leader last year when I was going through tough times in my marriage. I diligently followed every dare in the book, and there were times a dare would move me to tears because I was so convicted.

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How could I not know the right way to respond as a Christian wife in the relational conflicts between me and my husband?

The book just laid bare everything vulnerable, crooked, and imperfect inside me. With them all exposed, however, I was able to deal with the real issues behind some of the conflicts I had with my husband.

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One of them is fear. I was so driven by it that little did I know the enemy is already using it against me and my husband to his advantage and to destroy God’s beautiful promises for us. It’s just timely that this year’s wedding anniversary reminded me once again of our Bible verse during our wedding back in 2015:

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.” – 1 John 4:18

Next, it was lack of faith. While doing the dare, there were instances where I felt a part of me was wrestling against doing it.

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What I discovered is that I wasn’t humble enough as I claim to be, and there is still pride lurking deep down. I still relied on my own efforts when dealing with tough relational issues instead of trusting God, for one.

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The Love Dare book didn’t just reveal parts of me that I needed to work on, but it also showed me how to better appreciate my spouse and his efforts to make our marriage work. I am sure you are curious by now to find out if it indeed resulted in a more positive and healthy relationship between me and my husband.

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I can say that it did, for the most part, and yet for the majority of the changes, they did not happen overnight. They all required a great deal of discipline in order to see satisfying results. I am just grateful that both my husband and I are willing to work on our marriage regardless of the amount of effort and sacrifice it requires. Yes, we are still a work in progress, and God is definitely not done with us yet.

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When I did the dares in the book, I decided not to wait for my husband to change first before I follow suit. If he does or doesn’t change, that is between him and God. But God’s calling for me is that I change now.

Will I recommend the book?

Definitely.

I am sure any husband or wife out there can relate with every dare in the book 100%, and if you’re going through rough seasons in your marriage, I highly recommend it. It’s also included in the Fireproof movie hubby and I watched a couple of years ago. I already have an idea of what the book was all about, but doing the dares, yourself, is an entirely different case.

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Who is Hosea?

Hosea, in the Bible, is a prophet who was called by God to marry a prostitute. The story revolves around the prophet’s obedience to God in the midst of adultery, which was prevalent in God’s people during those times.

After getting married and having children, Hosea’s wife left him and unfortunately went back to prostitution. This was a very heart-wrenching experience to the prophet. It extremely tore him apart and yet, God asked him to do the most difficult task – ask her to return to him as his wife.

After leaving Hosea and going back to prostitution, Gomer (Hosea’s wife), got herself into undesirable circumstances and was sold as a slave. Hosea, though, still loves her. So, when God instructed Hosea to buy his wife back, he obeyed. He dismissed his own pain as seeing her would probably mean bringing back all the hurt of her leaving him and her sexual promiscuity with different men.

Gomer was full of remorse when Hosea bought her, but he did it on one condition – that she will completely let go of her past sins as a prostitute and repent.

What can we learn from Hosea?

God used the marriage of Hosea to Gomer as a representation of His unending love for His people despite their sinfulness and disobedience. God will continue to make all efforts to bring His people back to Him because that is what He is, He is love.

And there’s just no greater avenue to display the love of God than in a marriage. 1 Corinthians 13 portrays who God is as love, but there are other passages in the Bible that also describe what love ought to be such as loving your enemies and your neighbors as yourself.

The Lesson Of Hosea In A Marriage

When we love our enemies whom we don’t have a close relationship with, we sure can deal with it easily. But in a marriage, it is a tad more difficult and requires greater faith and more grace. To share one roof and sleep beside your enemy is already challenging enough. What more to love whom you disdain every single day?

Yes, there will be times in your marriage wherein you’ll feel you married your worst enemy. Your spouse can be your worst enemy because he/she knows so much about your weaknesses that nobody else does. And yet it doesn’t have to be that way if you choose to see your spouse in a different light.

This is where we can apply the lesson of Hosea’s love story. Just as God will choose to give chances to His people no matter how grave their sins are, then we, too, should do the same. When we were called to be married, God called us to love our spouses just like what Hosea did.

Every Marriage Was Orchestrated By God

I don’t believe in coincidences nor the idea that God does things based on trial and error just like in marriages. I believe that every marriage was orchestrated by God for us to fulfill a certain task. We are the only ones who can determine what these tasks are when we ask God sincerely and devote ourselves to obeying Him and His instructions completely.

Whether our marriages are failing, surviving, or thriving, God has a purpose for it, and this purpose will vary depending on each and every couple. My purpose in my marriage might be different than Hosea’s or any married couple out there. But they all have one goal – to display God’s unending love because that is who He is and that is who He wants us to know and follow.

This is why I don’t judge married couples whether they have God-centered marriages or not for now. Through the story of Hosea, I have surmised that we are not in the position to judge whether a marriage will last or not or decide for a person who he/she must marry. Because every marriage will go through seasons and in these seasons, God will use circumstances to fulfill His greater plans.

It Is A Calling

A marriage is a calling. The choice to marry a person doesn’t merely happen by chance, and it isn’t based on our own free will alone. God also has a hand in it. When I was single, I would read articles on who to marry or what is the type of guy/girl who will fit your personality. And yet reading the story of Hosea changed my perspective on relationships and marriages. It called for an understanding beyond legalism and pre-set doctrines that the world has dictated.

The Bible did state to never be yoked with an unbeliever. My interpretation, however, is that it should be taken with a grain of salt, and it depends on a case-to-case basis. What if the same calling similar to Hosea’s happens now in our generation? As a church, we can only respond to it with prayers. We can never judge because we don’t know what God has planned for a certain couple.

All we know is that it is in a marriage that God calls us to exhibit the greatest of them all – LOVE. We should always remember, too, that no marriage is ever a failure in God’s eyes as long as we seek His counsel on how to run our marriages. 🙂

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Always the goofy husband, when he’s in the mood. lol 😉

Called by God to be a Christian wife in every circumstance,

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Why Bicol Region Might Just Be The Best Place To Invest In Come 2020 Onward

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Hello, everyone! Nope, I haven’t forgotten at all to write anything here on WordPress. I just had a lot of things going on in the past weeks. God, however, never fails to remind me because though I was inactive for more than a month already, I still keep on getting blog “Follows” and post “Likes.”

Thank you, all, for dropping by my site and showing your love. May you be blessed as you read along and God’s revelations be known to you as well. ❤

From A Promise-Keeper To Another Promise-Keeper

I bet God’s reminder to me through all of you is His way of saying, “My child, don’t forget the promise you made back in 2013 when I saved you that you will make this online journal a testimony of your spiritual journey.” 😀

Yes, Lord. I haven’t forgotten at all. In fact, I now have 64 drafts. Some of them are half-finished while some drafts contain only one word to remind me about the theme of the story.

I originally came up with an editorial calendar to make publishing on a regular basis way easier. But, I guess that it is not how God really intended it to be since I write based on the Spirit’s leading, and it has always been this way ever since I started this blog.

Anyway, let me end the long intro here and start today’s topic, which is one of the reasons why I was hibernating here on WordPress – the family business in Bicol.

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How the Rice Tarrification Law is Affecting the Rice Farmers Now

In my previous article entitled “The Role of Climate Change and Rice Tarrification Law in Rice Production: Agri Talk,” I discussed what the RTL covers and how the mandate is supposed to benefit both the rice producers and consumers.

Several months passed since the bill was implemented, and Dad’s assumptions that it will negatively affect the rice farmers are right. When my brother, sis-in-law, and I went to our home province last September, a majority of the rice farmers all over the country are expressing their sentiments to abolish the law.

The cheaper imported rice may have been a solution to most rice consumers, but the local rice struggled to compete with it. This resulted in a lower buying price for the local rice – way too low that farmers no longer gain any profit considering the high expenses involved in rice farming from planting to harvesting.

Local farmers, in fact, had to borrow money in order to recover the losses incurred during this season’s harvests. My Dad plans to skip cropping seasons in the meantime that market prices for local rice are low.

The Rice Farming Business Through The Decades

Our rice farming business is an additional source of income, and our parents relied on it to support all our needs when we were in college.

My parents told us how their salaries as working professionals (grade school teacher and engineer) were not enough to support all our needs. Copra production is also another alternative source of income for my parents, however, the buying price of coconuts is also very low.

Both of my parents are retired now and receive a monthly pension. My siblings and I also have our own careers. But what concerns my parents more now is the situation of our palay farm workers who rely on the planting and harvesting seasons to earn an income.

My Dad told me that should we skip a couple of cropping seasons (that’s every 6 months per annum), our farm workers will have no other choice but to look for other means to earn an income. Most of them are skilled in rice farming only so looking for other types of jobs will be difficult for them.

Some of them will leave their families behind to come here to Manila and work as construction workers. My Dad fears that those who do not have this privilege, considering the expensive bus fares going to Manila, might end up joining the New People’s Army to get money to feed their families.

Support the Local Rice Farmers

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The plight of rice farmers has created an uproar on social media. There were several collaborations and joint efforts done to support the local farmers such as what Session Groceries is doing. However, only the rice farmers located near and within Metro Manila will benefit from these collective efforts since a majority of the demand all over the country comes from the metro.

For those who are in far-flung provinces such as our rice farmers in Bicol, this isn’t an option. Because selling rice in Manila would mean costly trucking and handling fees. Our only option is to sell our palay to rice traders in the region.

As I type this, I can’t help but feel a little emotional. I have seen the difficult process of producing rice, the stress involved, the resources needed, the amount of money shelled out, and how some of our farm workers would ask my Dad for their salaries in advance to support their immediate needs.

They have been a part of our family for several generations now – yes, we already consider them as a family because they are the ones responsible for keeping our rice farming business running. We just finance the entire process, but they are the ones who do all the hard work, which is extremely difficult. Agricultural work is indeed and entails hard labor.

I see the RTL as a form of oppression to the entire local rice farming industry. If it will not be abolished and market prices for local rice don’t go back to normal, we have to start looking for better alternatives that have lasting solutions.

Just Wait Because God is Always on Time and Never Late

I have been asking God for answers as to why this has to happen. Why let Your people suffer? Why let those who are in the seat of power abuse those who are already disadvantaged? Why let the strong continue to oppress the weak?

And yet through those questions, God asked that I trust Him completely. He may not have revealed what His plans are and yet there is the assurance that He is working something good behind it all. He is always working even if we don’t see it.

Unfortunately, one of my personal struggles is being patient. I already learned a lesson on patience the hard way in terms of my career. It’s God’s calling I work from home. But since I am expecting positive results once I obey Him, I end up doing the other way around when my expectations aren’t met.

The last office job was God’s final warning for me. After just a couple of weeks working in an office setting, here came the health scare once again. I felt persistent pain in my chest, which prompted me to resign and go through several medical checkups.

Warnings To Heed

To some of you who don’t know yet, breast cancer was consistent in my family’s history starting from my great grandmother, grandmother, then to my Mom. They’re all cancer survivors.

God made me realize that the daily commute weakens my immune system faster. I believe God is telling me that He still has more for me to do and if I want to live a fulfilled life, I should obey His calling.

Aside from the health scare, the work-from-home setup also allows me to work anywhere. This means that if God calls me to be in my home province and help Dad manage our family business, I can go there anytime without disrupting my work schedule.

Setting Priorities Right

This isn’t as easy as it sounds though since the reason why I am still here in Manila is that hubby’s work is here, and he is still my first priority. Hubby doesn’t have any background in farming, and should we decide to live in Bicol for good, it will be a major change in his life. I think hubby isn’t ready for this shift yet.

And God knows that, too. So His answer was this, “Tin, wait. I am still not yet done working. You just have to wait.”

For someone like me who always do things according to the plan, impatience always gets the best of me. And yet, this is where God is teaching me the greatest lesson. Though I must admit I sometimes haggle my way through His plans by asking Him to give me even just some glimpses of what He intends to do.

God will reveal some of His plans and yet they are not always a clear picture. Because “His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.” He can only show us portions of His bigger plans, bits and pieces of them, because that is only how far our human mind could comprehend.

I have realized later on that God’s wisdom is not meant to be grasped nor even understood. It is only to be received in faith that will show our complete trust in His power and His sovereignty above all things.

A Glimpse of Future Investments

I don’t have the wisdom of God to put the pieces of a puzzle together. And yet, in these pieces that God reveals along the way, I can make out one word – HOPE.

The Bicol International Airport was set to be completed by 2020; the Bicol Fish Port is half-finished; the construction of the SLEX 4, which will cut 3-4 hours of the travel time from Bicol to Manila and vice versa, has already started; and SM is starting to build several branches in key cities in the Bicol Region including the city closest to us, which is Sorsogon.

Our hometown may not experience this rapid growth in urbanization just yet. But when it happens, it will also increase commercialization in the province which will then boost local revenues.

This means better employment opportunities and a better quality of life for everyone. I am praying that those who live in the provinces will no longer have to go to Metro Manila and search for stable job opportunities. Besides, the metro will also reach its saturation point. Time will come when it will no longer be a conducive and habitable place to live in given the traffic, congestion, and pollution.

A Shift in the AgriBusiness Industry

Some farmers fear it will be the dawn of the agribusiness industry if most of the lands will be converted to real estate developments. We’re hoping that not all of the agricultural lands will be converted and utilized for commercial and residential projects. We will still have a need for farmlands to produce vegetables, other crops, and raise livestock and address the increasing demand in food supplies.

I wrote in my previous article, “Agribusiness: The Future of Today’s Economy,” that agribusinesses will have a high demand as long as the local government will patronize local products. In our region, God is just starting to establish the market.

So this must be the reason why He is asking me to wait. My siblings and I are initially planning on utilizing another portion of our farm for organic farming and other projects. Our goal is to help the local community and use the idle land according to how our grandparents wanted it to be utilized.

We proposed the idea to our parents but they are not really open to it since it’s a new venture, and they’re unfamiliar with the entire process. My grandparents have grown vegetables but only for their daily consumption. My parents don’t have enough knowledge and experience growing organic vegetables on a wider scale.

The Plan

Competition may be tough. But with the increase in commercial establishments, especially in the food industry such as local restaurants, there will be a high demand for a wide range of agricultural products.

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Commercial establishments will start looking for local suppliers as this is cheaper compared if their suppliers will come from the North such as in Benguet where most of Metro Manila’s vegetables are coming from. But can you grow one type of vegetable only and be the supplier for an entire region? Yes, it is possible. One hectare can already provide you a truckload or more of produce. If you own a huge parcel of land, you have more options for growing different kinds of crops.

My parents said this will be difficult since there are certain crops that will only grow on a particular type of soil. If these are vegetables, especially the leafy ones, they don’t have deep root systems. They thrive on rich topsoil. Some of them can be grown in pots just like what I did here in our condo.

I came up with a plan to conduct a“pilot testing” for several vegetables by planting a couple of them in our backyard to see which ones will thrive and which ones won’t. The soil in our garden can be tested along with the soil taken from our farm to compare if they are the same or not.

The experiment will run for an entire cropping season. Determining the crop that is best suited to a particular type of soil will depend on the crop yield. If the crop produced a higher yield, then the percentage of it becoming a profitable venture is also high. It will also include all the expenses for organic fertilizers as well as the labor, and then I will compare it to the market price of the selected crop.

If It is God’s Will, He Will Make a Way

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And yet these are all just plans, and these plans may change or may never be fulfilled depending on God’s will. Right now, it is about waiting on His perfect time and acting according to His instructions. I asked for God’s guidance that if my plans are indeed part of His plans, may He lead me to the right resources and the right people who can help me and my siblings in this endeavor.

As typical of God, He never fails when you ask, especially if you are doing the tasks according to His will and His plans. Here are the links I found. Yes, I know, they are quite a lot, but they are all a very good read. Who knows, maybe God will also give you the answers you’ve been waiting from Him through these articles. 🙂

https://www.bworldonline.com/bicol-tops-regions-in-economic-growth/

https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1068281http://nro5.neda.gov.ph/

https://psa.gov.ph/grdp/grdp-id/138508

https://www.lamudi.com.ph/journal/how-to-transfer-land-titles-in-the-philippines/

http://pfda.gov.ph/news/343-the-bulan-regional-fish-port-project

https://business.inquirer.net/233676/spotting-good-real-estate-investment

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6556762717389189120

While typing this article, I am also listening to my favorite playlist on Spotify, and it’s just timely that the song by Sinach was played twice. I believe this song is meant to be the perfect ending for this article focusing on this one thought – God will make a way for He is our Way Maker. ❤

I am posting two versions – the original version sung by Sinach in 2017 and the cover version sung by Leeland in 2019. 🙂

The Hope That Faith Brings Through Adversity

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I would like to share the takeaway for this year’s Midyear Prayer and Fasting in church. ❤

Be Renewed: Midyear Prayer and Fasting, Women’s Summit 2019

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I find it timely for events such as the Midyear Prayer and Fasting and the Women’s Summit to take place this month and next month just when circumstances for the past weeks demanded nothing but tons of prayers and a lot of faith. God is always the God of perfect timing, eh? 😉

I also felt the urge to send an invite to all the women who shared the predicament they are in right now when it comes to the concubinage/adultery case I posted 4 months ago. Until now it is being re-shared across Facebook and I still get comments mostly from married women about their husband’s infidelity.

I did reply to some of the comments by sharing the website of the Public Attorney’s Office where they can seek legal counsel over their situation for free or for a minimal fee. But I know the best that I can only do is to pray for them – pray for ways how they can be healed, how their marriages will be restored, and how I can connect them to a spiritual family.

I also know how it felt to be in a “dark” situation 6 years ago when I wasn’t a born-again Christian yet. It was also faith that brought me out into the light and gave me a new hope and a fresh start in life. I have high hopes they will also experience freedom from their past and salvation that only God can provide.

I shared that particular post not because my husband and I went through the same thing but I just felt I had to. I thought the Women’s Summit event, which will be held in our church at Victory Fort, came just in time for women to uplift fellow women and pray for those who are in dire need of prayers.

I hesitated sending the invite tho to each one of them thinking it might come intrusive and just settled with sharing it publicly on my profile instead. I hope they will see the post and attend the event because I know it is only the church and the spiritual family who can help them get through a tough ordeal just like how they helped me get through mine. 🙏

To all those who are interested to attend the Women’s Summit event on August 10, 2019 from 9:00 am to 12 noon, you may register online here: https://victoryfort.org/ws2019/. ❤

From a sister in Christ who mourns and prays for fellow sisters who are afflicted,

Bible Verse of the Day: 05/19/2019

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A call to lead and to be the salt and light to the next generation. 🙏

A blessed Sunday, everyone! ❤

All About Leadership: Which One Fits You? | 3 Types of Leaders

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I initially have no idea how this inclination to research about leaders started. My guess is that the experiences, circumstances, and opportunities that came along for this season probably have something to do with it.

While editing this article though a couple of days later, I realized that the Philippine general election this year (midterm election) has just concluded and a new set of government leaders are to enter office by June 2019.

I am usually mum when it comes to politics and everything involved with it. My husband is usually the one who shares his complaints about politics and why he doesn’t vote. His reason was that his one vote won’t mean anything against the greater percentage of Filipinos who will vote for the wrong candidates.

I also don’t vote but only because I haven’t felt the need to do so. And yet in the coming elections, I hope to participate as a voter and use this privilege as a citizen of this country. A privilege to a few citizens of this world actually as it is the cause of bloodshed and uprising in some countries just so they can exercise their right to vote.

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How Our Leaders Have Fared Throughout History

I believe it’s a given that we cannot change the government now no matter how much we rally against them and show them their incompetencies and what they lack. This might sound less convincing coming from someone who graduated from a university that is popularly known as a breeding ground for activists. But for the record though, I didn’t attend any single one of the student-organized rallies in our school opposing how the government runs.

I told my husband that decades have already passed and activists still fight for the same causes and ask the same demands from the government. I see rallies as good, though. Why? It raises awareness on the social and political problems that our country faces each day for decades already, centuries even.

And yet decades have passed, too, and still, nothing happened. All their pleas fell on deaf ears. Corruption is still there, for one, among other third-world problems. Maybe it is about time we bring that change through our own efforts. God also has a good purpose why He allowed the appointment of our government officials now and though we have a choice on who to vote, we cannot really dictate the results of the election.

Start The Change, Be The Change

The kind of change that we can instill is how we raise the next generation of leaders. Are we going to raise them wherein fear of the Lord matters more than anything else? Are we going to raise future citizens who are going to be men and women of integrity even if it means going against the system? Will these future leaders remain true to their calling even if persecution comes and their lives will be at stake a la Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? Can we raise a generation of future leaders who are idealists and yet not of this world but of a higher standard which is that of God’s? Can we raise future leaders who will serve God first and their countrymen next?

I believe my stumbling upon the different types of leaders came by no accident. It is not just for the purpose of identifying different leaders but knowing the ones who honor God first and second, possess the leadership traits that our society, as a whole, needs.

The Different Types of Leaders

I found several types of leaders but just an overview, each of them has his/her own strengths and weaknesses and satisfies a particular need in every organization. I thought it best to discuss in this article the ones that will benefit an organization on a holistic level.

I came across transformational leadership through a Linkedin article and I was reminded of it again after a getaway with my college best friends. It was out of curiousity then that made me question the difference between a transformational leader and a visionary leader. I did my research and found these helpful links about their definitions and the delineations between each type.

What Is Visionary Leadership? | 7 Traits of A Visionary Leader

What Is Transformational Leadership? (The Benefits and Impact)

Charismatic Leadership: The Good, Bad, and Best Practices

Charismatic and Transformational Leadership: Characteristics, Similarities, and Differences

Are You A Visionary Business Leader?

Visionary Transformational Leadership Model

Future Leaders Need Mentors

Given all these, what the generation of future leaders needs from us now are mentors who uphold these values and leadership traits, live them out, and lead people towards God. Who are the figures of authority we see in our organizations now that are not driven by money, worldly success, and selfish gain?

It is my prayer that more and more of these people will be exposed to the limelight that they may become the salt and light to the youth. It is my belief that if we want to change how our government runs, it is not through ousting the current officials. But it is through honing the next set of leaders and learning from the mistakes committed by our leaders today.

Each and every one of us has a role to play. It is not just through our votes alone. It is more about our participation in raising the future leaders who will one day assume office in God’s appointed time.

I don’t involve myself in all the political bickering because every system has its own flaws. All we can only do is to learn from the failures of our system and our generation now and hope, pray, and involve ourselves in making sure the future generations won’t suffer the same fate.

You Are A Leader

Better yet, let us be the leader that God wants us to be in our homes, in school, at work, and in our communities. I see every individual who is part of an older generation as a leader because they have the wisdom and experiences that the younger generations don’t have (yet). There is no apprentice if there is no master, so to speak, and vice versa.

We don’t need a title to lead people. If we are called to make disciples, then that means God has already appointed us to be a leader not just inside the church but more importantly, outside our spiritual family. Every one of us is a born leader regardless of the status, background, and capabilities. This is our calling and whether we accept it or not, God’s purpose for us will still lead us to lead others.

“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” – 1 Timothy 4:12

“Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith.” – Hebrews 13:7

I’d like to end this article by leaving this question for us to ponder:

“As a leader of today’s generation, what does God want us to do now with the resources, knowledge, and skills bestowed upon each one of us?”

Making disciples and leading through this blog,

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Bleeding Love: Why Women?

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This post is related to my previous post about my Facebook status update on concubinage and adultery. I posted it last March 19 and a month after it is still being shared on the newsfeed.

If I will be given the luxury of time to conduct academic research on the topic, I would gladly do so. But unfortunately, time is gold for me right now. In fact, I will be discussing my observations briefly in this article.

When I posted the status update, I must say it was more of a Spirit’s leading rather than a testimonial because my husband and I never went through the same predicament as the people who shared their experiences in the status comments. And looking at the comments, the statistics came up with 22 females and 1 male who have been victims of concubinage and adultery.

One question came up: Why women?

I cannot make an assumption or generalization that infidelity is an issue committed only by most men based on the results of that one single Facebook post. There are a lot of factors that come into play such as the idea that maybe women are more vocal about it than men. Or maybe men can move on easily than women.

Another question: Should you meddle with other people’s affairs?

There is a huge difference between meddling and providing information for someone’s benefit. I believe I have been successful with the latter and yet there is one thing that I believe is actually the exact reason why I was prompted to post it.

There are so many hearts that are bleeding because of love in what supposed to be holy matrimony – God sees it. The 22 women who have commented and those who have sent me private messages are in need of healing.

And no, I believe this is not the kind of healing where you get to hear their stories, suggest the legal actions they can undertake, and then expect them to get on with their lives. I am feeling there is something deeper than that – the kind of healing that only One person can provide.

Third question: Who will be the instrument towards that healing?

I am 33 years old with only 4 years of experience when it comes to being married. I am neither a professional counselor who went through proper training. And yet I am seeing a harvest, a huge number of it and I think the church can provide the support that these women need i.e. spiritual mentors backed by decades of experience in a marriage – a Godly one.

More specifically, mentors who are married women. A spiritual group, perhaps, where women who went through and are going through the aftermaths of infidelity will feel safe, assured, and last but not the least, loved. A group where they won’t feel left out because they’re no longer with their husbands and yet help them find themselves again through the loving grace of God.

As A Seed of Hope, An Instrument of Change

We are all being used by God every single day in school, at work, at home, and in our community as an instrument to lead people towards Christ and salvation. Just like the metaphor used in the Bible about a Christian and faith. Before a seed becomes a plant, it will go through several phases in several mediums before it will start to blossom or bear fruit. And yet God is the one who will keep it alive.

I felt like I haven’t done much of my part when I shared what are the legal actions to take in cases of concubinage or adultery. I feel that it has to be something deeper and something more than that. It is now my prayer to God to instruct me on how to lead these people towards salvation and eventually experience spiritual and inner healing without being obtrusive about faith. An opportunity where they will be the ones to seek Jesus as their Savior.

But for now, I believe we all need to be ready when the seed is due for planting. Any growing seed will need the TLC of a Gardener who will water and nourish it until it has grown its roots and been firmly planted on the ground. So no matter how harsh the elements around it are, it will and it will survive. 🙂

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” – Matthew 4:19

“…Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew 28:19-20

Always a mentee with God as the coach,

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P.S.

This post reminded me of a photo I took several weeks back. I needed to place all my herb plants inside our room (a la greenhouse vegetable farming) because the winds are just too strong in our balcony. My plants were having a hard time growing new leaves so here I am, the gardener, “nursing them back to good health.” 😉

Paano Ba Ang Tamang Pagpapatawad? | Relationship Goals

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To my non-Filipino readers, I wrote this article in the vernacular because I felt the message will go through much better in this medium. But you may use the Google translate button below or at the sidebar of this page. I just hope Google will do a fine job of translating it. *wink*

“Paano Ba Ang Tamang Pagpapatawad?”

Noong nakaraang buwan, may isa akong status update na ni-post sa Facebook. Ito ay tungkol sa kasong adultery at concubinage. Hindi namin pinagdaanan ito ng asawa ko kaya sa mga nagtataka bakit nga ba bigla lang akong nag-post tungkol doon, wala akong ibang maisagot kundi dahil sa naramdaman ko lamang na kailangan ko syang i-post.

Infidelity: Kasong Concubinage at Adultery

Ang infidelity o pagkakaroon ng kabit o karelasyong babae/lalaki maliban sa iyong asawa ay isang sensitibong usapan pagdating sa ating lipunan. Madalas natin itong napapanood sa mga pelikulang Pinoy at teleserye. Ngunit sa totoong sitwasyon, ito ay itinuturing bilang isang kahihiyan. Kaya hindi nakapagtataka kung bakit maraming mga biktima ang piniling manahimik na lamang at indahin ang sakit at mga pasakit na dulot nito.

Ito ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit naisipan kong i-post ang tungkol sa adultery at concubinage case. Dahil nakita ko ang dalamhati nila, ang sakit na dinaranas bawat araw, at kanilang mga sakripisyo sa pamamagitan ng pagiging matatag sa kabila ng lahat alang-alang sa kanilang mga anak at ikatatahimik ng lahat.

Ang iba naman ay nagpaubaya na lamang dahil hindi sapat ang kanilang impormasyon tungkol sa infidelity at sa mga batas na nangangalaga sa mga karapatan ng isang asawa. Kahit saang bansa sagrado ang tingin ng batas at ng lipunan sa isang kasal o pagsasama ng isang mag-asawa.

Ang adultery case ay iba sa concubinage case. Ang una ay kaso ng isang asawang lalaki laban sa kanyang asawang babae at ang kabit nito. Ang huli ay kaso ng isang babaeng asawa laban sa kanyang asawang lalaki at ang kabit nito.

Para sa karagdagang kaalaman tungkol dito, maaari ninyong basahin itong artikulo:

“A Brief Discussion on Infidelity, Concubinage, Adultery, and Bigamy”

Hindi ko inakala na maraming kababaihan ang dumaraan sa ganitong mahirap na sitwasyon ngayon at walang alam kung paano ito resolbahan. Nakita ko ang mga komento ng iba’t-ibang kababaihan na naglahad ng kanilang mga kanya-kanyang sitwasyon. Hindi ko rin napaghandaan na ganito ang magiging kalalabasan ng post na iyon na ni-share ng mga kaibigan at ng mga kaibigan nila.

Ngunit ipinanalangin ko sa Panginoon na gabayan Nya ako kung paano makakatulong sa aking mga kapatid na kinakaharap ang ganitong masalimuot na sitwasyon. Ang itinuro sa akin ng Dios ay ang website ng Public Attorneys Office at ang mga numero kung paano ito kontakin. Ito ang kasagutang aking naibigay dahil hindi ko masasagot ang mga katanungan nila at hindi naman ako abogado.

Ano Ang Iyong Gagawin Bilang Isang Kristyano?

Marahil sa puntong iyon ng pag-post ko, marami sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagtaka lalo na sa konteksto ng pagiging isa kong Kristyano. Dahil ang utos sa Bibliya ay magpatawad at huwag maghiganti sa isang maling gawain na ginawa saiyo.

Mga minamahal, huwag kayong maghihiganti; ipaubaya ninyo iyon sa Dios. Sapagkat nasusulat, “Akin ang paghihiganti, ako ang gaganti,” sabi ni Panginoon. – Mga Taga-Roma 12:19

Ngunit ayon din naman sa aking pananaliksik, ang pagpapatawad daw ay laging may kaakibat na kondisyon. Dahil ganoon din ang hiningi ng Dios sa atin kapalit ng ating pagkakaligtas – tanggapin si Hesus bilang iyong tagapagligtas at talikuran ang masamang nakaraan. Pero meron din namang nagsasabi na sa anumang uri ng pagkakamali, palaging maging handa magpatawad.

Naisip ko na may rason ang Dios bakit Nya pinagawa ang sampung kautusan kay Moses noon na ‘yun ang naging basehan ng ating mga batas upang mapanatili ang katahimikan sa lipunan ngayon. Lahat ng ito ay naglalayon na mapangalagaan ang karapatan ng bawat isa sa ating mga mamamayan at mamuhay kasama ang iba ng tahimik at may respeto sa kapwa.


Sa usapang infidelity, and katanungan ng karamihan ay paano ba magpatawad at nararapat bang kasuhan ang iyong nagkasalang asawa? O patawarin ko na sya kaagad at ibaon ang lahat sa limot?

Kung walang nangyaring paghingi ng kapatawaran, para sa akin, mas pipiliin ko pa ring magpatawad. At sa ilang beses na naging bigo sa pagtupad ng kanyang pangako ang iyong asawa ngunit patuloy pa rin na gumagawa ng kasamaan at patuloy ding humihingi ng iyong kapatawaran, mas nakakabuting hingin mo ang payo ng Dios sa kung ano ang nararapat gawin.

Nakasaad sa Bibliya na ang adultery/concubinage ay isang sapat na rason para iwan mo ang iyong asawa. Ngunit nakasaad din dito na ang tunay na pagmamahal ay handang magpatawad sa lahat ng oras, sa anumang pagkakamali, at hindi basta-basta sumusuko.

Ang mga batas natin ay hinayaan ng Panginoon na maisakatuparan dahil ito ay may magandang pakay para sa lipunan at sa mga mamamayan. Hindi ito ginawa para lamang panakot kundi magsilbing gabay sa mga tao para gawin kung ano ang tama at maturuan ang mga may sala na talikuran ang paggawa ng masama at mag-bagong buhay.

God Is Always With you

Para saiyo kapatid na patuloy na nagdadalamhati sa sakit at pait na dulot ng infidelity, ito lamang ang aking maipapayo:

  • Hindi na mahalaga na tanungin mo ang iyong sarili kung saan ka ba nagkulang at nagawa ito saiyo ng iyong asawa. Lahat tayo ay may kakulangan. Pero kung totoong mahal ka nya, kaya nyang tanggapin ano mang pagkukulang mo at kung mahal mo rin sya, kaya mo ring tanggapin ang buo nyang pagkatao.
  • Hilingin mo sa Panginoon ano ang dapat mong gawin sa sitwasyon ninyo ng inyong asawa. Tanungin mo Sya kung nararapat bang kasuhan ang iyong asawa ng adultery o concubinage case o patawarin mo na lamang sya, talikuran ang mga nangyari, at hayaan na lamang na panahon ang maghilom ng lahat.
  • Dios ang palaging nagtatama ng lahat. Ngunit tayo ang kikilos ayon sa Kanyang mga utos. Ika nga nila, “Nasa Dios ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa.”
  • Huwag kang panghinaan ng loob, hindi lamang ikaw ang nagdurusa at nasasadlak sa ganitong kalagayan. At lalo na, hindi ka nag-iisa. Maraming tao ang handang tumulong saiyo sa anumang paraan na alam nila para ikaw ay makabangon muli.
  • Patatagin mo ang iyong kalooban dahil karamay mo kami at ang Dios. Sa Dios pa lang, panalo ka na. Hayaan mo Syang igabay ka sa mga tamang taong tutulong sayo at gagabay din sayo sa tamang daan.
  • Lahat ng bagay may simula at katapusan. Ang paghihirap mong ito ay matatapos din. Ang unos ay titila at ang araw ay lalabas din. Madilim man itong dinaraanan mo ngayon pero liliwanag din sa huli. Manalig ka na lahat ng mga nangyayari sa mundong ito ay nakikita ng Dios. Dios ang pinakahukom kung saan lahat ng bawat kilos natin ay ating pananagutan at sisingilin Nya sa atin pagdating ng tamang panahon.
  • Bumangon ka kapatid. Harapin mo ang bawat umaga ng may tapang at lakas. Na sa kabila ng pinagdaraanan mo, mananatili kang matatag. Isa kang magiting na sundalo na sa bawat laban, ang bandila mo ay patuloy na mamamayagpag. Higit sa lahat, isa kang magiting na mandirigma dahil kakampi mo ang Dios. At ito sana ang panghawakan mo palagi:

“Tinutulungan Niya ang mga nagdurusa at ‘di binibigo ang walang pag-asa.” – Mga Awit 34:18

Patuloy na nananalangin ng taimtim para saiyo, kapatid,

Dying Young, Dying Old: A Lenten Season Special

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February this year was full of mourning and grief from deaths of loved ones of people I know. It made me think about life’s brevity and longevity – the reason why Science never stopped in discovering how life can be preserved. In fact, a lot of movies have been inspired by it – how to attain immortality. But, as we all know, only One conquered death and it’s for the purpose of giving everyone immortality – eternal life.

What is Death?

One story is about someone from our church. I don’t know her personally but we have common friends. When I checked out her profile, three words came into my mind – young, devoted, and vibrant. Her life, albeit short, was full of colors – she lived life to the fullest in adoration and service to the Lord. She was diagnosed with lupus and it was through her testimony that I discovered that lupus is also the same as cancer – incurable. What struck me after reading her testimony was this statement: “Sometimes pain can make you forget God.”

It is true. Any form of extreme pain, may it be physical or emotional, can sometimes make you question your existence, your purpose, and finally your faith. But, if you have been saved prior to the pain, or even during the pain, none of everything you will go through, what you have done, and what you have will matter.

“We, therefore, were buried with Him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may walk in newness of life.” -Romans 6:4

The same goes to those who died old. It reminded me of my maternal grandma who will be celebrating her 95th birthday this year if God wills it. She would always ask me and my siblings when will God take her. Our only answer is that only God knows and maybe God has a purpose for her that is still yet to be fulfilled.

I see her suffer now from the ailments of old age. I feel her pain. I ask God the same questions, too. And one of those questions is this, “Lord, is there ever a way for us to die a painless death a.k.a. the easy death?”

I guess we all have that moment wherein we ask God how we will die. Will we ever grow old? Will we die of cancer? Will we die in an accident? Will I die in my sleep? Will I die with a mangled body? Will I die writhing in pain?

Is Your Heart Ready?

Through all these questions, one stood out: “Are our hearts ready?”

Can we live life just like my churchmate? Though she went through so much pain, she had the assurance of life in eternity. It’s the same with my grandma. Though there is a restlessness in her heart, peace also comes within her brought about by the same assurance.

There’s just one form of death that makes me deeply sad – suicide. One of my friends on Facebook shared about a niece, a high school student, who committed suicide by hanging herself. I checked out her profile and I have seen how depression overtook the better part of her.

If only someone reached out to her and shared the Good News. A shared conversation could’ve changed her fate. A shared story would’ve made all the difference. A fellowship perhaps about how we all go through painful and difficult moments in life and yet by God’s grace and because of the assurance of life in eternity, we endure them all, we strive forward and carry our own “crosses” no matter how heavy they are. Yes, carry them until we have fulfilled what God has tasked us to do as a follower of Christ.

I grieved for her soul – that which can never be resurrected, one that will forever be lost.

I Am Ready

Death, sickness, lost lives…they all dawned on me and my current situation. I lost one good career opportunity because my health demanded it. I am facing my own fears, too – dying young, dying old, and going through extreme pain.

But instead of living life in fear dreading what sad or bad news the future might bring, I celebrate life. Not through YOLO or FOMO but through a heart that is ready.

God has been postponing my visit to the doctor for a whole lot of different reasons – the doctor canceled, hubby’s loa wasn’t approved, etc. But this coming Saturday is our “hope” day. And as with everything, I will wait what and where God will bring me. So as my prayer goes, LET HIS WILL BE DONE. 🙂

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.” – Revelation 21: 5

Peacefully waiting,

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