For me, goodbyes are always sad. That’s why tonight, I can write the saddest lines.
Today marks my first day being separated from ze husband. While packing his things inside his luggage, I offered to make him a pretty ribbon as a marker for his luggage just like what I did with mine. But he gently declined my offer telling me that his luggage was fine just the way it is. I guess my unicorn luggage is too pretty for him. 😅
Nope, I am not afraid to live alone. I was single for 2 years and lived alone in our old apartment in Quezon City before I met my husband. I was passionately serving God and the church during that time I haven’t given singleness much a thought. I was, in fact, enjoying it.
But as we all know it, God called me to be a wife. Eight years later, here I am living alone again as the wife of an OFW. It’s only for 2 years though. But a lot can happen in 2 years. Adjusting also doesn’t come easy as I’ve gotten used to having my husband around for 8 years.
What I am afraid of now is that I’d get too comfortable living alone given that I’m an introvert and have an affinity for solitude. I’m very comfortable being alone, but I also crave human connections every now and then.
I do love to hang out with a few closest friends and stay up late talking about shared interests. But my default social circle, whenever I am transferring homes, is the church, so connecting with Victory Sorsogon is one of my priorities when I get back home.
I still have to wait for 2 weeks though before I can pack my bags and head home. I was scheduled to have my executive checkup on the 21st and 22nd of April. I just want to make sure I am 100% healthy before I go back to my multitasking, unicorn self. 🦄
When It’s Hard To Understand, Just Trust God
I am never the type who asks the “why me” question to God when I don’t understand the circumstances around me. God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-8). Neither does God expect us to understand the circumstances around us, but He wants us to trust Him completely despite the uncertainty. And yet I can’t help but wonder why God called my husband to work in the Middle East as a nurse when wars are rampant there. Why there?
Just the day before my husband’s flight this morning, Iran initiated missile attacks against Israel. All the flights in the Middle East were canceled and flight operations were suspended, but they also resumed a couple of hours later. My heart sank after hearing the news. I couldn’t sleep well for the past few nights. Why now, Lord? But then, God reminded me about Queen Esther in the Bible and how God chose her for “such a time as this.”
In between our sobs and hugs, I told my husband that we have to stand firm in our calling even if we have to make sacrifices, just like what Queen Esther did. We go where God calls us to go, and we serve those whom He has called us to serve. We may choose not to respond right away because of fear. And we can think that we were able to avoid the responsibility entirely. But the truth is, we are only delaying the calling. The calling will remain until it gets fulfilled sooner or later.
Thus, there is only one response that God requires from us – we obey. Obedience is of paramount importance to God. He measures our faith and our loyalty to Him when we follow Him even if it means our lives are at stake. Not every calling is the same, but every calling will define where we stand with God. Are we with Him or are we against Him?
Different Places, But The Same God
I felt like God wanted me to see our situation now from a bigger perspective. The Middle East is comprised of deserts. Our farm, on the other hand, is comprised of wilderness. Right now, the wilderness and the desert are unfamiliar territories to me and my husband and yet God called us to step out of our comfort zones to serve in these places.
We don’t know what is waiting for us in the desert and in the wilderness. There can be abundance and growth, but there can also be lack and drought. There can be cooperation, or there can be resistance. There can be war, and there can be peace. But one thing is for sure, God is opening doors that He wants me and my husband to enter.
Getting Ready For The New Season
I am beyond grateful that the provisions, guidance, and protection from God are overflowing during this season. Last Sunday, I received another job invitation aside from the ones I received in the previous months. These positions are a bit different from my previous writing jobs.
These are supervisory roles, too. And yet if God wills it I accept one of these jobs, I know God has prepared and will prepare me well to take on bigger responsibilities alongside my farm duties. All of these opportunities came just in time – I am planning to go back to the workforce, and my previous work experience as a brand journalist and my background in agribusiness will allow me to deliver what the company needs for its business.
Speaking of going back to the workforce, this is also why I need to prioritize my health before starting any job. God is giving me plenty of options to choose from to keep my health in check, and these options are getting better. One of them is the SPOT-MAS offered by The Medical City. I just need to ask my Mom’s oncologist about the difference between the SPOT-MAS and the BRCA 1/2 mutational testing.
If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while now, you would know by now that I love asking a lot of questions out of my need to learn more so I can make better and informed decisions. And I realized just recently, too, that if you ask way too many questions, sometimes you get a good laugh as an answer. 😅
When I was talking to Healthway Medical’s patient care coordinator about their executive checkup package, I asked how long will it take to finish all the tests. He answered na 7-8 hours daw. I was like, “Whuuuuut? That’s like an entire shift already. ‘Di kaya sa ospital na ang ending ko nyan sa tagal ng mga tests. Mage-extract lang ng dugo, 1 hour ang inabot. Hinimatay na pasyente dahil sa blood loss.” 😂
He laughed so hard when I told him that. I know he was just joking. The tests will only take about an hour or 2. I already got these tests before except for the treadmill stress test, so I already have an idea how they’re done. I was just curious if every clinic has its own protocol when conducting the tests.
I must commend him though for being very accommodating and patient enough in answering all of my questions. And he sure is the right person for the job because he knows how to pacify an anxious patient. I will test this again when he assists me during my executive checkup on Sunday. 😁
Yes, tonight I can write the saddest lines. But I chose not to. Because I am not Pablo Neruda. Obviously. lol How to state the obvious without being obvious? 😄
Seriously, I will remain hopeful for what is yet to come and remain faithful to what is yet to be fulfilled. For now, we continue to rise above the challenges and overcome our fears of the unknown as we answer God’s calling – even if it entails sacrifices, many or few. 🙏
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
“The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34
“The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness;..” – 1 Samuel 26:23
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” – James 1:12
The Journeyman's Moments 