The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
When something is new to us, these two are what we often feel – apprehension and fear. We automatically go through a moment of indecisiveness whether to try it or not, to follow or not. The question then is this, how many times did you push through with something you haven’t done before without any assurances of the outcome?
Following His Lead: Where Will It Take Me?
If you are a risk-taker, indecisiveness is not much of a problem. But dealing with the consequences, later on, can come pretty hard. I used to be a risk-taker, I actually still am for the most part. And yet, taking risks for me now comes with a lot of planning and contemplating and yes, lots of prayers.
“Is this what You want me to do, Lord?”
Did you come to a point where you asked God this question? I did, thousands of times actually. I believe every day requires I seek His permission first before I do things. This included my future plans and endeavors.
And yet it also came to the point that I was having second thoughts on whether to share my plans here (and they are many). I was feeling a strong desire to share them and yet something is holding me back.
As we are all aware of, this world runs on a “to see is to believe” mantra. Posting my plans without the assurance of them happening in the future will only be boasting. True enough, after I prayed what to do, God gave an answer through a verse I stumbled upon while browsing Godpreneur‘s IG newsfeed:
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
– James 4:13-17
Always His Will Be Done
I finally got the assurance – share your plans but share it in a manner that will honor God and His will, first and foremost. The verses reminded me that by sharing my plans, I have the responsibility to make them happen especially if they are according to God’s will. And yet it also reminded me that,
“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” – Proverbs 19:21
When I shared my plans, it is not about boasting what I intend to do. It is, in fact, relying on faith and WHAT GOD WILL DO. This means that if the plans I mentioned failed, God has other plans other than what I originally planned. And yet if they push through, the plans are aligned with God’s plans.
On a deeper level, sharing what I have felt in my heart that I must share is about asking God to work His wonders whether plans fail or plans succeed. It is about letting the world know that we do what we need to do because God intended that it is His Name, His Glory, and His Power that will be proclaimed through our lives.
Do You Have the Heart to Follow Even When Everything Fails?
Yes. I believe failures are a part of God’s will for us to reach our destination. But for the most part of the journey and for the entirety of His purpose for us, this is what will stand – God’s plans will not fail. In fact, Jeremiah 29:11 always assures us that,
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
Taking risks is tough, failing is even tougher. But what have we to lose if we do things according to His will and follow His leading?
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:1
Will devote this post in adoration to and in honoring my spouse as we celebrate our 1st year wedding anniversary this August 17 – another great milestone. It was a time of great adjustment and testing and yet looking back, I am just grateful to God for everything – the good and the bad. It really does pay off having a great God in our lives. 🙂
When my husband courted me back then, I laid out clearly my sentiments first things first and these were my exact statements:
“I am the type of girl who is more practical than “pa-soshal” (high class/elite), who prefers a simple life than a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle and someone who isn’t enamored by sweep-me-off-the-feet moments but pursues what is not complicated, what is serious and what is sustainable. This applies in all aspects of my life.
But I have one great challenge for you – if you can’t love my God, please choose someone else to love.”
Strong words, eh? Yep, I was actually thinking now that I could have been so harsh at him that time. But I thought I still gave him that chance even if I am positive I did a “judgment thing” back there. I prayed to God to lead me in this area though. 😀
But there were also moments wherein “sweet as honey” is an understatement if I am to describe our quality time together. But do take note that our definitions of “sweet” can be relative but I’ll just describe my own definition anyhow. One of them was when I was eating this Cornetto ice cream and when he looked at me, he started laughing then approached me, gave me a tight hug and started showering me with kisses. He was amused obviously and told me he finds me like a cute kid. So I thought what was cute with a girl eating an ice cream which is quite a very normal thing. It was only after I was done eating and I went to the bathroom did I see in the mirror that there were ice cream streaks on my nose, my chin and sides of my mouth – like a child indeed. I didn’t know I eat ice cream as messy as that. lol *wink*
Another precious moment was when he dropped by a drugstore after a 2-hour travel from work to buy me medicines when I was having this migraine and how good it felt when he gave me a massage on the head to alleviate the pain. Such moments were priceless. They’re even better than the medication itself. Aside from that, he went ahead and bought us dinner and a juice drink because I wasn’t feeling well, I can’t prepare dinner and can’t leave the house. Unfortunately though, I got used to having him around most of the time, I feel so alone when he is not around. Yet I know this is God’s reminder re idolatry – no other thing or person before God. I should learn to rely on to God for my security, comfort and happiness and not solely on my husband.
There were also moments like when I was “Ms. Amnesia” and I keep on forgetting one or two ingredients from the grocery list and when I am about to cook, I would suddenly remember the ingredient. Ugh, definitely frustrating on my part and yet when I ask my hubby if he could buy me those ingredients at the wet market near our place, he would willingly do so even though he’s just got back from work. Aaah yes, this is just one of those moments that I so appreciate and love my husband – just like my Dad. ❤
I am grateful too for my husband for fulfilling the provider role 100% as he is the only one working. I am jobless by force. lol Graduate study and thesis work demanded I go full time with it. I do get to earn a little in other ways but it was hubby’s earnings that we solely rely on and yet God as the ultimate source of our provisions. Glad to say Brian and I aren’t just surviving but thriving. God is the great source of everything indeed.
One thing I admire about my husband though is when he would look after my needs before his. There’s this one time I asked him that we should buy new shorts because he’s been wearing the ones he has now for almost a decade already. He assured me there’s no need as they are all still wearable and yet when he saw that I needed to buy a laptop case, a new pair of jogging shoes, phone upgrade, etc. there he was insisting I buy them. He succeeded in convincing me because I experienced the inconvenience of not having them which inconvenienced him too. But no, like him, I don’t buy stuff if there really is no need.
There was one time too when we were watching this show and hubby and I were sort of playing the role of fashion police re a character’s shoes. Then he said out of the blue, “Hon when you start working, I am going to buy you stilettos.”
I’m like, “That’s nice of you Hon but I can’t wear stilettos in school, not especially if I am going to be a Special Education teacher.”
Then hubby insisted, “But Honey, stilettos look good on you. I don’t see any reason why you can’t wear them in school.”
Getting a bit impatient I added, “But stilettos are party shoes Hon and you only wear them on formal occasions.”
He insisted yet again, “The pointed shoes, Hon?”
Me: “Oh Honey, you mean pumps?” LOL
Brian: “Ohhhhh they’re called pumps. How would I know what’s it called, I am a guy.”
Well, I can’t blame him, can I? 😉
I consider simple, mundane moments as memorable especially when they make a huge impact in our lives like when I slowly taught him how to do things around the house and though he doesn’t like it at first, he finally got it when I told him it is in preparation for parenthood. I can’t be grateful enough and proud how he does things now on his own.
Or that time when I had this craving for a cheeseburger and asked him to buy one for me not taking into consideration there are different types of cheeseburgers. I was craving for the classic with the pickles but he bought the newest addition to cheeseburgers. It was okay but I wasn’t craving for it so I ended up telling him that I actually wanted the original. 😀
What happened next was something I did not expect. He offered to buy me the right cheeseburger. Yay! He actually just got back from work and a two-hour travel time and yet here he is offering to buy me a new one at the middle of our dinner. I asked him if it is okay with him and he said yes because I wouldn’t be enjoying my dinner anyhow. So out he went and bought the right one for me. I know he was tired from work and yet he still chose to go out and buy me a new one. To return the favor, I gave him a full body massage for about an hour which he did appreciate so much. 🙂
Those moments too when I saw a missing button in his office uniform and offered to mend it, he suggested that there is no need for he keeps it that way. Or when I saw him wearing a shirt that’s not been ironed and told him I’d iron it first but he insisted he likes it that way. Indeed, the world of two opposites – the OC and the not OC, that’s what we are. 😉
There were times when he’d also come home bringing three kinds of food for dinner and one was especially for me – he knows my favorite even without asking. Or that moment when I am “Miss OC” and he is “Mr. Laidback” and when he wakes up, he puts his deo on the desk and when I wake up, I put it back on top along with other beauty products. I find it so funny now that that kind of routine happened for about a month without me telling him what to do. I just thought he’d “duplicate” my actions if every time he wakes up and before using his deo, he would see it along with the other beauty products, without me saying a word – it worked. lol
I also had this fascinating discovery I found with my husband. Though I didn’t study dream psychology in our discipline, I made this experiment on him just for fun. My hubby grits his teeth during his R.E.M. and it disrupts my sleep big time being the light sleeper that I am. I do not want to disturb his sleep if I wake him up thus the experiment – every time he would start to grit, I just call out an expression of endearment to him and he would instantly stop. I know it has something to do with how the brain receives the sound and connects it with a memory that is pleasing, happy or calm. According to research, gritting happens due to stress. It became an amusing field of experiment for me as I watch him closely every time he is asleep and starts to grit and I would call out to him softly – he really does stop right away and it is effective all the time. Well, that is if I’m also awake. But if I’m in my deep sleep too, then I’ll be praying for our neighbors who’ll be the ones to hear it. *wink*
Seriously, I know love never demands and yet I honestly am guilty about this. I see it not as demands though but setting the boundaries in a marriage. Honestly too, in our critical times as a couple, I think I have asked the question to myself if he is really the one for me or I have made the wrong decision when I chose to marry him. But as months grew longer of us being a couple, I started to realize that God never makes mistakes nor did He plans for things to fail. It is the other way around – always for our own good.
PRESERVING THE LOVE: My 2-year old preserved rose from our very first Valentine’s Day date when hubby was my bf then.
I see myself loving my husband even more now. I appreciate having him around and my love for him just goes deeper with every conflict and struggle that we go through and overcome together. I know he is God’s best for me. I used to be blinded by the negativity of my situations around me and in front of us and yet I see it now that God wanted me to trust Him, honor what He has given me and train myself to look at the finish line and not the journey per se nor how rocky or smooth the road is.
If this is a test of character, then I have to go thru it and pass it according to God’s standards. But more importantly, God gave me an answer that yes, I can trust my husband if I trust God first that my husband will be leading me and our future family and that yes, I have made the right decision in choosing him as my husband.
I once asked my husband why a couple has to have opposite types of personalities and backgrounds and he said just like what everybody says that it is for a couple to complement one another. Yes, God knows better than all of us so why question everything around us? Maybe all we need to recognize is the fact that God is in control of everything and settle for that.
“God has different plans for each of us. We might feel that others have an easier assignment, or a more glamorous role to play. But if our loving Father has handpicked us for our task, who are we to whisper, “I can’t do this”?” – ODB
I know this is just the beginning and just a few of the memories that my husband and I are going to build and share together until death do us part. If you will notice, I have only shared the good memories from the past year which, as we all know, are not what only happens in married life for real. But I thought it best to share the good stuff to maintain the positivity and the good vibes. It is God that I intend to glorify anyway and not the enemy. 🙂
Indeed, it is not the accomplishments nor the possessions we have in life that will sustain us come old age, but our relationship with God and the people closest to us whom we love and love us back. We have so many things to be grateful for and those are the things that are simple, mundane, mediocre and oftentimes we take for granted. All we need to do is appreciate them as part of God’s blessings to us – like having a spouse for one. No other couple relationship is as fulfilling, as secure and as meaningful as the one bound by God and the Holy Matrimony.
To the married folks out there, keep the laughter and the love overflowing between you and your spouse at all times putting God at the center. ❤ 🙂
“For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised and uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” – Galatians 5:6
“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” – Hebrews 13:4
“Giving honor to marriage will require the utmost in Christian conviction and sensitivity. Modern social theory may redefine the family, and the new definitions may be far from its biblical foundation. What can you do? Witness to the depth of God’s love for you by keeping your marriage happy and strong. Remain faithful-in body and in mind. Pray for your spouse. Honor biblical marriage (consenting man-woman unions) by resisting political pressure to recognize and legalize other sexual preferences. Teach children the biblical meaning of marriage. Pray early for their own eventual spouses and families. Make marriage enrichment the goal of your small group discussions and study. Encourage the marriages around you to stay strong as well.” – You Version Devotion
P.S./P.R.
Okay, the P.R. there stands for the Praise Report. 😀
We are finally connected with a couples’ victory group in church that fits to our schedule. This is one of my faith goals ever since we got married and been praying about it since then. But I am continuously praying this will be the spiritual family that Brian and I will be growing together as we tread on the season of married life. There are also other things, amazing and surprising things, that I’d like to thank God for but I thought I’ll just keep that between me and God in my quiet time with Him – this post is already too long. 😉
Dahil kahit sira ang aking laptop, wala pa ring nakapigil sa akin na mag-sulat sa blog lalo na’t ilang araw na akong natengga sa pagsusulat ayan na’t puro drafts sila at kahit pa tinatyaga ko ang mabagal na pag-type nito sa aking phone. 😉
Madalas kong maalala ang nabasa ko sa libro ni Pr. Joey patungkol sa buhay mag-asawa sa libro nyang pinamagatang “The One Thing That Saved My Marriage.” This was what he shared about remembering an incident where he learned that one lesson that changed their lives as a couple:
We were visiting a church in snow-covered Washington, DC. Though it happened in 1988, I can still remember the moment vividly in my mind. The pastor said, “At the end of your life, you will find yourself in a hospital bed somewhere and the people surrounding your bed will not be your business partners and associates; they will be your wife and children. The saddest day of your life is when you look into her eyes and both of you realize that you did not love her and your children the way you should have.”
Kung interesado kayong mabasa ito, married or not, you can download this sa website nya (joeybonifacio.com) and you just have to subscribe and look for the book in the e-books bar section.
Parang tulad din ng sinabi ni Pr. Dennis sa seminar on careers sa Singles’ Getaway noong 2012 kung saan ako nagkaroon ng altar call. This was about his wife noong ito ay nagbabalak i-pursue ang pagme-medisina para maging doktor at pinapili nya kung buhay may asawa o pagdo-doktor pipiliin nya. He told his wife na kaya ba syang damayan ng kanyang medical career sa mga gabing naiiyak o nalulungkot sya dahil sa isang problema. His wife chose to prioritize him and the family.
I met my husband nasa katapusan na ako ng masteral ko. Ngunit pinili kong unahin ang pag-aasawa thus we got married kahit ‘di ko pa tapos MA ko. Now I jokingly asked my husband, “Hon kung matapos ko MA ko and pursue my PhD, papayagan mo ba ako?”
He seriously answered/asked: “Wala ka na panahon ‘nun sa amin ng mga anak mo. May gusto ka bang patunayan sa sarili mo, Hon?”
And I was silent. Smiled. Then laughed. It was really a joke.
Oo, tama sya. Para saan pa nga ba ang pag-pursue of “greater” things when God wanted us to be content with what we have taking into consideration things that really matter – if you are married, it is your spouse and family. When we claim for greater things then it also means greater responsibilities which as we all know requires these – more time, more effort, and more resources. I guess we never really can have the best of both worlds thus we have to choose and prioritize. Ngunit sa mata ng Dios, what comes after Him if you are married is not your career but your spouse.
Tama sila Pastor na sa pagtanda mo o kapag ikaw ay naaksidente o nasa ospital, it is not going to be your co-workers, your friends or your boss who will be there to stay with you 24/7. Lahat ng iyong kaibigan ay magkakaroon din ng mga sarili nilang pamilya ganun din mga kapatid at kamaganak at ang mga ka-close mo sa trabaho ay magre-resign din ‘di kalaunan.
Though it is nice to get achievements, it will become of no use when you get home and you have nobody to share it with who is there with you cheering you all the way from start to finish. There is a possibility though that your spouse will leave this world sooner which would prove that indeed, things of this world are only temporary.
Yet this will prove too that because life is short and everything is temporary, it is a must we give the necessary kind of love to the significant other that God has appointed to us if it is our calling to be married.
Maybe the best question we should ask ourselves now is to whom or to what are we investing most of our time now here on Earth? Are we using it to forge meaningful relationships living out the greatest commandment of God which is loving someone with a Christ-like attitude and preparing for life in eternity or we are just living the life within this world and conforming to its patterns?
Isa sa mga goals ko ang mabuhay ng simple, working to live and not living to work. I need money for survival and yet I rely on God for the rest of my needs. If we are getting everything we need and want thru our own efforts then we would become lukewarm in our faith thinking we don’t need Him to supply our needs.
Now this is contrary to what God wants from us dahil ang gusto lang Nya is for us to seek Him with all our hearts. ‘Yun at ‘yun lang kung tutuusin ang only goal natin in this world dapat.
With this in mind, I contemplated about not finishing my masteral. I prayed real hard about it and got an instruction from God to finish it in His perfect time. Plano kong mag-shift ng courses noong college at itong Special Education na course sana lilipatan ko. But I was advised na ituloy ko na lang undergraduate course ko and i-pursue na lang as master’s degree ang Special Education kung plano ko mag-aral ulit.
Matagal na panahon na ang lumipas pero hindi pa rin ako makausad sa masteral thesis ko to the point na tinanong na ako ng Kuya ko kung ito ba talaga gusto ko. Sabi ko oo, dahil gusto ko tumulong sa mga batang may kapansanan o special needs. Nararamdaman ko na dun malapit ang puso ko. Kung ‘yun daw ang purpose ko ‘di na kailangan ng master’s degree dahil marami namang paraan para tulungan sila.
Sagot ko naman hindi lang kasi ‘yun. Plano ko magtayo ng isang Special Education school at magiging maganda credibility ng school na ito kung alam ng mga magulang na ang may-ari ng school ay may alam sa Special Education. Plano ko rin maging hands on sa school na ito kaya dapat may alam ako sa Special Education, training at experience nang sa gayon masubaybayan at magabayan ko rin ang mga SpEd teachers na magtuturo sa aking school.
At hindi lang dito nagtatapos ang layunin ko dahil kasabay ng school ay plano ko magtayo ng isang foundation/therapy center na mangangalaga ng libre sa mga batang may kapansanan ngunit kapos para makakuha ng sapat na serbisyo sa kanilang mga needs doon muna sa aking hometown sa Bulan, Sorsogon sa Bicol region. Alam ko na sa mga plano na ito, malaking effort, mahabang panahon at malaking pondo kailangan kong bunuin.
Ito ay isa lamang sa mga long-term goals ko kahit pa ngayong ako’y may asawa na. At palagay ko magpapatuloy ito hanggang sa pagtanda ko. Alam ko malapit ang puso ng Dios sa mga bata at alam ko rin na ang Special Education ay isa sa mga paraan ng Dios para matulungan ang mga batang nabuhay ng may kapansanan. I know the Lord sees the challenges, the frustration and the pain that these kids, who are innocent, go through pati ng mga magulang nila. Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng ito, ito rin naging reminder ko:
“Many are the plans of man, but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail. (Proverbs 19:21)”
Sa ngayon patuloy akong nananalangin for the Lord’s instructions, guidance and provision. And yet I have faith na saan man ako dalhin ng Dios kahit pa sobrang kabaligtaran sa mga plano at pinapangarap ko ang mangyari, buo tiwala ko na it is for my own good at ‘di lang para sa akin, kundi para na rin sa asawa ko at sa mga magiging anak namin. Nagtitiwala ako na hindi man matupad itong pangarap ko in my lifetime, I have hope na nariyan ang opportunity na ang magiging anak ko ang posibleng mag-sakatuparan at tumupad ng mga pangarap na ito kung ito ay alinsunod sa will ng Panginoon at kung ito rin ang kanyang calling o misyon.
Sa ngayon, binigay sa akin ng Dios ang asawa ko. This means that whatever happens, sya ang pangalawa sa priority ko after ni God.
Ikaw kapatid, anong mga plano mo sa buhay ang inaalay mo sa Dios na bigyan ka ng gabay? Continue praying, God hears and answers. 🙂
“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28
I have often asked myself that question before I got saved. Like a thousand times over. And they soon lessened bit by bit when I devoted much of my time reading the bible and in praying. Soon after, answers were given, not all at the same time. Some were shown right away, some remained as silent as they are. But one thing is clear – there is a mission.
As I was reading more of the bible every single day, I realized that there is one common mission for all – to spread the Word. Same way as Jesus did when He was sent in this world. It is just a matter of choosing in what manner did God call you to spread the Word.
What I will be writing, as with everything I have put here in this blog, are all personal opinions. Anyone is free to contest or agree. But I am hoping it’ll strike somehow a new perspective in each and everyone of us.
As of right now, we all have certain roles that we are currently fulfilling – a daughter, student, employee, boss, etc. Those that were preset so to speak – roles that do not come from our own choices. We didn’t choose to be born a daughter or a son, nor when we got hired, nor was it our choice to go to nursery school as soon as we learn how to read or when we got promoted, etc. But there are those that require a major decision making, a point of seeking. And that includes our mission, our purpose – one that deals with a lot of contemplating before finally making a choice. I am sure more or less we wonder or there is that moment in your life you asked yourself, “What am I living for?”
How do you find out what and where does God want you to share His Word?
In my case, it is in my interests. Tapping the things that I find joy doing is where I found God’s mission for me. We cannot say however that that is where everyone will find their mission too. There are those who found it in their line of work, in school, at home or overseas. It could be anything and anywhere actually. But one thing’s for sure, it is from somewhere and something that your heart is closely attached to, something that gives you fire and passion. For it is the heart that God is after in us, not our background, what we have or have accomplished.
Contemplating usually leads to knowing your deeper sense of self. It gives you that moment of looking and searching the very depths of your soul, of who you are. But a word of caution should be taken here – our selves can be one avenue where the enemy can trap us with deception and lies such as making us feel worthless, brooding on self pity, feeling inadequate, insecure, and a whole lot of negative perceptions that can hamper the good image that God wanted us to have with ourselves.
When I got saved, it wasn’t just a spiritual reawakening for me but more about rediscovering myself in the light. Something that I am unaware all these years – of things that have lain dormant. Only when the Spirit’s tapped your inner being can you claim that God has magnificently and uniquely created you not just as an individual but as His daughter/son.
When we seek God’s purpose and mission for our lives, He will give us everything that we need to prepare us for that mission. Opportunities will be given and circumstances will work in a way that we know only God can do and is capable of.
But my greatest advice is this:
Never compare yourself to others, what others do and what they have accomplished. You will never get the chance to know yourself more if you are busy knowing the lives of others and trying to live the lives they live. Do not say “I want to be like that too.” Instead pray and say, “God, how do you want to use me?”
Keep in mind that God has something unique in store just for each and everyone of us. Same way that He has chosen a special partner in life just for you if it is His will you be married. We should always keep in our hearts that popularity and achievements are not included for it is not in God’s purpose for each and everyone of us to rely on them especially if it is not His name that is glorified in the process. As what the bible states,
But He gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.” – James 4:6
In all that we do, what we should foster is that of having a humble servitude. Do not think about what you will get in return from the service you have rendered but what good did others get from your service. Exactly like how Jesus Christ was able to complete His mission – serving the Lord God and the people of this world in HUMILITY.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up with honor.” – James 4:10
God knows we are weak. He knows we will be needing Him. What it takes to know God’s mission for us is to acknowledge boldly and courageously the fact that we are weak but will only be made strong through Him. When we are ready, there will be no stopping us, faith will have its voice in whatever medium it may be.
Do not fear failure, criticism, condemnation and suffering because of upholding to the mission appointed to us – the Cross will be our hope, peace and will be our guide. God never forsakes those who stood up to their faith until time will come to say our work is finished.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
Lastly, this is what “niche” means:
NICHE .noun.
– a shallow recess, especially one in a wall to display a statue or other ornament
The Journeyman's Moments 