The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
Everyday we are constantly bombarded with worries that already became natural of us – a bad habit actually.
I grew up with a lot of fears. I was brought up shielded in the comforts of our own home as a child knowing so little of the world outside. When I grew older, I brought it with me and it reflected in the decisions I make and have made.
So for now, allow me to categorize my fears according to my past, present and future:
Past
1. How will I be able to relinquish from it?
2. How can I keep it from affecting my present and future?
3. What if my past mistakes will be made known?
4. What if they continue to haunt me?
Present
1. What if one of these days I found out my partner cheated on me for the last couple of years that we were together?
2. What if I didn’t accomplish much before I get old?
3. What if I don’t bear children?
4. Am I credible enough to share the Gospel knowing that I am not perfect?
Future
1. What if I could not protect my children from the evil forces of this world and the negative influences?
2. What if I lose everything I have?
3. Will I be admitted in heaven when I die?
Those questions posit an image of me cowering in fear. If I am to illustrate it, it would look like this:
It is a bubble thought that is too huge it makes you feel smaller and smaller every minute that you think of it. And then when the weight becomes too unbearable, you now ask this:
“What can I do?”
Honestly, there is so little that we can do when it comes to our fears. For rereading those questions, you will realize that they don’t and cannot give us certain answers. That is, if what you mean by acting on it is finding a practical solution for it that you could apply.
As a born again Christian now, I still feel those nagging fears creeping inside me every now and then. I have mentioned before that worrying is a bad habit to break. And yet the only difference before and now when it comes to handling my fears is that I have a more grounded source of hope every time they start to get the best part of me by connecting with God through a prayer and the Scripture.
Allowing your fears to take control of you will only get you that far in life. It limits you, it takes the life out of you. Thus, in my social media accounts and even in my phone, this photo will sum up how it feels to live without fear and what you need to live that way. When I see it everyday, it assures me, it secures me and it gives me hope.
Nothing in this world is ever in our control – not even our own life. And it will stay that way for as long as we live. We are the ship, God is the captain who will steer us across waves of doubt and storms of fear and bring us to a place of peace. 🙂
And this verse will sum this all up:
John 1:5 NLT
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”
There is always this question that if a fairy gives you a chance to go back in time, what would you like to change. The answer is oftentimes a thing in the past that has to do with regret of not doing something you wanted to do either because you didn’t have time or you didn’t feel the need at that time.
The bible serves not just as our guide in daily living but more as a source of hope. I have found all the verses timely in moments of despair and yet it is in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-14 that I found my moment of surrender and peace always. Which means I read the verses always. 😉
I have thought about sharing these verses hoping they might help you too when the need arises.
A Time for Everything
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.”
I do not intend to tell the world about the second coming of Jesus in a way that most people know i. e. placards with those words written on it, preaching about how sinful men are, that our time is short, etc. for back when I was still a non believer, I used to treat them all nonchalantly with a little bit of contempt, cynicism and scorn. I may have received it that way but I didn’t know that the seed was already being implanted.
I believe those who preached the Good News this way in the past were God’s disciples called to do exactly that at that time. Now, I believe, God has a different set of tasks to the newly saved believers to continue the mission that those before us have left in our charge now. There was no social media at that time. 🙂
I don’t need to tell people anymore of what they already know – Jesus’ second coming is near. What I intend to do, on the other hand, is to share to people how it is to prepare for that second coming and the things that most people clearly do not understand. These are the things that are far too basic, far too common and yet most commonly misunderstood and oftentimes disregarded.
Which leads me to the concept of this very simple word: LOVE.
Love is the overused word in the dictionary that permeates with everything. It goes on with a lot of definitions, given in a whole lot of different contexts and manifested in a whole lot of different actions.
So why this word?
I may not understand how everything is interrelated in the following series of events that I will discuss but all I know is that they all centered on one common theme which is LOVE and I have to share them all because the Spirit has prodded me to.
Scenario 1
I lead a small bible study group in church of young, single, female professionals.
Scenario 2
I am in a relationship now and engaged to a fellow Christian.
Scenario 3
Dreams, signs and wonders.
For Scenario 1, it started through my coaching group when our coaching leader assigned chapters of The Purpose Driven Life to each one of us to discuss. It was my first time to read the book. I believe God intended I read it just now. It is this book that spearheaded my passion in fulfilling the mission that Christ has left for us to do. I used the chapters on missions as our discussion platform for my small group. Which led me to buying my own copy of the book but I ended up buying a different but somehow similar book also by Pastor Rick Warren called “Better Together: What on Earth Are We Here For?“.
Better Together by Ptr. Rick Warren
And it was also through this book especially with the first few chapters that led me to the concept of LOVE and what it means in God’s eyes which I am now discussing with my bible study group. To quote some passages:
“Life is all about love and developing relationships – with God and with other people. You may succeed in many areas, but if you fail to love God and love others, you’ll have missed the reason God created you and placed you in this planet.”
“Real love is placing the needs of others before your own. It is making your problem, my problem…It is giving to another without any guarantee of getting anything back. It is giving others what they need, not what they deserve. Although love can create feelings, love is not a feeling. It is a choice, an action, a way of behaving, a commitment. Love is sacrificing for others.”
I remembered a few days back, I saw one status update on my Facebook news feed that really touched me. I wanted to share it at that time but something held me back so I just saved the link. I didn’t know that I would be needing it now to emphasize more of the passages I have written above. It is a short film entitled “Blind Devotion.”
And this will lead us to my Scenario 2, my relationship with my fiance. He is not as devoted as I am, but I can feel that the seed is already there. God gave him to me at a time that both of us did not expect. I was a patient due for eye surgery and he was the nurse. Our love story started there and the rest was history. But as times passed by, we went through what every couple would go through – conflicts, happiness, rage, patience, forgiveness, hurt, pain, joy, laughter…every emotion, every situation – we went through them as a couple. We have been together as a couple for only a year but we have learned so much about each other, how to value a relationship and having God in it except for this: LOVE as how God would define it.
Then came a point I wanted to give him up, he wanted to give up too. We talked but still ended up together. Then he asked me this question, “What is it that makes you stay with me though I have hurt you so many times, you have suffered so much for me, I have made so many mistakes, I keep on failing you and yet you always forgive me? I want to know why.”
I was silent for a time and this thought came to me and I explained why I am like that to him is because of God and my love for Him. God loved us so much He gave us His only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins though we do not deserve it. I told him I want to honor my God that is why I want to honor the commitment and honor him by learning the art of God’s love expounded in 1 Corinthians 13.
This happened just yesterday and when I woke up today, I read my devotion of the day in Our Daily Bread and I broke into tears, because it was an affirmation that I said the right thing to my fiance. This was the bible verse:
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” – Matthew 18: 21-22
March 6 Devotion: ODB
God has forgiven us. So we, too, should forgive those who sinned against us. To quote yet again passages from “Better Together”:
“Jesus says we are to be to one another what He is to us. The love of Christ is self-less, sacrificial, and submitted to the Father’s will. His standard of love is personal – reaching out to the undeserving, looking past their faults and into the desperate needs of their hearts.”
This kind of love now leads us to Scenario 3 – dreams, signs and wonders. I have been having dreams about me and my fiance the past several days which are bad dreams that dealt with my fears of him doing what he is not supposed to do and yet I felt they were all too real in those dreams. I always wake up with a heavy feeling until this morning.
My dream was about my fiance and I and we were supposed to board a bus headed for Baguio City but we got separated because of the huge crowd of commuters. I hopped in on a van instead and was surprised to see my ex boyfriend inside. We chatted for a while but then I noticed the destination name plate of the van and it was headed for Laguna (both my ex and my fiance now reside there). I asked the driver to stop then hurriedly went down the van and waited beside the road for a bus to come along headed towards Baguio City.
Then came a group of women who looked familiar walking towards me but I haven’t seen them yet in real life. Found out they were also headed for Baguio City so we waited for a bus then when one came, we boarded the bus, which was like a 12-seater, and there were only a few of us inside. Then that’s the time I woke up.
The night before, one of the verses in my devotion was Matthew 13:36. I read it but was too sleepy I didn’t understand it clearly. When I woke up today, I felt the urge to reread the verse but I forgot the verse so I randomly chose Matthew 13:3 which led me to the parables. It was all about the harvest and almost the entire chapter are highlighted in red which I don’t normally see in the bible app that I am using. So it means, the chapter I am reading is very significant.
The Parable of the Farmer
It is not a coincidence that my Discipleship 2015 training in church tomorrow has a key verse which is all about the harvest and the ministry that I volunteer in, which is a community outreach ministry, has a training on Urban Farming come this Sunday.
Neither it is a coincidence that after my devotion when I woke up today and checked my phone, I got a notification from a friend of mine regarding a video that she shared with me on Twitter. Here it is:
I cried after watching it. Because I now know the significance of it all. Everything is now crystal clear to me. It is indeed near. And what God was telling me the past days about love is that it is this kind of love that we need to exert to bring more people closer to Him despite of the conflicts and the differences.
“God says we must DECIDE to love one another. We’re to love other believers regardless of how we feel about them or how unlovable they may appear. No matter how difficult it may seem, we’re to actively, consistently, and deeply love the believers God brings into our lives, our congregations – and our small group.” – Better Together
“As members of God’s family, we must choose to love, not who to love.” – Better Together
And I believe this is the message that God wanted for us to understand now. The second coming is near, the more that we have to exemplify what Jesus did extending His love not just to His disciples but to those who are least likely to be loved. Just like the way that God is using my relationship with my fiance to master having that kind of love that is of God’s and not our worldly definition of it. I have been stumbling upon random verses from different books in the bible that have his name in it since last week, which is Joseph. I even joked my fiance our first baby boy will be named Zaphen derived from Zaphenath – Paneah which is the Egyptian name that the Pharaoh gave to Joseph when he appointed him as leader of his officials. This was one of the bible stories I read just a couple of days ago.
The story of Joseph, the dream interpreter.
I now understand why God gave him to me – I am being prepared for a mission and as my mate, he too is being prepared by God because the time is near for the harvesters to harvest this land. My interpretation of my dream today was very overwhelming, I wept. I wept because I know what it means – the message is very clear.
My fiance and I are due for a road trip with his childhood friend and his girlfriend to Baguio City over the weekend. I have visited the place countless of times and it was during one of my hikes at La Trinidad in Benguet, a province in Baguio City, that I was completely amazed by God’s bountiful and beautiful creations at its best. I was on top of a very high mountain after a treacherous hike and what I saw in front me was what I called in my previous article as “heaven here on Earth” because you see nothing else but a sea of clouds. And for me, it was very symbolic of my faith. The treacherous hike, wherein I almost fell off a cliff, was a matter of pain, suffering, life and death. But if you were able to overcome it all, the Kingdom of Heaven is waiting for you above, on top of it and no amount of words could describe how it feels to be there.
Last 3/3 marked my 3rd year since I got saved as a Christian last 3/3/13. The movie Son of God was released on that date too. And this coming 3/13, which falls on a Friday, I have a great feeling it is going to be a significant date as well. The verse regarding the parables can be found in Matthew 13:3 too. Most of my daily verses that I encounter came from the Gospel of Matthew. I did my research and the Gospel of Matthew is considered by scholars as the summary of Jesus’ ministry. It tells of Jesus sending His disciples to preach His Gospel to the whole world. It is also one of the four canonical gospels and it connects the old and the new testament. (wikipedia.org) I know for a non believer you will say it is all coincidence. But I say, as a believer, they are all signs from the Spirit.
Which led me to wonder on these passages written in that chapter:
“That is why I use these parables,
For they look, but they don’t really see. They hear but they don’t really listen or understand.” – Matthew 13:13
After these revelations, I only wept. And in between sobs, this was all I could utter in prayer:
“Lord help me to make them understand. Teach me to love them like how You have loved us.”
My brother is one of my spiritual mentors. He was the one who introduced me to the church and eventually to my faith. I know God appointed him to be that and I can attest through the role that my brother is playing in my life right now. He gave me a planner last year by Paulo Coehlo which contains quotations on life and faith. Each month has a designated character trait and last Christmas, he gave me the same planner. And now I know why. For this month, the character trait is this: COURAGE.
March: COURAGE
And this is the quotation for today:
“The only sin is a lack of LOVE. Be brave, be capable of LOVE, even if LOVE seems a treacherous, terrible thing. Take pleasure in LOVE. Take pleasure in VICTORY.”
The Valkyries by Paulo Coehlo
This may be the longest post I have written here on WordPress but I know every word here is all God’s plan because the mission for us all is starting to get clearer and He requires us to act on that mission. 🙂
Paulo Coehlo Planner 2015, The Holy Bible, Our Daily Bread, Better Together – my daily meal. 🙂
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela
Wisdom and knowledge are two different things. My small group in church led by our Victory group leader, Sheryl, shared a discussion on this two Sundays ago. Just to get to the basic definition of the two, knowledge is all about facts, wisdom is how you use those facts for good.
Nowadays, education is regarded by most as a tool to gain knowledge. My question is this – is wisdom being taught in schools as well? Or is it what most would say too – education happens everywhere. Learning so to speak. Or could it also be this – the school prepares, the society teaches. The school offers knowledge, society and life in general teach wisdom; theory for the former, application for the latter.
Concepts can be very passé. But time and circumstances can change them. I aim to educate people. I see myself doing more of what is in the photo below – extending educational services to those who do not have the privilege to be in schools in the future. I also am still in the stage of gaining knowledge to gain wisdom when I get the chance to be out in the field and apply them – prepare and equip first. The photo below was taken during our visit in the Badjao community in Davao City to observe how the community runs the Alternative Learning System.
Alternative Learning System in the Badjao Community in Davao City, Philippines
But I have one challenge to myself and to other educators – the bible, THE book of all books. Didn’t you know that even for us, adults, more can be learned from the bible? I believe I need not ask because that’s a given, a stated fact. Yes, a lot of articles and books are out there to teach us about a lot of things. But the basic foundations of learning can be found in the bible.
A lot have interpreted the bible. A lot have quoted the verses. Some used it to condemn. Some used it to glorify. I have no right to judge and say who said it right, who interpreted it wrong. Because I personally believe they are all correct. I do, however, think that the bible was created to serve as our personal guide and as a reminder when we tend to be dissuaded every now and then from our good faith and in our beliefs. But it is still through God where we can gain greater wisdom. Read the bible, ask God in a prayer to reveal what He meant by those verses that you have read. Share your testimonies and experiences, back it up with the bible verses. In other words, pattern the knowledge acquired from the world through the bible.
Culture wise, it is difficult to incorporate everything – Christianity, scientific knowledge, and wise, practical ways into one bundle and be rest assured that all is learned. It is a constant dilemma, a difficult proposition, a challenging task. This is where I hope to seek wisdom, this is how I seek wisdom. Thus, I go back to the highest and superior mentor and teacher, I ask God. But God most likely will say – the first thing that I wanted you to learn is this – patience. Have that and then you will have your answers. They will be revealed to you at the right time.
Thus, I end this article, I keep quiet and I wait. 🙂