The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
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Everyday we are constantly bombarded with worries that already became natural of us – a bad habit actually.
I grew up with a lot of fears. I was brought up shielded in the comforts of our own home as a child knowing so little of the world outside. When I grew older, I brought it with me and it reflected in the decisions I make and have made.
So for now, allow me to categorize my fears according to my past, present and future:
Past
1. How will I be able to relinquish from it?
2. How can I keep it from affecting my present and future?
3. What if my past mistakes will be made known?
4. What if they continue to haunt me?
Present
1. What if one of these days I found out my partner cheated on me for the last couple of years that we were together?
2. What if I didn’t accomplish much before I get old?
3. What if I don’t bear children?
4. Am I credible enough to share the Gospel knowing that I am not perfect?
Future
1. What if I could not protect my children from the evil forces of this world and the negative influences?
2. What if I lose everything I have?
3. Will I be admitted in heaven when I die?
Those questions posit an image of me cowering in fear. If I am to illustrate it, it would look like this:
It is a bubble thought that is too huge it makes you feel smaller and smaller every minute that you think of it. And then when the weight becomes too unbearable, you now ask this:
“What can I do?”
Honestly, there is so little that we can do when it comes to our fears. For rereading those questions, you will realize that they don’t and cannot give us certain answers. That is, if what you mean by acting on it is finding a practical solution for it that you could apply.
As a born again Christian now, I still feel those nagging fears creeping inside me every now and then. I have mentioned before that worrying is a bad habit to break. And yet the only difference before and now when it comes to handling my fears is that I have a more grounded source of hope every time they start to get the best part of me by connecting with God through a prayer and the Scripture.
Allowing your fears to take control of you will only get you that far in life. It limits you, it takes the life out of you. Thus, in my social media accounts and even in my phone, this photo will sum up how it feels to live without fear and what you need to live that way. When I see it everyday, it assures me, it secures me and it gives me hope.
Nothing in this world is ever in our control – not even our own life. And it will stay that way for as long as we live. We are the ship, God is the captain who will steer us across waves of doubt and storms of fear and bring us to a place of peace. 🙂
And this verse will sum this all up:
John 1:5 NLT
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”
Far too often read and said in any faith-motivating speech or article. And yet I only got to take in the gist of it all now in this season.
God breaks our hearts open so we could become vulnerable. It is through our vulnerability that we become aware of our weaknesses. In our weaknesses we then become aware that we need a God who will help us overcome them weaknesses.
In this moment of vulnerability we are put in a crucial spot of choosing whether to let the enemy deceive us and win or choose God and be guided.
Oftentimes the enemy’s powerful weapon is deception and his perfect tool to accomplish it is your past. Sometimes your past will come again just before your eyes. And you have two things in your hand:
1. You let it destroy your present by feeling guilty and shameful once again.
OR.
2. You can choose to dismiss it because you are now free and forgiven – if you have been saved already.
I must say I was bordering number 1 to the point that my faith began to slacken. Fear overtook and then it just dawned on me that I haven’t attended church for a while now due to commitments, a busy schedule and a lot of intervening factors that I didn’t see them coming including the conflicts in my personal relationships that aggravated the disconnect in faith.
But God is faithful. He doesn’t give you something wherein that something will be of no good use to you. He sometimes uses them in circumstances that you least likely expect. I shared to my fiance the feeling of disconnection I have lately and that I feel I am not entitled to be in church anymore because my old self is coming back and he was also a witness of that. He has seen the kind of rage I used to have and the old bad habits overtaking me for the most part.
Yet it was him that I least expect to say that “the more that we have to go to church.” And I was shocked to hear it coming from him. Definitely not him whom I am urging to join a bible study group and a one to one discipleship so he would be born again but he declined saying it is not yet the perfect time. Not him whom I consider as not yet a devoted believer based on my own standards.
And yet again, God made me realize at that moment that my fiance is also my brother in Christ because he is His precious child too. It is not for me to judge why he has been given to me or whether he is the 1 or from the 99.
We went to church and once again I felt refreshed and renewed. But came more pressing issues, the wedding. Ideally, the engagement period should last for 6 months utmost according to the Marriage Preparation Seminar we attended in church. And this month is our 6th month as a couple. The temptation is getting strong but we cannot pull off a church wedding this year. Came another option – have a civil wedding.
But my constant question came out of fear – “Will I forever be unequally yoked?” There is no more turning back after the wedding – it is the real deal. They say that a husband/wife can make or break you. He wasn’t able to join a group in church whom he can consider as his spiritual family through his fellow brothers in Christ before we get married.
I was beginning to lose hope in connecting him with a spiritual family who would help him foster a deeper relationship with the Lord. Because I know I can never change Him and all God can through a spiritual family. It will never be enough that we attend church.
And while I was brooding over the options we have, asking God, praying to God, came a thought that never ever crossed my mind until now. When we get married, I will no longer be attending my bible study group with fellow single sisters in Christ but will be joining a couples’ bible study group. Chances are high that he will be attending it with me. Because he knows how vital it is for me to attend a bible study group and I plan to have it before our usual church service. And that answers my question.
There is still hope that he will be saved.
And having this in mind, I can only shout praises of honor and glory to Him. Indeed, my little, human mind will never ever grasp God’s bigger plans and what is to come. I can only wait when He instructs and reveals all in His perfect time. I asked him a couple days ago if he is interested to join a couple’s bible study group and he said, “yes.” And for now, what I can only do is continue praying that God will keep His beautiful promises for us both as a couple and that we may grow spiritually together along and through other fellow couples in Christ. 🙂
Indeed, the way that every person is saved is very different from the other. I was so clueless before and so focused on the problem that I never noticed God is showing me there is ALWAYS hope through Jesus Christ who is the way, the truth and the light. And now I understand too why when I had my bible study group for fellow single sisters in Christ, I have a co leader. She will be taking in charge of the group when the right time comes for me to leave the group. It will be heartbreaking but I am also praying I get to keep my fellowship with them even if I’m in a new season already.
I was in utmost humility as I suddenly remembered this verse all through this:
Matthew 8:26
” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then He got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.”
Indeed, I have so little faith and yet I am always and forever will be grateful God is faithful, He gives me PEACE, He provides me EVERYTHING and never fails in keeping His promises. His LOVE endures forever though I do not deserve it. It is time I grow my faith bigger in this season. I have read in Rick Warren’s book that we have to set aside our own personal agenda and focus on loving other people more not looking on who they were and who they are now but rather on who they can be.
I cannot tell for certain what I know is what will happen. For I cannot see the plans of God. And yet it is just comforting to know that God is and will be with me along the way. He just not give me signs and verses from the Scripture but importantly, I can feel that the Spirit is leading the way. I know that like how Jesus completed His mission, so too are we going to carry our own “cross.” And what I have shared may be what I have to carry for now. The following verses reminded me that:
Matthew 16:24 NLT
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”
Matthew 7:14 NLT
“But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.”
And an even GREATER reminder – OBEDIENCE:
1 Samuel 15:22 NLT
“But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord : your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice?
Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”
I believe this is what God meant to be really free and forgiven. And I can only pray that I’d be successful in completing the mission of glorifying Him, making Him known until the time comes I can also say that “it is finished.” 🙂
In season. Tropical fruits are all in season ready for harvest during the month of May. As a month-ender, I decided to write this article for they reminded me of only one thing: the altar call. What is an altar call? Contrary to popular belief, it is not just reserved for pastors or priests. Oftentimes it is referred in the most common term which is “a calling.”
As I was reading my devotion, came the idea that not all are called to do certain missions based on our spiritual gifts but all were called to bring God glory by sharing the Gospel. Sharing the Gospel always follows after a public declaration of your acceptance of Jesus Christ as your Savior and a commitment to obey the Word. Sharing your testimony, so to speak.
For it was written:
2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
This happens after being born again through the water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit. But this only follows after the altar call. I do not really consider myself as part of any religious organization or fellowship but just to give honor to the spiritual family who made my salvation possible, I’d be discussing my own experience how I got saved in our church. I have already shared in my previous articles how I got saved but not in particular the first step I did towards that salvation.
Speaking from my own experience, one reason why an unbeliever goes to church is because you are seeking for answers. Probably you are in a very low situation in your life and problems simply just took its toll and gained full control of your life – a state of chaos and confusion. Emotionally you are hopeless, helpless, depressed and in a lot of pain. That was what I am before the altar call.
The altar call is yes, a calling. It is that time during church service and everyone is worshipping that you will feel the tugging in your heart of the Spirit. It is something that is unexplainable for it can only be felt. During the worship while everyone was singing, I had this strong urge to let all my sorrows out and pass on the burden to someone. Later did I realize that that someone was the Spirit who lifted them for me, made me walk towards the altar when asked who wanted to surrender their life to Christ, crying my heart out and feeling every single word in the worship song that we were singing at that time along with fellow believers.
The worship song that we were singing was Unending Love and it was the right song at the right moment. A swarm of fellow believers followed suit and only a few remained in their tables. We were all there crying and it was not because we were all emotionally unstable but because the Spirit led us there and all of us were feeling burdened at that time and at the point of losing all hope – a state of sincere repentance and absolute surrender. We were blessed at that moment right in front of the altar and the church leaders prayed for us.
Bit by bit, the load begun to get lighter and lighter until almost after the praying was done, I felt as if my heart was already whole, complete, light and burden-free – complete freedom, a renewed self. I was having my One to One Discipleship with my bible study group leader at that time which is a more focused approach in preparing you for your water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit. The last two will culminate your salvation and your transformation. It is more like counseling and therapy. Except that you are discussing everything spiritually and the transformation comes from the person’s own free will to change guided by the Spirit’s leading.
Salvation is always an act of surrender. Repentance is the key followed by acceptance of a Savior in your life. No one else can lift your burden for you; otherwise, you wouldn’t be in church in the first place if you have found the solution to your problems and the answers to your questions someplace else. But then, God will not give you right away the answers you have been needing nor the solution to your problems but He will give you PEACE.
It is only through peace that you will be able to hear His instructions well which contain the answers you are looking for and the solution to your problems. Sometimes it comes through trust, patience, discipline and a whole lot of values and character traits that He wanted us to acquire first. One thing that an altar call makes possible is opening a door to establishing a firm and personal relationship with our God, the Father, through His Son Jesus Christ. Achieving peace during the altar call though you felt you have been burdened to death will give you the peace in every burden that you will carry in the future.
Because you now know that there is a God who hears, who loves and who saves. With Him, nothing is impossible. That is the assurance that an altar call, that God and what Jesus did for us on the Cross represent – HOPE.
And only when you are in season will you know the real essence of an altar call. For it is only then that the Lord will call you to make a lasting commitment with Him by accepting the gift of salvation – this is a personal encounter with the Lord.
The right time will come to make the harvest – when it is in season, ripe and ready to be caught when it falls. 🙂
1. Never ask your boyfriend/husband “Ms. Universe” questions when he is sleepy or about to sleep because he’ll surely give you either an answer he didn’t mean, he will give you a silent response or he will sleep grumpy.
2. Men hate bringing a big, bulky and heavy baggage if there is no need so most likely he will hate you for bringing your whole room and your whole world inside your bag every time you have a date and he’ll have to carry it.
3. When you ask them how’s your cooking and it is bad, they’ll give you uncertain answers – neither a yes or a no but if it’s good they’ll shout a “Busog!” afterwards even if you don’t ask them how was it.
4. Men don’t care if they accidentally worn their shirt inside out even if you tell them they have worn it the wrong way.
5. Don’t let them ask for directions, they will just continue getting lost or they’ll ask a different question.
6. They hate nail polishes that only 1/8 are remaining on your nails.
7. With the 1 thousand not-so-important things you have told him, only about 10 will he remember.
8. They love tinkering new stuff without reading the manual first.
9. They just love inventing their own lyrics of a song.
10. Waking them up is not a problem. They cope well even if it is a disturbed sleep.
P.S.
Men pray short, concise prayers. Women pray long, dramatic prayers. 😉
(This article does not totally represent men in general. I arrived with these conclusions as observed from the men in my life: my Dad, my brother and my fiance.) 🙂
A battle of the sexes a.k.a. understanding the female psyche it is. But then, there cannot be a comparison at all – men and women were created differently. And yet, I have the following questions for us to ponder:
1. How do you become gentle when you have been trained in your university as a college student to be assertive and to be outspoken in your thoughts and opinions?
2. How do you learn to be dependent when you have been taught as a kid to survive for survival’s sake?
3. How can you be submissive when you have been used to living alone taking matters in your own hands i. e. decision making, responsibilities at home, planning, etc.?
4. How do you follow when you have been trained to take the lead?
5. How do you unlearn everything you have learned?
It was all written in the Scripture what a woman’s role clearly is – the Proverbs 31 woman. And as much as it is not my duty to question a law that has been made hundreds of centuries ago, I can’t help but wonder if such laws are still applicable today if a lot of things have already changed in context – socially, culturally and politically.
The definition of what a woman is and should be has radically changed all throughout the years. Thus, could there be a possibility that some pre-conceived notion of gender may already be considered as irrelevant today? Or a paradigm shift is required to re-align our thoughts to what was previously dictated?
Questions. They need not be answered. Or perhaps they will be answered. It is all just, once again, a matter of waiting.
Culture has a way of creating ideals and mind sets that in time become a barrier too solid to break. For a man it is, but with God, it is possible. Just like how things were before, now and in the times to come. 🙂
Yup, it was so full. Not about April Fool’s Day though. 😉
If you have noticed, I don’t have an entry for the entire month of April. That is because I was swamped with a lot of activities last month, I only got to “breathe” and check my blog now. I still am a bit busy but not as hectic as compared with the sched last month.
So first things first.
My sister arrived from Norway and decided we have a family outing and relaxation this summer. But before that, we met one of our titos, my Dad’s brother, Tito Cesar and my cousin Arra for a get together/ lunch at Escolta then the day after it was followed by a family dinner with the family of my brother’s wife.
Lunch with Tito Cesar and Arra at Escolta. 🙂
Dinner with the Silvestre family at Pinac restaurant. 🙂
Pinac Family Day
For our family summer outing this year, my eldest sister chose Luljetta Hanging Gardens located at Antipolo as she personally knows the owner and it is just an hour away from the busy metro.
My eldest sister, Ate Faye. 🙂
One of their infinity pools. This one is the biggest.
When we got to the place, I fell in love with it. The scenery may not be as spectacular as I have expected but if you opt for a quiet place where you could commune with nature and be rejuvenated, this is exactly the place to be.
He is…errr…uhmm….contemplating? Perhaps. 😀
Side of the infinity pool.
Restaurant that caters local and international cuisines.
The Zen lounge.
A place to sit and relax.
I recommend this if you, your friends or families intend to have a retreat. There are quotations and phrases that uplift the heart and soul as you pass by the trail.
The garden.
Love is….
Uplifting quotations everywhere.
Guessing by its name, the spa and hanging gardens were carved and placed right on the side of a mountain. It was the architecture of the place that, for me, made it awesome.
But there is one restriction though that this place may posit – there are trails that are far too steep, it will not be convenient to those who are old enough to climb a hundred stairs.
Steep stairs, by the cliff.
Reading nook.
Cabana
The jacuzzi.
Sauna and jacuzzi.
The other infinity pool. This is perfect for kids.
Inside the Buddha’s lounge.
Intricate interiors made from raw local materials.
The way to the lounge.
But the good thing is that if you wish to use the spa only, it is easily accessible by anyone. Only the infinity pools, the sauna, the hydromassage pool and the Dr. Fish are situated right down below the hotel. Their restaurant is also located at the terrace of the hotel.
One of the Dr. Fish pools.
Hydromassage Pool
Hydromassage Pool
There goes the heavy downpour! 🙂
Hydromassage pool.
Bubbles are everywhere. 😉
Perfect for back aches.
Lunch time.
Adobo.
The hydromassage pool and Dr. Fish are new to me so it was the first thing that we tried when we got there. It was a very funny experience for us so I took a video of all the fun. 😉
The hydromassage pool can be compared to a big jacuzzi and there are two bars that have rainshowers-like splatters pouring out. I wasn’t able to experience getting drenched under a heavy downpour, not even when I was a kid, so this experience was one of the most memorable I must say. 😉
The place is perfect for couples as well on a honeymoon as geographically, you won’t be able to see other visitors coming here and going there except perhaps during the peak season.
We were able to have our spa session a few minutes before the sunset. So we chose the outdoor massage and they usually conduct the session in a nipa hut of your choice beside the cliff overlooking the cityscape. It is just the perfect time to relax before dinner time or in the case of my parents, they scheduled a session a couple of hours before bedtime.
Our merienda, one of Antipolo’s delicacies paired with lemon grass iced tea before the spa session.
Goodbye city life for now.
It is spa time. 🙂
The outdoor massage nipa huts.
Flowery
The restaurant at Taktak Hall.
Another first-time experience that I had is being in a seat that goes up and makes a full 360 rotation. It is called Dream Twister and one of the newest attractions at SM Mall of Asia.
Sunset walk before trying the Dream Twister. 🙂
My fiance and I are always up for challenging activities and so I asked him if we could try it together. And of course, how could he say no? 😉
So up we went and it was the most exhilirating experience I have had. I think it is even challenging than doing bungee jumping or sky diving because the seats rotate then goes up and down, fast and slow. Imagine being held by a giant while he is walking and he is swaying his arms – that is the exact feeling. It was so fun I definitely will try it again. 🙂
Let the FUN BEGIN!!! 😀
And of course, the highlight for the month of April was my brother’s military wedding. I have been one of their witnesses how their union as a couple started. They met through the singles’ getaway in one of our churches, Victory Fort, and as they say, the rest is history.
My sister-in-law is my brother’s first girlfriend and I have so much admiration for my brother for he stayed true to his commitment when he told me that his first girlfriend will also be his last as she will be the one he is going to marry.
Here are some photos during one of the best milestones of their lives together as a couple:
Me and my sisters, Ate Ayn and Ate Abeden. 🙂
The princesses of the Ginete family. 🙂
All the ladies in the house. 😉
The Ginete fam bam. 🙂
My mom. 🙂
The Casis family missing the owner of the uniform. 😉
Me and my ever goofy fiance. 😀
The retired civil engineer and retired grade school teacher – my parents. 😉
I believe that it is also God who fulfilled that commitment for him until come that day wherein my brother is now in front of God making one of his greatest commitments – the Holy Matrimony.
I just feel blessed and grateful that I now look up to them as the couple who may not have the perfect relationship but persevered to keep it in reverence to the Lord and His beautiful promises for both of them.
Having said that, I will leave you with this video which captured their most special moment that no words could describe. 🙂
I do not intend to tell the world about the second coming of Jesus in a way that most people know i. e. placards with those words written on it, preaching about how sinful men are, that our time is short, etc. for back when I was still a non believer, I used to treat them all nonchalantly with a little bit of contempt, cynicism and scorn. I may have received it that way but I didn’t know that the seed was already being implanted.
I believe those who preached the Good News this way in the past were God’s disciples called to do exactly that at that time. Now, I believe, God has a different set of tasks to the newly saved believers to continue the mission that those before us have left in our charge now. There was no social media at that time. 🙂
I don’t need to tell people anymore of what they already know – Jesus’ second coming is near. What I intend to do, on the other hand, is to share to people how it is to prepare for that second coming and the things that most people clearly do not understand. These are the things that are far too basic, far too common and yet most commonly misunderstood and oftentimes disregarded.
Which leads me to the concept of this very simple word: LOVE.
Love is the overused word in the dictionary that permeates with everything. It goes on with a lot of definitions, given in a whole lot of different contexts and manifested in a whole lot of different actions.
So why this word?
I may not understand how everything is interrelated in the following series of events that I will discuss but all I know is that they all centered on one common theme which is LOVE and I have to share them all because the Spirit has prodded me to.
Scenario 1
I lead a small bible study group in church of young, single, female professionals.
Scenario 2
I am in a relationship now and engaged to a fellow Christian.
Scenario 3
Dreams, signs and wonders.
For Scenario 1, it started through my coaching group when our coaching leader assigned chapters of The Purpose Driven Life to each one of us to discuss. It was my first time to read the book. I believe God intended I read it just now. It is this book that spearheaded my passion in fulfilling the mission that Christ has left for us to do. I used the chapters on missions as our discussion platform for my small group. Which led me to buying my own copy of the book but I ended up buying a different but somehow similar book also by Pastor Rick Warren called “Better Together: What on Earth Are We Here For?“.
Better Together by Ptr. Rick Warren
And it was also through this book especially with the first few chapters that led me to the concept of LOVE and what it means in God’s eyes which I am now discussing with my bible study group. To quote some passages:
“Life is all about love and developing relationships – with God and with other people. You may succeed in many areas, but if you fail to love God and love others, you’ll have missed the reason God created you and placed you in this planet.”
“Real love is placing the needs of others before your own. It is making your problem, my problem…It is giving to another without any guarantee of getting anything back. It is giving others what they need, not what they deserve. Although love can create feelings, love is not a feeling. It is a choice, an action, a way of behaving, a commitment. Love is sacrificing for others.”
I remembered a few days back, I saw one status update on my Facebook news feed that really touched me. I wanted to share it at that time but something held me back so I just saved the link. I didn’t know that I would be needing it now to emphasize more of the passages I have written above. It is a short film entitled “Blind Devotion.”
And this will lead us to my Scenario 2, my relationship with my fiance. He is not as devoted as I am, but I can feel that the seed is already there. God gave him to me at a time that both of us did not expect. I was a patient due for eye surgery and he was the nurse. Our love story started there and the rest was history. But as times passed by, we went through what every couple would go through – conflicts, happiness, rage, patience, forgiveness, hurt, pain, joy, laughter…every emotion, every situation – we went through them as a couple. We have been together as a couple for only a year but we have learned so much about each other, how to value a relationship and having God in it except for this: LOVE as how God would define it.
Then came a point I wanted to give him up, he wanted to give up too. We talked but still ended up together. Then he asked me this question, “What is it that makes you stay with me though I have hurt you so many times, you have suffered so much for me, I have made so many mistakes, I keep on failing you and yet you always forgive me? I want to know why.”
I was silent for a time and this thought came to me and I explained why I am like that to him is because of God and my love for Him. God loved us so much He gave us His only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins though we do not deserve it. I told him I want to honor my God that is why I want to honor the commitment and honor him by learning the art of God’s love expounded in 1 Corinthians 13.
This happened just yesterday and when I woke up today, I read my devotion of the day in Our Daily Bread and I broke into tears, because it was an affirmation that I said the right thing to my fiance. This was the bible verse:
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” – Matthew 18: 21-22
March 6 Devotion: ODB
God has forgiven us. So we, too, should forgive those who sinned against us. To quote yet again passages from “Better Together”:
“Jesus says we are to be to one another what He is to us. The love of Christ is self-less, sacrificial, and submitted to the Father’s will. His standard of love is personal – reaching out to the undeserving, looking past their faults and into the desperate needs of their hearts.”
This kind of love now leads us to Scenario 3 – dreams, signs and wonders. I have been having dreams about me and my fiance the past several days which are bad dreams that dealt with my fears of him doing what he is not supposed to do and yet I felt they were all too real in those dreams. I always wake up with a heavy feeling until this morning.
My dream was about my fiance and I and we were supposed to board a bus headed for Baguio City but we got separated because of the huge crowd of commuters. I hopped in on a van instead and was surprised to see my ex boyfriend inside. We chatted for a while but then I noticed the destination name plate of the van and it was headed for Laguna (both my ex and my fiance now reside there). I asked the driver to stop then hurriedly went down the van and waited beside the road for a bus to come along headed towards Baguio City.
Then came a group of women who looked familiar walking towards me but I haven’t seen them yet in real life. Found out they were also headed for Baguio City so we waited for a bus then when one came, we boarded the bus, which was like a 12-seater, and there were only a few of us inside. Then that’s the time I woke up.
The night before, one of the verses in my devotion was Matthew 13:36. I read it but was too sleepy I didn’t understand it clearly. When I woke up today, I felt the urge to reread the verse but I forgot the verse so I randomly chose Matthew 13:3 which led me to the parables. It was all about the harvest and almost the entire chapter are highlighted in red which I don’t normally see in the bible app that I am using. So it means, the chapter I am reading is very significant.
The Parable of the Farmer
It is not a coincidence that my Discipleship 2015 training in church tomorrow has a key verse which is all about the harvest and the ministry that I volunteer in, which is a community outreach ministry, has a training on Urban Farming come this Sunday.
Neither it is a coincidence that after my devotion when I woke up today and checked my phone, I got a notification from a friend of mine regarding a video that she shared with me on Twitter. Here it is:
I cried after watching it. Because I now know the significance of it all. Everything is now crystal clear to me. It is indeed near. And what God was telling me the past days about love is that it is this kind of love that we need to exert to bring more people closer to Him despite of the conflicts and the differences.
“God says we must DECIDE to love one another. We’re to love other believers regardless of how we feel about them or how unlovable they may appear. No matter how difficult it may seem, we’re to actively, consistently, and deeply love the believers God brings into our lives, our congregations – and our small group.” – Better Together
“As members of God’s family, we must choose to love, not who to love.” – Better Together
And I believe this is the message that God wanted for us to understand now. The second coming is near, the more that we have to exemplify what Jesus did extending His love not just to His disciples but to those who are least likely to be loved. Just like the way that God is using my relationship with my fiance to master having that kind of love that is of God’s and not our worldly definition of it. I have been stumbling upon random verses from different books in the bible that have his name in it since last week, which is Joseph. I even joked my fiance our first baby boy will be named Zaphen derived from Zaphenath – Paneah which is the Egyptian name that the Pharaoh gave to Joseph when he appointed him as leader of his officials. This was one of the bible stories I read just a couple of days ago.
The story of Joseph, the dream interpreter.
I now understand why God gave him to me – I am being prepared for a mission and as my mate, he too is being prepared by God because the time is near for the harvesters to harvest this land. My interpretation of my dream today was very overwhelming, I wept. I wept because I know what it means – the message is very clear.
My fiance and I are due for a road trip with his childhood friend and his girlfriend to Baguio City over the weekend. I have visited the place countless of times and it was during one of my hikes at La Trinidad in Benguet, a province in Baguio City, that I was completely amazed by God’s bountiful and beautiful creations at its best. I was on top of a very high mountain after a treacherous hike and what I saw in front me was what I called in my previous article as “heaven here on Earth” because you see nothing else but a sea of clouds. And for me, it was very symbolic of my faith. The treacherous hike, wherein I almost fell off a cliff, was a matter of pain, suffering, life and death. But if you were able to overcome it all, the Kingdom of Heaven is waiting for you above, on top of it and no amount of words could describe how it feels to be there.
Last 3/3 marked my 3rd year since I got saved as a Christian last 3/3/13. The movie Son of God was released on that date too. And this coming 3/13, which falls on a Friday, I have a great feeling it is going to be a significant date as well. The verse regarding the parables can be found in Matthew 13:3 too. Most of my daily verses that I encounter came from the Gospel of Matthew. I did my research and the Gospel of Matthew is considered by scholars as the summary of Jesus’ ministry. It tells of Jesus sending His disciples to preach His Gospel to the whole world. It is also one of the four canonical gospels and it connects the old and the new testament. (wikipedia.org) I know for a non believer you will say it is all coincidence. But I say, as a believer, they are all signs from the Spirit.
Which led me to wonder on these passages written in that chapter:
“That is why I use these parables,
For they look, but they don’t really see. They hear but they don’t really listen or understand.” – Matthew 13:13
After these revelations, I only wept. And in between sobs, this was all I could utter in prayer:
“Lord help me to make them understand. Teach me to love them like how You have loved us.”
My brother is one of my spiritual mentors. He was the one who introduced me to the church and eventually to my faith. I know God appointed him to be that and I can attest through the role that my brother is playing in my life right now. He gave me a planner last year by Paulo Coehlo which contains quotations on life and faith. Each month has a designated character trait and last Christmas, he gave me the same planner. And now I know why. For this month, the character trait is this: COURAGE.
March: COURAGE
And this is the quotation for today:
“The only sin is a lack of LOVE. Be brave, be capable of LOVE, even if LOVE seems a treacherous, terrible thing. Take pleasure in LOVE. Take pleasure in VICTORY.”
The Valkyries by Paulo Coehlo
This may be the longest post I have written here on WordPress but I know every word here is all God’s plan because the mission for us all is starting to get clearer and He requires us to act on that mission. 🙂
Paulo Coehlo Planner 2015, The Holy Bible, Our Daily Bread, Better Together – my daily meal. 🙂
That was what my surgeon, Dr. Ang, would tell me when I had my femtosecond lasik surgery on both eyes as a study patient at Asian Eye Institute last November 2013. I was overjoyed upon hearing I passed the initial screening considering I am a myopic with a 7.50 grade on both eyes, a .25 astigmatism on my right eye and my test results confirmed I have a thin cornea. This proposed as a problem among the research team as any miscalculation during the surgery will be considered fatal. Yes, I am what eye experts would call as legally blind. It was my very first surgery and I was extremely nervous. It is actually very ironic because I have never been confined in a hospital, never loved the idea, and yet there I was having my eye surgery – 100% conscious. 🙂
My brother accompanied me to AEI and stayed there until the time came that I was ushered into the clean room 30 minutes prior to prepare for the procedure. Drops were placed on my eyes and I cannot give you the specifics as to what kind of drops they were. (Sorry, I am not a medical professional.) 😉
While waiting, I saw nothing except for a blur because I am not wearing my eyeglasses anymore. I was sitting pretty and comfy then my name was called. A nurse guided me inside the operating room and I could not even see where the procedure will take place. Oh poor eyesight, poor me indeed.
I just sat and lied down where they instructed me and I sort of relied on my other senses for most of the session – sense of touch most definitely and my sense of hearing. Then I heard my doctor’s voice explaining what we are about to go through and I just nodded staring at the ceiling. Or something else? I am not so sure as I really could not tell because everything was really a blur.
Then came the squishy water poured over my eyes and I could see a bright light, probably the ones used during surgical procedures. A machine hovered over my eyes and I felt pressure. They did this for each eye then I saw a thin piece of metal being inserted to clip my eyelids which would prevent my eyes from closing during the operation. Then more liquid came gushing into my eyes and what I remembered next was a very thin and tiny piece of rod used to scrape my cornea and to lift it up.
After they did this, I totally saw nothing. It was all white, not even silhouettes or shadows. Then came Dr. Ang’s words reminding me to look at the red light. That was the time they started using the laser to correct the shape of my cornea and enhance my visual acuity. I could smell burning flesh. It is a good thing though I didn’t throw up but I am so close to panic mode with a heartbeat racing faster than the normal. Now this is probably the reason why Dr. Ang would always remind me to look at the red light. My eyes are trying to look for something. That was my first feeling on how it is to be completely blind. Almost complete darkness but I can see no lines, no movement, no anything except for a very faint red light from a distance which I so tried to search and focus on.
Just like the Truth and the Light.
Imagine yourself in a dark, deep pit. You see nothing around you, tried to grope around you but the darkness is too overwhelming it suffocates your entire being. It clings on to you as if of a cloak that you cannot just take off every time you want to. Then you see a very, very tiny light from afar. So tiny you would find it difficult to focus on.
BUT then again, you are too scared to let that light pass you by so you stared at it far too long. You reached out your hand to take hold of it so it wouldn’t escape you. Then just as sudden as you have reached out your hand, the light started to become bigger and bigger. Until you felt yourself being lifted slowly, bit by bit, out of that dark, deep pit.
Alas, you saw the light. You now see everything more clearly. And it was a wonderful feeling. Until now, it still is.
No longer will you settle to be surrounded by darkness but you will try harder to search for that light. Every time the claws of darkness will take hold of you, you try every effort and every ounce of strength in you to escape it. Because you know that “at the end of every tunnel there comes light.”
A guiding force will lead you out of the struggle – out of the pit, out of the darkness. A force that is more powerful than anything in this world. The force came in the form of a man. The man who, though was brought to pain and suffering, became the light that shone all through mankind. The light that can never be extinguished, that stood shining above all peril in all its darkness.
Jesus Christ was and is that Light.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6
He came to be with us, because He loved us first. As I savor in this light, I know my love for Him will be my passage to reclaiming that light in moments that it becomes dim. But I know for certain, it will never diminish and for as long as I see that light, there is hope. And I will cling on to that until the Lord’s work in me is done.
I live for only one thing – to glorify my God, the living Father. He lives in you and me. Do not depart from the light, seek it with all your heart. Then, you will know how it really feels to be saved and to be loved. 🙂
The Journeyman's Moments 