Little Shells, Little Shells

Little Shells, Little Shells

A hanging lamp made of tiny shells. This is a common native ornament found in coastal areas like my hometown in Bicol here in the Philippines. The design is very intricate and weaving these delicate shells is quite a challenge as you have to make sure they won’t chip or break as you try to form them into different patterns.

This lamp is about 1 foot and a half long and we usually use a yellow bulb to light it up. The tiny shell used in this lamp is about the size of your pinky fingernail. Quite amazing, isn’t it? 🙂

Pin-Tayo Painting Benefit Workshop @ Sip and Gogh

Tin Ginete

My Painting

Tin Ginete

Brian’s Painting

This was one superb painting workshop for a cause that Brian and I have pretty much enjoyed. It is like hitting two birds with one stone. This was my first painting session and it was a very memorable one. Praise be to God for this wonderful opportunity. 🙂

You can read more about our experience here:

http://www.wheninmanila.com/tabang-tambayan-pin-tayos-color-bursting-at-sip-and-gogh/

Tin Ginete

Brian and I with our finished paintings.

Backtrackin’ V-Day 2014

When nostalgia hits you, all you’ve got to do is press rewind and off you go to reminisce mode. Thus, this post. 😉

Before starting this article, I have one thing to ask:

Will the celebration of Valentine’s Day ever be possible without it being commercialized?

I can neither say I am guilty of that nor do I disapprove of it. For the sole reason that I intend to mash-up both ways in celebrating Valentine’s Day: the traditional and the contemporary. The genuine and the commercialized, so to speak. 😀

Let me enumerate why.

The common a.k.a. commercialized Valentine’s Day celebration include but is not limited to flowers, chocolates, gifts, and lavish dates. It involves meticulous and extensive planning weeks prior to the “big day.” Not to mention that it also requires resources: money, time and effort. What is good about them? It is considered a good investment in the relationship synonymous to this – the happiness of your significant other matters more than anything else. The only reason why it should be celebrated in such a manner – never because it is the fad and never because everyone does it. Deviate from the norm by regarding it differently. Remaking the ordinary to make it extraordinary as I put it. 😉

Which leads me now to the  traditional way of celebrating it, way back when our ancestors have no other means to celebrate it with their loved ones except through a simple but meaningful time spent together devoid of any material gift and lavish dates. I would like to stress out this word in this portion of the article – meaningful. Yes, that is far more important than anything else in every date. 🙂

So to backtrack….I found myself wondering. Was I successful in combining the two in celebrating Valentine’s Day with my special guys? YES. And I have God to thank for the opportunity as well as the provisions. He made it all happen. I dated two guys – Him and him.

God gave us the opportunity to spend Valentine’s Day in a very meaningful way, commercialized too but only to a minimum. 😉

It has been my tradition to watch any of the UP Feb fair concerts which usually falls on the week of Valentine’s Day. I was more than glad when our Managing Editor, Ms. Anj, gave the writing assignment to me to cover the event for When In Manila, an online publishing company where I am currently a writer. But the fun never stopped there, because the host of the Valentine’s Day concert was a Christian organization in UP, the UP Students of Destiny and Brian was free to attend the event with me. I don’t call it luck, I call it God’s plans. 😀

Read more about the concert and our superb time there here:

http://www.wheninmanila.com/kontrakultura-3-born-for-love-set-the-hearts-ablaze/

Tin Ginete

Brian and I with our couple hoodies at the Kontrakultura 3 concert grounds. 🙂

Surprises are never my thing, but I am getting used to it and loving it especially when they come from God and from the person you love. Yihee! 😀

Kidding aside now, before the concert, Brian and I met up and he gave me a rose, a very pretty one. But not only that. Along with it he handed me a work of art – a love message in the form of a poem. Though I must say he is trying to imitate my being a poetess. hahaha Kidding. 😉 (You’ve done such an amazing job by the way, baby! I love you to pieces. 🙂 )

Tin Ginete

Roses are red and poems are the sweetest.

The day after, February 15, Brian asked me if I can have a post V-Day dinner and movie date with him, to which I said yes of course but I also thought that something is lacking. I was looking for that real essence of what Valentine’s Day is really all about – selfless, meaningful love, a love that is not only revolving between Brian and I. I prayed to God and I asked for guidance and for answers. Then the answer came – spend it with the people who are close to you and who need your utmost love too. The first person who crossed my mind was Ate Daisy. She is the mom of the family whom I serve as a Family Support Volunteer for the Victory QC Community Outreach Ministry.

My admiration for Ate Daisy is beyond words. A mom of 4, raising her children on her own as her husband passed away two years ago, she is indeed the true modern “superwoman.” She carries that heavy responsibility of being both a father and a mother to her kids (2 of them are in college already), working 6 or 7 days in a week doing laundry to earn money and provide for her family. It was my first time to volunteer and I have a lot of apprehensions. My first question to God was this: how can I help them knowing that I don’t have the means sufficient enough to help them (financially, new in the faith, not enough experience, etc.)?

And yet, came His answer: your presence is enough. 🙂 

So there it was. When a message is being delivered from up above, I do nothing but follow. And I was surprised even more: I was given provisions to buy Valentine’s Day gifts for Ate Daisy and her family, the free time, and a willing companion – Brian. I was nothing more but the happiest. It was my first visit and yet it was the most memorable. We were able to visit Ate Daisy, who greeted us with all smiles, talked with her and asked her how she’s been doing. We left her feeling happy and grateful making us happy and grateful too. After the visit, we ended our Saturday with a dinner and movie date which Brian promised. (Thank you, thank you, baby.)

But I know that this is only the beginning of more meaningful moments, of sharing to the people we care about the beautiful promises of God. We have a faithful God and I will continue to be grateful to Him for that. 🙂

I was planning my next visit to Ate Daisy for this month but I couldn’t decide the exact date yet. I thought I’ll just pray to God and wait when will be His perfect time for it. I prayed that He would equip me. Two days ago, I received the answer, The Crossroads training for Family Support Volunteers will be held starting this week to equip us, volunteers, to better help the families assigned to us. The best part is that God arranged and cleared my schedule though I have several commitments so I could attend them all.  God makes things perfect in His time, indeed.

Oh, Father God, thank you so much! May praise and glory be given to You always. I cannot speak of anything else except that. You are my greatest blessing. 🙂

I am grateful to Him too for giving me my partner in my mission to help spread God’s greatness and His message. Just to share a little bit of the love message that Brian gave me (I can’t share everything as it is far too special. 😉 ) which became my prayer too by the way, here it is:

Tin Ginete

“Embrace us, oh Father, as we walk with You in our journey together.” – J. B. G. R.

And because it was a very memorable Valentine’s Day for me, not only because it is my first Valentine’s Day with Brian but because I intend to make the ordinary as extraordinary, I have thought about preserving one good memorabilia of that day: the ROSE. 😉

I have received roses before but not once did it cross my mind to preserve them. Not until now. So I looked up over the internet how to preserve them which includes hanging the rose upside down, and letting it dry for a couple of weeks. When completely dried, spray with a little bit of hairspray to keep the petals from falling off. I am planning to put it inside a glass container to keep the dust away from the petals as it is hard brushing the petals off without damaging any single one of them.

And here is a picture of my special rose before and after. 🙂

Tin Ginete

BEFORE and AFTER

The single rose, if you have watched The Phantom of the Opera, is a symbol and a reminder of the Phantom’s love for Christine (the leading lady in the movie).

This rose, for me (being Christine too), is my memorabilia of Brian’s love for me and a promise of my God’s amazing love too. Awww, I know. Please don’t kill me for being extremely mushy. hahaha 😀

Seriously, here is what I have to say, start loving my God too and you will never, ever regret you did that. 😉

It All Started at Sonya’s Secret Garden

Brian and I @ Sonya's Secret Garden

Brian and I @ Sonya’s Secret Garden

 

The romance that started in a secret garden. Do read ahead to find out how our love story started. 😀

Coffee table book.

Coffee table book.

 

I met him when I was selected to be one of the study patients of a research at the Asian Eye Institute. It was an answered prayer – for my eyesight to be healed. I have God to be extremely grateful for with this blessing. And yet, the “package” did not stop there. Little did I know that I am soon to be partnered with my nurse in this thing which we call “love.” Ah yes, the Lord our God is indeed the great matchmaker and composer of everything.

Okay, now this is the part where it gets cheesy and cheesier. You might as well grate me or just allow yourself to be melted away. 😀

I waited for 2 years before God orchestrated I meet him. But the wait never really mattered because I was passionately driven in pursuing a personal relationship with God and in serving Him in those two years that I was not in a relationship with anyone.

I am in love with what I am doing so to speak. That should be what comes first – serve God, find your mission, and then find your mate. I got saved, I started sharing my faith in my blog, then I met my bf.

But did you know that I turned Brian down the first time he asked me out on a date? 😀 Yes, I didn’t feel it right at that moment. Because hubby dear just got out of a relationship and I don’t want to be a part of it because I made it clear to him that if he intends to pursue me, then he should do so with a clean slate. 🙂

So I told him that no, I can’t entertain him romantically at that point because he should make peace with his past first. I went home to my province and I stayed there for more than a month. At that time we constantly communicated but I was firm that we can only be friends. And I challenged him that if he is not patient enough to wait for me, then it is all fine with me if he pursues someone else.

I was also straightforward in telling him that I do not wish to be in a relationship with him if his intention was to forget his old flame. He assured me that it is because he loves me. In fact, he professed his love for me right after our first date. Unbelievable, right? lol 😀 But my brother told me that you can never really tell when you will fall in love. It doesn’t have a time period, nor an exact moment, and it can just hit you out of the blue.

Well, that is love in its emotional state. But love is a decision. And I am after the latter that is why I never rushed my feelings for him. I have restrained myself to wait even though the attraction was already there the first time we met back in AEI.

Besides, I wanted to ask God first and make sure the relationship I am going to enter is the one that He wants for me. I wanted to do exactly that during the Prayer and Fasting in our church come the first week of January. I was still in my hometown during this time so I got to ask God clearly what are His answers and without distractions.

Would you believe that one of the signs that God sent me was through a friend and sister in Christ who texted me out of the blue during the Prayer and Fasting that she dreamt about me wearing a white gown? 😀

We were both confused about what it meant at that time and then I just had the realization later on. And nope, none of my friends knew Brian yet at this point because we’re not yet dating. But I knew the sign was not enough in making a decision, so I continued praying.

My failed relationships in the past, which was the reason for my salvation and being born again, taught me to never seek for love at the wrong places and with the wrong people by waiting for God’s perfect best. 🙂

Brian though is never perfect. He has his own weaknesses and personal struggles same as me. We are all a work in progress when it comes to being the persons that God wants us to be. But we both rejoice in what is good, in what we have learned, in learning and where we are happy the most – pure and genuine happiness because we know it makes our God happy too.

We both share some interests and I know that if I am to list down all the qualities, it will be endless. But just to name a few that really stood out when we were just getting to know each other, I’ll give a brief rundown:

  • We both love the color blue.
  • We love viands that are not sweet.
  • We prefer communing with nature than spend long hours at the mall.
  • We love the simple things.
  • And lastly, we enjoy each other’s company.

Now, that last part is the one thing that I love the most. Why? Because it only means I could get to be who I am when I am with him. We don’t care if we look silly at times or if we crack the silliest jokes mindless of other people who would think we are being overly “corny” or hilarious. No pretensions so to speak. He accepts my eccentricities (mildly put, not exactly the medical term) and vice versa. The same as our relationship with God. We have to be as sincere and as open to Him as possible, connecting every single moment of our lives with Him from the moment we wake up until the time we lay our heads down the pillow. A personal, loving, and lasting relationship – that is how we got to know Him more.

And that is how I got to know Brian more – a personal moment at a secret garden (that is not so secret at all because it is well-known among the locals and tourists alike). 🙂

 

Lovely blooms.

Lovely blooms.

The entrance to Sonya's restaurant.

The entrance to Sonya’s restaurant.

One of the lodges.

One of the lodges.

Morning Glory garden. The other two are The Conservatory and Sunflower.

Morning Glory garden. The other two are The Conservatory and Sunflower.

 

The place is very memorable to me. I have always been in love with gardens. They are my places of solace and comfort. I feel calm, at ease and more at peace with myself when I am surrounded by the best that nature could offer – simplicity.

 

Flower in bloom.

Flower in bloom.

Feeling like a princess. *wink*

Feeling like a princess. *wink*

The photographer taken by the photographer too.

The photographer was taken by another photographer too.

 

Though I dressed up too “colorful” for the date making me look like one of the flowers in the garden and making me wish I’d never worn something as vibrant as that, I pretty much enjoyed the ambiance of the place. It is very RELAXING. I didn’t skip the opportunity to take more photos of literally anything I could lay my eyes on.

 

Sonya's chair.

Sonya’s chair.

Coffee table book.

Coffee table book.

Birds of paradise.

Birds of paradise.

Superb drapery for their banquet hall.

Superb drapery for their banquet hall.

 

And yes, though they offer their menu in buffet style, you won’t feel too full afterward nor feel guilty for having eaten too much. They serve vegetarian dishes. Most of their dishes are very light and their pastas are not heavy on herbs and spices. Just a little bit of them to tease your palate. You have an option if you will have white or red sauce. Of course, how could I forget how Brian and I made fun of the chamomile hand wash/sanitizer because I thought it is just for decor of some sort or I will wash my veggie food there and I had to ask the waiter what is it used for (oh if embarrassment could kill, I’d be dead already. 😀 ). But it smells SOOO GOOOD!

 

The Menu.

The Menu.

Buffet corner.

Buffet corner.

Lettuce and arugula.

Lettuce and arugula.

Garnish your salad with a selection of fruits in season like mango and pineapple.

Garnish your salad with a selection of fruits in season like mango and pineapple.

There he is with his jicama/singkamas.

There he is with his jicama/singkamas.

Fresh flowers in a vase centerpiece.

Fresh flowers in a vase centerpiece.

Relaxing ambiance.

Relaxing ambiance.

 

I also love how they kept our bread warm. They rolled it in a piece of cloth (linen, I presume) and served it in a basket along with the spread and other spices. I love their salad dressings and spread, too! They offer quite A LOT of greens in their dishes which I absolutely relished. I am a veggie lover so I enjoyed making that munch and that crunch in my every bite of their salads. And to end it all, a nice serving of chocolate cake and tarragon tea.

 

Whole wheat sesame bread.

Whole wheat sesame bread.

Sonya’s Secret Salad Dressing, Balsamic vinegar/extra virgin olive oil, Parmesan cheese.

Sonya’s Secret Salad Dressing, Balsamic vinegar/extra virgin olive oil, Parmesan cheese.

Basil pesto, white cheese, anchovies, tomato salsa, mushroom pate, black olive tapenade, and fresh green peppercorn in olive oil.

Basil pesto, white cheese, anchovies, tomato salsa, mushroom pate, black olive tapenade, and fresh green peppercorn in olive oil.

Homemade choco cake.

Homemade choco cake.

Tarragon Tea

Tarragon Tea

 

Overall comment? It was a very happy and relaxing experience indeed. I adored every nook in Sonya’s garden. Aside from the restaurant, they also have the Panaderia and a store where you could buy goodies, memorabilia, and pasalubong for your friends and family. It is also a very suitable place for wedding receptions as they have a separate private venue for that near the restaurant.

 

The way to the comfort rooms.

The way to the comfort rooms.

Chandelier.

Chandelier.

Native finds.

Native finds.

Capiz hanging decor.

Capiz hanging decor.

Organic scents, trinkets and other good finds.

Organic scents, trinkets and other good finds.

For Wedding Receptions

For Wedding Receptions

The Walkway

The Walkway

The Panaderia

The Panaderia

Me trying the hat.

Me trying the hat which I have practically no use for. lol

 

I wished for my own home someday to be surrounded by lots of greenery too just like what we also have in our home in Bicol. I believe it is what makes every home a home – it looks natural, no too much synthetic ornaments.

Just like our relationship with God – you are more at ease with Him when it is genuine. 🙂

Every love story is created differently. But the one thing that they should all have in common is this – God at the center.

I believe I have to end this “date” on this note, for now, to save some memories for Brian and me to cherish. And this too, a poem which I made especially for him.

And this ends our cheesiness. 😀

 

A Blanket of Love by Tin Ginete

A Blanket of Love by Tin Ginete

P.S.

We ended the date by watching Ronin 47. Yes, how could I ever forget the last lines. Just the perfect cheesy but romantic lines to end this cheesy but romantic article. 😀

Kai (Keanu Reeves): I will search for you through 1000 worlds and 10000 lifetimes!

Mika (Ko Shibasaki): I will wait for you in all of them.

(Thank you so much for the wonderful time, for the lunch treat and movie date, Hon! I love you so much!)

Flowers and Hearts – Love is Enough

Sonya's Garden

Sonya’s Garden

This pot of flowers is not your ordinary pot. Why? Because what makes these flowers fascinating to me and special is the idea that they have stayed fresh though they have been picked out from their stems and now floating in what I call a temporary life support system – the pool of water. 🙂

Which made me think of love.

“How can you love if you are afraid to fall?” 

Nah, I am not going to talk about the sweet moments just like how love articles are all about. I am going to talk about the other side of love – when you fall. That is, the pain in loving caused by none other than the conflicts.

Conflicts are experienced by all who is in a relationship. Even married Christian couples go through conflicts. I, for one, experienced a conflict at the onset of our relationship. Well, the enemy does not choose a particular timeline nor a particular couple to attack. Everyone gets their own dose.

But I will not be talking of conflicts here in a manner wherein I regard them as a failure. In fact, I just want to share how these conflicts helped me and my boyfriend build my faith in God and establish trust in our relationship.

Now, TRUST is my biggest waterloo. I feared it. I have no courage to have it. Most especially in relationships. Doubts are my greatest enemy.

I almost came close to giving up because of constantly having doubts and not having trust. The reason why I came close to giving up is because I did not trust God fully that He will always be there to guide us in the relationship.

Until I came to a realization whether I should let the conflicts ruin or build my faith. God has a reason why He gave you that person to love. It is up to you if you are to accept it as something good or bad. Differences will always be present because no two persons are ever the same. There will be personal struggles in keeping the purity and holiness intact inside the premises of the relationship. Temptations will be on the rise.

But then, we all love happy endings and yet we know too that love stories are never complete without the trials and suffering. In fact, they are what makes the ending happy, when you come out victorious over them by constantly asking God for guidance and protection.

But the question still remains: Will you let the enemy win?

I cannot. I cannot let my doubts, the conflicts and personal struggles ruin the beautiful promises that God has for our relationship. I have to trust God so I can gain trust in the relationship. Believe that it is not you or your boyfriend/husband who will run the relationship but it is God who will be the center of it. Continue to grow and learn from mistakes and strive to be at the right path.

Most of all, choose God and choose love. If you love the person who is willing to do everything for you, you know what to do with that love as how God would want you to.  Cherish it. It is God’s love that saved us all through His son Jesus Christ freeing us from the chains of our sins.

I am extremely grateful to God for having this relationship. It is God’s blessing that I was given a man who has an open mind and a willing, teachable heart patient enough to understand. Who chose to encourage than condemn, who chose to be gentle than to offend, who chose to be relenting than be stern, who chose to accept than judge. But most importantly, a man who chose to love and follow God than give up.

(I will always be grateful to you, baby. Thank you and I love you so much!)

As I end this article, I would like to leave two quotations – first would be what I learned from the Love Series of Victory entitled It’s Not That Complicated and the other, a bible verse.

“Love will not be complicated if we understand that love is a decision and not just an emotion.”

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Like the flowers floating in a pool of water, loving requires the decision and the need to stay afloat though circumstances would posit you to be out of your comfort zone, out of your original life support system. The relationship is the flower and love is the water that feeds the relationship, that nourishes it.

Yes, decide that love is enough. That God is more than enough. 🙂

“Blanket of Love”

Together

(Just another poem by yours truly for you. 🙂 )

Joy it was to know you,

Oh sweet you are it is true.

Such a thing of beauty,

Entranced by you so deeply.

Praise to Him for this Grace,

He has shown me steps to trace.

Back to an old feeling,

Racing heartbeats, never ceasing.

I wished it to be real,

A love to hold and to feel.

Now I’d have to believe,

Good things we are to receive.

Romance just has its thrall,

On you and me after all.

Made it right through that call,

Enough…enough to make me fall.

A Seasoned Life: My Past vs My Present

@ Dads (Kamayan)

@ Dads (Kamayan)

Life is like a drink.

Sometimes it is too sweet, but sometimes it becomes too sour. Sometimes it is bland and sometimes it just has the perfect blend.

I grew up with a lot of fears. I grew up knowing too well what my weaknesses are. I grew up with a lot of insecurities.

I got out of that world. A hunger crept within me. I explored, soared – I am enjoying every single bit of it. That was my notion of “freedom.”

Danger was lurking the moment I stepped out and spread my wings. I soared high unwary of failures. I held on to what this world offers. I made a lot of mistakes, far too many I lost track of what is good and what is right.

Then I fell.

I felt an excruciating pain. A pain from a wound that is nowhere visible. I sobbed, sprawled in the bathroom floor, on my bed, in a corner. Endless gruelling fits of flowing tears that continued for days, weeks, months and years.

Then I surrendered.

I surrendered to His love. It was because of His love that I was saved. I repented and I accepted – my faith as my fate. That I am His daughter and that He is my Father and my Master. Obedience and service to Him who made what I have now and where I am now possible.

Did I ever think that I would be where I am now? No. I had no idea. But I had felt it. It was far too strong to dismiss. To heed to the calling of being where I truly belong – in His refuge.

My drink now? I must say it’s the four seasons fruit drink – a combination of different flavors. Not too sweet nor too sour, just the right flavor. I am just happy I am ending this year with just the right attitude, the right faith and the right spirit.

Now, let’s drink to that and be merry, shall we? 😉

You Just Have To Learn How To Say “NO”

Red, Hot Chili

Red, Hot Chili

This red, hot chili reminded me of this word – NO. Some people like it, some don’t. And for most people whom I have offered this to who really, really hate chili, they just stood their ground and firmly said “NO” no matter how many times I have asked them to try it. (Well, I can really be VERY persuasive sometimes.) 😉

[You just have to learn how to say “NO.”]

My eldest sister used to tell me this way, way back when I was younger – my teenage years. Now, I found myself saying this to myself again and again.

Say “NO” to a job that does not make you any better anymore – forced to work beyond what you can handle, compassion is absent, profit is the main target and offering minimum wages.

Know when your rights are violated. We tend to reason and equate this to how Christ has suffered for us – that we, too, should suffer the same.  Yes and no. Yes, we should be brave enough to withstand any challenge.  But no, learn to know when it is not healthy for you anymore. You have to think more of yourself at this point and look after your own welfare. Not because you are selfish but because you cannot give your best if you are not at your best. Quality versus quantity. How can you help others when you are struggling to even help yourself?

Say “NO” to a relationship wherein the other half requires you to meet his/her demands that are not supposed to be given at the point of your relationship (not yet married).

When a relationship brings you nothing but heartache, tears, doubts, lies, rage, contempt and more sins, it is time to let go. Mishaps in relationships are a given. Pain in love is inevitable. Yet with all things, they should always be in a state of balance. Never is there a thing such as pure and absolute happiness and just that. Neither should there be anything such as pain and sadness all the time.

Say “NO” to an addiction/craving that brings you nothing but wasted money, effort, time and a cursing heart.

It is time to give it up if it makes you feel bad as a person, if it makes you feel less of a person, if it makes you pose more questions of self-doubt than self-fulfilment and satisfaction.  Idolatry is one of the worst sins ever committed. You are not aware you are doing more harm than good to yourself with your decision to stick through it, making excuses for it.

Easy for me to say, that is what you are going to say. 🙂

I do get you.

We value our jobs because we need money to survive. But here is what I have to say too. There are a lot of better opportunities out there. You have better chances of letting God make you to who He wants you to be out there than where you are now. Who am I to say this? Let’s say I just learned it from experience and from the habit that I will let go rather than complain how I hate my job, how it is making me unhappy, unfulfilled, and let the world know about it. If you don’t want to let it go, learn to love it and be professional.

It’s hard to let go of someone you have learned to love and shared so many memories with, sad and happy. It is hard to let go of a companion whom you were used to spending most of your time with. It is hard to move on. Yes, maybe that is the reason why you don’t want to let go. It is the fear of facing the pain, the loss and the burden of carrying bittersweet memories. I know because I went through the same. But you were crying everyday, you are always in a state of doubt, in a state of unsettling situations, complicated compromises – if you still insist on keeping the relationship, ask yourself these questions:

1. How secure is my future with my significant other going to be like?

2. What future will my children and grandchildren have if I opted to stay?

3. How long until I reach my breaking point? And when that happens, is it already too late to change my mind?

4. What consequences do I have to go through and bear?

Addiction is a bad habit magnified to a thousand. When it strikes, it kills, it destructs. It developed because it nurtures the gratification it gives us – a sense of temporary high. But the question is, in every addiction, what else did it give you aside from that temporary high? None. Because again, as I have said earlier, when it strikes, it kills, it destructs until you are left sapped out. Empty – inside and out.

I am leaving you with not so many choices, am I not? Yes, because that is my intent in writing this piece – you just have to say “NO” to anything and everything that takes the GOOD out of you.

I am not a preacher, I hate public speaking nor am I good at it. I am no counselor – I am just a concerned individual. I am not perfect – I have made more mistakes and sins in my past than most of you ever did. And lastly, I am no God – I do not know everything.

I just intend to share. Because I have learned to say “NO.” You still have a choice. You still have your free will.

Which should go second or be in accordance to God’s will. Seek Him first and obey. He knows better than any of us, anyway. In fact, He knows what is best for us. Pray earnestly, pray hardest. Then, you’ll have the courage to say “NO” when the right time comes for you to say it. 🙂

Typhoon Yolanda Reminder: As A Filipino, I Will Always Be A Christian Bicolana

In light of the recent calamity that killed thousands of people in the Visayas and Mindanao regions affecting several  neighboring provinces including my hometown in Bicol here in the Philippines and as a Filipino, I would like to ask for your support, in any way that you possibly can, for the victims of the super typhoon Yolanda.

Please visit this link for a list of legitimate organizations/relief centers where you could send in your donations: http://www.wheninmanila.com/verified-legit-ways-to-help-super-typhoon-haiyan-yolanda-victims-how-to-donate-or-volunteer-with-legitimate-organizations/.

Or if you cannot, please join us in praying for our fellow countrymen. We, the Filipinos, will be extremely grateful for any help and support that you could offer.

To my dear fellow Filipinos, though we may have severely suffered, rest in the fact that we are never alone in this. We will rise and rise we will with the help of our fellow brothers and sisters from all around this world. Despite the adversities that have brought us down to our knees, our kindred spirits will remain to be strong and steadfast. Our cries for plea, our tears for our losses, our battered and tired bodies – it is our strong spirits that will never falter.

I pray that through these all, may the Lord God Almighty continue to shower us with His love, protection, guidance and provisions.

Continue to hope, continue to pray, continue to strive in finding the good in what was left – again, we are never alone.

May God bless us all!

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Wherever God would take me, whatever God would give me, I will bring with me two identities: first, I am a Christian and second, I am a Bicolana.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

I can never be more proud of anything I have and whoever I have become other than those two I have mentioned.

Why a Christian? I am nothing and nobody without my God, first and foremost. My identity is in Him. I need not say more as it is what it already is.

Why a Bicolana then? Ahh, this is most likely where I’ll be explaining more.

I grew up in the province. I spent more than half of my life there. As of writing, that is. There’s no other place that I could ever call ‘home’ except Bulan. Yes, that is my hometown, specifically located in the south of Luzon island, Sorsogon City, Philippines.

Bulan, Sorsogon

Bulan, Sorsogon

It has a distance of 667 kilometres (414 mi) from Manila, 63 kilometres (39 mi) from the province’s capital Sorsogon City, 20 kilometres (12 mi) from the town of Irosin and 30 kilometres (19 mi) from the town of Matnog. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulan,_Sorsogon)

Sorsogon City is a coastal area, surrounded by beaches of all sand color. From white, to pink, to black –  you name it, we have it. Rich of natural resources, fishing and farming have been the sources of livelihood of almost all the Bulanons (that’s how we generally call ourselves).

Fishing

Fishing

If there is one value that being a Bicolana has taught me, it would be this – knowing your roots. In other words, learn to look back from your humble beginnings. Bulan is the one thing that has taught me how it is to be humble and to be grateful. Humility bespeaks when the heart is in awe of the mediocre. I know you are going to agree with me right there.

I came from a family of farmers. My parents, my grandparents and the parents before them all came from humble beginnings. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. Gratitude is what I could offer to my ancestors, for the sacrifices and hard work that they have invested in providing the best for their families.

I came from a generation wherein I don’t have to go to the fields and do the farming myself and go home with sweaty clothes covered in mud just to pay for all of my expenses and supply my needs. An experience I never had to go through and yet something that I would want to go through.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

They say that for someone to appreciate the value of something less than its market value and more of its sentimental value, you have to work for it and have it like how it is usually done and achieved. You have to sweat it out, so to speak.

I was listening to the podcast of Pastor Christian Flores regarding Victory’s new series entitled “It’s Not About The Money” two Sundays ago and he mentioned about the story of a farmer and how this farmer has invested his earnings in acquiring an even bigger barn where he could store more which actually resulted to his own destruction.

That made me thought about our farm, our farmers and what do we really get from it. For starters, our farm house did not change though how many years and decades have passed, we are earning just enough, we are still living frugal lives though we have acquired some possessions through time – still, I think it is not about the money. Money, for us, is something that has to do with survival but never to accumulate great wealth and live grandiose, rich lives.

I might be speaking out of righteousness here but if you will personally ask me, that is how I think it should be. I do not wish to dwell on this matter then and will just leave all the explaining to our Pastors as they lead us on with the series – a reason for you to stay tuned for our upcoming podcasts or better yet visit a nearby Victory church: http://victory.org.ph/. (Sorry for the shameless plugging, but I felt you would understand it better if the explaining would come from our church leaders).

victoryqc.org

victoryqc.org

This is the season of harvesting and when I went home during the holidays last November 1 and 2, I chanced upon the last harvest in our farm. I have skin asthma and as much as I should be staying away from hay, I know it would not stop me from going along with my Dad. I suffered the consequences later on – cough got worse and itchy rashes came out that last for usually a week leaving black spots on your skin that last for about how many months.

Anyway, the last time I have been with my Dad during harvesting was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I could still remember how our parents would ask us (not really me as I was way too young, but my sisters and brother) to help in drying the “palay” we have harvested so they would be sold to the millers for a good price before they sell it to the market.

And yes, how could I forget all the scurrying here and there, to and fro when dark clouds come and heavy rains start to pour. It only means sweeping the grains, piling and covering them up as FAST as you can to prevent them from getting wet, thus lowering the chances of getting a low price as “palay” buyers measure the moisture content of the rice grains. The drier the grain is, the higher its market value.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

My Dad is not a farmer per se. He is a civil engineer who juggled two occupations at the same time – that of a farmer and a superintendent at the National Irrigation Administration in the Bicol region (officially at San Ramon, OIC in Masbate and Sorsogon City). He is now 74 years old, retired from his engineering career and yet a continuing farmer. I have always admired my Dad, how at his age, still manages to do what he would always do at the farm despite his arthritis, gout attacks, hypertension, cataract and other illnesses of the aged. Although we don’t dry the harvested rice grains anymore to lessen the stress level of all the scurrying and hurrying, tending the farm is still a busy work to do.

I went to the farm with my Dad not to harvest the grains myself and have them threshed out but witness how it is usually done. I have to get into the particulars as to how to do this and that. Well, I might consider farming as my job someday. Yes, “Tin” the farm girl. *wink* I think I heard my Kuya’s sarcastic chuckle back there again. Haha Yeah, right. And yes, I wanted to observe how our farmers do it – our trusted and loyal workers. I admired them more than I have admired an office employee (no offense to office workers). But hard labor is no easy job. Exposed in the heat of the sun, bending over for hours either planting rice seedlings or harvesting them, soaked in mud or inhaling the itchy hay dust when threshing are, for me, among the most challenging tasks.

I closely looked at all of them. I saw Tio Digoy and Tio Kadog – they are the oldest among all of them. They have been working for my Dad since I was a kid. Now, their sons are working for us as well. I have learned to love them for all that they have put up for me and my family. I am praying that someday, through us, their sons, daughters and grandchildren will have a better future because of their parents and grandparents’ hard work. Though that means we might lose workers in our farms, it would also be equivalent to giving everyone the chance to have better lives than what they have now.

I am praying too that someday, there will no longer be a need for manual labor and everything will be run by machines, operated in a clean office from planting to harvesting rice. And that goes as well for harvesting coconuts and converting them into copra. The team of Tio Digoy also does them for us. Skilled, they really are. My family and I will always be grateful to them. We will always be grateful to Him for any blessing that He has bestowed as well as for His guidance and protection not just to me and my family but to our workers and their families as well.

Coconuts being made into copra.

Coconuts being made into copra.

So if you think this is what I do in Bicol:

Think again, because this is what I usually do:

"Tin, The Farm Girl"

“Tin, The Farm Girl”

Well, aside from washing the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the pets, etc. and having a little vacation time. We have no helpers/”yayas” back home and here in Manila, by the way.

Now, that is who I really am. Look back, give back  and be grateful.

I See Everything But A Blur

“Like a bokeh!”

Yes, that is exactly what I blurted out during our 15-hour long drive from Bicol to Manila yesterday along with other November 1 and 2 holiday takers. A long trail of red tail lights was all I could see around night time and out of boredom, I removed my eyeglasses to rest my tired eyes – my first, while traveling at night.

With a 20/750 vision on both eyes (normal is 20/20) and a .25 astigmatism on my right eye, my world is a blur when I am not using my eyeglasses or my contact lenses. In other words, I am blind. Well, not really. Let’s just say I only see light and silhouettes. Exactly like a bokeh.

Just in case you are not familiar what a bokeh is, here is a definition I lifted from Wikipedia:

In photographybokeh (Originally /ˈbkɛ/,[1] /ˈbk/ boh-kay — also sometimes heard as /ˈbkə/ boh-kə,[2] Japanese: [boke]) is the blur,[3][4] or the aesthetic quality of the blur,[5][6][7] in out-of-focus areas of an image.

If you want to know more, you can read the entire article here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bokeh.

I have always wanted to achieve this kind of photo effect/filter with my Holga camera as lomography cameras are the best when it comes to achieving natural light leaks in your photographs. Unfortunately, I ran out of films already (expensive, they are). So I resorted to the practical ways of photography hoping to achieve the same effect of lomo cameras in dslr cameras and stumbled upon this website on doing bokeh for beginners using Nikon:

http://www.nikonusa.com/en/Learn-And-Explore/Article/h0ndz86v/bokeh-for-beginners.html.

I did exactly that with my dslr camera set to an f4 aperture, manual focus, an oil burner and some candles we have at home under a very dim light and this is what I got:

Bokeh

Bokeh

I told my brother that maybe the one who discovered bokeh has the same visual impairment like mine and saw the beauty in blurred lights, thus, used the concept in photography.

I am having my eye surgery in a few days to have my vision corrected and I am afraid I only have last night as my first and last experience to witness bokeh with my own eyes and without any photography paraphernalia.

Ahh, the beauty of patiently waiting during long travels and appreciating the aesthetics through low vision – no matter how weird it sounds. Well, discoveries were made because of our inquisitive minds, right? Yes, no matter how weird they may sound – at first. 😉

P.S.

I thank God for the safe travel, for the beauty of eyesight and the awesome wonders of this world, tangible or not though I see everything but a blur.

You just gotta love life.  🙂