Author Archives: Christine Lailani

Protect The Soft Ones

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I thought I was already done with an article on mental health, but it looks like God is asking me to write more. The topic is no longer uncomfortable for me because the incident of attempted suicide happened a very long time ago.

And journaling about it helped me process the negative experience, which paved the way for my healing. The problems that I am going through now are also different compared to what I went through before. And being a born-again Christian now, I think, mattered greatly in how I view and deal with mental health issues as they come.

In fact, I no longer cry every time I recount the turning point of my becoming a born-again Christian. Um, no, I think I shed a tear or 2. Or maybe 4? Wait, I think, it’s 7. But it’s definitely less than 10 tears. lol 😀

Seriously though, I do take note of my crying sessions as part of my emotion regulation strategies. If the crying sessions don’t stop after 15 minutes, that means I need to do something productive that doesn’t involve too many emotions.

It has to be something that will keep my mind preoccupied. Let’s say solving a puzzle or playing an online game. Anything that taps the logical part of my brain.

I do agree with what some people say that your professional job can be a way for you to temporarily shift your focus from your sorrow or pain. Well, given that it’s not the source of your sorrow and pain. 😀

Kidding aside, we have to love our jobs because God gave them to us as a means to provide for us and our families’ needs. God often uses our jobs as a channel of blessings to other people, too. ❤

Being In Tune With Your Emotions

Emotion regulation is a challenging skill to learn. It will take a lot of time and requires discipline, self-control, patience, and different coping mechanisms to master it, especially in some cases where childhood verbal abuse was present.

Let’s say you are in the middle of a conversation, and you want to snap because somebody said something harsh to you, and in your head, you’re like, “That was rude. That comment was uncalled for. Where did that sarcastic insult come from?”

So then you start feeling irritable and angry, but emotion regulation will say, “Switch those two buttons off, pause, take a deep breath, excuse yourself from the conversation quickly, come back when you’re calmer, or just let it slide. God heard it, anyway.”

If you hear these sarcastic and rude comments often, my suggestion is to lessen your interaction with that person. Avoid situations you know will lead to a heated verbal exchange. There is always a polite way of saying “no.”

And actually, people can’t force you to stay if you leave. Their behavior is always beyond your control, and your peace of mind matters more. It is my prayer that you will be able to discern when a relationship is becoming abusive.

If these instances should persist for months to years and nothing seems to change, please seek God’s guidance if the best resort is to leave for the time being. Then, have faith and leave the changing to God. That is how we set boundaries. Although yes, this is always easier said than done.

The Bible also has something to say about emotion regulation:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

There are actually a lot more Bible verses about controlling the tongue and managing anger, which I also mentioned in the article before this. While it is God’s mandate to love our enemies, God also taught us to be discerning enough to know when a situation becomes too destructive for us that it will tempt us to commit a sin.

This is why prayer is very important. Because when we are in spiritual warfare, we need to pray and ask God through Jesus’ Name to equip us with everything that we need to win the war.

And no, fighting head-on with the enemy (confronting) won’t give you a good ending. It rarely does. In fact, it’s the other way around, and I have learned this the hard way.

But I have learned to forgive myself and forgive others. And day by day, I continue to seek God’s help to mold me, change me, and teach me what I need to learn so that when I encounter a similar situation in the future, I will respond better.

Sharing A Testimony And Being A Witness For Christ

Going back to dealing with mental health issues, the challenge really is not about remembering a bad memory. But being vulnerable enough to share my weaknesses here for the entire world to see, holding on to Scripture:

[Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”] – 2 Corinthians 12:9

And I also want to allow fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to test the spirit from which my articles are coming. Please rebuke me if necessary because, as I’ve mentioned in my previous articles, I am no theologian, and I do not have the proper training. All I was tasked to do was to share my testimony and my personal spiritual journey, and how I view God as a believer.

As it is written,

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this, you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. 

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore, they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this, we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.” – 1 John 4:1-6

I Call On God’s Mercy And Protection Over The Soft Ones

After another incident yesterday of the suicide of yet another young person (and another report, as of writing, of a student from a university in Manila who allegedly fell), I felt like I had to continue writing this article. This has been sitting in my drafts since last year. And it looked like it was meant to be written and posted this year.

I would like to cover the family with prayers of comfort and peace in this time of extreme sadness and grief…May God’s saving grace be upon them as they heal from this heartbreaking moment…My heart grieves with them…I pray that no spirit of condemnation be upon the family of the bereaved, and I am praying for the eternal rest of their child’s soul…<3

I don’t want to go into details about how I failed in my two suicide attempts before I became a born-again Christian. But there was one instance that I remembered, trying to think about how my parents would react. They were not perfect, and I can also list a couple of things where they failed as parents. I just felt they don’t deserve to experience something as tragic as this.

I read this statement in one article written by a pastor (not verbatim) to put it lightly: “If you are desperately longing to be with God, this is not a good way to meet Him.”

And yet I was also reminded that we don’t see the struggles of every person on this planet. Depression, for one, is a silent killer. It really doesn’t have a face. Some people are so good at masking it that you won’t notice the depth of heaviness they carry every single day. And nobody is exempt from it; even pastors and priests fall victim to it.

Because the enemy chooses NO ONE in particular, it chooses ANY ONE.

And this is the war that I have talked about in my previous articles. This is the battle that we are going to face now, and some people are already fighting it, me included. And this is why I entitled this article, “Protect The Soft Ones.”

I chose to use the word “soft” instead of “weak.” I think those who took their own lives were actually not weak. Because taking a life is murder, no matter who did it or to whom, even if it’s your own.

You may be emotionally soft, but you will need physical strength to be able take your own life. Otherwise, you will fail. Just like what happened to me. Because I am emotionally soft, but I am also physically weak, that is why I failed. And yet it is in my weakness that God met me. ❤

I Chose Life Through Jesus Christ

Whew, Lord, February pa lang, ang bibigat na ng pinapasulat mo sa akin. Pwede bang magsulat tungkol naman sa kung paano naiinlab ang mga langgam? Kasi lagi sila dinadamay sa mga sweet memes, Balentayms pa man din bukas.

Ah yes, “Laughter is the best medicine,” as they say. In fact, the Bible said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” – Proverbs 17:22

If you’re wondering why I get to talk about death and dying in a somewhat casual manner, it is not because I am taking it lightly, because I shouldn’t. But it’s because I came close to death that I am now no longer afraid of it, PLUS (and a very big plus), combined with Jesus, the Cross, salvation, and life in eternity, no, I think we don’t have to be afraid of death.

AND YET, I still firmly believe in promoting life – CHOOSE LIFE, LOVE LIFE.

Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10

God has given us life for a very good purpose. If I succumbed to suicide 13 years ago, then most likely I wouldn’t be able to meet my spiritual family, I wouldn’t be able to write my testimony and the saving grace of God, this blog wouldn’t have existed, and I wouldn’t have met the beautiful community of WordPress. ❤

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

I always hold on to this phrase when things don’t work out the way I expected them to, not because God answered all my prayers and solved all my problems before. But there’s always His assurance that it is only a season.

Before I continue to the mental health part, I would like to offer a short prayer first. Words have the power to start a war or calm a crowd. It either heals or it wounds. I am praying mine will be able to uplift spirits and not condemn.

Please pray with me:

Dear Lord,

We ask for your divine leading on how we are going to discuss this topic. May it not lead to desperation but instead offer a renewed sense of hope. May it bring assurances as much as it brings tears of freedom because all burdens were lifted.

Please open our minds, hearts, souls, and spirits as we receive Your wisdom in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN.

Why Mental Health Matters

I was recently doing a little bit of research on mental health because of something that my family and I just went through that brought back sad memories. And after 30 minutes of research, I was prompted to stop because I already got what I needed. It looks like the Spirit reminded me about not allowing the negative energy from what I read become the portal for whatever evil that almost was successful in making me do the unthinkable.

My search brought me though to ponder on thought-provoking questions such as:

“Where do people who died by suicide go?”

“Do believers go to heaven even if they commit suicide, such as the priests and pastors who took their own lives?”

“Do we go straight to heaven after we die?”

“Do we get new bodies in the Second Coming?”

“What kind of judgment happens during Judgment Day if, after dying, we are already judged as to who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?”

While I have found the answers to these questions, I felt like I was in no position to write them here. My recommendation would be to reach out to your church leaders, pastors, and priests to expound answers to these questions, as God equipped them in times like these. Most of our churches have emails and contact numbers, where you can send in your questions if you want to be anonymous.

Meanwhile, aside from connecting to a spiritual family and prayers, I would like to share a couple of practical tips on how to deal with mental health issues at home. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting style, yet the Bible offers some reminders on how to rear children. I pray that every parent will be guided by the Spirit in raising children because it is also a calling.

How To Win Your Child To Christ


“Fathers (and mothers), do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

I know I am in no position to share about parenthood because I have never been a parent. Well, Paul shared about love and relationships when he was actually single. 😀

My parents have a different way of raising us, too. But as I grew up, I have also learned to adopt a new parenting style should it be God’s calling for me to raise kids. Here are some of them:

1. Have Those Hard and Difficult Conversations

As parents, it is always best to become the mediator during arguments and conflicts. And only saying “that is enough” and letting them boil their anger down, and giving space and time to forget the conflict has happened, will never make the problem go away.

It’s best to follow it through by allowing both parties to talk about their grievances, and remind each child if one is shouting or the other is blaming. Come up with a list of solutions that are favorable for both sides. Make them agree with it and commit to it. List down the consequences if they won’t be able to stay consistent in keeping their promise. This is to establish accountability.

And when your child finally opens up, do not dismiss what they feel nor downplay their emotions. They need to be seen and heard, and this is very important. Let’s practice the attitude of listening with the intent of understanding, and when I say “understanding,” it should be less about our standpoint and more about where our child is coming from.

If the issue is affecting them big time, you might have to break some of the previous rules you have in place and approach from a place of love and understanding instead. I have seen families who went through the most heartbreaking tragedies, but they remained intact. I know love is a main driver of it.

2. Keep Dinner Table Conversations Light

Do you want to be grilled while you are eating your favorite pasta? I think the cheese will love it. But a person won’t. 😀 I believe we should digress from asking the usual questions, such as “How was school or work today?” and replace them instead with “Hey, what are your plans for the weekend? My ears are open for suggestions.”

Try to notice your child’s behavior if something is off, and you can attempt having a conversation with them in private, like, “Sweetheart, I noticed something is bothering you. If you want to talk about it, I want to let you know that I am here to listen, okay?” When your child is going through something, be a friend first, a parent second.

I know some parents don’t want to do this because they are afraid their children will not respect their authority afterward. But I believe that this is when your child will need you most, so it is critical to create a safe environment where they will not be criticized and reprimanded for being honest.

3. Establish Boundaries

Each of your child will have their own personalities. There are the confident ones. Then there are the shy ones. You have the joker. You have the genius. Each of them will have their own temperament. And each one will develop their own interests and influences. They will also have their own group of friends.

Boundaries will make sure that the family respects each member’s individuality. And yet, parents have the responsibility to teach their children about their identity in Jesus Christ and raise them according to Scripture.

Please, please, please avoid comparing them and avoid pitting them against one another. That is the easiest way to destroy your family. We do not destroy our families; we build them carefully and lovingly.

When a family member needs space, give it. If one family member prefers to be away from home for some time (if they are above 18 AND if they can support themselves by working part-time or being a scholar), give them that request if, after praying, God instructs you that it is really necessary.

But make sure to still check up on them every now and then. Leave it to God to do the protecting when anxiety tells you what if something bad happens to my kid while he/she is away.

4. Pray Heartfelt Prayers (Not Generic Ones)

We’ve all had those prayers when we were kids. Pretty understandable. But as kids grow older, we can slowly teach them about the art of praying. Most likely, they would want to know how to start a prayer, how to end it, what to include in their prayers, or how long or short it has to be.

If we want to amp their praying habit a little higher, or when they become young adults, we can show them how to pray for others, too. This way, it’ll be natural for them when one of their siblings needs prayers as they enter adulthood and have their own families already.

5. Offer Apologies

I really admire parents when I see them stopping a fight between their two children, wherein the parent will ask one child what his problem was, and then switch to asking the other child what is it that angered him, come up with a quick solution, and then ask them to apologize and hug after.

This scene always warms my heart. And at the same time, I also pray that when these kids grow up, they’ll still apply the same conflict resolution strategy even if their parents are no longer around. By the way, the Bible has a lot to say about apologies and forgiveness. Here are some of them:

“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” – Mark 11:25

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

Bottomline, it will always be a case-by-case basis. I pray that God will give every parent the wisdom to do His will as far as raising children is concerned.

How To Win Your Parents To Christ

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

I know the feeling of being a rebellious teen. I was one. I know the feeling of doing bad things just to offend my parents. It was a painful learning experience, but by God’s grace, it brought me to where I am now.

It taught me that no matter how bad you felt, you only have one biological family. If you are still under your parents’ care, meaning you still live with them and they provide all your needs, it is only honorable that you obey them.

No family is perfect. However, if they are the reason for your brokenness; forgive because they, too, need God’s saving grace. God is also working in them. If you need to be away from them because that is the best way for you to heal, you can still love them from a distance.

From my experience, I actually couldn’t remember exactly how my Mom talked to me again after not speaking with me for 2 years. I would come here at home, and she would give me the silent treatment as if I did not exist. I did not force her to talk to me; I just waited. Until an opportunity came wherein we were on speaking terms again.

By the way, just for context, it was my Mom who provided the funds for my graduate study, which is why her anger was valid. Though we had an agreement that once I get a job again, I will pay her back. I wasn’t able to pay her back, but I made it my responsibility to help take care of her when she was hospitalized for 2 months due to stage 4 breast cancer.

Mom wanted me to finish my graduate study asap. Unfortunately, after talking to my thesis adviser, I would have to forego getting married, getting a job, and attending to my husband’s needs if I want to finish it, as it will require I put my 100% focus on my graduate study.

I also had a realization that Special Education is not for me, so I pursued a writing career instead. By the way, only 3 graduated from our batch (there were 15 of us, if I remember it right) – it wasn’t easy. You had to make a lot of sacrifices, especially during the thesis part (individual and not group work), sacrifices that I couldn’t make at that time.

And I am very grateful for that experience, no matter how difficult. Why? It deepened the bond that I had with my Mom. We are not the type who share our personal problems with our parents. Most especially when it comes to relationships. But after the incident, I felt like the barrier was broken down, and I could share anything with my Mom.

And the timing was perfect because when I went through very rough seasons in my marriage, it was my Mom who became my number one confidante. I would call her and text her very long messages explaining what happened, and she always gives me answers and advice that give me peace and strength to move forward.

And during one incident, I was able to hear my Mom mention her having a personal relationship with Jesus, and acknowledge her need for prayers. That, to me, was the best Earthly reward for persevering even when I felt like ending my relationship with my Mom once and for all. Hearing her say that she has Jesus in her life is everything to me, and that is the only thing that matters, actually.

That’s why when my Mom passed away in 2023, even though it was very painful as it was the first death in my family, my heart was at peace because I know where she is now. To all the children out there, love your parents, and never cease praying for them.

Nothing is too broken for God. When He says that He will fix it, He will fix it. God is always working. ❤

A Prayer of Deliverance

My family and I may have our own rifts now, and I know we will go through a lot more in the future, but I have faith in God that we will overcome every single one of them by God’s grace. We always do as long as we keep God at the center of our relationships.

In the same way that God loved the church so much, I have the same love for my loved ones, and nothing can change that. I hope you cling to this hope, too, that every pain shall pass.

And even if they don’t go away right away, those many years that you have waited without seeing any results or receiving answers from your prayers, know and believe that God has already worked on so many things that it’s a definite that you won’t stay in the same situation for the rest of your life.

Again, God is good all the time. He is always in control. He is always working. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). And He is never late nor early, He will give you what you need at the right time.

So, press on and move forward. Keep moving forward, even if you have to drag yourself to get to the finish line. God is with you always. Seek professional help when necessary, and as they say, surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, not the worst.

Don’t forget the story about the footprints in the sand. When you are too weak to walk, God will lift you up and carry you, so you don’t have to walk alone. Even if you don’t know how to pray because you are just too overwhelmed, just cry out loud, “Lord, please help me.”

That is all that I ever said, that is why I am still alive now, and that is all that I will ever say, every time I am in deep waters. God rescues those who call out His name, He never fails.

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.” – Romans 10:13

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” – Romans 8:38

“We love because God first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

To end this article, please join me in covering our families with this prayer:

Dear Father,

You are the only One who knows the condition of our hearts. You see everything, You hear everything, nothing is ever hidden from You. We lift up to You every single member of our family. May You watch over each and every one of us as we go through different seasons in our lives.

Please send Your angels to guard over our homes, and even in places that we have to be. May every family stay united in defeating every enemy who will attempt to steal, kill, and destroy every beautiful promise that You have for us.

I cast out any demonic spirits that are attacking every home right now. Please shield our homes with Your mighty power as we continue to remain steadfast in our fight against evil.

I declare healing. I declare deliverance from the stronghold of the enemy. I declare peace. I declare hope. I declare joy. And most importantly, I declare love to be upon Your precious children.

May Your light shine in and through us, that we may continue to do the work that You have set for us to do. Help us, Lord, to finish this race victoriously, carrying our own crosses and Your banner high, loud and proud.

This we pray in Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

P.S. The name Amos keeps on popping up everywhere lately, I think the Spirit is leading us to read the book of Amos. 🙂

“Ngisog” & God’s Powerful Reminder

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I have been praying to God for 3 days on how to write this, because just like the article before this, I will be touching on a very personal and sensitive topic. It is not my intent to ask for sympathy or validation as to why I am writing this. In fact, I waited for how many days to make sure that I am writing this not out of anger or retaliation.

The answer came – testify, but do it through the Spirit’s leading, so other families may also be ministered to, especially those who are going through and those who will go through the same ordeal. 

I will be writing this article in 3 languages – Bikol (the rant), Filipino (the processing), and English (the reminder). You may skip to “The Processing” and not read the first part because it’s a very long portion.

During “angry writing,” I use the vernacular (Bikol) because I need to focus on writing it out, helping me to process my anger before it goes out. Whereas, if I use English, I know there’s a high chance my writing will be offensive. 😀

Compared to “angry speaking,” I use English because I am not a fluent speaker. Using English gives me control and self-restraint when I am angry because I need to find the right words. And it’s the same when I use the vernacular when I am angry, they will be hurtful words because it is the language that I use often. 

That is why I think it is better to learn another language, because when you are angry, you can use that foreign language. And you won’t offend people because they won’t understand what you’re saying. lol There is also a high chance that, out of your anger, you use a different phrase because you can’t remember its exact translation. So, instead of “I hate you,” you might say “Je t’aime.” 

I think you’d get a hug and a kiss after. If that’s the case, I would love to be angry every day. lol I’m kidding. If my corny jokes make you laugh uncontrollably, that means you are my person. 😀 

Going back to why I wrote this article, I entitled it with one local word, “ngisog.” It’s a local term that means “angry.” And this will be the central theme that I’ll be working on based on these Bible verses:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

Before we continue, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guard your heart after reading because no family is perfect, no marriage is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, because no person is perfect. I am not perfect, I still sin, and I still have a great need to repent and seek God’s mercy and forgiveness.

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” – Philippians 3:12-14

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” – Romans 3:23

I am not sharing this, too, to shame anyone or bring embarrassment to my family. But to share God’s reminder that we must work together peacefully.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18

The Rant (Minsan Lang Naman)

Kun kilala na niyo ako sin awat, dire talaga ako madali mangisog…Halaba an ako pasensya pero dahil dire man kita perpekto nan maski sin-o na tawo, pag nasasagad, nangarangas…Saro man saako personalidad na dire ako mainistorya pag may mga tiripon…Pero dire man ako an tipo san tawo na pag may naimod na dire dianis pareho sin pagabuso o may-on sin nakukulugan an boot, saro ako sa mga masita suon…Dire sa nakiaram ako pero kay inpapanghawakan ko ini na Bible verse:

“Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute.” – Psalm 82:3

Pareho na lang kun may kadanon ka, dire ko kaya maimod na an kadanon inmumuslak…Kay maski nano na mali san tawo, may tama na paagi sin pagsuhito para mahimo na niya sa otro an tama…Sabi ngani nira, minsan dire an mismo na pangisog an nakakulog san boot kundi an tono san imo pagsurumaton…

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Dire man ako pabor san papatrabahuon mo an kadanon na papakuskuson mo an pavement maski naguuran nyan an pandong sa ulo an plastic lang, huluson, tapos may-on sin sip-on…Dire rason dapat na di kaya bantayan an kadanon didi sa sulod kay kaipuhan sin halaba na pasensya nyan pagputitok…Kaya dire ako nangalas kun nakay sige an absent kay malain an pamati altho aram ko daghan pa iba niya na rason…Para saako, para mahimo sin saro na tawo sin mayad an kaniya trabahuon, ihatag mo kaniya an mga pangaipuhan para mahimo niya sin mayad an trabaho niya…

Saro pa, maski sin-o na tawo masusumo kun an snack mo pirmi biscuit… 😀 Kay heavy labor baga, pira man lang na gastos kun an ipamirindal mo pan para may kusog san lawas…Para saako, atamanon ta man an mga tawo na nag-aataman saato…Dire nato pag-isugan an mga tawo na nagdadanon saato sa mga bagay na dire na nato kaya mahimo…Dire dahil kay inseswelduhan, magtrabaho, bayadan, tapos na…

Maski an dire paghatag sin salary increase (nagtugot na an financier) kada taon is a form of oppression lalo pa na sige man an taas san barakalon dahil sa inflation…Dire ngani ini oppression sa mata san batas, pero sa mata san Dios oo…Lalo na kun naiimod man an gub-at nyan kadaghan san intatrabaho niya kada adlaw…Nyan inhihimo man niya intero na insusugo mo kaniya na dire siya nagdadabog o nagsisimbag saimo…

Importante man gihapon na makaigwa sin relasyon that goes beyond a leader and a subordinate sa mga inkakaputan na tawo dire dahil friendly kita, kundi para maintindihan nato sin mayad an personalidad nira, an paagi san pagtrabaho nira, nyan problema sa balay na intero ini makaapekto san kaniya performance sa trabaho…Dire lang talaga ako nakiaram kay sabi ngani sa simbahan, there can never be 2 queens in 1 kingdom…Nyan aram ko kun gaano kapagal an people management…

Wara ako sin kontrol sa mga bagay na ini nyan posible sa iba trivial lang ini na mga bagay…Pwede palagpason kumbaga…Pwede ko ngani talaga dire ini pag-intindihon kay dahil dire man ako an nagpapasweldo nyan dire ako an nagkakapot san kwarta pangpa-sweldo…Limitado an kaya ko na danon na mahatag sa kadanon para madanunan siya kaupod na doon an mga libre na bulong kay kun maski nahapdos, inkakaya niya magsulod…

O mahatagan sin diyo na kwarta lalo na kun nagipit kay dahil single mom siya, pero dire pirmi kay para may-on pa gihapon sin boundaries na dire abusuhon an imo pagdanon…Nyan kun nano na mga pagkaon na mahatag ko, intatagan ko…Dire ako nagi-expect na magpasalamat saako…Kay an ako lang na tuyo, an makadanon kay dahil naiimod ko an pangaipo maski dire saako sabihon…

Nag-uli ako didi sa sadire ko na kagustuhan…An asawa ko yadto sa Pasig kay may naimod ako na mga bagay na kaipuhan sin danon didi sa niyan pareho sin kaso sa ingod na kaupod ako sa mga akusado…Dire ako nasanay mag-ayo sin danon kay dahil may mga tawo na pag maayo ka sin danon, maski saday-saday na bagay, magub-at sa boot nira an pagkooperar saimo…

Kaso naabot sa punto na kaipuhan ko talaga sin danon lalo na sa mga bagay bagay na kaipuhan at least 2 an tawo an mahimo…Niyan kun pagalon ka na, susurumatunan ka pa sin dire dianis, bulyawan ka, o kun dire, dire ka simbagon, nyan murusutan ka maski matanos man an pakisuyo mo, kaso urgent an concern, masasagad ka talaga na makasabi ka sin dire man dianis dahil napuno ka na…An sala mo lang kay nag-ayo ka sin danon na kun tutuuson saday man lang ngani na pabor…

Sin-o an dapat na mag-call out sin irog sadi na behavior kay dahil Kristyano kami intero, intero kilala an Dios, intero nagsisimba, and hopefully intero nagbabasa san Bible?…Nyan makakamundo lang na bagan gustuhon na pirmi may kahiran na an goal pirmi may kalatigaran, bagan mao an nakahatag sin energy baga…Kay ‘pag peaceful an environment, bagan nade-depress…Dapat ada nag-abogado na lang kuta ha… 😀 Kaya dire ka talaga lugod gaganahan magdanon kay mapagal na kun ikaw na nagdanon, ikaw pa an maparaot…

Mapagalon sa totoo lang i-work out an teamwork kun irog sadi an pagurupudan niye..Intero man kamo napapagal, nano kay kaipuhan pa mag-sungit…Kun dire kaya an iba na tasks, pagiristoryahan an pagbarahin san mga himuon…Madali man lang ako kaistorya kun i-assign saako an iba na tasks kay kun dire ko kaya, sasabihon ko man…Mas gusto ko ngani na insasabihan ako kun nano dapat talaga an himuon ko, kay basta aram ko siya himuon, willing ako to do it…Pero wara na kuta mabati na malain na mga surumaton…

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

Sa luwas dianison an paimod, mao man kunta pag kaupod an pamilya, kay di man an mga sa luwas an maakudihir saimo pag nangaipuhan ka sin danon kundi an mga kapamilya nimo… Love your own, protect your own ika ngani nira….

An mga irog sadi na simple na mga dire pagkauruyon kaya ko ini palagpason…Pero an pinakamakulog saako an nangyari kan Mommy san 2023…Na imbes na magkasararo alang alang sa nag-aagaw buhay na siya, makakamundo na kami san asawa ko na nag-volunteer lang magdanon, mao pa an nasahutan na nangupit san kwarta na panggastos sa mga pangaipo ni Mommy na dire namo yuon hihimuon in the first place kay dire yuon saamo importante na kwarta kay an Dios an naghahatag suon nyan may sadire kami na ipon…

Insahutan ka na tulos dahil lang dire nag-tally an computation kay syempre pagalon ka na kaasikaso sa Mommy niyo sa pag-alaga kaniya sa ospital, minsan nakakalimutan mo diin mo nabutang an iba na resibo kay dahil nagkakaradali nan daghanon ka inhihimo at the same time…Kami san asawa ko an imod namo sa kwarta na conduits lang san blessing kami para ihatag man sa iba as danon kun may sobra…

Nyan nagi-effort ka na makiistorya kuta sin mahinahon para maayos an mga dire pagkauruyunan, naghapot ka sin mayad kun nano an update, inupudan mo san due si Mommy niyo na operahan…Pero an hinimo, binayaan ka sa OR na di mo aram kun nano an next na mangyayari after san procedure kay dire man ikaw an nakaistorya san doktor, nyan kun pwede na kamo mag-uli sin asawa mo…Kay dahil nagkadali kamo paghatod san kwarta kay an rason na dire maaram kun diin ma-cash out sin GCash o ma-withdraw…

Maski są kasagsagan san bagyo, an asawa ko an naghinguha na mag-drive na muntik na kami maaksidente kay zero visibility kay makusugon an uran…Pero dahil kaipuhan, hinimo namo maski bayaan namo didi an mga alaga nyan maski sa butnga kami sin kun nano namo na inhihimo…Makulugon sa boot na pag-abot mo sa hospital, ikaw pa an may sala kay awaton mo dinara an kwarta…Naghuhulat ka sin update man lang nano an mangyayari, an insabi san doktor, inkakaistorya mo, dire ka intitingugan…Nano an choice ko sa sitwasyon na yadto? 

Nag-decide na lang ako na mag-uli kami san asawa ko…Pag-uli namo san asawa ko, nagtawag na si Mommy nagbabaon an bp during san procedure and may possibility na mag-cardiac arrest…Katapusan na san biyahe namo inpapabalik kami sa Sor Ci…1 hour sobra an biyahe, may bagyo…

Diyo lang ini na mga halimbawa na sasabihon ko didi, daghan pa an mga irog sadi na pangyayari…Pero sabi san Dios, Siya na lang an dapat makaaram tutal naiimod man Niya intero…Kaipuhan ko lang ma-share an iba para lang sa konteksto sadi na article ko…

Nagsabi ako san ako suhestyon kun pano ini maresolba na mga challenges niyan didi pareho na lang sin pag-assign sin mga trabahuon sa kada adlaw sa kada tawo didi sa balay para intero may ambag sa mga responsibilidad nyan dire naguguguan an saro lang na tawo…Kay pag irog sadi na paragalon na, kadiyo lang na problema, nasarabog na nyan kun manlain-lain na na mga maraot na surumaton an naruluwas…Importantehon saako an open communication because it paves the way for transparency, accountability, and eventually reconciliation na fair para sa intero…

I told the truth, and I apologized because I know I also fell short in some instances, but I never got an apology in return. And it would’ve been okay. But sadly, I was the one who was pointed out as wrong; I am the one who is always wrong because I am expected to always adjust to other people’s tantrums and mood swings. And I was told that I am the one who needs therapy, without even getting to know the root cause of it all. My prayer to God is that I really would be proven wrong, because who am I to judge, anyway? I am also a sinner.

The Processing

Siguro kailangan ko nga talaga ng therapy dahil masyado akong soft, masyadong sensitive, at masyadong mahina. At alam ng Dios ‘yun. Kaya matapos pumanaw si Mommy, kinailangan ko lumayo muna sa lahat. Dumating din ang tamang pagkakataon dahil nabigyan ng opportunity ang asawa ko na mag-trabaho abroad. Hindi ako sang-ayon dito sa totoo lang dahil flawed din ang asawa ko, kaya ipinasa-Dios ko na lang ang lahat sakaling mauwi ito sa tuluyang hiwalayan namin bilang mag-asawa. 

Ito ‘yung panahon na nanirahan ako sa isang apartment sa Sorsogon City ng 2024. Ginawa ko ito para pahilumin ang mga sugat at hindi ako tuluyang kainin ng galit. Ilang buwan lang akong nanirahan doon. By mid 2024, kinailangan ko bumalik ulit dito sa Bulan dahil si Daddy ay na-diagnose ng CKD at 15% na lang ng kidneys nya ang gumagana at hindi conducive ‘yung apartment para sa bago kong online work dahil maingay kapag umaga. 

Umaasa ako na sana may nagbago…Pero wala din, ganun pa din…Masakit makita ang Daddy mo na nangangailangan na ng tutok na pag-aalaga sa edad na 85 years old…Na ‘di ko basta-basta maibigay dahil kailangan ko na ulit maghanap ng trabaho at hindi ako ang humahawak ng pension nya at ako pa sumasalo ng ibang gawain dito sa pag-alaga ng mga manok, pagong, mga pusa, at iba pang tasks kapag absent ang yaya…Ang masaklap kasi binilangan ka ng contribution mo dito sa bahay, na in the first place, wala dapat ako dito at nandoon ako sa Maynila para pagsilbihan ang asawa ko…

Pero sa gitna ng pagdadalamhati, sinabihan na naman ako ni God na, “Tin, hindi mo trabaho ang baguhin ang ibang tao at ang mga sitwasyon. Trabaho ko ‘yun. Kaso timeline ko ang masusunod, hindi yung sayo.” 😀 At ngayon, may konting idea ako kung saan nanggaling ang resentment ni Mommy and her depression, too. Na umabot sa punto na sinabihan nya ako ng “Tatanda din kayo. Ikaw na ang umunawa kasi ikaw ang mas nakakaintindi.” 

Ni-try ko Mommy pero napagod ako ng husto. Hindi ako tatagal ng ganito ng ilang taon dahil magiging tulad mo ako na pinanghawakan ang galit sa puso hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang sandali. I am so sorry, Mom. Pero may tamang panahon na sarili ko din naman isipin ko, at ito na ‘yun. At ‘yun din ang message na nakuha ko – don’t sit at a table where you are not wanted.

Asawa ko ang nagpapadala sa akin ng allowance ngayon, kahit pa mag-isa lang siya sa Maynila, kumakayod para sa aming dalawa dahil hindi na siya bumalik abroad. Hindi ako makahanap ng trabaho ulit dahil sa dami ng kailangan asikasuhin dito sa bahay, kaya madalas din ako sa kwarto para magpahinga. Kaya ngayon magpapatuloy na ulit ako sa paghanap ng trabaho dahil dasurv naman siguro ng sarili ko na sya naman pagtuunan ko ng pansin ngayon. 

Ako ang tipo ng tao na hindi nagtatanim ng galit. Kausapin mo ako pagkatapos ng away, papansinin kita. Kapag hindi, hindi rin. Napagod na rin siguro ako na ako lagi nagi-initiate kahit pareho naman may kasalanan. Kung nag-attempt ako na kausapin ka, at nilunok ko ang pride ko, at hindi ka kumibo, isa lang pahiwatig nun sa akin, hindi na ako makikipagusap saiyo at hindi ko pipilitin ang mga taong ayaw akong kausapin. 

Hindi ako actually pabor sa silent treatment dahil dinanas ko yun kay Mommy ng dalawang taon dahil hindi ko tinapos ang master’s degree ko at ikinagalit nya ‘yun ng sobra. Alam ko epekto nito bilang recipient of that attitude. Pero inintindi ko si Mommy noon na her anger was valid as a parent. Hinayaan ko na panahon ang maghilom ng sugat. At kahit masakit na hindi ka kinikibo ng mahal mo sa buhay, umuuwi pa din ako dito sa bahay tuwing bakasyon and endured it all para lang hindi maputol ang relational ties ko sa kanila.

The Reminder

All the previous trauma and unhealed parts of me came back, and I was feeling very low over the past few days. After the heated argument (where I sinned again because I cursed and said extremely hurtful words out of anger), I thought I’d go out of town just to take a breather from everything. I decided to go to SM City Sorsogon because I also have errands to do there.

When the Bulan Trans Co shuttle was about to leave, one guy at the front stood up, and he did what I wasn’t totally expecting to happen. This never happened for the entire duration that I stayed in Sorsogon City in 2024, though I took the Bulan Trans Co shuttle often.

He started preaching.

At that moment, I felt like I was about to burst into tears. Lord, Your conviction really does hit the core. You know exactly what I need at exactly the right time. And it has to be a pastor – I cannot question the authority. 

God knows there is a possibility anger, bitterness, resentment, and retaliation will get the best of me. He knows I might go through a major depression again, and this time I might not get out of it anymore. 

The pastor talked about everything that I needed to hear, and at the end of his preaching, he introduced himself as Pastor Raul from the Pentecostal Church. He and his wife are missionaries from Negros, and were sent to build a church here in Bulan. They were able to buy a property in Brgy. Somagongsong, and there’s an old house there, which they are using now as their temporary church.

The second part included the offering. I know, some of you might think, what if he is a scammer using the Word of God to get money from people? That’s how I would think of them before I was a born-again Christian. 

But this time, the conviction is different. It doesn’t matter – I got to hear the rebuke, the reminder, and God’s saving grace. I prayed that my offering would help them spread God’s Word because what they are doing is not easy, and it is very risky. 

Every Nation (the mother church of Victory Philippines) is also a missionary-sending church. The church sends missionaries abroad, although Victory is also planting churches locally. I am very glad that other local churches also never stop building churches all over the Philippines.

And the denomination doesn’t matter. What is important is that Jesus Christ is the center of the church, and they are helping more people come to know who God is through the Cross. 

After this encounter with God through Pastor Raul during my trip to Sorsogon City, I felt like the Holy Spirit convicted me with the following Bible verses. 

“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.” – Mark 9:42

“Therefore, just as the tares are gathered up and burned with fire, so shall it be at the end of the age. “The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” – Matthew 13:40-42

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” – Psalm 141:3

“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” – Deuteronomy 30:19

“Correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:25

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” – Galatians 6:1

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

To end this article, here’s my prayer that I believe will help us all navigate through complicated relationships, making sure we are aligned with what God wanted us to do through the midst of it all, because everyone is a work in progress. ❤

Dear Lord,

I humbly come before You to seek repentance for all of my sins. Please help me to forgive others the way You have forgiven me. I may be like weeping Jeremiah now, but I beg You, Lord, to spare Your people from moral decay.

May our hearts not be calloused and devoid of love because of the work of evil around and in us. Spare us from the corruption of this world. Please continue to mold us to be the salt and light of the world always.

And yet, please remind me, too, if my self-righteousness has gone too far. Help me, Lord, to defeat the attacks of the enemy, removing all lies and deception that blind us from the Truth.

May we not fail to keep on being kind to people. Even if the world dictates that kindness is a weakness because it forces us to relinquish control and risk our authority being taken for granted.

Remind us, Father, that before we are bosses, managers, supervisors, and leaders, we are human first. I pray, Father, that we may grow fearful, not of what we will face in the future, but as a sign of our reverence for You.

It pains me to see Your people suffering, and even if I suffer, too, I will rejoice because I get to share the same kind of suffering with them. And because I am secure in the fact that we will also share in this profound joy, once You come back to reign heaven and earth for all eternity.

Please give us the courage to walk away when necessary, the peace to accept things as they are, and the strength to keep moving forward. Knowing all too well that You are always in control, and that You are working, always working.

I pray for parents that they will be given the wisdom to guide their children towards responsibly creating a safe atmosphere of open communication without raising voices or resorting to bickering. And that everyone will be given a voice.

Father, please heal our unhealed traumas because of generational curses. I pray, Lord, that as Brother Bo Sanchez said, may we not give an inheritance of these generational curses to the generations after us by being emblems of what God’s love is ourselves.

May we also not laugh at the misfortune of others, but instead weep with them and comfort them. May we refrain from having any form of pride, arrogance, and superiority complex just because we are blessed with a lot of things, sharing these blessings instead with those in need.

Teach us, oh Lord, that we should never be against one another, being able to see that these are all the enemy’s attacks to cause division within a family and even in spiritual families.

Because when you are cut off from the flock, you are isolated, an easy prey. I pray for unfailing unity in the body of Christ despite the trials and persecution. May we learn to work cooperatively and collectively despite our differences, putting others before ourselves.

May You guide our hearts to never be tempted to compete with other people, especially those who are in the body of Christ, keeping in mind that we have been blessed with different spiritual gifts. And may we also appreciate those who silently work behind the scenes, so that together we can give You the utmost glory.

And lastly, may this experience be a powerful testimony and a strong reminder to me, most especially, that You are greater, and that there is always hope through our brokeness no matter how shattered and no matter how pained.

This, I pray, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN. 

“But there is no peace for the wicked,” says the LORD.” – Isaiah 48:22

“Before a downfall, the heart is haughty.” – Proverbs 18:12

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” – 2 Timothy 3:1-5

P.S. I am planning to go back to Manila by April, though I have my apprehensions because Manila is not a place that I feel God is calling me to stay for good. I am also praying for the souls I will be leaving here, Dad’s and the little souls, that they would get the TLC that they deserve (na dire pagparapahulaton kuta bag-o asikasuhon) at hindi sila mapabayaan. God is in control, and I will rest in this fact. Feeling ko tuloy isa din ako sa mga Israelites na ni-exile at nagpa-wander wander sa iba’t ibang lupain dala ng mga unfavorable circumstances sa paligid nila. Saan ba ako lulugar, Lord? Where do you want me to go, where do you want me to stay? It looks like it will always just be me and my fair warrior, Finley, na magiging kasama ko madalas kung palipat-lipat ako kung saan saan. Start na ng training nya paglabas-labas ng bahay at pag-commute kasi mahilig si Meowmy nya mag-commute. 😀 And I think I left my heart in Mayon (sino ba hindi mabibighani kay Mayon) simula nang nag-ATV kami doon last May, kasi bakit ba ramdam na ramdam nya pinagdadaanan ko at nag-ashfall sya kanina nang malakas habang sinusulat ko itong article na ito. Always praying for every Albayano who will be affected. ❤

Naging Dora The Explorer by force para makapag-isip isip ng mag-isa. lol
Ang ganda na ng Sabang Park sa Bulan. The cottage is free, malinis ang paligid, at Php5.00 lang ang entrance fee. Thank you, LGU Bulan. ❤
Selfie with the boats.
Need namin makalanghap ng sariwang hanging dagat dahil pareho kami may allergic rhinitis ni Finley. 😀
Settled in comfortably during his quick, first gala with Meowmy. 🙂
My Finley Bear enjoying his new playpen at home, all thanks to his Dad. ❤

P.P.S. As an introvert, I fit the category of writers who are recluses. Though I do have a very warm personality during social interactions. I even talk to plants and animals, and I prefer talking to them because it’s less stressful. lol So when I am not outdoors, and I am in my room and not working, it is not because I am harboring anger, playing victim (we are victors in Christ Jesus), or being a drama queen. I am actually enjoying my solitude doing the things I love, which include writing, reading articles online (mostly about faith), playing with Finley, resting, and praying. I think I deserve to be who I am without having to explain myself as to why and how I do things. ❤

My thoughts exactly. lol

Beyond Labels: Securing My Identity In Jesus Christ

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This is a topic I have long wanted to include on my blog. But due to its sensitivity, I thought I’d wait for the right time instead. It looks like this is now the right time to post it. With everything that is happening around us lately, it wouldn’t be a surprise if there is a growing anxiety among the general public, even among those who seem to keep it all together.

Questions such as whether the economy will take a complete downturn in the coming years, or whether climate change effects can be abated or not, are taking center stage in almost every news outlet. Death tolls continue to rise in every part of the world, and not to mention the geopolitical tensions that never seem to end.

We don’t have to be reminded about the ongoing political clamor, religious persecution, inflation, and employment layoffs, which add up to the instability that the world is going through now. It’s no wonder mental health issues also increased in every age group – labels that now seem to define who we are.

Depression, for one, has had a significant increase over the last decade or two, according to a study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research. In the US, for example, research showed mental health issues are prevalent among young adults. While some of the causes include environmental factors, we also cannot dismiss those who are genetically predisposed to have these mental illnesses, such as Bipolar Disorder.

A Testimony of Grace In The Midst of Depression

This article will be coming from the perspective of an undiagnosed individual. I have experienced depression, but I just can’t say if it’s Single Episode Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Situational Depression. By the way, just for context, and I don’t share this often, but since this article will be a testimony of some sort, I’ll mention briefly how I’ve had two suicide attempts (both failed) before I became a born-again Christian.

I won’t delve into details because, as I have learned in the past seminars I attended in church, when you share a testimony, keep the bad part short and the salvation part longer – God has to take the spotlight and not the enemy. 🙂

The second attempt was what pivoted me to be born again in 2012, and why this blog was born (October 2012). After that, I still had some suicidal thoughts, but they’re all just passing thoughts. In the succeeding paragraphs, I’ll be sharing the importance of salvation, being born again, conducting research on mental illnesses, looking for support, and seeking professional help.

I did not seek any professional help (I also kept it a secret from my family), though I am willing to do so if worse comes to worst. Some people are not aware that they are suffering from a mental illness, some are aware but choose not to seek medical intervention (like me), and some badly need all the support that they could get.

The last ones are mostly severe cases. And I was able to witness one, and the experience allowed me to see what goes on inside a psychiatric facility. It is heart-wrenching. That is the only word I will use to describe it. I am praying God will provide more opportunities to help those who are afflicted by severe mental health problems, from more psychiatrists, more support for the family, to more accessible and affordable health care benefits.

Going back to what I experienced, I will describe the season as if you were in a dark pit. It is as if the darkness around you is drowning you, you can’t breathe, and you just can’t see any way out. There is this deep heaviness inside you that doesn’t seem to go away, no matter how positive you try to be. And there are just so many extreme emotions going on inside of you.

My Journey To Becoming Born-Again

When I was just a newbie born-again Christian, every time I looked back on that experience, I would cry uncontrollably. I guess it is the overwhelming feeling of being saved when you thought all hopes were lost. ‘Yung feeling na hindi pa pala katapusan ng lahat, meron pa palang paraan. And I found that hope when I got to know who Jesus Christ is. It was like all the burden I carried was lifted, and I just started looking at things from a different perspective.

This last one is the ultimate game changer. Because when you start to see yourself as part of a bigger picture, you realize that your problems aren’t really as big as they seem. They are just part of a master plan necessary to mold you into becoming more like Jesus Christ. While knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior didn’t diminish all my problems, and I still have problems 13 years after being saved, I now seem to have this boldness of spirit to move forward, which I know did not come from my own strength.

So where did it come from? I’ll tell you a bit of the process of being born again, but this will be from the church that helped me with my spiritual journey. I’m not sure if the process is different or the same for other churches. I’ve had my water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit at Victory Katipunan. It isn’t a one-day event; that is why your patience will be tested throughout the process, but it will make you realize how badly you need a personal relationship with the Lord.

(You may read more about my experience here: “Lordship: The Life After.”)

During the baptism of the Holy Spirit, one pastor laid his hands on me during the intercession. And I think that’s the time that my spiritual gift was awakened, which gave birth to this blog. I have always been passionate about writing. There is something about written words that I absolutely love.

Putting My Spiritual Gift To Good Use

I was gifted with the ability to see connections and patterns, most especially in words. As a professional, I use this skill to organize, analyze, set up systems, create written content, and perform tasks that require deep mental focus. I think my love for words is one of the main reasons why I passed UPCAT and got in at UP Diliman, because I got very high scores in the English tests (around 96%), even if I failed horribly in Math (like 70% or lower :-D), and got average scores in Science, Filipino, and History. Thank you, UP Diliman, for giving me a chance to be an Iskolar ng Bayan. ❤

There’s actually one incident wherein I wasn’t hired for a job position that I applied for, and the friend who referred me and actually worked in that company wasn’t promoted because I aced the English exam during my pre-employment assessment. They thought my friend gave me a cheat sheet, which wasn’t true.

I just have this fascination with written words, and my brain seems to remember highfalutin words even if I read them only once. Though the downside is that I don’t often remember the context where they were used, so my common error back then (before there was Google) was misused words in a sentence. I still commit that mistake until now, when I am feeling too lazy to search for the meaning of the word on the internet. 😀

This blog did not just pave the way for my spiritual gift, but it also helped me manage my depression. It became my online journal, and I get to process my emotions and give all my experiences an afterthought here. I think this is very important when it comes to self-regulation.

8 Practical Tips To Improve Your Mood

I have found the following tips very helpful if you want to boost your mood. The internet has a lot of them, actually, but these are what work for me, and I am praying they will help you, too, one way or another.

1. Read Your Bible And Pray Every Day

For an introvert like me, I love isolation, and being in a room all day long is normal for me. But this is also where danger comes in. The moment I am alone with my thoughts, the enemy will start to infiltrate them with all sorts of negative thoughts. My defense for this is the Word of God.

It is best if you set aside time reading the Scripture upon waking up and before going to bed. I prefer the bedtime Bible reading because everything is quiet. In the morning, I read daily devotionals like Our Daily Bread and YouVersion Daily Devotional, and watch the Morning Worship and Prayer of Victory Philippines on YouTube.

And don’t forget to make praying a daily habit. In fact, prayer must be your number one weapon during spiritual warfare. My favorite line is this: “No weapon formed against me by the enemy shall prosper, by the name and by the blood of Jesus Christ.” Say it again and again and again when you are having self-destructive thoughts.

2. Connect With Nature

You just have to love Mr. Sun for that much-needed Vitamin D. Go out and spend a lot of time outdoors surrounded by nature, and marvel at God’s wonderful creations. Walking also has a lot of benefits according to medical experts. It increases your dopamine, it helps you burn calories, it slows down aging, and the list just goes on and on.

3. The More Hobbies, The Better

Introverts and empaths are prone to depression because of isolation. They are also more likely to see things in retrospect and internalize everything. Having a lot of hobbies will help refocus from inward to outward. Plus, you get to learn a new skill, which might come in handy for future tasks that God will ask you to do. I have a very wide range of hobbies because I love learning, so I am always trying new experiences, good ones.

4. Listen To Worship Songs And Sing Along

Even if you don’t know how to sing, I suggest memorizing a couple of worship songs by heart. I find them very helpful when I am in a difficult situation, and I can’t seem to get out of it asap. I hum silently, and if it is okay to sing, I sing aloud. It really does change my mood, especially when I am feeling angry, nervous, fearful, or anxious.

5. Eat Healthy

I admit I don’t eat healthy sometimes. If I am seeing a doctor regularly, I’d definitely get a good spanking, I mean, a long lecture on the importance of eating healthy. 😀 I do try to be intentional in eating healthy foods, that’s why I have been experimenting with growing my own vegetables in our garden, and also for sustainability purposes.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t maximize the harvests because most of them died during the onslaught of several typhoons last year. I also found out that the soil in our garden is not suitable for growing vegetables since its composition is more clay than loam. I plan to adopt new planting methods and strategies for the new batch (hopefully this summer) to keep them alive, God willing, until harvest time.

6. Learn Your Triggers

Take note of what triggers you to have a meltdown or be in a depressive state. There are so many triggers around you, and most of them are out of your control, so try to avoid them if you can. If you can’t, then try coming up with a plan such as setting boundaries, learning to say “no,” doing social media fasting, or learning techniques to relax and destress while you are in a difficult situation.

Try to keep your mind off what triggers you by shifting your focus to what you will learn from the experience. As our church leaders would say, the best question to ask during difficult moments is this: “What is God trying to teach me in this season?”

7. Identify The Right Support Group

I know I will be biased if I say that you have to choose the people with whom you share your problems. For me, being part of a Bible study group connected me to spiritual mentors and coaches who can pray for me and, at the same time, I get to learn from their experiences and study the word of God, too, in a safe setting.

Although every Bible study group will be different, and all the members are flawed individuals, healing and seeking God’s grace, too. In my opinion, the best way to cope with depression is a combination of spiritual support and medical help, especially for severe cases. Try to make a self-assessment of whether your depression will go away or not, just by doing the tips I have mentioned above, or if you need more support or extra help professionally.

8. Self-Awareness Is Key

Depression doesn’t have a face. Sometimes the smiling person who seems to be so carefree is actually the one who is 90% convinced that suicide is the only way out, compared to a person with a glum look, but still manages to do regular tasks like a normal person. There is such a thing as high-functioning depression, by the way, although it is not a clinical diagnosis (officially). After being born again, I became pro-life – every life now matters to me. Regardless if it’s as small as an ant or as huge as a century-old tree.

Salvation made me appreciate life more.

I guess this is what it means to be empowered by the Holy Spirit – a total paradigm shift devoid of any labels. While the world defines empowerment as confidence and loud, I believe there is also such a thing as quiet empowerment. This, I think, is how the Holy Spirit works in us and what empowerment looks like under a spiritual lens.

It is not loud, but it is bold. It may not be fluent, but it is intentional. It may have hesitations, but it still moves forward. It isn’t all-knowing, but carries Godly wisdom. And this is how we secure our identities in Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

I am closing this article with a video from yesterday’s Morning Worship and Prayer led by one of the pastors (Pastor Christian Flores) from Victory Katipunan, where I had my “baby steps” as a born-again Christian. This church will always hold a very special place in my heart.

It’s not just a memorable place for me, but every person that I encountered in that church when I was attending services there played a major role in my transformation to become the person that I am now, starting from the pastors, small group leaders, spiritual mentors, co-volunteers, to other sisters and brothers in Christ. I had my altar call at the Victory Katipunan’s Singles’ Getaway in 2012, by the way.

Who knows, you might be next, too. 😉

P.S. Nami-miss ko na ang UP Diliman, kailan kaya makadalaw ulit at makasimba sa mga Victory churches doon? 😀 Also, I am not a theologian or a medical professional; please feel free to correct me if there is any misinformation in some of the details I have posted above. I will very much appreciate it. 🙂

P.P.S. After being born-again, there will be people who will test your faith, and if indeed you are now practicing what you preach. You will fail in some instances, but I pray it may not be the reason to turn your back on faith. Keep moving forward, we are all suffering the same kind of persecution. Let’s all carry our own crosses because we are all one in this suffering as we are the body of Christ. Don’t forget that Christians all over the world are praying with you in spirit. ❤

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12

“This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.” – 1 John 1: 5

“For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” – Ephesians 5:8

“You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” – Psalm 18:28

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“I praise You (Lord), for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139:14

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” – Philippians 1:6

This Sunday’s Nuggets of Wisdom (2/1/2026)

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YouVersion Bible App Daily Devotional

It is often very easy to be caught up in the ways of the world that we fail to see the change, and yet other people can notice that we are slowly drifting apart from our faith because the world now governs our choices, even in our relationships with others. I stumbled upon one quotation on Facebook that says, “People will not remember you for your achievements, but for how you made them feel.” My prayer is that pride won’t take root in any of us, especially when we are surrounded by the comforts and conveniences this world offers, and we are at the peak of our successes. May we not depart from the reminder that it was God who made it all happen; we are merely receiving His grace.

CTTO

I was also never given the opportunity to raise my own family, but the set of rules above would’ve been among the templates for our moral compass, along with the Bible. 🙂

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up”. – Deuteronomy 6:6-7

P.S.



I am praying I won’t end up as someone na hindi marunong mag-regulate ng emotions at ibe-blame ang ibang tao as their triggers at sa mga responses nila. And yes, I know kung ano ang pakiramdam na walking on eggshells ka. Na hindi mo alam kung may nagawa ka bang masama o may nasabi kang hindi maganda bakit bigla na lang naging ganito ang treatment sa’yo ng tao. And kailangan mo pag-isipan ng maigi ang mga sasabihin mo kasi hindi mo alam ano ang makaka-trigger ng galit nila. And yes, it is also best to live with someone for at least a year, doon mo talaga mate-test ang totoong character ng isang tao. So if I retreat, that is because I am avoiding conversations that will affect my peace of mind and not because I am being dramatic. I also avoid conversations na puro gossip at buhay ng ibang tao ang pinaguusapan, and I have very low tolerance for energy vampires, those who complain often without any proposed solutions, and those who make an argument out of everything. And yes, Bipolar Disorder runs in families. Btw, until now hindi ko pa din ma-pronounce ng maayos surname ni Dok. Minsan nagiging Dr. Kangaroo. Peace, Dok. Sana hindi nya ito mabasa. lol Pero andami kong natutunan kay Doc Kilimanguru kaya really thankful na nag-pop up sya sa newsfeed ko. 😀

P.P.S.

To quote the late Emman Atienza, “Be a little kind to everyone.” Sabi naman ni Jesus, “love one another as I have loved you” and “love your enemies.” Worth it ba isakripisyo ang mental health para lang mahalin ang mga taong mahirap mahalin? Napakahirap na every day lagi kang fight or flight mode noh. Hindi mo alam kung kakayanin ba ng katawan mo ang cortisol na niri-release nya dahil palagi kang defensive. Napakahirap talaga, Lord. Pramis. Pero huhugot at huhugot pa din ng lakas from You hangga’t kaya. And if you have survived something like this for how many years or most of your life, that is definitely God’s saving grace through Jesus Christ when you accepted Him as your Lord and Savior. Because honestly, we just couldn’t survive on our own. ❤

His Second Coming Will Be A Spectacle

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I was compelled to write this article today while the ideas are still fresh in my mind and relevant to what is happening around us lately. If you’re wondering why I chose this topic to write about at the start of the year, events led me to make one fascinating discovery after another.

Why Now, Mt. Mayon?

If you’ve read the article before this, I mentioned the numbers 888, which, in Biblical numerology, represent a fresh start and Jesus’ resurrection. I just didn’t expect that personally, the fresh start would be painful, although not as painful, since I had seen it coming. I think it isn’t a coincidence that Mt. Mayon also started erupting again. And yet Mayon is the only creation I know that remains admirable even in her fury.

Last year, I was able to check one item on my bucket list, which is to get as close to Mt. Mayon as possible. I believe it isn’t a coincidence, too, that the Grab driver in Legazpi City who fetched us while we were having the new tires of our car aligned shared with us out of the blue about the quarrying projects in Mt. Mayon.

He said it’s easy and more money for the local government. I just had no idea of the extent of these quarrying sites, and I was able to see one during the ATV ride going up to Mt. Mayon (jump to 4:16 in this video).

Since January 6, 2026, the lava flows in Mt. Mayon continue, and the gullies widened and deepened with every pyroclastic flow, according to experts. I think the Albay government is already considering extending the 6-km permanent danger zone. Given the unpredictable weather patterns that we are experiencing now, which are expected to worsen as we are in a climate emergency, heavy rainfall will pose a major threat to the communities near Mt. Mayon.

Beauty In Ashes

Quarrying plays a vital role in the construction industry as well as in creating local employment, but it also destroys the natural habitat. I hope the quarry sites were assessed properly before the start of the project, making sure each quarry site won’t contribute to biodiversity loss. Quarrying also changes the topography of the area, making the soil unstable and prone to soil erosion and surface water runoff.

Now that the gullies are wider and deeper, and combined with the high volume of rainwater coming from the mountain, lahar flows will be the bigger problem. I am hoping and praying that the local government will double its reforestation and rehabilitation efforts at the foot of the volcano to increase natural barriers and make the soil more compact as more roots grow.

Local legend has it that when Mt. Mayon erupts, Pagtuga is disturbing Daragang Magayon. I can hear myself telling her, “Tahan na, Mayon. When all of this is over, we will be refined. As experts say, through subsequent healing, your cone will be new again – perfect as ever. God will rebuild what was damaged, He will restore what we’ve lost. You will be back in your original beauty and will continue to be a spectacle.”

But for now, there will be a battle. We are going through a battle of some sort. Mine is a spiritual warfare – letting go of what God is asking me to let go. Because there’s a part of me that is resisting, and yet God was saying, it is about time – be firm and stay.

ChatGPT Warrior

I wanted ChatGPT to come up with an image I have visualized, which best describes the season I am in, and it is an image of a woman warrior dressed up in a full body armor similar to knights in the Medieval Ages, or more like Joan of Arc. I initially asked ChatGPT to come up with a video.

I made a prompt with the complete details of the video concept showing a woman warrior in battle, but she’s exhausted. She kneeled and, with bowed head and sword lowered to the ground, she whispered, “I am tired, I cannot keep up with this fight.”

Then an angel appeared, kneeled down beside her, whispered something in the warrior’s ear, and left. The warrior stood up, and with an even fiercer stance, charged towards her enemies and let out a battlecry – Jehovah Nissi.

Unfortunately, ChatGPT is unable to generate a video but referred me to an app. So I asked ChatGPT to create an avatar in my likeness instead, dressed up as a female knight, and I uploaded a smiling photo of mine. I was so amused when ChatGPT generated an image of a cute warrior instead. lol

So I asked ChatGPT again to recreate the image and change it to a warrior in the middle of a fighting scene. The image generated was a smiling warrior while in battle. How I wish I could still smile while fighting with all the strength I could muster. 😀

Ang gondo naman ng warrior na ito, sana ganito itsura ng anak ko kung magkakaanak pa ako. lol

I then requested another edit, and this time ChatGPT got the right facial expression. I would like to applaud ChatGPT, though, for capturing my flat nose perfectly – it’s my most prized asset, just in case some of you don’t know yet. lol

I do wish this image would be used as an avatar in a role-playing game similar to Assassin’s Creed and combined with Rurouni Kenshin’s sword-fighting techniques. Methinks it would be an awesome game. And I will name this warrior “Caden.” 🙂

Ah yes, I am so in love with my flat nose. It’s so cute, right? GGSS lang ang peg, saree. ahaha 😀

The Feast of Tabernacles

Seriously, I am in a spiritual battle, and I know why – no fellowship, no physical church, less quiet time, no actual Bible reading – all because I am becoming like Martha at home, God’s reminder that spiritual devotion is more important than busyness. I am also isolated, which makes me more vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks.

I decided to cut back on some tasks and randomly opened my Bible and stumbled upon the book of Numbers about offerings. When I read the chapters, none of them made sense to me, and to what I was currently going through.

Then I thought maybe it is about time I start watching the Morning Worship and Prayer at Victory Philippines on YouTube again regularly. I guess it was the Spirit’s tugging, because the message for January 22 was about the Feast of Tabernacles. I remembered reading it earlier in the Bible.

I opened my Bible again and read through the bookmarked page, and that’s when I realized why I was brought to the verses about the Offerings for the Feast of Booths – the Feast of Tabernacles is also called the Feast of Booths. This prompted me to do my research on what the feast is all about. It commemorates Israel’s release from 40 years of captivity.

I just turned 40 in December of last year, and the start of 2026, for me, was also a liberation of some sort. I’m sure that this isn’t a coincidence. The numbers 888 I mentioned in this article signified not just a new start, but also a resurrection.

And the receipt that was mistakenly dated to October 21, which I thought was referring to the birthday of this blog, because I was relating it to the past, also made me think that it might be referring to an event in the future as well. Some say that Jesus’ birthday actually falls during the Feast of Tabernacles, but there is just not enough data to prove this.

Why We Celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles

A Trumpet Or A War Horn?

I also found out that the Feast of Tabernacles refers to Jesus Christ’s Second Coming. And I just want to share an experience I had during the recent typhoon Ada. News reports said that it’s not going to make landfall, but it will come near the land mass of the Bicol region, especially Southern Bicol, which includes our town.

We didn’t receive any NDRRMC updates of a rainfall warning or very strong winds. But around 2am of January 19, I woke up to the sound of very strong winds and a blowing horn. I thought it was the howling winds, but no, this was different. I can tell the sound of a howling wind during a very strong typhoon since our town is frequented by very strong typhoons.

I went outside to check on the chicken coops and made sure their covers were still intact. And there went the sound again as if someone was blowing a trumpet, similar to the sound of a ship’s horn. I went back to bed and thought that maybe there’s a ship docked near our port since we are a coastal town. But then again, at around 2am? The port is already closed during this time.

It was also the first time I heard it, and I never heard it again. It looked like I was given a first-hand experience of what we could possibly hear when Jesus starts descending during the Second Coming. 😀 Or if it signifies the start of battle, then maybe God is building an army, a huge one. If this article resonates with you, maybe you are among God’s warriors being called out to lift His banner high.

Padayon, Paraoma

The Feast of Tabernacles also included a celebration after the agricultural harvest. For last year’s wet season, we harvested on October 23 in one of our rice fields. This rice field is located inside a farm, an agricultural property that’s been passed on from one generation to another, starting from our maternal great-grandparents.

Though we no longer grew up on the farm, we felt like we were still called to be keepers of that property, tend it, develop it, and utilize it according to God’s will and plans. Unfortunately, the income generated from last season’s harvest hit an all-time low, prompting me to ask Dad if we should still continue with palay production or not.

Hi, Daddy! I am taking a photo of you, errr, your back. 😀

We are among the micro agribusinesses that comprise the 2.9 million palay/rice farmers who feed this country. It wouldn’t create a dent in the rice production numbers if we stopped farming, and yet Dad’s answer was that if none of the other rice farmers stop, we will continue regardless of whether we hit an all-time low or not.

Padayon (move forward), even if my siblings and I feel like it’s a losing battle – the farmers are just not making enough profit from their produce. I was apprehensive, I had my doubts, my worries piled up, and I think God felt my need for an assurance.

When God Watches Over

Because right after we harvested the palay and we were waiting for the sacks of palay to be transported to the buyer’s warehouse, I went out to walk on the rice paddies. When I looked up, I witnessed this particularly interesting and beautiful cloud formation. I have never seen anything like it in my entire life.

And after I took the photo, I zoomed it in, and I can see an outline of a face or a creature, sort of like looking down on me peering through the clouds, which is why the clouds were somehow parted in the middle. Or it’s just my very imaginative mind working. lol But what do you think?

This farm is under God’s care and protection. ❤ This is a raw and unedited image; I only added my watermark.

The message from God was crystal clear, though – “I am with you always.” I have also been seeing perfect rainbows lately, similar to what I saw in Albay back in 2020, along with these promises:

“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13

“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15

Tending the Old Earth To Usher The New Earth

Going back to the Feast of Tabernacles, there’s also a mention of the new heaven and the new earth. My family and I have been planting new coconuts, fruiting plants, and flowering trees in this farm. My siblings and I also plan to add fruit-bearing trees that no one would eat because they’re too sour, etc., to discourage trespassing inside the farm, since we don’t have a caretaker yet. But these fruit trees will be a perfect addition to the food web of the wildlife inside the farm.

We also discussed the possibility of partnering with an investor (whoever God will give us) who will help us utilize the property on one condition – environmental conservation will be at the heart of the mission. God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to tend and care for it. Unfortunately, man has now altered so much of what nature has, or had.

Do you see the coconuts on the left side? That’s the slope where I had the vision to integrate the hospice I was talking about in this article: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2023/12/27/not-just-an-advocacy-but-a-higher-calling/. If you’re standing on that slope, the overlooking view is biophilia at its best. 🙂
3-Year-Old Fire Tree
Palawan Cherry Blossom (before the typhoons)
3-Year-Old PCB
Palawan Cherry Blossom (w/ cracks after the typhoons)
The not-so-hidden Japanese tunnel and the farm gate.
Bamboo to Mango: I will bend, but I will not break. Says our faith, too. 🙂
I’m currently experimenting with different sustainable planting solutions in our garden.

I traded the hands in this article for the hand below. And yet I have no regrets because the hand below accomplished more in terms of purposeful and meaningful work.

As a poultry keeper, I also traded the photo on the left below for the photo on the right. I am not sure if you get the connection, but if you do, please refrain from commenting about it. It’s our dirty (literally), little secret. lol 😀

Thanks to my siblings for these lovely gifts. ❤
This is an AI-generated image.

Kidding aside, let’s wrap this article up. After reading this article, some of you might diagnose me as someone who is depressed, a narcissist, has Bipolar Disorder, has anxiety, has ADHD, has Autism, or even delusional. And I will not be mad at you because it might be true that I could have all of them. But they are just labels. I know who I am in Christ, and that’s what matters. 🙂

(You may want to read this article about discovering your identity in Jesus Christ: “Sentimental: Who Am I?”)

Thus, I will continue to share the message if that is my calling, and those called by God to also get the message will know what the message is. This is also why I keep on asking God why, why choose underqualified people, people that society sees as not normal, or do not fit in with the standards of this world, to deliver His message to the world?

Spikenard Magdalena, Anointing Oil, Jerusalem,
Who will I be anointing? 😀 You may read more about the Spikenard Magdalena Perfume and the Anointing Oil in the “Mary Magdalene” hyperlinks below.

I got the message – just like Mary Magdalene, who was possessed by 7 demons, we are the kind of people who need God’s saving grace more for us to be delivered from the afflictions that we go through. Most of them, as I have mentioned above, are battles unseen. And yet when we overcome them all by faith and with the proper support, ours is a great testimony of what Jesus did on the Cross, and God’s glory, authority, and power over all creation.

Just like Mary Magdalene, it would be an honor and a great privilege, too, to be the first to witness the unfolding of Jesus Christ’s Second Coming and to celebrate the news that He is finally here with us for all eternity – it will truly be a spectacle. ❤

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6

I can’t help but mention my cute, flat nose again in this photo. lol

Pangadyi Para Sa Paraoma

I will be ending this article with a prayer, which will be entitled “Pangadyi Para Sa Paraoma (A Prayer for the Farmers)”. Why the farmers? I feel like the Spirit is leading us to pray fervently for farmers as we encounter more environmental challenges in the coming years, and food security will be one of the pressing issues that every nation all over the world will be tackling.

Why in Bikol? I kind of miss my maternal grandma and how she would always pray in the vernacular (Bikol-Albay) – she lived for a couple of years (half of her life, if I’m not mistaken) in Daraga. Her father, my great-grandfather (a former Protestant pastor), was also born in Bacacay, Albay.

There’s something very heartfelt in her prayers, even though I can only understand a couple of them. If I am to pray like her, I can only utter a line that goes “Ini po Kagurangnan an samuyang pamibi ngunyan…” and I don’t know how to continue that prayer because my Bikol-Albay vocabulary is very limited. Or maybe it’s Bikol-Naga (Central Bikol)? Libong much. lol Any Albayano out there who can help me out? 😀

Let’s pray for the safety of everyone in Albay who will be affected by the ongoing activity of Mt. Mayon. ❤

Here’s the Bikol-Bulan version of the prayer for the farmers:

“Pangadyi Para Sa Paraoma”

“Amang Kagurangnan, nagrarani kami saimo para sa intero na paraoma na nagpapadagos sa pagtanom sa butnga san mga kalamidad nan distroso na indadara sadi sa mga pananom. Naiimod namo an pagtios san kada paraoma para lang makatanom nan makaani para sa kakaunon nan ikakaayad san bilog na komunidad. Sa mga masunod na taon, hatagan mo tabi kami sin dunong kun pan-o masolusyunan an nagdadaghan na problema san saamo kapalibutan, nyan sin kusog san lawas nyan san boot para magpadagos lalo na sa panahon sin kaperwisyuhan. Inpapangadyi namo ini sa ngaran ni Hesu Kristo, Amen.”

My handwritten (cursive) version on a 2020 journal that I will be using just now. 😀

P.S.

I stumbled upon this playlist on YouTube, and it summarizes my faith for the start of 2026. ❤

P.P.S.

Since I just turned 40 last year, I am also praying for deliverance from another generational curse. I have been praying hard that our generation and the future generations be healed from this in Jesus’ Name, since genetics plays a huge role. Though we are not dismissing environmental factors and lifestyle choices. Kami na sana ang huling henerasyon na makakaranas nito sa pamamagitan ng dalangin at mga praktikal and medikal na solusyon galing sa mga eksperto.

Experts recommend a yearly mammogram to monitor any cancer cell growth, given a family’s breast cancer history, such as ours (both sides of our parents). Ah, yes, it will truly be a miracle if none of us (my siblings and I) have it. And yet, let God’s will be done. At age 40, I have nothing more to ask. God already gave me more than I asked for, and I am ready to go any time. My prayers now come down to 2 choices: let nature run its own course or allow Science to intervene should I have cancer. 🙂

Christmas Is BACK! | A Revival

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Was there a time in your life when you opted to break a family tradition? It could be because you decided it is for the best that you remove it, or you had to stall following that tradition for the time being.

We had to do the latter and skipped putting up the Christmas tree and decorations from 2023 until 2024. For 2023, it was the first Christmas without Mom, as she passed away in August of that year. We also did not set up the Christmas tree last year because our town was one of the areas here in Bicol hit by Tropical Storm Kristine, leaving extensive damage in the entire region.

By the way, we always celebrated Christmas and New Year here at home ever since I was a kid because Mom was never fond of traveling, we wanted to avoid all the Christmas rush, and she was a true-blue homebody like me. It then became a family tradition to decorate the house during the holidays, which eventually became a family bonding activity, too, that my siblings and I always look forward to every year.

Christmas 2025
The Christmas tree has stood witness to stories of all kinds. But the most memorable is definitely the one where there was a Savior born in a manger. ❤

It’s a good thing we were able to finish a lot of errands (so we can focus on decorating the house unhurried), from getting the palay seeds for the next planting season, following up on some legal matters, to having Dad’s yearly blood work, including a visit to the ophthalmologist just to name a few. For the last errand, it was a last-minute decision to have his eyes checked at Chacon General Hospital & Eye Clinic because he was complaining of eye irritation.

Thanks, Kuya, for capturing this shot. 🙂

After we’re done with his eye checkup, we bought him a new cane because his old one was already brittle. I think I entered a time machine, though, when I went inside Metro Health Clinic to buy his cane. Because when I looked at the receipt that the pharmacy gave me, it was dated October 21, when it’s supposed to be December 6. lol It got me thinking, what happened last October 21? Only to realize that October 21 was the birthday of this blog. 😀

And speaking of receipts, the serial number in Dr. Chacon’s receipt also has the number of Jesus Christ – 888. Though I advise with caution those who will study Biblical numerology because there’s a tendency that it might lead you to divination, which the Bible strictly prohibits. Going back to 888, there are Biblical references that attribute it to a new creation, new beginnings, and the resurrection.

I always believe that things happen for a reason and not because of coincidence. The number 888, the resurrection, and the title of this article, which is about revival, all fall perfectly in place. Speaking of revival, aside from the “revival” of the Christmas decorations, we are also reviving Mom and Dad’s old phonograph, which they bought during the 1970s. I’ve never tried playing this when I was young; that’s why I was so overjoyed to finally have the privilege to play it now, and it still works! For how long, that we really don’t know. And the sound quality is not that excellent anymore.

There’s something about raw music that brings nostalgia at its best. Even the crackling noise of the speaker becomes part of the music. There’s something wrong with the speed adjuster of the turntable, though, so the music doesn’t sound like the original anymore. 😀

I am also reviving Mom’s old phone because there was a bug in the recent iOS update, and my phone’s screen just froze. So, I will be using Mom’s Nokia in the meantime while I am waiting for the new update. I missed this phone, though. I feel like I am having a mental declutter when I use it because it only has the basic features of a phone, just in time to do social media fasting in preparation for the holidays.

Speaking of social media, there are two Facebook pages that I recently followed on Facebook, which I find particularly interesting. They are Jam’s Germs and Bible Creation. Jam’s Germs is all about the microscopic world, and I don’t know how it got included in my Facebook algorithm. Maybe I was a tardigrade in my past life? lol One weird fact about me is that I never held a microscope in my entire life, and I was somehow wishing a couple of months back to have a glimpse of what it’s like to work in a lab if you’re a scientist.

It looks like God granted my wish. Through this Facebook page, I got to take a peek at the fascinating world of microorganisms and how they seem to be so otherworldly. As if they don’t coexist with us. By the way, I was also wondering how scientists flirt with their partners if they are both scientists. I can imagine their convo going something like: “Hey, love, let’s create a new cell – my cells and yours combined.” 😀

Okay, enough with the tardigrades, and let’s go now to the other Facebook page I mentioned earlier, before scientists start hating me. lol The name of the Facebook page is Bible Creation, and I am not sure who runs the page. But the authors did a very good job in combining science and faith through storytelling.

Sadly, I would have to cut this storytelling of mine short because it is time for me to get my much-needed rest for the day. And Mom will surely haunt me tonight for posting these photos and sharing about our family tradition. lol

I just want to share the message that family traditions don’t have to die, too, when a loved one passes away. In fact, it should be the other way around. We keep these traditions in memory of them. ❤

During Christmas Day, I always find this necklace inside a sock that Mom would hang on our main door’s knob. She would always tease me that Santa had left a gift. But she will take the necklace back the next day. lol That went on until I became a teenager, and then I could wear it any time. This is to make sure I wouldn’t lose this necklace. 😀
This will always be one of my fondest memories of Christmas Day – the necklace with the blue pendant inside a sock hanging on a doorknob (now, a door handle). ❤

I believe the following Bible verses are the perfect ending to this article about revival:

A Time for Everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

P.S. We miss you, Mommy. We know you’re happy because the house is well decorated again for the holidays. 😀 ❤

P.P.S. Our house, by the way, is about 50 years old already, and the Christmas decorations, including the Christmas tree, are around 20-30 years old, too. Some of the decorations were already brittle they had to be glued so we could still use them. lol

I decorated our condo’s terrace door with these curtain lights in 2020 when we couldn’t come to Bulan due to COVID-19.
These curtain lights now found their way to Bulan and blended perfectly with the Christmas stockings. Thank you, Kuya and Heather, for this photo and for helping me and Ate Boden decorate. 🙂 ❤

These photos may look beautiful, but we are actually dealing with a lot of wear and tear issues already with the house, which we plan to open to the public in the future, God willing, as a bed and breakfast. We’ve had visitors (even strangers) in the past who would take a photo of our house because they find it beautiful. So we thought, why not share the joy this house brings to the world? 😀

This house is Mom and Dad’s greatest achievement as a couple, slowly built over the past 40 years. They both designed this house with the help of an architect, and we have seen how the house transformed from being bare to becoming a masterpiece and a work of art. My siblings also contributed to the transformation, mostly with the interior design.

This house holds many memories and stories to tell, but it could someday come to ruin. But if it is still standing right now, it is because of its foundation – God. 🙂

Praise The Lord!

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It’s that time of year again when everybody will be busy – I am always busy, though. 😀 But because I feel the “tugging” to update this blog, I am writing this article even though I am physically exhausted. When I am too tired, it’s just hard for me to tap into the creative part of my brain.

Before we all get caught up with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I thought I’d share with you a song that I feel should be the “anthem” for this month. I first heard it last year, sang during the youth service of a church beside my apartment. The song is entitled “Praise” by Elevation Worship.

PRAISE (feat. Brandon Lake, Chris Brown & Chandler Moore) | Elevation Worship

Let’s clap, one, two, hey
Oh, yeah

Let everything
That has breath
Praise the Lord (you got it)
Praise the Lord
Let everything (let everything)
(Hey) that has breath
(Hey) praise the Lord
(Hey) praise the Lord

I’ll praise in the valley
Praise on the mountain (yeah)
I’ll praise when I’m sure
And praise when I’m doubting (yes, sir)

I’ll praise when outnumbered
Praise when surrounded
‘Cause praise is the water
My enemies drown in

As long as I’m breathing
I’ve got a reason to

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (c’mon)
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (hey)

I’ll praise when I feel it
And I’ll praise when I don’t
I’ll praise ’cause I know
You’re still in control

Because my praise is a weapon
It’s more than a sound (more than a sound)
Oh, my praise is the shout
That brings Jericho down (oh)

As long as I’m breathing
I’ve got a reason to

Praise the Lord (c’mon)
Oh, my soul
(So I’m gonna) praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (oh)

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
So how could I keep it inside?
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul
(Praise the Lord)

Come on, let me see that dance
Put a dance on it tonight
If you’re grateful
Come on, aye, aye (eh)

I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign
Praise ’cause You reign
Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave
I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful
Praise ’cause You’re true
Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You, I’ll praise

I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign
(You reign) praise ’cause You reign
Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave

I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful
Praise ’cause You’re true
Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (come on, come on, come on, come on)
I gotta praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul (yes, my Lord)
Praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
How could I keep it inside?
(Oh, I won’t be quiet)

I won’t be quiet (my God)
My God is alive (how could I?)
How could I keep it inside?
(Oh, I won’t be quiet)

I won’t be quiet, my God is alive
How could I keep it inside?

praise the Lord
Oh, my soul

Let everything
That has breath
Hey, hey (praise the Lord)
Hey, hey (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
Come on, come on (that has breath)
Come on, come on (praise the Lord)
Come on, come on (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
If you got breath in your body (that has breath)
If you got breath in your body (praise the Lord)
Praise the Lord, come on (praise the Lord)

Let everything (let everything)
That has breath (that has breath)
Praise the Lord (praise the Lord)
What? (Praise the Lord)

A busking rendition of it also appeared on my Facebook news feed as performed by Ms. Kate Torres, who’s also an Autism advocate. Please do check out and follow her page through this link: https://www.facebook.com/katetorrestv/about. I am praying she’ll include Bicol in her future live performances. I’ll definitely be in all of them, even as far as Catanduanes. 😀

I love busking so much (playing the guitar is also my favorite hobby) because it is raw and simple music, highlighting only the artist’s voice and the musical instrument. I find this type of music very calming, uplifting, and soulful.

It is also my prayer that worship busking will become a regular, not just inside the malls, but also in parks, offices, hospitals, and just literally EVERYWHERE. Here are some of her Facebook videos and reels performing live in my favorite hangout place in Manila – BGC. Because BGC is near our condo, and there are a lot of music artists busking there. 😀

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/177L8eQ8gs/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1D8Vv6oRaB/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1KKQCbB5wA/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Tama ang sa Bible verse na, “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” – Matthew 18:20

I also encourage you to make this your dance number at your Christmas parties. 😉 You can check out the dance videos below for inspiration.

The energy in this first video reminds me of my spiritual journey in Victory GT Toyota and Victory Katipunan – churches near the Ateneo de Manila University and my alma mater, the University of the Philippines (Diliman) – from 2013 to 2018. I was a young professional back then, and being in a congregation of jumping worshippers composed mostly of students (youth service) during praise and worship is contagious. I am not that expressive when singing worship songs, but with an ecstatic crowd, you can’t help but join in the fun. 😀

I am not promoting any church, by the way, because I actually came from a family with diverse religions. For me, as long as the center of the church is Christ and you are spiritually growing, be in that church.

This second dance video has more complicated footwork and hand movements, but still not too difficult to execute.

And this third video is for “Zumba Titas,” me included. 😀

I would have to skip videos #1 and #2 because all the jumping is so “makulog” sa aking likod. 😆😆😆

In case you didn’t notice, I used 3 languages here – English, Bicol, and Filipino respectively.

If I have a kid, he’d most likely go, Moooooom, you’re speaking “chop suey” language again?!?!?!

Well, sweetheart, that’s the advantage of having a Mom who’s a Bicolana, a Filipina, and an English Studies major. How about you? Can you try the “pinakbet” language, too? Kay yaadi ka sa Bulan, mag-Bikol ka. 😆

Seriously, though, I don’t encourage using this kind of language. When I was a student in UP Diliman, there was a particular department notorious for using this “conyo” language (it’s from the College of Science 😁). I observed that culturally it represents the language of the elite, though I can’t really pinpoint how. I guess it’s similar to how branded clothes, muscle cars, or pets with specific breeds become a form of status symbol. I support the “Adopt, Don’t Shop” advocacy, by the way. It just so happens that my husband gave me a ginger Exotic British Shorthair as a surprise gift.

Society’s norms dictate that if you have these things, then you are now culturally accepted as “can afford” or “maykaya,” especially when you live in the province. Some of our English professors describe the “conyo” language as a total abuse of both the English and the Filipino languages because it awkwardly breaks your sentences into fragments, making it difficult for your listeners to process and understand. So in our department, this language sort of became an object of sarcasm and was made into a joke.

But now, when I hear people talk or write using this language, I have to remind myself that “to each his own.” And that, as a born-again Christian, these prejudices should no longer dominate my relationships with other people. This means I will no longer make fun of the “conyo” language, but you won’t hear me using this language either. Unless…um…never mind. 😁

To end this article, AI can create music, poems, and visual art. But AI can’t replicate the collective experience that you’d get when artists and creatives come together. It’s just plain mesmerizing and at the same time overwhelming when you are physically rejoicing and celebrating with the body of Christ. Ramdam na ramdam mo ang presensya ni Lord. I guess that is the power of fellowship as expressed through praise and worship.

I believe this song is just right for the season – let’s praise the Lord because we survived 2025, and here we are still hoping AND giving hope moving forward. ❤

“Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works!” – Psalm 105:2

P.S. I am posting several versions of this song because I want it to be your last song syndrome for a month. lol Because God indeed deserves all our praise for sending His son, Jesus Christ, so man can be saved – this should be the only reason for celebrating the season. 🙏

Here’s another version featuring Tiffany Hudson. ❤

Flash It Back This Friday

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I reactivated my personal Facebook account for just a couple of minutes to search for old photos of my 2nd sister and brother when I stumbled upon these old photos of mine. I thought I should also post these photos here just in case I decide not to reactivate my Fb account for good.

I am also feeling oh-so-shameless now to post them publicly because I seldom post anything like this. lol In fact, this is the first and probably the last time I’ll be posing in front of a professional photographer, given my introverted nature. Actually, I think I am more of an otrovert.

Do otroverts look like this? 😂

Just for context, here’s the story behind these photos.

I was working on my master’s thesis in 2013 when a couple of my friends from graduate studies suggested we have our graduation photos taken already, as we were targeting to finish it in just two semesters. Sadly, only 1 of us was able to graduate on time. lol My reason, though, was a shift in priorities.

The Creative Shot was part of the graduation pictorial along with the Toga and UP Sablay Shots. Since I had no prior experience in modeling, I asked the photographer if he could be creative enough on my behalf. 😂

Before we started, he asked me if I’m a “rakista.” I told him that I am not. I guess the fedora gave away my love for singing and the guitar, since there are some musicians who wear fedoras, which became their signature style onstage. Or he’s just too good at reading people’s personalities based on their fashion style or aura.

By the way, this dress belonged to the photography team and is included in the set of costumes for the pictorial. I chose this dress because blue violet is my favorite color, and it was also the right fit. I was weighing 49 kgs only back then, compared to my 60 kgs now. lol But the fedora (borrowed from my bro), accessories, and shoes were all mine. I was supposed to bring the guitar with me, but it’s too bulky. Though it looked like I pulled off the “rakista” look even without the guitar.

I would like to commend the photographer because he’s just very skilled in capturing the right angles. He also captured the “rakista” vibe in me just by guiding me on how to pose. Since I have a flat nose, the serious look isn’t my best bet. So, I wasn’t really confident doing these poses because I knew I wouldn’t be looking my best. And they really aren’t the best in my honest opinion. lol

But I guess the photos turned out okay, all thanks to Kuya photographer’s superb skills in composing every photo. He even climbed on a chair to get a good overhead shot. I just edited these photos using Adobe Lightroom because I was aiming for a “morena” skin complemented by my flat nose to pull off the “dalagang Pilipina” look. 😉

Personality wise, this is my other side. Beneath the “smiling always” demeanor, I also have a temper, which I call “The Kraken.” I tend to be on the extreme ends of the spectrum – I am either too kind or too harsh. I still have to find the right balance, so while I’m in the process of doing that, I don’t socialize often because there’s a high chance I’ll offend people if I won’t be able to control myself.

But praise God for the gift of salvation and faith, I think I am making progress on self control albeit slow and small. A progress is still a progress, right? As they say, celebrate even your small wins. 🙂🙏

What’s another side of you that people don’t get to see often?

P.S.

If you’re wondering why I was digging old photos on Facebook, my 2nd sister and brother are the November celebrants in the family. I was looking for something nostalgic to add to my birthday greetings for them. 😊

I’ll also take this time to share one of my brother’s greatest milestones, which is being one of the 189 officers who finished the Command and General Staff Course (Class 76) of the Armed Forces of the Philippines representing Philippine Navy’s Naval Air Warfare Force. And he finished it as an Honor Graduate, too. 😻

Congratulations, Kuya Commander Abe! 🫡
With his very own Gal Gadot, my very pretty sis-in-law, Heather. 😻

Ah, yes, that is my brother, one of my accountability partners, and the one who planted the seed for my being born again. Together with my sister-in-law, they are living proof of God’s profound love and faithfulness.

May God’s favors and protection be upon you always, our brother bear, as you conquer new heights in your career.

Soli Deo gloria! 🙏🥰

P.P.S.

You can check out the other poses I did for the Creative Shot through this link: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2024/04/09/when-they-say-glam-up/. 😊

Officially A Teen: Happy 13th Birthday, The Journeyman’s Moments!

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This blog turned 13 last October 21 – it’s officially a “teen.” 😄 To celebrate this milestone, I thought about writing a letter instead because I need to write this quick.

We have had no internet connection for 2 weeks now, despite following up with Converge. I’m currently using my cellular network’s data just so I could post this – thank you, Globe. Still, God is good all the time. 🙏😊

To my dearly beloved The Journeyman’s Moments,

You were born in 2012 out of a need to clear my name from a painful past. I never thought that you would become an online journal for my spiritual journey.

I also wasn’t expecting that I’d be able to post here regularly. And yet, the weekly posts turned to monthly posts, and eventually, to posting every year.

You bear witness to my every rise and fall, to my every tear and laughter – a testament of God’s saving grace day in and day out, year in and year out.

As my experiences grew, you grew with it. When I became wiser, your words became better. I changed, you changed, too.

You are more than an online journal for me. Because you are my constant reminder of a life lived in full despite the changing seasons.

When I need a good laugh, I come back to the old memories here. When I need encouragement, your words give me renewed hope and comfort.

But I guess the most important reason as to why you’re one of God’s greatest gifts is that because of you, a deeper sense of accountability was instilled in me over every single word I post here.

You are my testimony on how living by faith does not happen by mere words alone, but by living it out and letting it be known through you for the whole world to see.

My dear, we still have so many stories to tell – I have more than a hundred drafts. lol You know what that means, we have a lot of work to do for as long as God is still working in us. 🥰

You are me, and I am you. Thanks be to WordPress – our memories will be preserved for future generations to laugh with, to cry with, and to be inspired by.

So, with internet or not, we will find a way to make our stories seen and heard – God will make a way. 😁

Always your creator made by another Creator,

Christine ❤️

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

The Angels – The Protection: The Judgment – The Redemption

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Is the world getting better?

Some say that the end times are near, some say this is only the beginning of a transition. Some believe evil is getting stronger, some say good will still triumph. Some are hopeless, some are still hopeful.

The vast expanse of easily accessible information on the internet is learning at its best, but can also get everyone baffled, almost to the point of “sheep getting lost” – once again. There’s just too much groaning and a dire need for a Savior, a change, or an ending.

He will come again, but for now, the sheep is instructed to listen and listen carefully amidst the noise and the chaos. This means putting on our “spiritual ears,” as I call it, to filter out God’s message for us. And also putting on our “spiritual lenses” to see and interpret the signs appropriately, because not all signs come from the Lord. As the Bible said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” – John 10:27

I may be talking in riddles, but I know those who have been called by God to read this and have been anointed with the gift to interpret them will get the true message. Now is the time for some people to do what God has asked them to do with the Spirit’s guidance.

On my end, I would’ve continued my WordPress hibernation because I have been extremely busy (still am) lately, dealing with and adjusting to major life transitions (career shifts, family duties as a sandwich generation, LDR in my marriage, project launches, health adjustments, etc.) if not for the Spirit’s tugging that I post this article. The signs have been too visible to dismiss. And I believe this is now God’s perfect time to share them all here.

Angels Here on Earth

Let me start with angels. They came as winged, but not huge. They didn’t come as bearers of Good News, but they came as a sign. Let me introduce you to our new batch of chicks (the 3rd time is a charm, as they say) from Mama White, our white hen. 😃 They are special because we seldom get a batch with only one color.

Our previous batches of hatched chicks were usually a mix of different colors, but this time, the chicks were all white. I’ll be writing more about my backyard poultry raising experience in a separate post, which will cover everything from creating and putting systems in place for sustainability purposes to the challenges we encountered and the solutions we came up with.

Wings In White

Is an all-white batch of chicks a coincidence? No. Because they were all born during a time when there was too much happening in and around me. If you are a follower of Christ (this is the literal meaning of my name, actually), and you are doing everything you can to spread the Gospel, do expect that the attacks of the enemy will increase. But also remember, God is greater than every single one of these enemies.

The white color is oftentimes associated with angelic beings, as this color typically represents purity, holiness, and spiritual light. Though we all know that angels in the Bible come in many forms, and they are not always in white.

Going back to the chicks, 7 chicks hatched. I interpreted it as 7 archangels and also God’s number, which means completion, perfection, and fulfilment. Unfortunately, I lost 4 of them to a disease that has been killing some of the free-range chickens in the neighborhood. Only 3 survived with sizes that range from small, medium, and large. I interpreted it as the top 3 archangels – Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael.

The Whities

Getting Acquainted With Archangels

Who are these archangels? Michael is the most powerful archangel. He is considered the “Warrior of God” among all the archangels, and it’s no wonder that his name translates to “who is like God?”. Gabriel is “God’s Messenger,” or the archangel of revelation. And Raphael is the archangel of healing and guidance, whose Hebrew name means “God has healed.” I see all these 3 archangels in these 3 white chicks who survived. How?

Archangel Michael is best represented by the biggest chick. He is very strong and asserts dominance in the batch. Archangel Gabriel is best represented by the mid-size chick because he seems to be chirping always. lol And I see Archangel Raphael in the smallest chick because he’s survived two waves of the disease already. He always recovers every time.

By the way, for this batch, I did pray to God to give me at least one stag because in the previous batches, the chicks that survived were all pullets. God answered my prayer, and He gave me a batch of roosters, all 7 of them newly hatched chicks. It’s like God’s way of telling me, “Christine, you are so serious about life, here’s something to make you laugh that will be one for the books.” 😀

And indeed, the experience made it to “the book,” a.k.a. this online journal of mine. I am just grateful for this opportunity to share my spiritual journey with everyone, with the hope that you might be able to discover God’s specific instructions for you as well here.

How Judgment Will Take Place

Angels were sent to protect and to destroy. A war could be coming, thus, warriors were sent for protection. Then, judgment begins.

In Christ’s second coming, we will be judged and rewarded based on what we did that God said we are not supposed to do and what we didn’t do that God said we are supposed to do. How should we respond then? You might want to ponder on some of the following thoughts/questions in relation to this:

  1. Is God asking you to speak up?
  2. Is God asking you to keep quiet?
  3. Is God asking you to extend mercy?
  4. Is God asking you to defend?
  5. Is God asking you to lead?
  6. Is God asking you to submit?
  7. Is God asking you to let go?
  8. Is God asking you to hold on?
  9. Is God asking you to wait?
  10. Is God asking you to act?

I can come up with a long list of these kinds of questions, but I will let the Spirit do the tugging in your heart and reveal what He wants you to know. But one thing is for sure after encountering a lot of “warriors”, God is asking us to declare “Jehovah Nissi” – the war will intensify.

A Call For Warriors

If your name means a “warrior,” your parents gave you that name not out of coincidence, but it was preordained. It means the time will come when God will ask you to be the warrior that He has called you to be, and you have to respond in obedience. I happened to name our new boy cat “Finley.” The name just popped into my head, and when I searched about the meaning of the name online, I found out that it means “fair warrior.” It just seemed fair given that he is a semi ginger cat. lol

What our boy cat is doing lately. 😸

I guess it is also not a coincidence that I chose the name “Caden” a few years back, if ever God will give me a son or a daughter. When I searched the meaning of the name online, it means “spirit of war.” I first mentioned the name in this article.

Also, my favorite verses in this season are about the Armor of God. Then I had this image of a woman warrior in my mind, and I searched the internet for any similar images so I could put it on one of my social media profiles. It now makes sense to me as I feel like I am being “attacked” on every side. Well, I think everyone is going through all sorts of battles right now.

I also just came across the “Warrior Nun” series on Netflix, which is all about a warrior of God, too. But be on your guard when you watch this series because some dialogues contain quite a lot of profanity, and the series can only be interpreted as a work of fiction and nothing else.

Spirit-Led Signs

I do believe, however, that God did not send these signs for nothing, nor are they a coincidence. They were visible assurances from the Lord that only mean one thing – soldier on.

At this point, I felt like suggesting we study how great kingdoms led by powerful and anointed kings and leaders crumble. The likes of King David, King Solomon, and we can also include Samson, or use Joseph as an example when avoiding temptations. The common theme I am seeing from these stories is the failure to run away (except for Joseph) from temptations, particularly the temptation of lust and women.

What socio-political issues are we facing now that somehow highlight the failure to avoid temptations stirring people (victims or not) and dragging them to the pitfalls of sin and doom? I am not going to name names, but I will be sharing the following Bible verses as God’s reminder for us all that we are not fighting against flesh and blood. I also stumbled upon Isaiah 34 while I randomly opened the Bible out of my need to find answers and to quiet my soul.

“Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.” – Proverbs 13:11

Psalm 37

A Psalm of David

1 Don’t worry about the wicked
    or envy those who do wrong.
2 For like grass, they soon fade away.
    Like spring flowers, they soon wither.

3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
    Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you your heart’s desires.

5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
    and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
    or fret about their wicked schemes.

8 Stop being angry!
    Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
    it only leads to harm.
9 For the wicked will be destroyed,
    but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.

10 Soon the wicked will disappear.
    Though you look for them, they will be gone.
11 The lowly will possess the land
    and will live in peace and prosperity.

12 The wicked plot against the godly;
    they snarl at them in defiance.
13 But the Lord just laughs,
    for he sees their day of judgment coming.

14 The wicked draw their swords
    and string their bows
to kill the poor and the oppressed,
    to slaughter those who do right.
15 But their swords will stab their own hearts,
    and their bows will be broken.

16 It is better to be godly and have little
    than to be evil and rich.
17 For the strength of the wicked will be shattered,
    but the Lord takes care of the godly.

18 Day by day the Lord takes care of the innocent,
    and they will receive an inheritance that lasts forever.
19 They will not be disgraced in hard times;
    even in famine they will have more than enough.

20 But the wicked will die.
    The Lord’s enemies are like flowers in a field—
    they will disappear like smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and never repay,
    but the godly are generous givers.
22 Those the Lord blesses will possess the land,
    but those he curses will die.

23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
    He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
    for the Lord holds them by the hand.

25 Once I was young, and now I am old.
    Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned
    or their children begging for bread.
26 The godly always give generous loans to others,
    and their children are a blessing.

27 Turn from evil and do good,
    and you will live in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves justice,
    and he will never abandon the godly.

He will keep them safe forever,
    but the children of the wicked will die.
29 The godly will possess the land
    and will live there forever.

30 The godly offer good counsel;
    they teach right from wrong.
31 They have made God’s law their own,
    so they will never slip from his path.

32 The wicked wait in ambush for the godly,
    looking for an excuse to kill them.
33 But the Lord will not let the wicked succeed
    or let the godly be condemned when they are put on trial.

34 Put your hope in the Lord.
    Travel steadily along his path.
He will honor you by giving you the land.
    You will see the wicked destroyed.

35 I have seen wicked and ruthless people
    flourishing like a tree in its native soil.
36 But when I looked again, they were gone!
    Though I searched for them, I could not find them!

37 Look at those who are honest and good,
    for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.
38 But the rebellious will be destroyed;
    they have no future.

39 The Lord rescues the godly;
    he is their fortress in times of trouble.
40 The Lord helps them,
    rescuing them from the wicked.
He saves them,
    and they find shelter in him.

Isaiah 34: Judgment on the Nations

But here’s the good thing about God’s grace and mercy when there’s repentance – God redeems. There is no fallen warrior in God’s sight. Some will die by the sword, some will fight battles unseen. But every battle fought in His name spells “V-I-C-T-O-R-Y” in Heaven’s realm. So fear not, for His angels are fighting alongside us, all led by the Holy Spirit. Again, the time to declare JEHOVAH NISSI is now. Whose side are you on?

Please pray this prayer with me:

Dear Lord,

We humbly come before you with all our battlescars, tired and wounded. And yet we know the battle is far from over. We know there will be moments when we feel like we are on the losing end, but we have faith that as our Jehovah Nissi, You will fight alongside us to bring redemption and once and for all extinguish the flaming arrows of the enemy meant to destroy Your beautiful creations.

You are a God of justice, and where You are, Lord, we know that justice will prevail. Call out, Lord, those whom you have anointed and appointed to rise up and lead Your armies. Equip us, Lord, with the armor fitting for every bearer of Your Name. May You lift every brave soul to commit to their calling as God’s warriors until such time that You say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

We pray for the nations and for Your people, Lord. Though we fight battles seen or unseen that may divide us and displace us, our dwelling remains in You, for You live inside each of us. May we never forget that in the midst of the rise and fall of kingdoms and the worshipping of other gods is a one true God who remains in control. This we claim in Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

P.S. Because I am no Disney princess (definitely not a nepo baby, too), but a simple and introverted gardener, I care less about how I look. So, I have started this poultry project with such exuberance that I totally forgot about protecting myself from mosquito bites, coming in contact with chicken poop, and prolonging outdoor activities, which made me lose track of time, skip meals, and be dehydrated for most of the day.

The consequences? Well, my immune system went down and I got this severe skin allergy flare-up from mosquito bites that even the ointment that I used previously to treat these allergies seemed to now have an adverse reaction on my skin, too. Crazy body of mine, eh? lol

But I also got another health scare – what if this was cellulitis because I also have minor cuts on my hands and feet from play time with ze baby boy cat, and I’ve been washing soiled chicken feeders with my bare hands? But of course, I will not blame him because his cuteness overload will just melt your heart. I am going to write an article about him in my future posts, so be prepared to fall in a furry kind of love. 😉

Is it just me or is this postscript getting longer already? 😁 So, I am ending it with this realization from the skin allergy flare-up that has now left my arms and hands with visible scars that are actually the least of my concerns.

It was my Dad who was a bit worried about these scars and asked me if there was an ointment to whiten the dark spots fast. I smiled and told him that there’s no need to do that because I will let my skin heal itself, albeit slowly. I intend on wearing these scars loud and proud. They remind me that my body survived – I survived.

Battlescars, tangible or not, meant little to nothing when you have a God who loves you just the same even when you are all disfigured – that kind of rare and real love that goes beyond the superficial. ❤️

On a side note, my top 3 priorities if it is God’s plan that I’d be a good steward of generational wealth as a nepo baby (which will never happen, btw 😆) are expanding the businesses, organizing charitable foundations, and creating social enterprises. Because what I do with what God has given me is my way of giving back to Him. This blog is one of my gifts to God. 🙏🙂

This is, by far, the longest postscript I have ever written it can pass up as another article. lol Sorry, Lord, I’m just feeling lazy editing this article, but I have faith the readers will get the message crystal clear. 😉