The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
Ha! I’m the first one to do the goofy pose this time (for a change). lol 😀
I am squeezing in this article despite my pending tasks for today as part of our 2nd year wedding anniversary celebration. Yes, 2 years down the marriage lane and by God’s grace, I can thankfully say we are getting better, stronger, and deeper with our relationship with God and with one another. (Awww Tin, sniff, sniff.) 😀
Seriously though, I am also sharing two awesome articles which I found over Fb news feed shared by a friend and the other was advertised. One is about grace and the other one is about how to keep your marriage intact. These articles are a huge help to all those who are married and even to those who are single but are planning to enter the married couples department.
In contrast to the article I have written for our first year wedding anniversary, I won’t delve into nitty gritty details about our year as a married couple for 2017. The start of this year has been more like the ‘calm after the storm.’ If you’ve been reading my blog posts since the start of this year, you’ll know why. 🙂
I told hubby dear that I don’t want to celebrate this year’s wedding anniversary with lavish dates and extravagant gifts because first, receiving gifts is not my love language and second, we are saving financially (I can be very kuripot too fyi. lol). The fact that we’re still together after all that we’ve been through is enough gift for me. In fact, it is the best gift that I always thank God for every single day. ❤
Ah yes, to the single sisters and brothers in Christ reading this, you’ll understand when you get married and go through yourself the chapters of the married life. But for the married couples, I know they all agree (including me) to what our pastors in church would always reiterate – “marriage is hard work.”
I told hubby that our first year wedding anniversary deserves that much of an emphasis because it’s the most crucial year for any newlyweds. It’s that year when you’re starting to get to know each other in an extremely deeper level like what ticks him off when he’s at home, what are my routines, etc., and adjusting to living together under one roof.
For the first few months after our first year wedding anniversary, we’re still experiencing ripples of that adjustment period and honestly, even now, we are still adjusting to one another. My Mom actually advised me that it indeed takes a lifetime to know your spouse. She added that she and my Dad (both in their 70s now) are still making those adjustments even after 44 years of being married.
But don’t interpret this in a way that the married life is far too burdensome. Although I might have to add that at some point in your married life you would feel that way, I assure you that for the greater part, it is an awesome journey holistically. It will nourish every aspect of your life and every aspect of who you are.
Personally, being married made us grow deeper in our walk with God. I must admit that our faith was extremely challenged to the point wherein we felt like we’re too exhausted to fight it out, and yet, by the grace of God, you will “indeed soar with wings like an eagle” and fly like never before.
To put it in another way, this article has no meaning if I won’t say that it was all God who made our marriage the way it is now. Our own efforts are useless – if and only if they are the only things that we hold on to every time challenges of all sort come our way. It was all about God, all about our prayers every single night, all about finding ways to attend and listen to the Sunday preaching, all about hearing out from spiritual mentors, and all about our trust in Him every single day, in every decision, in every thought, in every action, just literally everything.
Everything is about God and that is the bottom line of it all. Remove God in the husband and wife equation and it sure will fail. No amount of human effort can save a failing marriage except by the loving grace of God.
Believe me, I have been through very tough circumstances but I never gave up on my husband because I know God will never give up on us for as long as we keep the commitment – our marriage vows. I know that my husband is not perfect and neither am I that’s why it is a given that we will both fail each other through the entire course of our marriage. But it is not in ourselves that we rely on for hope, instead, we put it in God.
Well honestly, I can’t help but cry a tear or two (yes, I counted them. lol) while typing this and I looked back at every single moment that my husband and I went through. Through the good and the bad times, God was always there. I felt Him, I heard Him but it took me my COMPLETE trust in Him as well.
There were moments wherein imagining now, I know my husband and I wouldn’t be able to make it through, and you may indeed call it as the worst of the worst. But I held on to my faith. I trusted blindly to the point that I just surrendered everything to God.
Yes, our human frailties will require we REALLY let go of some things. Instead, let God take over, let God fix what needs to be fixed, ask God to give you wisdom, clarity, and instructions – HE WILL NEVER FAIL YOU.
If I cry now while I type this, that’s because I am overwhelmed by the fact that all three of us made it all through – God, Brian, and me. If you are reading this and you’re going through the toughest times in your marriage, I encourage you to NEVER GIVE UP. Never give up on your spouse and most definitely, never give up on God. HOLD ON TO HIS BEAUTIFUL PROMISES.
Pray that God will soften hearts; pray that God will heal gaping wounds; pray for restoration; pray for reconciliation; pray for forgiveness; pray for a change in you and a change in your spouse; and most of all, LISTEN TO WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY.
Never let your emotions drown the voice of God. Calm yourself and calm your spirit by immersing in the BIBLE day and night. Your bible will be your guide, it will be your weapon when the enemy starts to fill in your thoughts and your heart with lies.
What are these lies? Let me just share a couple of them and they are the usual thoughts:
your husband/wife doesn’t love you anymore
you are not worthy of love
you will not change
your spouse will not change
there is no hope for both of us
the damage has already been done
the damage is far too great
he/she will be happy with someone else
he/she is not the right one for me
I am a failure
Counterattack these lies with these TRUTHS instead:
my husband/wife will always love me no matter what
I am worthy of the greatest love Jesus died for me on the Cross
I will change by God’s grace in God’s time according to His plans
my spouse will change by God’s grace in God’s time according to His plans
there is ALWAYS HOPE IN CHRIST JESUS OUR SAVIOR
we all make mistakes BUT we are also given CHANCES
NOTHING is too damaged or too broken for God to heal and restore
I can make my spouse happy
my spouse is God’s best for me (claim it in Jesus’ Name)
I am a work in progress and God will see to it that “whatever work He’s started in me will be brought to completion in His perfect time”
Lastly, claim God’s beautiful promises for you and your spouse and fight for your marriage. Look at the bigger picture and don’t be too absorbed by the small things or the stumbling blocks in front of you.
Instead, THANK GOD EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY.
And always look at your end goal as a married couple by keeping these vows you made in front of God latched in your heart safe and secure:
“Through thick and thin, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part…” ❤
P.S.
I’d like to thank my spouse for keeping the faith, for not giving up, for redirecting me to God during the times that I felt so weak, for praying with me always, for the many chances to change, and last but not the least, for loving me beyond my imperfections. ❤
Oh and also, for being so patient with me like in the photo above during one of our photo stints last Sunday for a project. 😀
I love God and I love my husband. Nope, it’s an understatement – I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH – God first, my husband next. 🙂
To cap off this cheesiness, do watch this awesome cover of “Say You Won’t Let Go” by Moira dela Torre. 😉
I’d like to start this very LONG article with a note of gratitude to God for making things possible from provisions, clear weather, safe travel everywhere and everything else in between. I’d like to thank my dear husband as well for every small and great thing he did for us. I do not intend though to share every wedding anniversary celebration that hubby and I have as there are some moments that make it to social media and there are those which do not. But I thought I’d give credit to our first year wedding anniversary considering that the first year for newlywed couples is the hardest when it comes to adjustment and settling of differences.
Thus, this article will be a testimony on how the grace of God manifested in our first year as a married couple but most especially how God made our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration extra special.
As it is written,
Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD.” – 1 Corinthians 1:31
Amazing it is when a couple makes a really big and extra effort in putting God at the center of their marriage even though circumstances and schedules permit otherwise. If you are to ask me what are they, I’d give a few instances. One would be temptations. Numerous situations will tempt you and your hubby to behave in a manner that is not right with God. This does not just pertain to temptations of the flesh like lust but other temptations like fits of rage, harsh words, doubts, impatience and a whole lot more.
Another would be priorities. I believe most of us are guilty of this: prioritizing those that shouldn’t be. One example was when hubby and I were so engrossed watching movies or checking out social media stuff and then when it was time to hit the hay, we’re both too sleepy to pray. Or that moment when we’re supposed to go to church but we kind of miscalculated our schedules, we ended up doing household chores first.
For us, these were mistakes and/or realizations on how to put God at the center. Going to church is not enough. In fact, we learned that putting God at the center of our lives meant every single thing that we do whether at home, or in work or in school whether we are with each other or with other people, God should always be included. It has to be Him whom we should think about first and consider whether it would be pleasing and honorable to God or whether it is in accordance to God’s will.
I have shared in my first article regarding our 1st year wedding anniversary (1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister and Missus) the nitty gritty details of our lives as a husband and a wife. But in this article, it’ll be more of the “greater learning” that Brian and I have gathered in the 1st year of our experiences together. I haven’t mentioned yet the really not-so-good-stuff that he and I went through although I thought I’ll just give an overview on how most of them went – never good, always bad and sometimes worst.
The worst so far is something that you could think of as unbearable. Not just for us but for those who loved us too which made them intervene so it wouldn’t turn out to be THE worst. I am referring to our parents and our families. They are our mentors in this season. They’ve been there with us since the first day that Brian and I got married.
I couldn’t imagine my life as a wife and we wouldn’t be where we are now after multiple attempts of separating if it wasn’t for God sending these mentors and for all the advice, the encouragement and words of wisdom that our families have shared especially on my side. I felt I had to share some of the tough times that Brian and I went through with them to seek for counsel right away lest I become too emotional over matters and I would overlook important and necessary things.
It has always been my belief to seek wisdom in a matter of different perspectives and never one sided only. Relying on one’s own interpretation of situations could lead to a clouded judgment and in decision making, it is crucial that we get to see the bigger picture of what really goes on. Being a woman, my emotions tend to get in the way thus accountability partners are very much well appreciated on my part.
If there’s one prayer that I have for now, it is that God would continue to protect our marriage and continue to prepare me and Brian and provide all that we needed holistically so that we would be ready in any given circumstance when the enemy strikes. We always remind each other during a heated discussion that it is not one another that we are against but the forces of evil in this world.
I can only love and thank God that through our very trying times being married, God answered our call for help. All those desperate and hopeless times felt like there’s no better way to go through them but to quit and yet God never fails, His love never fails – He always remained faithful and true to His promises and His reminders are always there.
Thinking back of those times when we thought we were the cruelest, most selfish of people going through the most challenging situations ever did God teach us all about humility and submission. Forgiveness makes a whole lot of difference most especially if it is accompanied with sincere apologies and sincere actions of change.
Ahhh yes, those days were over. If they do come back, we know how to deal with it. We may not deal with it completely as perfect as how we should deal with it, but I know and I am positive there will be changes. This is God’s way of perfecting our faith in us. There will be more to come, but looking back, all I ever saw was one set of footprints and that is enough assurance that I have such a powerful God who can lift me up in whatever circumstance I am going through.
Now on to the testimony of our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration, I just don’t know how to express my gratitude and my happiness on how the Lord our God moved in behalf of us. AMAZING. Though this is not enough to describe it, that is the only word from my human vocabulary that I could think of to describe what transpired over that weekend.
August 17 was our anniversary date. It fell on a Wednesday. Brian and I planned our celebration the 1st weekend after that date. I was the one who made all the arrangements as Brian was busy at work and I, on the other hand, had an ample time to spare to inquire about this and that. I was also in charge with the budgeting and it is only Brian’s income that we’re relying on so I need to make sure we won’t go over the budget. So there was me searching all kinds of great but budget-friendly options.
The plan: have a dinner cruise in the evening, then an overnight-stay at the hotel. So there were only 2 items in our itinerary. Then came the cancellation of the dinner cruise as yacht was under maintenance so we were given options to choose among the dates they have offered and August 28 was the nearest from our wedding anniversary though it’s already 2 weeks away from the actual date.But I thought it wouldn’t matter anyway as it still falls on our anniversary month. I am not really particular about dates I even forget them, the special ones included. *wink*
So came August 17, and I thought we’re gonna treat it as a regular day since we’re going to celebrate it anyway. But lo and behold, to my surprise, Hubby arrived home from work braving the heavy rains and all the traffic with something in his hand – a bouquet of assorted flowers. Okay, now he and I had an agreement that I will only receive one flower from him in our entire lifetime together and that will be the first and the last as I will be preserving it – a memorabilia on preserving our love together as a couple. This was the rose that he gave me on our first Valentine’s day date back when we were still dating.
When I saw the bouquet of course I smiled my widest, gave him a tight hug and a sweet kiss and then told him that he doesn’t have to. His answer was that he knew I will like them. So I teased him that now I have so many flowers to preserve and I am running out of glass canisters to put them. lol
Well, I guess both of us knew what each of us wanted because I also made him a video which was a compilation of our wacky shots since we first met up to now. I showed it to him that night as well when he gave me the bouquet.
So now came the week before our final schedule for the celebration. That week had a pretty rough weather we were really running out of hopes that we’ll be celebrating the anniversary with a clear weather which means our plans will be ruined or we’ll make do of what we can. I never thought about canceling our plans but Brian wanted to move it to a later date.
Unfortunately we have limited options in doing so so I assured him to have faith, be patient, trust in the Lord and that we’ll continue praying. Come Thursday Brian was having pressing moments at work. I was sure he will really appreciate being able to do some adventurous stuff knowing the sporty person that he is. So I thought about coming up with another item in our itinerary – go to Rizal and have some nature and adventure fun in Daranak Falls. It was so out of the original plan but I checked the budget, we’ll still make it. I suggested the idea and he approved, excitedly approved actually.
I checked out reviews and blogs about the place and we came up with an itinerary. A few hours before we left, heavy rains still poured every now and then that my husband had dampened spirits too. I cheered him up when we woke up in the morning and saw the sun peering out. But hubby still told me it might rain hard for the rest of the day. We’re going to be doing a lot of road traveling and sight seeing and doing it on a rainy weather is a no-no as roads are slippery and we won’t enjoy the view anyway.
I once again comforted him that God has already answered our prayer request for a clear weather which we’ve been praying for how many nights in a row already. I told him that we should never give up along the way as my mentors would always remind me to look at the bigger picture, never on the road block or the problem that’s blocking the road or the view and to continue focusing on the goal and not on the journey. Our goal was to enjoy our wedding anniversary celebration in whatever circumstance.
So we ate an early breakfast and started heading out. Indeed, the Lord was faithful. For the rest of our first day/part 1 celeb, we’ve been given a clear weather. We’ve enjoyed nature at its best on a sunny weather. Just right because the falls were cool. If it was raining that day, we wouldn’t be able to withstand the cold water for long. But since it was a sunny day, hubby and I just had the best time having a hydro massage at the mini falls across the huge one.
Usually the place is flocked every weekend since it is just an hour ride away from the metro. But I guess since nobody expected for the weather to clear up right away on that day, there was only a small crowd (about 10-15 people) who was enjoying the resort with us. You could choose to roam around downstream, the huge falls, the river bed, the two smaller falls and you’ll still get a space for a nice shot without a photobomber. *wink*
The splendor of Mother Nature.
A very beautiful specie of butterfly fluttering around me while trying to take a good shot of her – the first of its kind.
Here goes hubby’s epic jump!
Here’s a short video of our escapade there (do watch it at 480p):
God is good all the time, eh? But wait, that’s just the beginning of our itinerary. Because the 2 events we originally listed became 8. Well, I couldn’t count exactly because it all just happened out of the blue. We’re like going along the flow whichever God would want us to do and want us to have.
So we got to visit the windmills farm, the parola beside the lake (which I thought was a sea growing up in a coastal area), checked out the old historical church nearby and tried some local cuisine for snacks.
Everything went perfectly well even with how we managed the time (and expenses) and no traffic! Ha! Hubby was sure glad to drive with ease the whole time being surrounded with all the greenery. The car we used was Brian and his brother’s as they have another one for the family car. They share in using it but I told Bri to let his brother use it as they already have a baby and commuting with a toddler is tad difficult. Told him we will just borrow when there is a pressing need like this anniv celeb which happens only once a year. So praise God that the car was good to go as well for this event. 😀
When hubby and I got home, we started preparing for the part 2 of our celeb the next day which fell on a Sunday. Of course, Sundays are meant for God so if there is an itinerary, ggoing to church should be the first priority or if not, it should be included. We planned to stay at a hotel around Ortigas area after our dinner cruise so I suggested we attend church nearby or along the way to Manila bay.
Searched the Victory church website and found one at Robinsons Galleria mall. It has always been a habit for me and Brian to find a church nearby if we have activities lined up on Sunday. It was our first time at Victory Ortigas and every Victory church has their own communion schedule if I am not mistaken. We missed having one in our home church at Victory Katipunan for the month of August. But to our surprise, on that Sunday, it was communion day for Victory Ortigas. Yaaaay! Oh, the goodness of the Lord just goes on and on. A blessed Sunday it was as the events lined up on that day was also the “meat” of the celebration.
Early birds at Victory Ortigas.
After church, hubby and I decided to go directly to Manila bay for our dinner cruise. Guess what too, the new yacht assigned to us caters only a small group of people meaning it will give the guests a more exclusive experience. The yacht looked great too. We were supposed to be served a full-course plated meal with iced tea but since the yacht was small, they changed the caterer and the sea was expected to be rough these months too so they served them in bento boxes. But I preferred it this way because I don’t like my food spilling over my plate when the yacht changed courses or worse, spilling them over my dress. That is my worst nightmare during a date. lol BUT the best part which was not included in the package was a complimentary refillable glass of wine being offered to guests. Yaaay again!
Welcome aboard!
Aboard M/Y Selina.
God is so full of surprises, ain’t He? So hubby and I were enjoying our dinner cruise moment and 1 hour was just not enough especially if you’re gonna take photos around the yacht, eat and drink. Or maybe we were having so much fun we totally lost track of the time. *wink*
The view of the bay from the yacht.
So final verdict? We’re definitely going to relive the experience but on a summer night AND when there is a pyromusical event at SM Mall of Asia. Now that gives you an idea how you could spend a romantic date with your special someone too. Let’s share the love, shall we? We say, cheers to that! 🙂
After dinner we went to SM Mall of Asia to catch pokemons. lol But nope, I am no pokemon go player. My husband tried it out of curiosity thus tried to catch some while we’re still in the area and ordered our favorite fraps at Starbucks located along the boulevard. Now it was late already when we got to Richmonde hotel where we will spend the night away.
Entering this classy hotel will make you lost in translation. I was totally loving the hotel’s elegant interiors probably because I like earth tones when it comes to color choices and gold never fails to magnify the sophistication of every item like black. It was actually the color motif of hubby and I for our dinner date – yellow/gold and black.
We went inside our room which was very cozy by the way and it matched the elegance of the hotel’s lobby. Since we were dead tired because of the previous events especially hubby who was diving and swimming his heart out in Daranak falls, we’ve thought about having a massage. We tried the 90-minute Swedish aromatherapy massage at Nuat Thai near the hotel and I found myself giggling, not because of the massage, but the snoring client beside my room. lol
Well, I couldn’t blame him. The massage was so good, so therapeutic and relaxing it’ll really make you doze off. I am not really a massage lover but I appreciated it so much in a way that it made me so calm and relaxed after the session. Hubby said that he, too, fell asleep. Hmmmm, was he the one who snored?! lol 😀
I didn’t know massages can make you go hungry. *wink* So afterwards, we went ahead and had a tapsilog meal at Rufo’s. When we got back to the hotel we were just so drowsy and we understood why, it’s already 1am! Okay, it’s really time for taps.
The next day/part 3 of the celeb we had our sumptuous and delicious buffet breakfast at the hotel’s cafe. We had no photos as we don’t want to break the sophisticated atmosphere with us taking selfies everywhere. We felt like it’s inappropriate especially when expats were eating beside your table. *wink* We then decided to take a swim at the hotel’s heated pool and we couldn’t capture a pretty decent shot lest some of the guests might be irritated if they’d find out their faces were included in the photo without their permission. I happen to have one taken but a lady just made it in time as a photobomber. lol No offense though, it oftentimes happens. *wink*
His signature squint, my signature pout. 😉
By the time we finished our morning dip at the pool we headed back to our room and prepared for the check out. We decided to have the car washed, loaded up and went on our way home sweet home. Then, it began to rain. 😀
Alas, we’re now finally at the comfort of our quaint little home. This home of ours was a little apartment that my siblings and I shared starting when we were all studying in college. When my eldest sister and brother got married, my second sister worked in Norway and my third sister went to our home province to be with our parents, I was left alone. So now my hubby and I are occupying this place.
I always tell my husband that it is such a privilege for us to live in this minimalist and simple home. We had nothing to worry about the stuff that we needed and my siblings and I used to take turns in doing a house makeover every now and then. So many memories are in here thus it is always a reminder for us to take good care of this humble abode. I used to hate cleaning but I love it now especially when I see the aftermath. We do have plans of getting our own house but we’ll have to wait and trust God and His right time with that. 🙂
The events during the weekend went on smoothly and we’re still right on track with our budget. The provisions of God do overflow when you share what you need to give and you have faith that only God is the sole provider of everything. Besides, it’s better to give than to receive anyway. *big smiles there* Everything was planned out perfectly because God planned it that way. I am just extremely thankful for everything. We just have a great God, haven’t we?
I couldn’t imagine how Brian and I managed to celebrate it with so much ease, no worries and no hassle knowing we were relying on his income alone for our expenses; secondly, his schedule at work was difficult to arrange and lastly, the weather didn’t go well a couple of weeks prior to the celeb. It was a combined celebration of simplicity and elegance, adventure and sophistication, nature and man-made – the perfect balance.
It actually doesn’t matter what are the particulars when it comes to celebrating special moments with a loved one. The good and bad memories that you and your spouse build every single day are enough to remind you of the love that you have for each other which is more important than any celebration in every marriage. Love rules, love wins, and love is all that matters. (I think I heard myself singing that. lol)
But the truth of the matter is that a marriage requires this – FAITH. When it comes to faith, I only have these two to think about:
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. – Hebrews 11:1
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. – Hebrews 12:22
Keep the faith ALWAYS too, my dear brothers and sisters! ❤
Will devote this post in adoration to and in honoring my spouse as we celebrate our 1st year wedding anniversary this August 17 – another great milestone. It was a time of great adjustment and testing and yet looking back, I am just grateful to God for everything – the good and the bad. It really does pay off having a great God in our lives. 🙂
When my husband courted me back then, I laid out clearly my sentiments first things first and these were my exact statements:
“I am the type of girl who is more practical than “pa-soshal” (high class/elite), who prefers a simple life than a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle and someone who isn’t enamored by sweep-me-off-the-feet moments but pursues what is not complicated, what is serious and what is sustainable. This applies in all aspects of my life.
But I have one great challenge for you – if you can’t love my God, please choose someone else to love.”
Strong words, eh? Yep, I was actually thinking now that I could have been so harsh at him that time. But I thought I still gave him that chance even if I am positive I did a “judgment thing” back there. I prayed to God to lead me in this area though. 😀
But there were also moments wherein “sweet as honey” is an understatement if I am to describe our quality time together. But do take note that our definitions of “sweet” can be relative but I’ll just describe my own definition anyhow. One of them was when I was eating this Cornetto ice cream and when he looked at me, he started laughing then approached me, gave me a tight hug and started showering me with kisses. He was amused obviously and told me he finds me like a cute kid. So I thought what was cute with a girl eating an ice cream which is quite a very normal thing. It was only after I was done eating and I went to the bathroom did I see in the mirror that there were ice cream streaks on my nose, my chin and sides of my mouth – like a child indeed. I didn’t know I eat ice cream as messy as that. lol *wink*
Another precious moment was when he dropped by a drugstore after a 2-hour travel from work to buy me medicines when I was having this migraine and how good it felt when he gave me a massage on the head to alleviate the pain. Such moments were priceless. They’re even better than the medication itself. Aside from that, he went ahead and bought us dinner and a juice drink because I wasn’t feeling well, I can’t prepare dinner and can’t leave the house. Unfortunately though, I got used to having him around most of the time, I feel so alone when he is not around. Yet I know this is God’s reminder re idolatry – no other thing or person before God. I should learn to rely on to God for my security, comfort and happiness and not solely on my husband.
There were also moments like when I was “Ms. Amnesia” and I keep on forgetting one or two ingredients from the grocery list and when I am about to cook, I would suddenly remember the ingredient. Ugh, definitely frustrating on my part and yet when I ask my hubby if he could buy me those ingredients at the wet market near our place, he would willingly do so even though he’s just got back from work. Aaah yes, this is just one of those moments that I so appreciate and love my husband – just like my Dad. ❤
I am grateful too for my husband for fulfilling the provider role 100% as he is the only one working. I am jobless by force. lol Graduate study and thesis work demanded I go full time with it. I do get to earn a little in other ways but it was hubby’s earnings that we solely rely on and yet God as the ultimate source of our provisions. Glad to say Brian and I aren’t just surviving but thriving. God is the great source of everything indeed.
One thing I admire about my husband though is when he would look after my needs before his. There’s this one time I asked him that we should buy new shorts because he’s been wearing the ones he has now for almost a decade already. He assured me there’s no need as they are all still wearable and yet when he saw that I needed to buy a laptop case, a new pair of jogging shoes, phone upgrade, etc. there he was insisting I buy them. He succeeded in convincing me because I experienced the inconvenience of not having them which inconvenienced him too. But no, like him, I don’t buy stuff if there really is no need.
There was one time too when we were watching this show and hubby and I were sort of playing the role of fashion police re a character’s shoes. Then he said out of the blue, “Hon when you start working, I am going to buy you stilettos.”
I’m like, “That’s nice of you Hon but I can’t wear stilettos in school, not especially if I am going to be a Special Education teacher.”
Then hubby insisted, “But Honey, stilettos look good on you. I don’t see any reason why you can’t wear them in school.”
Getting a bit impatient I added, “But stilettos are party shoes Hon and you only wear them on formal occasions.”
He insisted yet again, “The pointed shoes, Hon?”
Me: “Oh Honey, you mean pumps?” LOL
Brian: “Ohhhhh they’re called pumps. How would I know what’s it called, I am a guy.”
Well, I can’t blame him, can I? 😉
I consider simple, mundane moments as memorable especially when they make a huge impact in our lives like when I slowly taught him how to do things around the house and though he doesn’t like it at first, he finally got it when I told him it is in preparation for parenthood. I can’t be grateful enough and proud how he does things now on his own.
Or that time when I had this craving for a cheeseburger and asked him to buy one for me not taking into consideration there are different types of cheeseburgers. I was craving for the classic with the pickles but he bought the newest addition to cheeseburgers. It was okay but I wasn’t craving for it so I ended up telling him that I actually wanted the original. 😀
What happened next was something I did not expect. He offered to buy me the right cheeseburger. Yay! He actually just got back from work and a two-hour travel time and yet here he is offering to buy me a new one at the middle of our dinner. I asked him if it is okay with him and he said yes because I wouldn’t be enjoying my dinner anyhow. So out he went and bought the right one for me. I know he was tired from work and yet he still chose to go out and buy me a new one. To return the favor, I gave him a full body massage for about an hour which he did appreciate so much. 🙂
Those moments too when I saw a missing button in his office uniform and offered to mend it, he suggested that there is no need for he keeps it that way. Or when I saw him wearing a shirt that’s not been ironed and told him I’d iron it first but he insisted he likes it that way. Indeed, the world of two opposites – the OC and the not OC, that’s what we are. 😉
There were times when he’d also come home bringing three kinds of food for dinner and one was especially for me – he knows my favorite even without asking. Or that moment when I am “Miss OC” and he is “Mr. Laidback” and when he wakes up, he puts his deo on the desk and when I wake up, I put it back on top along with other beauty products. I find it so funny now that that kind of routine happened for about a month without me telling him what to do. I just thought he’d “duplicate” my actions if every time he wakes up and before using his deo, he would see it along with the other beauty products, without me saying a word – it worked. lol
I also had this fascinating discovery I found with my husband. Though I didn’t study dream psychology in our discipline, I made this experiment on him just for fun. My hubby grits his teeth during his R.E.M. and it disrupts my sleep big time being the light sleeper that I am. I do not want to disturb his sleep if I wake him up thus the experiment – every time he would start to grit, I just call out an expression of endearment to him and he would instantly stop. I know it has something to do with how the brain receives the sound and connects it with a memory that is pleasing, happy or calm. According to research, gritting happens due to stress. It became an amusing field of experiment for me as I watch him closely every time he is asleep and starts to grit and I would call out to him softly – he really does stop right away and it is effective all the time. Well, that is if I’m also awake. But if I’m in my deep sleep too, then I’ll be praying for our neighbors who’ll be the ones to hear it. *wink*
Seriously, I know love never demands and yet I honestly am guilty about this. I see it not as demands though but setting the boundaries in a marriage. Honestly too, in our critical times as a couple, I think I have asked the question to myself if he is really the one for me or I have made the wrong decision when I chose to marry him. But as months grew longer of us being a couple, I started to realize that God never makes mistakes nor did He plans for things to fail. It is the other way around – always for our own good.
PRESERVING THE LOVE: My 2-year old preserved rose from our very first Valentine’s Day date when hubby was my bf then.
I see myself loving my husband even more now. I appreciate having him around and my love for him just goes deeper with every conflict and struggle that we go through and overcome together. I know he is God’s best for me. I used to be blinded by the negativity of my situations around me and in front of us and yet I see it now that God wanted me to trust Him, honor what He has given me and train myself to look at the finish line and not the journey per se nor how rocky or smooth the road is.
If this is a test of character, then I have to go thru it and pass it according to God’s standards. But more importantly, God gave me an answer that yes, I can trust my husband if I trust God first that my husband will be leading me and our future family and that yes, I have made the right decision in choosing him as my husband.
I once asked my husband why a couple has to have opposite types of personalities and backgrounds and he said just like what everybody says that it is for a couple to complement one another. Yes, God knows better than all of us so why question everything around us? Maybe all we need to recognize is the fact that God is in control of everything and settle for that.
“God has different plans for each of us. We might feel that others have an easier assignment, or a more glamorous role to play. But if our loving Father has handpicked us for our task, who are we to whisper, “I can’t do this”?” – ODB
I know this is just the beginning and just a few of the memories that my husband and I are going to build and share together until death do us part. If you will notice, I have only shared the good memories from the past year which, as we all know, are not what only happens in married life for real. But I thought it best to share the good stuff to maintain the positivity and the good vibes. It is God that I intend to glorify anyway and not the enemy. 🙂
Indeed, it is not the accomplishments nor the possessions we have in life that will sustain us come old age, but our relationship with God and the people closest to us whom we love and love us back. We have so many things to be grateful for and those are the things that are simple, mundane, mediocre and oftentimes we take for granted. All we need to do is appreciate them as part of God’s blessings to us – like having a spouse for one. No other couple relationship is as fulfilling, as secure and as meaningful as the one bound by God and the Holy Matrimony.
To the married folks out there, keep the laughter and the love overflowing between you and your spouse at all times putting God at the center. ❤ 🙂
“For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised and uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” – Galatians 5:6
“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” – Hebrews 13:4
“Giving honor to marriage will require the utmost in Christian conviction and sensitivity. Modern social theory may redefine the family, and the new definitions may be far from its biblical foundation. What can you do? Witness to the depth of God’s love for you by keeping your marriage happy and strong. Remain faithful-in body and in mind. Pray for your spouse. Honor biblical marriage (consenting man-woman unions) by resisting political pressure to recognize and legalize other sexual preferences. Teach children the biblical meaning of marriage. Pray early for their own eventual spouses and families. Make marriage enrichment the goal of your small group discussions and study. Encourage the marriages around you to stay strong as well.” – You Version Devotion
P.S./P.R.
Okay, the P.R. there stands for the Praise Report. 😀
We are finally connected with a couples’ victory group in church that fits to our schedule. This is one of my faith goals ever since we got married and been praying about it since then. But I am continuously praying this will be the spiritual family that Brian and I will be growing together as we tread on the season of married life. There are also other things, amazing and surprising things, that I’d like to thank God for but I thought I’ll just keep that between me and God in my quiet time with Him – this post is already too long. 😉
“A God-centered marriage matters more to God than a grand wedding.”
This was a reminder to me even before Brian and I chose to have our civil wedding first. We were both aware that when we signed our marriage contracts, a marriage is not just a piece of paper that you sign on – it is a Holy Matrimony, a sacred covenant. It just makes me sad when I see marriages that failed. I know I have no right to meddle in what a couple went through in their marriages and assume what decision is best for them except to pray about it and yet it was one of my goals to somehow enlighten them in keeping one of God’s greatest blessings which is the marriage – the foundation of every family where children are born and raised as future citizens, successors and disciples in our society.
This is probably the reason why I took the risk of sharing sensitive situations regarding conflicts that my husband and I go through hoping that many will be able to appreciate that they are not alone in what they are going through as a couple. That they, too, might realize marriages are sometimes painful and yet sometimes it is joyful too. I was hoping that realizations such as putting God at the center of the marriage along with prayers make all the difference for as long as not one of the couple gives up. Or if even one gives up, then the other should do the effort to save it regardless who is at fault or if he/she will be making most of the sacrifices.
The goal should always be to keep the covenant intact and always look at the finish line of every marriage which is “until death do us part.” Never give up and give one another a room for mistakes and a chance to grow. It is also best to always remember to keep the faith no matter what and that there is no perfect couple, no perfect marriage but one perfect God who makes all things possible.
Honestly, there was one time a couple of months back wherein my husband and I had this very huge fight that ended in us giving in to weaknesses and anger ruled the most part of that fight resulting to me asking him to pack his things up and leave me. I went upstairs and left him packing his stuff.
God intervened – my husband can’t find his passport. He came up to me twice asking about it and I saw in his eyes how hurt he was and pleading silently that I let him stay. But pride took over me and pride took over him as well – no apologies took place from either of us. That missing passport moment was the Spirit’s way of stalling him from storming out of the house and the opportunity for me to apologize and let things go back to normal.
Yes, we regret that we allowed sin to rule our hearts that night. I took my headphones and listened to the radio. Yet another divine intervention took place as I ended up listening to a Christian radio station. Now this gave me peace and an urge to apologize right away and stop him from leaving but I shrugged it off and decided to sleep my exhaustion off.
A good and a bad thing – good, the Spirit was there all along; bad, my husband took off in the middle of the night taking a bus going to their house in the province. I woke up 3hours after with this scenario and I was aghast when I found out he really did take me seriously when I asked him to leave the house. I was confident he wouldn’t do it.
So my wifey instinct came all rushing in and I began to worry BIG time. What if something happened on his way home, he got mugged or stabbed or got beaten up by drunkards. YES, I panicked and I can never forgive myself when that happened. So I called him even if it is 3 am already. I know I had to because that is the right thing to do.
He answered my call. WHEW! Big sigh of relief there. The first thing I asked was if he was home and what followed was my apology. Told me he was about to sleep as he and his mom were talking. He told me we will talk things out in the morning.
When he got back home the next day, he told me that when he was already at the bus with all his stuff, something in him says that what he is doing is wrong and he should turn back. But part of him says that he’s already in the bus anyway so he might as well push through in going to his Mom’s place.
I told my husband that the one part that tells you what you are doing is bad and urges you to do it the right way, that is the Spirit living inside you whilst the one that says continue sinning, that is the work of the enemy.
We were already advised in the Marriage Preparation seminar in church to never leave when tough times hit home. His mom advised him the same thing saying both of us will be more vulnerable to temptations and attacks of the enemy if we choose to separate than talk the problem out. We learned our lesson quite the hard way there but as what his mom told us, it is a good thing forgiveness of each other’s faults and reconciliation took place within just a matter of hours. She continued that we might never know what greater damage we could have brought upon our marriage if we held on to anger, pride and more sins.
We vowed to never again let the same incident happen. Anger is really one of the enemy’s ways to steal, kill and destroy. Don’t give him the advantage. EVER. We are well aware though that this is only the beginning of even greater battles with the enemy.
Back to weddings and marriages, if time comes I’ll end up like my Mom who chose to be married through a civil wedding only, then I’ll accept it as God’s will but I will choose to honor God instead on how I deal with my spouse and how I handle issues in our marriage obeying God’s commands and laws. Just a little trivia on me: I hate being on the spotlight (the introverted me). I ended up asking my eldest sister to assign me with the very least spotted role during her wedding 14 years ago and it took months before my brother was able to convince me to be one of the bridesmaids on his wedding day last year. 😀 So having a civil wedding was already perfectly fine with me. But I just felt I still need to have a church wedding, in God’s perfect time.
My husband and I have already made plans that if circumstances and God’s plans will not allow the church wedding to take place sooner, we will have it in our 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary. Well, that’s for me. Unfortunately my husband thinks we’ll be too old by then and told me he’d love to have it on our Silver Wedding Anniversary instead. I asked him if he is worried about the idea that one of us will have amnesia we wouldn’t remember who we got wed to or what the celebration is for, he just laughed. Okay, I guess I nailed the truth as for his reason why. 😀
Even before I got into a relationship I have already set my mind to have a small, intimate wedding. Intimate in a way that I intend my dream church wedding be held on top of a high mountain with clouds surrounding everywhere and only the officiating Pastor, me and my groom will be present. The spectacular view to me is just so surreal and it portrays how magnificent our God is and His creations. I was able to experience it first during my community outreach/field work in one of my classes in my graduate study and I was overwhelmed by the experience which made me decide that this is the perfect wedding scenario for me. You can read more of it here: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/benguet-the-trip-up-north/
If you have read the article, I mentioned that awesome moment as “Heaven here on Earth…”
Yes, that is exactly the reason why I wanted my church wedding to be where I am closest to God. The clouds reminded me of God, I just feel His strong presence when I see the clouds. One of the biggest oaths I have made for the rest of my life was during my wedding day which is an oath of commitment with my spouse in front of God. A wedding is all about God and the Holy Matrimony. I thought it better if the general feel of my dream church wedding would be something really solemn – a moment wherein me and my husband will be able to connect with God deeply, sincerely and with less distractions as possible.
We do plan to invite our parents as a way of honoring them as well as the rest of our friends and families. I know that they will be part of our lives forever and will be witnesses how our relationship as a married couple has grown throughout the years thus they will be an essential part of our church wedding. I know that they, too, will honor the special moment that my husband and I will be making.
Basically this is a deviation – a form of going against the norms when it comes to weddings. In the same way that having a civil wedding doesn’t make your marriage less holy as compared to a church wedding – it still is the union of a husband and a wife, God’s commands. Do allow me to delve deeper as to my own personal reasons why the kind of wedding that you have, civil or church, simple or grand doesn’t matter but on how you handle your marriage. But of course, in the end, we all have our own ways how to have our own weddings.
It doesn’t matter for me what gown I will be wearing, what we will be serving our guests, where we will be married and who will be our guests because a wedding for me takes place every single day. In every single day that you wake up, you affirm the vow that you made with your spouse. More so when both you and your spouse are being tested by the enemy to break and destroy God’s beautiful promises for you both. I cannot let that happen. There may be a little pride somewhere deep down of me still, but I can’t let the enemy win. I guess I’ll be rooting all my pride there – never let the enemy win.
God will appreciate a marriage centered on Him than a church wedding but without Him in the couple’s lives. For without God in the marriage, the marriage will surely fail and it’ll crumble. This leads to divorce which, as we all know, is strictly not allowed in the bible.
The bible has this to say about it:
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” – Mark 10:6-12
My only challenge to every couple like what my brother would always tell me every time I am on the verge of giving up on my husband and my marriage is that always look at the end goal and always keep in mind the vows that you have made before each other in the presence of the Lord as our way of honoring Him and the gift that He gave us which is our free will – our choice to marry this person and the choice to be with him/her forever.
For church weddings, these are examples of the vows exchanged between the groom and the bride:
Groom:
“Bride, knowing that it is God’s will for me to marry you, I make a commitment to you today, in the presence of our Lord, and before all these witnesses, to love you with an unconditional love. I will be faithful to you always, never leaving you nor forsaking you. I will lead, guide, protect, and provide. I will live with you in an understanding way, being thoughtful of your needs. I will honor you as a fellow heir of God’s grace. I commit myself to fulfill God’s plan for my life – to provide loving leadership and spiritual covering for you and our children. I commit to co-labor with you in the building of the Church and the advancement of God’s Kingdom, until the day Jesus returns in all His glory.”
Bride:
“Groom, knowing that it is God’s will for me to marry you, I make a commitment to you today, before God Almighty and before all these people to become your wife and helpmate. I commit to love you and submit to you as my spiritual covering. I will not hinder you but will inspire and encourage you as the head of our household. I commit to co-labor with you in the building of the Church and the advancement of God’s Kingdom until Jesus returns in all His glory.”
These vows were not made by men but instructed by God. Basically if we choose to not obey these, then we are disobeying God and we are breaking the covenant with Him. Yet for circumstances wherein divorce is really necessary, the bible also has this to say:
“But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Trials and challenges are part of love. Love is part of every couple. Every couple comprises a marriage. A marriage is the foundation of a family. A family is where children are born. Children are the next citizens that will comprise the society and more than that, they will be the future disciples of God. We are honoring God if we are bringing up our children in a Godly home.
The trials that we encounter in our marriages are God’s way of preparing us so we can be strong spiritual mentors, rooted in our faith and will become good examples to our children who will certainly follow our steps when they grow older, one way or the other.
We will never appreciate the beauty of salvation through the Cross if there is no circumstance that brought us to our knees.
We can never teach our kids this if we, ourselves, didn’t go through it.
I am supposed to research if there has been standards on what a church wedding should be like in the bible or what we are doing now is purely traditional and cultural but not biblical. As far as I know the bible cites many instances about marriages but not on weddings per se i.e. there should be a long line of entourage, a whole week of wedding celebration, etc.
Do enlighten me though on this so I could write it on another blog post. This one’s already too long. *wink* But just a couple more ideas before I wrap this up so please bear with me my dear readers. *smiles*
I have two memorabilia that I believe are the only things that are important in every marriage – the engagement ring which symbolizes my husband’s promise to commit to an even bigger promise and the wedding ring which symbolizes the fulfillment of that bigger promise. That BIG promise is to be together until death do us part.
This is the challenge I have for myself as a wife every single day: fight for your spouse, fight for God in your marriage and save your marriage from anything and anyone who wants to ruin it by means of prayers. More importantly, seek for God’s protection, healing and guidance ALL the time.
Will share these two bible verses that might help when trouble comes in your marriage (or future marriage). The first is my brother’s key verse in his wedding followed by my key verse in our wedding:
“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19
“There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear…” – 1 John 4:18
Do not fear anyone, do not fear the problem nor the enemy BUT have faith that we have a God who makes the impossible possible.
I also would like to honor my parents in this article as they celebrated last June 1st their 43rd Wedding Anniversary. Hooray! Praise be to God for this. 🙂
I am just grateful to God for giving me parents who are exemplars on how it is to keep a marriage intact through God’s love and His guidance. I look up to the marriage of my Dad and Mom, along with the marriages of my eldest sister and my brother, as examples of couples who continuously persevere in living out 1 Corinthians 13 and remain constant in putting God at the center of their marriages through the good and the bad.
My prayers are with you that regardless if you got married through a civil or a church wedding, in any battle that you and your spouse will go through, both of you will overcome it by God’s grace. Invite Him in your marriages and include Him in every day of your lives together.
If they can do it, then we also can for we all have God with us. 🙂 ❤
“It takes a risk to get involved, but how many marriages could have been salvaged, how many relationships healed, how many bad decisions averted, if someone had loved enough to warn?” – Pastor Rick Warren
Most definitely you are wondering how can a person be a place at the same time. Or maybe thought that I made a grammatical error there putting the word “Rome” instead of “Roman.” Or mistakenly put the article “a” instead of “in.”
Well, I guess this is part of the perks of being married to a man whose surname is spelled similarly to that of the capital of Italy. The only difference is that the surname is usually pronounced as /roh-me/ or ro:me.
This article though is not about my new surname per se but more of being a Mrs. Rome – the real deal. And of course, to commemorate our first monthsary as a married couple. Just a glimpse on how we fared as a newlywed couple since a lot are asking how it is so far with us. 🙂
Two different personalities living in one roof. Yes, basically any married couple will agree to this. We completely have opposite personalities and backgrounds. And funny it is that all the married couple I know who have been married for quite some time now also possess the same opposite personalities. My Mom and Dad’s relationship is the closest example I have.
At night my husband easily gets cold, I prefer it colder. So we don’t share a blankie. Though when it gets really cold and I am sure I am about to freeze to death, there goes my “human fireplace.” 😉
I am a night owl and wakes up late, he is an early riser and sleeps early. Now, this is really amusing. Because you can imagine me in bed at 9pm, which is the start of my “creative hour,” so there I am lying beside him tinkering with none other than the most handy gadget of everyone, the cellphone – writing a blog post, editing a photo on IG, reading articles and new recipes to try, listing down my things-to-do, and a whole lot of other things. Yes, that is how a phone is essential to me lately. He doesn’t like it sleeping alone so that’s where I come in to keep him company.
But here’s the bad part. I don’t like it waking up early because well, I slept late. 😀 But he wakes up early because he sleeps early. He is all “clownish” and kiddie-like in the early hours of the morning, hyperactive, energetic and all and there’s me grumpy and grunting every time he would disturb my sleep. But I had to cook him breakfast and well, I love him being the happy him, so I just make up all the lost sleep I had when he leaves for work.
One very obvious opposite though that we had a hard time dealing with, as it really is far too obvious to dismiss, is my being obsessive compulsive and him being laid back. I am always on the go doing anything that I can while he loves to take such great time in doing everything. I loved everything spic and span while he loves to just put things wherever he wishes to. And the long list goes on and on. 😀 I’ll be sharing more about how we dealt with this in the latter part of this article.
Another is managing our quirkiness like he removes the skin of a fried eggplant whereas I ate everything; I drink half a cup of any vinegar sauce/dip while he watches me with mouth agape. And we let it stayed that way. I mean, it doesn’t harm any of us when we do it. But I really wonder what is the difference of removing the skin of a fried eggplant when he eats the skin of an eggplant in a soup? Probably the same way he is wondering what joy/health benefits can I derive from drinking vinegar sauce. The best thing to do really is to let those quirky stuff about one another stay as they are. They are what makes us unique. 😉
We have opposite interests too that seem to complement like he plays the drums, I play the guitar. He wants to learn how to play the guitar, I want to learn how to play the drums, we want each other to teach one another – we don’t have the time. So yup, we kind of complement each other there having no time at all. 😀
We do have our common interests too like we were so engrossed watching the previous episodes of The Walking Dead at night that we suddenly realized it’s been more than a week since we had our cuddling and romance time. Yes, forsaking romance over a TV show. We just laughed at the idea for we both know cuddling and romance time will always be there. Well, as it is written in the bible, everything has its own perfect time. 🙂
Those were some of our personality differences and commonalities. Here comes the adjustment period or what we commonly know as “compromises” or meeting halfway. And just a heads up, it really is not as easy and as simple as it sounds. This is where the true test of character and faith in God enters in.
We grew up in different family backgrounds, system of values and upbringing which includes personal relationships with our parents and our siblings. Mine was sort of the traditional, reserved and independent kind while they are more of the intimate, really close and dependent with one another kind. This became a big struggle for us both especially on his part as the time has come he has to let go of those attachments and I know it will never be easy. I already made this letting go of attachments when I came here in Manila to study in college and left my parents in Bicol after the first 16 years of my life growing up with them. It was also a tough decision to make but I had to do it, my parents had to do it. It was painful, it wasn’t easy. There will be tears, there will be heartaches and my husband had to deal with it just now.
It took me a while to understand that, like how my siblings were patient with me when I dealt with my homesickness. I, too, should offer the same kind of sympathy, understanding and patience to him. Sometimes conflicts would arise because of this – but God’s grace always intervene enabling us both to consider what really matters at the moment. He helped both me and my husband understand what needs to be understood, what needs to be accepted and what needs to go. Slowly, the changes happened bit by bit and will continue to happen. It is all a question of who should we honor in this relationship – you, me, them or God?
Adjusting to one’s personality is difficult. That is why I would always explain to my husband that it is true what was shared in the Marriage Preparation seminar in church that it is best for newlywed couples to have their own “kingdom” because if it is already difficult for two different personalities to live in one roof, imagine if you are staying with your families, that will be multiple personalities in one roof – it will call for a major clash and chaos.
Sometimes there will come a time wherein adjustments, changes, and compromises do not come as you wish them to be. You have to prepare yourself for deviations, unfulfilled tasks or obligations and unmet expectations – a lot of those will happen which will fuel heated arguments, sleepless nights, crying spells and sadness. BUT take note that they should only happen for a certain duration of time. My brother and Mom told me that both you and your spouse have the choice to make the marriage work at ALL costs and it is only through your joint efforts that you can change the course of your marriage from something bad to something good. Well, it always has been a rocky start for any newlyweds. That is why my husband and I resorted to one best weapon to protect our marriage – PRAYERS.
We have both decided to make it part of our daily tasks to pray during the night before sleeping and in the morning when we wake up. I get to pray at night since he is already tired from work, and he gets to pray in the morning because I am still sleepyhead at that time. 😉
Indeed, I can say that prayers are really so powerful that it never ever, ever failed to lift us up each and every single day. We would notice that when we skip even just one night or morning without a prayer, things don’t go as well as they should be. The attacks of the enemy are greater. So we made a promise that even if it is so tempting to just lie down and not pray or just skip praying and hurry going to work, CHOOSE TO PRAY.
And there really is something about praying that moves the Spirit within us. It always leaves you amazed. For example when we pray, we don’t usually talk what we would pray about, we just leave all of the praying to the person in charge. This way, we let the Spirit lead the prayer. And sometimes when it is my husband praying, I just want to cry at the middle of it. Because he would pray EXACTLY about the things that my heart wanted to pray for. They were not things about the marriage per se so I wonder how could he possibly know that that was what I wanted to pray too. So yes, after the prayer, there I was with a huge smile ready to greet him when he looks up. And when you say “Thank You,” you know that you are not only thanking the person in front of you who prayed for you both, but you are also saying your gratitude to the Spirit within him who made him utter that prayer.
And I have also proven the fact why men were appointed by God to be spiritual leaders. My husband prays very concise prayers while I, being the multitasker woman, with neurons simultaneously working with one another, I forget what I am praying in the middle of my prayer. UGH.
Ugh indeed. 😀 It is a good thing my husband has been listening attentively to what I am praying, so when I asked him what was I praying about with all the giggling and the laughing, he would tell me where I stopped – with all the serious look on his face. 😀
This makes me stop giggling, say my apologies and resume praying. I admit that it is very embarrassing. But how can I help it – me being the amnesia girl always and a lot of things going on in my mind always. Indeed, it is a matter of male and female brains – the male brain was created to focus and be good at one task while the female brain was made to be good with a lot of tasks but not so good in each of them. Men know how to decompartmentalize, while with us, women, well it is all chaos. 😉
Here’s an example. I asked him to chop the ingredients we need for a meal I am cooking. And when I saw it, he got to finish it half the time I usually spend to finish it and he does it with the perfect cuts. I, on the other hand, I get to cook in one stove, prepare the table, wash the rice but with some mistakes here and there.
This is where he becomes my superhero/knight-in-shining-armor Adonis. He does some of the tasks that I can no longer accommodate with the heaps that I am currently doing or about to do. Like after cooking, he does the washing of the dishes. Or if I wash the laundry, he irons the clothes. Like there is one time that though I have listed all the ingredients I needed for a meal, I still missed one important ingredient. So there he went out the door buying that one ingredient. Good thing there is a nearby market from where we live. 😀
This wasn’t all too easy for him, the chores I mean. Since they grew up wherein everything was done for them even until now – from cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. But that was how they were raised so I needed to respect that and yet as my partner, I would need him to help me out with the chores too. I grew up the opposite wherein I learned things quite early in my teens and doing them now is just a piece of cake for me. So the adjustment there was me, handling a bit of an extra work load, as there will now be two persons living in the house instead of only me while he gets to slowly learn how to do things here at home. It required both of us to really exert all the patience, understanding and endurance that we could muster.
And yet God reminded us to do everything with love not as if you are doing it for men but for God. 🙂
I am just grateful though that even if the schedule now for me is pretty hectic balancing everything here at home from budgeting to chores, to reading articles, doing research for my thesis, plan meals, etc. my cooking did not suffer – this is what I dread the most. 😀 I admit I am no very good cook although I do know how to cook. But after getting married, I now was given this responsibility to serve good and delicious meals to my husband and my future family. And if I’d be too tired already, I know I wouldn’t be able to serve the best meals. But because everything should be done with love, the output contains love. 😉
It is enough compliment to see your husband munching and gobbling his food away, texting you after breakfast saying his gratitude for a hearty, delicious breakfast and for taking good care of him and this last one, which I really laughed out loud when he told me this:
“Honey, please don’t cook food that good so we won’t get fat as I don’t go to the gym anymore.”
Now that really cracked me up. I was having hysterics when he told me that and even more when he said that he really was serious. I mean, how do I cook bad food?! 😀 I did not learn how to cook just so it would taste bad. LOL But oh well, that is my sweet husband back there – yup, my sweet, completely opposite partner in life. 🙂
So the question I asked was, do we have to be really completely the same to get along?
This is where God comes in. If God wanted us to be the same, He would have created us with the same personalities. But we all know that that was not part of God’s universal design. No single creature in this world is the same, not even identical twins. I guess we can settle in the fact that God intended it to be that way because He created each and every one of us unique and beautiful in its own way.
A marriage demands patience, understanding, endurance and most of all forgiveness. A marriage is not about yourself anymore, but more about the other person you married. It is all about giving and never about getting. The most important thing is respect to one another and the differences you have and the willingness to adjust to a routine, agreement or compromise that is comfortable to both of you. I just want to share what we have learned in the Marriage Preparation seminar for it really comes handy when the need arises.
“3. Being united to your spouse requires Christ-like attitudes:
When a habit irritates, choose MERCY.
When a hindrance frustrates, choose GRACE.
When a hurt grieves, choose FORGIVENESS.”
There will be heated arguments, disagreements, failures and mistakes because a marriage is about two imperfect and broken people being joined by God’s Grace. God’s Grace and protection thru prayers will lead the marriage. For God is love and love is God. Without God in the marriage, it is impossible to give our spouses the love that they deserve.
God intends to teach a married couple only two things: for the husband, leadership and for the wife, submission. 🙂
As a wife, I have a lot of questions, fears, doubts and worries. And yet God would always assure me to never worry about tomorrow but just listen intently to what God instructs you to do for today, for the moment.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34
P.S.
You will never learn the nitty gritty details on how it is to build and protect your own family without the wisdom shared by the families you came from. I love my family and my husband’s family and I wish to honor them as one of God’s appointed blessings in ushering us in our married life. 🙂
I’d like to start this article by saying that my civil wedding posed a lot of interesting questions based on two grounds:
I am a devoted believer.
The assumption that I am yoked to an unbeliever.
The following two questions are the frequently asked and I believe it is just right that these questions popped up for a lot have been under the cloud as to what really is what, causing some to stumble in their faith which, as believers, we are not supposed to do to others. I admit I, myself, am being corrected each and every single day. And I mean, each and every single day. So these questions and the answers to them are a breather to me as well. 🙂
First question:
“If you get married through a civil wedding, does that make your marriage unholy or a sin?”
Second question:
“How would you know if your future spouse is a believer or not?”
For the first question, we were already informed during our Engagement/Wedding Preparation seminar in church by our pastors that there is nothing wrong being married through a civil wedding. Tradition, which is cultural, and social norms (which can be a misconception) imply that a couple be wed in church with all the grandiosity of the entourage and the reception. I intend to share this in another article for I did find a lot of blogs of unhappy brides during their grand, dream weddings.
I cannot claim expertise on this matter and our pastors only shared a few insights as to why it is okay to get married through a civil wedding but I did find this article on one of my favorite websites when it comes to dealing with familial and relational issues Christian-wise.
I highly recommend you to read this article and read more related articles in their site as they were all insightful:
For the second question, I honestly admit I struggled with this in the early stages of my relationship with my husband back when we were still dating. And I believed I made two common mistakes that believers do unknowingly: judge and condemn. Reading this article came as a rebuke. And if you are to read my previous articles too, you will know that the Spirit also made the rebuke through the Scripture and selected bible verses that are truly answers to questions and doubts I have been brooding over for a time. I hope to share this article with you as again, I cannot claim any expertise on this matter as I am no minister or theologian, I am just a writer who writes from her soul. 😉
This is a very long read but please do take time to carefully read through the important points:
And since I have posted articles here written by people I do not personally know, I’d like to post a disclaimer that it is best to read through all of them with the guidance of the Spirit. And by the end of the day, it is still the Scripture that we should rely more for Godly wisdom. But these articles were written by people who also composed the body of Christ and I believe they were also called to do the mission/task that God has appointed to them. As my brother would always say,
“It is always a matter of faith. It has been and always will be.”
And for my personal advice as a sister in Christ, I recommend consistent praying and undying faith will lead you to where God would want you to be. I had a lot of fears, I used to, had a little bit now but this is what God particularly assured me for my relationship with my husband now (shared this revelation in my previous articles):
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18
08/17/2015 – Sealing The Commitment
Hold on to God, hold on to His Word, seek His counsel and as one brother in Christ of mine advised, “overload yourself with prayers.” What matters is the commitment – honor the commitment, honor the decision you made out of love for your partner, honor your God-given free will when you used it to make that decision, then you honor God.
Of course, I am looking forward and very much excited to have our church wedding wherein all our beloved families and friends are complete to witness our re-affirmation of wedding vows to God officiated by a minister this time. 🙂
P.S.
What was so funny during our civil wedding ceremony was that we were told by the clerk that our signatures were almost similar. When we looked at the marriage certificate, we can’t help but agree.
AND I really wonder why I decided, decades ago, to use this signature of mine which is so, so far from my initials. It doesn’t look like a letter “C” or letter “L” or even a “G.” My husband’s signature looked closer to his initials though. Oh well, the wonders and the mysteries never end, do they? 😉
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
(Disclaimer: This is a very long post but definitely worth the read.) 🙂
I believe many are already familiar what promise rings are. But in case some of you still are unfamiliar with it, this is a definition I got from Wikipedia:
“A Promise ring symbolizes a commitment to a promise and is given to a person as a token or reminder of his/her decision…”
But I guess what we could highlight in this definition is this: commitment to a promise.
But before I get on to that, do allow me to share just a quick update regarding my current status. If you have been one of my avid readers, you would know by now that my fiance and I decided to take a two-week “cool off” period wherein we were back to being single and strangers? Definitely not. For God was faithful enough to have kept our communication going and again, not let our hearts be hardened by the negative circumstances that we went through.
We haven’t had the time to personally talk things out and just prayed to God to guide us through the week so we could re-align our plans and our thoughts with His. I shared in my previous articles that during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, I asked God for assurances if the decisions and the commitments I have made were indeed according to His will.
It was hard to let go of a person you love so much, but when God asks you to, you have no choice but to obey just like what Abraham did when he was ready to sacrifice his son’s (Isaac) life. You don’t know in that moment of decision-making why God asked you to. But if you are to ask me if indeed it was what God wanted, I can answer with “yes” for the decision came during our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.
And yet during those 3 days of Prayer and Fasting, I also asked God if I should let him go completely or was it something temporary, a “breather” so that the two of us could see His beautiful promise and not drown ourselves in the multitude of conflicts we are having – sort of a reminder where our relationship should be going and how we should be loving each other, God’s way.
Came the sign which I shared in my More Revelations (Part 2) article about my fiance’s name. All I had at that time were prayers and my faith and all that ever mattered to me was conversing with my God and nothing else. Yet, I have put my trust and hopes in God and God alone.
Two weeks passed.
In those two weeks, I was more in tune to the Spirit’s leading. Revelations upon revelations, tangible assurances, more Godly wisdom, more of God’s wonders working anywhere and anytime, everything was all about God. I was able to experience freedom by the end of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, answers were given, Godly wisdom on generational curses, learning about what was plaguing me for the past years without me realizing it, until eventually this word popped out – fear.
Fast forward to last weekend, my fiance asked me for a chance to talk things out personally. I always declined saying we should wait upon God for His right time. I thought about seeking counsel from my first spiritual mentor, my brother, and this was his advice:
Brotherly advice from a brother in Christ and my brother for real. 😉
I listened to my brother and continued praying until came the time when my fiance asked me again if he could see me last Saturday, to which I said “yes.” We were able to talk some matters over the phone the past days but I know there are still more that were left unsaid, more that need to be said and more that are better said in person.
An out-pour of prayers came, we met and then came the moment of that big question: “Are you really ready in your heart for this commitment, this big commitment which is marriage?”
Both our answers were a “yes.” The agreement was then mutual. Apologies were said and accepted, love overruled. So there we were continuing on from where we ended. When I made this re-commitment, I felt that I was making a pledge that indeed, no matter what happens, like what my brother said, there’s no more backing out. Fight for faith, continue hoping and most especially fight for love.
I have always believed that God planned everything, and I mean everything from the smallest details and the mundane to the biggest and the marvelous. This includes dates and numbers.
For the date, I thought there must be something to the date when I felt I was ready to talk with my fiance or should I say, it was already God’s perfect time. I am aware that the enemy is also working full time to destroy what God’s plans are. And of course, we all know that the holy matrimony is one of God’s best creations. For in a holy marriage and through marriages future disciples and spiritual leaders are born. But I know for sure as well that God won’t allow a marriage to fall apart if He allowed the union to be part of His even greater plans.
So why Saturday, July 12, 2015?
Okay, I remembered. I was just this total amnesia girl that I forgot it was the day before our 18th monthsary as a couple. 😀
“Praise be to God” was all I could blurt out. What a beautiful way to reconcile. Indeed, there is always something to celebrate after God gave us some time away from our troubles so we could appreciate the beauty that God has created in our relationship. The first week that we had our “break time,” his engagement proposal happened. Yesterday was our 18th monthsary, July 12 – what an awesome, wonderful way to celebrate it. I need not ask for any gift or special way to celebrate it, except I could only offer in return a heart full of gratitude to my Father up above who wished for nothing else but a better life for His sons and daughters.
So the day ended with a smile. I slept with a peaceful heart.
Early Sunday morning, July 12, our monthsary day, I suddenly woke up. I felt the need to urinate. So down I went, drank a glass of water and headed upstairs. When I got back to bed, I was so wide awake as if I haven’t slept at all. I checked the clock, it’s 3:03am. Wow, that is the same time for the past months that I wake up every now and then and could not sleep for no apparent reason at all. The very recent prior to this was the night before I broke up with my fiance and thought I heard someone calling my name. It was during that moment that I contemplated and decided to let him go.
But this time it was different. Here I was in bed staring at the ceiling with a smile on my lips reminiscing the events that happened the day before. Yes, I thought maybe because I just cannot contain my happiness that my fiance and I were back together. Then a phrase just popped up in my head all of a sudden – “real love drives out fear.”
Okay, now where did that come from? It was not even connected to my current thought – recalling yesterday’s events. And the phrase sounded right but not really right to me. But I was sure I have heard or read it somewhere, somehow. So what I did, I grabbed my phone, turned my WiFi on and searched ever reliable Google with the phrase/sentence. And the search results centered on only one thought – a bible verse which says:
1 John 4:18 ESV
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
Okay, so that explained why it popped up – I definitely have read this before but my synapses could not just particularly locate that memory bank where I stored it. But thank God for technology, I can easily locate those lost memories by giving me something to remember them through more additional information and clues.
And I smiled even more when upon seeing the search results, the top 3 sources that came up were from the ministries that I highly look up to as a Christian: Joyce Meyer, Rick Warren and Desiring God. I don’t believe in coincidences and I believe God has a reason for waking me up at this hour. So I started reading all 3 articles by said authors and I found 3 words common in all 3 articles: perfect love, God’s love and fear.
Allow me to share some of the screenshots I took for documentation purposes and do take note of the time. For I will be sharing more revelations in the succeeding paragraphs.
Joyce Meyer
Rick Warren
Desiring God
But going back to the bible verse, I was having my dose of Godly wisdom when a question popped in my head again: “why does it have to be “real love”? Usually, for the bible verses, most of the time I get the phrases correct especially if they are the usual bible verses that I have been encountering during devotion time. 1 John 4:18 was not an exemption for I have read it quite a couple of times already. And yet what was with the phrase “real love?” Where did it come from? I am sure I have encountered it somewhere too, something that has quite that significance to me for me to be able to somehow store it in my long term memory but could not point out exactly where.
Then came the “Eureka!” moment and I almost laughed aloud. For this was where I have seen it and now I know why it was retained because it is that significant. The following is a photo of the “dummy” rings that my fiance and I bought a couple months back as during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church, we were advised to use “dummy” rings in the actual wedding ceremony as the real thing might be misplaced and eventually lose them because of all the preparations and the hectic activities lined up for the said event. It was the first thing that we bought and we really don’t know why back then. 😀
I was actually the one who suggested we buy the rings when I browsed online for wedding rings. And I know it was not a coincidence that I felt the urge though I do not know why. But I acted upon it and I believe it was not also a coincidence when came the time that my fiance and I were choosing what ring design would best fit us and this particular design came into our hands. My first choice was a glittery ring but when my fiance tried it, his feminine, slim hands, looked REALLY feminine. So, it was a no-no for us.
The second choice was a plain silver band but then again there’s no available size for my fiance. Then this was the point that the shop owner suggested another pair. I didn’t like it at first. Because I wanted the rings to just have a clean and simple finish since it’s just going to be a “dummy” ring. I mean, it wouldn’t really matter for what matters would be our actual wedding rings. But then again, this pair was the only pair wherein the wedding ring for the groom fitted my fiance’s ring finger just right. And one more thing, I don’t like rings with inscriptions at the outer side of the ring. Well, let’s say I am still a bit old fashioned when it comes to these things. 😀
But in the end, I conceded that we buy this design with an inscription engraved at the outer side of the ring and an engraving of one half of a heart for each ring between the inscription. If you combine the rings, it’ll form into the shape of a heart.
“Real Love”
The rings weren’t significant to me for they are just “dummies.” BUT I was wrong – totally wrong. For now, I felt like they are the most important rings we will ever wear. Why?
Going back to the “real love” phrase, I was just amazed when I remembered that this was the inscription engraved on the “dummy” rings. And what was even more amazing was that the revelation with the verse and my interchanging “perfect love” with “real love” was God’s way of reminding me of His promise to me and Brian – marriage. He wanted me to realize that this is real/perfect love – it drives out fear.
Fear.
Now it dawned on me. This was not about fears in my past, fears in my childhood days but fears that I was unaware I have been bringing in the relationship with my fiance. It was out of fear that we had the conflicts. It was out of fear of the punishments from the past mistakes. It was out of fear of so many things that eventually came to me fearing the worst that could happen in our relationship. It was fear that ruled the relationship.
And this was a portion of the article that made me see the clarity of it all:
God pulled us out of the relationship to protect us from our own fears and gave us hope instead. God wanted to teach us that that was not how He intended our relationship to be. Because fear did not come from Him. Reading the articles further just brought me once again in that state of utmost humility – being humbled by God’s presence through the revelations.
God’s presence.
This made me think about once again the idea of me waking up at around 3am and why the number 3 proved to be very significant to me like the day of my salvation which was 3/3/13 (which I shared in my previous articles) and was always included in His bigger revelations. Was it God? Did it come from an angel? I was still baffled and yet I know there’s an explanation somehow behind it. So I typed at Google search once again and checked out if there is somehow a biblical significance with the number 3 and the time. The following were the search results that turned up:
The 3 is always there – even my bookmarks came down to 3.
The Prophetic News
The Prophetic News
The Prophetic News
There really is something about names. Mine is Christine. 🙂
Spirit Daily
Spirit Daily
This was another big revelation. Although the moment I read that 3am is also the time where Satan is at work, came the terrifying fear that I might be possessed by a demon or vulnerable of being possessed. Because I admit I do experience some waking up moments at around 3am feeling a heavy feeling in my heart. But for the recent events, they were mostly uplifting and enlightening.
BUT I think my God went before me, for He knows I will seek for answers and He already assured me through the bible verse I have mentioned above. As the article mentioned, the Spirit commanded him to stand on His Word. Fear does not come from God. So most likely, Satan was also trying to butt in. But sorry, not sorry that I am already protected by my loving God. 🙂
I just felt the need to browse a little more and stumbled across a forum regarding the biblical significance of 3am. And one comment just struck me the most:
Yes, I believe it was and is all for a greater calling. A calling that involves a greater harvest. A calling that calls for a preparation towards a significant event. Our God is calling out.
And I believe in my church, our spiritual leaders have already prophesied this. For yesterday’s prayer, led by a sister in Christ who is also a spiritual leader, was all about fear. I really don’t believe in coincidence. 😉
So with that I rest my case, and I am just smiling even more as I type this. For it was one of my prayers to God to give me a bible verse during my wedding that is not the usual bible verse I encounter during Christian weddings such as:
1 John 4:19 ESV
“We love because He first loved us.”
So He gave me a different verse instead – a verse that will have a personal significance and impact not just to me, but a verse that will seal the commitment of what “real love” should be for both me and my fiance along with a symbol of that commitment – the “promise” rings.
It was not just a promise/reminder/covenant between me and my fiance to commit to each other until death do us part but most importantly, it symbolizes God’s beautiful promise for us both – God’s advance wedding gift to us. And this reminds me of The God Triangle:
Photo credit: thewerners.org
Now this is perfect/real love: love is God and God is love. So yes, basically, I just can’t help but thank my God every single day for literally E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. ❤
P.S.
My chosen bible verse for the wedding was not because I chose it but God chose it for me and it was the verse that came just before 1 John 4:19. So I believe it still is in the context of bible verses perfect for Christian weddings. 😉
Here’s a video about God restoring what was lost if we seek Him FIRST.
And here’s a text from him tonight, nothing can ever make me smile the sweetest except when I see the word “pray.” 😀
Our God is indeed a God who restores and redeems. 🙂
This is my first time to sketch a couple and I must admit I am apprehensive when my friend, Jalyn, asked me if I could do a portrait sketch of her friends as a wedding gift. But I was up for the challenge so the answer was “yes.”
This is the 5th sketch that I am to give away. For every art work I make, I feel like a part of me is instilled in it. Something like “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” 😉
The sketch is size 12″ x 18″ and I used just the regular 2B pencil.
The Journeyman's Moments 