“Time For Us To Come Home For Christmas”

I always find it fun and amusing when God surprises me with many things that speak directly to my heart. But this recent surprise is not that fun because it’s an instruction – a task that I have been trying to avoid.

When Mom passed away last year, I couldn’t get myself to celebrate the holidays at home. Mom always made the holidays extra special for the family when we were kids. I got the excitement of decorating the house during the holidays, preparing holiday feasts, and giving gifts from her.

I was also not feeling well during this time last year and had to be rushed to the ER, which made me decide to stay in Manila for the holidays. But this year, God’s instruction was different, and He revealed the message through a movie. I was casually browsing on YouTube for new Hallmark movies, and guess what, the first movie that came up was “Time For Us To Come Home For Christmas.”



After watching it, I felt as if God was telling me that it was about time to bring back old family holiday traditions in memory of Mom. Or maybe make some new ones. Hopefully, we can still use the Christmas tree and other Christmas decorations since we didn’t set them up last year. The photo below was taken during December 2022, Mom’s last Christmas with us.

My siblings and I used to find joy in decorating the house during the holidays and preparing holiday meals because of Mom. As for Dad, he has always been our ever-reliable backup help when doing errands. 😃 I pray we can bring back this joy even though Mom’s no longer with us. 🙏 Btw, there’s something in this photo that is not part of the Christmas decorations. Can you see it? 😆

Holiday celebrations will now be different. But I am grateful that the God we serve never changes in every season. And He is always there to remind us that the hope we should cling to cannot be found in this world, but through Christ alone, who was born in this world and died on the Cross to give us the most precious gift any man can ever receive – the gift of eternal salvation. 🙏


P.S. I found the anointing oil and Spikenard perfume again from my old stuff and brought them with me here in my new apartment to bless the new home. Can I use them to anoint other people when I pray over them, too? If yes, who could be the first? 😃🙏


“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” – Psalm 62:5-8


Dressing The Part

Galaxy Wooden Dressing Up Station

Image copyright: Early Learning Furniture

I made it a habit to share a testimony every time we are in a different season. I have noticed every year God takes us to different places around the metro and mingle with different people. Through these instances, I have learned how to be grateful in any and every given situation though honestly, I used to have this fear of getting out of my comfort zone. I guess when God calls you out, He will also give you the courage and prepare you for what’s in store for you in every season. 🙂

“I am not saying this out of need, for I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances.” – Philippians 4:11

The season before this, we got to appreciate how it is to live simply, minimalist style. We both got comfortable with it and had an idea how it felt to live life with God being the primary source of everything – total reliance on Him. You may read more about this in my next article.

So when this new season presented the opposite, I asked my hubby, “Should we dress the part?” 🙂

I meant that in a figurative and literal sense. I can dress the part but is it really what my heart wants?

I remembered this one incident at the mall and I was going through different shades of my ever favorite Wacoal brassiere design. Yep, I invest in it. No explanation needed for this one but basically, I love the support it gives.

So while I was checking out this bra and then another one, I noticed a saleslady hovering around. Because I don’t like that awkward feeling of someone following me around, I tried to engage her in a conversation. I went on by asking the bra size, color, other designs, etc.

The first thing that she did was scrutinized me (quickly) from head to foot with a smirk and questioning look. Ah yes, I know that look well enough of sales clerks. That look which says, “By your looks, you don’t have money to pay for it.” 😀

I’ve read this one article about it (What To Do When People Mistake You For Being Poor When You’re Truly Rich) and I couldn’t help but agree although not much with how the article ended. I won’t waste millions just because my ego was blasted right out front but that’s because I just don’t have millions to waste away. lol But seriously, the id is one of the causes of some of the unwise things humans do, unfortunately. 😀

This article though from Forbes Magazine might give you a different perspective altogether: Why You Should Stop Trying to ‘Fake It Till You Make It.’

Anyway, going back to that brassiere sales clerk, she did entertain my queries but half-heartedly. The best part is when I did tell her I’m going to buy it, she asked again (just to make sure perhaps?) if I will buy it. I just held my tongue from making a crisp retort that goes like, “Of course I am going to buy it because I NEED it.” Yep, with the emphasis on NEED. lol I’ve been buying and wearing Wacoal bras since I was in college (2002) even if they cost 2k each. Being the practical me, you may find this unusual of me. But it’s never about the price nor the brand but the quality I’m after. I have to have all the support I needed. 🙂

But no, I see her as a darling salesclerk who is made in the likeness of God even if she treated me (harassed rather. lol) that way. I just simply said “yes” with a smile but no, I am not killing her in my thoughts. I already “killed” that initial response right away before it can even creep deeper into my heart – how to kill temptation, the temptation to be irritated or angry.

So can you guess what I was wearing that day? Well, your guess may be right – my usual “pambahay” (house clothes) look with matching “madungis” (soiled) slippers. Yep, going to the mall. lol I look no more than a beggar without the stains on the clothes though and with the “artistahin” skin as some would call it.

Just to inform you all, I have that skin not because of glutathione or any whitening products but because I am a homebody and a remote worker so I don’t get much sunlight. Also, my dad is one-fourth Japanese he doesn’t even have hair on his legs. Pretty flawless for a man, eh? 😀

So again I asked, should I be really dressing the part? Must I succumb to man’s stereotyping that when you are rich, you should dress with all the bling bling? Or that when you have a big house, you should only eat good food a la banquet or a feast? Or that when you have money, dress up in tags?

“Don’t judge the book by its cover.”

This is an adage which I have come to know since I was a kid but I cannot assume everyone knows it. If only I can educate people that it is not always the looks that define who you are and where you’ve come from. It’s been a social stigma that’s been ongoing for centuries and sadly, it has now become the norm and the reason why a lot of people are faking it.

So I was thinking of an experiment. I’ll dress up like a house help like I always would and if they stop me at the gate, I’ll just say, “I’m a helper, a different kind of helper.” 😀 On second thoughts though, I really don’t like to embarass these people when they find out who I am. It kind of gets awkward when they are like bowing to you now and greeting you with the “Maam” and all because they found out who you are and it’s their way of apologizing. 😀

One of the things I hate is this – entitlement. You can read more of my sentiments about it here: The Silent Millionaire. As much as I’d like for everyone to be treated fairly and with equality, I know there is no way to bridge that social barrier except through God, Himself.

Should I still dress the part? No, I’ll stick to what I already got used to because that is me and that is who God wants me to be. ❤

Have you ever been in situations where you felt like you should also be dressing the part? I’d like to know your experience too. 🙂

A journeyman by God’s will,

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P.S.

As for my husband, hmmm, he can wear what he likes. But he is even worse than I am. lol He wears shirts even with holes in it, wears them inside out, and doesn’t give a care. Or mismatched socks! Oh my geez whiz. No wonder we matched. Haha 😀

My Kind of Summer Swimwear: Nonconformist

So, you must be wondering why I am oh-so-fueled with energy to write more than 1 post for this month. 😀

Answer: I am making the most of my idle and waiting time lest I become busy the following months – again. We can never tell, so I am letting those ideas out in the open. Oh, and yes, before I forget them.

Anyway, this is a late post since summer is already over and the rainy season has welcomed its way already here in the metro and in some provinces. Last summer getaway, I was undecided what to wear for my swimwear. I do have a lot of two-piece swimsuits, but I am not sure if I could wear them and swim without a cover-up.

While the rest of the world during summer is revealing too much skin with its very daring two-piece swimsuits (praying for a change), I can only be grateful to God for fashion designers who opted to create swimwear that will preserve the dignity of women and not be treated as sex objects with their skimpy outfits. These outfits aren’t only comfortable, but are fashionably elegant, too.

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I personally LOVED these swimsuits because they easily dry up, are lightweight, securely padded, have an undershorts/bikini attached underneath, and they’re made of silky fabric that glides and never sticks on the skin, even when sweating.

Of course, who likes to change outfits often right after swimming if you don’t like to walk around in your two-piece swimsuit?

I can wear this around comfortably, no cover-up needed. You can also wear this swimsuit as a dress for your lunch date at the resort without the whistles, the catcalls, and the “heavy” stares. If you know what I mean. Oh, and yes, it’s very convenient, too, if you want to travel light for your summer getaway – a swimsuit and a dress in one, no shorts and no cover-up as added extras in your baggage. 🙂

P.S.

I purchased these swimsuits at SM Department Store and Farmer’s Plaza (Cubao) flea market at almost the same price (a reasonable one) – 500 PHP. I saw similar swimsuits being sold online, and they tag them as three-piece swimsuits.

[Paul said,] “I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” – 1 Timothy 2:9

“Pag-iingat sa Pangungulila”

Photo credit: scoopboy.com

Photo credit: scoopboy.com

August is National Language Month here in the Philippines or what we commonly call as “Buwan ng Wikang Pambansa.” In line with the month-long celebration and as an artist and a poet, I have written a poem using our native language which is “Filipino.”

*Still working on the English translation. 🙂

PAG-IINGAT SA PANGUNGULILA

Isang malaking pag-aalinlangan,

Nang ika’y aking masilayan.

Napaisip ngunit nagbunyi,

Dahil ako’y tunay mong napangiti.

 

Ngunit pagkakataon ay dumating,

Na parang bumura sa bawat kong hiling.

Na ikaw ay aking makapiling,

Tila ba’y naging bituing walang ningning.

 

Marahil bugso lang ng damdamin,

Maya’t maya lilipas at mawawala din.

Ngunit ako’y nagkamali,

Nang araw ay lumipas, ako pa di’y nagtitimpi.

 

Ano pa nga ba’t nagkaganito?

Madalas na tanong sa sarili ko.

Naiwan ay alaalang kay tamis,

Ngunit may pait at kirot ding ‘di kanais nais.

 

Ito na ang pagdagsa ng damdamin,

Na pilit sa sarili kong inaamin.

Mawawala at mawawala din,

Hangga’t kayang tiisin.

 

Mabuti nang bumitaw,

Habang may sikat pa ang araw.

Liwanag ng kabataan,

Ikaw at ika’y masusundan.

 

Panibagong hamon, panibagong yugto.

Nasa akin ang damdaming hindi kailanma’y susuko.

Na harapin ang bukas ng may pananampalataya.

Ngingiti at ngingiti din at tuluyang lalaya.

“Golden Patterns”

A beautiful, intricate pattern in one of Zamboanga City’s shawls made of fine gold threads. One of the exquisite designs ever made – definitely a work of art. 🙂

I Have Made A Friend – In Jail

Davao City Jail

Davao City Jail

No. I wasn’t arrested. Just in case you are wondering. 🙂

It was my first time to be in jail. I was nervous. I have always thought of prisons in a very negative manner – a correctional facility for the “bad guys” of society. I expected to see and experience the worst – prisoners taunting us, throwing things while we are looking around, screaming, dirty environment and prison cells.

That was before I entered the compound of the Davao City Jail. When I got inside, I was surprised. I saw colourful homes with curtained windows, flowers, plants, trees and a pavilion with a stage decorated for a program. I saw women sweeping the yard, washing laundry, creating and weaving handicrafts –  it doesn’t look like a jail at all.

Yes, the jail wardens referred to the jail houses as “cottages” and the prisoners as “bakasyonistas” or “tourists.” Their quarters are indeed small cottages and if you weren’t informed beforehand, you might think that there is a small community inside. Except that the settlers are all women – a correctional facility for female prisoners.

Slowly, I became more comfortable as our guide, who happened to be one of the prisoners also, toured us around and explained what the “bakasyonistas” are doing, what the particular cottages are for and how the system in that community works. Our purpose for the visit is to learn about how they run the program on ALS or Alternative Learning System as part of the requirements in one of my classes in my graduate study at the University of the Philippines in Diliman.

The ALS aims to provide opportunities for these women to study and learn while inside the facility to help them earn for a living through the income generated from the handicrafts that they have created. As for the younger women, this will be an equivalent to a vocational course that would certify them of getting decent and promising careers outside when they have served their terms and are released from the facility.

Most of the “bakasyonistas” were detained due to drug-related offenses. Some accounts are based on a drug-busting operation and they just happen to be included because they were at the scene when the operation happened but were innocent of the crime. A classmate of mine and I were given the opportunity to interview one “bakasyonista.”

Her name is *Rosa. She is 25 years old, 2 years younger than me. She has two kids already and she’s been in the facility for about almost 2 years. She and her husband were separated even before she was arrested. When I saw her, I never felt any apprehension how to approach her. She seems harmless. She greeted us with a smiling face, a bit shy. She carries a very light expression about her while we were conversing. We asked her about how she finds the ALS program and found out that she is one of the staff in-charge with the art decorations of the stage. She said that she loves to do art works and she is also one of the women in that community who weaves ladies’ bags out of straw.

She said that it is a very good opportunity for them that they are studying through the ALS because it gives them hope. It gives them another chance to start something good for a new beginning when they leave the facility. I asked her what she plans to do after she has served her term, she said she plans on putting up her own handicraft store and she wanted to see her two kids as she missed them so much already. She said that she seldom sees the kids as they are studying and her mom and relatives are also too busy to pay her a visit. They get to visit her once or twice a year. I asked her when her term will end. She was silent at first, looked at her hands laid out in front of her and then, she cried.

She doesn’t know for how long she will stay inside the facility. In between sobs, she told us she misses her children so badly. Sometimes, even if the facility seems to be a good community and they are treated pretty well, it still feels lonely. She said that yes, they may be seeing homes, flowers, plants – a regular community, but at the back of her mind, the thought still remains that they are prisoners. That though they may be free to roam around the compound, they still can’t leave the facility and mingle with the rest of society, free to do anything they want.

At that time, while she is talking, I wanted to cry too. But I just held her hand and listened. By the end of her story, I told her with a smiling face, “Don’t lose hope. Have your faith in God. He will give you the strength to overcome all those feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. You will get out of this facility, you will be free and you will be able to see your children soon.”

I changed the topic as soon as I said that to prevent her from crying even more. I asked her what she did on Valentine’s Day. She told us that she was one of the “bakasyonistas” who conceptualized the theme for the stage decoration and yes, she had a date. After saying this, yes, the light, bubbly *Rosa was back again. I teased her. I asked who the guy is. She told us that the guy is one of the male detainees at the men’s correctional facility which is the compound next to theirs.

So I wondered how they got to know each other. She said that it was through a dance group, where she and the guy were members, while they were practicing for a dance presentation. After that, they have been sending love letters to each other through a window. She is blushing while saying all these and I can’t help but feel happy for her.

When our professor told us to wrap up the interview, I asked her if she can show me some of the handicrafts she made. She showed me a purple and blue shoulder bag. Being a fashionista, I liked it right after I saw it. I asked her how much is it. She told me it is worth Php350.00 which is equivalent to US $7. I gave her a 500-peso bill and told her to just keep the change.

I was expecting her to say “Thank you” and only that. But no, she hugged me tight, almost jumping from joy, smiled, and told me, almost crying, how grateful she is. She just could not thank me enough; she told me she will use the money to buy her youngest girl a new pair of school shoes. She then told me to wait because she has something more for me. I told her it is fine as we are also about to leave. But she still insisted, so I gave in. She returned a few minutes after with a coin purse and a belt made of the same color to the bag I bought. She is giving them to me, for free, so they would match my bag.

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*Rosa’s Handwoven Bag, Belt and Coin Purse All Made of Straw

When she said that, it was I who wanted to cry right then and there. It is a good thing I was able to control my tears. I thanked her and just told her how nice of her to do that and for having a big heart. I told her that I will never ever forget her. I asked her how I can contact her. She gave me the number of the facility and her full name. Afterwards, I hugged her tightly again and she hugged me back just as tight, smiling with a light and happy heart. I, then, bid her farewell.

As I was inside the van with the rest of the class on our way to our dormitel, I began to replay what just happened. Those few minutes that I got to talk to her, see the community and hear their stories, I felt like I have learned a year-worth of experience.

As the facility is starting to get smaller and farther from our view, I can only utter a prayer. A prayer of hope for *Rosa, her children and her family. A prayer for her that she would continue to look into life on a positive perspective despite what she went through, going through and her sacrifices. That she would continue to hold on to her dreams despite all the feelings of loneliness, depression and hopelessness.

Yes, I have faith. I told her to have faith. God is good and loving enough to answer prayers when we repent and ask for His forgiveness. He has a purpose for every single thing that we experience. I told her to be patient. God makes all things beautiful in His time. Just trust and obey.

Lastly, I pray for her heart, that though it may have been broken, though it may have been tainted, it still would remain to be capable of loving and caring.

It was golden. That moment was golden.

When Grace and Aura Captivate You: That’s Dancing

“Dancing in all its forms cannot be excluded from the curriculum of all noble education; dancing with the feet, with ideas, with words, and, need I add that one must also be able to dance with the pen?” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I have been dancing ever since I can remember. My earliest would be when I was 6 years old. Yep, that picture of mine below was taken during a school program, and we were dancing in the tune of “Da Coconut Nut” by the Smokey Mountain.

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Hawaiian-themed Dance Number, 1991

This was only one of the many dance presentations that I participated when I was in grade school. Dance rehearsals were exhausting and yet very fulfilling. I performed in school plays, too, but it happened only once or twice. Unfortunately, I am not a good actress. 😃

As with declamations, there were 3 instances where I did an oratorical piece in the vernacular as well as in English. But again, not as much as compared to writing during essay contests and dancing. Dancing is just love.

When I was 12 years old, the Folk Dance Troupe in our school (where I was a member) participated in the Literary Musical Contest. We won in the District level (participated by the schools in Bulan, our town) as well as in the Zonal level (participated by the nearby schools in our town), and we were able to compete in the Division level (which comprised mostly of schools in the entire province).

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Literary Musical Contest, 1996

When I was in high school, I became a member of the Folk Dance Troupe under the coaching of our ever graceful and ever beautiful, Ms. Malou Lanuza, and been performing since 1st year until 2nd year. I learned from her that dancing is not just a combination of steps and poses. But it is more of a skill that you slowly craft to create a beautiful masterpiece. You give a piece of who you are to your dance – an expression of who you are. It was through our rigourous dance training with her that I got to learn all about dedication to dancing and to be diligent in perfecting the moves. We would practice from 8 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon every day. All our hard work paid off though as we were able to target fluidity in movements (balance and timing) and perfection of grace, poise, aura, and performance.

During my Junior and Senior years, I quit dancing as I joined the CAT (Citizen’s Army Training) and became an S2 Intelligence Officer of the Corps. We also spent two years doing community service, drills every Saturday, exercises, and exams. I started missing folk dancing at this point, but I also looked forward to the kind of training that the CAT would provide. Below is a photo of me during the Officers’ Induction Night.

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CAT, 2000

I was able to perform mostly in folk dances though I also know a bit of ballroom dancing or social dancing (tango, cha-cha, rumba, and samba). In the provinces, folk dancing is usually more common and more popular than social dancing.

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Filipino Day, 2012

Our costumes for the folk dance numbers were the traditional costumes of the Filipinos: the barong (for boys) and saya (for the girls) and the Maria Clara dress. You can check out this link for more information regarding the history of the Maria Clara dress, which is also our national costume.

I never got the opportunity to dance again when I was in college because I didn’t have the time, and I was busy with the school requirements. It was only after graduation that I have decided to dance again. I thought dancing will be a good way to exercise and work out since I had an office job during weekdays, and I badly needed physical activity. I did not try folk dancing this time though. I tried something quite new and difficult – street dancing.

Oh yes, it was indeed the complete opposite when it comes to form, beat, style, and techniques. I was totally blown away, but IT WAS SO FUN. 😊

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Street Dancing, 2013

Learning something new, for me, is and will always be fun. I got to learn just the basics only, unfortunately. I had to focus on the heaps of workload, and I was extremely exhausted after I got off from work at that time.

But surprise, surprise. YES, my wish was granted. The UP Street Dance Club in my alma mater, the University of the Philippines in Diliman, Quezon City sponsored a workshop as a fundraising event. My schedule? So free and available to reserve a slot! Wohoo! I was so glad I was able to hit the dance floor again after 3 years of hibernating. And this time, I got to support a good cause, too. Indeed, the wonders of answered prayers. 😊❤️🙏

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Body and Soul Grooves 5 by the UP Street Dance Club

The Weather May Change But The Feeling Will Not

Was there a time during your childhood when a storm would scare you to your bones and leave you running to your parents’ room? Oh yes, and that is a definite. I am sure of that. Sometimes, that is what I want to do the past few days. Not because I am scared and have this dire need to head to my parents’ room, but because it feels gloomy and I crave for the solitary comfort of my own bed. December  has always been a cold month here in Bicol and rainshowers and thunderstorms are a common weather during this season.  But to some extent, I was able to recall a Christmas season wherein it was celebrated with sunny skies and slightly windy days. Chilly, definitely yes, but not as much as what they have in Baguio.

As far as my synapses could accommodate, I remember, still, that sunny Christmas day wherein I greeted the crisp, cool morning air with a smile and watched the ray of light seeped through the window curtains as the warm sun starts to occupy the room with its heat.  I would change my clothes, having that bubbly, Christmas-ie feeling, excited for the gifts and excited to go to Church with my relatives. I suddenly missed that feeling. Just so to prove that yes, there was indeed a Christmas season wherein everything was dry, clear and pleasant, I was able to unearth this old picture of mine two decades ago. Yes, there indeed was a time when Christmas day was celebrated with blue skies and a smiling sun.

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December 1991

I missed that time. When now, waking up on a cold, dreary, wet Christmas day can simply snap the Christmas spirit out of you feeling all too gloomy and lazy to even go out of bed. But it was a tradition: waking up early, dressing up, going to Church and opening the gifts. I sort of cursed the howling wind, the hard splashes of rain on the rooftop and the puddle of rainwater everywhere for ruining everything — my attire, my day, the celebration. We asked Daddy to drive us to Church and when we arrived, settled ourselves inside and prayed. Really, wonders are made by prayers.  I never asked for a miracle. But I asked that the true spirit of Christmas be felt. The service went on until the part came wherein our Pastor has to deliver the Christmas message/homily. I began to smile.

Why would I even bother  if it rains heavily, if thunderstorms are out there, if winds are strong enough to uproot a tree? I wasn’t up today for that. I am to celebrate and rejoice. Celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ to be exact. I prayed for Him, that may His special day be treated as such — bountiful, glorious and filled with joy. The prayer was answered. I saw kids, dressed up all in red getting ready for their presentation after the service. I looked up and saw the ceiling, the windows, the altar adorned not just with regular flowers but with Christmas decors that seem to twinkle with every sway. I heard the piano playing Christmas songs and the congregation singing to it. I saw SMILES everywhere. This is the true Christmas spirit. Ahhh yes, this is indeed it. I thanked the Lord I felt it. Thanked Him for making me feel it.

Every memory of all the Christmases I had in our Church seemed to have filled me once again. I imagined myself being in front of the crowd, reciting a poem I have memorized for a hundred times or performing a dance number  followed by a loud applause and cheers from the crowd. Of course, how could I forget the wide smile everytime the gift was handed to me by Auntie Flor and Auntie Belen as well as to the other kids…I saw all of them in the kids present at the Church now. How one memory could evoke a feeling of happiness is already a gift. Let it rain. Let it thunder. Let it be. Some things just never change. 🙂