The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
The last day of this year’s Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting ended with such high energy – it’s dedicated to campus ministry. So expected na that the youth will still be full of energy kahit nagfa-fasting. Ang mga tanders gusto nang umuwi. 😅
Ah yes, watching the youth jump and sing their hearts out and with so much fervor during praise and worship brings back memories of mine na sobrang naka-relate ako. Kahit tahimik at mahiyain ako noon (kahit ngayon), kapag ang mga kasama mo mag-worship ay ganyan ka-energetic, mahahawa ka din talaga.
But they were among the best memories of my spiritual journey as a born-again Christian. Naalala ko dati, after ng church service, parang andami mo pang energy at kulang na lang hindi ka na uuwi at sa church ka na lang lagi.
I started my baby steps as a born-again Christian sa Victory Katipunan at ang dating Victory GT Toyota in UP Diliman. Karamihan sa churchgoers doon ay mga estudyante. I was a young professional back then pero ito lang ang mga malapit na Victory churches sa apartment namin dati kaya dito ako nagsimba. I had my 1-on-1 discipleship journey and Victory Weekend in Victory Katipunan in 2013.
Kaya kapag pakiramdam mo nanlalamig ka na sa faith, just attend a Youth Service (every Friday night ito usually). Because to be honest, we can learn a lot from the youth. They bring in new perspectives, which allow us to better understand their culture now and could be the solution to bridging the generational gap as far as discipleship is concerned.
And they have LOTS of energy. Kailangan i-channel ito para sa iba’t ibang talents like singing and dancing pero within the church community. Ganito rin kami sa Protestant church namin sa hometown ko where I attended church services when I was a kid. Merong intermission number ang youth sa kalagitnaan ng church service.
If I’m going to be a parent, I’d rather see my child being rambunctious and on fire serving the Lord through praise and worship than attending some concerts where drunkenness, illegal drugs, sex, etc. are prevalent at ang mga lyrics ng kanta either sobrang depressing or maraming mura. Kaya ang Spotify ko ngayon sinasala ko what are the songs that I should and should not include in my playlists. May iba na medyo sablay ng konti sa lyrics, but because I love the melody, pinapakinggan ko sya. But I don’t let the words get into my head.
Speaking of being on fire, I’ve been pondering on these two questions recently. Like what if someone asks me these questions, ano ba ang isasagot ko? 🙂
“Have you always been this on fire for the Lord?“
“Are you always this passionate with this Jesus thing?“
My answer sa mga tanong na ito is that, yes, I have always been on fire for the Lord. May mga times na hindi ako madalas makasimba, but my faith never became lukewarm. Lagi kasing may tugging ng Spirit to remain true sa calling at isa na dyan itong blog ko. Na kailangan ipagpatuloy ang pag-share ng Word and spiritual journey ko dito to fulfill the commitment I made when I surrendered my life to Him. Ganyan si God pagdating sa accountability, hindi mo Sya pwedeng talikuran ng ganun-ganun lang. 😃
Gaya noong isang araw, 2nd day ng prayer and fasting, I woke up with another eczema breakout – just one, right in the middle of my left hand. This one rash reappears on the same spot every time something triggers it i.e. perfumes, stress, food allergens, cold and dry environments, etc.
Noong una itong lumabas last year kung tama pagkaalala ko, na-bother ako kung ano na naman naka-trigger sa kanya. Hanggang sa nasanay na ako tignan sya every time it reappears. I’ve had eczema flare-ups since I was in college, btw. At napatawa na lang ako when I saw it again kahapon.
Because you know what it reminded me of? Para syang ‘yung scar ni Jesus sa kamay noong pinako Sya sa Cross. I mean, sa dinami-daming locations sa katawan na pwede syang lumabas, dito lang talaga sa left hand at saktong sentrong-sentro pa at nag-iisa lang sya.
At ngayon lang sa akin nag-sink in na hindi kaya God is trying to remind me something? And He had to use a visual reminder, something tangible na hindi ko basta-basta madi-dismiss. Because I am in this season yet again na God is telling me to do something that will require me to step out in even bigger faith. At ang sagot ko sa Kanya was this:
“Lord, I am unworthy. I am not equipped. I am not qualified. I don’t want to do it.”
I know God is reminding me of my worthagain – in Him. Para bang itong pantal ay reminder ng Dios na, “Tin, my Son sacrificed His life for you and died on the Cross to save you from being perished. Because that is how much I love you and that is how special you are to me. I want you to continue walking the path that I have set out for you to walk on and complete the task that I want you to do. His blood was shed on your behalf so you can be a new creation – because you are worthy. And I want other people to know and experience this, too.”
I guess the calling will always remain, and it will never change regardless of the circumstances we are in. Although hindi ko talaga pwedeng takasan ang calling because Christ is in my name. Unless I read my name backwards. 😅 Kidding aside, hindi ako pwedeng tumalikod sa calling because Christ already lives in me. 🙏
As my life verse goes, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13. And I will also add that I can do all these things because aside from Christ, I also have people who can help me do the work for the Lord no matter how daunting – they are the body of Christ. ♥️
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.” – Romans 8:18
P.S. Every church has its own flaws and weaknesses because the enemy will continue to attack it. But for as long as Jesus remains to be the center of the church, be in that spiritual family. And even if you’ve gone astray, come back. 🙏
Ever wondered why doves were chosen to symbolize peace and hope? It’s one of the questions that sparked my curiosity ever since I was a kid. Thank God for technology and Google, all of the answers are on the internet (credible ones).
A Winged Visitor?
Yesterday (Sunday), I found this feather on our condo’s terrace. I thought an angel visited us. When I looked up, I saw several doves hovering and some were perched on the ledges of the other building. Oh, and by the way, I found some bird poop, too, along with the feather.
So yes, there was no angel, but only birds who visited our terrace either as a friend who brings “good news” or as a foe who destroys my plants. The latter, I would still have to find out. 😀
Was It Really Just A Bird?
This incident brought me back to my curiosity about doves as symbols of peace. The logo of our Protestant church in my home province also bears the figure of a dove with a branch on its beak.
I did my research, and here’s what I found out. There are several passages that mentioned the dove in the Bible. For one, it symbolizes the end of a long wait after the flood in the story of Noah’s ark.
The dove also represents the Holy Spirit as mentioned in the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. When John baptized Jesus, the Holy Spirit came down in the form of a dove.
[and the Holy Spirit descended on Him in a bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased.”] – Matthew 3:16
We are all having financial challenges right now. There are also looming threats of acquiring COVID-19 since my husband is also a front liner although not in a COVID-19 facility. There are also issues in our community that we are currently dealing with. Our country also has so many political and social conflicts.
I guess I might have silently prayed to God to give me the courage, the strength, the wisdom, and the peace to withstand all of these trials and the trials to come.
What Are The Trials In The Future?
What are these possible dangers? There is the possibility of another Martial Law being declared in the Philippines as more people oppose the Anti-Terrorism Bill. Some of them have already been arrested.
The economic recession is just starting, and some businesses might not even be able to recover from it. There are so many unemployed Filipinos, and the number will continue to rise in the following months.
Positive cases of COVID-19 also increase each day. There were many discrepancies in the data provided, and there’s no way to find out what info is reliable and what is not.
Across the globe, US-China tension is continuing to build up, and others assume that World War III is not impossible. All the looting and violence in America caused by racism have reopened a wound that’s supposed to be a scar already.
A Prayer For All
We don’t have answers why they are all happening, and yet all I know is that they will never go away and we all just have to get through them. I think all of us, at one time during this year, have shed tears praying for deliverance from all that is happening around us.
We all have groaned. I sometimes ask God how long will His people have to endure this suffering. Is this the “fasting, weeping, and mourning” He is talking about as we give our hearts to Him?
That is why the LORD says, “Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning.” – Joel 2:12
And I was reminded of my late maternal grandmother who passed away last year. She’s the first woman I know who’s a devout Christian and a Bible woman. Tears would always accompany her prayers every time she prays during family gatherings or even during the Sunday service as a church elder.
Every time my grandma prays this way, my cousins and I would glance at each other with that question mark look on our faces. It was only when I was born again and a bit older that I found out the reason behind her tears.
God Listens To Heartfelt Prayers
As a survivor of World War II, both my grandparents in my mother and father’s side went through extreme trauma losing not just possessions, livelihoods, and homes, but also loved ones. My grandma’s two brothers were drafted to serve the military during the Japanese occupation. We don’t know what happened to them after the war. My paternal grandma also lost a child (my Dad’s sister) during the war.
Meanwhile, my parents’ generation experienced the unfolding of Martial Law under the Marcos regime. Both generations of my parents and grandparents witnessed the horrors of crime, violence, death, fear, hunger, and loss at their peak.
Thus, it was with tears that my grandma prayed for her kids, grandkids, and the coming generations that may we all be guided and protected by the Lord. Because after how many decades, it is now our turn to experience them again. Only this time, the enemy has sent some of his most powerful warfares.
If my grandma’s still alive, I know these will be the Bible verses that she would share to us as part of her heartfelt prayers:
“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you.
But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.” We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you.
All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”
– 2 Corinthians 4:8-18
You Promised, Lord
And because God always keeps His promises, He will always find ways to remind us to hold on to what He has already given to us – salvation. The present is in chaos, the future may be dim, and yet the light of God’s offering of peace and life in eternity remains.
I’ve mentioned several times here in my blog how Paulo Coehlo’s planner (my brother and sister-in-law’s consistent birthday gift every year) has played a huge part in delivering God’s messages. I know it is not a coincidence that the quote for this week is this:
And accompanied by the dove’s feather, all I can say is that God is really everywhere. You just have to be in tune with the Spirit to know when He comes.
It feels good to be back posting my thoughts in this special place I call “blog.” It’s been a month since I last posted as I’ve promised myself to keep the holidays as solemn as possible – an opportunity to spend quality time with me and my husband’s families and loved ones which equates to less social media interaction and doing the actual interaction with people. Yes, I still believe forging stronger relationships can only be done through meaningful conversations, moments of laughter, of just sitting there, reminiscing and just being with people you love.
Honestly and personally, the beginning of this year didn’t start well for me and my family. An incident during the New Year’s eve wherein my niece had a bad fall while we were using sparklers and a disagreement with my hubby made me tell him that this was the first New Year’s eve that didn’t go right and as happy or perfect. I thought of it as a sign or a meaning that is not just what the circumstances obviously portray.
I was too fearful back then and it was this fear that held back my freedom to try enjoyable and good things. But since I got saved, I channeled these fears of mine through prayers and relied on to God for courage. And what I will share are more like God’s answers in a visible way – a way in which we, humans, can relate. Although faith is the assurance of something that we do not see, and yet God also makes us feel His presence in ways that we can relate.
The first of these was a very visible sign – a rainbow. I know as a kid what rainbows meant, they appear after a storm. When I was in high school, Science have taught me how rainbows were created, it’s called prism. But it is God who taught me now what they really are for – to give hope. When my husband and I went to my hometown in Bicol which was struck by the typhoon Nona, the worst that was listed in the history of the town, we saw the devastation it brought upon my townspeople.
As our bus was getting nearer our hometown, I struggled to hold back the tears as I felt a piercing in my heart from what I saw – every house that we passed by was destroyed, completely roofless or blown away, electricity lines were all down, and the once luscious greenery was now leafless, brown and lifeless. I so felt the heaviness inside my heart that if given a private moment at that time, I want to drop down on my knees and weep. I know I have every right to ask God “why?” but I know God has a good reason for everything and I just have to continue seeing the good in every situation. Thus, I prayed silently in my heart – that God would give us hope.
We arrived home and was glad that my parents and my sister were safe and was extremely grateful that not one of our properties near our home was destroyed – not even our tree house! Which really was, for me, a miracle. It also survived super typhoon Yolanda in 2013.
Though it lifted my spirits up, I cannot stop thinking about those who will celebrate the holidays without shelter, without clean clothes, without electricity, food and jobs.
It was still early in the morning so my husband and I took the opportunity to go out the balcony at the second floor of our house which faces the rice fields and some houses. Lo and behold, our arrival was greeted by a rainbow in its full spectrum – colors as complete and as bold as they are from one end to the other. This was the first rainbow appearance that I have gazed in my entire life that is so complete. Both my husband and I were amazed, so he decided to capture the moment.
Since that day, we often see rainbows, sometimes two rainbows at the same time even. And my husband and I would just gaze up with a smile. Until came the day for us to leave my hometown. It was my sister’s birthday and to our surprise, an electrician came up to our house and informed us that they are now reinstalling electricity. Wow! We weren’t expecting it to be that soon as reports said it will take about 4-6 months to put up electric posts and lines. We teased my sister that she got the best birthday gift ever from God – electricity. 😀
And on that same day, as my husband and I boarded the bus and we were slowly leaving the town, I saw yet another rainbow in its full spectrum. As close as before even though we were in a moving vehicle. I tugged my husband’s arm and pointed the rainbow to him, that’s when I realized what God meant by rainbows. The power lines and electricity being restored were just a few of the many promises that God will fulfill and the rainbow was His sign of that promise. 🙂
The second was during the Prayer and Fasting. My hubby and I were having disagreements about future goals that it came to the point wherein emotions were escalating. I went ahead and grabbed a stick note that belonged to my sister to better illustrate my point and started flipping its pages to find a new one when out fell a very old piece of paper. I could tell by the corners of it turned yellow by old age. I was still explaining while picking up this paper until something caught my eyes. The paper was a very old calling card and the most interesting thing about it was the name printed on that calling card, the name of a clinic – God’s Way Diagnostic Center. It looked too old that I was not even sure if the clinic still exists. 🙂
I have long given up the notion that everything happens coincidentally. Nothing happens by chance, perhaps by choice and yet there is this idea of the Grand Plan – God’s will. So I stopped talking, my husband also followed suit. I looked closely at the calling card and scrutinized every detail in it. I laughed. I smiled. My mood changed and here I was just savoring everything that was there in the calling card. Take note of what I have discovered: “God’s Way,” “man,” “United Nations,” Noe Lordan,” and “Sure ka dito.”
I interpreted God’s message as this, if my husband and I continue to insist what we both wanted which is different from one another, we will be disappointed, we will be furious, we will have a fight and there will be no peace. BUT if we choose God’s way, then man will be united through the Lord and we will be sure of it.
I shared this to my husband, and we both agreed – God will give us the wisdom and will guide us in making the right decision in His time and at the right place. We have decided then to just include what we were disagreeing about in our Prayer and Fasting, which are now among our faith goals and settled the matter in peace. 🙂
Last but not the least is the color “orange.” Yes, I am supposed to write this article 2nd week of January but I haven’t felt the urge to do so. And now I realized why. My sharing of testimony/revelations won’t be complete as some of them will take place just the 2nd week of January. Yes, everything in God’s time indeed. 🙂
So what about orange? Well, during the holidays I have received gifts from my loved ones and not that I am materialistic but because I am a keen observer, I was able to piece everything together. Or maybe God intended I find it out. I used to own a pen from my brother’s wedding, a green one. Somebody borrowed it and forgot to return it. I loved the pen so I asked my brother if he has spare ones. He said yes and circumstances aligned in a way that the only free time he can give it to me was over the holidays. So I got hold of the pen during the holidays and he asked me to choose from 3 colors – orange, green and blue. Blue is my favorite color, but this time, the orange pen attracted me in such a way that I chose it over the blue one. There were only two left of that color.
Then, when I opened my brother and sister-in-law’s gift to me, it was my favorite Paulo Coelho planner. Now this planner also has a very meaningful part in my spiritual journey as a Christian. And maybe that is the reason why for 3 consecutive Christmases now, I have been receiving this planner from my brother. To which I am very grateful. Nothing is ever meaningful than to write over something that God has meant for you to write on. And guess what the dominant color is in the abstract design of the cover? It is orange. 🙂
I still wasn’t amazed by the orange thing until I remembered our Prayer and Fasting manuals, the dominant color is orange amid the black and yellow. So now…..I am beginning to wonder. There is no coincidence with God, right? 🙂
I thought, there is something that God wanted me to find out with this orange thing. I shared this to my husband and told him, I still can’t decipher what this orange means but I know God wanted to tell me something or He wanted me to know something. This was 1st week of January. We finished the Prayer and Fasting already and yet no clear answers.
Then 2nd week of January came. My sister from Norway arrived and she brought with her gifts from her travel to Prague in Czech Republic. She made my husband and I choose between gold and bronze key chains with the engraved names of Praha and Ceska Republika. My husband chose the gold one and I happily settled with the bronze key chain. And while I was taking a macro shot of it, I noticed that bronze has a similar color to orange like tangerine. Except that it is darker. SO the orange thing was there again even from far, far away like Prague. 😉
Now I believe God has intended I come to the conclusion of my findings. Something within me spurred the thought that I forgot to read all my devotion in Our Daily Bread since December 20 until December 31 so I did my backlogs. And voila, here’s the finding. In the December 25 devotion, the title is “Christingle.” It’s just like my name Christine, without the “g” and the “l.” Well, the reason why my Mom named me Christine was because I was born on December 22, Christmas time. 😉
Christingle
AND here’s what I found out about Christingle. Do read along the devotion in the picture and be amazed. 🙂
In Europe and America orange is commonly associated with amusement, the unconventional, extroverts, warmth, fire, energy, activity, danger, taste and aroma, the autumn season, and Protestantism. In Asia it is an important symbolic colour of Buddhism andHinduism.[1] – Wikipedia
In other sources, orange also means joy and creativity. I was just fascinated to find out one of the meanings of “orange” in the Wikipedia definition which is Protestantism – the religion I grew up with as a child through my grandmother, the daughter of one of the pioneers of the Protestant church in our hometown.
My grandmother is for me the epitome of a woman of faith. No other woman have I encountered who has as much devotion in faith as she has through the 91 years of her life. We were able to visit her during the holidays and when I saw her, tears came running down my cheeks as I hugged her. She was bedridden from a bad fall and yet we can feel that her spirit is strong. There came a moment when she told us that she is already tired and she does not want us to live as long as she did. But my eldest sister assured her that God still has a purpose why she has to live that long. My only prayer to God for my grandmother is that she will have the peace in her heart that her family will always be guided by God and that her prayers were never unanswered. 🙂
So now I would like to end this article with the question from the theme of our Prayer and Fasting this year:
“Would you dare to believe?” 🙂
And also with this official soundtrack from the movie Prince of Egypt which I know has something to do with me planning to name our first baby boy with Zaphen, from Joseph’s Egyptian name Zaphenath Paneah. 😉
Though Whitney Houston died a tragic death, this song will always remind me of my memory of her and what this song aims to instill in our hearts – how to believe and have faith even with the impossible.
And it has now become my tradition to include a prayer in the very first article that I will write for the new year here in my blog. Please pray this prayer with me my dear brothers and sisters:
“Dear Father,
Though we do not see the future and though fear may start to creep in our hearts for the many trials and challenges, the “giants” that will come our way, we pray that You give us the courage and the strength to overcome them all. Please guide and protect us as we continue to tread along the journey that you have set out for us to accomplish.
We are rest assured that You are and will be with us in all that we will go through. We claim that in the name of Your Son, Jesus, we will will not just be conquerors but we will be game-changers and leaders in spreading Your Word and Your Love.
Thank you for the many things and the many ways that You have assured us of the Grace, the Love and the Hope. We will continue to seek for Your Name and we will give You all the glory and honor that You deserve.
Please teach us how to be more appreciative of the things that we have through what You have given, to be joyful despite the storms and may You continue to be our source of Light despite the darkness around us.
We send this prayer from our hearts with all our love and through the mighty name of Your Son, Jesus,
Amen.”
Let’s have a more appreciative 2016, everyone! 🙂 ❤
The Journeyman's Moments 