The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
If you are single, I have an advice: do not marry.
1. Do not marry if your heart is not in the right place.
And if you will ask me where the right place is, it’s with God. Your heart should be after God’s heart first. Only then will you know how to love your spouse the way that God would want you to love him or her. You cannot give the love that your significant other deserves if you haven’t experienced God’s love in your life, and your heart is not aligned with His.
2. Do not marry if your spouse is not your top priority next to God.
This is where cleaving comes in. You and your spouse were called to be married to build a family of your own – the two of you and your future kids. God will come first, your spouse next, then your biological family, your career, and lastly, your ministry. Do not marry if you cannot be with your spouse through thick and thin.
3. Do not marry if you wish to pursue only your goals.
Talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend about your plans for the future. Make sure that they are aligned with one another, and both of you are going towards the right direction or trying to pursue similar goals in life. AND also, talk it out what both of you plan to do in case one of you changed his or her plans when you’re already married. It is very important for couples to talk about this early on in the relationship. Some marriages fail because they were unable to prepare for this particular scenario.
4. Do not marry if you can’t let go of some of your habits as a single person.
Both of you have to adjust when you finally get married. And this includes letting go of habits such as confiding to your best friend who is from the opposite sex every time you and your spouse are having marital problems. This is to avoid emotional infidelity. Also, prioritize your spouse first before your friends or any other person. If you have only 1 day in a week as your rest day, choose to spend it with your spouse. If your spouse is understanding enough, he or she will allow you to meet with friends and relatives every now and then. Let go of any addiction before getting married, it will ruin your marriage.
5. Do not marry if you haven’t asked your significant other about having or not having kids.
This is very crucial. Sometimes plans when it comes to having kids change after getting married. Talk it out with your partner what both of you are going to do should 5 years after your wedding, one of you doesn’t want to have kids anymore.
6. And lastly, do not marry if you are not genuinely in love with your partner.
What is love? My answer is 1 Corinthians 13. And marry for the right reasons. What are these? Get married because you adore the person so much and can’t live without him or her. Marry the person if you love him or her enough that being with her or him is like being home. Don’t marry if you’re looking for a trophy wife or trophy husband. And don’t marry someone to move on from an old flame. Choose to marry because that is what God has called you to do and you want God to be the center of your marriage. Because when God is included in your marriage, even if it goes through the fiery furnace, it will withstand the burning flames because you both know how it is to love one another just as God has loved you. And it takes three to make a marriage work – God, you, and your spouse.
If you are not yet married, I hope these nuggets of wisdom will help you avoid the pitfalls that trapped so many couples and sadly, they weren’t able to save their marriages. If you are also struggling in your marriage, I pray that God will give you the wisdom, peace, and discernment to make the right decisions. And if your marriage already failed, I pray that you will heal, learn from the experience, and be able to make a new start this time aligned according to God’s will and plans for our lives.
And this is why I couldn’t emphasize enough how important item #1 is. Everything will go back and will have to start with God. This is the only way to make your relationship fireproof until death parts you both – God at the center between the husband and the wife. 🙏
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12
“Hi, I’m Yellow Tin Tuna, I mean Yellow Tin Human.” And there she goes again. 😄
I’m reblogging this article while I catch up on a lot of other pending articles. The reason for my short absence will be discussed in detail in the succeeding articles.
Meanwhile, I hope you’ll get an insight or two from this article and please feel free to express your sentiments, too. ❤
That is how we, Filipinos, greet one another in our native language especially with people whom we haven’t seen for a long time. I must admit it’s been awhile since my last blog post here, but I have a valid reason why this post never made it to my consistent #everyFridayblogpost for 3 consecutive Fridays now. Today, as of writing, it’s actually a Saturday and around 12 midnight to be exact. 😀
So hear ye, hear ye, my beloved readers. Thou shall not cover thy ears for my words will but gently pierce.
Alright, alright. Enough with the never-ending intros, Tin. lol Nope, I am not messing around with you but this is my way of setting up the mood for this article – personal, casual, light, and a journal.
So, let’s start, shall we?
If there is but one thing we all have a hard time managing in this ever-present and modern world aside from time, it is this – priorities. If there is also one of us here who never had a dilemma how to manage priorities, do shoot me an email. I’d really love to learn how you did it.
I have always been a “doer.” When I plan, I set goals. When I set goals, I make sure I am working on achieving these goals. These goals vary from short-term such as paying the bills on Thursday, etc., to long-term goals i.e. career planning, business ventures, and a whole lot of things in between. In other words, I am a multitasker.
Currently, I have so many things going on even though the past weeks were already the busiest. This includes adjusting to our new home since hubby and I recently transferred. If you can imagine all the packing and unpacking that went on and still going on, I’m sure you’ll understand. 😉 I got the hang of it, though. I believe this is the toil of man, to never fully rest until we all reach the end of our timelines in this world.
For the past two weeks, I spent it with my families – the last week of May with my biological family (Ginete family) and the 1st week of June with my in-laws (Rome family). Those weeks were hectic to the point that my Dad, who spent 78 years of his existence in the province, admitted that the city life is so fast-paced time just flies when they’re here. I can’t contest this, it’s quintessentially true. 🙂
This is, in fact, the very reason why I’d love to go back home in the province and stay there for good. This is pretty ironic to someone like me who loves doing a lot of things. I love the laidback atmosphere in the province not because I am lazy. It’s because I enjoy solitude as it calms and eases my mind.
Right now, my mind is a huge mess. I often wondered how I can manage to come up with an article while trying to balance everything. I am always prone to falling into this bad habit of workaholism. I have to constantly remind myself I won’t be able to achieve much when my body and my mind fail me.
Breathe. Take some time off. Pause.
The laidback lifestyle in the province gives us that opportunity. As a writer, there can be so many things in your head and writing them off seems like a never “good enough” solution. But praise God for the comfort of our sound-proof room now, even the drilling noise from a nearby construction site is lessened to just a whisper. *wink* I am grateful to God and my family for this great opportunity to live in a new home. 🙂
A deeper contemplation is what every writer needs. It is from the deepest recesses of our souls that the beauty of words is revealed. That is why I love midnights. I love staying awake in the wee hours of the morning. Everything is quiet. All I hear are my thoughts – loud and clear. It helps me to discern, to block distractions, and to fish those thoughts out one by one until they’re all carefully laid out.
Just like priorities.
You need to handpick them one by one so you can align them accordingly. Balance is achieved once you know what are the priorities that are particularly urgent and what are not.
So how did I manage the past week’s schedule? Maintaining balance is the key. But first, come up with what should be on top of your list and stick to it.
Here’s how mine looks:
God
Husband
Family
Career
Ministry
Image copyright: blogos.org
A word of caution here, though. Don’t confuse God and Ministry as something interchangeable. God being the top priority means your personal relationship with Him a.k.a. devotion and prayer time. The ministry is God’s calling for you how to serve His people. In my case, it is this blog.
So this, my friends, is the reason why I was hibernating from WordPress. I need to serve our families’ needs first. But I am just grateful how God orchestrated all the events that took place so beautifully and perfectly because I honored what matters to Him first.
Here’s how the events played out:
Nothing too fancy and as simple as air conditioning units installed right after my parents arrived (they won’t survive the summer heat in the metro).
Hubby and I also gave them a wedding anniversary gift in the form of Mom’s cataract surgery for a pretty discounted price (hubby’s work privileges). They are now both cataract-free and with 20/20 vision.
We were also able to spend a meaningful time with my father-in-law who’s a seafarer. Their ship passed by and stayed in the Philippines exactly the week when my sister-in-law will graduate in college.
Actually, a whole lot more of surprises took place and I can only attest that indeed, with God, nothing is impossible especially to those who believe. 🙂
Here are some of the photos with the fam bam:
(with the Ginete Family)
(with the Rome Family)
I prioritized our families over my career and yet God made a way for me to stay true to my commitment. As much as the workaholic in me would like to check emails and draft articles while on vacation, the place where my Dad-in-law’s ship was docked had no signal for mobile internet.
So, I prayed to God that if this is how He wishes things to be, may He prepare me once I get back and find out I was laid off from my job. 😀 Yes, I missed meeting the 2-article minimum for every week because I was able to write none for the entire week.
But as you all know, God is good all the time. I came back after the vacation and my employment contract is still intact and no memo came through the email. 😀 I am also grateful for my job now because I had the time to run errands for my family and attend to their needs especially with my aging parents.
Dad had one of his worst gout attacks while they’re here and seeing him crippled because of pain was too painful to watch too. It’s a good thing the practical side of me focused on what needs to be done and never focus on my emotions.
Ah yes, this is how empaths are. I believe most empaths are writers. Writers love seclusion every now and then and so are empaths. Being in a crowd often means absorbing so many emotions and it can completely bear us down. Writing helps unload those emotions when they become too heavy.
So, my family came third. God and my husband remained on the top 2. Right now, I am back to my daily grind writing articles for an ad agency. Another opportunity for a long-term project also came along plus an invitation to write articles for a faith-based website catering to an international audience. There are actually more pending collaborations with Christian writers up on the list from across the globe. These are opportunities that I am grateful for and I know God has a purpose behind them all. I believe 2018 is the year for fellowship with Christian writers from any part of the world.
Oh, and I believe this article falls in the long-form journalism category. 😀 The article runs through approximately 1,607 words. lol This can go on and on but sleep beckons, I must succumb. Hubby and I binge-watch movies yesterday since it’s a holiday. 😉
Regarding long-form writing, I was able to research a great deal about it last night out of curiosity. If you will ask me how I encountered the word, it just popped up out of the blue. I’m sure I’ve heard it somewhere and my brain recollected it just last night. I believe this is a “tugging” about a personal project I felt I needed to work on sometime in the future. Only God knows when but I already have hints.
This, I believe, can wait. The ministry requires more waiting time because it follows God’s timeline and not mine. Thus, it is the last in my priorities. God will take control of it first, I am just on the receiving end to act out when He instructed.
Personally, some events are stalled when it comes to ministry work because God is still in the process of orchestrating everything until it is completely perfect to be revealed and executed – the birth of testimonies. Just like how this blog came alive.
To end this article, when you manage your priorities, your 2nd, 3rd, or 4th priorities may differ from mine but please keep the top spot reserved consistently for only One – God. The following verse will answer your question “why.” 🙂
“But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” – Matthew 6:33
How do you manage your priorities? I would like to hear your experiences too. ❤
Indeed, August is understanding – understanding the will of God, understanding yourself and others. 🙂
At my age of 31, I can say I have been through all seasons when it comes to job opportunities in search for the one that God says as “the right one.” These decisions aren’t easy to make because I also need to value what my spouse thinks on what is best for us both.
These seasons brought me to short term employments, some even lasted for just a week, some brought me to a standstill for a long while and some lasted for a couple of years. I always seek God’s counsel on these matters because let’s admit it, giving up a job and hopping on to the next is crucial.
We all need money to survive. Getting rich, however, is a different story and something I do not fully support. Money is the root of all evil if it becomes your god and your life revolves around it. This includes anything that makes you “great” as well. It will destroy this hierarchy of priorities mandated by God:
GOD
Spouse
Children/Family
Career
Ministry
How? When we don’t find the right answers to these questions:
When was the last time you opened and read your bible consistently?
When was the last time you took a quiet time, prayed, and made it a habit?
Do you have enough time for your spouse on a regular basis?
How about for your children?
When did you last visit your parents or talked to them?
How about your siblings? When did you last check up on them?
When was the last time you attended church?
We’ve always been reminded to never place any idols before God and that anyone who disobeys will face the consequences:
“You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me,…” – Exodus 20:3-5
Are our possessions our god? Are our finances our god? Are our careers our god? Are our achievements our god? Are our children our god? Is our ministry our god?
If we fail in even one of the things I have mentioned above, we know that we are guilty. We always have to be on our guard because the enemy is always in the corner prowling around looking for that next victim to deceive. Everything may seem to be smooth sailing but little did we know that we are already heading towards destruction. If everything is going smoothly in our lives, we should already wonder.
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
There may not be any external atrocities happening on the outside but the enemy is already going for the most vulnerable spot inside you – your heart and your soul.
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” – Proverbs 4:23
As the adage goes, “A river that is quiet usually has looming falls at the end of it.”
Your heart and your soul may have remained placid but they were not given the opportunity to build a shield which is the armor of God and strengthen your faith.
The Whole Armor of God
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.
16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.” – Ephesians 6:10-18
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,and hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:3-5
Don’t be tempted to get that next promotion or for that next “big thing” to add to your resume or attach at the end of your name right away. Don’t be tempted to sign that 6-digit salary or the millions that you’re being asked to take without confirming the responsibilities attached to it. Don’t be tempted to say “yes” to any promise of a better life other than the gift of salvation.
No, don’t be tempted with these things. That next promotion might be a temptation to spend less time with your spouse and family or a temptation to sacrifice your own health and wellness. That 6-digit salary might tempt you to drown yourself in the physical pleasures of this world which equate to even more worldly temptation.That promise of a better life might be masked in the form of easy money and the black market.
Review your priorities instead (single or married), ask for God’s leading, seek His counsel, and pray for discernment towards the right path.
If you will ask me why, then consider the following:
Why is quality time with God important?The Scripture will guard your heart against any temptation. This will prepare you for any trial you’ll go through. Thus, it is the #1 priority.
Why is quality time with the spouse important? Marriage is a holy matrimony, it is also a room for the enemy to attack you or your spouse with temptations. Communication is important between a married couple. If you are too tired to even ask what went on in your spouse’s day, it might be too late when you realize your spouse is drifting away from you and eventually leads to a divorce.
Why is it important to spend time with your kids? Your kids will only be young once. They will appreciate the time you’ve spent with them more than the toys or gadgets you gifted them when they grow older. The percentage of depressed teens are getting higher every year. You don’t want them to end up growing up a teenage rebel or being with the wrong group of friends just because their parents are always “absent.” It is as important to your child that you become his/her first best friend other than just being a parent.
Why should you not place money as the top priority?Money is the root of all evil. It sparks jealousy, greed, selfishness, death, among all other negative things.
I am not a licensed counselor but I have learned these nuggets of wisdom from mentors who went through the same thing and shared their experiences, combined with my own personal experience as well as knowledge lifted from my graduate study which is special education.
You might add that they are all a case-to-case basis but consider this verse:
“What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.” -Ecclesiastes 3:15
If you are to ask me why, this might suffice as an answer:
“And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear Him.” – Ecclesiastes 3:14
Going back to all those career shifts, I can say that I have met wonderful people who have touched my life. I’ve learned a great deal of wisdom from them and formed a special bond through the memories and experiences we’ve shared which I am forever grateful.
On the one hand, I have touched their lives as well one way or the other and continue to influence as they add me on social media, check out my profiles or read my blog articles (oh, it’s you). 😀
I never viewed it as a waste of time, this shifting of careers, though it brought me to a slight and temporary instability in my priorities, marriage, finances, etc. as seasons change.
But no, I remained steadfast because I am clinging to a Rock and I know I have a God who is forever faithful. I viewed these instead as a time of GREAT TESTING.
How? It is only in times of drought and famine that your faith in God is truly tested. It will answer the question “how far are you willing to trust God with your whole life?”
So much of this testing didn’t test my character alone but it also built the foundations of my marriage and refined the characters of the people around me too. They, too, have learned to rely on God along the way.
I have always relied in the TRUTH that God is the ONLY ONE who provides for all our needs from finances to material things; who gives us a career; who provides our salaries; who closes one door of opportunity and opens another; who keeps things steady though everything may be shaky; who keeps my marriage intact; who binds the relationships I have with others; and who reminds me of my priorities.
What matters is we stayed obedient to His instructions, obeyed His laws, and pursued His will and plans for our lives all throughout.
As I write this journal entry, all I can ever see are the lives of those great people recounted in the bible who withstood all trials because of their unwavering faith even to the point of death: Daniel; Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; David; Joseph; Job; among many others.
They say it takes fire to yield a beautiful sword ready for battle. Without fire, the sword will be blunt – ineffective and of no use. Yet it also takes the time to forge a sword. It takes effort and a great force to yield it. On the other hand, too much heat will cause it to melt.
As a young professional, you’ll receive so much of this fire which could either destroy you or mold you. Choose, however, to consult God’s plans over your life more than being dissuaded by what this world expects and wants from you.
Do not break away from the vine, cling to it. Let God use the fire to mold you for a better purpose. But never let the enemy use it to consume you and head for destruction.
In the end, it is important to keep in mind that even when you have to close a hundred doors and open a thousand, it still is God who decides what is the best door to keep open. You’ll never really know in which seasons will God forge you to become one of His mightiest swords. But, learn to trust Him instead. 🙂
Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
As my spiritual mentor and Victory group leader said with her life verse and God’s promise:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
❤
For this article, here’s a video from Hillsong that’s one of my all-time favorite Christian songs:
So my Mom and I had a serious heart-to-heart talk about some things especially about my graduate study. It’s been taking far too long years are passing by fast and it seems I haven’t done anything productive at all nor made significant improvements not just in it but in my life in general.
So questions like what are your plans, what do you want to do now, where do you want to be when you get older, etc. came popping up.
Truth is, I wasn’t totally pleased with how my life has faired throughout these years. To most people it seems like I have wasted 6 years to nothing. But I think I am going to take back that word “displeased” because doing a self-assessment, I am happier in those 6 years wherein I am in a limbo and in shambles or I thought I was.
First and most importantly, I found God along the way – I was born again. Second, I found love in this world and my better half unexpectedly – I got married. Lastly, a lot of changes happened internally – major heart reconstruction. These 3 are now my priorities which I was called to serve first.
So my Mom went on, “As parents we only wanted what is best for all of you and your siblings, a better and more successful life.”
I do appreciate this kind of love from my parents. I know when I become a parent I wanted what is best for my kids too.
She continued, “If you wanted to have a simple life though, nothing is wrong with that.”
Now this I loved from her even more. So I smiled and agreed:
“Yes Mommy, that is all I ever wanted in this life. I actually wanted to go back home in our province and raise my family there if God wills it. We wouldn’t have these ideals and values in life if it wasn’t for the humble beginnings of you and Dad in which you have raised us all. City life has far too much temptations and is way complicated.
I want my kids to have the same values and ideals in life too and I think I won’t be able to do that if they will grow up seeing that Brian and I pursue what this world offers as the meaning of success like wealth, possessions, achievements and titles.”
A “higher” and more successful position/career requires more time at work and more work load. This is practically what graduate studies are for – promotion at work and/or career advancement. I may be earning much and I now have a title that society declares as prestigious but I have less time with my family because either I am too tired when I get home, I am bringing work at home or I have longer working hours in the office. My kids will only be young once and my husband is my top priority next to God.
Then memories of the day I had my altar call which was during the Singles’ Getaway in church back in year 2012 reminded me once again about what Pastor Dennis Sy discussed regarding priorities. He shared an experience between him and his wife who wanted to pursue her dream to become a medical doctor.
What he said made a mark in me as well (paraphrased already),
“Your degree/profession won’t be able to hug you in times that you are sad nor will it be beside you in times of trouble. But I can.”
She chose to let go. Priorities-wise, when we are called to be married and have families, they are to be on top. Indeed, these are the sacrifices that born-again spouses and parents have to make when it comes to priorities. I have read an article (I couldn’t exactly remember the title) by Mrs. Marie Bonifacio, wife of Pastor Joey, regarding the hierarchy of priorities: God, spouse, family, career and ministry.
A great reminder. ❤
I love God, I love my spouse and I love my family – these are what matters in my case now. My career will have to come next and maybe my other ambitions will have to fade away. I am still seeking for God’s direction in this area though, a period of patiently waiting and enduring.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” – Matthew 6:34
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7
There are those who were called to a life of leadership and excellence in the corporate world and professional industry among men and women alike. There are also those who were called to serve the ministry. There are those too who were called to serve their families. These are just some of the areas we were called to serve and we all fall in either of those categories one way or the other.
I believe this is the season that God is slowly clearing the view from obstacles so I could walk the path straight and yet asking me to get even closer and more in tune with Him. I trust God that He will guide me and my future family according to His plans. It may mean denying myself what this world offers at this point going against the norm and maybe going against the wishes of many which can be heartbreaking but I know in the end it will all glorify God.
I am, in fact, happier where God has put me now as long as it gives Him all the Glory and Honor He deserves. 🙂
“Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:6
P.S.
This might be my last post for this year or for a couple more years even (only God knows) because I am planning to do a social media hibernation in most of my social media accounts for I don’t know how long as part of my personal prayer and fasting. There is so much I need to pray for in my life including my current health condition, my family, my country and this world and I need to seek for God’s will and instructions without distractions and temptations just like what Jesus did.
So I am temporarily ending my 4-year activity in blogosphere and passing on the baton to the new generation of faith-based bloggers. Today’s the 4th year anniversary of this blog too and I got this notification the other day about reaching 500 readers who stayed patient enough in reading this faith-based blog. Kind of a great way to end a season, eh? *wink* I believe this particular season has come to a temporary halt and God is calling me to a new season, a new task. Who knows, I might be back in just a week. lol 😀
( To God be all the Glory!)
But I am definitely sure I will be reconnected with you all again in God’s perfect time. So ciao for now my dear readers. Keep praying, keep on blogging and keep the faith always! ❤ 🙂
The Journeyman's Moments 