Tag Archives: prayer

The Solitary Confinement

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princess

(Photo credit: princesswarrior.bravejournal.com)

Out of desolation, out of despair,
A want to escape the devil’s snare.

A heart that bleeds, a heart that weeps,
Wishing a love that is for keeps.

You searched, you groped.
Now hoping you have coped.

Tried to give in and tried to give up,
Half empty, half full – like in a cup.

Now you wonder, now you question.
I need my Savior, He can’t abandon.

For that is my comfort, He is my wisdom,
Overflowing peace, that is His Kingdom.

To love is to feel, to bleed is to heal.
To die is to live, to know what is real.

The Cross bears it, in our every call.
He died for us, to live and have it all.

His Kingdom’s riches, beyond silver and gold,
For everyone’s keeping, may you be young and old.

The everlasting hope, now in your hand,
Are we to take it or let it slip like the sand?

So I remembered, so I’m comforted.
A loving Father, dearly and beloved.

For in my desolation, I can only savor that moment,
To be in His arms, my solitary confinement.

***This is my very first poem that I wrote summarizing my faith and my spiritual journey since I got saved last 3/13/13. Praise be to God for the gift of words. If you have the gift of words too, may this inspire you to make more literature that will honor and glorify His Name. 🙂

A Prayerful 2015

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“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12

In every crusade, the knights engage in periods of time preparing for a victorious battle. In driving, you buckle up for safety. In school, you study so you will graduate. In almost every action, there is always a plan. But in life, how do you prepare?

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” – Proverbs 19:21

I bet this verse will remind us that not even us have the capability to completely prepare ourselves for what the future holds. As I enter this year, I realized I have so many in my hands right now that sometimes I feel as if I am drowning in a sea of opportunities, things to do and decisions. A swirling sea that seems endless with no beginning and yet no ending.

Decisions. Life can never be “life” without them. Each and every single day we decide, we choose. We choose what we will eat today, what we will wear tomorrow, what to ride today, etc. And yes, oftentimes we worry, we fret. Forgetting that God told us this:

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?…“- Matthew 6:25-26

Ah yes, Father. I am a worrier, full of doubts. Would any of you be right then if you assumed that I have no trust at all? Could be. But by God’s Grace I am still here worshiping, because His love never fails. For all throughout the changing seasons, He was there to guide me and usher me towards where I should be heading. Slowly learning to surrender and build the trust bit by bit, letting go of the world and slowly embracing more of Him each and every single day.

But it wasn’t smooth sailing. Conflicts, rage, heartaches, headaches, pain, sorrow, regret…have I made the wrong decisions?

And yet I was pacified with this:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

And also this:

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” – James 1:6

I believe I can no longer give in to the shadow of doubts and affliction but believe in the power of prayers and surrendering to His mighty will. Yes, God’s will and His plans prevail. They always do. And that is the Good News. To hope is to trust. I guess that’s what it is to have faith. 🙂

Thus, I pray:

Oh Mighty Father, if we have acted upon our own free will in the past and failed, may You continue to guide us and make things right as we surrender to Your plans instead of ours. We pray that as plans shift, may You continue to touch and guard the hearts of those who will be affected. May You cover all the pain, remove all the hurt and bless us with forgiveness, acceptance, peace and love. And above it all, we will continue to hold on to the beautiful promises that You have for us until Your work in us is complete. Teach us to be patient, teach us to be calm. Considering that in all that we do and in all that we say, we will claim victory in Jesus’ Mighty Name. Amen.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Flowers and Hearts – Love is Enough

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Sonya's Garden

Sonya’s Garden

This pot of flowers is not your ordinary pot. Why? Because what makes these flowers fascinating to me and special is the idea that they have stayed fresh though they have been picked out from their stems and now floating in what I call a temporary life support system – the pool of water. 🙂

Which made me think of love.

“How can you love if you are afraid to fall?” 

Nah, I am not going to talk about the sweet moments just like how love articles are all about. I am going to talk about the other side of love – when you fall. That is, the pain in loving caused by none other than the conflicts.

Conflicts are experienced by all who is in a relationship. Even married Christian couples go through conflicts. I, for one, experienced a conflict at the onset of our relationship. Well, the enemy does not choose a particular timeline nor a particular couple to attack. Everyone gets their own dose.

But I will not be talking of conflicts here in a manner wherein I regard them as a failure. In fact, I just want to share how these conflicts helped me and my boyfriend build my faith in God and establish trust in our relationship.

Now, TRUST is my biggest waterloo. I feared it. I have no courage to have it. Most especially in relationships. Doubts are my greatest enemy.

I almost came close to giving up because of constantly having doubts and not having trust. The reason why I came close to giving up is because I did not trust God fully that He will always be there to guide us in the relationship.

Until I came to a realization whether I should let the conflicts ruin or build my faith. God has a reason why He gave you that person to love. It is up to you if you are to accept it as something good or bad. Differences will always be present because no two persons are ever the same. There will be personal struggles in keeping the purity and holiness intact inside the premises of the relationship. Temptations will be on the rise.

But then, we all love happy endings and yet we know too that love stories are never complete without the trials and suffering. In fact, they are what makes the ending happy, when you come out victorious over them by constantly asking God for guidance and protection.

But the question still remains: Will you let the enemy win?

I cannot. I cannot let my doubts, the conflicts and personal struggles ruin the beautiful promises that God has for our relationship. I have to trust God so I can gain trust in the relationship. Believe that it is not you or your boyfriend/husband who will run the relationship but it is God who will be the center of it. Continue to grow and learn from mistakes and strive to be at the right path.

Most of all, choose God and choose love. If you love the person who is willing to do everything for you, you know what to do with that love as how God would want you to.  Cherish it. It is God’s love that saved us all through His son Jesus Christ freeing us from the chains of our sins.

I am extremely grateful to God for having this relationship. It is God’s blessing that I was given a man who has an open mind and a willing, teachable heart patient enough to understand. Who chose to encourage than condemn, who chose to be gentle than to offend, who chose to be relenting than be stern, who chose to accept than judge. But most importantly, a man who chose to love and follow God than give up.

(I will always be grateful to you, baby. Thank you and I love you so much!)

As I end this article, I would like to leave two quotations – first would be what I learned from the Love Series of Victory entitled It’s Not That Complicated and the other, a bible verse.

“Love will not be complicated if we understand that love is a decision and not just an emotion.”

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Like the flowers floating in a pool of water, loving requires the decision and the need to stay afloat though circumstances would posit you to be out of your comfort zone, out of your original life support system. The relationship is the flower and love is the water that feeds the relationship, that nourishes it.

Yes, decide that love is enough. That God is more than enough. 🙂

Broken Nigel: The Real Story Behind The Lens

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Broken Nigel

Broken Nigel

It happened a few hours before New Year. New Year’s Eve it is, a few hours before the clock struck 12 signifying the start of a new year – 2013. I never thought that it would happen. The camera has been with me for two years.

Yes, Nigel is my dslr camera. I have always loved photography and it was only recently that I have decided to start taking photos and make it as a full time hobby. Full time hobby would mean using the camera as often as I could at any given time. It served as an avenue for me to recover from a painful past.

Came our family outing wherein I was excited enough to capture the moments. It was a swimming event and everybody was busy carrying a lot of picnic stuff.

Then the unexpected happened.

We were on our way home, I was seated at the back beside my niece and I unintentionally placed the camera on top of the bags without tying the sling to the head rest of the back seat.

I didn’t hear nor feel “danger signals” at that moment and it was already too late to realize it when before I could go out of the car, “blag!” There goes my camera falling and rolling onto the pavement. My brother and Dad were both aghast when they picked up the camera. And yes, I am to blame. I was too confident that nothing will happen to my camera as I was always too cautious making sure that it is on the safe spot where it won’t get wet, where it won’t fall, etc. But you can never let your guard down, as they say.

So yes, that was the first “strike” on my camera. The LCD was broken. And I feared the worst – the camera will not be able to withstand the fall it won’t turn on anymore. But I was thankful though because the camera is inside the case and it cushioned the fall. It was the corner of the guard for the camera strap placed on top of the LCD that caused it to crack. It did turn on. And that was something I am so grateful for.

A week before I went home to Bicol, I bought an LCD cover for the camera. For almost 2 years I haven’t thought about purchasing one just until last year.  Little did I know that this gut feeling/inner voice that urged me to do so is actually God trying to tell me in preparation for something big that’s going to happen.

Then a week after that, a relationship with someone very dear to me was severed. Emotional ties were tested up to the limit. It got broken too. That was a week after the incident with my camera happened. So now I was dealing with two things: an intangible and tangible one. And there’s one thing that they both have in common – both are broken. My next question then was, “why?” What is the significance of the two events? Most especially, what was God’s purpose why He made them happen?

Then it came to me that yes, both were meant to be broken. Why? I grew up to be complacent, taking things as they are, letting things stay as they are, unaware and unsuspecting of any danger. I was taken off guard, so to speak. I wasn’t able to fix both before leaving Bicol. Then there came the annual Prayer Fasting in our church. It started exactly the day when I arrived from Bicol carrying with me the “broken” stuff. The Prayer and Fasting placed me in that moment of thinking things through, asking for forgiveness, and talking to God regarding these matters.

Yes, both incidents were meant to happen upon my leaving Bicol. God reminded me what are the things needed to be “fixed” which I have started to be complacent about and start praying for it during the Prayer and Fasting. Yes, that is how amazing our God is. He leads us to the path where we should rightfully head. He sees the “strains” and the “burden” that we will carry if we do not take action and just let things dwindle along.

I went through all the hassle of having my camera checked up and was thankful when I found out that I don’t have to pay thousands and thousands of pesos to have it fixed. It was only the external LCD that was broken. Whew! Thanks to the LCD protector that I bought a week before my camera fell. It was the one thing that prevented the shock from penetrating to the interiors of the camera. It also prevented the LCD glass from shattering and falling into pieces. It was the one thing that basically held everything together.

The same thing happened to the relationship. I prayed for healing during the Prayer and Fasting. I asked for forgiveness and have sworn to let go of my pride, accept my mistakes and apologize. Yes, I may not be able to fix the relationship totally but because of God, He prevented the relationship from shattering completely into pieces. Because when that happens, it would be beyond repair.

The camera was fixed; the relationship was also fixed.

I am more than grateful to God for giving me the guidance and the discernment to follow what He wants me to do. Moreover, I am more than glad I have made the move to obey and trust Him. God is the one thing that held everything together even until now.  He made it all possible so that things would be at the right track, almost perfect, and I may be at peace. More or less. 🙂

That Moment of Pure Bliss

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Today, I woke up doing my same old routine – feed the kittens, fix my bed, read the Bible and pray.

What was unusual with this day though was this – while praying, I cried. It can’t be my PMS as I just had my girl thing a week ago. Nor is it because I was tired yesterday. Or because I was sad, lonely, angry or any of those “feeling down” moments and “emo” days.

I think it was that pure bliss of having my quiet time alone with God. That time when I talk to Him as if He is in front of me, thank Him for making things possible, for the beauty of life despite struggles, failures and pain. That moment of deeper understanding why things happen, why you meet certain people and feel certain emotions with them, why you have to make certain decisions and do certain things.

But why cry over them? I had no idea at first. I just remembered thinking I should go over my Preparing for Victory and One to One booklets once again to reread what my VG leader, Sheryl and I have discussed to uplift my spirits. It was only then that the thought started to sink in – I was caught up in a whirlwind of events for the past weeks and months, to make me appreciate a lot of things in preparation for an event I almost forgot – March 2 and 3 are my very special dates with my Creator.

But then again, why cry on a Monday? It was God’s way of reminding me that it is supposed to be my week of quiet time with Him in preparation for this coming weekend. I was meant to cry today, according to His plans. 😀

Yes, God prepared me well, indeed. 😉