Living Without Fear

Everyday we are constantly bombarded with worries that already became natural of us – a bad habit actually.

I grew up with a lot of fears. I was brought up shielded in the comforts of our own home as a child knowing so little of the world outside. When I grew older, I brought it with me and it reflected in the decisions I make and have made.

So for now, allow me to categorize my fears according to my past, present and future:

Past

1. How will I be able to relinquish from it?
2. How can I keep it from affecting my present and future?
3. What if my past mistakes will be made known?
4. What if they continue to haunt me?

Present

1. What if one of these days I found out my partner cheated on me for the last couple of years that we were together?
2. What if I didn’t accomplish much before I get old?
3. What if I don’t bear children?
4. Am I credible enough to share the Gospel knowing that I am not perfect?

Future

1. What if I could not protect my children from the evil forces of this world and the negative influences?
2. What if I lose everything I have?
3. Will I be admitted in heaven when I die?

Those questions posit an image of me cowering in fear. If I am to illustrate it, it would look like this:

It is a bubble thought that is too huge it makes you feel smaller and smaller every minute that you think of it. And then when the weight becomes too unbearable, you now ask this:

“What can I do?”

Honestly, there is so little that we can do when it comes to our fears. For rereading those questions, you will realize that they don’t and cannot give us certain answers. That is, if what you mean by acting on it is finding a practical solution for it that you could apply.

As a born again Christian now, I still feel those nagging fears creeping inside me every now and then. I have mentioned before that worrying is a bad habit to break. And yet the only difference before and now when it comes to handling my fears is that I have a more grounded source of hope every time they start to get the best part of me by connecting with God through a prayer and the Scripture.

Allowing your fears to take control of you will only get you that far in life. It limits you, it takes the life out of you. Thus, in my social media accounts and even in my phone, this photo will sum up how it feels to live without fear and what you need to live that way. When I see it everyday, it assures me, it secures me and it gives me hope.

Nothing in this world is ever in our control – not even our own life. And it will stay that way for as long as we live. We are the ship, God is the captain who will steer us across waves of doubt and storms of fear and bring us to a place of peace. 🙂

And this verse will sum this all up:

John 1:5 NLT

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”

Positivity: Breaking The Spiritual Warfare

“It only has just begun.”

How often do we hear this statement after our surrender and moment of salvation?

Yes, it always is a victorious feat upon an encounter with the Lord, Jesus Christ. A turning point but in actuality, a never ending battle. A believer’s journey never ends in the water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit.

In fact, allow me to provide a brief run-down why every spiritual journey is like a horse shoe.

1. Life is not storm-free.

  • God intended for us to be prepared by making our lives a storm-proof life by giving us His armor and shield – the hope that we cling to through the Cross.

2. The enemy is always at work too.

  • Salvation is breaking free from the stronghold of the dark forces, our evil self, the common nature of our past.

3. Not everyone will believe what you say.

  • This is the moment of persecution and rejection that every believer must face when sharing his testimony and being bold about faith.

4. Prayers do go unanswered.

  • Blessings may come but they may not be in the form of how you expected them to be. There is sometimes a deafening silence from God every time you pray.

But….

There is one gift that we all could use in keeping balance with what I have mentioned above and that is free will. But free will never go unrestrained, for that is not how God meant it to be used. It only means that we have a choice in doing the right thing that is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord within the limits of faith and Christianity and in accordance to God’s will still. God wanted us to choose Him, to seek Him and that we will use the gift He has given us in doing exactly that.

It is a spiritual warfare that we, Christians and believers, deal with every single day. And I believe it is in this warfare that we have to use our free will to choose positivity by hoping on the message of the Cross. Day by day, it is a struggle. Without a positive outlook, all hopes are gone. Neither can we withstand the trials of faith and none will survive the warfare without it.

There is a time to be low but there is such a thing as resiliency. Bounce back if you must and higher this time around. It doesn’t matter how many times you have bounced, just make you sure you bounce back higher every time until you finally reach your goal – mission accomplished.

Now that is the positive spirit – breaking one barrier at a time, every time. 🙂

Typhoon Yolanda Reminder: As A Filipino, I Will Always Be A Christian Bicolana

In light of the recent calamity that killed thousands of people in the Visayas and Mindanao regions affecting several  neighboring provinces including my hometown in Bicol here in the Philippines and as a Filipino, I would like to ask for your support, in any way that you possibly can, for the victims of the super typhoon Yolanda.

Please visit this link for a list of legitimate organizations/relief centers where you could send in your donations: http://www.wheninmanila.com/verified-legit-ways-to-help-super-typhoon-haiyan-yolanda-victims-how-to-donate-or-volunteer-with-legitimate-organizations/.

Or if you cannot, please join us in praying for our fellow countrymen. We, the Filipinos, will be extremely grateful for any help and support that you could offer.

To my dear fellow Filipinos, though we may have severely suffered, rest in the fact that we are never alone in this. We will rise and rise we will with the help of our fellow brothers and sisters from all around this world. Despite the adversities that have brought us down to our knees, our kindred spirits will remain to be strong and steadfast. Our cries for plea, our tears for our losses, our battered and tired bodies – it is our strong spirits that will never falter.

I pray that through these all, may the Lord God Almighty continue to shower us with His love, protection, guidance and provisions.

Continue to hope, continue to pray, continue to strive in finding the good in what was left – again, we are never alone.

May God bless us all!

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Wherever God would take me, whatever God would give me, I will bring with me two identities: first, I am a Christian and second, I am a Bicolana.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

I can never be more proud of anything I have and whoever I have become other than those two I have mentioned.

Why a Christian? I am nothing and nobody without my God, first and foremost. My identity is in Him. I need not say more as it is what it already is.

Why a Bicolana then? Ahh, this is most likely where I’ll be explaining more.

I grew up in the province. I spent more than half of my life there. As of writing, that is. There’s no other place that I could ever call ‘home’ except Bulan. Yes, that is my hometown, specifically located in the south of Luzon island, Sorsogon City, Philippines.

Bulan, Sorsogon

Bulan, Sorsogon

It has a distance of 667 kilometres (414 mi) from Manila, 63 kilometres (39 mi) from the province’s capital Sorsogon City, 20 kilometres (12 mi) from the town of Irosin and 30 kilometres (19 mi) from the town of Matnog. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulan,_Sorsogon)

Sorsogon City is a coastal area, surrounded by beaches of all sand color. From white, to pink, to black –  you name it, we have it. Rich of natural resources, fishing and farming have been the sources of livelihood of almost all the Bulanons (that’s how we generally call ourselves).

Fishing

Fishing

If there is one value that being a Bicolana has taught me, it would be this – knowing your roots. In other words, learn to look back from your humble beginnings. Bulan is the one thing that has taught me how it is to be humble and to be grateful. Humility bespeaks when the heart is in awe of the mediocre. I know you are going to agree with me right there.

I came from a family of farmers. My parents, my grandparents and the parents before them all came from humble beginnings. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. Gratitude is what I could offer to my ancestors, for the sacrifices and hard work that they have invested in providing the best for their families.

I came from a generation wherein I don’t have to go to the fields and do the farming myself and go home with sweaty clothes covered in mud just to pay for all of my expenses and supply my needs. An experience I never had to go through and yet something that I would want to go through.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

They say that for someone to appreciate the value of something less than its market value and more of its sentimental value, you have to work for it and have it like how it is usually done and achieved. You have to sweat it out, so to speak.

I was listening to the podcast of Pastor Christian Flores regarding Victory’s new series entitled “It’s Not About The Money” two Sundays ago and he mentioned about the story of a farmer and how this farmer has invested his earnings in acquiring an even bigger barn where he could store more which actually resulted to his own destruction.

That made me thought about our farm, our farmers and what do we really get from it. For starters, our farm house did not change though how many years and decades have passed, we are earning just enough, we are still living frugal lives though we have acquired some possessions through time – still, I think it is not about the money. Money, for us, is something that has to do with survival but never to accumulate great wealth and live grandiose, rich lives.

I might be speaking out of righteousness here but if you will personally ask me, that is how I think it should be. I do not wish to dwell on this matter then and will just leave all the explaining to our Pastors as they lead us on with the series – a reason for you to stay tuned for our upcoming podcasts or better yet visit a nearby Victory church: http://victory.org.ph/. (Sorry for the shameless plugging, but I felt you would understand it better if the explaining would come from our church leaders).

victoryqc.org

victoryqc.org

This is the season of harvesting and when I went home during the holidays last November 1 and 2, I chanced upon the last harvest in our farm. I have skin asthma and as much as I should be staying away from hay, I know it would not stop me from going along with my Dad. I suffered the consequences later on – cough got worse and itchy rashes came out that last for usually a week leaving black spots on your skin that last for about how many months.

Anyway, the last time I have been with my Dad during harvesting was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I could still remember how our parents would ask us (not really me as I was way too young, but my sisters and brother) to help in drying the “palay” we have harvested so they would be sold to the millers for a good price before they sell it to the market.

And yes, how could I forget all the scurrying here and there, to and fro when dark clouds come and heavy rains start to pour. It only means sweeping the grains, piling and covering them up as FAST as you can to prevent them from getting wet, thus lowering the chances of getting a low price as “palay” buyers measure the moisture content of the rice grains. The drier the grain is, the higher its market value.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

My Dad is not a farmer per se. He is a civil engineer who juggled two occupations at the same time – that of a farmer and a superintendent at the National Irrigation Administration in the Bicol region (officially at San Ramon, OIC in Masbate and Sorsogon City). He is now 74 years old, retired from his engineering career and yet a continuing farmer. I have always admired my Dad, how at his age, still manages to do what he would always do at the farm despite his arthritis, gout attacks, hypertension, cataract and other illnesses of the aged. Although we don’t dry the harvested rice grains anymore to lessen the stress level of all the scurrying and hurrying, tending the farm is still a busy work to do.

I went to the farm with my Dad not to harvest the grains myself and have them threshed out but witness how it is usually done. I have to get into the particulars as to how to do this and that. Well, I might consider farming as my job someday. Yes, “Tin” the farm girl. *wink* I think I heard my Kuya’s sarcastic chuckle back there again. Haha Yeah, right. And yes, I wanted to observe how our farmers do it – our trusted and loyal workers. I admired them more than I have admired an office employee (no offense to office workers). But hard labor is no easy job. Exposed in the heat of the sun, bending over for hours either planting rice seedlings or harvesting them, soaked in mud or inhaling the itchy hay dust when threshing are, for me, among the most challenging tasks.

I closely looked at all of them. I saw Tio Digoy and Tio Kadog – they are the oldest among all of them. They have been working for my Dad since I was a kid. Now, their sons are working for us as well. I have learned to love them for all that they have put up for me and my family. I am praying that someday, through us, their sons, daughters and grandchildren will have a better future because of their parents and grandparents’ hard work. Though that means we might lose workers in our farms, it would also be equivalent to giving everyone the chance to have better lives than what they have now.

I am praying too that someday, there will no longer be a need for manual labor and everything will be run by machines, operated in a clean office from planting to harvesting rice. And that goes as well for harvesting coconuts and converting them into copra. The team of Tio Digoy also does them for us. Skilled, they really are. My family and I will always be grateful to them. We will always be grateful to Him for any blessing that He has bestowed as well as for His guidance and protection not just to me and my family but to our workers and their families as well.

Coconuts being made into copra.

Coconuts being made into copra.

So if you think this is what I do in Bicol:

Think again, because this is what I usually do:

"Tin, The Farm Girl"

“Tin, The Farm Girl”

Well, aside from washing the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the pets, etc. and having a little vacation time. We have no helpers/”yayas” back home and here in Manila, by the way.

Now, that is who I really am. Look back, give back  and be grateful.

Filipino Governance: Democracy is No Longer an Option

Or so I thought.

With the issues at hand in the current political system and governance, I can no longer stay mum and just ‘do my part.’  Sentiments of irate citizens are everywhere. If I am to say now that you join me in praying for our leaders and our country and leave it all to that, most likely I will also have a piece of the pork used in the Million People March at Luneta last August 26 thrown at me.

Yes, I understand. A social upheaval against the government means only one thing – it is a call for action. It is time for the public to learn from the consequences of vote buying, of previous officials charged of graft and corruption being reelected in office to just being plain forgiving. Mistakes are repeatedly committed because no one was ever convicted guilty of graft and corruption and has been justly punished for it.

The irony of it all is this – we, Filipinos, are being punished for having the ‘soft’ culture. Is it my conscience that is urging me to speak out and condemn? No, a conscience that goes far beyond my not voting during elections for a decade already. I never cared, it never mattered. My one single vote for a good official is nothing compared to the millions who voted for the wrong ones.

Red

Red

Red symbolizes love and passion yet it also symbolizes rage and war.

I raise red.

A love-hate relationship with my country and my countrymen. But I am a Filipino, I have a ‘soft,’ forgiving heart. I live in the Philippines, it is a democratic country. I am bound by the societal rules but I follow one ruler – God. I chose to pray, to live well and do what I can do in my own little way. How? By asking God through a prayer to lead me to what it is that He would want me to do for me to be able to help.  I will wait for His instructions. How will you know? You will know. All you have to do is trust God and Him alone.

Whatever the results of the investigation will be, I will continue doing what is good for this country through the Lord’s guidance. I will not just sit and wait for legislators to do their jobs. I will do my job as well as a citizen – not just by paying the taxes alone but extending help to those who may be directly or indirectly affected by the inconsistencies and irregularities in our current political system. Share what you know to help your fellow countrymen.

I say, ACT NOW.