Tag Archives: nature

The Christian From Bicol

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(This is an excerpt from this post I wrote back in November 2013 during Typhoon Yolanda. I thought this particular content deserves to have its own separate article with a different title this time.)

Wherever God would take me, whatever God would give me, I will bring with me two identities: first, I am a Christian, and second, I am a Bicolana.

I can never be prouder of anything I have and whoever I have become other than those two I have mentioned above.

Why a Christian? I am nothing and nobody without my God, first and foremost. My identity is in Him, and I believe I need not say more as it is what it already is. 🙂

Why a Bicolana then? Ahh, this is most likely where I’ll be explaining more.

I grew up in the province. I spent more than half of my life there. As of writing, that is. There’s no other place that I could ever call ‘home’ except Bulan. Yes, that is my hometown, a small town in the province of Sorsogon somewhere in the southernmost part of Luzon.

Sorsogon consists mostly of coastal areas surrounded by beaches of all sand colors from white, pink, to black –  you name it, we have it. Rich in natural resources, fishing and farming have been the sources of livelihood with almost all the Bulanons (that’s how we generally call ourselves).

Fishing

Fishing

If there is one value that being a Bicolana has taught me, it would be this – knowing your roots. In other words, learn to look back from your humble beginnings. Bulan is the one thing that has taught me how it is to be humble and to be grateful. Humility bespeaks when the heart is in awe of the mediocre. I know you are going to agree with me right there.

I came from a family of farmers. My parents, my grandparents, and the parents before them all came from humble beginnings. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them. Gratitude is what I could offer to my ancestors for the sacrifices and hard work that they have invested in providing the best for their families.

I came from a generation wherein I didn’t have to go to the fields and do the farming myself, and go home with sweaty clothes covered in mud just to pay for all of my expenses and supply my needs. An experience I never had to go through, and yet something that I would want to go through.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles, and my grandparents.

They say that for someone to appreciate the value of something less than its market value and more of its sentimental value, you have to work hard for it and have it like how it is usually done and achieved. You have to sweat it out, so to speak.

I was listening to the podcast of Pastor Christian Flores regarding Victory’s new series entitled “It’s Not About The Money” two Sundays ago, and he mentioned the story of a farmer and how this farmer had invested his earnings in acquiring an even bigger barn where he could store more, which actually resulted in his own destruction.

That made me think about our farm, our farmers, and what we really get from it. For starters, our farmhouse did not change, though many years and decades have passed. We are earning just enough, and we are still living frugal lives, though we have acquired some possessions through time – still, I think it is not about the money. Money, for us, is something that has to do with survival, but never to accumulate great wealth and live grandiose, rich lives.

I might be speaking out of righteousness here, but if you will personally ask me, that is how I think it should be. I do not wish to dwell on this matter then and will just leave all the explaining to our Pastors as they lead us on with the series – a reason for you to stay tuned for our upcoming podcasts or better yet visit a nearby Victory church: http://victory.org.ph/. (Sorry for the shameless plugging, but I felt you would understand it better if the explaining would come from our church leaders).

victoryqc.org

victoryqc.org

This is the season of harvesting, and when I went home during the holidays last November 1 and 2, I chanced upon the last harvest in our farm. I have skin asthma, and as much as I should be staying away from hay, I know it would not stop me from going along with my Dad. I suffered the consequences later on – my cough got worse, and itchy rashes came out that lasted for about a week, leaving black spots on my skin, which then stayed on for about how many months.

The last time I was with my Dad during harvesting was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I could still remember how our parents would ask us (not really me, as I was way too young, but my sisters and brother) to help in drying the “palay”  we had harvested so they could be sold to the millers for a good price before they then sell it to the market.

Yes, how could I really forget all the scurrying here and there, to and fro, when dark clouds come, and heavy rains start to pour. It only means sweeping the grains, piling and covering them up as FAST as you can to prevent them from getting wet, thus lowering the chances of getting a low price as “palay”  buyers measure the moisture content of the rice grains. The drier the grain is, the higher its market value.

Palay

Threshing of palay.

My Dad is not a farmer per se. He is a civil engineer who juggled two occupations at the same time – that of a farmer and a superintendent at the National Irrigation Administration in the Bicol region (officially at San Ramon, OIC in Masbate and Sorsogon City). He is now 74 years old, retired from his engineering career, and yet a continuing farmer. I have always admired my Dad, who, at his age, still manages to do what he would always do at the farm despite his arthritis, gout attacks, hypertension, cataract, and other illnesses of the aged. Although we don’t dry the harvested rice grains anymore to lessen the stress level of all the scurrying and hurrying, tending the farm is still a lot of busy work to do.

I went to the farm with my Dad not to harvest the grains myself and have them threshed out but witness how it is usually done. I have to get into the particulars as to how to do this and that. Well, I might consider farming as my job someday. Yes, “Tin”  the farm girl. *wink*  I think I heard my Kuya’s sarcastic chuckle back there again. Haha Yeah, right. And yes, I wanted to observe how our farmers do it – our trusted and loyal workers. I admired them more than I have admired an office employee (no offense to office-based workers). But hard labor is no easy job. Exposed in the heat of the sun, bending over for hours either planting rice seedlings or harvesting them, soaked in mud or inhaling the itchy hay dust when threshing are, for me, among the most challenging tasks.

I closely looked at all of them. I saw Tio Digoy and Tio Kadog – they are the oldest among all of them. They have been working for my Dad since I was a kid. Now, their sons are working for us as well. I have learned to love them for all that they have put up for me and my family. I am praying that through us, their sons, daughters and grandchildren will one day have a better future because of their parents and grandparents’ hard work. Though that means we might lose workers in our farms, it would also be equivalent to giving everyone the chance to have better lives than what they have now.

I am praying too that someday there will no longer be a need for manual labor and everything will be run by machines operated in a clean office from planting to harvesting rice. That goes as well for harvesting coconuts and converting them into copra. The team of Tio Digoy also does them for us. Skilled, they really are. My family and I will always be grateful to them. We will always be grateful to Him for any blessing that He has bestowed as well as for His guidance and protection not just to me and my family but to our skilled workers and their families as well.

Copra

Coconuts being made into copra.

So if most think this is what I do in Bicol:

http://us.123rf.com

http://us.123rf.com

Nope, that’s not it because this is what I usually do:

"Tin, The Farm Girl"

“Tin, The Farm Girl”

Quite the opposite, right? Well, aside from washing the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the pets, etc. and having a little vacation time actually. We have no helpers or house maids back home and here in Manila, by the way. As it is written in the bible:

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” – Matthew 10:45

Let’s all live a life of servitude, shall we my dear brothers and sisters? 🙂

The ANOINTING OIL and More Memories

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It was after our family vacation with my husband’s family last weekend that I got hold of something interesting. We went to Baguio City in the upper north of the Philippines where the weather is particularly colder than in any part of the country.

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A portrait at the Baguio Botanical Garden c/o Brian Rome Photography.

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Brian Rome Photography

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My aunt-in-law, Tita Bebe, in an Ibaloi/Kankanaey native, traditional costume. 🙂

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I never could get this husband of mine to do a serious pose. Like never. 😉

It was a well-spent vacation full of laughter, travels and food ventures. One adventure that we didn’t miss was a visit to the famous haunted house in Baguio City and the bamboo art exhibit.

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My bro-in-law, Buds, and the facade of the haunted house. 🙂

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Spacious living room.

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Bamboo art work and handicraft.

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The living room.

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It was Bud’s idea to visit the haunted house.

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Up we went to uncover the house’s mystery.

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The Master’s Bed

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The Fireplace

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The staircase of the haunted house.

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It was his idea to reenact our wedding day.

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Unfortunately, I can only do the “real kiss” of the newlywed couple once. 😉

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No serious pose indeed. Oh wells. 😀

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His signature pose.

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Baguio Escapade 2015

We also stayed at Hotel Veniz which is located near the heart of the city popularly known for its night flea markets. My husband and I pretty much enjoyed buying stuff at such an affordable price – it was a hassle though packing them up as it added to our already bulky baggage. But it still was fun haggling for lower prices and yes, eating street food. Now this last part I must definitely say THE highlight of our last night there.

We were all tired after the vacation and it was during the last day at my in laws’ house where I got hold of one of the most interesting pieces of memorabilia that I didn’t quite expect after receiving my first memorabilia from the Holy Land which is the Spikenard Magdalena perfume thru my husband’s Dad.

My mother-in-law gave me Bible Land Treasures’  The Anointing Oil as one of their presents which I am very grateful for. A good God we indeed have. 🙂

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The Anointing Oil

If you haven’t read my article on the Spikenard Magdalena perfume, you can read it up here and it also explains a little bit about the Anointing Oil:

The Holy Perfume: Spikenard Magdalena

As of right now, I haven’t had the slightest idea as to what God’s purposes are why I have to get hold of these two important elements in the bible which is significant in our history on how Christianity started – particularly that of Jesus and the Cross. It is very humbling though that God gave me this privilege to be able to know these elements for real, have an idea how they smelled, what they look like and where and how they were used.

The Anointing Oil smelled more delicate and milder than the Spikenard Magdalena perfume which is a combination of frankincense, myrrh and spikenard. It also has a lighter color as compared to the perfume and less concentrated. I have used the perfume twice already but I haven’t used the anointing oil yet.

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Having shared this, I am now in need of your heartfelt prayers for the Spirit’s leading where these elements can be put into good use, not just for me, but for others as well – that in serving God’s will and purpose. 🙂

Loving Mother Nature via MNL Grow Kits

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I grew up loving nature so much that when I came here in the city to study in college, communing with nature was one of the things I missed back home in my province in Bicol. To combat homesickness, I started growing my own little garden in our apartment and for the article that I am about to share to you, I believe this was a God-given opportunity. 🙂

To know more about how you can grow your own “forest”  in the city, do check out this article:

MNL Grow Kits: Let Your Garden Grow With Ease

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I chose Arugula, Cilantro and Marigold as my new “plant-sies” and was worried sick when my husband and I went on a family vacation for 3 days. But somehow I was pacified when my husband told me this:

“The forest grows and lives without anyone tending them. So why worry if you will be leaving your plants for 3 days. Let God take care of them.”

When we came back, all were alive and kicking. 😉

Indeed, as it is written:

“Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.” – Genesis 9:3

DIY Project: Memories In A Bottle

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Now here it is. 🙂

I have decided to come up with this project of filling in empty bottles with memorabilia from certain special events. I posted just recently regarding flowers from my brother’s wedding last April and been contemplating what to do with them. I have been staring at them for quite some time now whether to throw them away or not as they are still beautiful and lovely to look at though they’ve been dried for almost a month already. I finally decided to do the latter.

So to make this project materialize, I gathered an empty bottle which was an old Hennessy bottle from Dad’s collection and my hair spray. Sprayed each flower one by one even the tiniest and I let them dry for a couple of minutes before putting them inside the bottle. Then for a finishing touch, put a ribbon, a straw or any piece of string that you have around the neck of the bottle near the rim.

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Preserving dried flowers essentials.

And this is the final output:

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Brother’s Wedding Memorabilia

It is now my second bottle of another memory as my first preserved rose in a bottle was the first Valentine’s Day rose given to me by my bf last year and who is now my fiance. 😉

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Memories In A Bottle

So, how far will your sentimentality take you? 🙂

I Love BICOL (Part 1): Masacrot Spring

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I was born in Bicol, a region located in Southern Luzon, and I’m a Bicolana, which is the term commonly used to refer to local women. For local men and locals in general, we use the term Bicolano. I only transferred to the metro when I took my bachelor’s degree in UP Diliman, but I guess I will always be a nature lover wherever life takes me. I grew up loving nature so much because of this – Bicol offers a vast expanse of luscious flora and fauna, and its rich local biodiversity makes it one of the famous places to visit here in the Philippines for ecotourism.

You can also find the majestic Mt. Mayon volcano in Bicol, which is known all over the world for its perfect cone. Though we are located in the ring of fire housing two active volcanoes, they are actually the few things that made our region a tourist spot. Other must-visit places in our region are the hot and cold springs, which can be found at the foot of the volcanoes such as the ones found near Mt. Bulusan volcano.

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Mt. Mayon Volcano in Albay

Hot springs are very common, but I am not sure if you have heard of cold springs in a tropical country – and I mean, ice cold spring.

In this article, I will be featuring one of the cold springs in the province of Sorsogon in Bicol that my family and I visited last May 31, 2015 – the Masacrot Spring.

So, why the name? “Masacrot” is a Bicol term which means “astringent.”

Astringency

Some foods, such as unripe fruits, contain tannins or calcium oxalate that cause an astringent or puckering sensation of the mucous membrane of the mouth. Examples include tea, red wine, rhubarb, and unripe persimmons and bananas.

Less exact terms for the astringent sensation are “dry”, “rough”, “harsh” (especially for wine), “tart” (normally referring to sourness), “rubbery”, “hard” or “styptic”.[73]

When referring to wine, dry is the opposite of sweet, and does not refer to astringency. Wines that contain tannins and so cause an astringent sensation are not necessarily classified as “dry,” and “dry” wines are not necessarily astringent.

In the Indian Ayurvedic tradition, one of the six tastes is astringency (kasaaya).[74]

– WIKIPEDIA

They say that the water in Masacrot Spring contains some minerals, which make the water astringent. But it is potable and considered as safe to drink.

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Masacrot Spring

The blue-green waters of the pool will captivate you enough to make you want to dive right away regardless if you’re a pro swimmer or not. The pool was hand-carved, and the natural environment surrounding it offers an ambiance perfect for communing with nature. This was the second time we visited Masacrot Spring. I could barely remember anything during our first visit because I was only 5 years old back then. All I could remember was that there’s a very cold pool that exists in this world. 😉

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Pristine, crystal blue-green waters.

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Hand-carved pool.

Taking a plunge in this cold spring can only be described in one perfect word – invigorating. YES, that is a definite. You literally will get the chill the moment the cold water touches your skin. Though I wouldn’t advise taking a dip in the pool without moving for a long time because it is REALLY that freezing cold.

Locals visit the place during the peak of the summer season when weather temperature rises to as high as 39 degrees Celsius. But let me assure you that nothing is as refreshing as a cold spring dip during the hottest months here in the Philippines.

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Masacrot Spring pool.

The bottom of the pool isn’t cemented, and the clay–like soil tends to get slippery so take extra caution when walking around the resort. Some parts of the pool go as deep as 6 feet. So if you are not a swimmer, better rent or bring your own floaters just to be safe.

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Don’t forget your swimming floaters. 😉

The cold water is free-flowing too so the water stays clean even if the place is jampacked with visitors during the peak season. They also have a lot of cottages where you and your family can relax, and there are grill stations for cooking barbecues and fish. Now, that makes me hungry. 😀

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The perfect summer snack: unripe, sour mangoes with shrimp paste.

Masacrot Spring is located in Bulusan, Sorsogon and if you will be coming from the airport in Legazpi, Albay, it will be a 2-hour drive. There are a lot of options when commuting via public transportation going to the resort, but I suggest renting a van or a jeepney that will take you there and pick you up for a hassle-free vacay for you, your family, and your friends. 🙂

Project Memories

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Something to spearhead my next project. I guess you already guessed what it is. Stay tuned my beloved readers! 😉

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Dried flowers from my brother’s wedding last April 25, 2015.

10 Things I Have Learned From Men

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"His and Hers"

1. Never ask your boyfriend/husband “Ms. Universe” questions when he is sleepy or about to sleep because he’ll surely give you either an answer he didn’t mean, he will give you a silent response or he will sleep grumpy.

2. Men hate bringing a big, bulky and heavy baggage if there is no need so most likely he will hate you for bringing your whole room and your whole world inside your bag every time you have a date and he’ll have to carry it.

3. When you ask them how’s your cooking and it is bad, they’ll give you uncertain answers – neither a yes or a no but if it’s good they’ll shout a “Busog!” afterwards even if you don’t ask them how was it.

4. Men don’t care if they accidentally worn their shirt inside out even if you tell them they have worn it the wrong way.

5. Don’t let them ask for directions, they will just continue getting lost or they’ll ask a different question.

6. They hate nail polishes that only 1/8 are remaining on your nails.

7. With the 1 thousand not-so-important things you have told him, only about 10 will he remember.

8. They love tinkering new stuff without reading the manual first.

9. They just love inventing their own lyrics of a song.

10. Waking them up is not a problem. They cope well even if it is a disturbed sleep.

P.S.

Men pray short, concise prayers. Women pray long, dramatic prayers. 😉

(This article does not totally represent men in general. I arrived with these conclusions as observed from the men in my life: my Dad, my brother and my fiance.) 🙂

April Full

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An escape away from the city.

Yup, it was so full. Not about April Fool’s Day though. 😉

If you have noticed, I don’t have an entry for the entire month of April. That is because I was swamped with a lot of activities last month, I only got to “breathe” and check my blog now. I still am a bit busy but not as hectic as compared with the sched last month.

So first things first.

My sister arrived from Norway and decided we have a family outing and relaxation this summer. But before that, we met one of our titos, my Dad’s brother, Tito Cesar and my cousin Arra for a get together/ lunch at Escolta then the day after it was followed by a family dinner with the family of my brother’s wife.

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Lunch with Tito Cesar and Arra at Escolta. 🙂

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Dinner with the Silvestre family at Pinac restaurant. 🙂

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Pinac Family Day

For our family summer outing this year, my eldest sister chose Luljetta Hanging Gardens located at Antipolo as she personally knows the owner and it is just an hour away from the busy metro.

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My eldest sister, Ate Faye. 🙂

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One of their infinity pools. This one is the biggest.

When we got to the place, I fell in love with it. The scenery may not be as spectacular as I have expected but if you opt for a quiet place where you could commune with nature and be rejuvenated, this is exactly the place to be.

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He is…errr…uhmm….contemplating? Perhaps. 😀

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Side of the infinity pool.

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Restaurant that caters local and international cuisines.

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The Zen lounge.

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A place to sit and relax.

I recommend this if you, your friends or families intend to have a retreat. There are quotations and phrases that uplift the heart and soul as you pass by the trail.

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The garden.

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Love is….

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Uplifting quotations everywhere.

Guessing by its name, the spa and hanging gardens were carved and placed right on the side of a mountain. It was the architecture of the place that, for me, made it awesome.

But there is one restriction though that this place may posit – there are trails that are far too steep, it will not be convenient to those who are old enough to climb a hundred stairs.

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Steep stairs, by the cliff.

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Reading nook.

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Cabana

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The jacuzzi.

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Sauna and jacuzzi.

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The other infinity pool. This is perfect for kids.

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Inside the Buddha’s lounge.

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Intricate interiors made from raw local materials.

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The way to the lounge.

But the good thing is that if you wish to use the spa only, it is easily accessible by anyone. Only the infinity pools, the sauna, the hydromassage pool and the Dr. Fish are situated right down below the hotel. Their restaurant is also located at the terrace of the hotel.

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One of the Dr. Fish pools.

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Hydromassage Pool

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Hydromassage Pool

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There goes the heavy downpour! 🙂

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Hydromassage pool.

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Bubbles are everywhere. 😉

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Perfect for back aches.

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Lunch time.

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Adobo.

The hydromassage pool and Dr. Fish are new to me so it was the first thing that we tried when we got there. It was a very funny experience for us so I took a video of all the fun. 😉

The hydromassage pool can be compared to a big jacuzzi and there are two bars that have rainshowers-like splatters pouring out. I wasn’t able to experience getting drenched under a heavy downpour, not even when I was a kid, so this experience was one of the most memorable I must say. 😉

The place is perfect for couples as well on a honeymoon as geographically, you won’t be able to see other visitors coming here and going there except perhaps during the peak season.

We were able to have our spa session a few minutes before the sunset. So we chose the outdoor massage and they usually conduct the session in a nipa hut of your choice beside the cliff overlooking the cityscape. It is just the perfect time to relax before dinner time or in the case of my parents, they scheduled a session a couple of hours before bedtime.

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Our merienda, one of Antipolo’s delicacies paired with lemon grass iced tea before the spa session.

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Goodbye city life for now.

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It is spa time. 🙂

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The outdoor massage nipa huts.

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Flowery

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The restaurant at Taktak Hall.

Another first-time experience that I had is being in a seat that goes up and makes a full 360 rotation. It is called Dream Twister and one of the newest attractions at SM Mall of Asia.

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Sunset walk before trying the Dream Twister. 🙂

My fiance and I are always up for challenging activities and so I asked him if we could try it together. And of course, how could he say no? 😉

So up we went and it was the most exhilirating experience I have had. I think it is even challenging than doing bungee jumping or sky diving because the seats rotate then goes up and down, fast and slow. Imagine being held by a giant while he is walking and he is swaying his arms – that is the exact feeling. It was so fun I definitely will try it again. 🙂

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Let the FUN BEGIN!!! 😀

And of course, the highlight for the month of April was my brother’s military wedding. I have been one of their witnesses how their union as a couple started. They met through the singles’ getaway in one of our churches, Victory Fort, and as they say, the rest is history.

My sister-in-law is my brother’s first girlfriend and I have so much admiration for my brother for he stayed true to his commitment when he told me that his first girlfriend will also be his last as she will be the one he is going to marry.

Here are some photos during one of the best milestones of their lives together as a couple:

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Me and my sisters, Ate Ayn and Ate Abeden. 🙂

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The princesses of the Ginete family. 🙂

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All the ladies in the house. 😉

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The Ginete fam bam. 🙂

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My mom. 🙂

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The Casis family missing the owner of the uniform. 😉

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Me and my ever goofy fiance. 😀

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The retired civil engineer and retired grade school teacher – my parents. 😉

I believe that it is also God who fulfilled that commitment for him until come that day wherein my brother is now in front of God making one of his greatest commitments – the Holy Matrimony.

I just feel blessed and grateful that I now look up to them as the couple who may not have the perfect relationship but persevered to keep it in reverence to the Lord and His beautiful promises for both of them.

Having said that, I will leave you with this video which captured their most special moment that no words could describe. 🙂

God of Wonders

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Have you ever wondered why we have pebbles and not just big rocks?

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Pebbles

How about flowers made from all sorts of sizes, shapes and colors and not just one?

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Bromiliad

Why is it that a tiny creature such as a bug, has such a beautiful, golden green color as its shell?

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Golden Bug

Colossians 1:16 NLT

“…for through Him, God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see–such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through Him and for Him.”

“He works in mysterious ways.”

How often do we hear this phrase? Very often to most of us and maybe to some this will be the first time you will read about this. In this article, allow me to let you delve deeper how God works and the amazing things that He has done not just to me but to the people around me. As much as I want to keep all things private in my personal life, I believe God wanted me to share some of them as a testimony of His Grace and His Love.

If you are to read my previous articles, it’ll give you an idea what are the current struggles that I am going through. And yes, I was on the point of hopelessly giving up. I am engaged and my fiance and I were planning to tie the knot next year. The quicker the time passes by, the more conflicts arise, the more challenging the trials become.

One of them is saving for the wedding. We both wanted a simple and intimate wedding for two reasons – it wouldn’t be costly and we wanted to share it with those who know us really well. But I am in this situation wherein I could not contribute anything to the expenses with the meager allowance I am getting out of my sister’s generosity to help me finish my graduate study in UP. I am in my last part of my graduate study finishing my thesis and I was advised by my thesis adviser that finishing it will require me to go full time in my master’s degree meaning I cannot get married this year or get a job.

I can only hope for my fiance’s savings at work which are not enough. We attended the Marriage Preparation seminar and it was discussed there that leaving your spouse to work abroad and earn enough to provide for your family is not the solution. You have to be with your spouse always because that is the commitment you have made when you got married – only death can do both of you part. My fiance considered about this option of working abroad. It became one of the conflicts we had to deal with. He was determined, I tried talking him out of it but to no avail. Until I came up with the decision that we would have to cancel the engagement for the meantime then pursue me again when we are both financially ready.

He doesn’t want to sacrifice the relationship over a career abroad. And yet both of us have no clues how to get married without having to borrow any single cent from anyone. We both agreed to just take things just as they are, leave them be and trust God for provisions. But sometimes it doesn’t come as easy as it sounds – pressure from friends and families asking about the wedding can sometimes be the cause of again facing that conflict wherein temper gets loose, impatience creeps in and negativity overtakes our thoughts.

Every night I would pray and I can’t help but cry out my pleas for help to the Lord. I waited but no answer came, we are still both in the same situation. But it was during those times that I did nothing but pray every morning and every night, devote more time to bible reading and gathering all devotion I could get. I know it is only through His Word that I will get my strength and courage and not give up. I always keep in mind that this relationship is different than my previous relationship because God gave me this when I was already a Christian – this was not a mistake. I will use my free will to honor God by honoring the commitment and by holding on to the beautiful promise that He wanted for both me and my fiance – to fulfill the Holy Matrimony.

Then came more conflicts which involves the families, attitudes, habits, relations with other people, priorities, the past mistakes, temptations, goals – every weakness we both have, God brought them all out into the open. The relationship was like a battle ship attacked from all sides by canyons, tossed to and fro in the sea.

But there is a God.

And I was grateful I was saved. One time when we broke up, someone from my past (an ex boyfriend), contacted me after 2 years of no communication. 4 years ago, we broke up violently to the point that I attempted to commit suicide, never had the chance to apologize to each other and yet I thank him for he is the reason why I got saved and I am where I am now. Exactly the time that my fiance and I decided to call things off, my ex boyfriend called me past midnight and told me he was dared by his best friend. I can tell that he was a bit drunk and this is what he told me,

“Tin, I am leaving for Australia for good. I just want to tell you that if you haven’t been too possessive on me, I would’ve married you.”

His best friend, in the background, shouted this, “You rocked his world!”

Well, I don’t know if I should be happy with what I heard but I took it as our formal closure. I could not remember if I got the chance to apologize because I was tongue-tied – he was telling the truth. Because exactly at that moment when my fiance and I broke up, it was for that very same reason, AGAIN. After he said his goodbyes, I can’t help but cry.

God, at that moment, was telling me that I need to learn from my mistake or I will end up losing another person I love and a precious relationship that could have been lived out beautifully. It was a sign to save the current relationship I have before it is too late – a reminder. It was my being possessive to the point that I was jealous of everyone around him that ruined the relationship and I could not enjoy my moments with him anymore. God does not want me to go through the same mistake because He has saved me from that already.

Ephesians 2:10 NLT

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

I know I am being put to a test right now – to prove that indeed I am new in Christ and the old has gone. It is through my fiance that God was finishing the work that He began in me – how to learn to trust someone who has a past as dark as mine and yet is not yet devoted in his faith. But I know too that through the tests, God will always be with me to make sure that I overcome the greatest weakness I have – my insecurities. I was just amazed that God reminded me of what I wrote in the placard during my Foundations for Victory class’ last day presentation.

Foundations for Victory is a month-long class after your water and holy baptism which we call in church, the Victory Weekend. Its purpose is to equip you in your spiritual journey by establishing your faith with the biblical foundations. And last night, I took a photo of what I wrote in the placard which was the old me before salvation versus the new me after salvation:

Tin Ginete

Only God can make you feel secure. 🙂

Philippians 1:6 NLT

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

I can tell for certain that this relationship was given to me not to see me fail again but God wanted to help me overcome them consequences now that I am already saved. But my question was always this, “Father, my fiance is not a devoted Christian, how can we make our relationship work if You are not the center of his life?”

Again, I was basing everything on what I see and hear, not trusting God and His plans. I always rely on my own understanding and yet again, I was reminded:

Proverbs 3:5 NLT

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”

During the Marriage Preparation seminar, we had a workshop wherein the couples have to answer a set of questions and these are the questions.

 1. Is it God’s plan for me to marry? Why? How do I know this?

2. Is it God’s plan for me to marry the person I am with? Why? How did God reveal this to you?

After answering, I told my fiance that I am not going to read his answers at that moment, I’ll just read them during our wedding. But after the several conflicts we have had and on the verge of losing hope for the relationship, I re-read our Marriage Preparation booklet and I stumbled upon our answers – I read my fiance’s. I got another confirmation from the Lord – we both have similar answers. And his was even more beautiful:

1. “Yes. God wanted me to experience His blessings (having children and a happy family) because I am His child.”

I cried, I was humbled. I was so wrong. How could I even doubt his faith when faith is a personal relationship with the Lord? It is between you and Him. How could I be so doubtful, so assuming, not trusting the Lord and His plans? How could I judge him so wrongly?

But then, there came the enemy filling me again with doubts: Are you sure your fiance wrote it sincerely? Or he was just playing along with the questions and he knows what answer he is expected to write to please you?

Doubts. Enough with the doubts. Enough with the deception that the enemy has been trying to lure me ever since. Enough with my insecurities. I know my God. My God is the greatest God and He will do anything to keep me and my faith. I may have fallen at times but right now He requires me to stand and fight for Him until my last breath – put into practice what He has taught and trust in the Spirit’s leading. It is not for me to know what happens in the future, He just wants me to trust and obey.

And God stayed faithful and just. For His wonders never stopped there. It was at this point that my fiance and I had the biggest miracle we could ever imagine. I was on the point of sacrificing my master’s degree so I could follow him when he works abroad just so we would not sacrifice the relationship, or he works abroad, I stay here and finish my master’s degree but sacrifice the relationship. Tough decisions to make they are, and yet God gave the answer – better opportunities at his workplace. It was our only hope.

My fiance was reluctant at first if he will get it, but I told him to take the chance. Told him God will give it to you if it His will for you and if you sincerely pray in your heart that you want it because we both need it – not for ourselves but for Him because we wanted to honor the commitment, we are willing to make sacrifices to uphold that commitment. I told him that prayers are so powerful if you believe in every single word that you have uttered in that prayer and believe in God. So there we were praying for each other, encouraging one another when making choices prove to become so difficult.

John 16: 24

“You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.”

And then….YES, it was given. At that moment, I cried with joy. How faithful indeed is the Lord! My fiance gets to stay with me, I get to finish my master’s degree, we both can be secure with our future. He indeed deserves all the honor and glory and I will forever be thankful to my Lord, my Savior.

Doubts may creep in that it is not meant to be but I will continue hoping and I will continue praying. I always pray that God would protect both of us from the attacks of the enemy for I know there are forces in this world that contest that which is good and pleasing which came from the Lord. As it is written:

1 Peter 5:8 NLT

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

The kind of salvation that I am praying for my fiance may not be what is happening now. But it is only for God to know what happens in the future. All I know is that both of us are being transformed every single day to become the persons that He wanted us to be teaching us the essence of what it really means to be a Christian – to have patience, to have peace, to be faithful, to love selflessly, to sacrifice, to endure, to forgive, to be prayerful and most of all to know God personally and deeply through our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I could still remember the early times in our relationship and after the first few conflicts, I shared to my sister in Christ whom I admire deeply on how she handled her relationship and is now happily married, that my fiance is not yet devoted in his faith. And her answer was, “Be patient, Tin and pray.” After all this and what is to come, I can only be so very grateful that I have a God who is this:

Revelation 1:8 NLT

“I am the Alpha and the Omega—the beginning and the end,” says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.”

And with that, I know I am secure. 🙂

I Was All Wrong

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Tin Ginete

Seeing the red despite the grey all around.

Let me share to you a little secret. It is a secret because there are only 2 people, me and a closest friend, who knows his real name.

Yes, him. Not my fiance though but a guy I met in church before I met my fiance.

I was going through a tough time 3 years back. I just got out of a terrible relationship then faith was introduced to me.

They say that a gaze, a penetrating gaze, can send multiple messages without even speaking. That is how I got to know him. He was single, I was on a period of recovery and enjoying my single life again and there was this Singles’ getaway.

I blamed that gaze we had with each other. That single look that sent something down to my soul – a look that I could not forget. But, at that time I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I wanted God to mend my heart first and listen to Him when He says that that guy is the one for you. Besides, I cannot base my emotions solely on a meaningful gaze whatever the message may be.

I felt it, he was interested. I can tell by his actions that he is. But I acted as if I didn’t notice him, that I am not interested. Because I am not yet ready to be in a relationship.

A year passed. I would see him in church every now and then. I waited. I was patiently waiting for him to make the move. What I felt for him didn’t change. I wanted to know him more but it is not appropriate for me to pursue him. It’s not a woman’s role.

I prayed. I included him even in my faith goals. I would check his profile every now and then because he is my friend on Facebook. Well, there’s nothing much to see in his profile but I still would check it. Stalker mode on, yes. 😉

2 years passed. I was becoming impatient. I asked God to give me a sign if I should hold on to that special gaze he and I shared. I asked God if I should hold on to that certain feeling I have for him. Though I can’t say it is love but I can tell it is something special.

Then the sign came.

I checked his Facebook profile, I saw a picture. He already has a girlfriend.

Ouch. I got the answer. It hurt me a lot. All those two years of waiting ended up in vain. I was so broken again that the urge to delete him was so tempting but I know it was not right. I just unfollowed him so I would not see his updates in my news feed.

I cried a lot, it was another heartbreak. I asked God a lot of questions. Why do I have to feel those emotions with him if we will not end up together? Would things be different if I somehow showed him a sign that I am interested with him too? Would it have made a difference if I made a way to get to know him? Why didn’t he pursue me?

I had no answers, I was in pain. But God slowly healed me again. Way faster this time because the Spirit is already within me. I just learned to accept things the way they are. Then better opportunities came along and I started to think of him less. But he was the only Christian guy in church that I had a crush on. 🙂

A couple of months later, I was back to my lively self not worrying about anything and moving on from the past. I met my fiance. He is a Christian but not as devoted as my crush. But the attraction was also there.

He pursued me, we went out on dates and I got to know him more. I included him in my faith goals too. I asked God to give me a sign and to prevent me from making a decision that I will regret later on. He laid down his intentions and I said yes to be his girlfriend.

Our relationship didn’t start as smooth sailing as I expected and I had a hard time inviting my boyfriend at that time to join a bible study group in our church. He declined but he does go to church with me. Every time we have a conflict I would always point the reason why to the idea that he is not so devoted when it comes to faith.

Then I would ask, was it a mistake that I chose him? Am I now suffering the consequences of making that mistake? But God would always assure me I am where I should be. If it was a mistake, God can still turn it into something beautiful so long as He sees we are honoring Him in the relationship.

But I am starting to lose hope and yet when he proposed, I said yes. I felt it right at that time. And I believe God was asking me to stay. But I was so disillusioned by the thought that I was unequally yoked. I would even pray to God if it will really work out. But God told me to trust Him.

Came an opportunity wherein I asked my fiance over the phone just last night with this, “Honey, if ever you get rich, what would be the first thing you’re gonna do with your money?”

The answer that came made me smile with gladness:

“Ever since I was in high school, it was my dream to donate to our mother church so we can have it air-conditioned and add a second floor because I owe it to them the faith I have now.”

It was an answer that I wasn’t prepared to hear. I couldn’t reply for a moment and when I did speak, it was only a “wow” that I could blurt out followed by another pause. And more smiling. 😀

I need not think anymore that he wanted to please me that is why he said it nor his sincerity for saying it. He said it with his own words without me giving a hint what kind of answer is good for that question.

I was tongue-tied at that moment because God taught me to never underestimate His power and grace. I know it is God who touched my fiance’s heart. It was so different to hear him say such things. And I know that everything that happened in the past was all part of His plans. Nothing is ever a mistake when you rely on God and not on yourself or anybody.

And I now have the answers re my crush. I wasn’t really prepared to be in a relationship back then because it was only in this relationship now that God is preparing me. I cannot be a best partner if I am not at my best and be complete in God. And I only get to appreciate what it means to be a Christian and how it is to be a Christian in a relationship just now.

I told God that after a violent breakup with my ex boyfriend I don’t and I cannot see myself able to love again as my heart will grow numb because of the pain.  But what I felt for my crush was God telling me that I still am capable of loving a man. And that it is not my fate to be forever single. He prepared my heart at that time so to speak.

The future is so full of beautiful promises. I can see that. God, I know, lets things happen amazingly and surprisingly. But what I am expecting and hoping now might not be what God has planned. And that is why He wants me to trust, obey and hope in Him – completely, come what may.

Who knows, one day I get to say this again: I was so wrong all along. 🙂