Tag Archives: Mom

When The Pain Lingers

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I requested a copy of Mom’s death certificate online today and once again, tears just started streaming down my face as I wrote her death day. It’s been 7 months since Mom passed away, and yet grief still lingers – the pain lingers. Indeed, what they say is true. The pain will never go away. You just learn to move on with your life, but the pain of losing a loved one will always be there. And yes, things will just never be the same.

For today’s blog post, I wanted to write a letter to my Mom just to lessen the pain a little bit. ❤️

“Dear Mommy,

I miss you terribly. I miss your text messages and our long conversations over the phone (not less than 2 hours) just talking about anything. I miss watching movies with you and how we would analyze and make a movie critique even when the movie was not yet finished and make assumptions about how it will end.

I ate pistachios today – your favorite. They were supposed to be a “pasalubong” for you from a relative abroad. Your favorite imported soaps are also still in your cabinet, and I don’t know if I will use them because their scent reminds me of you and makes me miss you even more.

Do you still remember when I was still sleeping with you and Dad until I was 6 years old and how I’d tuck my hand under your armpit and I’d fall asleep right after? I still do that now, but with my husband. lol You probably must’ve thought how weird is this kind of behavior from your youngest child. And yet, you still let me do it.

I hope you were at peace when God took you from us – it was my only prayer while you were at the hospital. Losing you is a tragedy that doesn’t seem to have an ending. We may not agree on certain things, but I want you to know that I am deeply sorry if there were times when I hurt your feelings.

It was never my intention to hurt you, and all I ever wanted was to love you like how you wanted to be loved. You will always be the best Mom for me. And it is because of you that’s why I am who I am today.

Oh Mom, how do you make this pain more tolerable? I wish I had your wit and your wisdom. You seem to have an answer and a solution to everything. Everyone in the family confided with you when it came to their problems and sought your advice.

I was also hoping you’d still get to see your grandkids, my future children (if God wills it I still bear a child). But, I guess that will no longer happen. Losing you is very painful, and I am not sure when will I be grieving. The only consolation I have now is that you’re no longer suffering from pain.

Help me to be brave like you, Mom. And yet I know you will tell me to trust God because He is the only one who sees everything and that He is always in control.

Thank you for everything, Mommy. I will cherish all the memories we’ve had with you – the good and the bad. I may sometimes wish that I’d be with you sooner, and yet I know I still have to look forward to what lies ahead if God will tell me to stay a little longer.

I love you always, and no one can ever replace you in my heart because there is only one person who carried me in her womb and brought me into this world – you.

Always your youngest child,

Nen”

“God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, no crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”- Revelation 21:4

We Miss You, Mommy ❤️

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We wanted to keep Mom with us for the time being, so we’re commemorating All Souls’ Day 2023 here at home after visiting other deceased relatives at the cemetery later.

We will see each other again, Mom, in God’s perfect time. 🥰🙏
Purple & Pink Mums for Mom
Yellow Mums for Mom
Beautiful baskets of flowers at the market. Hmm, quite a bit expensive, too.
For our beloved Lolos and Lolas. ❤️

So, what to do now with this parcel of land that my parents bought at a private cemetery if we all prefer to be laid to rest here at home? 😉 My 3rd sister suggested we build a columbarium instead and have the vaults rented out to address the rising demand for death slots inside the town proper. Methinks it’s a great idea, but we might need to conduct a feasibility study first and research all the paperwork (licensing, registration, etc.) involved. As always, may God’s will be done. 🙏

The problem with unutilized properties now is that when left idle, they become other people’s garbage area. So yes, I’m really praying for that private columbarium. 🙏

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4

To The Only Mother I’ll Ever Have

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That’s no other than my Mom. 🙂

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I wrote this article to honor our Mom on her 72nd birthday today, September 7, 2018. I know the text, call or Skype greeting won’t be enough to show her how much we love her especially since we are miles away from her. Thus, here’s a little something for the social media.

Her Name is Teacher Eden

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BNCS-A Teachers: Mom is second from the left.

She’s a retired grade school teacher. She’s also one of my former teachers and though she’s my Mom, she never treated me any different from my classmates. I could remember one moment when I was still the talkative girl seated at the front because of near-sightedness. My Mom, who’s my Science teacher back then, called me out by my name and said, “Christine, pay attention!” 😀 Haha

Mom in her younger days.

Yes, no biases for Mom as a teacher inside the classroom. And that is why when asked during a job interview who’s the first person to me who exemplified professionalism, I wrote none other than my Mom. Here’s my answer:

“I have worked in several industries from the BPO, the advertising agency, to the academe but I only found one professional whom I look up to when it comes to the right work ethics and dedication – my Mom. I may be biased but she is the first professional I know who exemplifies what it is to not just be good but to excel in your craft as far as professionalism is concerned.

She is now a retired grade school teacher and has been teaching for 45 years. She was assigned to handle Section 4 in a public elementary school which was stereotyped back then as a class composed of students who were rowdy, often absent, and cognitively challenged. But despite that, my Mom invested in her students through discipline and provided encouragement to always be in class.

Some of them were absent in school because they accompany their parents in earning a living. Some attend school without having breakfast. Some couldn’t cope with the lesson discussed. And yet my Mom made sure they are getting the best quality of education she could offer.

It is through this that I have learned that professionalism isn’t about being employed and receiving a salary but more about what you can contribute to the betterment of the organization you are with may it be in the academe or the corporate world.”

As A Mother

My Mom, and in all goodness of the word, is a “tiger mom” in a way that she instilled discipline above everything else. She has a lot of rules at home but she’s the one who taught us what it meant about taking responsibilities and being accountable for them at an early age.

I can remember how I made a “deal” with Mom about having my first cat when I was around 7 or 8 years old. I asked her if I can keep the kittens. This was what she said, “Yes, you can keep them but you are responsible for feeding them and making sure they are well taken care of.” And yes, we have to take out our cats’ poop when we’re already a bit older. My siblings and I usually try to “evade” this task and you can tell why. lol

Every Saturday, we also had this family thing called “doing household chores together.” 😀 When I was younger (and anyone can relate), this is the part where I don’t enjoy much. But now that I am older, I appreciated my Mom training us to do these chores as part of our weekly tasks.

And no, don’t ever think about cleaning everything in one fast sweep. You have to make sure the place where you’re assigned to clean is 100% spot-free. Why? She will ask you to clean it again if she still sees dirt in them. 😉

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The young Ginetes circa 1980s.

During summertime, kids may have this idea of 100% vacation in their heads. But with us, it is 90% play time but 10% summer lessons. She would ask us to do advance lessons of books that will be used for next year.

No problem for me if it’s English because it’s my favorite (even if I have faulty grammar.lol). But no, it has to be your most hated subject – mine’s Math. 😀 Mom knew the subjects where we’re performing poorly and to avoid the chances of us flanking, she will ask us to do review lessons.

There are actually a lot more that I can share here about how Mom brought us up and made us who we are now. But looking back, I can only be grateful she brought us up that way.

I appreciated every single effort that she and my Dad made to teach us everything from right values, good manners, to the skills that we needed to survive in the real world. It molded the character that now defines each and every one of us, 5 siblings.

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Year 2010: Back when my eldest sister’s the only one among 5 of us, siblings, who is married. 😀

There are times that out of my frustration I would text my Mom about certain people and how different they are from us. And yet what she will always tell me is to stand down. To show to people how to do things right but do it by being flexible enough to understand where they came from. By being able to listen, to never demand, but to adjust if and when necessary.

If God wills it I become a mom, I am going to raise my children like how Mom did with a little combination from what I learned from others and in the academe. My Mom epitomizes a woman of great character, strength, and wisdom. And I can only thank God I was given a Mom like her. With this, I can say that my siblings and I are truly blessed. ❤

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Circa 1960s: My mom (in blue dress) along with my uncles and aunt, grandparents (center), and great-grandmother (center, seated).

To end this article, I’d like to offer a prayer for my Mom and I’d like to invite you to join me pray for her:

“Dear Father,

Thank You for the life of my Mom. May You always shower her with your protection, Your love, Your comfort, and Your grace. Strengthen her always in the times that she is weak and deliver her from any kind of struggle.

May You bind us together as one family through her in the midst of trials and challenges. Thank You because You have been faithful to her all throughout these years. May You shine upon her and give her the wisdom always that will lead not just us, her children, but others as well.

In Jesus’ Mighty Name I pray, Amen.”

“Honor your Father and your Mother” — which is the first commandment with a promise…” – Ephesians 6:2

Always proud to be my Mom’s daughter,

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P.S.

If you want to know more about my Mom, you may read this article: “How My Passion For Art and Fashion Came To Be.” ❤

A Silent Salutation To My Moms

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A silent salutation.

Because I know that the endless “Thank yous” and “I love yous”  won’t be enough to completely express how much my appreciation goes for such an amazing job they did on motherhood.

I will become a mother someday. But if it isn’t God’s will, I’d still be grateful I was blessed with the opportunity to marry and be with the man God has appointed me to be with. But for now, it is such a great opportunity that God has given me my birth mother and my mother-in-law – two completely opposite and flawed individuals yet amazing in their own ways. Oftentimes I find myself thinking how far will my faith be tested. That is, being a woman of God. My Mom and my mother-in-law are women tested through time becoming who they are now.

They say elders are to be examples to the younger generations. For they were made wiser by time and experiences – something that the youth do not possess yet. It is by wisdom that men grow as an individual as far as individuality is concerned. And yet the irony is that not all elders possess the right kind of wisdom – Godly knowledge. Through which I found myself praying for utmost discernment. For how can someone younger correct someone older out of the youth’s reverence to the elderly?

It was written in the bible:

“Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed,..” – Titus 3:1

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – 1 Peter 5:5

“Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” – Colossians 3:20

It takes such great effort to summon the Spirit for leading when it comes to what matters most – obedience to the one who holds the authority even if it means the outcome will be a wrong decision because it wasn’t God-centered or doing the right thing, that which is pleasing to God and yet disobeying the elders.

My adoration for my mothers did not come as instant as they can be. I disliked a couple of things about my Mom and the same goes for my mother-in-law. I do not agree in some of what they do and say and yet I found myself looking past their weaknesses and appreciating the good in each of them. Appreciation is never that easy, for accepting one person for who he/she is means accepting even the worst in him/her.

My relationship with my Mom is never the warm, friendly type. She is a Mom and I am her daughter and nothing should cross that boundary. She brought us up in a very independent manner, allowing us to make our own decisions, letting us fall if we made the wrong decisions, letting us look for solutions to our problems and yet she never fails to be there at the moment when you needed her the most. Communication does not happen everyday for us even when I was in college. I admire the way she disciplines us, the values most especially. For it is in those values that I have learned about how to deal with the circumstances and people around me the right way – that which is acceptable not just to society but to God most especially.

My mother-in-law is the opposite. She likes to foster warm and affectionate mother-daughter/mother-son relationships. She likes it that she is updated with what is happening in our daily lives. Oftentimes she makes most of the decisions and provides solutions to problems right away. She provides everything that is needed, making way for everything to be smooth sailing. She is very lenient with a lot of things and you truly will feel her care and concern. Although some of these complicate some things too.

Both my mothers are so different in upbringing, values system they uphold to, life experiences and lifestyle. Yet they have one thing in common – they are both mothers, one which greatly symbolizes womanhood. A responsibility that is never easy to handle as everyone knows. Being married gave me the opportunity to know them really well when circumstances and conflicts posit I seek for their counsel and when the Spirit urges me as well to do so.

It was only in this season of my marriage that I got to talk to my Mom regarding relational issues as freely as I can be. We never talked about it in a casual manner even in my previous relationships but now I am amazed by all the wisdom she has to offer when it comes to being a woman, a wife and a mother.

As for my mother-in-law, I have to be grateful for her generosity although we always assure her we can completely handle things on our own. I used to view both my moms with contempt and hesitation and yet amazing it is that God has indeed proven He is greater than any barrier known – that of changing hearts and minds, one of the most difficult to do among men.

I cannot say if it was my heart and mindset that have been changed, my Mom’s or that of my mother-in-law’s but I can’t help but be extremely grateful and blessed for these two important women that God has appointed in my life. I believe most of us just make this one common mistake, one way or the other, of asking this question:

“Why do I have to have him/her in my life?”

For it was never a question of “why”  but a question of “what” – that of knowing in God’s perfect time what are the good purposes and roles that God has for placing them in our lives.

Some say it is the hypothalamus that is responsible in allowing us to feel love. Although common to all is that it is the heart that makes us love and feel loved. I say though, it is neither the heart nor the hypothalamus that is capable of eliciting love but none other than the author of love Himself, God.

For when a change of hearts and a change of mindsets happen, we know that God has already begun His work in you, in us – as evidenced by the love you give and the love you receive. And what better way to start reciprocating love than to people who matter to you most. 🙂

MAY the Flowers Be with You

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Yes, it is “Flores de Mayo” or Flowers of May. 🙂

It is a yearly tradition celebrated during the month of May here in the Philippines. If you want to know more about this tradition, you can check Wikipedia’s article here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flores_de_Mayo.

But this blog post is not going to be about the tradition per se but the flora and fauna photos I took one summer in my hometown in Bicol. That is because I love communing with nature THAT MUCH. Anywhere that has luscious greens, colorful flowers and a beautiful scenery – you will see me scrutinizing everything with the lens. But Mom’s garden is my usual favorite “playground.” 🙂

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The tiniest ground orchid I have seen.

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Cymbidium Orchid

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Forgot to ask Mom what is this called. 😀

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Cattleya Orchid

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Dendrodium Orchid

But this last photo fascinated me the most in this collection. Not because it is an extraordinary specie but the concept of the subjects proved to be quite interesting for me. Although that is me – I just have a knack for making the simple to complicated and the mundane to absurd. 😀

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Hydrangea

I was just reminded by the obvious contrast between these two subjects: a fresh flower and a wilted one. I only remembered one verse while staring at the two:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

2 Corinthians 5:17

And with that, I end my article. 😉

Cine Europa 16: “A Royal Affair”

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I was checking Facebook’s news feed when I came across an advertisement regarding the annual Cine Europa Festival here in the Philippines which showcases international films from participating European countries.

Being an Anglo-American Literature major back in college, I was of course thrilled I will get to see European films again – for FREE. 🙂

One movie caught my interest and of course it has to be set in 18th Century Denmark, the period of Enlightenment and a historical drama wherein most details in the movie are based on historical facts – A ROYAL AFFAIR.

"A Royal Affair" (2012)

“A Royal Affair” (2012)

It has received several awards – Satellite Award for Best Costume Design and Robert Award for Best Actress in a Supporting Role.

Perfect choice as this movie had its free screening in my university’s film center which is synonymous to this – I don’t have to travel far to be able to watch it. I have God to thank for that. 🙂

Cine Europa 16 @ UP Film Institute

Cine Europa 16 @ UP Film Institute

GENERAL CRITIQUES

The movie indeed is deserving of its Best Costume Design award. Costumes are not too lavishly done and yet nothing too dull either. Details of 18th Century costumes were particularly followed and it did not rob the classical essence of the designs with gaudy styles or excessively vibrant colors. I have always been fascinated by the fashion of the early century Europe. The evolution of the dresses clearly depicted the changes in society’s standards as well as with the political reformation. A particular dress will tell a lot about the history of a nation.

There are limited instances of a landscape scenery which is in accordance to the movie’s plot as most of the scenes are set and captured inside the castle. The sequencing of the events are carefully delivered which is what I admire about the movie. It doesn’t set the audience in that moment wherein a particular scene will make you recall the previous scene in order to connect the current scene and limit the “WH” questions. I must admit that when I have those questions in mind while watching the movie, it only means that there is a scene that I am baffled about, I am assessing the relevance of it to the entire movie and how it is connected from the preceding scenes. 

In other words, every scene in the movie is crystal clear. 🙂

As for the acting, the actors perfectly fit in the roles that they portrayed – appearance, aura as well as delivery of the lines. I must say the actors were indeed successful in internalizing their character roles in the movie. The age of Enlightenment has been one of my favorite eras in our study of European and American literature, political and social history. It deals with idealism, reformation towards a positive change, among many others. Although this is also the time wherein a lot of revolution took place, terror and violence erupted, conflicts arose wherein majority are unresolved but I may say, that still, the events are exemplary of a society being changed from a state of dystopia to almost utopia.

Ahhh yes, now maybe this is the reason why I became an idealist. 😉

I was greatly influenced by my long years and extensive study on Anglo-American Literature which would usually be associated to the social and political history of Europe and America. I have always been fascinated by Kings, Princesses and knights not because I love fairy tales but because it is just interesting to learn the origins of a foreign culture, most especially that of Europe and look into the totality of the transformation of a certain period/era in connection to the people and society in general.

After watching the movie, I rated it 4 out of 5 stars, 5 being the highest. If I would be given the chance to be transported back in time and be an onlooker while events are happening for real, I definitely would choose the early centuries. Suppose there is a parallel universe for that, it would be this – incredibly awesome. 

Well, what we need now is a “time machine” by H. G. Wells where we can teleport and time travel. 😀

And speaking of time traveling, because I love anything antique and vintage, and being a fashion lover, I wore something from the past when I watched the movie – a vintage dress that belonged to my Mom designed by her. If you want to know how old it is, it was worn by my mom when she was in her 20s, exactly 4 decades ago.

I hope I did give justice to my “hippie” look with matching fuchsia pink nail polish . 😉

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