1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister & Missus

Posted on August 17, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Yup, that is my hubby and me. 🙂

Will devote this post in adoration to and in honoring my spouse as we celebrate our 1st year wedding anniversary this August 17 – another great milestone. It was a time of great adjustment and testing and yet looking back, I am just grateful to God for everything – the good and the bad. It really does pay off having a great God in our lives. 🙂

When my husband courted me back then, I laid out clearly my sentiments first things first and these were my exact statements:

“I am the type of girl who is more practical than “pa-soshal” (high class/elite), who prefers a simple life than a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle and someone who isn’t enamored by sweep-me-off-the-feet moments but pursues what is not complicated, what is serious and what is sustainable. This applies in all aspects of my life.

But I have one great challenge for you – if you can’t love my God, please choose someone else to love.”

Strong words, eh? Yep, I was actually thinking now that I could have been so harsh at him that time. But I thought I still gave him that chance even if I am positive I did a “judgment thing” back there. I prayed to God to lead me in this area though. 😀

But there were also moments wherein “sweet as honey” is an understatement if I am to describe our quality time together. But do take note that our definitions of “sweet” can be relative but I’ll just describe my own definition anyhow. One of them was when I was eating this Cornetto ice cream and when he looked at me, he started laughing then approached me, gave me a tight hug and started showering me with kisses. He was amused obviously and told me he finds me like a cute kid. So I thought what was cute with a girl eating an ice cream which is quite a very normal thing. It was only after I was done eating and I went to the bathroom did I see in the mirror that there were ice cream streaks on my nose, my chin and sides of my mouth – like a child indeed. I didn’t know I eat ice cream as messy as that. lol *wink*

Another precious moment was when he dropped by a drugstore after a 2-hour travel from work to buy me medicines when I was having this migraine and how good it felt when he gave me a massage on the head to alleviate the pain. Such moments were priceless. They’re even better than the medication itself. Aside from that, he went ahead and bought us dinner and a juice drink because I wasn’t feeling well, I can’t prepare dinner and can’t leave the house. Unfortunately though, I got used to having him around most of the time, I feel so alone when he is not around. Yet I know this is God’s reminder re idolatry – no other thing or person before God. I should learn to rely on to God for my security, comfort and happiness and not solely on my husband.

There were also moments like when I was “Ms. Amnesia” and I keep on forgetting one or two ingredients from the grocery list and when I am about to cook, I would suddenly remember the ingredient. Ugh, definitely frustrating on my part and yet when I ask my hubby if he could buy me those ingredients at the wet market near our place, he would willingly do so even though he’s just got back from work. Aaah yes, this is just one of those moments that I so appreciate and love my husband – just like my Dad. ❤

I am grateful too for my husband for fulfilling the provider role 100% as he is the only one working. I am jobless by force. lol Graduate study and thesis work demanded I go full time with it. I do get to earn a little in other ways but it was hubby’s earnings that we solely rely on and yet God as the ultimate source of our provisions. Glad to say Brian and I aren’t just surviving but thriving. God is the great source of everything indeed.

One thing I admire about my husband though is when he would look after my needs before his. There’s this one time I asked him that we should buy new shorts because he’s been wearing the ones he has now for almost a decade already. He assured me there’s no need as they are all still wearable and yet when he saw that I needed to buy a laptop case, a new pair of jogging shoes, phone upgrade, etc. there he was insisting I buy them. He succeeded in convincing me because I experienced the inconvenience of not having them which inconvenienced him too. But no, like him, I don’t buy stuff if there really is no need.

There was one time too when we were watching this show and hubby and I were sort of playing the role of fashion police re a character’s shoes. Then he said out of the blue, “Hon when you start working, I am going to buy you stilettos.”

I’m like, “That’s nice of you Hon but I can’t wear stilettos in school, not especially if I am going to be a Special Education teacher.”

Then hubby insisted, “But Honey, stilettos look good on you. I don’t see any reason why you can’t wear them in school.”

Getting a bit impatient I added, “But stilettos are party shoes Hon and you only wear them on formal occasions.”

He insisted yet again, “The pointed shoes, Hon?”

Me: “Oh Honey, you mean pumps?” LOL

Brian: “Ohhhhh they’re called pumps. How would I know what’s it called, I am a guy.”

Well, I can’t blame him, can I? 😉

I consider simple, mundane moments as memorable especially when they make a huge impact in our lives like when I slowly taught him how to do things around the house and though he doesn’t like it at first, he finally got it when I told him it is in preparation for parenthood. I can’t be grateful enough and proud how he does things now on his own.

Or that time when I had this craving for a cheeseburger and asked him to buy one for me not taking into consideration there are different types of cheeseburgers. I was craving for the classic with the pickles but he bought the newest addition to cheeseburgers. It was okay but I wasn’t craving for it so I ended up telling him that I actually wanted the original. 😀

What happened next was something I did not expect. He offered to buy me the right cheeseburger. Yay! He actually just got back from work and a two-hour travel time and yet here he is offering to buy me a new one at the middle of our dinner. I asked him if it is okay with him and he said yes because I wouldn’t be enjoying my dinner anyhow. So out he went and bought the right one for me. I know he was tired from work and yet he still chose to go out and buy me a new one. To return the favor, I gave him a full body massage for about an hour which he did appreciate so much. 🙂

Those moments too when I saw a missing button in his office uniform and offered to mend it, he suggested that there is no need for he keeps it that way. Or when I saw him wearing a shirt that’s not been ironed and told him I’d iron it first but he insisted he likes it that way. Indeed, the world of two opposites – the OC and the not OC, that’s what we are. 😉

There were times when he’d also come home bringing three kinds of food for dinner and one was especially for me – he knows my favorite even without asking. Or that moment when I am “Miss OC” and he is “Mr. Laidback” and when he wakes up, he puts his deo on the desk and when I wake up, I put it back on top along with other beauty products. I find it so funny now that that kind of routine happened for about a month without me telling him what to do. I just thought he’d “duplicate” my actions if every time he wakes up and before using his deo, he would see it along with the other beauty products, without me saying a word – it worked. lol

I also had this fascinating discovery I found with my husband. Though I didn’t study dream psychology in our discipline, I made this experiment on him just for fun. My hubby grits his teeth during his R.E.M. and it disrupts my sleep big time being the light sleeper that I am. I do not want to disturb his sleep if I wake him up thus the experiment – every time he would start to grit, I just call out an expression of endearment to him and he would instantly stop. I know it has something to do with how the brain receives the sound and connects it with a memory that is pleasing, happy or calm. According to research, gritting happens due to stress. It became an amusing field of experiment for me as I watch him closely every time he is asleep and starts to grit and I would call out to him softly – he really does stop right away and it is effective all the time. Well, that is if I’m also awake. But if I’m in my deep sleep too, then I’ll be praying for our neighbors who’ll be the ones to hear it. *wink*

Seriously, I know love never demands and yet I honestly am guilty about this. I see it not as demands though but setting the boundaries in a marriage. Honestly too, in our critical times as a couple, I think I have asked the question to myself if he is really the one for me or I have made the wrong decision when I chose to marry him. But as months grew longer of us being a couple, I started to realize that God never makes mistakes nor did He plans for things to fail. It is the other way around – always for our own good.

PRESERVING THE LOVE: My 2-year old preserved rose from our very first Valentine’s Day date when hubby was my bf then.

I see myself loving my husband even more now. I appreciate having him around and my love for him just goes deeper with every conflict and struggle that we go through and overcome together. I know he is God’s best for me. I used to be blinded by the negativity of my situations around me and in front of us and yet I see it now that God wanted me to trust Him, honor what He has given me and train myself to look at the finish line and not the journey per se nor how rocky or smooth the road is.

If this is a test of character, then I have to go thru it and pass it according to God’s standards. But more importantly, God gave me an answer that yes, I can trust my husband if I trust God first that my husband will be leading me and our future family and that yes, I have made the right decision in choosing him as my husband.

I once asked my husband why a couple has to have opposite types of personalities and backgrounds and he said just like what everybody says that it is for a couple to complement one another. Yes, God knows better than all of us so why question everything around us? Maybe all we need to recognize is the fact that God is in control of everything and settle for that.

“God has different plans for each of us. We might feel that others have an easier assignment, or a more glamorous role to play. But if our loving Father has handpicked us for our task, who are we to whisper, “I can’t do this”?” – ODB

I know this is just the beginning and just a few of the memories that my husband and I are going to build and share together until death do us part. If you will notice, I have only shared the good memories from the past year which, as we all know, are not what only happens in married life for real. But I thought it best to share the good stuff to maintain the positivity and the good vibes. It is God that I intend to glorify anyway and not the enemy. 🙂

Indeed, it is not the accomplishments nor the possessions we have in life that will sustain us come old age, but our relationship with God and the people closest to us whom we love and love us back. We have so many things to be grateful for and those are the things that are simple, mundane, mediocre and oftentimes we take for granted. All we need to do is appreciate them as part of God’s blessings to us – like having a spouse for one. No other couple relationship is as fulfilling, as secure and as meaningful as the one bound by God and the Holy Matrimony.

To the married folks out there, keep the laughter and the love overflowing between you and your spouse at all times putting God at the center. ❤ 🙂

“For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised and uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” – Galatians 5:6

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” – Hebrews 13:4

“Giving honor to marriage will require the utmost in Christian conviction and sensitivity. Modern social theory may redefine the family, and the new definitions may be far from its biblical foundation. What can you do? Witness to the depth of God’s love for you by keeping your marriage happy and strong. Remain faithful-in body and in mind. Pray for your spouse. Honor biblical marriage (consenting man-woman unions) by resisting political pressure to recognize and legalize other sexual preferences. Teach children the biblical meaning of marriage. Pray early for their own eventual spouses and families. Make marriage enrichment the goal of your small group discussions and study. Encourage the marriages around you to stay strong as well.” – You Version Devotion

P.S./P.R.

Okay, the P.R. there stands for the Praise Report. 😀

We are finally connected with a couples’ victory group in church that fits to our schedule. This is one of my faith goals ever since we got married and been praying about it since then. But I am continuously praying this will be the spiritual family that Brian and I will be growing together as we tread on the season of married life. There are also other things, amazing and surprising things, that I’d like to thank God for but I thought I’ll just keep that between me and God in my quiet time with Him – this post is already too long. 😉

A Marriage vs. A Wedding

Posted on June 4, 2016 by Christine Lailani

“A God-centered marriage matters more to God than a grand wedding.”

This was a reminder to me even before Brian and I chose to have our civil wedding first. We were both aware that when we signed our marriage contracts, a marriage is not just a piece of paper that you sign on – it is a Holy Matrimony, a sacred covenant. It just makes me sad when I see marriages that failed. I know I have no right to meddle in what a couple went through in their marriages and assume what decision is best for them except to pray about it and yet it was one of my goals to somehow enlighten them in keeping one of God’s greatest blessings which is the marriage – the foundation of every family where children are born and raised as future citizens, successors and disciples in our society.

This is probably the reason why I took the risk of sharing sensitive situations regarding conflicts that my husband and I go through hoping that many will be able to appreciate that they are not alone in what they are going through as a couple. That they, too, might realize marriages are sometimes painful and yet sometimes it is joyful too. I was hoping that realizations such as putting God at the center of the marriage along with prayers make all the difference for as long as not one of the couple gives up. Or if even one gives up, then the other should do the effort to save it regardless who is at fault or if he/she will be making most of the sacrifices.

The goal should always be to keep the covenant intact and always look at the finish line of every marriage which is “until death do us part.” Never give up and give one another a room for mistakes and a chance to grow. It is also best to always remember to keep the faith no matter what and that there is no perfect couple, no perfect marriage but one perfect God who makes all things possible.

Honestly, there was one time a couple of months back wherein my husband and I had this very huge fight that ended in us giving in to weaknesses and anger ruled the most part of that fight resulting to me asking him to pack his things up and leave me. I went upstairs and left him packing his stuff.

God intervened – my husband can’t find his passport. He came up to me twice asking about it and I saw in his eyes how hurt he was and pleading silently that I let him stay. But pride took over me and pride took over him as well – no apologies took place from either of us. That missing passport moment was the Spirit’s way of stalling him from storming out of the house and the opportunity for me to apologize and let things go back to normal.

Yes, we regret that we allowed sin to rule our hearts that night. I took my headphones and listened to the radio. Yet another divine intervention took place as I ended up listening to a Christian radio station. Now this gave me peace and an urge to apologize right away and stop him from leaving but I shrugged it off and decided to sleep my exhaustion off.

A good and a bad thing – good, the Spirit was there all along; bad, my husband took off in the middle of the night taking a bus going to their house in the province. I woke up 3hours after with this scenario and I was aghast when I found out he really did take me seriously when I asked him to leave the house. I was confident he wouldn’t do it.

So my wifey instinct came all rushing in and I began to worry BIG time. What if something happened on his way home, he got mugged or stabbed or got beaten up by drunkards. YES, I panicked and I can never forgive myself when that happened. So I called him even if it is 3 am already. I know I had to because that is the right thing to do.

He answered my call. WHEW! Big sigh of relief there. The first thing I asked was if he was home and what followed was my apology. Told me he was about to sleep as he and his mom were talking. He told me we will talk things out in the morning.

When he got back home the next day, he told me that when he was already at the bus with all his stuff, something in him says that what he is doing is wrong and he should turn back. But part of him says that he’s already in the bus anyway so he might as well push through in going to his Mom’s place.

I told my husband that the one part that tells you what you are doing is bad and urges you to do it the right way, that is the Spirit living inside you whilst the one that says continue sinning, that is the work of the enemy.

We were already advised in the Marriage Preparation seminar in church to never leave when tough times hit home. His mom advised him the same thing saying both of us will be more vulnerable to temptations and attacks of the enemy if we choose to separate than talk the problem out. We learned our lesson quite the hard way there but as what his mom told us, it is a good thing forgiveness of each other’s faults and reconciliation took place within just a matter of hours. She continued that we might never know what greater damage we could have brought upon our marriage if we held on to anger, pride and more sins.

We vowed to never again let the same incident happen. Anger is really one of the enemy’s ways to steal, kill and destroy. Don’t give him the advantage. EVER. We are well aware though that this is only the beginning of even greater battles with the enemy.

Back to weddings and marriages, if time comes I’ll end up like my Mom who chose to be married through a civil wedding only, then I’ll accept it as God’s will but I will choose to honor God instead on how I deal with my spouse and how I handle issues in our marriage obeying God’s commands and laws. Just a little trivia on me: I hate being on the spotlight (the introverted me). I ended up asking my eldest sister to assign me with the very least spotted role during her wedding 14 years ago and it took months before my brother was able to convince me to be one of the bridesmaids on his wedding day last year. 😀 So having a civil wedding was already perfectly fine with me. But I just felt I still need to have a church wedding, in God’s perfect time.

My husband and I have already made plans that if circumstances and God’s plans will not allow the church wedding to take place sooner, we will have it in our 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary. Well, that’s for me. Unfortunately my husband thinks we’ll be too old by then and told me he’d love to have it on our Silver Wedding Anniversary instead. I asked him if he is worried about the idea that one of us will have amnesia we wouldn’t remember who we got wed to or what the celebration is for, he just laughed. Okay, I guess I nailed the truth as for his reason why. 😀

Even before I got into a relationship I have already set my mind to have a small, intimate wedding. Intimate in a way that I intend my dream church wedding be held on top of a high mountain with clouds surrounding everywhere and only the officiating Pastor, me and my groom will be present. The spectacular view to me is just so surreal and it portrays how magnificent our God is and His creations. I was able to experience it first during my community outreach/field work in one of my classes in my graduate study and I was overwhelmed by the experience which made me decide that this is the perfect wedding scenario for me. You can read more of it here: https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/benguet-the-trip-up-north/

If you have read the article, I mentioned that awesome moment as “Heaven here on Earth…”

Yes, that is exactly the reason why I wanted my church wedding to be where I am closest to God. The clouds reminded me of God, I just feel His strong presence when I see the clouds. One of the biggest oaths I have made for the rest of my life was during my wedding day which is an oath of commitment with my spouse in front of God. A wedding is all about God and the Holy Matrimony. I thought it better if the general feel of my dream church wedding would be something really solemn – a moment wherein me and my husband will be able to connect with God deeply, sincerely and with less distractions as possible.

We do plan to invite our parents as a way of honoring them as well as the rest of our friends and families. I know that they will be part of our lives forever and will be witnesses how our relationship as a married couple has grown throughout the years thus they will be an essential part of our church wedding. I know that they, too, will honor the special moment that my husband and I will be making.

Basically this is a deviation – a form of going against the norms when it comes to weddings. In the same way that having a civil wedding doesn’t make your marriage less holy as compared to a church wedding – it still is the union of a husband and a wife, God’s commands. Do allow me to delve deeper as to my own personal reasons why the kind of wedding that you have, civil or church, simple or grand doesn’t matter but on how you handle your marriage. But of course, in the end, we all have our own ways how to have our own weddings.

It doesn’t matter for me what gown I will be wearing, what we will be serving our guests, where we will be married and who will be our guests because a wedding for me takes place every single day. In every single day that you wake up, you affirm the vow that you made with your spouse. More so when both you and your spouse are being tested by the enemy to break and destroy God’s beautiful promises for you both. I cannot let that happen. There may be a little pride somewhere deep down of me still, but I can’t let the enemy win. I guess I’ll be rooting all my pride there – never let the enemy win.

God will appreciate a marriage centered on Him than a church wedding but without Him in the couple’s lives. For without God in the marriage, the marriage will surely fail and it’ll crumble. This leads to divorce which, as we all know, is strictly not allowed in the bible.

The bible has this to say about it:

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” – Mark 10:6-12

My only challenge to every couple like what my brother would always tell me every time I am on the verge of giving up on my husband and my marriage is that always look at the end goal and always keep in mind the vows that you have made before each other in the presence of the Lord as our way of honoring Him and the gift that He gave us which is our free will – our choice to marry this person and the choice to be with him/her forever.

For church weddings, these are examples of the vows exchanged between the groom and the bride:

Groom:

“Bride, knowing that it is God’s will for me to marry you, I make a commitment to you today, in the presence of our Lord, and before all these witnesses, to love you with an unconditional love. I will be faithful to you always, never leaving you nor forsaking you. I will lead, guide, protect, and provide. I will live with you in an understanding way, being thoughtful of your needs. I will honor you as a fellow heir of God’s grace. I commit myself to fulfill God’s plan for my life – to provide loving leadership and spiritual covering for you and our children. I commit to co-labor with you in the building of the Church and the advancement of God’s Kingdom, until the day Jesus returns in all His glory.”

Bride:

“Groom, knowing that it is God’s will for me to marry you, I make a commitment to you today, before God Almighty and before all these people to become your wife and helpmate. I commit to love you and submit to you as my spiritual covering. I will not hinder you but will inspire and encourage you as the head of our household. I commit to co-labor with you in the building of the Church and the advancement of God’s Kingdom until Jesus returns in all His glory.”

These vows were not made by men but instructed by God. Basically if we choose to not obey these, then we are disobeying God and we are breaking the covenant with Him. Yet for circumstances wherein divorce is really necessary, the bible also has this to say:

“But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.” – 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Trials and challenges are part of love. Love is part of every couple. Every couple comprises a marriage. A marriage is the foundation of a family. A family is where children are born. Children are the next citizens that will comprise the society and more than that, they will be the future disciples of God. We are honoring God if we are bringing up our children in a Godly home.

The trials that we encounter in our marriages are God’s way of preparing us so we can be strong spiritual mentors, rooted in our faith and will become good examples to our children who will certainly follow our steps when they grow older, one way or the other.

We will never appreciate the beauty of salvation through the Cross if there is no circumstance that brought us to our knees.

We can never teach our kids this if we, ourselves, didn’t go through it.

I am supposed to research if there has been standards on what a church wedding should be like in the bible or what we are doing now is purely traditional and cultural but not biblical. As far as I know the bible cites many instances about marriages but not on weddings per se i.e. there should be a long line of entourage, a whole week of wedding celebration, etc.

Do enlighten me though on this so I could write it on another blog post. This one’s already too long. *wink* But just a couple more ideas before I wrap this up so please bear with me my dear readers. *smiles*

I have two memorabilia that I believe are the only things that are important in every marriage – the engagement ring which symbolizes my husband’s promise to commit to an even bigger promise and the wedding ring which symbolizes the fulfillment of that bigger promise. That BIG promise is to be together until death do us part.

This is the challenge I have for myself as a wife every single day: fight for your spouse, fight for God in your marriage and save your marriage from anything and anyone who wants to ruin it by means of prayers. More importantly, seek for God’s protection, healing and guidance ALL the time.

Will share these two bible verses that might help when trouble comes in your marriage (or future marriage). The first is my brother’s key verse in his wedding followed by my key verse in our wedding:

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

“There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear…” – 1 John 4:18

Do not fear anyone, do not fear the problem nor the enemy BUT have faith that we have a God who makes the impossible possible.

I also would like to honor my parents in this article as they celebrated last June 1st their 43rd Wedding Anniversary. Hooray! Praise be to God for this. 🙂

I am just grateful to God for giving me parents who are exemplars on how it is to keep a marriage intact through God’s love and His guidance. I look up to the marriage of my Dad and Mom, along with the marriages of my eldest sister and my brother, as examples of couples who continuously persevere in living out 1 Corinthians 13 and remain constant in putting God at the center of their marriages through the good and the bad.

My prayers are with you that regardless if you got married through a civil or a church wedding, in any battle that you and your spouse will go through, both of you will overcome it by God’s grace. Invite Him in your marriages and include Him in every day of your lives together.

If they can do it, then we also can for we all have God with us. 🙂 ❤

“It takes a risk to get involved, but how many marriages could have been salvaged, how many relationships healed, how many bad decisions averted, if someone had loved enough to warn?” – Pastor Rick Warren

The “Promise” Rings

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Christine Lailani

(Disclaimer: This is a very long post but definitely worth the read.) 🙂

I believe many are already familiar what promise rings are. But in case some of you still are unfamiliar with it, this is a definition I got from Wikipedia:

“A Promise ring symbolizes a commitment to a promise and is given to a person as a token or reminder of his/her decision…”

But I guess what we could highlight in this definition is this: commitment to a promise.

But before I get on to that, do allow me to share just a quick update regarding my current status. If you have been one of my avid readers, you would know by now that my fiance and I decided to take a two-week “cool off” period wherein we were back to being single and strangers? Definitely not. For God was faithful enough to have kept our communication going and again, not let our hearts be hardened by the negative circumstances that we went through.

We haven’t had the time to personally talk things out and just prayed to God to guide us through the week so we could re-align our plans and our thoughts with His. I shared in my previous articles that during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, I asked God for assurances if the decisions and the commitments I have made were indeed according to His will.

It was hard to let go of a person you love so much, but when God asks you to, you have no choice but to obey just like what Abraham did when he was ready to sacrifice his son’s (Isaac) life. You don’t know in that moment of decision-making why God asked you to. But if you are to ask me if indeed it was what God wanted, I can answer with “yes” for the decision came during our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.

And yet during those 3 days of Prayer and Fasting, I also asked God if I should let him go completely or was it something temporary, a “breather” so that the two of us could see His beautiful promise and not drown ourselves in the multitude of conflicts we are having – sort of a reminder where our relationship should be going and how we should be loving each other, God’s way.

Came the sign which I shared in my More Revelations (Part 2) article about my fiance’s name. All I had at that time were prayers and my faith and all that ever mattered to me was conversing with my God and nothing else. Yet, I have put my trust and hopes in God and God alone.

Two weeks passed.

In those two weeks, I was more in tune to the Spirit’s leading. Revelations upon revelations, tangible assurances, more Godly wisdom, more of God’s wonders working anywhere and anytime, everything was all about God. I was able to experience freedom by the end of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, answers were given, Godly wisdom on generational curses, learning about what was plaguing me for the past years without me realizing it, until eventually this word popped out – fear.

Fast forward to last weekend, my fiance asked me for a chance to talk things out personally. I always declined saying we should wait upon God for His right time. I thought about seeking counsel from my first spiritual mentor, my brother, and this was his advice:

Brotherly advice from a brother in Christ and my brother for real. 😉

I listened to my brother and continued praying until came the time when my fiance asked me again if he could see me last Saturday, to which I said “yes.” We were able to talk some matters over the phone the past days but I know there are still more that were left unsaid, more that need to be said and more that are better said in person.

An out-pour of prayers came, we met and then came the moment of that big question: “Are you really ready in your heart for this commitment, this big commitment which is marriage?”

Both our answers were a “yes.” The agreement was then mutual. Apologies were said and accepted, love overruled. So there we were continuing on from where we ended. When I made this re-commitment, I felt that I was making a pledge that indeed, no matter what happens, like what my brother said, there’s no more backing out. Fight for faith, continue hoping and most especially fight for love.

I have always believed that God planned everything, and I mean everything from the smallest details and the mundane to the biggest and the marvelous. This includes dates and numbers.

For the date, I thought there must be something to the date when I felt I was ready to talk with my fiance or should I say, it was already God’s perfect time. I am aware that the enemy is also working full time to destroy what God’s plans are. And of course, we all know that the holy matrimony is one of God’s best creations. For in a holy marriage and through marriages future disciples and spiritual leaders are born. But I know for sure as well that God won’t allow a marriage to fall apart if He allowed the union to be part of His even greater plans.

So why Saturday, July 12, 2015?

Okay, I remembered. I was just this total amnesia girl that I forgot it was the day before our 18th monthsary as a couple. 😀

“Praise be to God” was all I could blurt out. What a beautiful way to reconcile. Indeed, there is always something to celebrate after God gave us some time away from our troubles so we could appreciate the beauty that God has created in our relationship. The first week that we had our “break time,” his engagement proposal happened. Yesterday was our 18th monthsary, July 12 – what an awesome, wonderful way to celebrate it. I need not ask for any gift or special way to celebrate it, except I could only offer in return a heart full of gratitude to my Father up above who wished for nothing else but a better life for His sons and daughters.

So the day ended with a smile. I slept with a peaceful heart.

Early Sunday morning, July 12, our monthsary day, I suddenly woke up. I felt the need to urinate. So down I went, drank a glass of water and headed upstairs. When I got back to bed, I was so wide awake as if I haven’t slept at all. I checked the clock, it’s 3:03am. Wow, that is the same time for the past months that I wake up every now and then and could not sleep for no apparent reason at all. The very recent prior to this was the night before I broke up with my fiance and thought I heard someone calling my name. It was during that moment that I contemplated and decided to let him go.

But this time it was different. Here I was in bed staring at the ceiling with a smile on my lips reminiscing the events that happened the day before. Yes, I thought maybe because I just cannot contain my happiness that my fiance and I were back together. Then a phrase just popped up in my head all of a sudden – “real love drives out fear.”

Okay, now where did that come from? It was not even connected to my current thought – recalling yesterday’s events. And the phrase sounded right but not really right to me. But I was sure I have heard or read it somewhere, somehow. So what I did, I grabbed my phone, turned my WiFi on and searched ever reliable Google with the phrase/sentence. And the search results centered on only one thought – a bible verse which says:

1 John 4:18 ESV

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

Okay, so that explained why it popped up – I definitely have read this before but my synapses could not just particularly locate that memory bank where I stored it. But thank God for technology, I can easily locate those lost memories by giving me something to remember them through more additional information and clues.

And I smiled even more when upon seeing the search results, the top 3 sources that came up were from the ministries that I highly look up to as a Christian: Joyce Meyer, Rick Warren and Desiring God. I don’t believe in coincidences and I believe God has a reason for waking me up at this hour. So I started reading all 3 articles by said authors and I found 3 words common in all 3 articles: perfect love, God’s love and fear.

Allow me to share some of the screenshots I took for documentation purposes and do take note of the time. For I will be sharing more revelations in the succeeding paragraphs.

Joyce Meyer

Rick Warren

Desiring God

But going back to the bible verse, I was having my dose of Godly wisdom when a question popped in my head again: “why does it have to be “real love”? Usually, for the bible verses, most of the time I get the phrases correct especially if they are the usual bible verses that I have been encountering during devotion time. 1 John 4:18 was not an exemption for I have read it quite a couple of times already. And yet what was with the phrase “real love?” Where did it come from? I am sure I have encountered it somewhere too, something that has quite that significance to me for me to be able to somehow store it in my long term memory but could not point out exactly where.

Then came the “Eureka!” moment and I almost laughed aloud. For this was where I have seen it and now I know why it was retained because it is that significant. The following is a photo of the “dummy” rings that my fiance and I bought a couple months back as during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church, we were advised to use “dummy” rings in the actual wedding ceremony as the real thing might be misplaced and eventually lose them because of all the preparations and the hectic activities lined up for the said event. It was the first thing that we bought and we really don’t know why back then. 😀

I was actually the one who suggested we buy the rings when I browsed online for wedding rings. And I know it was not a coincidence that I felt the urge though I do not know why. But I acted upon it and I believe it was not also a coincidence when came the time that my fiance and I were choosing what ring design would best fit us and this particular design came into our hands. My first choice was a glittery ring but when my fiance tried it, his feminine, slim hands, looked REALLY feminine. So, it was a no-no for us.

The second choice was a plain silver band but then again there’s no available size for my fiance. Then this was the point that the shop owner suggested another pair. I didn’t like it at first. Because I wanted the rings to just have a clean and simple finish since it’s just going to be a “dummy” ring. I mean, it wouldn’t really matter for what matters would be our actual wedding rings. But then again, this pair was the only pair wherein the wedding ring for the groom fitted my fiance’s ring finger just right. And one more thing, I don’t like rings with inscriptions at the outer side of the ring. Well, let’s say I am still a bit old fashioned when it comes to these things. 😀

But in the end, I conceded that we buy this design with an inscription engraved at the outer side of the ring and an engraving of one half of a heart for each ring between the inscription. If you combine the rings, it’ll form into the shape of a heart.

“Real Love”

The rings weren’t significant to me for they are just “dummies.” BUT I was wrong – totally wrong. For now, I felt like they are the most important rings we will ever wear. Why?

Going back to the “real love” phrase, I was just amazed when I remembered that this was the inscription engraved on the “dummy” rings. And what was even more amazing was that the revelation with the verse and my interchanging “perfect love” with “real love” was God’s way of reminding me of His promise to me and Brian – marriage. He wanted me to realize that this is real/perfect love – it drives out fear.

Fear.

Now it dawned on me. This was not about fears in my past, fears in my childhood days but fears that I was unaware I have been bringing in the relationship with my fiance. It was out of fear that we had the conflicts. It was out of fear of the punishments from the past mistakes. It was out of fear of so many things that eventually came to me fearing the worst that could happen in our relationship. It was fear that ruled the relationship.

And this was a portion of the article that made me see the clarity of it all:

God pulled us out of the relationship to protect us from our own fears and gave us hope instead. God wanted to teach us that that was not how He intended our relationship to be. Because fear did not come from Him. Reading the articles further just brought me once again in that state of utmost humility – being humbled by God’s presence through the revelations.

God’s presence.

This made me think about once again the idea of me waking up at around 3am and why the number 3 proved to be very significant to me like the day of my salvation which was 3/3/13 (which I shared in my previous articles) and was always included in His bigger revelations. Was it God? Did it come from an angel? I was still baffled and yet I know there’s an explanation somehow behind it. So I typed at Google search once again and checked out if there is somehow a biblical significance with the number 3 and the time. The following were the search results that turned up:

The 3 is always there – even my bookmarks came down to 3.

The Prophetic News

The Prophetic News

The Prophetic News

There really is something about names. Mine is Christine. 🙂

Spirit Daily

Spirit Daily

This was another big revelation. Although the moment I read that 3am is also the time where Satan is at work, came the terrifying fear that I might be possessed by a demon or vulnerable of being possessed. Because I admit I do experience some waking up moments at around 3am feeling a heavy feeling in my heart. But for the recent events, they were mostly uplifting and enlightening.

BUT I think my God went before me, for He knows I will seek for answers and He already assured me through the bible verse I have mentioned above. As the article mentioned, the Spirit commanded him to stand on His Word. Fear does not come from God. So most likely, Satan was also trying to butt in. But sorry, not sorry that I am already protected by my loving God. 🙂

I just felt the need to browse a little more and stumbled across a forum regarding the biblical significance of 3am. And one comment just struck me the most:

Yes, I believe it was and is all for a greater calling. A calling that involves a greater harvest. A calling that calls for a preparation towards a significant event. Our God is calling out.

And I believe in my church, our spiritual leaders have already prophesied this. For yesterday’s prayer, led by a sister in Christ who is also a spiritual leader, was all about fear. I really don’t believe in coincidence. 😉

So with that I rest my case, and I am just smiling even more as I type this. For it was one of my prayers to God to give me a bible verse during my wedding that is not the usual bible verse I encounter during Christian weddings such as:

1 John 4:19 ESV

“We love because He first loved us.”

So He gave me a different verse instead – a verse that will have a personal significance and impact not just to me, but a verse that will seal the commitment of what “real love” should be for both me and my fiance along with a symbol of that commitment – the “promise” rings.

It was not just a promise/reminder/covenant between me and my fiance to commit to each other until death do us part but most importantly, it symbolizes God’s beautiful promise for us both – God’s advance wedding gift to us. And this reminds me of The God Triangle:

Photo credit: thewerners.org

Now this is perfect/real love: love is God and God is love. So yes, basically, I just can’t help but thank my God every single day for literally E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. ❤

P.S.

My chosen bible verse for the wedding was not because I chose it but God chose it for me and it was the verse that came just before 1 John 4:19. So I believe it still is in the context of bible verses perfect for Christian weddings. 😉

Here’s a video about God restoring what was lost if we seek Him FIRST.

And here’s a text from him tonight, nothing can ever make me smile the sweetest except when I see the word “pray.” 😀

Our God is indeed a God who restores and redeems. 🙂

April Full

Posted on May 21, 2015 by Christine Lailani

An escape away from the city.

Yup, it was so full. Not about April Fool’s Day though. 😉

If you have noticed, I don’t have an entry for the entire month of April. That is because I was swamped with a lot of activities last month, I only got to “breathe” and check my blog now. I still am a bit busy but not as hectic as compared with the sched last month.

So first things first.

My sister arrived from Norway and decided we have a family outing and relaxation this summer. But before that, we met one of our titos, my Dad’s brother, Tito Cesar and my cousin Arra for a get together/ lunch at Escolta then the day after it was followed by a family dinner with the family of my brother’s wife.

Lunch with Tito Cesar and Arra at Escolta. 🙂

Dinner with the Silvestre family at Pinac restaurant. 🙂

Pinac Family Day

For our family summer outing this year, my eldest sister chose Luljetta Hanging Gardens located at Antipolo as she personally knows the owner and it is just an hour away from the busy metro.

My eldest sister, Ate Faye. 🙂

One of their infinity pools. This one is the biggest.

When we got to the place, I fell in love with it. The scenery may not be as spectacular as I have expected but if you opt for a quiet place where you could commune with nature and be rejuvenated, this is exactly the place to be.

He is…errr…uhmm….contemplating? Perhaps. 😀

Side of the infinity pool.

Restaurant that caters local and international cuisines.

The Zen lounge.

A place to sit and relax.

I recommend this if you, your friends or families intend to have a retreat. There are quotations and phrases that uplift the heart and soul as you pass by the trail.

The garden.

Love is….

Uplifting quotations everywhere.

Guessing by its name, the spa and hanging gardens were carved and placed right on the side of a mountain. It was the architecture of the place that, for me, made it awesome.

But there is one restriction though that this place may posit – there are trails that are far too steep, it will not be convenient to those who are old enough to climb a hundred stairs.

Steep stairs, by the cliff.

Reading nook.

Cabana

The jacuzzi.

Sauna and jacuzzi.

The other infinity pool. This is perfect for kids.

Inside the Buddha’s lounge.

Intricate interiors made from raw local materials.

The way to the lounge.

But the good thing is that if you wish to use the spa only, it is easily accessible by anyone. Only the infinity pools, the sauna, the hydromassage pool and the Dr. Fish are situated right down below the hotel. Their restaurant is also located at the terrace of the hotel.

One of the Dr. Fish pools.

Hydromassage Pool

There goes the heavy downpour! 🙂

Hydromassage pool.

Bubbles are everywhere. 😉

Perfect for back aches.

Lunch time.

Adobo.

The hydromassage pool and Dr. Fish are new to me so it was the first thing that we tried when we got there. It was a very funny experience for us so I took a video of all the fun. 😉

The hydromassage pool can be compared to a big jacuzzi and there are two bars that have rainshowers-like splatters pouring out. I wasn’t able to experience getting drenched under a heavy downpour, not even when I was a kid, so this experience was one of the most memorable I must say. 😉

The place is perfect for couples as well on a honeymoon as geographically, you won’t be able to see other visitors coming here and going there except perhaps during the peak season.

We were able to have our spa session a few minutes before the sunset. So we chose the outdoor massage and they usually conduct the session in a nipa hut of your choice beside the cliff overlooking the cityscape. It is just the perfect time to relax before dinner time or in the case of my parents, they scheduled a session a couple of hours before bedtime.

Our merienda, one of Antipolo’s delicacies paired with lemon grass iced tea before the spa session.

Goodbye city life for now.

It is spa time. 🙂

The outdoor massage nipa huts.

Flowery

The restaurant at Taktak Hall.

Another first-time experience that I had is being in a seat that goes up and makes a full 360 rotation. It is called Dream Twister and one of the newest attractions at SM Mall of Asia.

Sunset walk before trying the Dream Twister. 🙂

My fiance and I are always up for challenging activities and so I asked him if we could try it together. And of course, how could he say no? 😉

So up we went and it was the most exhilirating experience I have had. I think it is even challenging than doing bungee jumping or sky diving because the seats rotate then goes up and down, fast and slow. Imagine being held by a giant while he is walking and he is swaying his arms – that is the exact feeling. It was so fun I definitely will try it again. 🙂

Let the FUN BEGIN!!! 😀

And of course, the highlight for the month of April was my brother’s military wedding. I have been one of their witnesses how their union as a couple started. They met through the singles’ getaway in one of our churches, Victory Fort, and as they say, the rest is history.

My sister-in-law is my brother’s first girlfriend and I have so much admiration for my brother for he stayed true to his commitment when he told me that his first girlfriend will also be his last as she will be the one he is going to marry.

Here are some photos during one of the best milestones of their lives together as a couple:

Me and my sisters, Ate Ayn and Ate Abeden. 🙂

The princesses of the Ginete family. 🙂

All the ladies in the house. 😉

The Ginete fam bam. 🙂

My mom. 🙂

The Casis family missing the owner of the uniform. 😉

Me and my ever goofy fiance. 😀

The retired civil engineer and retired grade school teacher – my parents. 😉

I believe that it is also God who fulfilled that commitment for him until come that day wherein my brother is now in front of God making one of his greatest commitments – the Holy Matrimony.

I just feel blessed and grateful that I now look up to them as the couple who may not have the perfect relationship but persevered to keep it in reverence to the Lord and His beautiful promises for both of them.

Having said that, I will leave you with this video which captured their most special moment that no words could describe. 🙂

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