The Journeyman’s Moments’ Grace-Filled 8 Years: A Sweet Anniversary

Posted on October 21, 2020 by Christine Lailani

Nothing is sweeter than logging in on your blog and finding this among your notifications. Indeed,

“This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalm 118:24

It’s such a great blessing to know so many wonderful people and read their amazing stories through this blog. It was God who made all these things possible so all glory belongs to Him always.

The journey continues, my dear friends, sisters, and brothers in Christ, and I am looking forward to more grace-filled blogging years through the WordPress community. ❤️

Always a journeyman who’s out on a spiritual adventure to complete the task set by the Master,

More of God’s Beautiful Promises in 2020: A Testimony of His GRACE

Posted on January 11, 2020 by Christine Lailani

The night before kami lumuwas papunta ng Maynila galing sa hometown ko sa Bicol after the holidays last January 3, hubby asked me kung magiging successful ang plan namin to have a baby this 2020. Nag-smile lang ako saying na ‘di ko masasagot tanong nya and only God knows.

The next day habang nasa byahe, naisipan namin to grab a quick breakfast sa any Jobee branch (we were craving for Jollibee) na madaanan namin. We finally found one at dahil walang parking slot na available, naisipan namin na mag-drive thru at mag-stop na lang sa tabi ng daan and eat our breakfast.

A Glimpse of His Promise

Pero bago dumating, may naaninag akong 1/4 na rainbow sa kalangitan. Tinuro ko kay Brian and sabi ko may konting rainbow akong nakita. Rainbows always fascinate me because they remind me of God’s awesome wonders.

Ilang meters ahead lang from Jobee may nakita kaming malawak na daan, and we decided to pull over. Habang nilalabas ang mga pagkain, pagtingala ko nakita ko ang rainbow na unti-unting nabubuo sa harap namin until it became a perfect one simula isang dulo hanggang sa kabila. Sa sobrang tuwa, naisipan namin ni Brian na magpa-picture kasama ito.

The Covenant of God

And yet kung gaano sya kabilis lumitaw, ganun din sya kabilis nalusaw. After ilang seconds lang of being complete, unti-unti na syang nawala. It was just the perfect time and the perfect place to witness a perfect rainbow – unang magandang bagay sa pagpasok ng taong 2020.

It was also the first time I saw a full rainbow sa buong buhay ko. While eating at ‘di pa rin maka-get over sa nakita naming full rainbow, ningitian ko si Brian sabay biro ng, “Hon, tinanong mo ako kagabi, ayan na ang sagot ni God sa’yo.” 😁

A Symbol of Hope and New Beginnings

Sa Bible, ang rainbow ay pinakita ni God kay Noah as a sign of His covenant sa Kanyang promises kay Noah and his family. This was after God flooded the Earth (the Great Flood) for 40 days and 40 nights and only Noah and his family tsaka a pair of every creation ni God survived. It is symbolic of a new beginning and a promise of God’s faithfulness sa mga tao.

Albay/Bicol/Region V

Indeed, when we ask God ng kahit ano, He never fails to answer. Minsan hindi talaga ‘yung sagot na gusto natin. But oftentimes it is an assurance na naririnig Nya tayo, and that He is with us always.

We may have our doubts, worries, and fears about what 2020 may bring. Pero sumagot na ang Dios na He will go before us at wala tayong dapat ipangamba. In return, this is what God asks from us – undying faith all the way, all the time. Dahil ganyan din Sya sa atin.

I believe rainbows can only represent 3 things – a sign of God’s peace, promise, and patience. 🙏❤️🙂

—————-

“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13

“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15

—————-

Always claiming God’s beautiful promises every year,

P. S.

Ngayon lang naka-post dahil nag-social media fasting ako from Jan 6-10 as part of the Prayer and Fasting 2020 sa church. 🙏🙂

P. S. 2

‘Yung electric post sa gitna parang itsurang Cross, noh? 👍🏼👍🏼 😁

Bible Verses 10/19/2019

Posted on October 19, 2019 by Christine Lailani

When the scheming enemy strikes you with his attacks, DECLARE this Bible verse boldly:

And if he strikes again and again, CLAIM this verse:

And lastly, PRAY. 🙏🙂

Fighting and praying with you in this spiritual battle,

Make Praying Your Daily Habit

Posted on November 13, 2017 by Christine Lailani

At home, my husband and I made it a habit to take turns in praying before bedtime and before mealtime. This is regardless if we are going through tough times or good times. We intend our future kids to do the same for the following reasons:

1. They learn how to pray regardless of their ages. The little one (early grade schooler) can say a line or a 3-line prayer while for the older one (pre-teens), 5 sentences (so precise, Tin. lol) can be enough. 😉

2. You teach them responsibility and accountability at an early age. This will give them the confidence to take on leadership roles in the future and be accountable for it. They will have to choose what to pray for.

If they ask, “Mom/Dad, I don’t know what to pray for.” You can simply say, “Listen carefully when Dad or Mom prays. You may pray the same things but when you are older, pray from your heart and what your heart is telling you.”

3. They learn to address us, parents, as spiritual leaders of the household. We are the mentors, we guide them, we set the examples. They will copy what they observe, thus, it is best to leave a legacy behind that is worth following/copying.

4. They learn to say grace, to extend grace, and to receive grace from God who provides all – a great opportunity to introduce and build faith in the family.

If you and your family don’t pray together, make it a habit now. Remember, it is also our responsibility as parents to lead them well while they are still young. 🙂

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” – Proverbs 22:6

Resting in His Saving and Amazing Grace

Posted on May 19, 2017 by Christine Lailani

“Do one thing: Live the life you always wanted to live. Avoid criticizing others and concentrate on fulfilling your dreams. This may not seem very important to you, but God, who sees all, knows that the example you give is helping Him to improve the world. And each day, He will bestow more blessings upon it.”

– Manuscript of Accra, Paulo Coehlo

I can see the cursor blinking in and out like an ellipsis….

So many words and yet so many ways to tell, undecided…

….how do I begin? 🙂

Yes, how do I begin testifying to a series of events that piled up already and yet I couldn’t find the “tugging” to post them until just now? *wink* Honestly, I still don’t have the slightest idea how to arrange the thoughts which have been sitting as a draft since February here in WordPress and share them. Yet I can only trust the Spirit’s leading on how the wordplay will come about in this post.

The posts in this blog for the past 2-3 years have been about nothing else but faith. This was how God intended it to be. Though for the first year of this blog I was grappling on what to write about, now, it is the other way around – I am battling with time for the numerous pending posts that I needed to write and post.

For March, it’ll summarize what went on from February until March. My January post summarized what transpired in the months of December and January. The month of March was about marching forward and yes, the character trait for March is CLARITY. As for February, it was AFFECTION (do read January post for this one.) 🙂

February: AFFECTION

March: CLARITY

This might explain why I was missing in the blogosphere for the month of February and why this post is super long (sorry about that, friends). February was the month of settling things – again, not a coincidence, but I have learned to rely on God’s plans all along even though some are hard to accept, some are hard to understand, and some are impossible to achieve. But then, that is one tough responsibility of a Christian and that is everyone’s calling too – live by faith and not by sight.

Last December, everything was unraveled. It was a moment of choosing among a multitude of choices and tough decisions. Every flaw, every need and every concern were brought out in the open. I have thought for that moment it might seem such an endless feat of emotional roller coaster and yet God had been faithful enough.

Fast forward to January, the start of 2017 was also the start of the turnaround of events. When seasons change and the comfort zone is no longer part of the next plans, it could be daunting. But as it was written, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

February was a month jam-packed of events. When you are caught in a whirlwind of events, oftentimes a “soul check” may come as the least of your priorities. But in faith, it is the other way around – a “soul check” is necessary and should be the top priority before everything else. That was what happened in the last few months, a question of am I doing it God’s way or not. I’ll just mention a few and most of them actually were answered prayers – prayers that I never thought I have prayed and yet silently in my heart, I did. Only God sees our hearts, anyway.

Maybe that is the reason why fulfillment in those answered prayers never really came from receiving the actual answer to the prayer per se but more about how God listens and how great He is to provide even the most impossible. It was all about God in the end, never about our desires but a satisfied desire on both our end and God’s that thru this fulfillment, we have established a kindred spirit and a deeper and personal relationship with our Creator. It is all a matter of communicating between Him and you alone – the ONLY thing that He asks from us.

So let’s begin the long journey of disclosing in this online journal what traversed in my moment of hibernation in the blogosphere starting February.

The incident:

A convo between my husband and I took place wherein I asked him what is it that he wants best in this life. His answer made me smile and speechless at the same time making me wonder where he could possibly be generating all these answers. My best guess – the heart. Who really am I to judge, indeed? I don’t see the heart, God does. 😉

“I don’t want material things but eternal rest.”

We came to that point wherein we had that (serious) husband and wife contemplation about priorities, the future and life in general. I can say that throughout the moments since I got saved, I did not regret any decision I have made which included my decision to marry. It is only through the entire duration of our years together as a married couple did I get to see why God gave me my husband in particular – I had so many answered prayers through my husband. It is either an answered prayer to that change I have been rooting to do internally but don’t have the guts to discipline myself or the big and small things that I have been wanting in my heart but never expressed them openly.

But God, once again, proved Himself faithful all throughout.

I have always wondered what if I married another man. Will he be patient, understanding and forgiving enough as my husband is right now to me and my circumstances? I oftentimes ask my husband how he feels regarding our situation and ask him to be patient with me as well and what I am going through. His answer was always a gentle, “I understand.” Though he would always say that, I know that he is sacrificing so much for both of us and as his partner, I have felt this inadequacy when it comes to fulfilling my role and my duties as a wife.

Starting the month of January until now, this was personally, for me, a season of instability. Firstly, every married couple gets to deal with financial difficulties and this season, my husband and I are going through with our own fair share. We have decided to finally move out from the apartment that my sisters and I have been living in for the past 20 years though it was only me who lived in the place for the last 7 years. We have decided to relocate near his workplace as it is more convenient for him and he gets to rest right away after work.

But this posed as a problem since I have no work when we both decided to move out and we are relying on my husband’s income alone for our daily expenses. If you’ll do the numbers from bills to necessities plus all the home stuff that we have to buy, the total suggested more funds. I did get a job. It was a convenient one but, unfortunately, it was not from my field of expertise and ironically, my water loo too – finance. Yes, it has something to do with numbers and money.

If you are wondering how I ended up in that job, I don’t know too. 😀 But I know God has a reason why because I got that job just 3 days after we moved in our new apartment. We were able to buy some of the basic stuff that we need at home. But as you all know it, I had to let the job go. I will not be able to give my best if it is something that I am not familiar with or is not my cup of tea. Numbers make me cringe and the fear of committing a mistake when it comes to computing plus the fact that it deals with money just proved that I might regret it later if I stayed longer. Another thing too, the worry of it all just took the better part of me and stress replaced what used to be a hopeful and positive attitude – I first thought I should give it a try. Employment equates to stress but when I started having stomach problems, difficulty sleeping at night and puking for no reason at all, I know I have to make a decision.

I wanted to go back to teaching. It was actually the very reason I stated when I resigned. The calling of being a teacher is greater. But then again, we all know that a teaching job is even more challenging when it comes to classroom management, multitasking, time management, etc. Again, no employment is ever easy and stress-free. But then again, I did want to try it out. Here came the opportunity – I had everything carefully and perfectly planned out so I’d get the job. But here came unprecedented circumstances which for the first few, I was able to gain control over but it required my husband and me to stay up until past midnight. I was able to pull it off. The next day I woke up with my estimated schedule. Everything should be smooth sailing until news came that the MRT 3 broke down and became operational only at 8am. I didn’t give up. If commuting was not an option then I’d go for the GRAB car – I was wrong. Since majority of the stranded commuters chose other alternatives of commuting, traffic was inevitable and it was worse than the usual. I decided by then that I had to let the opportunity go because it only means that it wasn’t intended for me. If I still pursued it then most likely I’ll be going against the grain of fate and will meet more unfortunate events along the way.

I am well aware of the idea to keep on swimming ahead even if the vision before you is hazy or the waters seem to be too deep and troubled or the shore is nowhere to be seen, figuratively speaking. But I am also well aware that from what I have experienced so far, if everything seems to be failing even if you have tried all possible attempts in getting things right, it only means it is beyond your control and God has intended a different plan for you. It could be God’s way of preventing you from any future loss/failure, future pain, even more hassle and inconvenience than intended.

So I asked God why I can’t have a regular office job. That moment of quietude with Him and me asking all these sort of questions trying to make sense of what has happened and what is happening came to a final halt – a matter of life and death.

I have already mentioned this a couple of times in my previous blog posts and health wise, I know I have nothing to fear. In the recent medical checkup I came clear but if I am not cautious enough i.e. check my lifestyle, sleeping patterns, food intake, physical activity, etc., and all these accumulated through the years could mean my ending up in a hospital bed earlier than expected.

I have to be cautious with everything.

I am not claiming it but I know it as a fact that I am a carrier of cancer genes. It was a generational curse – it didn’t skip a generation starting from my great grandmother (we don’t know if it started even way before her generation) to my grandmother then to my Mom. They were all breast cancer survivors. Most likely you’ll tell me I will survive too. 🙂

Yes, by faith and by God’s saving grace I know I will. But then it should not be reason enough for me to be complacent. My great grandmother, grandmother and Mom spent most of their lives in the province – a laid back lifestyle, pure simplicity, a fresh and clean environment and less complicated than city life. I spent half of my life in the metro starting college which was the opposite.

Again. I have to be more cautious.

If you will notice, I referred to breast cancer in the past tense because I am declaring that starting from my generation, not one among my 3 sisters and I will have breast cancer how many years from now and that the future generations of our family will be free of this generational curse.

There’s another generational curse too that I am declaring for my family and relatives and the future generations in our blood line to be free from starting with our generation but due to its sensitivity, I chose to keep it confidential.

These generational curses have no cure – ONLY God can deliver us from these curses. Not even the fields of medicine and science have the capacity to provide a lasting treatment/solution.

But,

“We can face the reality of our own mortality because we trust in God.” – Our Daily Bread

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12

Another thing too, my husband and I have been trying to have a child but time declared we can’t have one as of yet. We did talk about it and he told me that whatever God’s will is, he is happy and content either way.

That, I absolutely and unquestioningly agree upon. I did tell him though that as much as I’d want to have a child, I wouldn’t want to raise a child and let him suffer in this world or be punished for the mistakes that his parents did or bear the generational curse passed on to him. If part of the sacrifice that we have to make in order to break the generational curse is to be childless, then we have to honor it.

But then again, it entirely depends on what God’s will is and what His plans are. Indeed,

“As you do not know the way the Spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.” – Ecclesiastes 11:5

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

The generational curses and the current situation my husband and I are going through both have one thing in common – stress as the triggering factor.

Looking back to what I had to give up, they were standards that this world dictated as what should be accomplished and yet it all equated to stress. When I gave up my graduate study, I asked myself if it is worth it especially when my eczema attacks started showing up again, I had to deal with black spots in my legs which lasted for how many months and I experienced tension headaches/migraines which lasted for 3 days twice a month. I also had to give up the liberty and privilege of working in the corporate world or in my field of expertise.

Do I have regrets? Certainly not. My decision to not conform to the terms of this world won’t rob me of my dignity and make me less of a woman, will it? My identity no longer is attached to those titles that this world offer but to the title that God has given me – His princess and His loving daughter.

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My situation now? God showed me other alternatives. I know God did not give me skills just to see them all go to waste until I die and not be able to contribute to this world and help humanity in any way – it’ll make Him unhappy. 😀 I told my husband he need not worry because there are a lot of home-based jobs available for me in the fields of teaching and writing, my two best fortes, if I really need to get a professional job as a means to get an income. There are so many of them actually in different fields of expertise and if I will be “takaw tingin,” I’d prefer having at least 2 since their schedules are usually flexible. BUT, God will definitely say “No.” 😀

In addition, I have witnessed a lot of female friends who shifted from being corporate employees to staying at home, being a full-time Mom and housewife with a home-based job, stressed also but FULFILLED receiving the same salary that she gets if she works in the office spending energy and time commuting, coming home extremely exhausted and has no time for her family.

Yes, fulfillment makes all the difference, right? Even if you are paid triple of what a regular wage earner gets if the fulfillment isn’t there, work will just be equated to work per se in all technical aspect of the term. Aside from that, “whatever it is that our hearts value, there our treasure will be also.” The bad thing about this is if we’re putting our hope on treasures that are temporary and will eventually fade away. Building relationships with people I love are important to me – quality time is my love language. I want to invest more in it – being with my family.

What else?

As of the late, my husband asked me if I could do commissioned work for my sketching hobby after I posted the sketch (next blog article) I did of him during his birthday last May 4. He told me that one of his Mom’s friends asked if I could do their family portrait and his Mom and brother also requested the same along with a few of my relatives and friends ever since I posted some of my previous sketches. My answer was an unsure “let’s see.” 😀

If God gives us a talent as a gift, He has a very good purpose behind it all and honestly, I am not yet confident enough to take my sketching hobby to a higher level. 😀 It’s been 15 years since I started this hobby out of my need to have an outlet when things and times get rough. I am not confident as well to tag a price in each of my art work. I intended to give them for free actually and make the recipient of the art work happy – my ultimate goal as an artist. But if God instructs I have them paid, then I believe I should. Now this, I need to really pray hard as I don’t want to disappoint those who have requested to have their sketches done and there are a lot of them pending requests already. I just need more time to pray to God about it and wait for His answers. *insert wide smile here*

Another opportunity also came about my putting up a restaurant/café after hubby and I made this special burger recipe and his brother insisted we make it as a business as he knows someone who can be our supplier. I told him we talked about this option but we have chosen my hometown in Bicol as our business location – yup, you guessed that right, too far. My 3^rd sister and I have actually planned about this already and came up with the concept for the café and went through the basics of business analytics and management and the only thing she said was that it won’t materialize if I am not there with her to get things started and to keep them running. One of my hobbies is cooking and experimenting with different recipes but eating the food I cooked is not part of them. lol I believe I am to blame if hubby gained a lot of weight after we got married. Ooops, not my real intention there though. 😀 I just want to cook for other people and it makes me happy when they are happy with the dishes I serve them. Again, this is another prayer for my prayer line when it comes to wisdom, guidance and instruction.

Honestly, I was never after the money nor the recognition – getting compensated for the things I love to do and the things that God has gifted me with in terms of talents and skills. I’d like to contribute and share them to society and be able to make every individual happy and fulfilled or if what I contributed could help them in any other way regardless if I’d get anything in return or not (awards, recognition, money, etc.). I only needed money for survival and for now, that is what my hubby and I needed – for our daily needs but never to satisfy our wants and live in excess.

Moreover, I told my husband that if time comes God blessed us with more than we needed, I will retain the kind of lifestyle I have now and would still prefer the same living conditions – not a lavish nor grand lifestyle but a simple, minimalist one. Again, by having only the things that I need and never the things that I want.

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Mark 10:21

But as we all know it, I can plan so many things, have so many choices and wonderful opportunities to choose from and small and big decisions to make and yet, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” – Proverbs 19:21

Thus, I rest my case. 😀

For all the generational curses, the lifestyle check, the shift in opportunities, the continued pursuit of God’s will in my life – they were not because I live in fear but because I have fear in the Lord and if obedience is what He requires of me in this season so He can usher me towards what He desires for my life, then I should, by all means comply, stop figuring out this life on my own and rest in His saving grace.

Solution? Pray harder and trust God and His plans even harder.

[In prayer we call on God “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.”] – Ephesians 3:20

Oh and I think I forgot to mention that in my Paulo Coehlo planner-turned-spiritual journal, April’s character trait is COOPERATION and May is FAITH.

April: COOPERATION

May: FAITH

Did God say, “Tin, you must cooperate with me and have faith?” I think He just did that’s why I wrote this. *insert wide smile here again* 😀

“Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” – 2 Corinthians 7:1

P.S.

For the first quarter of year 2017, my life/planner went from having TOLERANCE (January), giving AFFECTION (February), to achieving CLARITY (March), giving COOPERATION (April) and last but not the least, having FAITH (May). 🙂

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm for God can be trusted to keep His promises.” – Hebrews 10:23

“God can be trusted to guide us.” – Our Daily Bread

“…the challenge is to trust (in) God’s ability to lead rather than in our ability to follow.” – Genesis 12:1

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Year 2017: Everything Made New

Posted on January 31, 2017 by Christine Lailani

Vindicated is the world’s term for it, redeemed is how faith coins it.

This article was sitting as a draft since November. But I only had the urge to finish writing it today because a lot more happened after November. So for the month of December I didn’t publish any article – a moment of solitude and immersion in faith. 🙂

There’s social unrest in the decision of current president of the Philippines, President Duterte, and the supreme court to allow the remains of a dictator and former President of the Philippines Ferdinand Marcos to be buried in the Libingan ng mga Bayani or be given a hero’s burial. It was an unfair decision to most considering all the human rights violation committed, plunder and social injustice in all forms when the country was placed under martial law during the Marcos regime.

It doesn’t seem such a reasonable, sensitive and acceptable answer by comforting the victims of martial law and their families by the statement “forgive and move on.” If you are to ask my side, I chose to settle it with God instead – not my terms but His.

I went thru a similar situation myself about two months ago, so please bear with me if this part will be a bit sensitive and emotional. It was just one of those heated disagreements between me and hubby. Through this challenging situation, it was heartbreaking to hear your spouse renounce his faith and even curse God which made me speak against my faith too. Yes, it was a very sad moment between us which turned into something worse that our families needed to meddle to stop the damage from getting bigger. Hubby and I decided we live separately for the meantime for our own safety and for the sake of saving our marriage.

When I went to the province, I was given the wrong ticket for the first time in my entire 15 years of traveling back and forth going home. Can you guess what was the wrong ticket amount? It’s 888. 😀 Yes, I interpreted it as an assurance that the Lord, our God, is indeed with us we need not worry.

How ironic it is though that my husband’s surname is Rome. Jesus’ number one persecutor is none other than the Romans. 🙂 They tried to gain control over Jesus but in the end they were the ones defeated when He overcame death. Jesus symbolizes the church, if not, He is the church. In a marriage, the wife is the church.

This clearly illustrates how man tried to separate from God/church/wife because of the sins and that only Jesus can bridge this gap so the relationship between man and God will be restored. This is just like when Israel rebelled against God and how God tried to make them turn to Him.

What happened was this, God made my relationship something to learn from and yet just like the martial law victims whose rights were violated, God will be the only one with the authority and the power to judge anyone.

They say that when you are deeply hurting, God is creating something wonderful in you and He is veering you away from possible destruction. Yet, it always starts with humility and forgiveness. Just like in this quote from my Our Daily Bread daily devotion, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. – C.S. Lewis”

For the two months that we have been apart, I persevered in assuring my husband that tho I have agreed we live separately for the time being, it doesn’t mean I am giving up on him and our marriage. It is indeed true that for all that we have been through, not once did I give up on our relationship and our marriage and I never will. The first thing that came to my mind during this season was the “love dare” from one of the greatest Christian films I have watched about marriages which is Fireproof.

Just like in the movie, I too am extremely grateful right now that God gave me a family whom I deeply appreciate being mentors in this ordeal who lead me to God and towards the right path. It was difficult to hear and choose from a lot of different prespectives but they did help a lot in widening my mindset about a lot of things through the Spirit’s guidance.

It wasn’t God’s goal that He’ll give you the perfect spouse because your husband/wife will fail you in the entire course of your marriage. This is not because God wants to see us suffer but He wanted to see how we will honor our commitment to Him and to our spouse, how will we continue fighting for our faith towards the beautiful promises that He has and last but not the least, to love unconditionally in the same way that He has loved us. We were born sinners, we are imperfect and we have been saved only by GRACE – something that we did not deserve but was given as a gift out of His great love for us.

I remembered a few years back when a male colleague actually confronted me with a startling confession, “Tin, no guy will ever be a match for you. You are talented, beautiful, almost everything.” I couldn’t give him a fair answer except that I wasn’t created by God to be someone’s or anybody’s rival. I was made as a man’s partner, as equal and as unique as everyone else. I, as a woman, do not have high standards or maybe I do but it doesn’t matter because what matters is that we have a God who has REALLY high standards and these are the standards that we ought to meet – not mine, not yours, but His.

So for two months I can say a lot have happened. But for the general feel of those two months, I can describe it as very painful and yet it was life-changing. As expected, I got a new Paulo Coehlo planner during the start of the year. This is my brother and sister-in-law’s consistent Christmas gift for me which, I must say, I appreciate a lot as my spiritual journey won’t be complete without it. This planner and I shared a lot of memories and it records all of my prayers, requests, letters of gratitude, revelations and daily bible verses from YouVersion and Our Daily Bread apps.

We also have a prayer and fasting in church at the start of the year and I must say too it was during this time that I had the greatest revelation from yes, the book of Revelation itself. 🙂

At first I did find it funny. I mean, even before, God’s ways are always amazing. He is so full of surprises. Most often these surprises will make you cry in awe – I always do. But it also made me humble – humble enough to acknowledge how could I have questioned God’s plans. It’s as if I am hearing Jesus when He said to His disciples, “you who have such little faith.” Well, when prayer time comes and I do get to talk with God, I feel all too guilty of this. However, His love and grace remain steadfast and true – it sets you free and it gives you a new chance in life always.

I shared this testimony exactly after the prayer and fasting ended. When I went home to my province last December, no one was left to tend my little garden. I just have faith that God will take good care of them for me in the same way He takes care of the wild forests. When I came back in January, true enough, my plants were flourishing except for one – the oldest plant I have since 2005 which is a calamansi plant. It doesn’t bear any fruit probably because there’s no other calamansi plant around that can pollinate it.

All the leaves of my calamansi plant were curled and dried up. My sister was the one who noticed it first and asked me what happened. We both could not explain as the rest of my plants were thriving. So she said maybe a fungus attacked the roots and I thought that it could very well be the reason. She suggested I throw the plant away. I thought it best too as it’ll be absurd keeping a dead plant in your garden. 😀

But on second thoughts, I have decided to keep it. I did water it for a day or two after we got back but when I saw that the leaves are really all dried up and they were starting to fall off one by one, I stopped watering it for about 2 weeks except for the occasional rainshowers but still chose to keep it. I just don’t know why I still kept it. 🙂

Anyway, for the month of November the character trait in my planner was patience, December was determination and January 2017 is tolerance. Nope, it is not an irony these traits are exactly what I needed to learn in the season I was in but I believe they’re all part of His plans. I have remained hopeful and faithful for the time when my husband will be saved and for the time when we will be together again. Ah yes, those grueling two months of being apart and you felt that your life was in shambles and what you have with you is nothing else but faith.

I asked God for forgiveness, that He would change me and yet I asked Him for strength and courage too. I know God is changing my hubby too. It is always between God and the person and that the people around are used only as vessels for God to allow that change to take place. I was claiming that the year 2017 will be the start of a lot of positive changes for all even if we seem to have lost everything. I am believing too that more unbelieving spouses will rise in the calling that God has for them to be Godly husbands and wives and Godly parents to their children. I am praying that the generations to come will learn from the generational curses that have been set and passed on to them by their ancestors and they will break free from them through the Cross.

As much as I’d want to share every single detail of those two months that I can say God was purifying me thus made me choose a white dress for Christmas day (see photo below), I would like to share the following bible verses, quotations in my daily devotion, articles I came across and questions I have asked God wherein I have felt much of the Spirit’s presence in what I was and am going through until now. I hope you will be blessed by them too in whatever season you are in. These verses came one by one consistently everyday. 🙂

P.S.

Don’t forget to read the last part – I have good news to tell. 😉

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..” – Proverbs 3:5

“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

“Give your burdens to the LORD, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” – Psalm 55:2

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” – John 15:4

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” – Hebrews 12:2

Lord, teach me how to carry my own cross and how to carry it well.

“This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.”- 1 Peter 3:3‭-‬6

“God is at work to make us who He intends us to be.” – Our Daily Bread

“Hear the word of the Lord.” – Jeremiah 7: 2

“I am making everything new.” – Revelation 21:5

“The word of the Lord never fails.” – Luke 1:3

“But seek first the Kingdom of God and live righteously and He will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33

“Only Jesus can give us new life.” (John 14:19)

“Christ will never leave His wife. Ever. There may be times of painful distance and tragic backsliding on our part. But Christ keeps His covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that! That is the most ultimate thing we can say about it.”

– http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/staying-married-is-not-about-staying-in-love-part-1

A display of His greatness.

I often wonder if my life was patterned after every devotion I am using – every bible verse, every Godly wisdom shared, I felt applying them all for real for they were all timely in every event that I am going through.

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor.” – 1 Peter 5:6

Why choose me, Lord?

Who am I to question God and His ways?

“Let others see your testimony as well as hear it.” – Our Daily Bread (2 Corinthians 4:7)

For I prefer Lord for my faith to be tested like iron is being forged in fire. For I do not intend to be lukewarm in my faith.

“There is no risk in abandoning ourselves to God.” (Romans 12:1)

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. – C.S. Lewis” (Romans 7:14)

“But the Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:3

“Christ holds all things together.” (Colossians 1:17)

Now we’re on to the last part of this article which I was referring to previously. So what’s the good news? Well, God’s grace made it possible for our marriage to be restored and we are on to an absolutely new chapter of our lives as a married couple. A new chapter indeed because we are finally deciding to relocate to a place near his work, I am going back to the work force and I just felt real change within me and my spouse. At first I was apprehensive about this change but if God brought us here, then He will help us go through it all as well.

As my husband put it (yes, my husband. 😀 ), God is good. 🙂

Oh and yes, remember the plant that died which I still kept? After 2 weeks, this is how it looks now – new leaves. It’s alive! “The old is gone and the new has come and I am making everything new” indeed as what the Lord says. All it took was FAITH. 😀

To end this article, I’ll share this bible verse which was from my laptop’s screensaver yesterday (it displays a different bible verse everyday). Yet another revelation from the book of Revelation:

“Because you have obeyed my command to persevere, I will protect you from the great time of testing that will come upon the whole world to test those who belong to this world.” – Revelation 3:10

Oh how I love my God. ❤ *insert wide smile here*

Continue fighting the good fight of faith my dear brothers and sisters. 🙂

Sentimental: Who Am I?

Posted on September 28, 2016 by Christine Lailani

I am down with my usual migraine attack (on its 5th day now), but this time accompanied by a high fever and eczema too. Whew! It’s kind of difficult to manage everything when every illness you have bolted in altogether. Though I took medicines yesterday, my husband (a nurse) and the doctor at the university infirmary advised me to take 3-5 days of bed rest for my follow-up check-up on Monday, and limit physical activity. While in bed, I thought about writing something.

Speaking of my husband, though, I appreciate him for his nonchalance. That is one thing I wanted to learn from him – how to maintain a worry-free attitude despite the disarray or when things have gone awry. I am, on the other hand, the exact opposite – I worry about everything! 😀 But through time, I have learned to control my worries, and I’ll share how in the succeeding paragraphs.

Dealing With Life’s Atrocities

I know there came in your life wherein you have never felt good enough – as a spouse, as a child, as a parent, as a student, as an employee, as a friend, as a relative, and ultimately as a person.

As a Christian teacher, I have learned that it is even more important to speak life than to criticize students. We might never know; we are already crushing the dreams of a young spirit because of the negativity. Though trials produce resiliency, positive reinforcement is still best. The world is already complicated enough, mainly because we, humans, made it that way.

Every person is different. It’s the same as how every seed grows to be a different plant. Every plant has its own tender and loving care requirements. Yet all plants need sunshine; they all need light.

The Breaking And The Making

When I was a grade school student, I had my first taste of disappointment when I didn’t win as president of the student council, and I was reprimanded during the campaign period along with the rest of my running mates. The offense? We were late in Math class for just a few minutes, and we weren’t allowed to enter the classroom. I took it as my responsibility to take the blame, being the running President, and seeing your peers crying out of shame was enough to break your heart to pieces.

When I was in high school, I had another major disappointment when I only graduated as “special mention” in class after consistently being on the top 3 honors list from 1st year until 3rd year, but failed to meet the criteria for the extracurricular activities, which comprised a huge percentage of the final grades. One of my high school best friends suffered the same fate. We were advised by our parents to never receive the award during the graduation ceremony, though our names were called because they said that we do not deserve it, but we were present during said ceremony.

When I was in college, I wasn’t able to finish my thesis on time because the adviser from our concentration was on sabbatical leave. We were assigned instead to another adviser from another concentration. After submitting my first draft, I got it back only to see red marks written everywhere, and the one thing that was retained in me was this comment: “How did you reach this far if you don’t know how to make a research paper? This is not the work of a UP student!”

I thought, maybe I should also ask my former professors why they passed me in all my other subjects if I am undeserving to be in UP. 😀 Little did I know that there were several of us who got the same remarks. Yep, in our university, you’ll encounter all sorts of professors, but when it comes to critical feedback, I understood it all as part of doing their jobs as teachers.

Then I worked, a dream job it was. But disappointment once again came. The mission and vision of the workplace weren’t met because one of the figures of authority behaved otherwise. I was the recipient of that very unprofessional behavior, and many have seen it. It happened a couple of times, too. I stayed and chose to keep quiet. But after praying about it, I had to let the job go.

God’s Path Towards Salvation

So these were all hang-ups of the past, which I am sure most of us have experienced one way or the other. Others may have gone through even worse than all these, and if given the chance, they are very much entitled to unleash their grievances as much as they want. But unfortunately, as much as we would like to shake them off, they are already embedded in who we are.

All those years, I have struggled with the need to impress, to seriously meet expectations, to be perfect, to excel always, and to prove myself to people. I suffered from anger and resentment boiling in me, and the need to take revenge and retaliate was so strong. I blamed life for bringing me people who did nothing but criticize me for my weaknesses, and only that, and went beyond in criticizing who I am personally, without even the slightest hint of who I really am and what I can do. This resentment and anger included some issues in other areas of my life, too, which I will not share due to their sensitivity. I really thought I was the unluckiest person alive back then.

For 27 years, I have battled with insecurity, the by-product of low self-esteem, poor self-image, and self-worth – the mentality that “I am never good enough.” Failures, wrong decisions, and disappointments became the stronghold that corrupted my entire being until it led me to a major depression – the breaking point, as they say.

Depression robs you of the beauty of life. It makes life look bleak, bland, and distorted. It affects your every decision, and it just kills life itself. Before I was born again in 2013, I committed suicide twice – both were failed attempts.

No, I do not easily give up. I did arrive at that breaking point on the verge of quitting everything, but I still fought hard against it.

I had two options: let the darkness corrupt me and become those people who plagued others or themselves with it OR choose to search for the light, the hope.

Knowing The Savior

The opportunity came for the latter – I was given HOPE.

The greatest moment of my life was when I was born again through my faith. Why? It’s because when I found out who I was in Christ, that was the greatest and the best thing that I have heard about myself for 27 years.

It was on that day when I surrendered myself to Christ that ALL chains got loose – I was set FREE.

The moment has already come for me to look at things from a very different perspective – a total paradigm shift. It wasn’t everything I hoped for, BUT it’s exactly what I NEEDED which no one else could give me except God.

This HOPE taught me even more than what I have learned in the academe or even from life itself. It taught me how to patiently wait for the right opportunities and how to patiently endure every setback. It taught me that there is a time for everything. It taught me to decline job offers and business opportunities that could’ve made me rich in wealth and possessions. It taught me to pass up on chances of earning titles that would’ve given me some sort of self-entitlement and self-fulfillment. It taught me to weigh options, sacrifice if I must. All of these, if they will, in the end, forfeit my soul.

It taught me to choose God’s will over mine. It taught me to rely on God’s plans rather than rely on my own understanding of the circumstances around me. It taught me to relinquish control and allow God to take over. It taught me that GRACE is a gift freely given, even if undeserving. It taught me how to love others even when they do not deserve it. It taught me to find joy, peace, and contentment even when darkness, chaos, and bitterness are all around. It taught me how to let go of the past and forgive.

It taught me what true humility is all about. It taught me to be grateful always. It taught me that simplicity matters most in life. It taught me to look outwardly and consider what others are going through as well. It taught me that if there is a void that the atrocities of life have caused in me, either by wrong choices or by fate, no one and nothing else can fill it up except God.

I found this hope in Christ alone, and I find strength in the Word every day, which is my guide in this life – not any textbook, novel, or company brochure.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” – Hebrews 11:1

Faith Anchored To Our Souls

Faith did not make my life free from criticism, condemnation, trials, and suffering. Yet it gave me a way to view life beyond that – salvation in eternity.

I still find myself in situations I have stated in the first part of this article. But this time, I have learned to see these instances from a different standpoint. I have learned to understand first where some people are coming from and why they are that way. I have learned to understand that maybe they are still in the darkness, too, driven perhaps by the need to compete, to be the best, and to meet expectations, dealing with their own insecurities and personal struggles, too. Or they have this false motive to instill in those who are next in line exactly what they went through, because in this “dog-eat-dog” world, repaying evil with evil is normal. Only God knows everything. What I observed, though, is that when people prick each other to bleed, it’s better to choose to be the rose among the thorns – the salt and light. 🙂

There are times the past comes all rushing back; it haunts. Another disappointment will ruffle your feathers. The need to lash out and punish calls. But I choose LIFE. I will speak LIFE.

Because Christ has given me LIFE. He, alone, gave me LIGHT. It is my duty as His follower to use that light so others can walk in and with Him, too, despite the darkness around them.

Ah, yes. Them.

One day, they will be brought out in the light, too. They will break standards, cultural traditions, and not conform to this world wherever they may be and whatever they may be doing. They will choose to fight for faith and spread light when hope seems dim. That was the reason I was smiling because I was praying for them silently, and I am claiming it all in the Mighty Name of Jesus, who made it possible for me, too. 🙂

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

P.S.

It’s been 3 years now since I got saved, and when things don’t go the way I’ve expected them to be, I have this bookmark to remind me of who I am. I thank the sister in Christ who gave this when she facilitated a talk during my baptism of the Holy Spirit. I have carried it with me since then. The last verse listed is my life verse. 🙂

Oh, and yes, one new thing I have learned too from our couples’ bible study Vgroup 2 Sundays ago (thanks Tito Tony and Tita Len for the wisdom) – the boiling water concept. If you put eggs in boiling water, they become hard. But if you put the potato in it, it becomes soft. I choose to be a potato – a couch potato. Kidding. *wink*

Seriously, it only means that when life and circumstances knock you down, don’t bear any grudge and don’t be hard on yourself and on others. Instead, let it soften you, let it refine you, and let it make you better. Be a better potato, I mean, a better man/woman. 😉

Last but not least, reach out to God, and then God will send His people (spiritual family) to help usher you out of the ordeal. I am praying for your struggles, too, my dear reader and brother/sister in Christ. If you also need to share a tough ordeal and are in need of a prayer intercession, you may always pop me an email. ❤

1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: The Celebration

Posted on September 3, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Hola, my dear beloved readers! 🙂

I’d like to start this very LONG article with a note of gratitude to God for making things possible from provisions, clear weather, safe travel everywhere and everything else in between. I’d like to thank my dear husband as well for every small and great thing he did for us. I do not intend though to share every wedding anniversary celebration that hubby and I have as there are some moments that make it to social media and there are those which do not. But I thought I’d give credit to our first year wedding anniversary considering that the first year for newlywed couples is the hardest when it comes to adjustment and settling of differences.

Thus, this article will be a testimony on how the grace of God manifested in our first year as a married couple but most especially how God made our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration extra special.

As it is written,

Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD.” – 1 Corinthians 1:31

Amazing it is when a couple makes a really big and extra effort in putting God at the center of their marriage even though circumstances and schedules permit otherwise. If you are to ask me what are they, I’d give a few instances. One would be temptations. Numerous situations will tempt you and your hubby to behave in a manner that is not right with God. This does not just pertain to temptations of the flesh like lust but other temptations like fits of rage, harsh words, doubts, impatience and a whole lot more.

Another would be priorities. I believe most of us are guilty of this: prioritizing those that shouldn’t be. One example was when hubby and I were so engrossed watching movies or checking out social media stuff and then when it was time to hit the hay, we’re both too sleepy to pray. Or that moment when we’re supposed to go to church but we kind of miscalculated our schedules, we ended up doing household chores first.

For us, these were mistakes and/or realizations on how to put God at the center. Going to church is not enough. In fact, we learned that putting God at the center of our lives meant every single thing that we do whether at home, or in work or in school whether we are with each other or with other people, God should always be included. It has to be Him whom we should think about first and consider whether it would be pleasing and honorable to God or whether it is in accordance to God’s will.

I have shared in my first article regarding our 1st year wedding anniversary (1st Year Wedding Anniversary Special: Mister and Missus) the nitty gritty details of our lives as a husband and a wife. But in this article, it’ll be more of the “greater learning” that Brian and I have gathered in the 1st year of our experiences together. I haven’t mentioned yet the really not-so-good-stuff that he and I went through although I thought I’ll just give an overview on how most of them went – never good, always bad and sometimes worst.

The worst so far is something that you could think of as unbearable. Not just for us but for those who loved us too which made them intervene so it wouldn’t turn out to be THE worst. I am referring to our parents and our families. They are our mentors in this season. They’ve been there with us since the first day that Brian and I got married.

I couldn’t imagine my life as a wife and we wouldn’t be where we are now after multiple attempts of separating if it wasn’t for God sending these mentors and for all the advice, the encouragement and words of wisdom that our families have shared especially on my side. I felt I had to share some of the tough times that Brian and I went through with them to seek for counsel right away lest I become too emotional over matters and I would overlook important and necessary things.

It has always been my belief to seek wisdom in a matter of different perspectives and never one sided only. Relying on one’s own interpretation of situations could lead to a clouded judgment and in decision making, it is crucial that we get to see the bigger picture of what really goes on. Being a woman, my emotions tend to get in the way thus accountability partners are very much well appreciated on my part.

If there’s one prayer that I have for now, it is that God would continue to protect our marriage and continue to prepare me and Brian and provide all that we needed holistically so that we would be ready in any given circumstance when the enemy strikes. We always remind each other during a heated discussion that it is not one another that we are against but the forces of evil in this world.

I can only love and thank God that through our very trying times being married, God answered our call for help. All those desperate and hopeless times felt like there’s no better way to go through them but to quit and yet God never fails, His love never fails – He always remained faithful and true to His promises and His reminders are always there.

Thinking back of those times when we thought we were the cruelest, most selfish of people going through the most challenging situations ever did God teach us all about humility and submission. Forgiveness makes a whole lot of difference most especially if it is accompanied with sincere apologies and sincere actions of change.

Ahhh yes, those days were over. If they do come back, we know how to deal with it. We may not deal with it completely as perfect as how we should deal with it, but I know and I am positive there will be changes. This is God’s way of perfecting our faith in us. There will be more to come, but looking back, all I ever saw was one set of footprints and that is enough assurance that I have such a powerful God who can lift me up in whatever circumstance I am going through.

Now on to the testimony of our 1st year wedding anniversary celebration, I just don’t know how to express my gratitude and my happiness on how the Lord our God moved in behalf of us. AMAZING. Though this is not enough to describe it, that is the only word from my human vocabulary that I could think of to describe what transpired over that weekend.

August 17 was our anniversary date. It fell on a Wednesday. Brian and I planned our celebration the 1st weekend after that date. I was the one who made all the arrangements as Brian was busy at work and I, on the other hand, had an ample time to spare to inquire about this and that. I was also in charge with the budgeting and it is only Brian’s income that we’re relying on so I need to make sure we won’t go over the budget. So there was me searching all kinds of great but budget-friendly options.

The plan: have a dinner cruise in the evening, then an overnight-stay at the hotel. So there were only 2 items in our itinerary. Then came the cancellation of the dinner cruise as yacht was under maintenance so we were given options to choose among the dates they have offered and August 28 was the nearest from our wedding anniversary though it’s already 2 weeks away from the actual date.But I thought it wouldn’t matter anyway as it still falls on our anniversary month. I am not really particular about dates I even forget them, the special ones included. *wink*

So came August 17, and I thought we’re gonna treat it as a regular day since we’re going to celebrate it anyway. But lo and behold, to my surprise, Hubby arrived home from work braving the heavy rains and all the traffic with something in his hand – a bouquet of assorted flowers. Okay, now he and I had an agreement that I will only receive one flower from him in our entire lifetime together and that will be the first and the last as I will be preserving it – a memorabilia on preserving our love together as a couple. This was the rose that he gave me on our first Valentine’s day date back when we were still dating.

When I saw the bouquet of course I smiled my widest, gave him a tight hug and a sweet kiss and then told him that he doesn’t have to. His answer was that he knew I will like them. So I teased him that now I have so many flowers to preserve and I am running out of glass canisters to put them. lol

Well, I guess both of us knew what each of us wanted because I also made him a video which was a compilation of our wacky shots since we first met up to now. I showed it to him that night as well when he gave me the bouquet.

So now came the week before our final schedule for the celebration. That week had a pretty rough weather we were really running out of hopes that we’ll be celebrating the anniversary with a clear weather which means our plans will be ruined or we’ll make do of what we can. I never thought about canceling our plans but Brian wanted to move it to a later date.

Unfortunately we have limited options in doing so so I assured him to have faith, be patient, trust in the Lord and that we’ll continue praying. Come Thursday Brian was having pressing moments at work. I was sure he will really appreciate being able to do some adventurous stuff knowing the sporty person that he is. So I thought about coming up with another item in our itinerary – go to Rizal and have some nature and adventure fun in Daranak Falls. It was so out of the original plan but I checked the budget, we’ll still make it. I suggested the idea and he approved, excitedly approved actually.

I checked out reviews and blogs about the place and we came up with an itinerary. A few hours before we left, heavy rains still poured every now and then that my husband had dampened spirits too. I cheered him up when we woke up in the morning and saw the sun peering out. But hubby still told me it might rain hard for the rest of the day. We’re going to be doing a lot of road traveling and sight seeing and doing it on a rainy weather is a no-no as roads are slippery and we won’t enjoy the view anyway.

I once again comforted him that God has already answered our prayer request for a clear weather which we’ve been praying for how many nights in a row already. I told him that we should never give up along the way as my mentors would always remind me to look at the bigger picture, never on the road block or the problem that’s blocking the road or the view and to continue focusing on the goal and not on the journey. Our goal was to enjoy our wedding anniversary celebration in whatever circumstance.

So we ate an early breakfast and started heading out. Indeed, the Lord was faithful. For the rest of our first day/part 1 celeb, we’ve been given a clear weather. We’ve enjoyed nature at its best on a sunny weather. Just right because the falls were cool. If it was raining that day, we wouldn’t be able to withstand the cold water for long. But since it was a sunny day, hubby and I just had the best time having a hydro massage at the mini falls across the huge one.

Usually the place is flocked every weekend since it is just an hour ride away from the metro. But I guess since nobody expected for the weather to clear up right away on that day, there was only a small crowd (about 10-15 people) who was enjoying the resort with us. You could choose to roam around downstream, the huge falls, the river bed, the two smaller falls and you’ll still get a space for a nice shot without a photobomber. *wink*

The splendor of Mother Nature.

A very beautiful specie of butterfly fluttering around me while trying to take a good shot of her – the first of its kind.

Here goes hubby’s epic jump!

Here’s a short video of our escapade there (do watch it at 480p):

God is good all the time, eh? But wait, that’s just the beginning of our itinerary. Because the 2 events we originally listed became 8. Well, I couldn’t count exactly because it all just happened out of the blue. We’re like going along the flow whichever God would want us to do and want us to have.

So we got to visit the windmills farm, the parola beside the lake (which I thought was a sea growing up in a coastal area), checked out the old historical church nearby and tried some local cuisine for snacks.

Everything went perfectly well even with how we managed the time (and expenses) and no traffic! Ha! Hubby was sure glad to drive with ease the whole time being surrounded with all the greenery. The car we used was Brian and his brother’s as they have another one for the family car. They share in using it but I told Bri to let his brother use it as they already have a baby and commuting with a toddler is tad difficult. Told him we will just borrow when there is a pressing need like this anniv celeb which happens only once a year. So praise God that the car was good to go as well for this event. 😀

When hubby and I got home, we started preparing for the part 2 of our celeb the next day which fell on a Sunday. Of course, Sundays are meant for God so if there is an itinerary, ggoing to church should be the first priority or if not, it should be included. We planned to stay at a hotel around Ortigas area after our dinner cruise so I suggested we attend church nearby or along the way to Manila bay.

Searched the Victory church website and found one at Robinsons Galleria mall. It has always been a habit for me and Brian to find a church nearby if we have activities lined up on Sunday. It was our first time at Victory Ortigas and every Victory church has their own communion schedule if I am not mistaken. We missed having one in our home church at Victory Katipunan for the month of August. But to our surprise, on that Sunday, it was communion day for Victory Ortigas. Yaaaay! Oh, the goodness of the Lord just goes on and on. A blessed Sunday it was as the events lined up on that day was also the “meat” of the celebration.

Early birds at Victory Ortigas.

After church, hubby and I decided to go directly to Manila bay for our dinner cruise. Guess what too, the new yacht assigned to us caters only a small group of people meaning it will give the guests a more exclusive experience. The yacht looked great too. We were supposed to be served a full-course plated meal with iced tea but since the yacht was small, they changed the caterer and the sea was expected to be rough these months too so they served them in bento boxes. But I preferred it this way because I don’t like my food spilling over my plate when the yacht changed courses or worse, spilling them over my dress. That is my worst nightmare during a date. lol BUT the best part which was not included in the package was a complimentary refillable glass of wine being offered to guests. Yaaay again!

Welcome aboard!

Aboard M/Y Selina.

God is so full of surprises, ain’t He? So hubby and I were enjoying our dinner cruise moment and 1 hour was just not enough especially if you’re gonna take photos around the yacht, eat and drink. Or maybe we were having so much fun we totally lost track of the time. *wink*

The view of the bay from the yacht.

So final verdict? We’re definitely going to relive the experience but on a summer night AND when there is a pyromusical event at SM Mall of Asia. Now that gives you an idea how you could spend a romantic date with your special someone too. Let’s share the love, shall we? We say, cheers to that! 🙂

After dinner we went to SM Mall of Asia to catch pokemons. lol But nope, I am no pokemon go player. My husband tried it out of curiosity thus tried to catch some while we’re still in the area and ordered our favorite fraps at Starbucks located along the boulevard. Now it was late already when we got to Richmonde hotel where we will spend the night away.

Entering this classy hotel will make you lost in translation. I was totally loving the hotel’s elegant interiors probably because I like earth tones when it comes to color choices and gold never fails to magnify the sophistication of every item like black. It was actually the color motif of hubby and I for our dinner date – yellow/gold and black.

We went inside our room which was very cozy by the way and it matched the elegance of the hotel’s lobby. Since we were dead tired because of the previous events especially hubby who was diving and swimming his heart out in Daranak falls, we’ve thought about having a massage. We tried the 90-minute Swedish aromatherapy massage at Nuat Thai near the hotel and I found myself giggling, not because of the massage, but the snoring client beside my room. lol

Well, I couldn’t blame him. The massage was so good, so therapeutic and relaxing it’ll really make you doze off. I am not really a massage lover but I appreciated it so much in a way that it made me so calm and relaxed after the session. Hubby said that he, too, fell asleep. Hmmmm, was he the one who snored?! lol 😀

I didn’t know massages can make you go hungry. *wink* So afterwards, we went ahead and had a tapsilog meal at Rufo’s. When we got back to the hotel we were just so drowsy and we understood why, it’s already 1am! Okay, it’s really time for taps.

The next day/part 3 of the celeb we had our sumptuous and delicious buffet breakfast at the hotel’s cafe. We had no photos as we don’t want to break the sophisticated atmosphere with us taking selfies everywhere. We felt like it’s inappropriate especially when expats were eating beside your table. *wink* We then decided to take a swim at the hotel’s heated pool and we couldn’t capture a pretty decent shot lest some of the guests might be irritated if they’d find out their faces were included in the photo without their permission. I happen to have one taken but a lady just made it in time as a photobomber. lol No offense though, it oftentimes happens. *wink*

His signature squint, my signature pout. 😉

By the time we finished our morning dip at the pool we headed back to our room and prepared for the check out. We decided to have the car washed, loaded up and went on our way home sweet home. Then, it began to rain. 😀

Alas, we’re now finally at the comfort of our quaint little home. This home of ours was a little apartment that my siblings and I shared starting when we were all studying in college. When my eldest sister and brother got married, my second sister worked in Norway and my third sister went to our home province to be with our parents, I was left alone. So now my hubby and I are occupying this place.

I always tell my husband that it is such a privilege for us to live in this minimalist and simple home. We had nothing to worry about the stuff that we needed and my siblings and I used to take turns in doing a house makeover every now and then. So many memories are in here thus it is always a reminder for us to take good care of this humble abode. I used to hate cleaning but I love it now especially when I see the aftermath. We do have plans of getting our own house but we’ll have to wait and trust God and His right time with that. 🙂

The events during the weekend went on smoothly and we’re still right on track with our budget. The provisions of God do overflow when you share what you need to give and you have faith that only God is the sole provider of everything. Besides, it’s better to give than to receive anyway. *big smiles there* Everything was planned out perfectly because God planned it that way. I am just extremely thankful for everything. We just have a great God, haven’t we?

I couldn’t imagine how Brian and I managed to celebrate it with so much ease, no worries and no hassle knowing we were relying on his income alone for our expenses; secondly, his schedule at work was difficult to arrange and lastly, the weather didn’t go well a couple of weeks prior to the celeb. It was a combined celebration of simplicity and elegance, adventure and sophistication, nature and man-made – the perfect balance.

It actually doesn’t matter what are the particulars when it comes to celebrating special moments with a loved one. The good and bad memories that you and your spouse build every single day are enough to remind you of the love that you have for each other which is more important than any celebration in every marriage. Love rules, love wins, and love is all that matters. (I think I heard myself singing that. lol)

But the truth of the matter is that a marriage requires this – FAITH. When it comes to faith, I only have these two to think about:

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. – Hebrews 11:1

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. – Hebrews 12:22

Keep the faith ALWAYS too, my dear brothers and sisters! ❤

Much love,

Tin and Bri

Changes: April It Is

Posted on April 1, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Changes

Once again, my planner never fell short in conveying messages and character traits that I need to learn or will about to take place. For the month of April, it is about CHANGES.

How timely, how accurate and how helpful – same phrase as what I wrote in my previous article regarding COURAGE. If not for courage though, I wouldn’t be able to defend my faith when the need arises. This need came in the form of a conflict at my husband’s work place wherein worldly suggestions as well as worldly interpretations of things were given to him – I expected the worst. Yet I believe God intended it to be and I believe too that God has already prepared us beforehand.

With this kind of scenario, I would have felt fear and indignation at the maximum and yet, I found myself correcting how I should react and take everything in a Godly perspective right away. I am grateful to God as well and this is the reason why I can attest that God knew this will all happen, because contrary to what I was expecting as my spouse’s response to this kind of situation in the past, which is also worldly, he handled the matter this time according to what we talked about as the right way – God’s way. This gratitude extends even further because by doing so, by obeying God, my fear that I will lose my husband if he favors his workmates over me thus resulting to a broken marriage didn’t happen.

Our marriage was intact, God protected it from those who wanted to ruin it. In fact, I know God is with His people and He is with us for He showed to my spouse the mistakes of his coworkers that involved gossiping, meddling with the husband and wife affairs and broken confidentiality with a “trusted” coworker. My husband and I chose to pray for them instead. We know that these are also trials of faith to them as it is to us. It is not for a born-again Christian to quarrel but choose rather to do things peacefully.

This situation proved to my husband that indeed, it is the wife and the husband who should work as a team against the attacks of the enemy. It is only this team work of the husband and the wife that will save the covenant and the Holy Matrimony. My husband and I got to talk things out last night regarding this and afterwards when he got up, I told him something: “Honey, God loves you.” He answered back with an “I know, Hon.” A tight hug culminated it. Okay, I am not supposed to include this. 😀

Yes, I have nothing to fear, we have nothing to fear. It is God who will always fight the battle for us. Problems might be too big and too overwhelming that it could cloud our vision of God beside us, and yet faithful as He is, He will make His presence felt. For all the rest of the day that my husband is at work, I was at home doing a lot of things and praying that God would give him strength to get through the challenges, the attacks and temptations of the enemy that he will be facing at work. God knows those are my only worries as a wife because I am not physically with my husband and he is facing these temptations on his own. I always pray to God that my husband’s spirit will be strengthened deeply in all of these trials. I know that it is only by prayers and in spirit that I can be with him whenever he is not with me.

But through all these worries, once again God assured me so many times through His word that He will never leave our side. The Spirit prodded me to read chapters and verses in the bible that are enough to give me the courage to face the enemy with boldness and support my husband in his ordeals. But I also prayed for discernment still for the enemy could use the Scripture against me.

And yet, I choose to have faith. I told my husband to keep the faith even when the enemy will use any of us against each other. I have to remind ourselves that we have to look at the end goal, our destiny, which is to claim victory over all challenges by upholding to the covenant that we made with each other as a husband and a wife in front of the Lord and emerge victorious, as a couple, until death do us part.

All these pain and suffering and the rebuke I share to him, I know I have to explain to my husband so he’d be encouraged through the Scripture and know the Light:

“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening – it’s painful! But afterward, there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” – Hebrews 12:11

“As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as His own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its Father?” – Hebrews 12:7

“Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good.” – Deuteronomy 8:5

“I know, O Lord, that your regulations are fair; You disciplined me because I needed it.” – Psalm 119:75

As much as I want to keep quiet and just show my husband how a Christ-like living and attitude go, I know I still need to answer and remind him when he asks me directly certain questions pertaining to faith. I have to thank God though for allowing these changes and I can only pray that more changes, for the better, will take place not just between me and my husband but with all the people around us.

I always tell him that our life story as a couple and our marriage will be our testimony of God’s grace, His love and faithfulness through the good, the best, the bad and the worst times. We just have to TRUST and OBEY Him at ALL times.

True it is when they say,

“The only thing that is constant in this world is CHANGE.”

And yet true it is also that,

“Change is a lifetime process.”

What’s In A Name and A Number

Posted on August 27, 2015 by Christine Lailani

What’s with numbers?

I was already prompted to list down this topic a few months back, 6/26 to be specific. But it stayed as a draft until now, 7/27.

I guess one reason was that I only have limited information to share about it at that time. But the Spirit knew that time will come, this article will be published in its due time and will bear more meaning, which is today.

If you will look closely at the time, yup, I had this revelation during my “creative waking hour.” That particular time starting 10 in the evening until midnight. If you have read my previous articles like this one – https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/the-promise-rings-2/, it’ll give you a bit of information already regarding the significance of numbers, including time, in the bible. But then, it was a bit vague for me before. But now, looking into the topic deeper made me understand things even better – an enlightenment yet again.

Which will bring us to this conclusion: God did not create Mathematics, numbers, formulas and figures for nothing. Yes, obviously they are what makes some innovations and technologies run in the present day such as the world wide web which is composed of a system or network that deals mostly with numbers.

BUT, a deviation from that is the idea or assumption that God also embedded numerical figures in the Scripture to also serve as “solutions” to “problems” to “make things work.” I know Mathematicians (like a brother in Christ of mine) will agree that the solution to a Mathematical problem is through formulas/computations to arrive to a CLEAR and DEFINITE answer. 🙂

I interpret it in the bible as decoding the numerical symbols. Take note, I now used the word “symbol” which is also similar to “signs” and “codes.” But no, this is not an adaptation from Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. I am just sharing a wisdom that was passed on to me and it was out of my passion to seek for Godly wisdom that I believe led me to knowing more about the biblical significance of numbers – through the guidance of the Spirit of course. Reading this article might lead you too in studying more about the Scripture and the numbers and be enlightened, amazed and feel more connected to God. I cannot tell exactly if that is how you will be receiving the information as I believe each of one of us was called by the Spirit to learn and interpret things differently. What matters is how POSITIVE the learning experience was for you.

If it led you to disillusionment or posed more doubts and negative questions, then possibly you need more of the Spirit’s guidance in interpreting what was given or shown to you – through a prayer. Seek for guidance and discernment as doubts will be the enemy’s weapon to use his most powerful way to trap you under his wing – deception and lies. Seek for the TRUTH. Pray it aloud, say it aloud to God, He will and He will lead you.

But if it led you to a positive response such as enlightenment, amazed, a clearer understanding of everything, a process of piecing one puzzle after the other leading to near completion, and a better appreciation of God’s Word, then it is by all means, a guided learning from the Spirit. Say a prayer of gratitude when this happens for wisdom doesn’t have a price tag, especially if they came from God. That is how precious it is and that is also why we should guard it at all costs by not allowing the enemy to use it against us through prayers. He did use it against Jesus but Jesus is the TRUTH and nothing can stand against the TRUTH. For He is the ONLY way and the LIGHT which is stronger than darkness.

As this article tells us that,

So let the fun “decoding” begin. 😉

Let me start by sharing the numbers that are usually attached to significant events that happened to me personally. These realizations came flooding in like one big bright light eureka moment just last night. Amazing, it is. 😀

2002-58885 (This is my student number or ID number in college where I am now completing my graduate study. We refer to this as our “life line” in UP Diliman as you will use it and you will be identified through it more often than you use your name in your entire stay in the university. Believe me, this is how the students connect with each other especially when it comes to “batches” and other interests come after this.)
8/8/2008 (This was my first job wherein I was able to the help the deaf and mute community by relaying their messages to bank representatives, restaurants, personal calls to families and relatives, etc. and allowed me an opportunity to save money and buy this laptop I am now using and my dslr – both are serving their purposes in fulfilling the mission God appointed to me.)
96 (This is my favorite pair of numbers as it stands for my first name which is Christine and my surname which is Ginete.
3/3/13 (This was the day of my salvation, the day that I was born again.)
8/17 (The very recent significant numbers, which is the date of my civil wedding.)

If you will notice, I never selected these numbers. Not even our civil wedding date (I will share more a bit later). Yes, it was predicted already even before the world begun. I think I know what you are thinking. 🙂

For starters, what’s the significance of my student number 2002-58885? Let’s remove 2002 and focus on 58885. In the bible, the number 5 represents “power and Divine grace.”

The number 8 symbolizes the number of salvation. And the “gematria of the name Jesus in Greek is 888: a trinity of eights, the fullness of salvation!”

To interpret my student number it will be this: Grace + Jesus Christ + Grace. 🙂

8/8/2008 was the year that I was hired at my first job, which originally operates after a good cause – that of helping the deaf and mute community in the US. I loved this job, the mission, my workmates, the financial benefits and this is the reason why I decided to pursue a graduate study in Special Education wherein providing assistance to the deaf and mute community is among the areas that this specialization covers. But God intended I leave the company, much to my regret, but it gave me the opportunity to pursue my graduate study full time.

Again, trinity of eights which represents the name of Jesus. Of course there is 2 or 20 but I know that this date is somehow special to me. Again, it is not a coincidence I got hired on this date. 🙂

96 is a pair of two numbers that represents the letters of my first and my last name. Thus, they became my favorite pair of numbers. Little did I know that it has a biblical significance. 9 is related to the number six as stated in the article below:

“It is significant of the end of man and the sum of all man’s works. Nine is therefore the number of finality or judgment.”

3/3/13 was the day of my salvation at the age of 27. According to the article below, 3 is the number of perfect completion for the Jews and it symbolizes the perfection of the Godhead – the Most Holy Trinity. More of this can also be found in this article:

8/17/15 was our civil wedding day. Yes, this is the newest entry in the revelations I’ve had pertaining to numbers. We actually didn’t plan this date as true enough to what our spiritual mentors told us, an engaged couple will be tested all the more as the engagement period gets longer. Two days prior to my claiming our Marriage License, there came a conflict that almost made us cancel the wedding. Indeed, the longer the engagement period becomes, the more that the enemy will get stronger in attempting to make the relationship fail so it wouldn’t end up in a marriage.

We only have two reasons why we pushed through with our civil wedding: loved ones from our families cannot come on the date that we have decided to have our church wedding this year and we were advised not to have a long engagement period.

And of course, since it is a special moment for me and it happened, I sought for the spiritual significance of the numbers. I am already familiar with the number 8 but I am not sure with 17. So I decided to search for it and it is through this need to learn about it that this article came into completion and I was able to slowly connect one dot from the other and put one piece of the puzzle after the other.

What was even amazing is that the combination of the numbers 7 and 8 “has a remarkable connection.”

And that the number 17 “symbolizes overcoming the enemy and complete victory.”

Therefore 8/17 means salvation/resurrection/new birth and overcoming the enemy/complete victory.

And here’s more…

We did not even predict that this will be our wedding day. And yet, when I checked my website out of the blue, I received a notification that my site statistics shoot up on this day. So out of curiosity, I checked it out. And here are my findings:

It is amazing how these numbers fell on the list: 8, 40, 7, 2, 33, 36, 5 which all are significant numbers in the Scripture. Which made me contemplate, were these 8 persons who viewed my page can be called as “angels?” 😀

What amazed me too is staring at this part of the statistics with mouth agape the following day:

I interpreted it as Holy Thursday or Thursday of Mysteries to some and there goes the 3:00 AM time frame. And guess what day is today? 🙂

What about the names?

I have previously contemplated and made an article on this or have mentioned this in my previous articles like my name Christine which means “a follower of Christ” and I ended up being married to a Joseph which I firmly believe as God’s will. And just a random thought came up how many months back that if ever I bear him a son for our firstborn, I will name him Zaphen which is short for the Egyptian name of Joseph, Zaphenath Paneah, meaning “ruler of nations.”

I mentioned in a previous article too regarding my husband’s Dad who has coworkers whose names are Job and Revelation. I have read the book of Job but I haven’t read the entire book of Revelation.

So that’s what I read just recently and a lot of thoughts came in. All were assumptions and yet I know I cannot claim with utmost authority they will turn out to be true. Well, the human part of me tells me I just have a mind of a writer that is why my imagination goes as far as it can go given some certain information – piecing the puzzle together. But I know all will be revealed in God’s perfect time according to God’s perfect ways. 🙂

But do allow me to share what my findings are which I find sort of interesting and exciting but with a little bit of fear and uncertainty. Yet God never fails to assure us in this verse:

Hebrew 10:43 NLT

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.”

The book of Revelation is all about Jesus’ second coming. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you read it as I believe God is calling us to read it. 🙂

It was indicated in the book what will happen in that second coming. There was a mention of the Great Earthquake, thunder, the 144,000 chosen people who will be saved (which includes those from the tribe of Joseph), the 7 churches, the angels, the devil, and lastly the woman who is pregnant with a baby who will rule the world and Satan chases after her so he could snatch the baby away from her but God made sure the woman and the baby are well-protected.

Me and my husband do not plan to have a baby this year, but if God wills it, then I know there will be a baby. If I conceive this month or next month, I am due to deliver the baby by May or June 2016.

The number of the enemy/beast/Satan is 666 or 616. My graduation date from my Master’s degree in UP Diliman falls on 6/26/2016. If I indeed graduate, which I really am hoping will happen, it will be freedom from the long struggle that I have been through trying to finish it for about 5 and 1/2 years now.

I can’t help but wonder, is 6/6/16 or 6/16/16 or 6/26/16 or the days after that be the moment that the reign of the enemy will end – Jesus will come? But then, only God REALLY knows when. 🙂

But when Jesus arrives, I have the Spikenard perfume to anoint Him, like what Magdalena did. Kidding. *wink* Well, honestly, arriving to this made me smile so big that I thought, “Okay Tin, people might think you are now talking rubbish.” Well, I have a God who does a lot of mysteries you can’t help but just smile your biggest and your sweetest when you encounter one. 😀

Sometimes knowing things makes you a bit scared but for the whole part, there goes the enlightenment. Usually it is associated to the purpose that God has called you to fulfill which is your mission. And yet, you will also be reminded of the verse I shared before this. There really is nothing to be afraid of or that maybe things happen by chance. For I believe they all happen because of a purpose – that of fulfilling God’s plans.

Prior to the wedding, I was so busy with everything and yet I felt the urge to share stuff about my faith on this blog but because I was so tired, I always would skip it until the next day. Until a sure message from the Spirit finally pushed me to sharing this. I encountered this comment from a cousin of mine (Hi Nadja! *wink*) in one of the bible verses I posted on Facebook. And I know it is one of the “gentle tuggings” calling me to go back to my mission – share my faith through my blog.

Do you believe in miracles? Yes, I do. Because I believe in God and in Jesus Christ, of whom all the wonders and mysteries in this world were made possible through faith. It’s just that my mind is very limited to knowing and interpreting the entirety of God’s plans and schemes and how they work because I am only human and I am no God. 😉

To end this, I will just share this devotion I had in one of my bible study plans from my You Version bible app and just want to highlight what faith and patient endurance mean. For I know that is what God wants us to have in preparation for the Second Coming. I know that for believers, it will be so much rejoicing and celebration – a very happy one. 🙂

“Genesis 37:1–36

Rachel, Jacob’s favorite wife, bore only two children: Joseph and Benjamin. She died giving birth to Benjamin, at which time Jacob seemed to transfer all his affection for her to Joseph. His favoritism stoked intense jealousy among Joseph’s ten older brothers, and Joseph’s dreams that they would all bow down to him pushed them over the edge.

Even though Joseph’s life seemed to go in the opposite direction of his dreams, God was already working to fulfill those dreams. That’s often how God’s promises function in our lives: We trust in God, but then our circumstances contradict our faith. In the process, our faith is stretched, strengthened and eventually satisfied. Sometimes that process takes years—it certainly did for Joseph—but in the end faith and patient endurance are duly rewarded.”

And last but not the least, it also came perfectly in time that one of my best soul sisters shared to me this great movie on Facebook just a few days after all of these revelations. I highly encourage you to watch this – just the perfect ending perfect to cap off this article. 🙂

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