Typhoon Yolanda Reminder: As A Filipino, I Will Always Be A Christian Bicolana

In light of the recent calamity that killed thousands of people in the Visayas and Mindanao regions affecting several  neighboring provinces including my hometown in Bicol here in the Philippines and as a Filipino, I would like to ask for your support, in any way that you possibly can, for the victims of the super typhoon Yolanda.

Please visit this link for a list of legitimate organizations/relief centers where you could send in your donations: http://www.wheninmanila.com/verified-legit-ways-to-help-super-typhoon-haiyan-yolanda-victims-how-to-donate-or-volunteer-with-legitimate-organizations/.

Or if you cannot, please join us in praying for our fellow countrymen. We, the Filipinos, will be extremely grateful for any help and support that you could offer.

To my dear fellow Filipinos, though we may have severely suffered, rest in the fact that we are never alone in this. We will rise and rise we will with the help of our fellow brothers and sisters from all around this world. Despite the adversities that have brought us down to our knees, our kindred spirits will remain to be strong and steadfast. Our cries for plea, our tears for our losses, our battered and tired bodies – it is our strong spirits that will never falter.

I pray that through these all, may the Lord God Almighty continue to shower us with His love, protection, guidance and provisions.

Continue to hope, continue to pray, continue to strive in finding the good in what was left – again, we are never alone.

May God bless us all!

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Wherever God would take me, whatever God would give me, I will bring with me two identities: first, I am a Christian and second, I am a Bicolana.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

I can never be more proud of anything I have and whoever I have become other than those two I have mentioned.

Why a Christian? I am nothing and nobody without my God, first and foremost. My identity is in Him. I need not say more as it is what it already is.

Why a Bicolana then? Ahh, this is most likely where I’ll be explaining more.

I grew up in the province. I spent more than half of my life there. As of writing, that is. There’s no other place that I could ever call ‘home’ except Bulan. Yes, that is my hometown, specifically located in the south of Luzon island, Sorsogon City, Philippines.

Bulan, Sorsogon

Bulan, Sorsogon

It has a distance of 667 kilometres (414 mi) from Manila, 63 kilometres (39 mi) from the province’s capital Sorsogon City, 20 kilometres (12 mi) from the town of Irosin and 30 kilometres (19 mi) from the town of Matnog. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulan,_Sorsogon)

Sorsogon City is a coastal area, surrounded by beaches of all sand color. From white, to pink, to black –  you name it, we have it. Rich of natural resources, fishing and farming have been the sources of livelihood of almost all the Bulanons (that’s how we generally call ourselves).

Fishing

Fishing

If there is one value that being a Bicolana has taught me, it would be this – knowing your roots. In other words, learn to look back from your humble beginnings. Bulan is the one thing that has taught me how it is to be humble and to be grateful. Humility bespeaks when the heart is in awe of the mediocre. I know you are going to agree with me right there.

I came from a family of farmers. My parents, my grandparents and the parents before them all came from humble beginnings. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. Gratitude is what I could offer to my ancestors, for the sacrifices and hard work that they have invested in providing the best for their families.

I came from a generation wherein I don’t have to go to the fields and do the farming myself and go home with sweaty clothes covered in mud just to pay for all of my expenses and supply my needs. An experience I never had to go through and yet something that I would want to go through.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

They say that for someone to appreciate the value of something less than its market value and more of its sentimental value, you have to work for it and have it like how it is usually done and achieved. You have to sweat it out, so to speak.

I was listening to the podcast of Pastor Christian Flores regarding Victory’s new series entitled “It’s Not About The Money” two Sundays ago and he mentioned about the story of a farmer and how this farmer has invested his earnings in acquiring an even bigger barn where he could store more which actually resulted to his own destruction.

That made me thought about our farm, our farmers and what do we really get from it. For starters, our farm house did not change though how many years and decades have passed, we are earning just enough, we are still living frugal lives though we have acquired some possessions through time – still, I think it is not about the money. Money, for us, is something that has to do with survival but never to accumulate great wealth and live grandiose, rich lives.

I might be speaking out of righteousness here but if you will personally ask me, that is how I think it should be. I do not wish to dwell on this matter then and will just leave all the explaining to our Pastors as they lead us on with the series – a reason for you to stay tuned for our upcoming podcasts or better yet visit a nearby Victory church: http://victory.org.ph/. (Sorry for the shameless plugging, but I felt you would understand it better if the explaining would come from our church leaders).

victoryqc.org

victoryqc.org

This is the season of harvesting and when I went home during the holidays last November 1 and 2, I chanced upon the last harvest in our farm. I have skin asthma and as much as I should be staying away from hay, I know it would not stop me from going along with my Dad. I suffered the consequences later on – cough got worse and itchy rashes came out that last for usually a week leaving black spots on your skin that last for about how many months.

Anyway, the last time I have been with my Dad during harvesting was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I could still remember how our parents would ask us (not really me as I was way too young, but my sisters and brother) to help in drying the “palay” we have harvested so they would be sold to the millers for a good price before they sell it to the market.

And yes, how could I forget all the scurrying here and there, to and fro when dark clouds come and heavy rains start to pour. It only means sweeping the grains, piling and covering them up as FAST as you can to prevent them from getting wet, thus lowering the chances of getting a low price as “palay” buyers measure the moisture content of the rice grains. The drier the grain is, the higher its market value.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

My Dad is not a farmer per se. He is a civil engineer who juggled two occupations at the same time – that of a farmer and a superintendent at the National Irrigation Administration in the Bicol region (officially at San Ramon, OIC in Masbate and Sorsogon City). He is now 74 years old, retired from his engineering career and yet a continuing farmer. I have always admired my Dad, how at his age, still manages to do what he would always do at the farm despite his arthritis, gout attacks, hypertension, cataract and other illnesses of the aged. Although we don’t dry the harvested rice grains anymore to lessen the stress level of all the scurrying and hurrying, tending the farm is still a busy work to do.

I went to the farm with my Dad not to harvest the grains myself and have them threshed out but witness how it is usually done. I have to get into the particulars as to how to do this and that. Well, I might consider farming as my job someday. Yes, “Tin” the farm girl. *wink* I think I heard my Kuya’s sarcastic chuckle back there again. Haha Yeah, right. And yes, I wanted to observe how our farmers do it – our trusted and loyal workers. I admired them more than I have admired an office employee (no offense to office workers). But hard labor is no easy job. Exposed in the heat of the sun, bending over for hours either planting rice seedlings or harvesting them, soaked in mud or inhaling the itchy hay dust when threshing are, for me, among the most challenging tasks.

I closely looked at all of them. I saw Tio Digoy and Tio Kadog – they are the oldest among all of them. They have been working for my Dad since I was a kid. Now, their sons are working for us as well. I have learned to love them for all that they have put up for me and my family. I am praying that someday, through us, their sons, daughters and grandchildren will have a better future because of their parents and grandparents’ hard work. Though that means we might lose workers in our farms, it would also be equivalent to giving everyone the chance to have better lives than what they have now.

I am praying too that someday, there will no longer be a need for manual labor and everything will be run by machines, operated in a clean office from planting to harvesting rice. And that goes as well for harvesting coconuts and converting them into copra. The team of Tio Digoy also does them for us. Skilled, they really are. My family and I will always be grateful to them. We will always be grateful to Him for any blessing that He has bestowed as well as for His guidance and protection not just to me and my family but to our workers and their families as well.

Coconuts being made into copra.

Coconuts being made into copra.

So if you think this is what I do in Bicol:

Think again, because this is what I usually do:

"Tin, The Farm Girl"

“Tin, The Farm Girl”

Well, aside from washing the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the pets, etc. and having a little vacation time. We have no helpers/”yayas” back home and here in Manila, by the way.

Now, that is who I really am. Look back, give back  and be grateful.

Grace

Victory's Proof Series

Victory’s Proof Series

Just because we have a God who listens and a God who provides. 🙂

Broken Nigel: The Real Story Behind The Lens

Broken Nigel

Broken Nigel

It happened a few hours before New Year. New Year’s Eve it is, a few hours before the clock struck 12 signifying the start of a new year – 2013. I never thought that it would happen. The camera has been with me for two years.

Yes, Nigel is my dslr camera. I have always loved photography and it was only recently that I have decided to start taking photos and make it as a full time hobby. Full time hobby would mean using the camera as often as I could at any given time. It served as an avenue for me to recover from a painful past.

Came our family outing wherein I was excited enough to capture the moments. It was a swimming event and everybody was busy carrying a lot of picnic stuff.

Then the unexpected happened.

We were on our way home, I was seated at the back beside my niece and I unintentionally placed the camera on top of the bags without tying the sling to the head rest of the back seat.

I didn’t hear nor feel “danger signals” at that moment and it was already too late to realize it when before I could go out of the car, “blag!” There goes my camera falling and rolling onto the pavement. My brother and Dad were both aghast when they picked up the camera. And yes, I am to blame. I was too confident that nothing will happen to my camera as I was always too cautious making sure that it is on the safe spot where it won’t get wet, where it won’t fall, etc. But you can never let your guard down, as they say.

So yes, that was the first “strike” on my camera. The LCD was broken. And I feared the worst – the camera will not be able to withstand the fall it won’t turn on anymore. But I was thankful though because the camera is inside the case and it cushioned the fall. It was the corner of the guard for the camera strap placed on top of the LCD that caused it to crack. It did turn on. And that was something I am so grateful for.

A week before I went home to Bicol, I bought an LCD cover for the camera. For almost 2 years I haven’t thought about purchasing one just until last year.  Little did I know that this gut feeling/inner voice that urged me to do so is actually God trying to tell me in preparation for something big that’s going to happen.

Then a week after that, a relationship with someone very dear to me was severed. Emotional ties were tested up to the limit. It got broken too. That was a week after the incident with my camera happened. So now I was dealing with two things: an intangible and tangible one. And there’s one thing that they both have in common – both are broken. My next question then was, “why?” What is the significance of the two events? Most especially, what was God’s purpose why He made them happen?

Then it came to me that yes, both were meant to be broken. Why? I grew up to be complacent, taking things as they are, letting things stay as they are, unaware and unsuspecting of any danger. I was taken off guard, so to speak. I wasn’t able to fix both before leaving Bicol. Then there came the annual Prayer Fasting in our church. It started exactly the day when I arrived from Bicol carrying with me the “broken” stuff. The Prayer and Fasting placed me in that moment of thinking things through, asking for forgiveness, and talking to God regarding these matters.

Yes, both incidents were meant to happen upon my leaving Bicol. God reminded me what are the things needed to be “fixed” which I have started to be complacent about and start praying for it during the Prayer and Fasting. Yes, that is how amazing our God is. He leads us to the path where we should rightfully head. He sees the “strains” and the “burden” that we will carry if we do not take action and just let things dwindle along.

I went through all the hassle of having my camera checked up and was thankful when I found out that I don’t have to pay thousands and thousands of pesos to have it fixed. It was only the external LCD that was broken. Whew! Thanks to the LCD protector that I bought a week before my camera fell. It was the one thing that prevented the shock from penetrating to the interiors of the camera. It also prevented the LCD glass from shattering and falling into pieces. It was the one thing that basically held everything together.

The same thing happened to the relationship. I prayed for healing during the Prayer and Fasting. I asked for forgiveness and have sworn to let go of my pride, accept my mistakes and apologize. Yes, I may not be able to fix the relationship totally but because of God, He prevented the relationship from shattering completely into pieces. Because when that happens, it would be beyond repair.

The camera was fixed; the relationship was also fixed.

I am more than grateful to God for giving me the guidance and the discernment to follow what He wants me to do. Moreover, I am more than glad I have made the move to obey and trust Him. God is the one thing that held everything together even until now.  He made it all possible so that things would be at the right track, almost perfect, and I may be at peace. More or less. 🙂

Filipino Governance: Democracy is No Longer an Option

Or so I thought.

With the issues at hand in the current political system and governance, I can no longer stay mum and just ‘do my part.’  Sentiments of irate citizens are everywhere. If I am to say now that you join me in praying for our leaders and our country and leave it all to that, most likely I will also have a piece of the pork used in the Million People March at Luneta last August 26 thrown at me.

Yes, I understand. A social upheaval against the government means only one thing – it is a call for action. It is time for the public to learn from the consequences of vote buying, of previous officials charged of graft and corruption being reelected in office to just being plain forgiving. Mistakes are repeatedly committed because no one was ever convicted guilty of graft and corruption and has been justly punished for it.

The irony of it all is this – we, Filipinos, are being punished for having the ‘soft’ culture. Is it my conscience that is urging me to speak out and condemn? No, a conscience that goes far beyond my not voting during elections for a decade already. I never cared, it never mattered. My one single vote for a good official is nothing compared to the millions who voted for the wrong ones.

Red

Red

Red symbolizes love and passion yet it also symbolizes rage and war.

I raise red.

A love-hate relationship with my country and my countrymen. But I am a Filipino, I have a ‘soft,’ forgiving heart. I live in the Philippines, it is a democratic country. I am bound by the societal rules but I follow one ruler – God. I chose to pray, to live well and do what I can do in my own little way. How? By asking God through a prayer to lead me to what it is that He would want me to do for me to be able to help.  I will wait for His instructions. How will you know? You will know. All you have to do is trust God and Him alone.

Whatever the results of the investigation will be, I will continue doing what is good for this country through the Lord’s guidance. I will not just sit and wait for legislators to do their jobs. I will do my job as well as a citizen – not just by paying the taxes alone but extending help to those who may be directly or indirectly affected by the inconsistencies and irregularities in our current political system. Share what you know to help your fellow countrymen.

I say, ACT NOW. 

“Fix Your Eyes On Him”

I was randomly searching bible verses over the internet to get me through the day when I came across a picture of a woman looking upwards and a bible verse from Hebrews 12:2 that says:

“fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

I was simply not just motivated by the verse, itself, but the photo of the girl as well which made me create this art work.

I hope I have made even just the slightest improvement when it comes to rendering.

🙂

I Have Made A Friend – In Jail

Davao City Jail

Davao City Jail

No. I wasn’t arrested. Just in case you are wondering. 🙂

It was my first time to be in jail. I was nervous. I have always thought of prisons in a very negative manner – a correctional facility for the “bad guys” of society. I expected to see and experience the worst – prisoners taunting us, throwing things while we are looking around, screaming, dirty environment and prison cells.

That was before I entered the compound of the Davao City Jail. When I got inside, I was surprised. I saw colourful homes with curtained windows, flowers, plants, trees and a pavilion with a stage decorated for a program. I saw women sweeping the yard, washing laundry, creating and weaving handicrafts –  it doesn’t look like a jail at all.

Yes, the jail wardens referred to the jail houses as “cottages” and the prisoners as “bakasyonistas” or “tourists.” Their quarters are indeed small cottages and if you weren’t informed beforehand, you might think that there is a small community inside. Except that the settlers are all women – a correctional facility for female prisoners.

Slowly, I became more comfortable as our guide, who happened to be one of the prisoners also, toured us around and explained what the “bakasyonistas” are doing, what the particular cottages are for and how the system in that community works. Our purpose for the visit is to learn about how they run the program on ALS or Alternative Learning System as part of the requirements in one of my classes in my graduate study at the University of the Philippines in Diliman.

The ALS aims to provide opportunities for these women to study and learn while inside the facility to help them earn for a living through the income generated from the handicrafts that they have created. As for the younger women, this will be an equivalent to a vocational course that would certify them of getting decent and promising careers outside when they have served their terms and are released from the facility.

Most of the “bakasyonistas” were detained due to drug-related offenses. Some accounts are based on a drug-busting operation and they just happen to be included because they were at the scene when the operation happened but were innocent of the crime. A classmate of mine and I were given the opportunity to interview one “bakasyonista.”

Her name is *Rosa. She is 25 years old, 2 years younger than me. She has two kids already and she’s been in the facility for about almost 2 years. She and her husband were separated even before she was arrested. When I saw her, I never felt any apprehension how to approach her. She seems harmless. She greeted us with a smiling face, a bit shy. She carries a very light expression about her while we were conversing. We asked her about how she finds the ALS program and found out that she is one of the staff in-charge with the art decorations of the stage. She said that she loves to do art works and she is also one of the women in that community who weaves ladies’ bags out of straw.

She said that it is a very good opportunity for them that they are studying through the ALS because it gives them hope. It gives them another chance to start something good for a new beginning when they leave the facility. I asked her what she plans to do after she has served her term, she said she plans on putting up her own handicraft store and she wanted to see her two kids as she missed them so much already. She said that she seldom sees the kids as they are studying and her mom and relatives are also too busy to pay her a visit. They get to visit her once or twice a year. I asked her when her term will end. She was silent at first, looked at her hands laid out in front of her and then, she cried.

She doesn’t know for how long she will stay inside the facility. In between sobs, she told us she misses her children so badly. Sometimes, even if the facility seems to be a good community and they are treated pretty well, it still feels lonely. She said that yes, they may be seeing homes, flowers, plants – a regular community, but at the back of her mind, the thought still remains that they are prisoners. That though they may be free to roam around the compound, they still can’t leave the facility and mingle with the rest of society, free to do anything they want.

At that time, while she is talking, I wanted to cry too. But I just held her hand and listened. By the end of her story, I told her with a smiling face, “Don’t lose hope. Have your faith in God. He will give you the strength to overcome all those feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. You will get out of this facility, you will be free and you will be able to see your children soon.”

I changed the topic as soon as I said that to prevent her from crying even more. I asked her what she did on Valentine’s Day. She told us that she was one of the “bakasyonistas” who conceptualized the theme for the stage decoration and yes, she had a date. After saying this, yes, the light, bubbly *Rosa was back again. I teased her. I asked who the guy is. She told us that the guy is one of the male detainees at the men’s correctional facility which is the compound next to theirs.

So I wondered how they got to know each other. She said that it was through a dance group, where she and the guy were members, while they were practicing for a dance presentation. After that, they have been sending love letters to each other through a window. She is blushing while saying all these and I can’t help but feel happy for her.

When our professor told us to wrap up the interview, I asked her if she can show me some of the handicrafts she made. She showed me a purple and blue shoulder bag. Being a fashionista, I liked it right after I saw it. I asked her how much is it. She told me it is worth Php350.00 which is equivalent to US $7. I gave her a 500-peso bill and told her to just keep the change.

I was expecting her to say “Thank you” and only that. But no, she hugged me tight, almost jumping from joy, smiled, and told me, almost crying, how grateful she is. She just could not thank me enough; she told me she will use the money to buy her youngest girl a new pair of school shoes. She then told me to wait because she has something more for me. I told her it is fine as we are also about to leave. But she still insisted, so I gave in. She returned a few minutes after with a coin purse and a belt made of the same color to the bag I bought. She is giving them to me, for free, so they would match my bag.

Image

*Rosa’s Handwoven Bag, Belt and Coin Purse All Made of Straw

When she said that, it was I who wanted to cry right then and there. It is a good thing I was able to control my tears. I thanked her and just told her how nice of her to do that and for having a big heart. I told her that I will never ever forget her. I asked her how I can contact her. She gave me the number of the facility and her full name. Afterwards, I hugged her tightly again and she hugged me back just as tight, smiling with a light and happy heart. I, then, bid her farewell.

As I was inside the van with the rest of the class on our way to our dormitel, I began to replay what just happened. Those few minutes that I got to talk to her, see the community and hear their stories, I felt like I have learned a year-worth of experience.

As the facility is starting to get smaller and farther from our view, I can only utter a prayer. A prayer of hope for *Rosa, her children and her family. A prayer for her that she would continue to look into life on a positive perspective despite what she went through, going through and her sacrifices. That she would continue to hold on to her dreams despite all the feelings of loneliness, depression and hopelessness.

Yes, I have faith. I told her to have faith. God is good and loving enough to answer prayers when we repent and ask for His forgiveness. He has a purpose for every single thing that we experience. I told her to be patient. God makes all things beautiful in His time. Just trust and obey.

Lastly, I pray for her heart, that though it may have been broken, though it may have been tainted, it still would remain to be capable of loving and caring.

It was golden. That moment was golden.

That Moment of Pure Bliss

Today, I woke up doing my same old routine – feed the kittens, fix my bed, read the Bible and pray.

What was unusual with this day though was this – while praying, I cried. It can’t be my PMS as I just had my girl thing a week ago. Nor is it because I was tired yesterday. Or because I was sad, lonely, angry or any of those “feeling down” moments and “emo” days.

I think it was that pure bliss of having my quiet time alone with God. That time when I talk to Him as if He is in front of me, thank Him for making things possible, for the beauty of life despite struggles, failures and pain. That moment of deeper understanding why things happen, why you meet certain people and feel certain emotions with them, why you have to make certain decisions and do certain things.

But why cry over them? I had no idea at first. I just remembered thinking I should go over my Preparing for Victory and One to One booklets once again to reread what my VG leader, Sheryl and I have discussed to uplift my spirits. It was only then that the thought started to sink in – I was caught up in a whirlwind of events for the past weeks and months, to make me appreciate a lot of things in preparation for an event I almost forgot – March 2 and 3 are my very special dates with my Creator.

But then again, why cry on a Monday? It was God’s way of reminding me that it is supposed to be my week of quiet time with Him in preparation for this coming weekend. I was meant to cry today, according to His plans. 😀

Yes, God prepared me well, indeed. 😉

“I Volunteer!”

Image

Yep, I am joining in. 🙂

I checked one of the little boxes right up there. Most probably you’re going to ask, why Communications Ministry? I, myself, don’t even have the slightest idea why I chose that when it wasn’t even part of the 3 ministries that I am choosing from – Kids Ministry, Music Ministry and Admin Support.

All I could remember was my hand and my pen gravitating toward the box beside Communications Ministry when Pastor Dan started counting down during the worship service the Sunday before last Sunday saying, “Okay, you have 10 more seconds left to decide where you want to volunteer.” I just stared at the check mark after checking the box contemplating why.

But I did not dare change it. Again, I don’t know why. Until I submitted the form. I can neither ask God why. For I know not what the plans He has for me. But if this is my calling, then, I would definitely accept it. Wholeheartedly. 🙂

As with any obligation, responsibility and form of volunteerism, commitment is the key in providing a successful and fulfilling service. I only have one prayer at this point – may God guide me so I would be able to stay committed and focused with this new endeavor and be able to serve His purpose.

All for You, Father God. All for You. 🙂

As I Was Thinking Back

If only I can be whimsical of my imprudence and settled to be less reckless, then impediments would have been easier tackled. Ahhh, the repercussions of a risk taker, it is. More failures than success.

I craved for vengeance, I was given forgiveness.

I claimed to be stonehearted, I was given pity.

I longed to set barriers, still, I was guilt –stricken.

I am humbled.

I repented.

I accepted.

I was given life, did I honor it? NO.

But God was so loving I was given a second chance to live life well. Thank You for this wonderful chance, Father God. I, indeed, aim to use it well. 🙂