Tag Archives: faith

Patterns and Textures

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Details.

Never a piece of art can go without them. Never can an artist, a photographer, a fashion designer nor a dancer do their craft without them. In general, never will a project be made complete without them.

In photography, emphasis is given more on the details presented through the photographs. I usually highlight details in my photographs through patterns i.e. angles, positioning, etc. and macro shots.

The following snapshots are just a few of my favorite “detailed” shots:

Tin Ginete

Dried Anahaw Leaves

Tin Ginete

Colorful Woven Chair Made from Abaca

Tin Ginete

The Balustrade

In life, when patterns no longer benefit you, it is best to break them. Otherwise, the texture of your life will be nothing else but rough most of the time. Make it smooth sometimes, make it glisten, try a different pattern this time. What pattern, you say?

Conversations with God might help. 🙂

Join us for our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting by visiting this site: http://victory.org.ph/midyearfasting2014/

Instrument

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When I was saved, the next thing I prayed to God was  for Him to use me as an instrument to reach out to the people who are “lost” and let them know about Jesus Christ. Little did I know and neither did I really understand what being an “instrument” meant back then. Until came that time when I was given the actualities on what it really feels and what is it really like to be used as an instrument.

I have learned two things when God used me: sacrifices and humility. Exactly how God sent Jesus Christ as the way for us to be saved. To follow Christ is to accept Him first as your Savior and be Christlike. It meant going through sacrifices and having humility. I didn’t understand at that time why I had to go through the same things I went through before when I am already a Christian now, pure and devoted. Trials after trials came. Setback after setback. I got corrupted again but I held on to my faith. I noticed that the more I become bolder with my faith and in my devotion, the enemy strikes even harder and more painful this time.

But, what the enemy didn’t know that for every hardest blow I take, I come out unscathed. For every failure, I come back up twice as high as I fell. I have wounds, but I am made whole again. For I have a God who heals, who restores and redeems. 🙂

“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” – Psalm 55:22

Sacrifices played a crucial role being an instrument in spreading the Word of God. It meant persecution, corruption at one point and eventually reaffirmation of faith. To sacrifice is to bleed, to lay open your wounds, to submit every part of your being for the good of one or many.

To be able to endure sacrifices is humility at its best. You are subdued to the lowest point of your weaknesses leaving them raw and open and yet this is what gives you the opportunity to trust God and have faith in Him wholly, with no reservations and with utmost sincerity.

Indeed, when you reach out to the “lost,” how would you help them when you don’t know what they really are going through? How can you sympathize with them when you don’t know the pain they feel, the sorrow they go through, and the struggles they face in every aspect of their lives? I had to experience them too. And when I went through all that, I already know how to deal with them, I know what to do when I make this mistake, I already know who and where to turn to. And that is what they needed to hear, that is what they needed to learn and that is why God gave me the task.

Testimonies are always the best examples of salvation and ultimately, of God’s love through the Cross. They are the best motivators for a changed life, so to speak. I was subverted back to who I was because God is assured that I can never be led astray this time. Though I have to make the sacrifices, He knows I will be going back to Him, seeking and reaching Him out all the more. Then, share the Word and the meaning of the Cross.

Yes, being an instrument is a two-way learning process. I, too, was learning. I, too, feel the pain. I, too, feel the struggle – with them who are “lost.” But the only difference, I had a steadfast faith and I know the meaning of the Cross. I always go back to God, I always think about the Grace. I “report” what I did, I repent if I made mistakes along the way, I submit to His will and then I accept what needs to be done  next through prayers for continued guidance from our Father.

“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” – Galatians 5:6

At the end of it all, I ask myself: “Why do that, Tin? Why ask God to give you the task of being an instrument in letting people know about Him? Why let yourself go through all the pain and the sacrifices?”

At first, I don’t know the answer. But God gave the answer: it was LOVE. He loves us so much that is why He sent His son Jesus Christ to save us from our sins. I love my God and Jesus Christ so much for this GRACE, I love the people around me too much I want them to be saved too. It was all for LOVE that I will endure the sacrifices, that I will accept humility. For I know too that this LOVE that saved me will be the LOVE that will save them all too.

This was the love that I used to sarcastically joke about. The love that I used to amusingly take for granted. The love that I have no regard at all. And yet, it was because of this LOVE that I survived in this world.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his LOVE into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

– Romans 5: 1-5

Before I end this article, I would like to share this verse as a reminder so as to not fall into the trap that the enemy has set out for us in order to cut in on our RACE towards GRACE:

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

– Galatians 5: 19-21

Forgive yourself, no one is condemning you. But continue to do what is good, what is right and what is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. So my dear brothers and sisters, I pray that may we all work together towards having this through Jesus Christ our Savior – LIFE IN ETERNITY and continue the good fight of faith, no matter what it takes. 🙂

 

“Blanket of Love”

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Together

(Just another poem by yours truly for you. 🙂 )

Joy it was to know you,

Oh sweet you are it is true.

Such a thing of beauty,

Entranced by you so deeply.

Praise to Him for this Grace,

He has shown me steps to trace.

Back to an old feeling,

Racing heartbeats, never ceasing.

I wished it to be real,

A love to hold and to feel.

Now I’d have to believe,

Good things we are to receive.

Romance just has its thrall,

On you and me after all.

Made it right through that call,

Enough…enough to make me fall.

A Seasoned Life: My Past vs My Present

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@ Dads (Kamayan)

@ Dads (Kamayan)

Life is like a drink.

Sometimes it is too sweet, but sometimes it becomes too sour. Sometimes it is bland and sometimes it just has the perfect blend.

I grew up with a lot of fears. I grew up knowing too well what my weaknesses are. I grew up with a lot of insecurities.

I got out of that world. A hunger crept within me. I explored, soared – I am enjoying every single bit of it. That was my notion of “freedom.”

Danger was lurking the moment I stepped out and spread my wings. I soared high unwary of failures. I held on to what this world offers. I made a lot of mistakes, far too many I lost track of what is good and what is right.

Then I fell.

I felt an excruciating pain. A pain from a wound that is nowhere visible. I sobbed, sprawled in the bathroom floor, on my bed, in a corner. Endless gruelling fits of flowing tears that continued for days, weeks, months and years.

Then I surrendered.

I surrendered to His love. It was because of His love that I was saved. I repented and I accepted – my faith as my fate. That I am His daughter and that He is my Father and my Master. Obedience and service to Him who made what I have now and where I am now possible.

Did I ever think that I would be where I am now? No. I had no idea. But I had felt it. It was far too strong to dismiss. To heed to the calling of being where I truly belong – in His refuge.

My drink now? I must say it’s the four seasons fruit drink – a combination of different flavors. Not too sweet nor too sour, just the right flavor. I am just happy I am ending this year with just the right attitude, the right faith and the right spirit.

Now, let’s drink to that and be merry, shall we? 😉

You Just Have To Learn How To Say “NO”

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Red, Hot Chili

Red, Hot Chili

This red, hot chili reminded me of this word – NO. Some people like it, some don’t. And for most people whom I have offered this to who really, really hate chili, they just stood their ground and firmly said “NO” no matter how many times I have asked them to try it. (Well, I can really be VERY persuasive sometimes.) 😉

[You just have to learn how to say “NO.”]

My eldest sister used to tell me this way, way back when I was younger – my teenage years. Now, I found myself saying this to myself again and again.

Say “NO” to a job that does not make you any better anymore – forced to work beyond what you can handle, compassion is absent, profit is the main target and offering minimum wages.

Know when your rights are violated. We tend to reason and equate this to how Christ has suffered for us – that we, too, should suffer the same.  Yes and no. Yes, we should be brave enough to withstand any challenge.  But no, learn to know when it is not healthy for you anymore. You have to think more of yourself at this point and look after your own welfare. Not because you are selfish but because you cannot give your best if you are not at your best. Quality versus quantity. How can you help others when you are struggling to even help yourself?

Say “NO” to a relationship wherein the other half requires you to meet his/her demands that are not supposed to be given at the point of your relationship (not yet married).

When a relationship brings you nothing but heartache, tears, doubts, lies, rage, contempt and more sins, it is time to let go. Mishaps in relationships are a given. Pain in love is inevitable. Yet with all things, they should always be in a state of balance. Never is there a thing such as pure and absolute happiness and just that. Neither should there be anything such as pain and sadness all the time.

Say “NO” to an addiction/craving that brings you nothing but wasted money, effort, time and a cursing heart.

It is time to give it up if it makes you feel bad as a person, if it makes you feel less of a person, if it makes you pose more questions of self-doubt than self-fulfilment and satisfaction.  Idolatry is one of the worst sins ever committed. You are not aware you are doing more harm than good to yourself with your decision to stick through it, making excuses for it.

Easy for me to say, that is what you are going to say. 🙂

I do get you.

We value our jobs because we need money to survive. But here is what I have to say too. There are a lot of better opportunities out there. You have better chances of letting God make you to who He wants you to be out there than where you are now. Who am I to say this? Let’s say I just learned it from experience and from the habit that I will let go rather than complain how I hate my job, how it is making me unhappy, unfulfilled, and let the world know about it. If you don’t want to let it go, learn to love it and be professional.

It’s hard to let go of someone you have learned to love and shared so many memories with, sad and happy. It is hard to let go of a companion whom you were used to spending most of your time with. It is hard to move on. Yes, maybe that is the reason why you don’t want to let go. It is the fear of facing the pain, the loss and the burden of carrying bittersweet memories. I know because I went through the same. But you were crying everyday, you are always in a state of doubt, in a state of unsettling situations, complicated compromises – if you still insist on keeping the relationship, ask yourself these questions:

1. How secure is my future with my significant other going to be like?

2. What future will my children and grandchildren have if I opted to stay?

3. How long until I reach my breaking point? And when that happens, is it already too late to change my mind?

4. What consequences do I have to go through and bear?

Addiction is a bad habit magnified to a thousand. When it strikes, it kills, it destructs. It developed because it nurtures the gratification it gives us – a sense of temporary high. But the question is, in every addiction, what else did it give you aside from that temporary high? None. Because again, as I have said earlier, when it strikes, it kills, it destructs until you are left sapped out. Empty – inside and out.

I am leaving you with not so many choices, am I not? Yes, because that is my intent in writing this piece – you just have to say “NO” to anything and everything that takes the GOOD out of you.

I am not a preacher, I hate public speaking nor am I good at it. I am no counselor – I am just a concerned individual. I am not perfect – I have made more mistakes and sins in my past than most of you ever did. And lastly, I am no God – I do not know everything.

I just intend to share. Because I have learned to say “NO.” You still have a choice. You still have your free will.

Which should go second or be in accordance to God’s will. Seek Him first and obey. He knows better than any of us, anyway. In fact, He knows what is best for us. Pray earnestly, pray hardest. Then, you’ll have the courage to say “NO” when the right time comes for you to say it. 🙂

He and I Communicated

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It usually takes me 2 days after I have written an article or even a post like this one to publish it online. Those two days are usually for editing i.e. grammatical errors, sentence construction redo, delivery of ideas, etc. That’s why I have a Word file saved in my laptop where I write my thoughts down or a pen and paper beside me for those impromptu thoughts and ideas. I do a lot of editing and just plain technical editing. But that was before. Now, these two days aren’t just the usual editing, because the editing done comes from God. How and why?

I guess I need to tell you too that being vocal about my thoughts and making a lot of ‘noise’ on social media about my faith brought me to people calling me names such as a hypocrite; banal na aso, santong kabayo; Ms. Goody Two-shoes and a whole lot of other names. (Mind you, I am not offended, I am just amused.) I can go by a lot of nicknames pala. 😀

Nah, kidding aside, there comes a point wherein I do ask God before I post an article or a status update if it is the right thing to “say.” Did I write it too outlandish? Or was it too vulgar? Or did I use the proper words that were meant to be understood and not meant to ruin someone else? Do I sound too prying or too imposing? Did I share those words/thoughts in a manner that You wanted me to share it? Am I making the message across just right when it comes to faith and God? Or I’ll just deactivate my Facebook account, or I’ll just delete my blog site, or just do it altogether?

Of course, no matter how tempting deactivating is to me, which I actually did a hundred of times already way back when I wasn’t a Christian yet, it was one of my commitments to never do it again when I got saved. I just felt that I should not. Not again. Not anymore.

Because I love writing.

I love expressing my thoughts through words.  Not verbal, not in front of a crowd, but with a pencil and paper or in front of a computer screen.  I hate public speaking, I am not good at it. I stutter, my thoughts get lost as fast as it comes. My spoken words are all a jumble.

So yes, I have been praying over a lot of my posts lately here on social media. I have prayed earnestly up to the point that I asked God to talk to me in my dream, tell me directly what He would want me to do with my love for writing and is there a way that I could have done it better. I asked Him not to give signs and let me do the guessing if it is from Him or not. I fell for that trap when the enemy used it to his own advantage.

I woke up the next day, did my daily routine and opened my Twitter account. Guess what I read in my news feed?

This:

“Don’t give up on what God has called you to do. The end result is worth the pain.”

God's Daughters

God’s Daughters

To think that I wasn’t even a follower yet of this profile (upon reading the post). So I thought, “how did it get in my news feed and how come it is the only thing I saw in my Twitter page?”

I have no idea.

Read it again, this time in the profile of God’s Daughters. Okay, I got it. It is the answer to my prayer – timely, accurate, and concise. All I could blurt out was: Hallelujah! I will always be Your follower may it be on Twitter or everywhere. Now happy to serve You. 😉

Typhoon Yolanda Reminder: As A Filipino, I Will Always Be A Christian Bicolana

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© Biboi Hilotin (https://www.facebook.com/BiboiHilotin)

In light of the recent calamity that killed thousands of people in the Visayas and Mindanao regions affecting several  neighboring provinces including my hometown in Bicol here in the Philippines and as a Filipino, I would like to ask for your support, in any way that you possibly can, for the victims of the super typhoon Yolanda.

Please visit this link for a list of legitimate organizations/relief centers where you could send in your donations: http://www.wheninmanila.com/verified-legit-ways-to-help-super-typhoon-haiyan-yolanda-victims-how-to-donate-or-volunteer-with-legitimate-organizations/.

Or if you cannot, please join us in praying for our fellow countrymen. We, the Filipinos, will be extremely grateful for any help and support that you could offer.

To my dear fellow Filipinos, though we may have severely suffered, rest in the fact that we are never alone in this. We will rise and rise we will with the help of our fellow brothers and sisters from all around this world. Despite the adversities that have brought us down to our knees, our kindred spirits will remain to be strong and steadfast. Our cries for plea, our tears for our losses, our battered and tired bodies – it is our strong spirits that will never falter.

I pray that through these all, may the Lord God Almighty continue to shower us with His love, protection, guidance and provisions.

Continue to hope, continue to pray, continue to strive in finding the good in what was left – again, we are never alone.

May God bless us all!

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Wherever God would take me, whatever God would give me, I will bring with me two identities: first, I am a Christian and second, I am a Bicolana.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

The majestic Mt. Mayon and I.

I can never be more proud of anything I have and whoever I have become other than those two I have mentioned.

Why a Christian? I am nothing and nobody without my God, first and foremost. My identity is in Him. I need not say more as it is what it already is.

Why a Bicolana then? Ahh, this is most likely where I’ll be explaining more.

I grew up in the province. I spent more than half of my life there. As of writing, that is. There’s no other place that I could ever call ‘home’ except Bulan. Yes, that is my hometown, specifically located in the south of Luzon island, Sorsogon City, Philippines.

Bulan, Sorsogon

Bulan, Sorsogon

It has a distance of 667 kilometres (414 mi) from Manila, 63 kilometres (39 mi) from the province’s capital Sorsogon City, 20 kilometres (12 mi) from the town of Irosin and 30 kilometres (19 mi) from the town of Matnog. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulan,_Sorsogon)

Sorsogon City is a coastal area, surrounded by beaches of all sand color. From white, to pink, to black –  you name it, we have it. Rich of natural resources, fishing and farming have been the sources of livelihood of almost all the Bulanons (that’s how we generally call ourselves).

Fishing

Fishing

If there is one value that being a Bicolana has taught me, it would be this – knowing your roots. In other words, learn to look back from your humble beginnings. Bulan is the one thing that has taught me how it is to be humble and to be grateful. Humility bespeaks when the heart is in awe of the mediocre. I know you are going to agree with me right there.

I came from a family of farmers. My parents, my grandparents and the parents before them all came from humble beginnings. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. Gratitude is what I could offer to my ancestors, for the sacrifices and hard work that they have invested in providing the best for their families.

I came from a generation wherein I don’t have to go to the fields and do the farming myself and go home with sweaty clothes covered in mud just to pay for all of my expenses and supply my needs. An experience I never had to go through and yet something that I would want to go through.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

They say that for someone to appreciate the value of something less than its market value and more of its sentimental value, you have to work for it and have it like how it is usually done and achieved. You have to sweat it out, so to speak.

I was listening to the podcast of Pastor Christian Flores regarding Victory’s new series entitled “It’s Not About The Money” two Sundays ago and he mentioned about the story of a farmer and how this farmer has invested his earnings in acquiring an even bigger barn where he could store more which actually resulted to his own destruction.

That made me thought about our farm, our farmers and what do we really get from it. For starters, our farm house did not change though how many years and decades have passed, we are earning just enough, we are still living frugal lives though we have acquired some possessions through time – still, I think it is not about the money. Money, for us, is something that has to do with survival but never to accumulate great wealth and live grandiose, rich lives.

I might be speaking out of righteousness here but if you will personally ask me, that is how I think it should be. I do not wish to dwell on this matter then and will just leave all the explaining to our Pastors as they lead us on with the series – a reason for you to stay tuned for our upcoming podcasts or better yet visit a nearby Victory church: http://victory.org.ph/. (Sorry for the shameless plugging, but I felt you would understand it better if the explaining would come from our church leaders).

victoryqc.org

victoryqc.org

This is the season of harvesting and when I went home during the holidays last November 1 and 2, I chanced upon the last harvest in our farm. I have skin asthma and as much as I should be staying away from hay, I know it would not stop me from going along with my Dad. I suffered the consequences later on – cough got worse and itchy rashes came out that last for usually a week leaving black spots on your skin that last for about how many months.

Anyway, the last time I have been with my Dad during harvesting was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I could still remember how our parents would ask us (not really me as I was way too young, but my sisters and brother) to help in drying the “palay” we have harvested so they would be sold to the millers for a good price before they sell it to the market.

And yes, how could I forget all the scurrying here and there, to and fro when dark clouds come and heavy rains start to pour. It only means sweeping the grains, piling and covering them up as FAST as you can to prevent them from getting wet, thus lowering the chances of getting a low price as “palay” buyers measure the moisture content of the rice grains. The drier the grain is, the higher its market value.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

Harvesting and threshing of palay.

My Dad is not a farmer per se. He is a civil engineer who juggled two occupations at the same time – that of a farmer and a superintendent at the National Irrigation Administration in the Bicol region (officially at San Ramon, OIC in Masbate and Sorsogon City). He is now 74 years old, retired from his engineering career and yet a continuing farmer. I have always admired my Dad, how at his age, still manages to do what he would always do at the farm despite his arthritis, gout attacks, hypertension, cataract and other illnesses of the aged. Although we don’t dry the harvested rice grains anymore to lessen the stress level of all the scurrying and hurrying, tending the farm is still a busy work to do.

I went to the farm with my Dad not to harvest the grains myself and have them threshed out but witness how it is usually done. I have to get into the particulars as to how to do this and that. Well, I might consider farming as my job someday. Yes, “Tin” the farm girl. *wink* I think I heard my Kuya’s sarcastic chuckle back there again. Haha Yeah, right. And yes, I wanted to observe how our farmers do it – our trusted and loyal workers. I admired them more than I have admired an office employee (no offense to office workers). But hard labor is no easy job. Exposed in the heat of the sun, bending over for hours either planting rice seedlings or harvesting them, soaked in mud or inhaling the itchy hay dust when threshing are, for me, among the most challenging tasks.

I closely looked at all of them. I saw Tio Digoy and Tio Kadog – they are the oldest among all of them. They have been working for my Dad since I was a kid. Now, their sons are working for us as well. I have learned to love them for all that they have put up for me and my family. I am praying that someday, through us, their sons, daughters and grandchildren will have a better future because of their parents and grandparents’ hard work. Though that means we might lose workers in our farms, it would also be equivalent to giving everyone the chance to have better lives than what they have now.

I am praying too that someday, there will no longer be a need for manual labor and everything will be run by machines, operated in a clean office from planting to harvesting rice. And that goes as well for harvesting coconuts and converting them into copra. The team of Tio Digoy also does them for us. Skilled, they really are. My family and I will always be grateful to them. We will always be grateful to Him for any blessing that He has bestowed as well as for His guidance and protection not just to me and my family but to our workers and their families as well.

Coconuts being made into copra.

Coconuts being made into copra.

So if you think this is what I do in Bicol:

http://us.123rf.com

http://us.123rf.com

Think again, because this is what I usually do:

"Tin, The Farm Girl"

“Tin, The Farm Girl”

Well, aside from washing the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the pets, etc. and having a little vacation time. We have no helpers/”yayas” back home and here in Manila, by the way.

Now, that is who I really am. Look back, give back  and be grateful.

Heart to Heart

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"Bible Heart"

“Bible Heart”

And I said:

“So he is a flirt. And you fell for his charms. Are you willing to sacrifice your happiness when he flirts with other girls even when you are already a couple? How long are you willing to take it further when you two got married and you found out his mistress is having his baby – and she is not the only one?

Complicated, it is. Is this the kind of life you wanted for yourself and your future children?”

SILENCE.

So I continued:

“When an inner voice tells you that something is not quite right and when you ask yourself where did you go wrong, that inner voice is the Holy Spirit telling you to REPENT for your sins.

You just cannot go on sinning and then keep on asking God to forgive you. That is not the way things go. That is not what the CROSS meant and why Jesus died for us.

Believe me. I went through the same thing.”

So what now?

“SURRENDER it all to God. Cut him loose. Pray for him. Pray for yourself. Talk to God.”

What if he asks for another chance? Should I give in?

“NO. It is not your battle anymore but God’s. His chances are with God and not with you. You cannot change him. Let God change him for who and how He wants him to be.”

I don’t think I can let him go just like that. I love him.

“Ask God if that is the kind of love that He wants you to have. If you don’t feel right about it, when you are constantly hurt, then ask God to lead you. God would never want to see us crying, to see us broken. He would not send His son, Jesus Christ, to this world and let Him die on the cross if He doesn’t love us.

On the other hand, God wants to protect us from anything evil, from anything that would break us apart, from anything that is unholy. He knows you can get out of that situation. He gave us CHOICES. And as cliché as this may sound, our choices define our destiny in life.

You need not ask yourself if you are going to choose him or Him. It should ALWAYS be Him. Above everything else.”

What are the promises I will feel better afterwards, that I can move on from this and that my life will change for good?

“That is why God taught us things such as FAITH and TRUST. They are the only two things that we can offer to Him in return. Seek Him more.

Life as a Christian, no matter how devoted you are, will never be that smooth sailing. Never forget that there is that other side of the coin, always – the good, the evil; the strong, the weak; etc.

But then again, you have your CHOICES, your FAITH and your TRUST in Him. You should never worry.”

So I thought to myself:

“We may have our battered hearts but never should our souls be tormented. They were meant to be pure, to be holy – untainted.”

So the reader said:

“But we are never perfect. Even the Christians.”

Then I guess you need to read the article again. 😉

Broken Nigel: The Real Story Behind The Lens

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Broken Nigel

Broken Nigel

It happened a few hours before New Year. New Year’s Eve it is, a few hours before the clock struck 12 signifying the start of a new year – 2013. I never thought that it would happen. The camera has been with me for two years.

Yes, Nigel is my dslr camera. I have always loved photography and it was only recently that I have decided to start taking photos and make it as a full time hobby. Full time hobby would mean using the camera as often as I could at any given time. It served as an avenue for me to recover from a painful past.

Came our family outing wherein I was excited enough to capture the moments. It was a swimming event and everybody was busy carrying a lot of picnic stuff.

Then the unexpected happened.

We were on our way home, I was seated at the back beside my niece and I unintentionally placed the camera on top of the bags without tying the sling to the head rest of the back seat.

I didn’t hear nor feel “danger signals” at that moment and it was already too late to realize it when before I could go out of the car, “blag!” There goes my camera falling and rolling onto the pavement. My brother and Dad were both aghast when they picked up the camera. And yes, I am to blame. I was too confident that nothing will happen to my camera as I was always too cautious making sure that it is on the safe spot where it won’t get wet, where it won’t fall, etc. But you can never let your guard down, as they say.

So yes, that was the first “strike” on my camera. The LCD was broken. And I feared the worst – the camera will not be able to withstand the fall it won’t turn on anymore. But I was thankful though because the camera is inside the case and it cushioned the fall. It was the corner of the guard for the camera strap placed on top of the LCD that caused it to crack. It did turn on. And that was something I am so grateful for.

A week before I went home to Bicol, I bought an LCD cover for the camera. For almost 2 years I haven’t thought about purchasing one just until last year.  Little did I know that this gut feeling/inner voice that urged me to do so is actually God trying to tell me in preparation for something big that’s going to happen.

Then a week after that, a relationship with someone very dear to me was severed. Emotional ties were tested up to the limit. It got broken too. That was a week after the incident with my camera happened. So now I was dealing with two things: an intangible and tangible one. And there’s one thing that they both have in common – both are broken. My next question then was, “why?” What is the significance of the two events? Most especially, what was God’s purpose why He made them happen?

Then it came to me that yes, both were meant to be broken. Why? I grew up to be complacent, taking things as they are, letting things stay as they are, unaware and unsuspecting of any danger. I was taken off guard, so to speak. I wasn’t able to fix both before leaving Bicol. Then there came the annual Prayer Fasting in our church. It started exactly the day when I arrived from Bicol carrying with me the “broken” stuff. The Prayer and Fasting placed me in that moment of thinking things through, asking for forgiveness, and talking to God regarding these matters.

Yes, both incidents were meant to happen upon my leaving Bicol. God reminded me what are the things needed to be “fixed” which I have started to be complacent about and start praying for it during the Prayer and Fasting. Yes, that is how amazing our God is. He leads us to the path where we should rightfully head. He sees the “strains” and the “burden” that we will carry if we do not take action and just let things dwindle along.

I went through all the hassle of having my camera checked up and was thankful when I found out that I don’t have to pay thousands and thousands of pesos to have it fixed. It was only the external LCD that was broken. Whew! Thanks to the LCD protector that I bought a week before my camera fell. It was the one thing that prevented the shock from penetrating to the interiors of the camera. It also prevented the LCD glass from shattering and falling into pieces. It was the one thing that basically held everything together.

The same thing happened to the relationship. I prayed for healing during the Prayer and Fasting. I asked for forgiveness and have sworn to let go of my pride, accept my mistakes and apologize. Yes, I may not be able to fix the relationship totally but because of God, He prevented the relationship from shattering completely into pieces. Because when that happens, it would be beyond repair.

The camera was fixed; the relationship was also fixed.

I am more than grateful to God for giving me the guidance and the discernment to follow what He wants me to do. Moreover, I am more than glad I have made the move to obey and trust Him. God is the one thing that held everything together even until now.  He made it all possible so that things would be at the right track, almost perfect, and I may be at peace. More or less. 🙂

Filipino Governance: Democracy is No Longer an Option

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Or so I thought.

With the issues at hand in the current political system and governance, I can no longer stay mum and just ‘do my part.’  Sentiments of irate citizens are everywhere. If I am to say now that you join me in praying for our leaders and our country and leave it all to that, most likely I will also have a piece of the pork used in the Million People March at Luneta last August 26 thrown at me.

Yes, I understand. A social upheaval against the government means only one thing – it is a call for action. It is time for the public to learn from the consequences of vote buying, of previous officials charged of graft and corruption being reelected in office to just being plain forgiving. Mistakes are repeatedly committed because no one was ever convicted guilty of graft and corruption and has been justly punished for it.

The irony of it all is this – we, Filipinos, are being punished for having the ‘soft’ culture. Is it my conscience that is urging me to speak out and condemn? No, a conscience that goes far beyond my not voting during elections for a decade already. I never cared, it never mattered. My one single vote for a good official is nothing compared to the millions who voted for the wrong ones.

Red

Red

Red symbolizes love and passion yet it also symbolizes rage and war.

I raise red.

A love-hate relationship with my country and my countrymen. But I am a Filipino, I have a ‘soft,’ forgiving heart. I live in the Philippines, it is a democratic country. I am bound by the societal rules but I follow one ruler – God. I chose to pray, to live well and do what I can do in my own little way. How? By asking God through a prayer to lead me to what it is that He would want me to do for me to be able to help.  I will wait for His instructions. How will you know? You will know. All you have to do is trust God and Him alone.

Whatever the results of the investigation will be, I will continue doing what is good for this country through the Lord’s guidance. I will not just sit and wait for legislators to do their jobs. I will do my job as well as a citizen – not just by paying the taxes alone but extending help to those who may be directly or indirectly affected by the inconsistencies and irregularities in our current political system. Share what you know to help your fellow countrymen.

I say, ACT NOW.