My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now. We don’t have kids for reasons that only God knows. But honestly, in those 5 years, hubby and I never felt burdened by the fact that we were never blessed with kids (yet).
In fact, after we had our respective checkups, we accepted that God has a good plan behind it. These are plans that are beyond our control and yet what they demand from us is to continue seeking His counsel every single day as to what to do.
To receive the bad news that our best chances to have kids is thru IUI is far more bearable to take than accepting some of the people’s sentiments around us about our ordeal. 😀 I thank God for our families though because they treated it as something that we shouldn’t be pressured about at all.
Dealing With Social Stigma
Yes, I’ll be pretty honest. Hubby is not completely open to the idea of me sharing this. But I told him that we have to let people around us know to avoid all those awkward moments during reunions and children’s birthday parties about questions when we are going to have kids.
They would ask us casually and yet I told hubby that we can’t blame them since they don’t know exactly what we’re going through. They don’t know the visits to the doctor for our checkups and about being brave enough to endure the medical instruments inserted and injected here and there. They have no idea about how nervous we are as to what the doctor’s findings are and all the financial expenses involved.
IUI vs IVF
An IUI (intrauterine insemination) is different from IVF (in vitro fertilization) in a way that the IUI works by injecting the semen inside the uterus. Fertilization still occurs inside the uterus, while for IVF, the egg is harvested from the uterus and the fertilization takes place in the laboratory. Once the procedure is a success, the fertilized egg will be inserted back to the uterus.
Photo credit: Pixabay – Pexels
I am not afraid of the physical pain nor am I worried about financial resources. I have faith that if God wills it my husband and I will have kids through any kind of medical procedure, He will provide the means, the courage, and the right time to have it.
Complete Faith All The Way
I just can’t help but admire my husband so much in this season – his courage, his strength, his nonchalance, and his faith. It seems like he displays the character of a devout Christian more than I do. And yet it’s ironic that it is me who claims to have such great faith. 😀
There are some couples going through similar situations such as ours who would get offended when asked by friends and relatives when they’re going to have a baby. Again, we also have to understand that the reason they ask is that they know nothing about our struggles in this journey.
So I told my husband that to break this negative mentality (considered as taboo) when it comes to infertility and the inability to conceive, we have to let those around us be aware of our predicament. Involve them in this difficult season in our marriage by asking them to pray for us and letting them know what exactly we need.
Photo credit: Andreas Wohlfahrt – Pexels
Sharing to Encourage Others
My husband is partially against this. He said it is too personal. And yet I have a different urge from the Spirit on how to treat the situation. I explained that yes, it is too personal. But God may be using our situation as a testimony of our faith in Him and His saving grace.
And that by sharing our faith in this journey, we could also encourage other couples who are going through the same struggles. Maybe it is through us that they get to know who God is, for one. As typical of my husband, he will concede once he realizes that there is indeed no harm done re a particular intent that I have. 😀 And if he knows I am doing it with the Spirit’s leading.
I pray that all the couples out there who are like us will see this predicament not as a curse but an opportunity to display God’s power. It is also an avenue to show our complete faith and trust in God, alone, that even though we have no assurance as to what will happen, we will still choose to believe in Him. Husbands and wives can also use these trying times to strengthen their bond as a couple even more.
Facing Trials Head-on
This is an unfavorable season that my husband and I cannot avoid. We have to face it head-on with the courage, strength, peace, and wisdom that God gives us. We can’t avoid attending reunions and kids’ birthday parties just so we can avoid being asked the dreaded question.
It also helps us to be open about our situation giving us freedom from any feelings of bitterness, discontentment, insecurity, and hatred because of it. The sooner we accept the fact that God is in control and that what we can only do is to act according to His instructions, the lesser the burden and the more at peace we’ll become.
For those who lost unborn babies and who can never have a baby, it’s almost the same, though the gravity of their situation is even greater. As much as I would like to empathize with them, I know it is not enough. I know I can only offer them prayers that may they still find the courage to continue hoping in God’s beautiful promises despite these heartbreaking moments. ❤
You Have Been Wonderfully Made
To all the couples out there, it is time to break this silence. Because this is what the enemy will use to cripple us through bouts of depression, restlessness, guilt, shame, and unhappiness. Don’t let him make you think of yourself as less than perfect, that something is wrong with the way you were created.
No, don’t believe these lies. Don’t let the enemy win. Don’t let it consume you. We have all been fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. God may be perfect, but we are still a work in progress. We are all imperfect. We all lack something. God is not yet done with us and it is only Him who can blot out those imperfections in us when the right time comes.
Be Free
I pray that all the couples out there who are going through similar trials will be released from this stronghold of the enemy. Be free my brothers and sisters, for it is your faith that will heal you and save you from this struggle.
We just always have to remember that God is always with us no matter what. So we must never stop believing that He knows what is good for us in the long run. Trusting Him completely is the key. 🙏
“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” – Hebrews 10:39
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:11
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:13
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7
A wife waiting contentedly and happily,
P.S. I’ll just share this song, which my group and I got through draw lots, during our ‘Making Disciples’ class in our church back in 2014.
This post just reminded me about it – being BRAVE enough to break norms by saying what you want to say. 👍🙂
Featured Image: Caleb Oquendo – Pexels
The Journeyman's Moments 