The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I always find it fun and amusing when God surprises me with many things that speak directly to my heart. But this recent surprise is not that fun because it’s an instruction – a task that I have been trying to avoid.
When Mom passed away last year, I couldn’t get myself to celebrate the holidays at home. Mom always made the holidays extra special for the family when we were kids. I got the excitement of decorating the house during the holidays, preparing holiday feasts, and giving gifts from her.
I was also not feeling well during this time last year and had to be rushed to the ER, which made me decide to stay in Manila for the holidays. But this year, God’s instruction was different, and He revealed the message through a movie. I was casually browsing on YouTube for new Hallmark movies, and guess what, the first movie that came up was “Time For Us To Come Home For Christmas.”
After watching it, I felt as if God was telling me that it was about time to bring back old family holiday traditions in memory of Mom. Or maybe make some new ones. Hopefully, we can still use the Christmas tree and other Christmas decorations since we didn’t set them up last year. The photo below was taken during December 2022, Mom’s last Christmas with us.
My siblings and I used to find joy in decoratingthe house during the holidays and preparing holiday meals because of Mom. As for Dad, he has always been our ever-reliable backup help when doing errands. 😃 I pray we can bring back this joy even though Mom’s no longer with us. 🙏 Btw, there’s something in this photo that is not part of the Christmas decorations. Can you see it? 😆
Holiday celebrations will now be different. But I am grateful that the God we serve never changes in every season. And He is always there to remind us that the hope we should cling to cannot be found in this world, but through Christ alone, who was born in this world and died on the Cross to give us the most precious gift any man can ever receive – the gift of eternal salvation. 🙏
P.S. I found the anointing oil and Spikenard perfume again from my old stuff and brought them with me here in my new apartment to bless the new home. Can I use them to anoint other people when I pray over them, too? If yes, who could be the first? 😃🙏
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” – Psalm 62:5-8
This article was inspired by a recent convo. It made me wonder about that “big” word – millionaire.
Before I start with this article though, I will be describing people not because I am judging them. First, I am no saint, I have my own flaws. Second, only God does all the judging and has every right to do so. Lastly, it is only for the purpose of driving towards my point and let the message across. No offense intended here, folks. *peace* ☺
Upon observation, there are two types of millionaires – the silent type and the loud type. The loud types are those who are very obvious when it comes to their riches for the world to see. There are those, however, whom people never knew as rich and some are heirs and heiresses by birthright because they were silent all the time living very low profiles.
The loud types have all the flashy wealth anyone could think of from high-karat bling blings, designer clothes, cool cars, huge houses, and all the “riches” this world offers.
The silent types, on the one hand, are the millionaires who are dressed simply, mingled with the commoners, refused to be addressed with the title he/she deserves, and live a simple life.
For the latter, I remembered this one incident wherein I encountered a man dressed in simple casual clothes without the “tags” while going inside a 30+-storey building. He greeted everyone courteously and offered to give way to other passengers going inside the elevator. Then after we went out, I overheard someone saying, “Didn’t you know that that’s the CEO and owner of this building?”
I didn’t hear what the reply of the person’s companion was because I was heavily processing the information with unbelief. A lot of questions went through my head like why would he dress that way, how can he become a CEO and still act like a regular employee, etc.
Another similar incident happened at a resort. While touring around the place, we asked for directions from a man dressed in working clothes – all shabby and soiled. We found out later on (much to our surprise) that he is the owner of the resort. 😃
Ah yes, never judge a book by its cover, eh?
I’m just amazed how these silent millionaires prefer to be identified and be associated with having a low profile in society when their bank accounts and assets speak the opposite. They have every right to claim power, entitlement, and authority because they are rich according to this world’s standards. But they did not conform to the standards of this world.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2
This reminded me of the life of Jesus here in this world. He is a silent millionaire too. The richest, if I may add. He’s the son of God and the son of Man but He never lived a life of comfort, splendor, and extravagance just like a King. It was actually the opposite – He lived life in SIMPLICITY, HUMILITY, and SERVITUDE.
Imagine a God serving mankind. I mean, you’ll never even see it in Greek mythology. All gods and goddesses are regarded in society with such high bearing.
If there is one thing that wealth, riches, and self-glory bring and if our souls are left unchecked, it is pride. Pride leads to arrogance and arrogance leads to greed, discontentment, and so on. It glorifies no one except the world, its standards, and its riches.
Then He said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.” – Luke 12:15
“Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.” – Luke 12-21
With humility, we acknowledge there is someone supreme who is richer, someone who provides everything we need, someone who is more knowledgeable, more powerful, and someone who deserves all the glory. With humility, it always prompts us to ask this question – what are the things that matter to God?
We are supposed to please no one with our lives except God and this includes our lifestyle. I’m sure your question then is this, “So Tin, are you asking that all of us should live like beggars?”
No, not really. It’s always between you and God and your own conviction how you live your life. It requires asking God if what you do pleases Him or not. The Spirit knows what is sinful in your nature and He will expose it.
If God thinks your weakness involves money and material possessions and you easily get carried away by its sinful nature, then certainly He will ask you to let go of your possessions.
If it is pride from achievements and God knows it will lead you to become self-sufficient and self-glorifying, He certainly will rebuke you in that area too.
On a personal note, I hated the feeling of standing out because I have “more” in terms of the riches of this world. I hate entitlement and biases. Back when I was in high school, my Dad drops me off at school with his company car. I studied in a public school and it isn’t common for public school students to be dropped off or fetched by a car going to school or going home.
So what I did, I asked my Dad to drop me off at the main road and then I’d walk about 1 km going to school instead. Pretty absurd, right? lol My Dad couldn’t get my logic behind that but as a loving Dad that he always is, he always gives in. 😉
Even now, I still have this guilty feeling when I eat in a fancy restaurant or when I dress up too much only to see a beggar on the street dressed in shabby clothes talking to himself, or an old woman who pees on her ragged clothes and sleeps on the side streets, or that kid rummaging the garbage can and someone treated him a meal at Ministop.
It’s that aching guilt that what I can only offer to them at that point were prayers. I felt that they deserve more than my prayers or a meal. I was saved by grace, I know they will be saved too by His grace. Though this world may be unfair to them, God is never unjust and I can only continue praying that they will live the life that they deserve. I am confident they will have that kind of life in eternity. But how do I share the Word with a stranger without being rejected? Yes, that is what I always ask every time I felt this need to talk about faith with those who aren’t saved yet.
There is no perfect answer how we should all live. But as far as I know, the Bible is clear in stating we should all be Christ-like in every manner. No, we can never be like Him when it comes to supremacy because He is the one and only TRUE GOD. But as followers of Christ, He gave us the Bible as a guide how to live pure and uncorrupted lives.
“So you received the message with joy from the Holy Spirit in spite of the severe suffering it brought you. In this way, you imitated both us and the Lord.” – 1 Thessalonians 1:6
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” – James 1:27
I guess what we can only ask ourselves is not a matter of whether we live like a beggar or live like a loud or silent millionaire but a question whether we’re going to allow the world to corrupt us or not?
My answer is a solid “NO.” And yes, “no” to excuses too. Let us never validate our actions even if they are wrong because what is sinful to God will always be sinful to God.
They say Christianity is a lifestyle. With that in mind, I constantly ask myself: are we really living it out? Or are we too consumed by this world we already forgot who we’re supposed to be living for?
“Live in freedom, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.” – 1 Peter 2:16
“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-8
P.S.
This is a 1am thought, by the way, written a few weeks ago. It’s an unlikely hour but I always have this urge to write and browse through random bible readings from 12am until 3am. The thoughts just all come as fluid as they can be making me finish an entire article in just 15minutes compared when I write them during the daytime.
It’s the “bewitching hour,” some say. Or maybe the Spirit always come during these unlikely hours? Or maybe God whispered a la the story of Samuel? 😀
Ah, I am assuming and I can never tell but the verse below just popped into my head so I searched for the exact bible chapter and verse over Google. Are you also ready? 😉
“He may come in the middle of the night or just before dawn. But whenever He comes, He will reward the servants who are ready.” – Luke 12:38
I am down with my usual migraine attack (on its 5th day now), but this time accompanied by a high fever and eczema too. Whew! It’s kind of difficult to manage everything when every illness you have bolted in altogether. Though I took medicines yesterday, my husband (a nurse) and the doctor at the university infirmary advised me to take 3-5 days of bed rest for my follow-up check-up on Monday, and limit physical activity. While in bed, I thought about writing something.
Speaking of my husband, though, I appreciate him for his nonchalance. That is one thing I wanted to learn from him – how to maintain a worry-free attitude despite the disarray or when things have gone awry. I am, on the other hand, the exact opposite – I worry about everything! 😀 But through time, I have learned to control my worries, and I’ll share how in the succeeding paragraphs.
Dealing With Life’s Atrocities
I know there came in your life wherein you have never felt good enough – as a spouse, as a child, as a parent, as a student, as an employee, as a friend, as a relative, and ultimately as a person.
As a Christian teacher, I have learned that it is even more important to speak life than to criticize students. We might never know; we are already crushing the dreams of a young spirit because of the negativity. Though trials produce resiliency, positive reinforcement is still best. The world is already complicated enough, mainly because we, humans, made it that way.
Every person is different. It’s the same as how every seed grows to be a different plant. Every plant has its own tender and loving care requirements. Yet all plants need sunshine; they all need light.
The Breaking And The Making
When I was a grade school student, I had my first taste of disappointment when I didn’t win as president of the student council, and I was reprimanded during the campaign period along with the rest of my running mates. The offense? We were late in Math class for just a few minutes, and we weren’t allowed to enter the classroom. I took it as my responsibility to take the blame, being the running President, and seeing your peers crying out of shame was enough to break your heart to pieces.
When I was in high school, I had another major disappointment when I only graduated as “special mention” in class after consistently being on the top 3 honors list from 1st year until 3rd year, but failed to meet the criteria for the extracurricular activities, which comprised a huge percentage of the final grades. One of my high school best friends suffered the same fate. We were advised by our parents to never receive the award during the graduation ceremony, though our names were called because they said that we do not deserve it, but we were present during said ceremony.
When I was in college, I wasn’t able to finish my thesis on time because the adviser from our concentration was on sabbatical leave. We were assigned instead to another adviser from another concentration. After submitting my first draft, I got it back only to see red marks written everywhere, and the one thing that was retained in me was this comment: “How did you reach this far if you don’t know how to make a research paper? This is not the work of a UP student!”
I thought, maybe I should also ask my former professors why they passed me in all my other subjects if I am undeserving to be in UP. 😀 Little did I know that there were several of us who got the same remarks. Yep, in our university, you’ll encounter all sorts of professors, but when it comes to critical feedback, I understood it all as part of doing their jobs as teachers.
Then I worked, a dream job it was. But disappointment once again came. The mission and vision of the workplace weren’t met because one of the figures of authority behaved otherwise. I was the recipient of that very unprofessional behavior, and many have seen it. It happened a couple of times, too. I stayed and chose to keep quiet. But after praying about it, I had to let the job go.
God’s Path Towards Salvation
So these were all hang-ups of the past, which I am sure most of us have experienced one way or the other. Others may have gone through even worse than all these, and if given the chance, they are very much entitled to unleash their grievances as much as they want. But unfortunately, as much as we would like to shake them off, they are already embedded in who we are.
All those years, I have struggled with the need to impress, to seriously meet expectations, to be perfect, to excel always, and to prove myself to people. I suffered from anger and resentment boiling in me, and the need to take revenge and retaliate was so strong. I blamed life for bringing me people who did nothing but criticize me for my weaknesses, and only that, and went beyond in criticizing who I am personally, without even the slightest hint of who I really am and what I can do. This resentment and anger included some issues in other areas of my life, too, which I will not share due to their sensitivity. I really thought I was the unluckiest person alive back then.
For 27 years, I have battled with insecurity, the by-product of low self-esteem, poor self-image, and self-worth – the mentality that “I am never good enough.” Failures, wrong decisions, and disappointments became the stronghold that corrupted my entire being until it led me to a major depression – the breaking point, as they say.
Depression robs you of the beauty of life. It makes life look bleak, bland, and distorted. It affects your every decision, and it just kills life itself. Before I was born again in 2013, I committed suicide twice – both were failed attempts.
No, I do not easily give up. I did arrive at that breaking point on the verge of quitting everything, but I still fought hard against it.
I had two options: let the darkness corrupt me and become those people who plagued others or themselves with it OR choose to search for the light, the hope.
Knowing The Savior
The opportunity came for the latter – I was given HOPE.
The greatest moment of my life was when I was born again through my faith. Why? It’s because when I found out who I was in Christ, that was the greatest and the best thing that I have heard about myself for 27 years.
It was on that day when I surrendered myself to Christ that ALL chains got loose – I was set FREE.
The moment has already come for me to look at things from a very different perspective – a total paradigm shift. It wasn’t everything I hoped for, BUT it’s exactly what I NEEDED which no one else could give me except God.
This HOPE taught me even more than what I have learned in the academe or even from life itself. It taught me how to patiently wait for the right opportunities and how to patiently endure every setback. It taught me that there is a time for everything. It taught me to decline job offers and business opportunities that could’ve made me rich in wealth and possessions. It taught me to pass up on chances of earning titles that would’ve given me some sort of self-entitlement and self-fulfillment. It taught me to weigh options, sacrifice if I must. All of these, if they will, in the end, forfeit my soul.
It taught me to choose God’s will over mine. It taught me to rely on God’s plans rather than rely on my own understanding of the circumstances around me. It taught me to relinquish control and allow God to take over. It taught me that GRACE is a gift freely given, even if undeserving. It taught me how to love others even when they do not deserve it. It taught me to find joy, peace, and contentment even when darkness, chaos, and bitterness are all around. It taught me how to let go of the past and forgive.
It taught me what true humility is all about. It taught me to be grateful always. It taught me that simplicity matters most in life. It taught me to look outwardly and consider what others are going through as well. It taught me that if there is a void that the atrocities of life have caused in me, either by wrong choices or by fate, no one and nothing else can fill it up except God.
I found this hope in Christ alone, and I find strength in the Word every day, which is my guide in this life – not any textbook, novel, or company brochure.
“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” – Hebrews 11:1
Faith Anchored To Our Souls
Faith did not make my life free from criticism, condemnation, trials, and suffering. Yet it gave me a way to view life beyond that – salvation in eternity.
I still find myself in situations I have stated in the first part of this article. But this time, I have learned to see these instances from a different standpoint. I have learned to understand first where some people are coming from and why they are that way. I have learned to understand that maybe they are still in the darkness, too, driven perhaps by the need to compete, to be the best, and to meet expectations, dealing with their own insecurities and personal struggles, too. Or they have this false motive to instill in those who are next in line exactly what they went through, because in this “dog-eat-dog” world, repaying evil with evil is normal. Only God knows everything. What I observed, though, is that when people prick each other to bleed, it’s better to choose to be the rose among the thorns – the salt and light. 🙂
There are times the past comes all rushing back; it haunts. Another disappointment will ruffle your feathers. The need to lash out and punish calls. But I choose LIFE. I will speak LIFE.
Because Christ has given me LIFE. He, alone, gave me LIGHT. It is my duty as His follower to use that light so others can walk in and with Him, too, despite the darkness around them.
Ah, yes. Them.
One day, they will be brought out in the light, too. They will break standards, cultural traditions, and not conform to this world wherever they may be and whatever they may be doing. They will choose to fight for faith and spread light when hope seems dim. That was the reason I was smiling because I was praying for them silently, and I am claiming it all in the Mighty Name of Jesus, who made it possible for me, too. 🙂
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
P.S.
It’s been 3 years now since I got saved, and when things don’t go the way I’ve expected them to be, I have this bookmark to remind me of who I am. I thank the sister in Christ who gave this when she facilitated a talk during my baptism of the Holy Spirit. I have carried it with me since then. The last verse listed is my life verse. 🙂
What matters is who I am in Christ. 🙂
Oh, and yes, one new thing I have learned too from our couples’ bible study Vgroup 2 Sundays ago (thanks Tito Tony and Tita Len for the wisdom) – the boiling water concept. If you put eggs in boiling water, they become hard. But if you put the potato in it, it becomes soft. I choose to be a potato – a couch potato. Kidding. *wink*
Seriously, it only means that when life and circumstances knock you down, don’t bear any grudge and don’t be hard on yourself and on others. Instead, let it soften you, let it refine you, and let it make you better. Be a better potato, I mean, a better man/woman. 😉
Last but not least, reach out to God, and then God will send His people (spiritual family) to help usher you out of the ordeal. I am praying for your struggles, too, my dear reader and brother/sister in Christ. If you also need to share a tough ordeal and are in need of a prayer intercession, you may always pop me an email. ❤
I am no saint, I am a sinner. Yet sinners are the recipients of the blood shed on the Cross. It is with so much gratitude and honor to have this humbling experience of being forgiven though not worthy of a life sacrificed for all the sins made.
Yet God is a God like no other – the only God who can love and forgive always. Thus, I carry a new name – forgiven. This is the reason why we can always proclaim that He is faithful even when we are not faithful even to ourselves and our promises. God is different because He fulfills His every promise. This is how He teaches humility and gratitude which makes us appreciate what we have in this life and who we are and should be living for – Him.
If we are to become Christ-like then we have to relinquish all that ties us to this world and live a life worthy to be called as followers of Christ. I often ask myself everyday if I am giving God justice with how I live now. Am I obedient to what He has instructed on what I should relinquish and how I should live my life according to His teachings in the bible?
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Matthew 19:21
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.” – Matthew 6:19
“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” – Matthew 6:20
How did Jesus Christ lived His life in this world?
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:28
How can we serve inside the comforts of our air-conditioned homes, in our BMWs or Cadillacs or in our OOTDs, or the famous cuisines we have tried or the places around we have visited? What do we know about what the rest of our brothers and sisters are going through if we are so focused on ourselves and strapped in our comfort zones and our selfish desires?
Mother Teresa. She made God proud because she lived what it is to be Christ-like – serving the poor or those who do not have any means to help themselves. How many of us are willing to become like her?
My struggle now which has been ongoing for years is something that I do not see anymore as a matter of accomplishing something. Finishing my masteral thesis made me realize that God brought me in it not to finish and accomplish something that this world dictates as a standard – a degree/title. But I see it all now as a journey of faith just like everything else. God is testing my faith and teaching me something along the way. My only question to God is, “Lord, how can I be of service to You and to these children with disabilities if you have placed me in this certain field of education?”
The season of waiting for answers never mattered anymore. I know God will give His answer in His perfect time. The Spirit was there to guide me all along each and every single day which, I know, is God’s way of preparing me when it is time for Him to deliver the instruction.
We all have something that ties us to this world – possessions, careers, lifestyle, etc. It is so hard to let go of them if all our lives we have learned to live this way. But as this bible verse says,
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
Are we really a new creation? Are we really living what it is that God has commanded us to do?
Instagram, for me, is a community of worldly stuff from OOTDs, bling blings, gadgets, etc. – it is the world that is full of temptations. I do not hate Instagram per se. I love it actually because it is now serving as one of my mediums to share the gospel everyday and to set an example to the community how to appreciate the things that are God-made and not those that are man-made and avoid temptation.
I am hoping to infiltrate Instagram with faith and a lifestyle that is Christ-like through my interests which are nothing more but serving my husband through my passion for cooking; photos of flora and fauna being a nature lover; a simple, controlled way of living; and not too much selfies (because I am not self-absorbed and I look the same everyday). 😀
When it comes to faith, most of the time we have to be bold enough to break cultural barriers set forth by traditions and break away from worldly standards. What does this bible verse mean?
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
Patterns/customs – they are what we call the worldly standards. What are they specifically in this modern age? Vanity (selfies and make ups); greed (materialism from gadgets, OOTDs, accessories, cars, houses, etc.); pride (promotions, certificates, titles, licenses, awards, etc.); lust (pictures of men and women scantily clad); envy (desiring what others have, sharing for the sake of “likes” and the “follows” ); and a whole lot more of worldly standards that we have to break.
Self control is hard. I am honestly having difficulty in this area. It is like having a withdrawal syndrome wherein your one self that says go have/do it battles with the other self that says no don’t do/have it. Like one instance, I was grateful to be a recipient of a gift, a material one and my old worldly instinct came rushing in to post it on social media.
But the Spirit says, “No Tin, that is boasting and that is being materialistic and we know you will be promoting greed, pride, envy and the wrong mentality when it comes to appreciating gifts given by God. Do not post it. God knows how grateful you are with it. You need not seek the approval of others but seek His approval.”
So I wanted to post a selfie because of this new Snapchat trend. I tried it once and I found myself itching to post all filters I have tried. Okay, the Spirit once again said, “No Tin, you are being vain. Appreciate yourself for who you are and how you look like without those filters. Breakaway from being self-absorbed. Rest in the fact that you are already precious and beautiful to God filtered or not filtered. This is a worldly temptation, resist.”
Yes, every day I have to battle with those worldly temptations. To be able to do that, I need patience and I need to be content. Patience is self control and vice versa. Without those two hand in hand, being content is impossible to achieve. I am just grateful the Spirit is there to rebuke me all the time. You know that “tug” when you felt that something is not quite right and you are having second thoughts most especially when you are weighing the pros and cons. I suggest go for the pros always – follow the Spirit.
So who is the Spirit? Well, in the bible it says that,
“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” – John 14:26
My parents are the first persons I know who made a breakaway from a cultural tradition – baptism of newborn babies. When my husband and I went to visit my parents in my hometown last summer, my Mom was able to explain fully why they chose not to have all 5 of us kids be baptized when we were born – my Dad and his family are a devout Catholic (my Dad’s brother is a priest serving in Rome) and my Mom and her family are a devout Protestant (my great grandfather was a minister and one of the founders of the church).
She continued that both my Dad and her wanted to give honor in their respective religions thus, they left it all to God where all 5 of us will grow in our faith. I believe God was pleased with it for it was an example of setting aside their personal agenda and selfishness and chose to honor God instead by honoring in us this one great gift that God has bestowed us all – free will. Just like when Abraham sacrificed his son not knowing what will happen after, so did my parents by sacrificing us though there is a possibility we will all be led astray without a firm foundation in faith.
But God can never let that happen, God will never betray the trust that my parents have on Him. I believe it is part of God’s plan that circumstances will align and make good use of the free will that we have and will mold us into choosing faith that is beyond religion per se – something deeper, something personal and something that lasts – eternal.
This next one might be off topic but since we are talking about breaking away from traditions, I just want to share what I told my husband the other day. I was having these migraine attacks again for the last couple of days and I do not want to take any medications as it impedes my period. But two nights ago I had the worst migraine that I can’t help but cry the pain out. I am grateful that my husband was there to pacify and comfort me and insisted I take the meds, which I did. So I thought about death.
I told him, “Honey, when I die I don’t want people to be mourning over my death. I also want to be cremated and 3 days are enough for close friends and relatives to pay their respect. But I just want all to rejoice over my death. Be glad that I am already with our Father in Heaven. There is nothing else that will make me happiest but to inherit a place in the Kingdom of Heaven. Rejoice that I am already free from pain, suffering, heartaches and all corruption of this world. Be glad and also look forward to the time when all of you will be joining me there.”
Nobody said that it is wrong to rejoice over the death of someone you love. Yet it is also a standard that grieving and mourning should take place over a loss. If I am to physically leave this world then I have to let the people I love have peace in their hearts which will also grant them passage to claiming what awaits when our mortal bodies turn to ashes.
Yes, break away from the tradition of feeling fear and the sadness that cripple most of us when it comes to death. There should be no mourning. Have peace and be glad that those who will leave this world and who believed in life in eternity and have claimed it are now in the safe haven of our Father and have been snatched free from the stronghold of the enemy forever.
Jesus had that kind of faith until death that is why death has no power over Him. To live in Christ is to have the same attitude and faith as He has,
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
Live as what Christ has asked us even if it means fighting for faith every second, every minute and every hour of the day every day. Do join me in the revolution of breaking worldly standards through the best weapon that God has in this world, the Spirit of Christ living inside the army of believers – us. 🙂
For this year’s mid year prayer and fasting in our Victory church, it fell on the month of July same as the Muslim’s end of “Ramadan” and my Paulo Coehlo planner has “enthusiasm” as the BIG word for this month. I intended to lessen my social media interaction during this period to lessen distractions and temptations. Compared to my previous testimonies during prayer and fasting which were day by day accounts, I thought about summarizing experiences for this mid year’s prayer and fasting.
Fasting, for me, actually happens every single day. Fasting is denying yourself the desires of your heart which is most oftentimes can be associated to worldly pleasures to be more in tune with the Spirit. In other words, fasting means having self-control and discipline. My definition of self-control means controlling my desire to get any opportunity to try all great food out there in big volumes (gluttony); controlling my desire to get all the new gadgets in the market and other material possessions (greed); controlling my desire to avail all cosmetics, plastic surgery or other beauty enhancements (vanity); controlling myself in acquiring every opportunity to earn titles and be well accomplished in terms of business, career or in academics (pride) and a whole lot more of desires that need to be controlled.
The prayer and fasting that our church has which takes place during the mid year and the start of the year are ways for me to present to God the even bigger “giants” that I need to overcome not just for myself but for those around me too. These “giants” could be prayer requests that have not yet been answered and yet proved to be quite burdensome and the circumstances that I have no control over. Thus, I make sure my testimony for the prayer and fasting will be documented and here it is. 🙂
Let’s start with Day 1 (Faith to Speak).
True enough to the word “enthusiasm,” day 1 has a BIG revelation already. Before I even started my devotion for day 1, I already received a text message, a follow up about something I am sincerely praying for over familial matters. It was followed by a prayer from me and I cried upon seeing it because it only meant one thing: God answered my prayers just to give us hope although more prayers are needed and yet the assurance that He is with us in this ordeal that we are going through is more than enough. It brought back memories of me 3 years back before I got saved and what I also went through. Then, the bell of a nearby church rang, it signified the holy hour of the day – 12 noon. Ahhh yes, the LOVE OF GOD manifests everywhere. 🙂
I shared to my hubby what happened and he told me that I really am dedicated in doing things that are not even required of me. I told him that yes, I am doing it out of love – sharing the love that God gave me. If it wasn’t for Him, I wouldn’t be where I am now. It is the love of God that saved me from the repercussions of my sin and past mistakes and eventually saved me from death – salvation through the Cross.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus, our Lord.” – Romans 6:23
I continued that I am able to share this love that God has given me to others because I know how it felt to be on the losing end, alone, empty, afraid and unsure of everything because of the total darkness around me and yet God gave me hope, He gave me peace and lastly, He gave me security. All because He loves me. True it is when the bible said that,
“We love because He loved us first.” – 1 John 4:19
I want to share this love to others so that they, too, might know who God is and how it feels to be saved by GRACE out of His undying FORGIVENESS and faithful LOVE to us.
It was in this moment that I realized what my brother told me that I was selected for the task, for this mission, being the one who has a flexible schedule because of my masteral thesis and I have no work. So my prayer went like this as I ended my prayer and fasting devotion for day 1:
“Dear Father,
Though I may shed tears as I humbly pray to you now, it is because I am overwhelmed by Your presence that I am feeling now. You have, once again, through miracles, shown Yourself and how great Your love is for us. You never left me and my family. Through the times that we have to cope with grief, loss, pain and suffering, You gave us patience, courage and strength to endure it all. This goes out to other nations as well and their people who are going through the same thing.
This prayer is not a prayer of requests but of gratitude. I have made my heart known to You and all the needs and the burden that I have to carry and yet I find myself at peace every single day, not worrying about anything (which is unusual) and enjoying a content moment with my spouse. We are savoring these simple but precious moments that we are experiencing now and we never fail to thank You of that every day as we come before You and pray.
Indeed, You are my footprints in the sand, the only footprint visible because You carried me all the way. Thank You for the protection, for shielding us from the attacks of the enemy to steal, kill and destroy, for guiding us in our decisions, for instructing us what to do and showering us with the warmth of Your love.
I know, Father, that You have prepared me and prepared all of us in every circumstance and in every season that we will go through in this life. Thank You, lastly but not the least, for sending to us the Spirit who will remind us, guide us, intervene for us and lead our every moment in our lives. We know that You are preparing us for the second coming of our Savior.
I am lifting up Your Name as I continue to trust in You and claim the beautiful promises that You set before us in every battle that we will go through in this world. We are all victoriously saved through the One and Only Son whom You sent to save us from the perils of this world and take away all our pain, sorrow and suffering once and for all.
I love others because of You and because I LOVE YOU…I am EXTREMELY GLAD and GRATEFUL that I have come to know You and I will FOLLOW and OBEY what You command me to do through the Mighty Name of Your Son, JESUS,
AMEN.
Your loving daughter,
Tin”
Then, heavy rain poured (I love rain). Was it Your assurance God that You heard me? I bet it is. *insert enthusiasm here* 😀
On with Day 2 (Faith to Fight).
Because miracles do happen, I believe this testimony will attest to that – MORE GOOD NEWS! Though I cannot share the specifics for confidentiality purposes, I know my Father God sees it all and the enthusiasm I have for Him and all His goodness. Ah Lord, You are our Great Healer and Deliverer indeed. Thank You for all You have done. 🙂
This verse indeed came to life for me:
“The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent.” Exodus 14:14
Without even thinking who to encourage as part of the “Respond” activity for today’s devotion, God already gave the opportunity who I should encourage when it comes to faith. I only realized it some time after I sent the message to these people – God gave the need.
Today was all about fighting for faith and the enemy will never give up without a fight too, will he? I committed to a no-rice, smaller intake of meals fasting being a heavy rice-eater. Oh boy, my neighbor now started cooking deliciously-smelling viands and the aroma is just filling the entire house and I can hear my stomach grumbling its complaints. 😀
Then there went my internet connection unusually going off for some time, which rarely happens, exactly when I am about to share about faith in my social media accounts. Well, the enemy can try but he has found the greatest adversary ever in me – God. Try as he might, I am also determined to do what I was tasked. 🙂
I also had to go to the mall to buy some stuff and hubby and I decided to eat dinner at the mall’s food court. I ordered pita bread while he ordered 2-piece fried chicken with rice. I told my husband while eating, “Honey, you know how enviously you are making me feel with every spoonful you take with that rice.”
He laughed and offered me a piece of chicken skin (my favorite). Then I told him too, “You know that chicken skin too is sinfully delicious. It contains too much allergens and high in cholesterol, I should also avoid that.”
I went on that controlling my desires and avoiding temptations will make me happy because it will make my Father in Heaven happy too when He sees what I did. So now my hubby resolved to have a no-rice fasting too so he could empathize with me and not tempt me. 😀
Though I did not encourage him to do this because he needs all the energy he can get commuting every day to work for 2 hours in every trip and the demands at work. So I told him to eat just the way he would but just be with me in faith and in prayer. 🙂
My prayer for this day went like this:
“Father in Heaven,
You have, once again, tremendously shown that we need not worry and be anxious about everything for it is You who are fighting in our behalf. You have, once again, given opportunities to show how faithful You are to our needs. Indeed, I only need to be silent and let You do what You needed to do.
I will never stop in fighting the good fight of faith to honor You and Your commandments. Though the enemy may strike everywhere and anytime, I have faith that You will give me the armor that I need to defeat him.
May You continue to give me the strength and the courage to pursue in living what is good and what is right according to Your standards. I am inviting You in my every fight for faith through the Mighty Name of Your Son, Jesus, AMEN.
Lovingly Yours,
Tin”
Last but not the least, Day 3 (Faith to Overcome).
Today was also another beautiful day receiving a personal message from someone whom we have been praying for – a text of gratitude. It made me cry tears of joy, out of gratitude too. Darkness was overcome and there is now light, a resurrection, a redemption and a new beginning.
Ahh, we have such a loving God. If only more and more people could see it. If only more could experience it. 🙂
I believe the following statement from today’s prayer and fasting devotion will answer this:
“We must have faith to hear from God and do what He says, regardless of how unconventional or illogical the instructions may be.”
I know that faith is the only way to overcome every challenge, setback, trial and suffering – claim the victory that has already been made for us through what Jesus did on the Cross for us. We were already made victorious by His blood shed on the Cross – we just need to CLAIM it. Most probably why the word PROCLAIM. 🙂
We are to proclaim that Jesus has saved us and granted us victory over our sinful lives i.e. bad habits, past mistakes, wrong decisions, lust, greed, pride, wealth, possessions, etc. and over this sinful world i.e. death, crime, murder, sickness, corruption, etc. There is victory to those who believe that He has overcome the world once and for all and all we need to do is to live out this thought in every portion of our lives.
We have to proclaim that God, through His Son Jesus, is the ruler of our lives and the ruler of this world – ONLY Him. 🙂
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” – 1 John 5:4
So I’d like to end this article with this worship song that I encountered while having my worship time first day of the mid year prayer and fasting. Honestly, my worship time at home means jumping, dancing and singing out loud because I can’t do it in church lest my flailing arms might hit fellow worshipers. 😀
I was singing this at the top of my lungs and…..hubby just got LSS (last song syndrome)-ed by this song! hahaha He and I are humming and singing this song since then every time.
Well, this song reminds me of what true worship should be: the FAITH to SPEAK, the FAITH to FIGHT and the FAITH to OVERCOME….all with ENTHUSIASM. 😉
Thus, for my prayer, I have this:
“Dearest Father in Heaven,
Thank You for giving me two great partners in this world – the Spirit and my husband.
Thank You for the Spirit who intervenes in all that I do and I thank You for my husband who shares in my every tear and my every laughter through the bad news and the good news, the failures and the triumphs.
We love You so much, Lord, for being with us ALL THE WAY. We are looking forward to claiming life in eternity with You and Your Son. With You nothing is impossible for You have overcome the world.
Thank You most of all for the overflowing love which gives me, in turn, overflowing happiness, peace and security. Thank You for giving me a reason to live life ENTHUSIASTICALLY.
In Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN.
Forever Yours,
Tin”
May everyone raise their hands to the sky and give God the praise, the glory and the honor that He deserves. ❤
And may God bless you, dear sister/brother, who is reading this. 🙂
First, my apologies. I promised to write this after the “tugging” article and yet another article came before this and another one more.
God’s plan – additional relevant info came in along with the recent events which will be discussed at the latter part of this article.
So I thought it better there’d be a “war room” in churches. If Muslims have a mosque, Catholics have a confessional, I believe born-again Christians should also have a “war room.” We are all united by one God and we all serve one God. If I am not mistaken, we have been called as “The Prayer Nation” too.
This “war room” will offer 3 options to believers whichever they are most inclined to do:
1. Pray in the war room alone if a quiet, personal time with God is needed and yet a war room is not available at home, at work or in school during the midweek.
2. Beside a war room there is a prayer box in case they felt the need for more members of the spiritual family to pray for them and yet do not have the courage to meet them personally.
3. Beside the prayer box is an instruction what to do and who to contact when a dire need is there to talk to a spiritual leader regarding a very urgent and pressing concern i.e. life and death, demonic possessions, safety, hopeless cases, etc.
I have envisioned “war rooms” placed in every city which would be similar to the garden that Jesus went to before the crucial moments of His arrest. I thought it better that every church in every city would build what I call a “A Place of Serenity” where it’ll give peace and solitude to those who desperately seek it.
I got this idea from Sagada in the Mountain Province in the northern part of the Philippines wherein it is flocked by visitors who needed to break away from their busy lives and busy environments and I personally call it as “The Prayer Mountains” based from the experiences of friends who’ve had their “enlightenment” there.
Unfortunately, it is a 6-hour drive from the metro – something that not everyone have the privilege to do on a regular basis. I thought why not create something like it within the metro but as compared to Jesus’ garden and Sagada, this place of serenity within the metro will be built adjusted accordingly to the demands of the city lifestyle – crowded, busy and noisy.
It could be a small parcel of land, turned into a garden i.e. landscaped and surrounded by trees and at the center will be a building or any structure that holds cubicles built in the same way as recording studios (sound proof) with nothing else inside it but a chair, a table, a pen, a paper and a bible.
Why these 5 things only?
First, God will give His instructions as prompted by the Spirit through the Holy Scripture. Second, a chair and a table are another option if one does not want to kneel while praying, there is a physical disability or an elderly. Lastly, a pen and a paper will be needed for documentation if one needs to write a specific bible verse that the Spirit has prompted or if there is a need to write down his/her prayer requests so more members of the spiritual family can pray over them. This can be dropped in a prayer box which I have mentioned in item 2 above.
This idea of a “war room” came after watching none other than one of the best Christian films I have watched so far which is War Room: Prayer Is A Powerful Weapon. It is also because I am in need of one being situated beside a very busy street and neighborhood wherein you hear all sort of sounds and noise any time of the day and night. Our living quarters too come in the form of a small apartment wherein there is use for every nook of the place that does not elicit solitude. So I wondered where would I go if I wanted to seek for serenity within the metro so I could hear God’s instructions clearly.
After our volunteer work at the home for the aged, one of the outreach coordinators asked us who would be willing to volunteer as intercessors to that “special ward” which I referred in the article. Three of us volunteered and they are my church mates, my sisters in Christ and my former bible study group mates. I just thought I’d totally appreciate finding a place that I can call a “war room” as being an intercessor would mean I need to have a more quiet and personal time with God so I could present all these prayer requests, be more in tune with the Spirit and discern His instructions – I have so many to pray for in every area of my life and in everything and everyone around me.
In case you haven’t watched the movie War Room: Prayer Is A Powerful Weapon yet, I highly encourage you to watch it for it’s message is just so powerful, it is so real and yet tells so much of the Truth. 🙂
He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” – Matthew 26:39(The Prayer in the Garden, Jesus Prays in Gethsemane)
“But when you pray, go into your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:6 (The Lord’s Prayer)
In case you have been called by the Spirit to intercede for someone or something, this article might help in preparing for the work:
“All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with His powerful angels. He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus.
They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His might on the day He comes to be glorified in His holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.
With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling, and that by His power He may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.”
“Why am I experiencing all these failures and disappointments?”
“If there is a God, then He should not allow me to suffer but how come He won’t listen to my prayers?”
And my answer was simple:
“There is a God, He listens to you and He answers. BUT you just don’t hear it because you don’t believe.”
And I continued:
“Didn’t you know that this world that we live in now is the devil’s domain?
Didn’t you know that most of the problems that we encounter are all fueled by the dark forces and the evil nature that reside in this world?
Didn’t you know that this world is condemned, it is temporary and this was cursed because of our fallen nature, that moment when Adam and Eve (our ancestors) were banished from the garden of Eden because of sin?
BUT…
Didn’t you know too that God has made peace with us by sending His Son as the ultimate sacrifice so we can choose to have life?
Didn’t you know that that life is not the life lived in this world, but lived in a world where everything is pleasing, good and perfect and everything evil, the ones that we are experiencing now, will forever be eradicated including death?
Didn’t you know that this other world is called heaven, a place of eternity and eternal salvation in contrast to hell which is eternal condemnation?
Didn’t you know that what God only wanted for us is to accept His gift to us which is eternal salvation through His Son Jesus Christ?
Didn’t you know that this salvation means God wants to save us from the dark forces of evil in this world by giving us a chance to claim victory towards life in eternity?
Didn’t you know that God wanted to prove to you that He is more powerful than anything in this world and that He is the only one who can save you from the perils of this world just by simply surrendering to the Way towards salvation, surrendering to the Truth that death has no power over the Son of God, and surrendering to the Life that is eternal and infinite – Jesus Christ?
Didn’t you know that it only takes three ways to believe in God, our ticket towards heaven – to repent, to surrender and to proclaim you need a Savior?”
And so I continued:
“If you don’t really know all these things, then I humbly dare you to ask God to come into your life, reveal Himself to you and prove that He is indeed God of all.”
This was how I ended the battle for I believe God will finish it for me. All I have to do is believe then proclaim – this is my battle cry.
I am supposed to be bed resting. But when my body is at rest, my mind is at its best working double time. That’s why I sleep talk, because the brains just don’t want to stop working. Tsk, workaholic brains. *wink* It’s kind of creepy though if it is your first time to hear me sleep talk. I sometimes laugh out loud all of a sudden or sit down as if talking to someone invisible while asleep. My husband is always amused with this though. Because that means he has something to tease me in the morning. 🙂
Truth is, I am a little bit down under the weather for the past days. Actually a little bit is an understatement because I’ve been having migraines for the past days already – splitting ones. There is a striking pain in my lower back, too, and I have a painful jaw line or it’s my wisdom tooth still trying to come out (at my age, it seems weird). I really can’t tell but this wasn’t the first time I’ve experienced this. Prior to this, a splitting headache that went on for about a week bothered me last Christmas and New Year’s Day celebration along with mouth sores, a painful tooth/gum/jaw, and fatigue though I haven’t been doing much physically.
My assessment was that when my immune system is down, I experience these symptoms. During the holidays, there was a lot of stress preparing holiday stuff, then there’s heavy traffic and long queue everywhere. Now, it was the February “fever” as I only got about an hour of sleep, had to be on the road for about 2 hours and been awake for almost 24 hours to attend the hot air balloon festival as part of our Valentine’s Day celebration. The event was not too tiring and it was so much fun especially since it’s my husband’s first time to attend this event. But standing for very long hours under the very, very hot sun the whole day will no doubt drain you out.
I guess my immune system is down again so here comes the same symptoms. Most of them normally go away after some time, but somehow I’m a little bothered because they could be symptoms of an even severe illness. I did mention in my previous articles that my great grandmother, my grandmother, and my Mom are all breast cancer survivors.
My Mom was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer when she was 45 years old. She has been feeling chest pain for a couple of years already, but I guess my Mom just have this phobia with hospitals and doctors (white coat syndrome). It took my Aunties and my Dad a couple of years trying to convince her to have a medical check up.
By the way, all five of us, kids, were born with the help of a midwife only – yes, brave mom my Mom. She gave birth inside the comforts of our home with no anesthesia and medical staff to help her.
Being cancer survivors though, I guess this will be the reason why my Mom and my grandma are now called as the matriarchs of the family – an epitome of courage, strength and faith. And I believe my Dad’s prayers have something to do with it, too.
My Dad loves to go to church but because my Mom doesn’t want to, he decided to be with my Mom and chose to stay at home with her on Sundays. When I was a kid, I would go to my parents’ bedroom and I’d find my Dad sitting on the bed, with knees propped up, head bent down and hands clasped together – he was praying.
I was too young back then and I did not understand what it meant. I would sometimes play inside the room trying to get his attention and yes, distract him. But I ended up being ushered out of the room and reprimanded to never disturb him when he prays. So I asked him what he was doing, he answered simply with one word, “praying.”
It was this one word that healed my Mom and I believe this held my parents together as a couple during difficult and trying times. So now, I was beginning to wonder, “Is it my time now, Lord, to be in this situation too?” I am the only one among my siblings who didn’t undergo a mammogram. I am 30 years old and these are the years when hormones start to change and yes, cancer cells are getting more aggressive. I don’t want to have a check up for two reasons: 1) I don’t want to hear that dreaded line that “You have cancer.” and 2) I have faith that God would heal me I wouldn’t be needing doctors and medications.
Reason number 2 is somehow void. Why? There was one lecture in church wherein our pastor told us that faith healing is really possible but there is also a purpose why God created doctors and why technology made medicines possible. Jesus, our Healer, is not present with us to perform healing miracles. And yet I believe that along with our faith, it is also through the doctors that He passed on this responsibility to heal on His behalf. So yes, I might have a medical check up next week. I also just found out that the pills I am taking can enhance the growth of cancer cells and are not prescribed to those who have a history of cancer. So, this definitely requires a consultation with my ob gynecologist.
I am not afraid to die. I am, in fact, very much looking forward to the day that I will die regardless on how I will die. Why? Nothing is ever more beautiful and rewarding than meeting your Creator yourself. I have so many questions to ask God regarding His awesome wonders that not even Science or any branch of study can ever explain. Just imagine how awesome it would be to hear the answers straight from the Master, Himself, face to face. Oh, that would be such a wonderful privilege. It is wisdom that comes with no price for it is priceless. And yet it is not my intent to know everything that God knows for no one can ever be like God – He is the Alpha and the Omega, no one and nothing compares.
I am ready but my loved ones are not – my husband most especially. I prayed to God about this that if time comes all my assumptions are right, I pray that He would prepare me and most especially my loved ones for the truth. The truth hurts, it always does. But the good thing is that it sets all of you free. Nothing is ever more painful to me than seeing my loved ones hurt. Being the overly empathetic person that I am, I feel every pain they feel and their emotional burden is my burden too. And sometimes I ask God why He created me that way.
For there were times like during last Sunday’s service wherein my husband and I were seated behind a young lady and a middle-aged woman. During praise and worship, I saw the young lady bowed down with her hair covering her face but her hand is up her cheek – I know what she is doing even if I don’t see it because I feel it – she is wiping tears from her eyes. The pain is there. The middle-aged woman also sat down during worship, stayed silent as if praying a prayer and then took a hankie from her bag and wiped her eyes.
Sometimes seeing them that way makes me want to hug them because I can feel their pain and when they cry, I want to cry with them too. The only times I cried in church though were during my altar call and the baptism of the Holy Spirit. When I saw these two women, I knew I had to do something at that point. So I laid my hands out in their direction during praise and worship and uttered a prayer of healing. I felt like I wanted to tell them silently in my head that “My dear sister, though you are in so much pain now, the Lord will heal you. The fact that you are in front of me and worshiping the Lord in this church means that He has chosen you to be among His people – the ones that He has saved. Be brave for you may not realize it now, but you are more than a conqueror. And this is just the beginning of your journey with the Lord. Be glad and take heart, what you are going through is only temporary.”
It would be really nice to approach and talk to them after the church service, but I am a stranger to them so that might be awkward. I am still praying though that even after the end of the church service, this silent encounter of mine with them will never end there. This wasn’t the first time this have happened. In fact, it happens all the time during church service.
And sometimes I really am baffled because knowing the emotional being that I am, being close to these people seems like me being a sponge and I absorb anything that is around me – and the emotions are all heavy. Ah yes, a call for more prayers on my part. I am more than glad and willing though to be of service by being a prayer warrior. Anything for God and His people – nothing is ever more honorable than that. 🙂
Now, back to the cancer cells, I started talking to my husband about it as my way of preparing him for what could possibly happen. I told him that when I am diagnosed with cancer, I want him to live with his Mom because I don’t want him to see me in pain and suffering. And yet he would just shrug it off and will not welcome the idea that he will lose me early on in our lives together. He would tell me that it will never happen. I would just smile at him and told him that there is a 99.9% chance it will happen. It is only a matter of “when.”
I just want him to be prepared when that happens so he wouldn’t blame God as to why it is happening to me or to us. I told him that God has a good reason for allowing things to happen to those whom He has called according to His purpose. I could die early, but we are all going to die anyway. It’s all just a matter of who gets to die first and who gets to die last.
To be honest, it really doesn’t matter if I live in this world for 99 years or for 30 years. For we all know that this life is only temporary. It is only a preparation for the real world wherein everything is good, there is no death, and life is infinite – eternal life in heaven. For all those who believe in God and proclaimed Jesus as their Savior will all meet and gather one day in that one special place along with our Creator. So I continued telling my husband that if I die early, he should be a good man and continue living a Godly life so he’d be with me, too, when he dies and we’d still end up together. There was silence.
Oh my dear husband of mine, must you always sleep on me while I am still talking? lol *wink* But do understand that these lengthy speeches of mine and weird questions happen quite late in the evening and he’s so tired from work. He is lukewarm about everything while I am so passionate about everything especially with my faith and yet by the end of the day, he ends up believing me. 😀
No credit to me but credit to God for making the impossible possible – even melting the coldest of hearts to become warm. Though I must admit that there are days when my husband and I seem like the worst of enemies. Nothing is sweeter though than him hugging you tight and showering you with kisses even though you look terrible with puffed eyes because of the pain you’re experiencing. And along with the hugs came a remark that says, “Honey, no matter how difficult it is what we are going through now, I will never leave you.” Ahhh yes, these are the moments I so appreciate having a husband – a lovely gift from God. Never mind the “dark days.” They weren’t meant to be remembered. 😉
I should be asleep by now, but I thought I need to finish this first. Being stubborn is what I inherited from my Mom but God is changing that, too. So tonight, as I stare at the ceiling lying in bed, I will raise my hand to worship God. My hand belongs to Him as with all parts of my body. They will all be wrinkled or they will become ashes and yet I can only rejoice when that happens. For it signifies the time to be nearer and closer to my God, my Father and my Creator, and be with my Savior, Jesus Christ, from whom this body originally and rightfully belongs to.
Indeed, this life that I have is only a borrowed life. 🙂
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26
The Journeyman's Moments 